"What else have I gained" - SUCH a positive way of looking at it. Weight is so insignificant when you compare it to all of the other things you get back.
This may sound weird but you are like the light at the end of the tunnel that recovery can be like sometimes. Whenever you talk about the person you want to be I think to myself, the person I want to be is someone like you. Strong and brave and determined to fight for the things that actually matter in life. I am getting teary eyed writing this because you just have no idea how much you help people and inspire people!❤️
I held onto my “pride” in being in the 40’s kilo. I remember the day I hit the 50s decade i flipped and felt like a failure. I am now a comfortable and fulfilling 64 kilos and 7 years post recovery. You can do this Meg!!!
i agree; blind weighing was helpful to me up to a point but my psychologist told me that it was more valuable for me to eventually know my weight and be fine with it, because healthy people don't have meltdowns when they weigh themselves! i'm still working on it but it's much easier than it was! a number should have no emotional hold over me, right? i think you're right about the 'grieving' aspect too; there's a lot of grief in 'losing' that part of you, but it's not loss, it's growth. also, happy anniversary meg! lots of love!
ah!! great video. i am only 1.5 months recovering and felt that i was gaining too quickly. i think one thing that's important to note is that a larger body or fat should not equal bad. so many people get stuck in this mindset that having a larger unsuppressed body weight is so scary, and i found that thinking this way was holding me back. the neural rewiring of our internal fatphobia was one of the VERY first things i worked on when i started bc i knew it was one of my biggest obstacles
alexandra totally agree. Our body just wants to be our own body’s natural weight & size. Everyone has different hair colour / eye colour / height / shape. It just is what it is. A doctor or a chart or our brain can’t decide what weight we’re supposed to be for our bodies to be happy. Lots of love xxx
I also struggle though Megsy with the thought that I’ve done something wrong if I gain. How do I know it’s true hunger and my body’s healthy response? How do I trust it’s trying to get to set point? So hard to trust .
Hi meg! I just wanted to say that finding your channel was a blessing. You are someone I look up to so much, I feel like you are the big sister I never had!!! Thank you for your videos. You are amazing!!!! Lots of love!! :) xx
Happy Anniversary!! I felt this was such a positive video Meg, your gorgeousness is just glowing. Thank you so much for your honesty and sharing your important take-home messages on this topic that bizarrely plagues so many of us!
Your attitude towards your body and life is a LOT more helpful than those "always-happy-love-my-body" messages we see everywhere. For me those are not realistic nor relatable, but your attitude is, and it really really helps. Cheers to spontaneous dinners and drinks, enjoying a whole dessert and not having to calculate every single mouthful, cheers to more mental space for what really matters! Thank you Meg :) xxx
Wow, so, so, so, motivating. I feel like I am going through exactly what you are going through, and you have reassured me and motivated me SO much that I can push through past these horrible feelings...keep pushing through the crap till it’s no longer crap. So much love
You looked so stunning in your dress, happy belated anniversary! You are honestly such an inspiration, I am also on the edge of a new decade of kilo, and it is terrifying. Your attitude towards your recovery is amazing and something I am aiming for for myself. Using some of your mantras on a daily basis, aha! Your happiness is shining through, you're glowing girl. Keep going, you're amazing
I love your videos! Im the same age as you and am on the same journey having crossed over into a 'healthy BMI' for the first time in 16 years .Everyday is a callenge but i tell you what i had ice cream at the seaside this week and nothing bad happened i just felt normal and had fun out in the sun for the day! It's so encouraging to hear someone else trying to get her life back! keep it up Megsy! x
I always watch your amazing videos! I struggled with anorexia for many years and I know how awful it is...sometimes it’s still hard. Thanks, Meg 😊!!! Listening to you is really helpful and sometimes I motivate myself repeating what you say in your videos. Btw you’re beautiful!
I can totally relate to the new decade thing! I can start to feel a bit more okay with increasing my intake, but then I make a really scary gain and suddenly all the fear is back and ten times worse. I also think it's a good thing to see your weight and sort of get desensitised to it. I was blind weighed for several years, until a few years ago when I saw my weight and it really freaked me out, since it was higher than I thought. That's actually one of the things that lead to my current relapse.
Cessie yes that’s exactly my teams thinking around weight exposure. I’m really mixed on it, I can totally see the pros & cons of both. I think ultimately I don’t want to weigh myself at all, but also get the point of needing to be ok with being at my healthy weight. & I know increasing food / weight is scary & hard, but honestly that doesn’t last forever. Keep going, it gets easier 😚
hello again :) i have literally watched 21 secs of this video and i am gobsmacked and very excited to see what you have to say. this morning i crossed one of those really scary weight boundaries and i feel huge. its horrible and scary. thankyou for somehow hearing that and making this video.xxxx
I totally remember having a number in my head I didn't ever want to go over! That was so hard! But it's a distant memory now. Two kids later and I'm well above that dreaded number....but I'm alive and happy and nothing bad happened.....life happened and I could never go back! You've got this Meg!
+ one point that is always helpful for me: Nobody SEES EXACTLY what weight your body is at! And noone cares! The number is not printed onto your face or appears over your head or something like that! ❤
I just found your channel...you are very inspirational to me even in one video❤...I'm at a very low weight and I'm on the cusp of wanting to start recovery because I've had this for so many years and I feel I'm not living. Sadly I have to wait months for therapy so I'm hoping to gain inspiration to try myself. I'm so proud that you're doing so well and you are so honest about the difficulties as well. Keep going and thank you for sharing ❤
Truly, you are the most inspirational person. When I am getting the screams, I watch your videos and they shut it right up (ish) you are so right. Thank you and well done. You are beautiful inside and out!!
(ish)... hahaha I so get that. It's so hard when you get that motivation or inspiration and then it goes when you're faced with the food, and your head kicks back in. Hope you can just BLOCK THE THOUGHTS, and do it anyway. Just because you get the thoughts, doesn't mean you need to act on them xxx
Your videos are helping me sooooo much right now. I feel like each day is a battle for me and i'm an emotional rollercoaster. Thank you for sharing your journey. It truly helps💕
Hi Megan, you are very brave and together with the support you're getting, Im sure you will get past this stage as well. For now though I totally understand you're anxiety, it's tough. I admire you're strenth to still do everything you had planned for the weekend. Keep on going Meg you can do it! Big hugs
I'm SO glad I don't know what I weigh! I managed to give it up a few years ago after too many days spent happy because the number on a scale was acceptable and days spent miserable because the number on a scale was unacceptable. I think if I were to find out tomorrow my head would be unhappy if my 'bmi is still too low after gaining so much weight & even unhappier if I was heavier than I would ever have guessed. I think it would throw me off recovery. But I understand the point of conquering your fear of numbers on a scale - which obviously my approach has not achieved! You are gorgeous, healthy and still slim regardless of any recent gain - and don't let your disordered head tell you otherwise!
I've been challenging myself so much recently, eating foods I've not had for a long time and it feels quite terrifying. You're such an inspiration and I always think of your recovery and it inspires me so much.
Hi, Meg! I love your determination toward the other side of this fuckin' arduous work! I totally get what you were explaining about the feeling you have about weight gain. For me, I get to be like "omg I got 'bigger'" and I feel I did something wrong when I see my dietitian do not say anything about my weight after weigh in whereas they do mention my weight when It does not improve like either its dropped off or or its maintained from last appointment. and I still feel a sort of relief when I hear it is the same as the one at the last appointment. It is disordered. And my real self is like "thats the fuckin' point Hika!" when I recognize that I am so freaked out about weight gain. I need to gain weight to recover, to get my period back. It is hard but recovery is always hard. So like you say, do opposite action. Feel shit and do the opposite, and move on ! I love you.
Experienced the SAME issue this week. Crossed that scary decade barrier and immedeately felt like "ok, now i'm gonna restict again and diet for a few weeks so that I can loose all the weight again". It destroyed my week and I couldn't think of ANYTHING else. But then I took a step back, just like you and thought how happier and have been the past few month. I'm still restricting and shit but I've also had genuine laughs with friends, been able to go to sleep feeling satisfied and wake up without feeling like a need breakfast straight away. I've been doing things and had a few moments where food wasn't the ONLY thing on my mind. I've gained so many positive things.Screw eating disorder thoughts, honestly. Sometimes my boyfriend helps me to de-dramatise situations when i'm like "oh, I shouldn't have eaten that, I feel so bad bla bla bla" by saying stuff like "you had a cookie. you didn't burn down an orphanage" or things like that. And then i put it in perspective and i'm like yeh. Feeling bad for eating something is ridiculous. Let's stop that! Also, congrats on 1 year of marriage! And also wanted to tell you that your personality really has blossomed in the past few videos! Fun, smart and beautiful! :D x
Thank you so much!!! You are just great and so brave!!! Nobody never inspired me so much - now Im taking all the sweet coffees and having breakfast (things i never used to do in my life) and when I feel shit I always say - if Meg can do it I can do it too! You have really big impact on me :D Thanks again and keep on going! And happy anniversary 🤗
It's so hard for me because people always say they focus on the things they've gained with the weight gain instead of focusing on their body getting bigger, but I truly haven't gained anything positive so far and it's making me want to give up.
Gina Marie don’t give up! I have been there too. I wrote down a list of positive affirmations and read it each day, even multiple times per day. I still have to refer back to it, but as you get your health back, I think your anxiety will lessen and you won’t feel as down. It has just started to turn for me and it’s been about 9 months...it takes time and I still have work to do...but please don’t give up...many of us have been there and we are here in spirit for you 🙏
Wow can't believe it's been a year since you got married!! Aww congratulations!! ❤️ Can totally relate to the new 'decade' problem. It's shit at first but once you cross it, you get used to it after a while. You can do it!! So proud of you Meg!! Keep strong 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻 xx
Clare Watt yehh totally, with patience & not running back. I’m kind of just like ok this is just my body. Don’t always love it but it’s not as unbearable as it feels at first
Thank you SO much I wish I had found your channel earlier food IS jus food it’s so easy to say but so so hard to accept I ate fries tonight because of you THANK YOU XXX
I completely relate with you my love. I’m at the point where I know when I hit x kilos, which is a new decade, I get my period back. Every time. But it’s allowing myself to get to that new decade that is the scariest part - as much as I want my period. Also relate re seeing your weight. Each to their own but I have always seen it and learnt to accept it. Proud of you. X
Such a relatable video - I think so many people have the fear of significant numbers or weight/BMI boundaries and will think "Okay I'll eat more and restore weight but only as long as I stay under XX" which just results in holding you stuck in that same controlling, restrictive mindset. I know personally that I was held back for a while because of a fear of a certain number which was doubly entering a new "kilo decade" and hitting certain BMI at the same time! Wishing a very happy anniversary to you both!
Something I found helpful also was recognising the change in the way I felt about my body say the day before and the day after I found I'd hit a significant number or had a weight gain - by realising actually I felt ok or the same about my body right up until I had it quantified as having 'changed'. By recognising that and that it was an emotionally driven reaction/sensation and that I simply hadn't 'exploded' overnight helped me in actually being okay with it and realising that the turmoil and panic was purely the ED talking
@@tammy8779 Yes so so so true!!!! You see that number and all of a sudden things change, when actually your body hasn't changed at all. That helped me a lot as well! Thanks mate x
Exactlyyyy! It makes you realise how convincing the ED thoughts are when nothing has actually changed. Hope you've been having a good trip home love! xx
I know we’re our biggest critics, but just remember that you’re a perfect being. You are unconditionally loved by God and created in his image. You are learning every day to have self compassion. Slowly but surely you’re letting your light shine through. Sending you love 💫
But megs also remember the theory of overshooting your set weight. Like how you keep hoping it'll stop at that BMI and that will be your set weight, but after years of restriction your body with OVERSHOOT then level down to your set weight!
Happy Anniversary! I loved all that you said in this video including "feel shit, do it anyway, it will pass." I weigh many more pounds than I ever thought I would and feel terrific. I actually have come to enjoy my curvier body....my boobs are bigger! Lol! I am no longer "the skinny one", but I am much happier at this weight (and I'm still gaining!) Yes, it was a shock at first, but I'm grooving on it now.
Yesterday I almost bailed out on myself, my ED thoughts were on fire and I felt so tortured by the voice that hates the fact that I am changing, that I am laughing more, being more creative, seeing life in ways I never thought possible for me, allowing my hunger to be listened to. Today I am looking back at yesterday feeling so proud of myself because I got through it, yes it was exhausting and traumatic but deep down I knew that the quick fix was only going to end up in a big Sh*t hole. I kept hearing your mantras and reminding myself that the beautiful experiences in my life have come from a place of love, not a disordered lying self. You are a huge positive influence in my recovery, the struggle is real but so so too is the extraordinary celebratory moments we are having outside of ED. Meg, thank you for being a supportive light first and foremost to yourself and to all of us within your community. You conquer those thoughts like a legend! Love and gratitude to you. I wish you and Bren a beautiful weekend.
Caroline O Keeffe awwww I’m so proud of you. These days totally come, & these thoughts & feelings. But doesn’t mean you need to act on them. Feel shit & do it anyway, & life does get better. So glad you’re experiencing that 💛💛💛
Firstly weights/numbers and BMI are all bullshyte. Not so long ago these things literally weren’t even monitored or recognised. It was just a ‘given’ that society was diverse and people were all different sizes. BMI scaling is a relatively new creation and I swear it’s done more harm than good! By the way : Yesterday I honestly just wanted to give up on recovery...your video is so relatable though and it’s so encouraging. I wish you knew how much you help others and how scrumptious you are. Did you always follow a meal plan or did you ever just ‘respond to mental/physical hunger’ with zero restrictions (Minnie Maud style)?? I’m not sure which approach to try as my meal plan just seems so...overwhelming. Thanks for all your inspiration. My family are all well built so I know that soon I’ll be facing similar challenges to you - it’s so helpful to see how daym fine you are and realise that being in a healthy range is different for each individual. Thanks again ! You rock!! Kindness and respect always, El 😊🌻
I watched this video and again, it hit home to me SO MUCH. I’m in the same boat right now but unlike you, i haven’t been brave enough to say fuck it and go there. You’ve motivated me to do so, if you can do it and survive then there are really no excuses for me! Going to give my food scales (yes, i know...) to my boyfriend tonight. Just re-watched your video on throwing away old clothes and although i’ve done that there are some clothes that i bought whilst recovering that are also getting tight. There is only one place for them and that’s in the bin, otherwise my head is always going to be wanting to go back to a low but “healthy” weight so i can fit them again. Xx
Did you throw them away? Well done if so, this and throwing out clothes is such a hard but important thing to do!!! Also they'll never be easy, I think we just have to DO IT!!!! Lots of love xxxx
Megsy Recovery Food scale is safely at boyfriends place and clothes have been donated! Freedom!! The afterguilt is not nearly as bad as I expected... sometimes stuff seems so much more terrifying than it actually is.
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HELPFUL!! Thank you for this video! I've been having similar thoughts recently and it's such a relief to hear you verbalise and rationalise them. Inspires me to do it too rather than just having them go round in my head. thank you xx
Happy anniversary :) All your tips truly help, I keep repeating these phrases in my head! Good on you for not letting a stupid number ruin your weekend 💪🏻
I appreciate your videos so much! Thank you so much for everything you share with us. I've been having a hard time lately but you make me see why all this is worth it.
Another great vid & congratulations on your year anniversary, you looked stunning. I'm a year into recovery & been told not to get weighed anymore, but my urges are very strong. I'm also going through bad hungry stage too, which is very difficult to cope with when I know how much weight I have put on. It's great to see you so happy x
@@megsyrecovery191 Thank you so much for replying to me 😁 I am hungry a lot of the time & it's really scary to even think about eating so much food. I am trying to increase my intake and eat when needed, it's just something else to remind myself that it's ok to do 😊
You don't have to feel sorry about giving tips or advice when something isn't passing smoothly or perfectly. That's life and I appreciate the life you're living and the struggles you're faced with. I love what you say about what things dó care in relationships. What you said about your sister : you don't really know what she weighs, but you dó take care about her and you dó love her in the way she is. The only one who knows your weight, is you. When you're in public no one cares about the size of your jeans, no one can see what your weight is and no one cares about it. People love you in the way you are, the way you're behaving, your characteristics and your help. You're just you, perfect and unique whatever your weight is. For me, I love your video's and the tips, advice, and help you give. Not because you have size ....., not because you weigh more or less than ....... No, I love to watch you, because you're you, honest, fair and helpfull. And I think you're pretty and lovely in the way you are
I get exposure therapy to a point, but I find myself wishing you didn't put yourself through this with the scale. It's hard enough to stay on track and eat freely without seeing the scale, and the number is totally irrelevant. We need to be able to eat but we don't need to be able to see the scale to function in life. Lots of people with and without ED choose not to know what they weigh because it doesn't matter! It makes sense to have your team monitoring to make sure you don't backslide but other than that, I just feel like it's needless anxiety. Wouldn't "body neutral" favor not engaging with numbers on the scale? I understand why it's so hard to see the number and you already challenge yourself so much, I just wish you didn't keep putting yourself through this. I think it's important you trust your treatment team, but maybe it's something you can discuss with them because to me it seems like overkill and unfair to you.
Personally for myself a way in which I used weight positively against ED in recovery was actually, for example, when I had an emotional reaction to something and began to panic and could "feel" and see myself physically blowing up or maybe I ate a lot more than usual one day (from a baseline sufficient intake I mean) and my head starts running away with that guilt - then by utilising the weight (which wouldn't have changed or at least not significantly) as evidence to counteract the thoughts and feelings and to actively disprove the ED. As more of these occasions built up it became easier and easier for me to trust in myself, my body, my hunger and not follow through with the transient thoughts and emotions. It is a difficult one as everyone is different and we have to try be honest with ourselves as to what approach works for us. For some knowing the weight at all will just be wholly detrimental or hold them back from progressing, for some it works best to just know it occasionally to learn to accept it (rather than being faced with it out of the blue, panicking and relapsing consequently) and to help keep themselves in check (particularly if they don't have anyone monitoring them). I'm now at the point where I rarely weigh myself (just to self-monitor) but know my weight and I am totally accepting of it, have maintained healthy weight for over a year and have no interaction with ED treatment services anymore :)
Well I think it's just not our place to comment on her treatment. Her treatment team knows best, they are the specialists on her recovery. Trusting them on this is exactly the right thing to do. Not trusting your treatment team can actually be part of your ed still lingering. So yeah, in short: it's not our place to comment on what her treatment team describes her.
I agree with that and hopefully it wasn't coming across like I intended to pass judgement or say this is right/that is wrong etc - I just wanted to explain that I feel it is so individual for everyone and there is no absolutes! :)
This is so hard I know !! I’m going thru this as well And I’m so short I feel like it just shows so much on me so fast errrrrr but you look taller I hope it’s a bit easier for you ❤️
Everyone's always got something they don't like or a reason in there head that they're so much worse. Actually it's irrelevant. Life is still life, it's not a body. Its helped me so much to try and think ACCEPT my body at whatever size / shape / height it is, and then get on and live my life
Ooh shoot weight gain...that's tough but good topic. I would of freaked too, I'm sorry, but your definitely not at all fat! Fat?! Really what is that...uuugh. yea, I understand. Weight really... fluctuates. It is like the band thing, yeaah. Keep challenging those irrational thoughts, yes, don't go back and do what ED obeys you to do. No more cycle. Your sooo beautiful 🖤🦋🕊️🤗 Dang, dessert. Heck yea! your amazing, you truly are and sweet. Adorable picture lol ❤️. Yaaass.. conquering brekkie, I love that you talk to us and yourself through the fear and frustration. Very courageous. I love this better version of Megsy💪☺️👏🦋🕊️🖤🥂
I realize everyone is different but for me it helped SO much to not know my weight. As you said, your body doesn’t care about numbers. And if that’s true (which it is 🙂) why should your mind know or care?
Congrats on your anniversary!!! I am also finding it really hard atm because i'm trying so hard to be a normal girlfriend. Like we ate german sasusages tonight at flaurence and the mashine and i just did not want to be a no food and no drinks boring girlfriend i always used to be. So hard to accept the gains but the life is much better.... agh brain, stop. Anyway, hope you enjoyed your anniversary :)
Yes it is better!! Good for you, keep focused on that. It’s helping me a lot to think “live the life you ultimately want to live, even if your brain doesn’t want to live it right this minute”. Bigger picture, what’s actually important 💛 hope Florence was good x
Hey Meg I really look up to the action you are taking to get better for your life and everything with it!What advice would you give your 18 year old self?
My target weight was....... X1kg. Which really annoyed me. I wanted to stay at the lower decade and argued so much with my team. But in reality I only had to be 1.1kg heavier from X9. 9, so I thought of it like that rather than looking at the decade number itself !!!
It's weird when we think through it logically, right? I was the same, x8, x8.5, x9, x9.5 all fine. But then x0, x0.5? Panic. And like you say, we were talking. 5 or 1 kilo here. Outwardly I looked no different and there is no real difference but the brain panic at the 1st number changing. I stopped knowing my weight and that helped get over this for me.
Would.you.say your at your natural weight yet? Of course it will.always change us women's weights go up down around naturally lol but are you restricting still or fears X thanks.for this x
Hey Meg What is you have been in a big size but you Hated it and you hate your body and what if you can’t look in the mirror, and you what your right ! Old Breast back! What to do?
I would try really hard to not actually focus on my body, and focus on my life. I'm not actually on this earth to achieve a certain size body, and I don't think I'll care that much about it when I look back on my life. It's so much easier said than done, but whatever size my body is in my life, I am going to try really really hard to just say "OK, it's just a body, accept it, and move on and live my life". It's really hard to do but it's been a helpful outlook for me
Any one experienced difficulty breathing in ED? Hard to take deep/satisfying breath? It makes me CRAZY! Doctors havent found anything psysicly wrong with me. I hate this and its so bad i wanna kill myself cause it so horrible. Also make it hard to eat when you struggle breathing. Its not anxiety. Anyone else had this? What to do to get past this? Cant take it anymore 😢
Keep going Meg, you are so inspiring but in a real way, instead of that fake 'doing recovery perfectly' that you see a lot on RUclips. I am struggling with this exact issue at the mo, so this vid was fab! If you want to chat, I follow u on instragram and am @organisedchaosco Im a bit shy to dm you! 🙈 Xx
They need to track my weight to make sure I stay healthy I guess, & just because I’m “technically” healthy in a BMI chart, doesn’t mean I’m at my body’s healthy weight
Megsy Recovery I was just concerned bc in my experience after I got my period back and was in mid BMI they told me not to gain more weight and keep maintaining which is the worst they can say... it definitely stoped my further recovery and I was in quasi for years
@@megsyrecovery191 exactly. Who's to say you're not underweight still. Only your body knows that so keeping track is important to see when you reach your set point and to check you don't slip backwards!!
"What else have I gained" - SUCH a positive way of looking at it. Weight is so insignificant when you compare it to all of the other things you get back.
This may sound weird but you are like the light at the end of the tunnel that recovery can be like sometimes. Whenever you talk about the person you want to be I think to myself, the person I want to be is someone like you. Strong and brave and determined to fight for the things that actually matter in life. I am getting teary eyed writing this because you just have no idea how much you help people and inspire people!❤️
I held onto my “pride” in being in the 40’s kilo. I remember the day I hit the 50s decade i flipped and felt like a failure. I am now a comfortable and fulfilling 64 kilos and 7 years post recovery. You can do this Meg!!!
KellyBelly - that is fantastic! Huge congrats to you!!
My body loves to stay around 65 kilos aswell.
Anna Pomelo yes soooo happy that you learned that..!!!
I really really appreciate the fact that u don’t disclosure your weight! Thank you!
"More than being body positive, I'm trying to be life positive, body neutral"
I just want to bold and underline that. So good!
i agree; blind weighing was helpful to me up to a point but my psychologist told me that it was more valuable for me to eventually know my weight and be fine with it, because healthy people don't have meltdowns when they weigh themselves! i'm still working on it but it's much easier than it was! a number should have no emotional hold over me, right? i think you're right about the 'grieving' aspect too; there's a lot of grief in 'losing' that part of you, but it's not loss, it's growth.
also, happy anniversary meg! lots of love!
There’s always a brilliant nugget of knowledge in your videos no matter how many times I watch them xxx
ah!! great video. i am only 1.5 months recovering and felt that i was gaining too quickly. i think one thing that's important to note is that a larger body or fat should not equal bad. so many people get stuck in this mindset that having a larger unsuppressed body weight is so scary, and i found that thinking this way was holding me back. the neural rewiring of our internal fatphobia was one of the VERY first things i worked on when i started bc i knew it was one of my biggest obstacles
alexandra totally agree. Our body just wants to be our own body’s natural weight & size. Everyone has different hair colour / eye colour / height / shape. It just is what it is. A doctor or a chart or our brain can’t decide what weight we’re supposed to be for our bodies to be happy. Lots of love xxx
I also struggle though Megsy with the thought that I’ve done something wrong if I gain. How do I know it’s true hunger and my body’s healthy response? How do I trust it’s trying to get to set point? So hard to trust .
Hi meg! I just wanted to say that finding your channel was a blessing. You are someone I look up to so much, I feel like you are the big sister I never had!!! Thank you for your videos. You are amazing!!!! Lots of love!! :) xx
so much humanity in this video! thank you! you‘re so golden🌞
Happy Anniversary!!
I felt this was such a positive video Meg, your gorgeousness is just glowing. Thank you so much for your honesty and sharing your important take-home messages on this topic that bizarrely plagues so many of us!
Your attitude towards your body and life is a LOT more helpful than those "always-happy-love-my-body" messages we see everywhere. For me those are not realistic nor relatable, but your attitude is, and it really really helps. Cheers to spontaneous dinners and drinks, enjoying a whole dessert and not having to calculate every single mouthful, cheers to more mental space for what really matters! Thank you Meg :) xxx
I actually am soooo inspired by you. So much love for you megsy ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I adore you. 😭 Thank you so much for all of your honesty and courage, it reminds me of why I'm still fighting.
Wow, so, so, so, motivating. I feel like I am going through exactly what you are going through, and you have reassured me and motivated me SO much that I can push through past these horrible feelings...keep pushing through the crap till it’s no longer crap. So much love
You looked so stunning in your dress, happy belated anniversary!
You are honestly such an inspiration, I am also on the edge of a new decade of kilo, and it is terrifying. Your attitude towards your recovery is amazing and something I am aiming for for myself. Using some of your mantras on a daily basis, aha!
Your happiness is shining through, you're glowing girl. Keep going, you're amazing
I love your videos! Im the same age as you and am on the same journey having crossed over into a 'healthy BMI' for the first time in 16 years .Everyday is a callenge but i tell you what i had ice cream at the seaside this week and nothing bad happened i just felt normal and had fun out in the sun for the day!
It's so encouraging to hear someone else trying to get her life back! keep it up Megsy! x
Awwwww that's amazing, and so much more important and worthwhile looking back than restriction and isolation and weight suppression! Well done you xxx
I always watch your amazing videos! I struggled with anorexia for many years and I know how awful it is...sometimes it’s still hard. Thanks, Meg 😊!!! Listening to you is really helpful and sometimes I motivate myself repeating what you say in your videos. Btw you’re beautiful!
I can totally relate to the new decade thing! I can start to feel a bit more okay with increasing my intake, but then I make a really scary gain and suddenly all the fear is back and ten times worse.
I also think it's a good thing to see your weight and sort of get desensitised to it. I was blind weighed for several years, until a few years ago when I saw my weight and it really freaked me out, since it was higher than I thought. That's actually one of the things that lead to my current relapse.
Cessie yes that’s exactly my teams thinking around weight exposure. I’m really mixed on it, I can totally see the pros & cons of both. I think ultimately I don’t want to weigh myself at all, but also get the point of needing to be ok with being at my healthy weight. & I know increasing food / weight is scary & hard, but honestly that doesn’t last forever. Keep going, it gets easier 😚
hello again :) i have literally watched 21 secs of this video and i am gobsmacked and very excited to see what you have to say. this morning i crossed one of those really scary weight boundaries and i feel huge. its horrible and scary. thankyou for somehow hearing that and making this video.xxxx
I totally remember having a number in my head I didn't ever want to go over! That was so hard! But it's a distant memory now. Two kids later and I'm well above that dreaded number....but I'm alive and happy and nothing bad happened.....life happened and I could never go back! You've got this Meg!
Stephanie Saggs love this message!!! Thank you 💛💛
+ one point that is always helpful for me: Nobody SEES EXACTLY what weight your body is at! And noone cares! The number is not printed onto your face or appears over your head or something like that! ❤
SO SO TRUE!!!
I just found your channel...you are very inspirational to me even in one video❤...I'm at a very low weight and I'm on the cusp of wanting to start recovery because I've had this for so many years and I feel I'm not living. Sadly I have to wait months for therapy so I'm hoping to gain inspiration to try myself. I'm so proud that you're doing so well and you are so honest about the difficulties as well. Keep going and thank you for sharing ❤
Truly, you are the most inspirational person. When I am getting the screams, I watch your videos and they shut it right up (ish) you are so right. Thank you and well done. You are beautiful inside and out!!
(ish)... hahaha I so get that. It's so hard when you get that motivation or inspiration and then it goes when you're faced with the food, and your head kicks back in. Hope you can just BLOCK THE THOUGHTS, and do it anyway. Just because you get the thoughts, doesn't mean you need to act on them xxx
Your videos are helping me sooooo much right now. I feel like each day is a battle for me and i'm an emotional rollercoaster. Thank you for sharing your journey. It truly helps💕
Hi Megan, you are very brave and together with the support you're getting, Im sure you will get past this stage as well. For now though I totally understand you're anxiety, it's tough. I admire you're strenth to still do everything you had planned for the weekend. Keep on going Meg you can do it! Big hugs
I'm SO glad I don't know what I weigh! I managed to give it up a few years ago after too many days spent happy because the number on a scale was acceptable and days spent miserable because the number on a scale was unacceptable. I think if I were to find out tomorrow my head would be unhappy if my 'bmi is still too low after gaining so much weight & even unhappier if I was heavier than I would ever have guessed. I think it would throw me off recovery. But I understand the point of conquering your fear of numbers on a scale - which obviously my approach has not achieved! You are gorgeous, healthy and still slim regardless of any recent gain - and don't let your disordered head tell you otherwise!
I've been challenging myself so much recently, eating foods I've not had for a long time and it feels quite terrifying. You're such an inspiration and I always think of your recovery and it inspires me so much.
Hi, Meg! I love your determination toward the other side of this fuckin' arduous work!
I totally get what you were explaining about the feeling you have about weight gain. For me, I get to be like "omg I got 'bigger'" and I feel I did something wrong when I see my dietitian do not say anything about my weight after weigh in whereas they do mention my weight when It does not improve like either its dropped off or or its maintained from last appointment. and I still feel a sort of relief when I hear it is the same as the one at the last appointment. It is disordered. And my real self is like "thats the fuckin' point Hika!" when I recognize that I am so freaked out about weight gain. I need to gain weight to recover, to get my period back. It is hard but recovery is always hard. So like you say, do opposite action. Feel shit and do the opposite, and move on !
I love you.
This is the second time I watch this video. I honestly find them so helpful. Gonna do the thing's I've gained list.
Experienced the SAME issue this week. Crossed that scary decade barrier and immedeately felt like "ok, now i'm gonna restict again and diet for a few weeks so that I can loose all the weight again". It destroyed my week and I couldn't think of ANYTHING else. But then I took a step back, just like you and thought how happier and have been the past few month. I'm still restricting and shit but I've also had genuine laughs with friends, been able to go to sleep feeling satisfied and wake up without feeling like a need breakfast straight away. I've been doing things and had a few moments where food wasn't the ONLY thing on my mind.
I've gained so many positive things.Screw eating disorder thoughts, honestly.
Sometimes my boyfriend helps me to de-dramatise situations when i'm like "oh, I shouldn't have eaten that, I feel so bad bla bla bla" by saying stuff like "you had a cookie. you didn't burn down an orphanage" or things like that. And then i put it in perspective and i'm like yeh. Feeling bad for eating something is ridiculous. Let's stop that!
Also, congrats on 1 year of marriage! And also wanted to tell you that your personality really has blossomed in the past few videos! Fun, smart and beautiful! :D x
Thank you so much!!! You are just great and so brave!!! Nobody never inspired me so much - now Im taking all the sweet coffees and having breakfast (things i never used to do in my life) and when I feel shit I always say - if Meg can do it I can do it too! You have really big impact on me :D Thanks again and keep on going! And happy anniversary 🤗
Awww so glad they can help. Keep going xxx
It's so hard for me because people always say they focus on the things they've gained with the weight gain instead of focusing on their body getting bigger, but I truly haven't gained anything positive so far and it's making me want to give up.
Gina Marie you are gaining back your health!
Gina Marie don’t give up! I have been there too. I wrote down a list of positive affirmations and read it each day, even multiple times per day. I still have to refer back to it, but as you get your health back, I think your anxiety will lessen and you won’t feel as down. It has just started to turn for me and it’s been about 9 months...it takes time and I still have work to do...but please don’t give up...many of us have been there and we are here in spirit for you 🙏
Wow can't believe it's been a year since you got married!! Aww congratulations!! ❤️
Can totally relate to the new 'decade' problem. It's shit at first but once you cross it, you get used to it after a while. You can do it!! So proud of you Meg!! Keep strong 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻 xx
Clare Watt yehh totally, with patience & not running back. I’m kind of just like ok this is just my body. Don’t always love it but it’s not as unbearable as it feels at first
@@megsyrecovery191 that's fantastic. So glad you are coming to terms with it and not returning to the Ed!!!!!!
Thankyou needed to hear that I am going through this at moment and it is tough but keep rewiring and feel the fear and do it anyway xx
Thank you SO much I wish I had found your channel earlier food IS jus food it’s so easy to say but so so hard to accept I ate fries tonight because of you THANK YOU XXX
I completely relate with you my love. I’m at the point where I know when I hit x kilos, which is a new decade, I get my period back. Every time. But it’s allowing myself to get to that new decade that is the scariest part - as much as I want my period. Also relate re seeing your weight. Each to their own but I have always seen it and learnt to accept it. Proud of you. X
Such a relatable video - I think so many people have the fear of significant numbers or weight/BMI boundaries and will think "Okay I'll eat more and restore weight but only as long as I stay under XX" which just results in holding you stuck in that same controlling, restrictive mindset. I know personally that I was held back for a while because of a fear of a certain number which was doubly entering a new "kilo decade" and hitting certain BMI at the same time!
Wishing a very happy anniversary to you both!
Something I found helpful also was recognising the change in the way I felt about my body say the day before and the day after I found I'd hit a significant number or had a weight gain - by realising actually I felt ok or the same about my body right up until I had it quantified as having 'changed'. By recognising that and that it was an emotionally driven reaction/sensation and that I simply hadn't 'exploded' overnight helped me in actually being okay with it and realising that the turmoil and panic was purely the ED talking
@@tammy8779 Yes so so so true!!!! You see that number and all of a sudden things change, when actually your body hasn't changed at all. That helped me a lot as well! Thanks mate x
Exactlyyyy! It makes you realise how convincing the ED thoughts are when nothing has actually changed.
Hope you've been having a good trip home love! xx
I know we’re our biggest critics, but just remember that you’re a perfect being. You are unconditionally loved by God and created in his image. You are learning every day to have self compassion. Slowly but surely you’re letting your light shine through. Sending you love 💫
But megs also remember the theory of overshooting your set weight. Like how you keep hoping it'll stop at that BMI and that will be your set weight, but after years of restriction your body with OVERSHOOT then level down to your set weight!
Happy Anniversary! I loved all that you said in this video including "feel shit, do it anyway, it will pass." I weigh many more pounds than I ever thought I would and feel terrific. I actually have come to enjoy my curvier body....my boobs are bigger! Lol! I am no longer "the skinny one", but I am much happier at this weight (and I'm still gaining!) Yes, it was a shock at first, but I'm grooving on it now.
Yesterday I almost bailed out on myself, my ED thoughts were on fire and I felt so tortured by the voice that hates the fact that I am changing, that I am laughing more, being more creative, seeing life in ways I never thought possible for me, allowing my hunger to be listened to. Today I am looking back at yesterday feeling so proud of myself because I got through it, yes it was exhausting and traumatic but deep down I knew that the quick fix was only going to end up in a big Sh*t hole. I kept hearing your mantras and reminding myself that the beautiful experiences in my life have come from a place of love, not a disordered lying self. You are a huge positive influence in my recovery, the struggle is real but so so too is the extraordinary celebratory moments we are having outside of ED. Meg, thank you for being a supportive light first and foremost to yourself and to all of us within your community. You conquer those thoughts like a legend! Love and gratitude to you. I wish you and Bren a beautiful weekend.
Caroline O Keeffe awwww I’m so proud of you. These days totally come, & these thoughts & feelings. But doesn’t mean you need to act on them. Feel shit & do it anyway, & life does get better. So glad you’re experiencing that 💛💛💛
@@megsyrecovery191 Thank you so, so much x
Firstly weights/numbers and BMI are all bullshyte. Not so long ago these things literally weren’t even monitored or recognised. It was just a ‘given’ that society was diverse and people were all different sizes. BMI scaling is a relatively new creation and I swear it’s done more harm than good!
By the way : Yesterday I honestly just wanted to give up on recovery...your video is so relatable though and it’s so encouraging. I wish you knew how much you help others and how scrumptious you are.
Did you always follow a meal plan or did you ever just ‘respond to mental/physical hunger’ with zero restrictions (Minnie Maud style)?? I’m not sure which approach to try as my meal plan just seems so...overwhelming.
Thanks for all your inspiration.
My family are all well built so I know that soon I’ll be facing similar challenges to you - it’s so helpful to see how daym fine you are and realise that being in a healthy range is different for each individual.
Thanks again !
You rock!!
Kindness and respect always,
El 😊🌻
I watched this video and again, it hit home to me SO MUCH. I’m in the same boat right now but unlike you, i haven’t been brave enough to say fuck it and go there. You’ve motivated me to do so, if you can do it and survive then there are really no excuses for me! Going to give my food scales (yes, i know...) to my boyfriend tonight. Just re-watched your video on throwing away old clothes and although i’ve done that there are some clothes that i bought whilst recovering that are also getting tight. There is only one place for them and that’s in the bin, otherwise my head is always going to be wanting to go back to a low but “healthy” weight so i can fit them again. Xx
Did you throw them away? Well done if so, this and throwing out clothes is such a hard but important thing to do!!! Also they'll never be easy, I think we just have to DO IT!!!! Lots of love xxxx
Megsy Recovery Food scale is safely at boyfriends place and clothes have been donated! Freedom!! The afterguilt is not nearly as bad as I expected... sometimes stuff seems so much more terrifying than it actually is.
Yeayyy well done!!! & I so agree. It can actually feel quite liberating. Well done you 😚
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HELPFUL!! Thank you for this video! I've been having similar thoughts recently and it's such a relief to hear you verbalise and rationalise them. Inspires me to do it too rather than just having them go round in my head. thank you xx
Happy anniversary :)
All your tips truly help, I keep repeating these phrases in my head!
Good on you for not letting a stupid number ruin your weekend 💪🏻
I appreciate your videos so much! Thank you so much for everything you share with us. I've been having a hard time lately but you make me see why all this is worth it.
Another great vid & congratulations on your year anniversary, you looked stunning. I'm a year into recovery & been told not to get weighed anymore, but my urges are very strong. I'm also going through bad hungry stage too, which is very difficult to cope with when I know how much weight I have put on. It's great to see you so happy x
amy preston in my mind if your body/mind is hungry it’s because it needs/wants food!! 😚
@@megsyrecovery191 Thank you so much for replying to me 😁 I am hungry a lot of the time & it's really scary to even think about eating so much food. I am trying to increase my intake and eat when needed, it's just something else to remind myself that it's ok to do 😊
@@amybubblez3783 tabitha farrar does super helpful videos on this topic :)
You don't have to feel sorry about giving tips or advice when something isn't passing smoothly or perfectly. That's life and I appreciate the life you're living and the struggles you're faced with. I love what you say about what things dó care in relationships. What you said about your sister : you don't really know what she weighs, but you dó take care about her and you dó love her in the way she is. The only one who knows your weight, is you. When you're in public no one cares about the size of your jeans, no one can see what your weight is and no one cares about it. People love you in the way you are, the way you're behaving, your characteristics and your help. You're just you, perfect and unique whatever your weight is.
For me, I love your video's and the tips, advice, and help you give. Not because you have size ....., not because you weigh more or less than ....... No, I love to watch you, because you're you, honest, fair and helpfull. And I think you're pretty and lovely in the way you are
Awww bless you, thanks so much for this lovely message. It's so true in how we value others isn't it. It's a good reminder!
Watching you from France and thank you, i am struggling with dysmorphophobia since I have gained weight and you help me a lot ❤
I get exposure therapy to a point, but I find myself wishing you didn't put yourself through this with the scale. It's hard enough to stay on track and eat freely without seeing the scale, and the number is totally irrelevant. We need to be able to eat but we don't need to be able to see the scale to function in life. Lots of people with and without ED choose not to know what they weigh because it doesn't matter! It makes sense to have your team monitoring to make sure you don't backslide but other than that, I just feel like it's needless anxiety. Wouldn't "body neutral" favor not engaging with numbers on the scale? I understand why it's so hard to see the number and you already challenge yourself so much, I just wish you didn't keep putting yourself through this. I think it's important you trust your treatment team, but maybe it's something you can discuss with them because to me it seems like overkill and unfair to you.
Personally for myself a way in which I used weight positively against ED in recovery was actually, for example, when I had an emotional reaction to something and began to panic and could "feel" and see myself physically blowing up or maybe I ate a lot more than usual one day (from a baseline sufficient intake I mean) and my head starts running away with that guilt - then by utilising the weight (which wouldn't have changed or at least not significantly) as evidence to counteract the thoughts and feelings and to actively disprove the ED. As more of these occasions built up it became easier and easier for me to trust in myself, my body, my hunger and not follow through with the transient thoughts and emotions.
It is a difficult one as everyone is different and we have to try be honest with ourselves as to what approach works for us. For some knowing the weight at all will just be wholly detrimental or hold them back from progressing, for some it works best to just know it occasionally to learn to accept it (rather than being faced with it out of the blue, panicking and relapsing consequently) and to help keep themselves in check (particularly if they don't have anyone monitoring them).
I'm now at the point where I rarely weigh myself (just to self-monitor) but know my weight and I am totally accepting of it, have maintained healthy weight for over a year and have no interaction with ED treatment services anymore :)
Well I think it's just not our place to comment on her treatment. Her treatment team knows best, they are the specialists on her recovery. Trusting them on this is exactly the right thing to do. Not trusting your treatment team can actually be part of your ed still lingering. So yeah, in short: it's not our place to comment on what her treatment team describes her.
I agree with that and hopefully it wasn't coming across like I intended to pass judgement or say this is right/that is wrong etc - I just wanted to explain that I feel it is so individual for everyone and there is no absolutes! :)
Oh you just looked beautiful in your dress for dinner.... congratulations on your anniversary
You two are adorable! ♥️ Meg your amazing and I love that you keep pushing your self.
This is so hard I know !! I’m going thru this as well And I’m so short I feel like it just shows so much on me so fast errrrrr but you look taller I hope it’s a bit easier for you ❤️
Everyone's always got something they don't like or a reason in there head that they're so much worse. Actually it's irrelevant. Life is still life, it's not a body. Its helped me so much to try and think ACCEPT my body at whatever size / shape / height it is, and then get on and live my life
I can't believe its been a year since the wedding! Congrats :)
Amy McLellan thanks 🥳
Meg simply inspiring !! Thankyou ! Xx
Great work meg. Very proud of you
Ooh shoot weight gain...that's tough but good topic.
I would of freaked too, I'm sorry, but your definitely not at all fat! Fat?! Really what is that...uuugh. yea, I understand. Weight really... fluctuates. It is like the band thing, yeaah.
Keep challenging those irrational thoughts, yes, don't go back and do what ED obeys you to do. No more cycle.
Your sooo beautiful 🖤🦋🕊️🤗
Dang, dessert. Heck yea! your amazing, you truly are and sweet. Adorable picture lol ❤️.
Yaaass.. conquering brekkie, I love that you talk to us and yourself through the fear and frustration. Very courageous.
I love this better version of Megsy💪☺️👏🦋🕊️🖤🥂
I realize everyone is different but for me it helped SO much to not know my weight. As you said, your body doesn’t care about numbers. And if that’s true (which it is 🙂) why should your mind know or care?
Congrats on your anniversary!!!
I am also finding it really hard atm because i'm trying so hard to be a normal girlfriend. Like we ate german sasusages tonight at flaurence and the mashine and i just did not want to be a no food and no drinks boring girlfriend i always used to be. So hard to accept the gains but the life is much better.... agh brain, stop. Anyway, hope you enjoyed your anniversary :)
Yes it is better!! Good for you, keep focused on that. It’s helping me a lot to think “live the life you ultimately want to live, even if your brain doesn’t want to live it right this minute”. Bigger picture, what’s actually important 💛 hope Florence was good x
Don't worry, you're looking beautiful..
she did not mention one time that she doesnt feel beautiful lol?
Hey Meg I really look up to the action you are taking to get better for your life and everything with it!What advice would you give your 18 year old self?
So much love to you🌟💙
I love that you swear
My target weight was....... X1kg. Which really annoyed me. I wanted to stay at the lower decade and argued so much with my team. But in reality I only had to be 1.1kg heavier from X9. 9, so I thought of it like that rather than looking at the decade number itself !!!
It's weird when we think through it logically, right? I was the same, x8, x8.5, x9, x9.5 all fine. But then x0, x0.5? Panic. And like you say, we were talking. 5 or 1 kilo here. Outwardly I looked no different and there is no real difference but the brain panic at the 1st number changing. I stopped knowing my weight and that helped get over this for me.
@@allybeetulk1457 exactly it's logically so irrational, but seems so scary at the time!!!
What's the song at 9:45?
Would.you.say your at your natural weight yet? Of course it will.always change us women's weights go up down around naturally lol but are you restricting still or fears X thanks.for this x
Thank you❤️
Love your hair😁
Hey Meg
What is you have been in a big size but you Hated it and you hate your body and what if you can’t look in the mirror, and you what your right ! Old Breast back!
What to do?
I would try really hard to not actually focus on my body, and focus on my life. I'm not actually on this earth to achieve a certain size body, and I don't think I'll care that much about it when I look back on my life. It's so much easier said than done, but whatever size my body is in my life, I am going to try really really hard to just say "OK, it's just a body, accept it, and move on and live my life". It's really hard to do but it's been a helpful outlook for me
🙏🏻💗
Any one experienced difficulty breathing in ED? Hard to take deep/satisfying breath? It makes me CRAZY! Doctors havent found anything psysicly wrong with me. I hate this and its so bad i wanna kill myself cause it so horrible. Also make it hard to eat when you struggle breathing. Its not anxiety. Anyone else had this? What to do to get past this? Cant take it anymore 😢
You look so radiant ❤️
Keep going Meg, you are so inspiring but in a real way, instead of that fake 'doing recovery perfectly' that you see a lot on RUclips. I am struggling with this exact issue at the mo, so this vid was fab! If you want to chat, I follow u on instragram and am @organisedchaosco
Im a bit shy to dm you! 🙈 Xx
Awww bless you, DM away!!!! I'm just really rubbish at responding a lot of the time. Glad the videos are helpful
Meg please don't worry about that number. You are sooo lovely and beautiful 💛😊😍
How tall are you actually?
I love you
Why do you need to be weighed?
You are not underweight anymore so it shouldn’t mater for your treatment team how much more you will gain
They need to track my weight to make sure I stay healthy I guess, & just because I’m “technically” healthy in a BMI chart, doesn’t mean I’m at my body’s healthy weight
Megsy Recovery
I was just concerned bc in my experience after I got my period back and was in mid BMI they told me not to gain more weight and keep maintaining which is the worst they can say... it definitely stoped my further recovery and I was in quasi for years
@@megsyrecovery191 exactly. Who's to say you're not underweight still. Only your body knows that so keeping track is important to see when you reach your set point and to check you don't slip backwards!!
Stupid bitch