I travelled to see a Filipina, but her family didn't approve me.
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- Опубликовано: 19 ноя 2023
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I had an LDR for 5yrs with a Filipina. I had to take care of my parents my father had a stroke then passed away then we found out my mother had stage 4 lung cancer the day after my father's funeral. My Filipina was always there for me she always video chat with me and my mom every day. We was way past the getting to know each other stage. She really won my mother's heart and before she passed away she said son when this is over you take your ass to the Philippines my new daughter in law needs you there now. Here we sit 2yrs later chillin in Marikina city 😎
Rare
@@user-go2st5fi9w very rare indeed
Beautiful, Congratulations! Sorry u lost ur folks!😢
@@user-go2st5fi9w rare or not, it's well-done...
Awesome bro
Thanks for sharing
My wife is filipina, and they tried that shit on here, she told them if you pressure me to marry someone I don't want to marry i will disown you and you will never see me again. It worked she ditched the filipino boy friend and married the gringo {me} .We all got along and lived happily ever after and I never gave her family a dime.
That is so funny.
Salute!
That’s a woman, not a child.
Courting and respecting the family is cool, but not primary. No heavy-handed control is allowed by me to go forward in a relationship. Two tears, have a beer, life goes on.
She sounds like a mature, strong woman.
I would NEVER put up with that much control from a girl's family!
You violate their rules and you might find yourself with a little hole between your eyes... Skary.
@ChochiTo-dd7fd yep, I'd rather stay on the good side of family. Mostly cuz ur in their country!
@@bradleymiller7375 If you find yourself in that type of relationship, you'll be a me-sir-able man in that relationship; you are with the wrong Filipina. There are millions of better options. First rule for expats to never violate is to NEVER live with her family or within walking distance of them.
So don't come to the the Philippines ,stay in your country and do that to all your girlfriend. we pilipino don't care.
The best thing for. You to do is Go home to america get married to an american girl forget the pilipina girls
I appreciate the honesty and no BS, non click bait nature of your content that so many others fall into. Keep it real and keep up the good work.
Yes ur honesty is well appreciated! Just new here and enjoying all ur videos!
More large penis and age gap vids 👍
I feel sorry for the girl, but I have to say, you're better off running away from this family. As a Filipino-American I've seen and heard this story play out many times. It never ends well.
Chances are she felt exactly how the family felt about financial requirements.
To assume in the other direction is anecdotal at best.
Yeah run the other way fast if you are dealing with this it is ok to take the family out but does not mean it is a everyday occurrence to bad sad for her because not all people will put up with this
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Well said Dennis as a Filipino American being honest about some toxic greed behaviour in The Philippines. I've heard several crazy stories since 2008. I just cut and run moving on with my life and dropped my ex fiancee like a sack of potatoes in 2014. Foreign men have to be careful avoiding the gold digger family. I keep it MGTOW in The Philippines since then. I don't care, not going to put any Filipina on a pedestal and her controlling family.
@@ronaldakers3555Faaaaacts it will only be a miserable relationship for a grown foreign man being remote controlled by a fierce Matriarch Mother in law lol😅. I had to cut my losses after 2 years with their daughter who obviously chose her family's side.
Consider your experience with her parents a blessing in disguise. You wouldn't want to hook up with a family that judges you based on wealth anyway. Better finding these expectations early than later. So move on my man and continue your adventure. There's a lot of fish in the ocean. And the fact that she couldn't or would not disengage from her families hold on her says a lot about her. This is coming from a Filipino who understands the culture. Fortunately, this one is the exception more than the rule. Most Filipino families are living in this century and not the past.
The wealthy CA guy...betcha no clue what's going on. I don't blame the Filipino family. I blame the CA guy spending money to impress the family. That's serious simp, insecure behavior. However, it's very possible the "rich" CA guy isn't wealthy at all by US standards. It doesn't take a huge sum to impress. In the US most people who appear wealthy are actually in debt and most wealthy people do not appear wealthy at all. So could be the CA guy is scamming the clan.
@@waterbug1135 thats why im lucky, I met my filipina gf here in the usa, so she knows how expensive it is to live here in the usa compared to philippines. But I also never act like i have money, I tell them all the time that I am poor. And yes, many americans live in debt.
I mean you at least have to offer something. If you're old, out of shape and broke you don't really offer anything. Especially when the age gap is this large, why tf would u even date someone 30 years younger in a non english speaking country. You have nothing to talk about. Go date some old lady that can relate with your times and stop preying on young girls.
@@mark5338”…in a non-English speaking country”. My friend, your ignorance is on full display for the world to see. Are you too lazy to do any research? One of the building blocks of marriage in the west is close proximity age gaps. So look at the shit show known as “dating“ in the western world, and tell me how well that is working. Maybe a little humility, education and understanding of cultural history would increase your understanding.
Definitely NOT an exception at all. Ladies who respect their families this much are not so rare that you would call them exceptions. My now wife is like this even when she doesn't get along with her siblings. And I chose to pursue her even if I had other easier options. When we were still unmarried back then, she definitely would have been capable of breaking up with me if her mother had told her to do so. If the woman is worth pursuing, then yes you would need to court her and her family. If you think she's not worth the trouble then you can definitely look for others. I would always recommend ladies who are traditional and have a deep connection to their families because I want my partner in life to be a deeply family-oriented mother and wife. As a foreigner, this is something inherently to your disadvantage, not because you are of a different race(because I know in the US they always like to play the race card), but because you have a different upbringing. This is good news for our local young men, foreigners can take the women in the clubs in the city, even the sexy hot ones with their soul pouring out of their skimpy dresses. Local men can take the good ones, the shy ones, the conservative, family-oriented ones who would need to be courted.
I was the first boyfriend for my 19-year old Filipina sweetheart We got serious really fast, and started talking marriage. Her parents did not approve at all. Strongly disapproved. She said that it wasn't her parents who were marrying me, so it didn't make a difference what they desired or didn't desire. As a compromise, we waited a few months until she turned 20 to get married. 😁😁 In a few months we'll be celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary. For 47 years of that time her mother still gave me grief over the relationship.
lol what a great story. That is real love for ya
Family and Freedom start with the same letter, but that's pretty it.
Most of the time, you have to choose between both.
ruclips.net/video/mqBPhkf1YqE/видео.html
47 years of grief from the mother in law damn😅
@@patrickmunneke8348 Yeah,, she got trapped in a loop of her own making towards me and apparently couldn't quite get out of it.. She passed away a year ago, and I miss her a lot even though she could be quite rough to deal with.
@@patrickmunneke8348 its weird that in all that time, she didnt change her mind about him lol
Your ability to be understanding and to look on this as a learning experience, and not something to complain about, showcases your wisdom and maturity and sets a positive example to other foreigners. Good job.
Unfortunately some men ruin Filipinas for other men: I met this one girl once who sincerely expected an allowance. She sincerely wasn’t a love scammer, her sister had a rich foreigner boyfriend and she thought this was normal and she expected it. Men need to stop simping and sending girls money especially if they haven’t even met yet.
It sounds like this one rich foreigner dating the other family member set them up for unrealistic expectations. Most foreigners aren’t going to pay for their entire family to travel with them all over the Philippines.
Simps F up everything 😂😂😂
Unfortunately that is probably correct she will end working ofw to support her family for the rest of her lifeand alone like a feminist cat Lady
Every Filipina I've chatted with knows a story of a foreign man that a friend of family member met online and had a LDR with who financially supported that Filipina, sometimes for years. They feel you aren't serious if you also can't provide an "allowance" And yeah, most of these women aren't scammers. Some are working 16 hours a day for 6 days a week to earn less than $200 a month, and a small amount can make a big difference in their lives. But every Filipina seeking a foreign boyfriend knows some friend or family member who got support. And yes, sometimes the relationship works out and they get married. Some got pregnant very young and their boyfriend immediately abandoned her when he found out she was pregnant. But imo some support is expected even before meeting by many women who are specifically looking to meet a foreigner.
it all depends on how much u send her? some is just pocket change@@theoracle10
@@theoracle10You aren't expected to give allowance to people you haven't met. Only fools do that.
As a Filipina myself, this is not always the case. If you meet a girl from a family that’s middle class to wealthy, they are more likely going to be more accepting. Traditional values will still be there but less expectations for financial obligations to the family. On the other hand, most of the time, the Filipinas online seeking foreigners are not the ones that come from these types of families. You really have to weigh all your options.
Best of luck to you!😊
Sad to hear your story.. maybe you are not meant to be.. Just pray to find a right woman for you...Have a blessed day ahead...Godbless you..
i feel sorry for your experience in meeting a Filipina, i agree with @barbcoil not all Filipina are like that, meeting online are not a good place to search, i believe in destiny in God's perfect time you will meet your future Filipina worthy of your love, don't lose hope.
I don't think these commentators have read your comment correctly!?
You are right. Financially stable families in the Philippines are not after the in-law’s money.
ligawan mo ang nanay/tatay niya....
if you are having a hard time with the filipino tradition and the financial requirements. imagine how hard it is for a regular filipino to go through that tradition.
I agree. Many people fail to understand that many these things apply to everyone and not just for foreigners. For example, if there is a party than there is a big chance that entire village will come and food is gone in seconds. Foreigner than can thing that he is being exploited but the reality is that thats how it is in the Philippines even for locals.
The main reason why what happened to you occurred is that the family is seeking to arrange a marriage for their daughter rather than allowing her to date. If you find a traditional girl, you're going to end up with one from a traditional family. This means there is no dating or having a boyfriend; the first man she enters a relationship with is going to be her husband. Despite all this, comparing you to the other guy is just plain wrong. These people are going to be leeches. You dodged a bullet there, my friend.
Oh really! Are privy of girl’s family. Your comments suggest you know the family well. You don’t know what a traditional Filipino family is. So just shut your mouth up! Get it?
Seems like a serious money grab. Living vicariously through their daughter. How shameful 🤨
Yeah, I will stay away from that family. THEY LOOKI NG FIR AN ATM MACHINE
Agree 1000%
Being a Filipina I wouldnt let my family get into controlling me neither making decisions for my sake.
Its truly huge difference when you brought yourself being you of yourself as an adult.
Since my childhood even my mother cant get word for me😁
Dont worry man theres a lot of Filipinas around just in the corner.
Goodluck and welcome to the Philippines!
Mabuhay✌💖🙏
@@frankellis9627 our tradition does have a truly good intention. The aim is for the family to be discerning in choosing a partner for their child-someone who can provide for their child. The problem is, it seems this family want a very rich man, rich enough to support them too. That is not part of the tradition at all.
I was fortunate, my Filipinas father wasnt a big fan of the guys who previously dated his daughter. But when we met we clicked and even the cousins and aunts were so surprised how well he had taken to me. If a person is willing to try to adapt learn some language and be open to eating local foods it goes a long way.
You are the luckiest man alive, respect is one thing being extorted is another. I married a Filipina and right from the jump I gave money to her family. Big mistake, I gave money for birthdays, Christmas, sickness and just for any good reason. Finally I had enough and told them there are 16 of you and one of me and I can not support all of you so I am cutting back. They did not handle the news well, but no relenting from me. You just got to come to the understanding there is no end in sight when it comes to supporting a Philippines family.
A more descriptive statement would be 'there is no end to sucking a foreigner dry'.
You have to assess what kind of family background they have. Are they hardworking family. Respectful .educated .religious. mostly if you chose the poor one.big chance u get a gold digger family
Count your blessings my man. You dodged a bullet. Not only with the family but with the girl too. Trust me, blood is thicker than anything you and her could have had together. Her family isn't the type of family you would want to be associated with. The majority of parents (of girls) isn't like that.
Yes he did, not worth the pain.
Don't feel bad for her. She's an adult, an old enough to make her own life. Status, tradition, etc, is a cop out. In the end it's not about that. Please enlighten yourself.
Good for you!!! Stood your ground, and respected family traditions. There is nothing better than your success to show that family they made the right decision for that girl. Good luck in all your future endeavors, and thank you for sharing your experience.
I married a Filipina October-4-21. her entire family met me at the airport when I arrived. We had been talking together for over a year before I went. All her family treated me well, her father was dead so her brother gave me a little of the third degree questions and the judgement the first time we talked, by the end of the second time we talked, we were all good, they all knew my intentions were good. My wife was 48 when I met her. This video was so well done about the differences in the cultures and people. All my wife's family knew I was coming there to marry her, they are all conservative people and I was pretty readily accepted, BTW my wife had never dated anyone else either and it is suprising how many 30 plus year old virgins there are in the Philippines.
Most of the older ones are lying about virginity. They know what men want to hear. Just like men tell women what they want to hear to get bedroom fun time.
@@jamesritchardson5771 I dont think its about family approval, it is more of getting to know the person entering the family circle. Beside he said that it was the first time they going to meet him of course they have question as the family didnt know him personally only what the gf say or whatever she information she told them about him.
I’m in my mid 40s and just married my filipina last week. Just for fun I’ll have my older sister greet her with a long list of questions to see her reaction. Thanks for the idea.
Many and mostly a woman who come from a conservative parents. Many conservatives parents says that virginity is the most precious gift to their becoming husband.
To most women, their virginity is the most precious gift they can offer to the husband after marriage.
I like your straight no nonsense approach, thanks for sharing.
I had the same happen in Bavaria south Germany, fell in love with a farmer girl on a motorcycle meeting. When i met her parents first thing her dad asked what my income was.
After telling him how much i earn they sent me home, the girl cried but stayed there.
I was lucky in that aspect. My wife and I met while I was stationed in Korea. She was a hard working factory worker and taking care of her family back here in the Philippines. I did not meet her family for the first 10 years we were married, but they never expected her to use my money for them or their needs (they did appreciate whenever I did help her take care of something like a medical issue). But yes, especially with provincial young women, they expect what they have heard in the stories or seen on TV. As far as proving that you are single, I can understand why some would want that because there are a man seed sowers running through this country trying to sow their oats in every young girl they can find. A lot of the things can be blamed on foreign/immigrant men that come and boast about how great America is and how wealthy Americans are. And compared to local men, we are wealthy. I am blessed that my wife's family still has zero expectations of my money being used for them. My wife would also tell me if any tried to convince her to hide any requests from them because she knows that it would mess up our own plans and would be disrespectful to our marriage.
Once they get old and cannot work anymore, you let them starve to death? You will not pay their medical bills?
I hope your kids will also not support you once US social security will run out of money and pensions eliminated.
@@Cap_management Lol, you silly duck. Her family has plenty of younger members that can support their parents by getting jobs either here or as OFWs. It is not mine nor her responsibility to spend our money taking care of her OLDER siblings, their kids and grand kids. Only stupid immigrants come here and do that. We pay the medical care for her GRANDMOTHER only. No different than in the states. I paid for my mom's cremation all by myself. After that, I told my entire family that they were cut off. ALL my siblings are older than me, but did not save up a penny to help bury our mother. When you let people feel entitled to what you work for, you set yourself up to have nothing to show for that work. Our kids already know that I would never let them support me. Military retirement wont end dude.... Neither will my military disability.... I don't even get social security yet... But when I do get to that age.. every dime will go into the bank as does pretty much all of my disability.... For the time that may come where I will need it. Sorry guy, but I always have a financial plan to ALWAYS be able to provide for my house. If we do things like we did for New Years and spent money for imported ribeye slab trays for each house, or got each of the 6 houses a Christmas gift that the entire house would benefit from, they appreciate it because again, we are not OBLIGATED to spend our money on anyone. Only suckers give without criteria or limits. Thats exactly how so many of the ones that come here and go broke end up e-begging on here for donations.. Use ya head dude....
Don't chase! Attract! The right woman at the right time will find you!! I believe that if you have a pure heart, you will meet that woman. Just enjoy your adventure in the archipelago.
❤
In my travels I have seen 2 things that prevail here.....1) Lies ..I am surprized how many lies I have been told. 2) Everything is all about money (it can be either from the family or the girl). I dont lie and at my age (68) dont give a shit about money I still live here, enjoy the place and the people, but have stopped looking for deep relationships.
Yeah completely agree with this - spent 6 month in the PH - the level of lying is off the charts (and cheating - EVERY girl I met of any age said they had been cheated on by their prior Bfs and the girls cheat just like the boys all do). And YES the almighty dollar is primary on every girls list - at least the ones I met. The level of greed is off the charts. My 6 months there were definitely interesting and educational but I have to say PH girls are not really dependable GFs or spouses - maybe some dudes hit the lottery but my experience was it's ALL about money and status and insane levels of gossip and greed.
That'll be a big NO from me dog :)
You sir have figured it out😊
Good information. I married a Filipina and feel fortunate that I am treated so well by her family.
Thanks for sharing such a personal story. :) What a great window into how some family’s are there.
Thanks, Chad for sharing your experience and truthfulness to your topic.
The parents also have to be comfortable and assured that their daughter will be safe and will be living a good life.
That girl will never find a relationship… she is married to her family! Look at this one as a “write off”and move on!😮
Wow. I understand the families are all about status but she's never had a date at nearly 30 and meets a foreign guy like yourself who seems incredibly genuine. That is a surprise to me the family didn't accept it. She personally must be so frustrated. It sounds like they are waiting for a VERY rich foreigner to sweep her off her feet and nothing else will do. Poor girl, she needs some element of freedom and independent decision making at that age. Thanks Chad, onwards and upwards my friend.
Not waiting. Apparently the rich guy is already been on the hook for some time now. Money is likely already been flowing into the clan from that source and they don't want it to stop. The responsibility of kids in clan cultures is to increase clan wealth. Happy or not.
How sure are you they want a rich foreigner to come along besides this guy ? You’re acting like you know this family well enough to suggest they’re gold digger.
@@evelitaolegario3922 excuse me, who are you and why are you reading through the replies? How about just make you own reply to Chad mate.
@@evelitaolegario3922Your people have that reputation, as pointed out by you own Fillipinas. Its all over the place.
Chances are she felt exactly how the family felt about financial requirements.
To assume in the other direction is anecdotal at best.
Just met the family a few days ago, brought drinks and snacks, had a ton of fun, loads of questions asked, not about money at all, mostly about me as a person and how i felt about the Philippines, was welcomed by everyone, like coming home really, I joked about being broke and homeless, not a single negative word about it, just curious if I was happy and healthy, only one thing kinda bummed me out, there wasn't any karaoke because the internet was down 😅
Always sad to hear the downside of relationships here, but it's valuable lessons for people, there's always good, bad and everything in between, my first relationship with a Filipina was a valuable lesson about setting ground rules for financial assistance to her relatives, we broke up when she got angry at me for refusing to send her cousin 10 grand that she lost to a bitcoin scam.
Past is past, there's only now and the future looks bright.
My girlfriend already said she would never ask me to support her family, i don't mind tho, shared blessings just feels better 🙏
Good insight, thx for sharing. Poor girl is going to be single her whole life!
Yes, Chad, you court the family (Mother and Father) first before you think about getting deeper into the relationship with a girl. At least that's what it was like when I was younger, my boyfriend was more open to my parents than to me it felt like, but I was in my teens then. Once I was in my late 20's and still single I was making all the decision finally. My suitor who is now my husband of 36 years still have to talk to my Dad to ask for my hand in marriage.
That's traditional for sure! Many guys are looking for "traditional girls" and are surprised when they find out what's involved.
Sounds like she actually made the better choice, she just needed a good breakup story. The mom and dad must have thought you were a bum. The statement that you have never been married is a real thing for a foreigner to marry in the Philippines.
It would hsve all been different if the Filipina is financially independent
@@ayietan8223 A financially independent Filipina doesn't need to wait for a western retiree to show up 🙂
I agree with ppl that says to keep it pushing. I almost had the same situation with my filipina, with her mom almost being the stumbling block. When I went to see her in the phil, I went with a bag loads of gift, and luckily for me her tatay was cool and laid back, and my girl was fiercely independent. She just pack her things and told them she was going to Manila to meet me on my first visit, and that was the end of the story. But, I made sure to take of the family in simple ways I could that even her Nanay, before she died, warmed up to me.
Chad, you learned so much getting to know that girl and her family. I don't think you'll run into anything quite that 'extreme' anytime soon. Good luck!
Nothing about your story describes a traditional Filipino Family. However, it perfectly describes a family that wants to use their daughter to extract as much money from a lonely foreigner as possible. This experience does not seem to have made you a cynical expat as it has done to so many other unfortunate souls out there. Keep it pushing my friend.
They do that all the time in The Philippines. Be careful they just using us foreigners in The Philippines. I am from the UK I refused to play their game of extortion in Cebu way back in 2014 lol 😂
I agree, to me this story sounded like the family main objective was to protect their investment in the girl as the future "bread winner". The family wanted a gullible & wealthy beta-provider, and the story teller did not fit the bill.
Maybe I'm cynical, but to me there was too many red flags in this story.
First mistake (red flag) was to enter their frame. Everything else is a result of being trapped in their frame.
@@globalismoblackman Excuse me Sir, with due respect dont say or shall I say dont make judgement for the whole country, as a Filipina myself I dont ask and neither ask any single penny from foreigner even they offered such thing.
Anyhow your opinion has been valued, thank you!✌️🙏
Yes this exists in Philippines but it’s far more common in places like Thailand and China. They are so focused on money and status and gold that nothing else matters. Pathetic culture.
@@tessjohansson77are you married?😊
When you talked to the family I don't think they were telling you the truth about the other foreigner. They were scamming you to get money. You are lucky that you found out now about them.
yes i believe
Chad I am a recent subscriber of yours, I saw Paul Old Dogs interview of you. Now I like you even more. I hope that you find what you are looking for. You deserve it
Hey thanks for saying that I appreciate it and thanks for subscribing!
I was fortunate in 2017 to met online a 44 year old Cebu woman. She travels to visit her daughters for several months each year, who are nurses in Europe. I’m now age 79 and continue to be physically fit. We enjoyed togetherness for 6 weeks each year , when she lays over in my USA home. Before March 2020 COVID lockdown we also met and traveled in the Vizcaya islands and Luzon provinces and BGC Manila.
I also was in Colombia for 6 months this year enjoying happiness, joy and celebrating life with two svelte fit vetted girlfriends, ages 33 & 40. I was introduced to both in 2021 on my first of seven visits to Medellin. Medellin is a 3 hour air flight from Miami. There are social cultural activities, and many retirees from USA and Canada in Medellin.
Great story. Sorry to hear about your experience and I feel bad for her.
I know some men want to wait a long time before meeting their family. Or have no interest at all in meeting them. Big mistake.
I got lucky I was talking to my girls family the entire time we were LDR. They’d constantly wave and say hi and ask how I was doing when she and I were video chatting.
Haha, I have Filipina girlfriend, I am in UK for moment, been to Philippines, but I just asked her if her family disapprove of me, she said no. but she is 49 and I'm 52 lol I think your case is an exception, my girlfriend said not all Filipinas families are like that, it is common for them to want foreigners to take advantage of, but you just have to find the right one. Luckily mine is a business woman, owns property to rent and various plots of land to build on to rent out. she don't need my British ££, I know she loves me for who I am and not what I have.
DON'T WORRY! SO MANY FILIPINA HERE! YOUR GOOD LOKING BRO!
Thanks for sharing your story man, I guess it's best to find out way early what not just her, but what the family might expect of you and go from there.
You shoulda flipped things upside down and given them a written list of demands and expectations that you have for THEM. Show them who is boss. Power moves only. 😂
Exactly!
It will not work in some pilipino family.
Haha Nickster I'm consulting with you next time 😆
Nah. that won't work here. Most likely she wouldn't give up her family, unless she's madly, crazy deeply in love...
Her folks would know far more than you if you are the right guy for their daughter! They are not stupid! And they unlike you are not filled with modern age clutter. In America is way over %50 and there is no divorce in the Philippines! HELLO pecker-wood!@@ChadFosterExplores
Not all Filipinas are like that. The woman should know how to fight for what she wants. She should be mature, assertive to decide on her lovelife. Better off with another girl than one who does not know how to fight for the relationship Good luck!
Hi Chad, I know time will come that you will meet the right Filipina for you and that would really be worth the wait👍😊
Kind of opposite for me..I never been to Philippines but years ago here in usa I ran into a Filipina at Filipino function..I know alot about Philippines and can speak tagalog (totoo!)..me and this Filipina got along so well..was impressed by me..she asked if I was single..Sabi ko oo binata ako..she was excited and said she has a daughter who is single too..the daughter came to table we were at and mom got up and whisper in her ear happily but her daughter was not smiling in return..she ask that me and her daughter go talk..which we did but as she got further away from her mom she told me without looking into my eyes saying "I respect my mom and know what she is doing but I'm not interested in you" then she turned around and walked away..I returned to the table where her mom was smiling until she saw her daughter walk away and picked up what happened..the mother said don't worry..she really wants to be with you..ask for my phone number and says will talk to her daughter and call me later..I never got the call
It looks more like her family is looking for financial support. You dodged a bullet getting away from that one.
30 and her parents still control her life?
It's more of respect not really controlling..depends on what kind of family they are.. But for me it's more of respect.. We have our freewill but there are times that we sought approval or opinion from them.. Then balance the decision making
Great video! Thanks for sharing! Please keep making more informational videos like this. Have liked and subscribed!! 👍⭐
Good luck to both of us Chad😊🙏 In God will.
Great HeadsUp and Good to Know. Some families are super cool and worth it... some are not. SocialMV is a very different formula in PI. It's just how it is. Many things can still change for her. She might score an overseas gig that, through time and distance, could completely change her perspective of family control... OR the family might start lowering expectations as she is already at her "Filipina Expiration Date"; but really it's no skin off her family's teeth if she doesn't have children or a love life. But seriously, her family couldn't tell you were a Total Chad!? Joke. Peace and Love, B Goat
Yup, can happen. I think it's smart for any young woman, say under 23, for male family members to vet a potential husband. The men have the experience to tell good from bad. Smart for them to require proof of being single.
However, in PH this often goes evil. When I chat with 35+ Filipinas I found it common for the Filipina to be very unhappy with her parents. One was an OFW who sent money money to buy land and build a house and an aunt stole it. The Filipina parents supported the aunt instead of their daughter because the aunt was the clan leader.
People say "family" is important in PH, but it's really that "clan" is important. Clan members are expected to bring in resources. A foreigner doesn't bring his clan to the table, just himself. That's a big negative in clan based cultures.
By Western standards assets being #1 for for a husband to bring into the clan seems evil. But that's been the way humans have lived for more than 200,000 years. This Western concept of marrying for love and attraction is very recent, maybe since 1960 or so. Looking at divorce and marriage rates...the experiment isn't going well. Normal human behavior has been to commit to the union, commit to raising kids. This current trend of men wanting a hot woman who cleans and cooks, but no kids, and women wanting 24/7 dating life to, but no kids is twisted. What can a partner do for me? Instead what can we do together to raise kids. Without kids marriage is silly. Unneeded.
Many Western man choose single moms to get around the clan issue. Such women are not going to be courted by men with options. Just supporting her and her kids is a lifted burden on the clan and maybe a little money is gotten from the foreigner.
That's the way the cookie crumbles.
@@garyzies3486you read all that?
When the kid gets older, "you're not my Daddy, don't tell me what to do".
whatever you do. do not marry a woman who is not a virgin. this is in yhe bible.
Good information and insightful bro. Thanks for the video.
Every family is different so not every family has the same thinking or standard about money matters. It's like 16 years ago my boyfriend for 3 years came down in the Phil. to see me in person. My family especially my grandfather don't allow me to marry or come to the US. It's a problem so my grandfather is the alas in the family. My older brother talked to my father and both of them talked to my grandpa about my plan. I told my brother about my reasons for marrying in the US. Finally, they agreed for one reason my boyfriend and I got married because He's a Christian, and a married couple won't stay apart. If not because of that, they won't allow me to travel and marry my boyfriend/fiance. They prayed for me and gave me all the blessings they believed that. That was the year 2008 and I am glad they agreed and I am happily married to a great guy. So not all want financial stability.
Great content! It’s been my experience that every time I met the family they approved of me. I had one of those traditional high status careers and throughout my life I always got a pass. But I’m also a great down to earth considerate thoughtful respectful guy. I have seen families like that. As soon as I saw that I walked away with respect. I want a relationship where my partner can make her own decisions without dysfunctional codependency. You’re a great guy! You will have choices.
That certified letter of being single IS a real thing in the Philippines and IS required before marriage to a Filipina. I had to get one myself.
Its great you share this case to others.
Love your channel, keep up the great work!
Blessing of the parents is important in Filipino culture. Every parent wants the best for their children, especially their daughters. Defying parents is a big NO in the Philippines. Yes, we are traditional and we'd like to keep it that way. Western influence has polluted our culture.
I don't mean this disrespectfully, at all, but is it tradition to use your child as a means to better your own lot in life?
Here in America it is the opposite, in that we brought the child into the world so, as parents, we tend to support the child until he/she can get on their own two feet and then we expect them to take care of themselves, not us.
How about we be a little real here and admit it isn't about what's best for the daughter. The guy in the video would have been able to provide for her extremely well. But the super wealthy guy, or maybe pretending to be super wealthy which is very common in the West, brings more to the clan. More money, more status.
I don't think there's anything wrong with that at all. It's been the standard for all human cultures all over the world. Marriage and divorce rates in the West sure aren't showing their way is better.
But, why not be honest about what is clearly happening? I get it's the face saving thing but come on now.
@@TB-xx4gc In the US, parents kick out their children of their house when they turn 18 because 18 is considered an adult and therefore has to move out of the house instead of letting their children stay until they are able to live on their own.
It is not a tradition to use one's child.. Any Filipino would want to live with their parents to take care of them unless he/she decides to separate from the parents. Unlike in the US, children put their parents in the house for the aged because children don't want to be burdened taking care of their old parents. If you want a child to stand on their own 2 feet, guess what? We have so many Filipinos including minors working hard to help their parents. We call it an obligation to our parents to take care of them for all their sacrifices while we're growing-up
@@waterbug1135 If the guy in the video can provide a better life for the Filipina, then, he failed to impress the parents and failed to assure the parents of a bright future for their daughter, not necessarily a lavish lifestyle. Just like applying for a job, the employer looks at the Resume, and then you have a few minutes to impress the employer. Do you want honesty? How about asking every woman if she wants a better life with a man.
These comments are crazy. This is a 30 year old woman, not a 16 year old girl. There's something wrong here obviously, unless she's Muslim.
I can understand where the family is coming from. They know that many foreigners go to Philippines to take advantage of their girls, so they are making sure she is protected from predators. I know a lot of Filipinas who ended up used and pregnant with no support. I know a woman who had a child from a foreigner, who said he wanted to marry her, then she finds out he has over 4 kids from 4 different woman including her in the Philippines. Woman there lot of times just want to get out of poverty, and get desperate. Be patient ladies, don't just give into the guys, lots of times they just want to use you.
Majority of these men not all are losers back home who recently have had divorced, fetishized and taking advantage of the impoverished living conditions of these women in the Philippines. Have you heard any Filipino men from the Philippines wanting to go to Korea, Japan, or the US just to find a woman to marry? No! Right… These men thinks they are superior where they think they can just catch women in the PH like fish. These foreign men couldn’t keep up and level up with western women so having a thought of marrying Filipina women would be the best option.
And I know many Filipino women used and abused left with a child or two buy a Filipino guys.
Maybe we need to get back to where the father of the daughter has a dowry to pay the possible Suitor. That's the way it used to be.. maybe a goat or a chicken😂 LMAO
But of course now the world is upside down. Parents selling their children off to suitors😮
that works both ways. they key is to find a G-dly man. And the woman to be G-dly person. The culture in the West is horrible. Do you should expect the western to be divorced. The reason he come to PH is to escape to bad morals of the West
Wow what an eye opener. I'm sorry you had experience that. It had to be heart breaking for you. Although a good lesson for you and all of us. Thank you for sharing. A good reason to practice the art of non attachment. Although easier said than done. I know you'll find the right one for you.
Very well done.
Your story was very informative 👍
Chad,
Many thanks for sharing, its a shame that they were treating her like a piece of meat.
I wouldn’t personally want anything to do with them….
Imho they were prostituting her… in my book no other way to see it.. poor her, n absolute shame on the family…
Cheers
Glenn
I couldn’t agree more. Very abusive. Such behavior should be unlawful.
If rejected by parents & you really like/love the girl DO NOT GIVE UP on her. Show to them your sincerity & you're willing to do anything. WIN THEIR HEART ❤️ & trust. But if you're a westerner mindset yeah GIVE UP & find a quick or instant relationship.
Wow Chad that’s so sad to hear. You seem like a real good dude. May not see it right now but this is for the best.
Your a good man with a good heart. All the best to you. The next Filipina girl you’ll meet would be the luckiest girl because you are so honest, kindhearted, understanding and a super loving guy.
I would say good luck
to your future girlfriend. God bless you.
This is not Filipino tradition, they are preparing you to get scammed 😂
Maybe they couldn't fathom the prospect of their daughter spending her life with a doofus who wears a baseball cap 24/7/365.
You dodged a bullet there brother, pitty they didn't have there own money instead of leaching off you, who are they to say that you are not good enough, Stay strong, don't go looking for love it will find you, just travel, go out and have fun.
Hope I don't run on a situation like that when I get there. Thanks for sharing your story. God bless you.
Mr. Chad God bless in your journey here in the Philippines. Do not rush in things in terms of love and looking for a Filipina to be your partner in life. Pray to God to bless you with a woman that your heart's desire. Prayer is powerful.🙏🤍
i am Christian man i plan to join ap Church there and hopefully leverage the Church’s powers of prayer to help
@@HessianAssociator that's nice God bless
Keep on searching sir😊and pray for it. Soon you will have one deserving Filipina.😊
Mr. Chad, you're a good man. There are better women/families around , and thank God because these people have shown their true colors. Ask God's help to find a good woman, and He will make a way. Have faith and be careful in choosing a partner. May God bless you and our Lady keep you.
You seem like a very level headed guy. Great interviews on your channel.
This story blows my mind, coming from the Philippines. This sounds more like a story I would hear from Thailand or Indonesia. Very interesting.
Indonesia? Interesting. I've read tons of info on relationships with Thai and Filipinas, but see very little on Indonesian women, families, etc.
Here in the U.S.A. it made the news that women complained that there is a lack of financially attractive men.
Don't worry soon you'll find someone else that you deserve. Goodluck and just have a good time meeting people,who knows one of them is the one for you.
I just watched your interview with your friend. Please be persistent. Show her parents your honest intentions. Please don't give up.
Wow! That's a shame! But i think you are saved from lots of headaches later! I feel sorry for the girl but she need to take control of her life !
You seemed to be a good,decent man ! I am sure, you will find that someone very special who deserves your attention! YOU deserve better! I'm a filifina happily married to a Canadian, my family love him very much because he loves me , and he is not wealthy !!!😂 but very hardworking! Goodluck on your search! Hi from Vancouver!
You are lucky at least you were not scammed and they were clear about their intentions.
I always try to watch all ads no skip coz I love reading all the comments happy thanksgiving chad I hope you get to eat turkey anywhere you are and of course be safe always see you next video…
Canadian friend went there to meet her family. Money was on top of the list with them. They seem to believe the streets a paved with gold back here.
Tell them to start collecting cans😂
You are the one to approve of them! You hold the cards
They were asking basically about Cenomar. In the Philippines, it proves that you aren't married. You would have to get approval from our embassy. You need it if you are going to get married. The biggest thing is if you are divorced, you need a certified copy of the divorce decree. All these things are used when you go to get married.
But that should be none of their business. You are the prize. You shouldn't have to put up with any of that nonsense or even talk with her parents if they are so strict.. There are millions of Filipinas out there. Now, if your Filipina wants you to do a background check on yourself, and obtain a divorce decree, I feel you must do it, but I wouldn't put up with these type of parents' BS.
Parents really dreaming a wonderful life to marry their daughter, but not all is the same marrying for money. If the girl likes you she'll go out with you no matter what. I'm a Filipina who met a foreign guy, my parents let me date him. We never end up together, but 17 years LDR is a wonderful time. You'll find the ONE for you for sure. And yes, I have some Filipina friends who are married to foreign guys😊🌼
This story is interesting, very sad and unfortunate
Glad you were smart enough and not wrapped in emotion to see the light
Good luck with future relationships
Run forest Run!!!
That type of family will suck you dry and spit you out and have absolutely no remorse.
Their one saving grace is they told you up front, most will just put incredible pressure on the girl.
Man, I wouldn't even sweat it. There's a lot more fishes in the sea in the Phils. Consider yourself lucky, bro. They did you a big favor 🤨
NO WORRIES.. IT'S BETTER SOONER THAN LATER.. BUT STAY FRIENDLY, TIME WILL TELL..
It’s one thing to “court” the family, but it’s another to have to buy them… that’s ridiculous
Yep that’s the way some courtships go. Although it’s unfortunate for you that the judgement or expectation was unrealistic, to me this just means she wasn’t the one. Although she may be a great person, as it sounds like she even mentioned, the family will be too much. And as most would prob tell you, in the PH when you marry you also to some degree marry the family. Most are very tight nit families so that has to be considered when finding a partner. Good luck in your future relationships/search. It’s cool to hear that you’re an OT, I’m a RN and working my way out of the US as well, soon to be in the PH. 🤙🏻
Just keep hoping & praying for the right woman for you Sir. God bless you.
Sad but true. I'm filipina married to an American for 49 years now but my parents never once asked for anything.We sent them presents for special occasions but thats it.
Unfortunately their is a misconception that all foreigners are loaded & families wants handouts down to extended relatives. I'm all for helping & have done my share but their is a limit.My parents also did a lot ever since we were children so what happen is that we are enabling this people.
I’m going to assume this girl from from a past video you had of meeting her family. I always wondered what happened with that relationship because you guys seems good together.
Yeah... that very first girl he met in Bohol.... She was a cutie and her sisters were also very attractive... It seemed like a close knit family and were sorted out in life..
But maybe there was something between him and her for some reason....
It does seem like there are many good ladies.. you just got to take your time and go for the best women you can find...
A traditional family looking for someone that will provide for the entire family! So wrong, always check family background and education. It’s meeting the right woman with values & substance.
Often as well, when they hold a good job (like ofw), the family depends heavily on the girls' income to support their lifestyle and retirement. I think the oldest daughter is obligated to take care of the parents in old age as well. The parents probably saw her being with a Westerner as a conflict with their potential support in old age.
Sad to hear that brother but I'm sure you'll find someone else,,try and try until you succeed 😊
I love her story 💕😀
Thanks for sharing
I married to an American too. We"re both
seniors and now we are happy together.
You seem like a very kind guy and very articulate. Obviously This Woman's family screwed the pooch. Considering many families over there are still living on dirt floors with a water pump outside it amazes me that they would judge other cultures and people so harshly. Many of women over there running around with one to three children. No man in sight. The poor women have to be the Breadwinners because the men generally are drinking a little too much. That is not all of them. But many of them. Hopefully you will find the right for you.
Consider the source. You have elevated yourself so far above them.