It's pretty remarkable how ignorant most parents seem about sex. You'd almost think they would have to be qualified to understand it... but no, its like they get a part of their brain surgically removed that makes them incapable of even simple memory of their own adolescence or the ability to reason.
It's a weird enough movie for the subject matter, but my biggest question is who is this movie being marketed for? Why would kids watch a "rom com" about a son setting up his dad with a hooker? Why would adults want to see three boys go through a sexual awakening? This is a supposed family film that literally doesn't cater to anyone in the family!
The Godfather begins with "I believe in America". "Titanic was the ship of dreams. And it was, it really was." "Ever fart and sneeze at the same time?"
"3 billion human lives ended on August 29th, 1997. The survivors of the nuclear fire called the war Judgement Day." "I was 12 going on 13 the first time I saw a dead human being." "Rosebud..."
*"Titanic was the ship of dreams. And it was, it really was."* TITANIC doesn't begin like that. That's already, like, 20 minutes into the film, when it goes to flashback.
And the Bee Movie started with, "According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway. Because bees don't care what humans think is impossible." *_Definitely_* no difference.
The film currently holds an 8% rating on Rotten Tomatoes based on 38 reviews. It received a Razzie Award nomination for Worst Screenplay, but lost to The Flintstones.
I have to say, of all of pop cultures many inexplicable fixations, the "hooker with a heart of gold" has to be one of the weirdest ones. I wonder if actual prostitutes in the late 80's and early 90's got annoyed by Johns from small towns expecting them to be whimsical, child-like manic pixie dream girls.
“Boy for a prostitute you’d think she’d be a little bit more discreet about ID-ing her clients” EXACTLY! Especially considering the fact that his wife is right next to him!
"You feel that uncomfortable tingling in the back of your neck that tells you you're going to Hell for watching this? …That means you're still human-hold onto that." Thanks, Critic.
Imagine how confused the kids were. No, seriously, imagine how confused all the kids were. Imagine how often the adults making this film had to say "Lol it's adult humor you'll understand later" to all the kids.
I was a kid when this came out and saw it in theaters..(Around the same age as the kids in the movie I would say) Did not know what the hell to make of it, I was 12 and just in awe, I am so glad this kind of shit is getting looked at now more because it was WRONG!
Kid 20 years later to psychiatrist: Well.... there was that one year when I met that producer.... we were hanging out and he took me to meet a hooker, and also [insert plot of movie].... but that couldn't have anything to do with any personality or mental issues I might have today, right? I mean, it was a movie after all! It's not like a kid could be confused by something like that right? No kid's ever been confused after working the set of an inappropriate film, right? Doctor:...... rrrright......
@@mugsmctuggs1318 its weird but I also think it's funny how peeps get bent out of shape over this but have no problem with Jason killing dozens of underage teenagers in every Friday the 13th movie haha
@@arizonaFIREent Ehh don't think they were underage for one, and two.. Friday the 13th is a horror movie anyway and not about sex or in this case... kids. I think it was pushing this message that if your a teenager doing "bad" things like drinking, having sex, smoking weed that Jason is going to get you kind of thing. Also it's not like Jason ONLY killed teens, he killed anyone that got in his way, he's like JAWS.
@@arizonaFIREent yeah not like that movie was made for adults or anything and it's not like one of the biggest problems with milk money is that it tried to market itself as a semi-wholesome family comedy
Yes! And the Malcolm McDowell’s Clockwork Orange narration while he was on the hunt for V. Only thing missing was mentioning that there was a Randy Newman song playing while a prostitute is wandering through Pleasantville... I guess it was more fitting than Pour Some Sugar On Me or Cherry Pie 🤣
this movie was filmed in the town i grew up in and there are posters for it in a bunch of places so many people are proud, even my dad was proud because his car can be seen in the chase seen
OVER 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
"Maybe this was made in France as an independent film with a hard-R." Cue in "Cuties" You think this was inappropriate, you should weigh in on that film on Netflix
Someone? Worse. *Someones* Writers, producers, directors, editors, set and costume designers, composers, and so many actors And wanna hear the funniest part? There were lawsuits over the rights to the script. People fought over the right to make this movie
they already had porn so id go for touching them imo, i offered a girl $50 to see her tits as a kid, wasn't going to really do it but for the lulz. seems like they wanted to tell an adult story but watered it down for whatever reason.
I remember being their age and having all the thoughts that came with it, *BUT* I had the basic common sense to not go up to a random woman on the street and ask them if they were a prostitute (4:44 I'd smack them too). "I want to be a gentleman," says the little shit going up to random women on the street and asking them if they're prostitutes. 11:22-12:46 What the hell is up with that scene?
How DID it get made? Like I can barely even imagine myself being able to clean up the pitch idea to a boardroom, but imagine having to send a whole crew out to work on it publicly, taking interviews WITH KIDS! It would be like letting a kid disarm a landmine, the topic is already as taboo as it is, combine that with the kid's clumsiness, any of the crew's laziness(behind the scenes) and any random asshole that just happens to stumble on the set at some random moment, someone is bound to just simply say "hey I'm working/stepped onto a set for a movie about kids paying for a hooker" lol Like just think about from the angle of how did it get all the way through without being shut down, all it would take is a kid says "some movie director wants me to play with a hooker for a movie I'm in", and any sane person's knee-jerk reaction would be getting police or some investigator involved.
_[Boys help her smoke]_ _[She asks to see their chests]_ *NC:* Awkward levels rising... *Me:* Oh, no, no, I support this. She's teaching them that it's not okay to - *Her:* Okay, you're not hairy enough to be dangerous. *Me:* FFS
If it had been about the stripper teaching the kids that she’s a person not an object that would’ve been fine heck you could still easily get her to Ed Harris’s house for the movies second and third act by having her bring the kids back to her place and all the crap with the mob happens before she has the chance to call the cops to bring the kids home
18:12 nostalgia critic: "it is wet, smelly and full of algae, so it seems just as logical" Applause for that. Where did you get your ideas dude. This is hilarious.
This whole movie just feels wrong. Like, I almost couldn't finish watching this review. I'm fine with gory, disturbing, horrifying shit in movies, sure, that's fine, but this just feels WRONG. Just every aspect of it. I guess I'm not disgusted by the content, I'm just disgusted that anyone thought this was a good idea.
I think that what director was trying to accomplish was to resent sexuality from innocent child's point of view. A ballsy concept, just very poorly and creepily executed. I agree on that.
NC: "Maybe if this was made independently in France with a hard R, something could've come from this." Anakin: *looks at Netflix's Cuties poster* "Apparently not."
To be honest, his movie had potential. When I heard the synopsis of it, 3 kids befriend a prostitute, I was like "that sounds so rediculous, it might be good", but unfortunately, it wasn't.
Rewriting this: Three boys go into the city for fun after they earn a lot of money doing odd jobs, and through a weird series of events, end up befriending a woman with a heart of gold forced to work as a prostitute. The boys don't know this, and assume she's a businesswoman or something. Make the kids more innocent, without all of the awkward sex jokes and stuff. The woman ends up meeting the father and starts to fall in love with them. But when her old boss is after her, the boys won't let her get hurt, despite learning about the line of work she's in. It's not perfect, but Lord knows it's better than the film we GOT.
I thought I lost my math test because I couldn't find it in my binder and I got super stressed, then I looked up and it was on my desk. that made me really awake and I knew I wouldn't fall asleep, so I watched this. thank you for calming me nostalgia critic
Not saying the movie executed this right, but I don't think people understand the intent of this movie. It's not trying to portray explicit child sexual conduct, but rather serve as a commentary on a time when we were children and found out about sex for the first time, and the hijinks that ensued. Unless you've lived under a rock, there was a moment in your life when you were taught sex through sex ed or your parents, and you and your friends snuck adult material you weren't supposed to look at, because it was something that made you feel cool, edgy, and grown up. It's supposed to remind you of that awkward moment in your preteen phase, rather than being explicit child sexual conduct. Again, not saying the movie executed this right, but I believe that was the intention of this movie.
I watched this movie when I was young and I have been searching for it for years. Yes, it was a terrible movie but it stuck out in my mind. Much like a lot of extremely obscure and strange movies, I tend to remembered it because it was weird.
Wait, wait, wait why would you slap a little kid? That seems kind of awful. Wouldn't a sane adult woman be like "Hey, where are your parents? Are you lost?" Am I missing something?
Jennifer Thimell In the olden days, an adult wasn't expected to treat a child like a fragile house of cards that would collapse from even the slightest breeze. Or some shit like that, the fuck do I know?
+Lord Apex asking a group of obviously confused kids if they are lost is not treating them like they're fragile - it's making sure they don't get murdered
Lord Apex is right. I was about the age of these kids when this movie came out, and you better believe that if I spoke to a stranger the way those kids did I would have gotten slapped across the face by the woman and my own mother. These kids were not acting lost. They were acting like horrible little shits, and the woman responded appropriately.
I think the reason she made them lift their shirts over their heads was to make sure they didn't have wires on them. She's a prostitute so I suppose it makes sense, but if that's the case, the movie did not make that apparent enough. I remember my aunt taking us to see this in theaters and us walking right out. Go figure.
Okay see that makes sense but the fact that she would even check instead of just rejecting children like a sane adult (hooker or otherwise) made me very very VERY concerned and she's not even real. DAMN YOU STUPID MOVIE!
During the "What's wrong with this scene" checklist, my favorite moment is Critic dubbing over the sassy-looking girl with, "Well, I'll be...Yes! yes it is."
...along with everyone who has seen this movie, anyone who has heard of this movie, and anybody who was within a mile of any theaters this movie was played in or the places the movie was developed.
I'm legitimately surprised Melanie Griffith said yes to being in this. I honestly believed she was smarter than that. But Malcolm McDowall being in it? That doesn't surprise me at all! And that's a real shame.
And then the makers of Cuties took a look at this movie, said “hold my beer,” and the rest was history...very, very bad history, if you will. EDIT 19:02: Hello Doug, I’m from the future, and I’m here to say, be careful what you wish for.
Here is Roger Ebert's review of the film: Sometimes they produce a documentary about the making of a movie. You know, like "The Making of 'Jurassic Park.' " I would give anything within reason to see "The Making of 'Milk Money' " -- or, for that matter, to simply listen to recordings of the executive story conferences. In fact, it's funny...as I sit here in a late summer reverie...why, it's almost as if I can hear the voices now... Studio Executive A: So what's the premise? Studio Executive B: We got kids, we got sex, we got romance, all in a family picture. A: Can't have sex in a family picture. B: Depends. Nobody actually has sex. Sure, you got a hooker, but she's a good hooker, with a heart of gold. Melanie Griffith is gonna play her. A: Kind of like "Working Girl Turns a Trick?" B: Cuter than that. We start with three 12-year-old boys. They're going crazy because they've never seen a naked woman. A: Whatsamatter? They poor? Don't they have cable? B: Ever hear of the concept of "the willing suspension of disbelief"? I know the audience will find it hard to believe, but it's true: These kids don't know what a naked woman looks like. So they pool their women on the street if they're hookers, until they find one who is. That's Melanie. A: How much they got? B: More'n a hundred bucks. So she shows them. A: She strips? This has got to get a PG-13 rating. B: Like I say, it's a family movie. She only strips to the waist. And we see her from the back. A: (Slightly disappointed) Oh. So that's 10 minutes. Where do we go from here? B:There's more to the plot. Melanie is in danger from the evil gangsters who control prostitution, and after her pimp is killed they think she has all of his money. So she needs to hide out. And one of the kids thinks she'd make an ideal wife for his dad. So he invites her out to the suburbs. A: The dad's not married? B: We got a nice touch here. The kid's mother died in childbirth. So all his life he's had this single father. He wants to fix up Dad with the hooker, see? He thinks she'd make a great mom. A: So we get a Meet Cute? B: Yeah. See, the kid moves the hooker into his tree house, and then tells his dad that she's his buddy's math tutor. A: What's she wearing? B: A kind of clingy minidress with a low neckline. High heels. A: Is that what a math tutor wears? B: You ever see "My Tutor"? "Private Lessons"? A: You got a point. So dad doesn't catch on. B: Naw. He falls for her. Also, this is a nice angle: He's a science teacher who is fighting to save the wetlands near the school from an evil developer who wants to pave it and turn it into a shopping center. Dad is played by Ed Harris. A: (Nods approvingly) Ecology. Very good. B: So the hooker is in the tree house, Dad thinks she's a math tutor, and meanwhile the gangster is cruising the streets of the suburb with another hooker, looking for her. Dad is fighting against the encroachment of the wetlands and finally chains himself to his automobile so the bulldozers can't come in. And we throw in some of those cute conversations where one person means one thing and another person means something else. You know, so that all of the people in the town know she's a hooker except for Dad, who takes her out to eat and scandalizes your standard table of gossiping local biddies. A: This is nice, this is original. B: We put in some nice Norman Rockwell touches. Like, the way the kid communicates between his bedroom and the hooker in the tree house is with one of those old tin-can telephones? You know, where you attach two cans with a string? A: I was never able to get one of those to work when I was a kid. B:Neither was I. But don't worry. No kid today has ever seen one before, so they won't know. Today's kids use cellular phones and beepers. A: Good point. B: Then we get the big climax. A: What happens? B: I don't want to spoil it for you, but let's just say the gangster doesn't get what he wants, and true love saves the day. A: What about the wetlands? B: The wetlands? Let me just say, from the point of view of the ultimate significance of this picture, the message-for-the-family-audience sort of thing, the wetlands are what this picture is all about. A: Saving the wetlands. A good cause. B: Of course, you don't mention the wetlands in the ads. A: No, you mention the hooker in the ads. So what's the picture called? "Pocket Money"? B: No, it's called "Milk Money." A: Why "Milk Money"? B: You'll understand when you see the ads.
+Murcia doxial, Well, that was an unnecessary passiv agressiv answer. Also, the psychological effects of child molestion are offten way worse and take way longer to heal than any physical damage done.
yeah, thats very, very true, but in the male adult on little girl/boy events the physical sideeffects of the abuse tend to make the psychological sideeffects much more terrible because of how painful and invasive it is, i stand by my tone tho
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There's nothing more innocent and charming than 3 boys hiring a prostitute. I'm surprised more family films don't take this route
Felinis I would love if the little rascals film took the same plot
Those are some pimping kids
Felinis the best of times
We need a sequal with a gigolo staring three girls because innocence and charm just ooze from that scenario
It's pretty remarkable how ignorant most parents seem about sex. You'd almost think they would have to be qualified to understand it... but no, its like they get a part of their brain surgically removed that makes them incapable of even simple memory of their own adolescence or the ability to reason.
A faaaamily picture.
You know, for kids...
Bring the kiddies
A faaaaamily ptcha!
Actually, this movie at least had the decency to be rated PG-13. And this was back when that rating actually meant something.
@@gageperuti5519 ironic i watched this at 21 and felt traumatized it has no appropriate age ratings beyond dead
A FAMILY PICTURE
I just can't unhear it.
YOU KNOW, FOR KIDS
Bring the kiddies
Well I mean it never was supposed to be, so the joke doesn't really work imo.
"BETTER NOT BRING YO KIDS!" -Dave Chappelle
It's a weird enough movie for the subject matter, but my biggest question is who is this movie being marketed for? Why would kids watch a "rom com" about a son setting up his dad with a hooker? Why would adults want to see three boys go through a sexual awakening? This is a supposed family film that literally doesn't cater to anyone in the family!
I was 12 when I watched this and made perfect sense.
Netflix's "Cuties" was born for a reason...
@@eduardovalencia2197 Nice!
The Godfather begins with "I believe in America".
"Titanic was the ship of dreams. And it was, it really was."
"Ever fart and sneeze at the same time?"
Pulp Fiction begins with an accurate description on what the word Pulp means
"3 billion human lives ended on August 29th, 1997. The survivors of the nuclear fire called the war Judgement Day."
"I was 12 going on 13 the first time I saw a dead human being."
"Rosebud..."
*"Titanic was the ship of dreams. And it was, it really was."*
TITANIC doesn't begin like that. That's already, like, 20 minutes into the film, when it goes to flashback.
And the Bee Movie started with,
"According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway. Because bees don't care what humans think is impossible."
*_Definitely_* no difference.
I haven't even seen this movie and based on these few clips, I officially declare it to be in my top 5 worst movies of all time.
Why does this movie exist?! Who greenlit this? Who was like "yeah let's make a movie about 3 kids and a prostitute!"
What were they drinking AND smoking!?!
Probably one of the same people who greenlit North.
Same with good boys
@@millenniumf1138 you mean Norm of the North™
You take Pretty Woman and you put kids in it there you go plus it was the 90s who gave a fuck LOL
The film currently holds an 8% rating on Rotten Tomatoes based on 38 reviews. It received a Razzie Award nomination for Worst Screenplay, but lost to The Flintstones.
Joshua Blitzer At least the Flinchstones look like the cartoons.
Nido Hime at least the flintstones didn't make pebbles and bam bam into perverts
how did it loose to the Flintstones the flintstones movie was light hearted and similar to the cartoon it was ok but how is that worse than this
Well Milk Money and the Flintstones were both nominated in the Razzie Awards for the Worst screenplay and the Flintstones won the Razzie.
HA!!!
THE FLINTSTONES WON AND MILK MONEY LOST!!!!!
YYAAAHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Isn't it a bit weird how The Nostalgia Critic's original reviews are now nostalgic themselves?
except I don't remember this review lol
Huh,wouldn't it be interesting if that caused a temporal paradox somehow? Just musing...
You now what your right. And I love that
Kinda wish he'd return to this style of review. As good as the new ones are, I've always thought they had too much going on in them.
Grim Reaper right it’s the room and his commentary that is the pull for me
Once they start putting skits in
I have to say, of all of pop cultures many inexplicable fixations, the "hooker with a heart of gold" has to be one of the weirdest ones. I wonder if actual prostitutes in the late 80's and early 90's got annoyed by Johns from small towns expecting them to be whimsical, child-like manic pixie dream girls.
Andrea Greenwood most of them are cynical, misanthropic, and dead inside haha
I'm going to be thinking of this all day now
@@misskippieee That does not bode well for my cousin.
Having known a a few prostitutes in my life, they’re really just people guys. They don’t have any predetermined traits.
^^^ What Burning Sexuality said. Unless forced into the field, sex workers are perfectly happy and normal people.
5:56 That taxi driver should have pulled over and called the police.
joyunicycle could not agree more
Or droven straight to the police station.
Anything goes in "The City" apparently
(according to Wikipedia, all the city shots were in Pittsburgh)
I think he was like “I ain’t getting payed enough for this crap so this ain’t none of my business or Concern”.
@@alexjewett7455 You’re right. He likely wouldn’t have had a cell phone. But also, if he had pulled over, they would just run away.
you know what's even creepier
it was directed by a 65 year old man
Matteo Rizvi OMFG that's abhorrent.
Matteo Rizvi it was directed by Herbert the pervert his favorite scene is when the kids pull their shirts up
g br A good flashback would be Glen Quagmire hiring a prostitute for his dad as a kid.
what age would a human have to be for it NOT to be incredibly creepy?
Matteo Rizvi what😐😂
“Boy for a prostitute you’d think she’d be a little bit more discreet about ID-ing her clients”
EXACTLY! Especially considering the fact that his wife is right next to him!
@@bttffreak4 or she enjoys making people uncomfortable
And his kid knows she’s a hooker. That’s even worse!
"this... is a woman"
*nick cage's face* you don't say?
“This is a woman”
“Dear God...”
“But wait there’s more!”
“No!”
*Picard Facepalm*
Lol
Anyone else accept it as fact that this is the prequel to full house now?
Samini the B yes
new headcanon accepted.
So that’s what happened to the mother she died of an STD because she was a hooker
And the origin story of Danny from The Room.
You mean it wasn't the prequel?
"That was bad. Very, very bad."
That line being said three times makes me feel stupid and awkward
You could say it makes you feel bad. Very, very bad.
+Caleb Jaaniste 😒
It um the girls lesbian obviously
+@@vanslickereviews8435 What?!
should've played Michael Jackson's bad
"You feel that uncomfortable tingling in the back of your neck that tells you you're going to Hell for watching this? …That means you're still human-hold onto that."
Thanks, Critic.
This movie is so filthy, even the Animaniacs would be ashamed of it.
Animaniacs at least had charm when they made dirty jokes.
klimmr3021 Animaniacs was actually charming with its dirty jokes
At least Animaniacs knew just how far they could go with it.
Outside a movie theatre
Blonde chick: That movie was bad
Brunette: Yeah, very very bad.
I don't get it
@@donovanlee4745 This movie is supposed to a “semi-family friendly” movie. It is not.
@@compitalc that’s not really helping things.
To everyone who doesn't get the joke, it's a reference to a line in the movie (or review), apparently.
9:54 Give the little girl some credit. Maybe she was just trying to come up with the perfect tagline for this movie?
Imagine how confused the kids were.
No, seriously, imagine how confused all the kids were. Imagine how often the adults making this film had to say "Lol it's adult humor you'll understand later" to all the kids.
I was a kid when this came out and saw it in theaters..(Around the same age as the kids in the movie I would say) Did not know what the hell to make of it, I was 12 and just in awe, I am so glad this kind of shit is getting looked at now more because it was WRONG!
Kid 20 years later to psychiatrist: Well.... there was that one year when I met that producer.... we were hanging out and he took me to meet a hooker, and also [insert plot of movie].... but that couldn't have anything to do with any personality or mental issues I might have today, right? I mean, it was a movie after all! It's not like a kid could be confused by something like that right? No kid's ever been confused after working the set of an inappropriate film, right?
Doctor:...... rrrright......
@@mugsmctuggs1318 its weird but I also think it's funny how peeps get bent out of shape over this but have no problem with Jason killing dozens of underage teenagers in every Friday the 13th movie haha
@@arizonaFIREent Ehh don't think they were underage for one, and two.. Friday the 13th is a horror movie anyway and not about sex or in this case... kids.
I think it was pushing this message that if your a teenager doing "bad" things like drinking, having sex, smoking weed that Jason is going to get you kind of thing. Also it's not like Jason ONLY killed teens, he killed anyone that got in his way, he's like JAWS.
@@arizonaFIREent yeah not like that movie was made for adults or anything and it's not like one of the biggest problems with milk money is that it tried to market itself as a semi-wholesome family comedy
"I am a person. I'm a human being."
How do you NOT cut to "...and my name is Anakin!" after that?
"And I'm Javert!"
“Lisa loves you too as a person as a human bean as a friend”
@@mrcritical6751 Oh, hi Mark.
That FULL HOUSE reference was priceless!!!!!
Oh yeah.
Yes! And the Malcolm McDowell’s Clockwork Orange narration while he was on the hunt for V.
Only thing missing was mentioning that there was a Randy Newman song playing while a prostitute is wandering through Pleasantville... I guess it was more fitting than Pour Some Sugar On Me or Cherry Pie 🤣
Fuzzy Puppet no,it wasn’t,it’s just plain mean!
wait till you see Mamma Mia review
Awesome!
I felt unclean, even watching a review of this movie. lol
Same
I feel like I need to shower in bleech after watching this... Whatever you call it.
At the moment we’re the boys were in her apartment, all I could think of was “This is it, Beavis. We’re finally gonna score.”
Thank God!
Boioioioing
The premise sounds like a plot of a season 1 South Park episode.
Definitely :)
God this movies is creepy as fuck. I felt uncomfortable basicly 100% of the time. Who though this was a good idea?! >.
John Mattson and Paramount Pictures.
Yup just yup. God forgive me
BloggingLP If you think this is bad, try watching "My father the Hero" !
Hollywood such as Foodfight was a "good" idea
I thought it was kids saving woman from a prostitie thingy
I thought this movie was about a cow millionaire
That would've been a better movie! ;3;
cupcake
Sam McGuire that would've made a better movie
***** even for the 90s it's messed up. It would've been hated there
Sam McGuire it would be better but still not a movie
I wonder how many families walked out on the first 10 minutes of the movie
Rida yakoubi all of them
You'd be surprised how many families stayed after the first 10 minutes of Deadpool
A. Nonymous That was R tho, they were kind of expecting it there. This was PG
A. Nonymous what idiots bring their whole family to Deadpool that's rated R?
Carl, do you want me to say "a few" or do I go and find news articles about parents taking their 8 year old to see it?
...this movie... THIS MOVIE HAS A SUBPLOT?!?!??!
I'm actually offended by that.
I read this comment in SID 6.7s voice 😆😆😆😆😆😆
this movie was filmed in the town i grew up in and there are posters for it in a bunch of places so many people are proud, even my dad was proud because his car can be seen in the chase seen
"WELL YES, THIS IS A WOMAN"
Best part! XD
That is bad...
That is very,
Very,
B A D
More then one way
What was the elevator pitch for this movie? "It's basically a mix between Pretty Woman and Porky's, but with prepubescent boys in the lead."
The taxi driver at 5:56 is the best part of the movie.
This concept could've worked if it was a south park episode
It was. Jimmy hired a hooker and saved her from her pimp.
please tell me other such movies with a story like Milk Money
If this was an adult animated movie, then yes. Yes the concept would’ve worked.
Indeed.
This concept was kinda used for a South Park episode
I KNEW there was going to be a Danny from "the room" reference at some point!
Yeah, and I actually saw that movie weeks ago. Now, I got the reference.
Denny, not Danny.
Milk Money : One of the many films that prove you can sell very idiotic ideas and somehow Hollywood will fund it .
The awkward level is over 9000 🌡
machiv21 The Akward is E X T R A T H I C C
Omg
MAY BE EVEN MORE 😯!!!!!
Wait, is that picture of star and Marco real?
OVER 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
"Maybe this was made in France as an independent film with a hard-R." Cue in "Cuties"
You think this was inappropriate, you should weigh in on that film on Netflix
So they FLASHED the audience.
This movie makes me feel dirty. Hell, this might be the first time I'm actually finishing this review.
DarkHero Gamer Yeah, I left halfway through and came back again.
I started watching this 4 months ago
Should have called this movie: The Room Origins: Denny
That would've actually been funny
Oh Sweet heavenly God No!!!!
Gross, not funny.
someone made this
someone put time and energy into making this
good lord
and made a lot of money
The fucking guy who wrote it was paid 1.5 million dollars....well at least he didnt wrote anything else after free willy 2 and 3.
@@a54109 - The film bombed at the box office. A $20m budget (not counting prints/advertising) with an $18.5m (est.) global take.
Someone? Worse. *Someones*
Writers, producers, directors, editors, set and costume designers, composers, and so many actors
And wanna hear the funniest part?
There were lawsuits over the rights to the script. People fought over the right to make this movie
@@nuclearcatpotatoe3714 jesus christ Hollywood is truly unforgivable
This movie should have been called What the fuck were they thinking?
That clockwork orange reference killed me
Ewwww.....I guess its a family picture though. Thanks PG
Purple Girl A FAMILY Picture!
Purple Girl This film was rated PG-13, not PG.
PG? Wut dat
PG-13
And they aren't even pervy teens, they're fucking kids! Jesus, this movie.
Guy Incognito it's sad that American Pie can be considered more sane than this
At least in American Pie most of the characters were of legal age or older!
they already had porn so id go for touching them imo, i offered a girl $50 to see her tits as a kid, wasn't going to really do it but for the lulz. seems like they wanted to tell an adult story but watered it down for whatever reason.
I remember being their age and having all the thoughts that came with it, *BUT* I had the basic common sense to not go up to a random woman on the street and ask them if they were a prostitute (4:44 I'd smack them too). "I want to be a gentleman," says the little shit going up to random women on the street and asking them if they're prostitutes.
11:22-12:46
What the hell is up with that scene?
I blame both actually (the boys and Melanie Griffith *especially* her).
I lost it at prostitots
I sneezed at that part!
christ how tf was this movie allowed to be made... isnt there some law against this..
How DID it get made?
Like I can barely even imagine myself being able to clean up the pitch idea to a boardroom, but imagine having to send a whole crew out to work on it publicly, taking interviews WITH KIDS! It would be like letting a kid disarm a landmine, the topic is already as taboo as it is, combine that with the kid's clumsiness, any of the crew's laziness(behind the scenes) and any random asshole that just happens to stumble on the set at some random moment, someone is bound to just simply say "hey I'm working/stepped onto a set for a movie about kids paying for a hooker" lol
Like just think about from the angle of how did it get all the way through without being shut down, all it would take is a kid says "some movie director wants me to play with a hooker for a movie I'm in", and any sane person's knee-jerk reaction would be getting police or some investigator involved.
Hollywood directors are freaks and satanists how can you not know this
_[Boys help her smoke]_
_[She asks to see their chests]_
*NC:* Awkward levels rising...
*Me:* Oh, no, no, I support this. She's teaching them that it's not okay to -
*Her:* Okay, you're not hairy enough to be dangerous.
*Me:* FFS
..I need to start watching the videos before coming to the comments....
If it had been about the stripper teaching the kids that she’s a person not an object that would’ve been fine heck you could still easily get her to Ed Harris’s house for the movies second and third act by having her bring the kids back to her place and all the crap with the mob happens before she has the chance to call the cops to bring the kids home
FFS? what does that mean?
I honestly half-expected Chris Hansen to walk in from off camera at some point holding a fucking chatlog lmao.
18:12 nostalgia critic: "it is wet, smelly and full of algae, so it seems just as logical"
Applause for that. Where did you get your ideas dude. This is hilarious.
The smaller blonde boy looks identical to Kazoo Kid
I would love to hear a Real Thoughts on this.
I got a feeling MI5 are going to knock on my door at any second now.
This whole movie just feels wrong. Like, I almost couldn't finish watching this review. I'm fine with gory, disturbing, horrifying shit in movies, sure, that's fine, but this just feels WRONG. Just every aspect of it.
I guess I'm not disgusted by the content, I'm just disgusted that anyone thought this was a good idea.
I think that what director was trying to accomplish was to resent sexuality from innocent child's point of view. A ballsy concept, just very poorly and creepily executed. I agree on that.
Hudson Williams You think Freddy Vrs Jason was scary ?
Perris Avallon same
"Im fine with twisted horror with underage teens getting killed by Freddy and Jason but twisted pervy kids is tooo much for me" hahahaha
A FEEEEEAMUHLY PICTCHAH
12:55 might be my favorite nostalgia critic delivery of all time.
NC: "Maybe if this was made independently in France with a hard R, something could've come from this."
Anakin: *looks at Netflix's Cuties poster* "Apparently not."
Damn
Milk Money: The spiritual predecessor of "Good Boys."
Another disgusting movie
Do the Cheaper by the Dozen remake lol
Brian Rosado That's a great idea.
Brian Rosado Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Brian Rosado Yes!
You need to contact his official website for that, this channel is currently re-uploading old vids.
You posted this 30 seconds ago ( :
You ever sneeze and fart at the same time?.
yes
Goku Luffy Did you ever sneeze, fart, burp AND yawn at the same time?
Troll Method: 13x13 Lennyface, Child Abuse Reports
I knew a guy that tried.....
he forgot to yawn
Goku Luffy Great movie lines
"They call me Mr. Tibbs."
"Im ready for my close up now"
"You ever sneeze and fart at the same time"
Truly great lines
Goku Luffy My boyfriend gave me a really squeezy hug and he squeezed me so tight that I farted.
Comic Dude Ikr
Fun fact: There is a Hentai movie of the same name
That may be a fact, but it is by no means fun.
maybe not fun for you
Ryuseii time for some research
*We have such sights to show you!*
The dub is hilarious
To be honest, his movie had potential. When I heard the synopsis of it, 3 kids befriend a prostitute, I was like "that sounds so rediculous, it might be good", but unfortunately, it wasn't.
Just watch American pie or pretty women
Rewriting this:
Three boys go into the city for fun after they earn a lot of money doing odd jobs, and through a weird series of events, end up befriending a woman with a heart of gold forced to work as a prostitute. The boys don't know this, and assume she's a businesswoman or something. Make the kids more innocent, without all of the awkward sex jokes and stuff. The woman ends up meeting the father and starts to fall in love with them. But when her old boss is after her, the boys won't let her get hurt, despite learning about the line of work she's in.
It's not perfect, but Lord knows it's better than the film we GOT.
Boomer
No..... It didn't at all.
@@bryanegelhoffsanimationtec257 That actually sounds better.
I lost my shit when Critic played the Full House clip XD
That was so cringy it hurts.
I cringed too hard and now I'm a black hole. All are welcome in my infinitely dense singularity.
And what will you name your Black Hole?
You are named Dank Meme, mate.
I'm going to hell by the simple fact of knowing this film exists
I'm gonna need to do a few Hail Mary's for this.
I feel like that too.
Giggity
This sounds like the plot of a South Park episode not a kids movie!
Maybie It Is The Origin Of Full House
HAHHA - BUT I ACTUALLY LOVE THIS MOVIE. IRL
itsAlexClark omg i love your videos. i dident know you liked the nostalgic critic
itsAlexClark What are you doing here??? xd
I didn't know you watched this guy
Lol, the clean kid kinda looks like Adam(SomeThingElseYT).
Oh hi Alex
I thought I lost my math test because I couldn't find it in my binder and I got super stressed, then I looked up and it was on my desk. that made me really awake and I knew I wouldn't fall asleep, so I watched this. thank you for calming me nostalgia critic
"A DISNEY PICTURE."
(Shudders)
Actually it’s from Paramount.
SPARKLE SPARKLE SPARKLE
*HELLO!? MY SHELLPHONE IS NOT WORKING PROPERLY! HELLO?!*
If you have parental issues, call 118-292-helpmeimarapist.
That's 123-280-STICKITINFORPAPASHREK.
Flying Scott F*CK YEAH, SPARKLE, SPARKLE, SPARKLE!!!!!
5:38, that part made me laugh so hard the first time I watched this.
"That means your still human. Hold onto that."
the beggening of this movie is like a stab in the heart and every second after is a grain of salt being put in it
That “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” reference was funny and perfect.
Not saying the movie executed this right, but I don't think people understand the intent of this movie. It's not trying to portray explicit child sexual conduct, but rather serve as a commentary on a time when we were children and found out about sex for the first time, and the hijinks that ensued. Unless you've lived under a rock, there was a moment in your life when you were taught sex through sex ed or your parents, and you and your friends snuck adult material you weren't supposed to look at, because it was something that made you feel cool, edgy, and grown up. It's supposed to remind you of that awkward moment in your preteen phase, rather than being explicit child sexual conduct.
Again, not saying the movie executed this right, but I believe that was the intention of this movie.
I do not remember movies in the mid 1990's as being this twisted. Thanks Nostalgia Critic, now I have new material for therapy.
Why is this a family film?
E miester 12 because it is PG 13
It was the 90s. People were still on their 80s cocaine binge, back then.
@@alanbrizan please tell me other such movies with a story like Milk Money whit PG 13
I watched this movie when I was young and I have been searching for it for years. Yes, it was a terrible movie but it stuck out in my mind. Much like a lot of extremely obscure and strange movies, I tend to remembered it because it was weird.
Wait, wait, wait why would you slap a little kid? That seems kind of awful.
Wouldn't a sane adult woman be like "Hey, where are your parents? Are you lost?"
Am I missing something?
Jennifer Thimell
In the olden days, an adult wasn't expected to treat a child like a fragile house of cards that would collapse from even the slightest breeze.
Or some shit like that, the fuck do I know?
+Lord Apex asking a group of obviously confused kids if they are lost is not treating them like they're fragile - it's making sure they don't get murdered
Cooltunesproductions Or in their case, mugged.
Cooltunesproductions
You heard that wooshing sound?
That was the joke flying by your head.
Lord Apex is right. I was about the age of these kids when this movie came out, and you better believe that if I spoke to a stranger the way those kids did I would have gotten slapped across the face by the woman and my own mother. These kids were not acting lost. They were acting like horrible little shits, and the woman responded appropriately.
I think the reason she made them lift their shirts over their heads was to make sure they didn't have wires on them. She's a prostitute so I suppose it makes sense, but if that's the case, the movie did not make that apparent enough.
I remember my aunt taking us to see this in theaters and us walking right out. Go figure.
Okay see that makes sense but the fact that she would even check instead of just rejecting children like a sane adult (hooker or otherwise) made me very very VERY concerned and she's not even real. DAMN YOU STUPID MOVIE!
I don't know, times we're tough in the 90's. Could she have really turned down the money? Gotta' put food on the table.
even during that time, i hardly see her being so desperate that she has to show her body to 3 children whose testicles haven't even dropped yet
youtube needs a cringe button.....and I'm late
Thank you for putting the idea that Milk Money is a prequel to Full House in my head! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!!!!
I never even noticed before this review.
During the "What's wrong with this scene" checklist, my favorite moment is Critic dubbing over the sassy-looking girl with, "Well, I'll be...Yes! yes it is."
people who made this movie is going to hell
James Selmon wasn't this movie made by Disney
...along with everyone who has seen this movie, anyone who has heard of this movie, and anybody who was within a mile of any theaters this movie was played in or the places the movie was developed.
James Selmon see you all there
you know for KIDS
13:06 that Christmas Vacation quote 😂😂😂
I'm legitimately surprised Melanie Griffith said yes to being in this. I honestly believed she was smarter than that. But Malcolm McDowall being in it? That doesn't surprise me at all! And that's a real shame.
He never says "no" to anything and is in a lot of crappy movies.
@@jonathanwright8025 Indeed. He did "Tank Girl" a year after this!
And then the makers of Cuties took a look at this movie, said “hold my beer,” and the rest was history...very, very bad history, if you will.
EDIT
19:02: Hello Doug, I’m from the future, and I’m here to say, be careful what you wish for.
8:51; Best part of the review.
You're right. This movie should have never been made, yet this review was also kind of entertaining.
Same
Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy
At least their 2 sex jokes were restrained
pipboy344 Oh gawd no!!!
IT'S THE PICTURES I'M WORRIED ABOUT!!!
butter toast
But it's an R-rated live action film.
Here is Roger Ebert's review of the film:
Sometimes they produce a documentary about the making of a movie. You know, like "The Making of 'Jurassic Park.' " I would give anything within reason to see "The Making of 'Milk Money' " -- or, for that matter, to simply listen to recordings of the executive story conferences.
In fact, it's funny...as I sit here in a late summer reverie...why, it's almost as if I can hear the voices now...
Studio Executive A: So what's the premise?
Studio Executive B: We got kids, we got sex, we got romance, all in a family picture.
A: Can't have sex in a family picture.
B: Depends. Nobody actually has sex. Sure, you got a hooker, but she's a good hooker, with a heart of gold. Melanie Griffith is gonna play her.
A: Kind of like "Working Girl Turns a Trick?"
B: Cuter than that. We start with three 12-year-old boys. They're going crazy because they've never seen a naked woman.
A: Whatsamatter? They poor? Don't they have cable?
B: Ever hear of the concept of "the willing suspension of disbelief"? I know the audience will find it hard to believe, but it's true: These kids don't know what a naked woman looks like. So they pool their women on the street if they're hookers, until they find one who is. That's Melanie.
A: How much they got?
B: More'n a hundred bucks. So she shows them.
A: She strips? This has got to get a PG-13 rating.
B: Like I say, it's a family movie. She only strips to the waist. And we see her from the back.
A: (Slightly disappointed) Oh. So that's 10 minutes. Where do we go from here?
B:There's more to the plot. Melanie is in danger from the evil gangsters who control prostitution, and after her pimp is killed they think she has all of his money. So she needs to hide out. And one of the kids thinks she'd make an ideal wife for his dad. So he invites her out to the suburbs.
A: The dad's not married?
B: We got a nice touch here. The kid's mother died in childbirth. So all his life he's had this single father. He wants to fix up Dad with the hooker, see? He thinks she'd make a great mom.
A: So we get a Meet Cute?
B: Yeah. See, the kid moves the hooker into his tree house, and then tells his dad that she's his buddy's math tutor.
A: What's she wearing?
B: A kind of clingy minidress with a low neckline. High heels.
A: Is that what a math tutor wears?
B: You ever see "My Tutor"? "Private Lessons"?
A: You got a point. So dad doesn't catch on.
B: Naw. He falls for her. Also, this is a nice angle: He's a science teacher who is fighting to save the wetlands near the school from an evil developer who wants to pave it and turn it into a shopping center. Dad is played by Ed Harris.
A: (Nods approvingly) Ecology. Very good.
B: So the hooker is in the tree house, Dad thinks she's a math tutor, and meanwhile the gangster is cruising the streets of the suburb with another hooker, looking for her. Dad is fighting against the encroachment of the wetlands and finally chains himself to his automobile so the bulldozers can't come in. And we throw in some of those cute conversations where one person means one thing and another person means something else. You know, so that all of the people in the town know she's a hooker except for Dad, who takes her out to eat and scandalizes your standard table of gossiping local biddies.
A: This is nice, this is original.
B: We put in some nice Norman Rockwell touches. Like, the way the kid communicates between his bedroom and the hooker in the tree house is with one of those old tin-can telephones? You know, where you attach two cans with a string?
A: I was never able to get one of those to work when I was a kid.
B:Neither was I. But don't worry. No kid today has ever seen one before, so they won't know. Today's kids use cellular phones and beepers.
A: Good point.
B: Then we get the big climax.
A: What happens?
B: I don't want to spoil it for you, but let's just say the gangster doesn't get what he wants, and true love saves the day.
A: What about the wetlands?
B: The wetlands? Let me just say, from the point of view of the ultimate significance of this picture, the message-for-the-family-audience sort of thing, the wetlands are what this picture is all about.
A: Saving the wetlands. A good cause.
B: Of course, you don't mention the wetlands in the ads.
A: No, you mention the hooker in the ads. So what's the picture called? "Pocket Money"?
B: No, it's called "Milk Money."
A: Why "Milk Money"?
B: You'll understand when you see the ads.
“Best Movie ever!”
President of the United States.
Stefan Sharak don't give him any ideas
Stefan Sharak Donald Trump would never say that!
Milk Money. A Family Picture
Mr. Critic could you please review the golden compass?
Now imagine this movie with the genders reversed
Lee Hearts Lol
Sometimes, I question why the hell our society hasn't gotten past this. If it's a woman, no one minds, but if it's a man, it's considered horrendous?
+Murcia doxial, Well, that was an unnecessary passiv agressiv answer. Also, the psychological effects of child molestion are offten way worse and take way longer to heal than any physical damage done.
yeah, thats very, very true, but in the male adult on little girl/boy events the physical sideeffects of the abuse tend to make the psychological sideeffects much more terrible because of how painful and invasive it is, i stand by my tone tho
Murcia doxial Well, excuse me! Both are equally awful. That last sentence was a bit disrespectful.
2:59 "Full House: Origins"
5:30 This movie should be about this woman going to jail.
please tell me other such movies with a story like Milk Money
Everybody who worked on this movie because of reasons other than contractual obligations is currently on a government watch list, I'm guessing anyway.