Go watch us pick the Hottest Kpop Male idols on Anna's channel!: ruclips.net/video/48Xw9Sdx_SI/видео.html Also more [Korea social issues] video linked at the end
Man that insult you while dating or trying to date you know that they are below you, so they try to bring you down to their level. They want you to feel like they are the only ones that would "tolerate" you, so you never leave them. That is the beginning of an abusive relationship. Major 🚩
I am Canadian and I lived in Korea in my early twenties. I am a very tall woman (185 cm) and naturally built very differently than a typical Korean woman. I used to go shopping and there were times the employees of the store took the clothing right out of my hands and shook their heads no. They couldn't speak English but wanted to communicate that I couldn't shop there. Obviously I knew the clothing would fit me differently but it would still fit. The first time it happened I was so shocked but eventually I got used to it and laughed it off. I can remember students writing me notes telling me that if I just lost a little weight I would get a boyfriend. I was engaged to be married at the time and I found it amusing. But it saddened me deeply for these young girls in my classes. They truly believed their weight and their appearance were the main factors in determining if a man would date them. These toxic beauty standards were deeply engrained in them already in elementary school. My pale skin, double eye lids, light hair and nose bridge were regularly the topic of conversation and jealousy amongst my Korean friends. The most beautiful, stunning Korean women would speak as if they were worthless, telling me how their husbands would tell them to improve. I can recall discussing it with my fiance... He could not believe a person would put down their significant other like that... We also couldn't believe the most beautiful women were being criticized. The beauty standards are unbelievably high. And the role of women is still strickly defined. My colleagues used to be very envious that my fiance cooked and cleaned, and how our relationship was so equal. I once had a Korean friend say to me... In Korea women do not give up their family name when they marry, but they give up everything else and become a part of their husband's family... Whereas in Canada I would likely give up my family name and take my husband's, but from their perspective, I would not have to give up anything else, I could still be my own person. That was very eye opening to hear that be said. I enjoy your channel. I think with the current Kpop craze Korea is now on a world stage. A part of my heart will always be in Korea. I love Korea and it's people very dearly. I have the utmost respect for it's rich culture and resilience as a nation. I am so proud to see Korean culture and entertainment filling the airways here in North America. But it has led a lot of admirers to see life in Korea through rose colored glasses. It is a far more conservative and old-fashioned society than North Americans are used to, and I think many would be very shocked to see the pressures placed on people... Particularly women.
That's so concerning and diaturbing, the fact the young women -and even men- are programmed to think like that since young age. How are they supossed to have a more open-minded view about beauty or grow a healthy mindset when they're being told since an early stage of their lives how they need to look to be "accepted"? Poor people 😔
Omg I had the same clothing experience when I lived in Korea. I’m not tall, but quite curvy and shopkeepers would literally at the door tell me that they had nothing for me. I’m 5ft 2in and 120 lbs. 🤦🏽♀️ The pressure is crazy.
Wow thank you for sharing your experiences, it was really interesting to read. Actually at first (when I was new in the kpop and kdrama world) I would think Korea is such a nice country to live in. But after watching all kinds of videos about the society and social issues I realised that I would definitely not fit in their society. Don't get me wrong I still think it is a beautiful country but I don't fantasise anymore about studying there.
@@NOTmyProblem... truly Korea was a lovely place to live. I adored my time there. The people, though blunt, are endearing and kind. Welcomed me into their homes and treated me with love and respect. It's just a different culture. Watching Korean dramas or the Kpop industry is not a true reflection of their society, in my opinion. In many ways (though obviously not always) it is a projection of their interpretation of Western entertainment and naturally, idealism. Entertainment is a fairytale on purpose, right? It's fun to get lost in it. 😊
I’m not trying to be a dick but anytime a white woman claims Asians are jealous of her western features is always a HUGE red flag. Lmaooooo drop ur ig/Facebook account so we can see if you are the envy of Jennies Kim’s and Suzy’s that you claim. You took all this time to write these paragraphs let’s see if ur not all talk. Drop ur accounts so we can see your “superior” visuals lmao🤡
The issue with the idol skinniness is that they have frail bodies and then wear pads to enhance their curves. So the skinny arms and legs are seen, but not the bra or hip pads so people have a skewed idea of what the human body looks like.
I am black and once dated an Italian Guy,he was really sweet but was also bizarre! Like one day he looked at me as we were having lunch and said "You are gaining weight and i think you should exercise", I didn't respond and then he proceeded to say "I really don't want you to get obese" and I was 58kg, after he said that I went "Show me your abs...I never complained about your pot belly, and flat ass,and what made you think you can comment on my weight?"....He was hurt but fuck it, he shouldn't have started it!!!
@@mimiandy1683 forget social norms honestly l. A lot of ppl have no empathy and need the energy they give out returned to them to understand how hurtful their words are, I’m a big believer in returning. The exact energy you get.
As a Korean who has been facing quite similar issues my whole life and has been shamed for vocalizing them, I'm finding so much comfort in this channel. Thank you so much!
You ladies are awesome for bringing this out to air. So important and it’s interesting to see how men takes their anger issue to women. As advance as Korea is these days their mentality is still ancient old for many people. It’s hard to change those teachings that’s been almost fossilized into their head but you guys are doing it. I love how smart you are about this and I know it’s much harder esp when you live in that environment hearing and witnessing everyday. You are the hope for many people out there. Keep talking about this and eventually it will. Get to someone, that how things change
My Australian bf would grab my spare tyre and squeeze it meaningfully. The first time he saw me naked he said you look better than I thought you would. (!!!!!)
If koreans were thinking straight thry wouldnt line up for plastic surgeries by the thousands per year, nor they would make fun or those who dont do them
Mine called me a pig and worse almost every single day. When i first met him he said he loved the way i looked.. then later when i moved to Korea he said i had to change to fit the korean standard. He cheated on me and later dumped me for a “skinny” girl. He even told me that even though my face was more beautiful than others that korean men would date an ugly skinny girl before dating a “chubby or fat girl” with a beautiful face. By the way, I think the standard is like if you are over 120 pounds you are considered chubby/fat. Their society is toxic because most of them don’t care about your personality only about looks, status, money.
@@rturtle5795 I'm sorry you experienced that, too! It's crazy because mine also showed no signs that he was like that at all. He didn't love bomb me either (another red flag). He even lived in America for 8 years (during and after university), so we could relate well. Then, after about 5 months his personality started to change.
@@molly139 Did your ex move back to Korea because the pressure for conformity is strong. but actually, mine did “ love bomb” me. I was naive then and i did not know what “ love bombing” was. In my previous relationships i never experienced that. I did not believe him at first though and i told him that i did not take him seriously but he chased me so hard and long that i decided maybe he really deserved a chance because maybe he really did like me to chase me so hard. ( yeah… big RED flag) He was really handsome and charming too. He had been abroad before and his English was good. Anyway, It was all lies. He became really abusive in the end especially when i caught him cheating. Btw, kudos to you for leaving and never looking back. I left mine the first time but he “love bombed” me again and i went back because i loved him. It was my mistake. “Love bombing” is FAKE!
I think the reasons why Koreans have more problems with hate comments is because they are more insecure. Culture wise western foreigners are taught to be individualistic and to be different and to stand out. However, in Korea culture teaches u to look the same, act the same, and to not stand out. Unfortunately, culture and values have changed over the years and has taught a lot of Koreans to bash those that are different. Culture and values have made a lot of Korean ppl materialistic and insecure imo.
@@littleshante This one is so so true, I'm a foreinger living in korea and see this daily, even small things I mention "oh it's really hard when the motorcycles drive on the sidewalk" are met with this sort of defensiveness that was shocking at first "yea but at least its not like india!" (and prejudice). it's strange for sure. I think they just have such deep pride and don't want to lose face in manifests like this.
@D M I’m Indian and I feel koreans have so many false prejudices against India. Not only India but many other countries which they think are “inferior” to them. And they don’t know anything about these countries. I feel like they just believe what is fed to them without ever questioning anything.
Yeah we culture is eastern culture and collectively bashing anybody who is even slightly different is a very toxic part of our culture unfortunately 😔 sometimes I get shocked when I read comments made by netizens, it sounds like it came out of a Wattpad fanfic where y/n is getting cyberbullied 😑
To answer to the military subject, I wanna say that the core concept of feminism is that every one has rights to choose the path of his/her own life regardless of his/her gender. Every one should has access to equal opportunity regardless of his/her gender. (or sexual orientation) Those who brings military subject in the argument don't know that gender equality does not mean that both girls and boys MUST go to military, but instead both boys and girls should have rights to choose freely if they want to go or not. Eventually gender equality/feminism is better for both men and women.
I disagree as feminism is about talking equality for women as men already enjoy previliged status , and equality means equality and raising voice for women ,as they are oppressed by men
@@EricaPapad that's coz women had always been kept away from military ,not just military but entire society is based on man made rules that oppress women
@@raheemwilliams9722 don't take credit of other men , you did not created anything , you are just using resources created by other human being , just like any women
Honestly, I don't know what I would do if I was born in a society like this 😥... I mean we all have some kind of pressure wherever we are, but this is a whole other level... huge respect to all my korean girls out there, you guys are heroes ..
I mean Korean guys have to literally have to be willing to die for their country, there is no forced military conscription for women. Can you imagine the kind of pressure THAT is? See the korean show D.P., it shows how difficult life in military is, and what happens to soldiers who run away
@@YumFit1 this is no competition between men and women and who has it harder, which they literally say in the video. Both have it hard in their own ways, we're just talking about the korean women right now there's no need to bring up another thing to put this one down.
@@YumFit1 but isn't it men who make military life difficult for other soldiers?? I mean majority of the people in military are men right? (that's what u said I am guessing).
@@cod4Rlpwhy should that matter it’s about RESPECT for the women NOT about whether they are “fat” or not. That is simply rude that you would ask such a question 😐
As a mother of two daughters in their 20's I can say that all of you are not told often enough how beautiful you are. Kelsey and Anna you are perfect the way you are!! Things in Korea will only change if people talk about it and two intelligent young women like yourselves can take the lead. Ignore all the hate. We appreciate your candor.
Whenever men complain about these kinds of problems, military, macho culture, etc tbh although I'm sympathetic to a point, at the end of the day they only have other men to blame. Take it up with your own sex, men made all of those rules, men created the standards we currently have, men are the reason for their own suffering and downfall women didn't do any of that... if they want these problems solved they need to take a look at themselves first.
I mean, I agree that men shouldn't be trying to pin these things on women, but most men are not "the reason for their own suffering and downfall" because most of them didn't create these problems, it was the men decades and even centuries before them. Should men today be blamed simply because they share the same sex? It's not like any of us chose to be women or men, so why should they bear the weight of the men before them? All this to say, there is just a looot of generalization in your comment, there's no need to look at the world as black and white. Men are not always the offenders and women are not always the victims. Also "take it up with your own sex"? I genuinely want to know what that means. It's not like all the men in the world can have a meeting and decide that toxic masculinity and all these other problems created by the patriarchy should be abolished. Maybe I'm just taking your comment too literally, I can't really tell when people are exaggerating or not over text, but whatever, even if u are, generalizing half of the world doesn't do much good for anyone. I think the best thing to do here is to not play the blame game, since that will get us nowhere, and instead try and find a way to educate people on these problems so that eventually they can be solved.
I remember when I wore leggings in Korea and my family in Korea were like …. 😶 my booty ain’t nothing like them girls in Korea LMFAOO. Ppl are blunt in Korea but also fucking passive, they’re only blunt about certain things and serious topics that are deep and needs to be talked about are never talked about .
@@KelseytheKorean fr. Just started watching you and I think we would be such good friends 😩👏 your vibe and ma vibe would mesh well❤️ You should do a video on KOREAN CHURCHES. Biggest scam and all that DRAMAAA
For real. All those witchhunt over some stupid scandals while talking about justice but they refuse to go after companies that are abusing their stars.
@@maman89 I think even if one particular company has a bad reputation, they will still get cash as long as their idols have good reputation and doing well.
I personally don't think so. Think of the Japanese. They also have this culture where a lot of their fictional media keeps going back to the high-school era with the Sailor-Fuku look. Heck, even Sailor Moon got huge with a big part thanks to this look. I think it's a sort of nostalgia for that era of life, and you have to understand that Korea has this hellish "education" system that essentially locks them in for studies like 15+ hours per day. So I think that kind of body is like this attraction thing where it harkens back to their high school years that they want to re-live because they didn't get to actually live those high school years. I think psychologically speaking that makes sense. And with Korea nowadays being so focused on the appearance, aging or looking in any way aged almost seem like this ultimate horror to these people lol. I get it, even though it doesn't seem right. I must say, actual pedophilia agenda and all that seem to be more of the West's problem. It's an open secret Hollywood has that for a loooong time now. But I won't lie, Korea has only been blowing up this past decades, so we don't really know, but I won't lie, it's probably not out of the picture that the pedo shit is in there too.
@LorienzoDeGarcia Pedo shit is everywhere in the world. I’m Japanese. I may be missing the point, but I can say Japanese fictional comics/anime etc. and these fanbases definitely have certain level of pedo or other kind of fetishism. Of course not all of the contents is pedo, there’s some contents that inspired from pure nostalgia, but there are so many pedo contents & pedo lovers out there. I don’t know where the pre-puberty skinniness in Korea comes from though. Idk but I heard Korean men tend to like small, cute, weak, adorable, protectable, and loyal women.
Than explain the rise of thick and curvy women . Or you truly believed men actually liked skinny boned models like the ones from the 90s??? Men like meat in their women!
@Wara-Chi Most men don't really care , we want a feminine looking woman, that means breast and a feminine body, skinny, thick it doesn't really matter , most women are attractive to most men, believe me
Cant believe that in this day and age, these strict K-beauty standards are still being imposed on women... and unfortunately, they are mostly for the wrong reason - "to look good in the eyes of others". I guess korean media also plays a major role. They have set these crazy standards among their kpop idols and actors. I hope to see the day that Korean society will be more accepting of a person's physical beauty regardless and to see the diversity and inclusivity in their media.
While Korean men have to willing to die for their country.....SMH this is your biggest problem? Also lookism exists for Korean men too, there were a lot of people saying that RM from BTS look ugly.
@@YumFit1 Geez.. while that is partly true about men... lookism for women are far worst than men and that has been going since the ancient times. What is so bad about asking for a little change in this age.. it may not look like a problem for some but in reality, it has been affecting people mentally.
@@itsgreysbee But the comparison is not fair, and not on equal grounds - American men do not have to forcefully serve in the military, and another thing, they are not expected to be the primary breadwinners as well, in fact a lot of children have absent fathers, and the number of single mother households is one of the highest in America, which has been empirically shown to be bad for raising children. If Korean men compulsorily have to serve in the military - AND THERE IS A VERY REAL THREAT OF DEATH THERE, BECAUSE NORTH KOREA is right there - AND have to compulsorily be the primary breadwinners for their family too, then the gender relations cannot be measured in a similar way as the west, BECAUSE WHAT IS THE BURDEN OF PERFORMANCE FOR KOREAN WOMEN then? The problematic part is that now when an asian country is finally successful, and due to kpop and kdramas it enters the cultural mainstream, now everyone thinks they have a right talk shit about Korean culture - AS if it isn't all the colonial wars due to western powers that hindered social progress in asia. I don't want to take sides here, I am a woman as well, but any type of discourse should be considerate of all sides.
@@YumFit1 rm wasn’t considered ugly, everyone would agree that he’s above average looking, he was just considered too different to be a kpop idol, because of his masculine mature look, when most other members were feminine and cute. Kpop standard =/= korean strandarts . but if he was a normal guy with a normal job, he would have no problem getting any woman he wants.
@@YumFit1 but it's u who is comparing... I mean the above comment was telling about the high beauty standards of korean That has nothing to do with military. Even though I agree that joining military is a pretty big deal but that has nothing to do with the issue we are discussing.
As long as there are girls like you in Korea who speak out about what they feel is wrong, there will eventually be change for the better. Keep it up. You are amazing young women.
A lot of this applies also to Russia unfortunately. Russian men expected from women to be skinny but with some curves, with their makeup and hair done, wearing feminine clothes. And if woman is not following the “rules” they will say she is not feminine enough or not taking care of herself. And feminist is still considered to be a bad word. I hope it all can change one day.
@james miles exactly...so many feminists these days have started molesting,raping, killing,torturing men... right?it's almost like they're treating men the same way men have always treated them....so scary right?
It would really interesting if you guys did a video about toxic masculinity in Korea. From a western pov because of Kpop, Korea seems to be breaking ground with toxic masculinity (guys with dyed hair, wearing make-up, being touchy with each other) but as you guys mentioned people still get hate for being "too feminine". So, what's people's opinions on feminine male idols? Or what is considered "too feminine"?
Yes, I second this. In my country, Philippines. When Filipinos know nothing about Kpop, when they hear anything about Korean idols they say they're gay just because they put on make-up. I would want to know their thoughts too.
That's the thing: it's literally just a non-Korean/non-East Asian pov. In Korea, Korean male idols are seen as perfectly masculine. Sure, not necessarily as masculine as it can get (on a spectrum), but definitely firmly within the confines of what is being deemed as perfectly appropriate. To them, the idea that they would be seen as feminine is totally absurd. Korean culture has recognized and idolized certain type of "gentle" male beauty (also known as kkonminam, or back in the day e.g. hwarang) for hundreds of years. It appears as acceptably masculine because it has only ever meant to be shown in contrast to what is expected of Korean women, NOT what is universally expected of women anywhere else. Korean males have had a LOT of space to express themselves, starting from hyper masculine soldier classes and ending up to beautiful and elegant, educated aristocratic class (which kpop idols emulate), and everything in between. As a contrast, women have been expected to fit into a ridiculously narrow standard of female beauty, where they are extremely tiny, frail, sweet and cute... and so, next to them, any Korean man, regardless of how beautiful and sweet he is himself, is going to look strikingly different. And that's enough. See, most gender role structures in any culture seek to create a clear distinction between men and women, and as long as their images are easily distinguished from each other, not much more needs to be done about it. I would argue that the opposite is true to where I come from (Finland), where women have a LOT of ways to express themselves, be very tomboyish, cut their hair short, become muscular and act tough, or of course be as frilly and silly, sweet and cutesy as they prefer. And in order to be distinguishable from us, Finnish men have to go to the extreme in that regard and act tough, loud and rough as all hell, grow beards and beer bellies or bodybuilder bodies and be super imposing. Anyway being touchy is just Korean culture and it has nothing to do with femininity either. It's just Koreans being extremely normal - in fact, their behavior should be the standard everywhere else too, and simply the fact that we non-Koreans associate it with femininity makes us sound just blatantly absurd.
@@luskaneseprince I would argue, yes Korean women don't have that "Butch" look and attitudes because LGBQ ideas aren't as prominent in Korea. Of course, one can look "masculine" and not be a lesbian but Korea is simply not at that level. Still, I see a larger range of Korean women gender expression even though it's not as varied as you say for Finland. For example, I've seen those grandmas who smoke in public drinking "makgoli and soju", playing "Hwato" (a gambling card game) and sitting down with their legs open. There's nothing "prim and proper" about them. Of course there's nothing wrong with what they do as men are often doing the same things. For lower classes and older generations I see greater expression.
As a korean woman living in Korea, I totally agree with everything that you said. And I think you are really brave to speak out about these subjects which are extremely controversial(which I don't even understand why) nowadays. So many things are great in Korea, but so many other things are the worst -- especially when you are female.
A lot of things are terrible for Korean men today too. In fact the situation is kinda reversed and there is a double standard in which men actually experience more day to day sexism in Korea. You need to look both sides, not just complain about yours, to have a constructive conversation. For example, Korean women complain about having to cook at husband’s family on Chuseok, but don’t acknowledge the fact that the men have to do the seven hour drive down.
@@thierrytecumseh734 You’re definitely missing the point here, where Korean women are facing literal death threats every day, social structual barriers barring so many things until even now, ranging from micro aggression to a level where one’s survival is at verge. There exists discrimination towards men in every country, obviously. However, what the creater of this video/Korean women are saying and focusing on HERE is the one towards women. Why approach this with a binary perspective? And gosh this comment was written almost 3 years ago😂
A bit off-topic but the term pre-puberty skinniness got me thinking. Where do you think this goal of looking very young in Korea or at least for certain demographics in Korea comes from? I feel like its very different from the US or Europe (can’t speak about other regions) where people want to look/act older or mature even when they are teenagers
I remember going with my mother in places like the supermarket. The cashier told her that the next customer (me) would present groceries. I was in high school, they thought I was in college. 6'2", 200 pounds.
@@DonnaBrutta2 Yeah. It’s kind of weird, especially in kpop how much is based on adults acting cute and immature, staying really skinny and then also wearing really revealing clothes. Makes you wonder if kpop companies are actively pandering to pedos
Youthfulness is considered attractive and ideal in most asian countries, but it’s super weird when the traits that some countries think are ‘attractive’ literally just describe a child, especially the childish personality part it irks me
@@Vannneeeesssssaaaa I actually cringe so hard when idols purposely act cutesy. I got second hand embarrassment. But acting cute is probably something that their company force them to do. To attract viewers.
Korean Beauty Standards is so high that it is impossible to keep up and usually unattainable. F*ck the standards. Every woman is beautiful in their own way.
I feel like I get why feminism has become so extreme in Korea. For those women who consider themselves feminists, they're probably going to such extreme lengths to not conform because the beauty standards are so extreme. They probably feel like it will take a complete rejection of beauty standards to combat the overwhelming societal pressure to look and behave "like a woman". Over time, both sides will (hopefully) compromise and find consensus in the middle. As competitive as Korean society often is, I hate the idea that women have to have makeup on just to appear normal.
👍 Honestly it’s just so absurd to be considered ‘extreme’ for bringing attention to facts like the ones mentioned in the video. I don’t wear makeup to my workplace, and I don’t grow my hair bc I don’t have to do so to PROVE I am female (it’s not like my hair is my sexual organ. Lol). Not conforming to the preposterous beauty standard DOES NOT make me extreme. It’s the society that is.
I remember Brazil going through a phase of great rejection of feminism, especially because of a group called "femem" who marched without clothes and sometimes because of radical feminism as well. Approximately 10 years have passed and today things have improved. I think religious fundamentalism is our biggest problem to advance further in certain debates. Hope things progress in Korea.
It is interesting to hear peoples more real experiences and issues so thank you as always for the content. Just to add to the toxic men topic, my most toxic (abusive) Swedish bf was similar but opposite. I weighed 42 kg at the time (160 tall) and he worked very hard at making me feel like damaged goods and "not woman enough" for being too skinny. We had a common friend that was more heavy and with that had more curves and he took every opportunity to compare us, saying things like "I actually liked her but because I promised my good friend to not hit on his crush I had to settle for you instead" calling me gross to touch because you could feel bones and such. Utter human trash. He cheated on me with her and it ended with me calling her to come get her bf because she could have him. The best decision I ever did. The danger with toxic men is that they go for local women until women get enough streetsmarts to detect the red flags and then they go for foreigners because then he can hide behind culture difference. No matter the country - watch out for the bad people. I'm so glad you met Nils, he is definitely one of the top notch ones! ^^
Good for you girl to call out on such a toxic bastard. I hope u r all right and dng fine. If any bastard speaks like that again, "hit em where it hurts". That'll shut their mouth.
I'm an older generation Korean American (40s) but I grew up in other countries (Chile, USA) now currently living in Korea. I heard about these things from other Koreans in the States, how much more exaggerated native Koreans are compared to overseas Koreans. I didn't think it would be that different because I have a lot of Koreans friends in the States, but after I came to Korea I found out how much more intense the cultural norms and nuances were. Everything in Korea is intense. Whatever you do you must do it better than everyone else, or at least on par but not less or you'll be called out. This harbors a culture of extreme competition and judgment. Sometimes i wonder how do Koreans relax at in this country and then I realized they do it through alcohol and idolatry; idolatry in the form of looks, material wealth and these days even health. At all times you always have to prove something in this country, how much you studied, how much weight you've lost, how much money you've acquired and save, how many investments you've done, there is no end.
I seriously think these videos should have Korean subtitles, so people there can get more info on the matter, at least to be aware that some things that are normal for them are not really okay. Great video btw! I love both of your content, they're always so insightful and your opinions are on point, so I really hope you keep collabing with each other 💜
What's sad is that Koreans don't realise how crazy their standards are until they leave the country and experience western culture. Everyone thinks extreme dieting and unrealistic beauty standards is okay and normal over there. Not that I'm saying that western culture doesn't have that same toxic mentality but alteast we're more self-aware and we can acc talk about it on platforms but if a Korean girl was to speak up and go against the grain she would be bullied for it.
40 kilos is 88 lb 😧 I've been there at 5'2 and that's unhealthy even if you're shorter. Yet he calls you fat for being above that. I'm 95 lbs currently and when I was in the 80's (lowest was 81) I'd literally faint from climbing a set of stairs. Taking a shower would exhaust me, how could you function day to day feeling weak and ill? The standards need to change. If some guy says that to you, you should tell them that they should be more ripped, and point out their flaws just to mess with them. 😋 Love your channel!
@@hannahboehm8483 even if it was 45 - that’s literally 99 pounds. I don’t know about you, but a lot of women have to be much higher than that in order to be healthy. For me, personally, I’m 5’9. If I was 99 pounds I wouldn’t even know how to function😳
On the subject of weight, people should stop focusing on the number when exercising/dieting. Instead of going I want to be Xkgs, look at your body and find the weight range you are happy and healthy at. For example 60kgs looks very different on different body shapes/heights. Some people look super skinny, some people look heathy and some look a little tubby 🤷♀️ It’s about finding the right balance for YOU and YOUR body not what everyone else is doing…
So true. It's also ridiculous to say people need to have a specific weight. Everyone is built different, different height and etc. Im almost 178cm and I would look like a skeleton with just 120 pounds like Wth. I don't risk my life to look good 🙄
I totally understand and agree as well, shaming someone on their beauty just by physical appearance is bad. I'm from India so beauty standards and having that perfect shape and all is just as toxic as in Korea. I had a korean gf and had a relationship over a year, I never once asked her to put on make up or dress up - legit just be yourself and doesn't matter how you look. But you know what I learnt, no matter how much support was given but the insane obsession with money and fair looks - drove the relationship down the drain. I admit I'm not fair skinned and rich but that doesn't give anyone an opening to delve into color-family-shaming somone. I do not understand craziness behind looking rich and just being fair skinned and having a white partner just so to look good in public, I mean you can't say that Koreans in foreign countries are different and open-minded - they're still the same. I'm not against Koreans or their culture or language but these little things is something I always find. Racism is simple as toxic and pure garbage.
Asians and the obsession of fair skin. I got tanned nowadays because work related stuff and everyone complains that I got tanned. I don't even mind lol.
How refreshing to hear some honesty. Wish more people were this honest about their society. We all have our issues, but it can't get better if we don't admit there's a problem.
Yeh A lot of this revolves around "conformity", in countries or cultures where society is fairly ethnically narrow there seems to be more pressure to conform. As we ethicnally and ractially mix this can raise issues, if the mixing moves ahead of the attitudes, there can be very real issues, particularly when there then becomes a mix if differing body types accompanied by a very narrow common body image. Extreme diet and body weight issues aside, the fact is there are various body types that have various healthy weight ranges. It is rediculous to expect a heavy framed person to be skinny, likewise some light framed people can afford to carry very little extra weight and maintain good health. I Think too in much of Asia and probably Korea there is very much a male domination/ male security problem, that revolves around the woman being smaller and weaker than the man, where in other countries there are men who find, big, strong, healthy women very desirable. In many european countries, particularly the viking countries, the big, strong, independent woman has been normalized for centuries. Can you imagine the typical Asian man dating a girl, significantly taller than him? A lot of this comes down to male confidence. I can't remember who said it, but one of the early women"s liberationists famously said, " If we want to be liberated, we must first liberate the man". or words to that effect.
Nah I disagree. Men are allowed have preferences toward skinny and petite women. It's not about male dominance. Men in Asia are influenced by the media that shows skinny women just like wlhow western men are influenced by their media that represents bigger women. If women are allowed to actively shame short men and say they only like tall men it's okay. But as soon as a man says they only like skinny women it's a problem? I don't think body shaming people is good but it is a very silly issue, most healthy minded people move on and not care. I think your looking into a very simple thing and making it seem more than it is.
Yup. We all know that insecure men can become control freaks because they are always afraid of not having power and looking inferior. The solution in Korea is to control how women look and behave.
You guys are so good..that you are throwing so much of light on the actual problems in your country, I really love watching you and I have seen such things in K-dramas but never expected that it actually happens in the Korean society . Great going gals!!
It's nice to see that younger people are recognising how crazy the standards are. This means they might not make their children go through the same pressure.
Kelsey ..u r not fat at all...u r so beautiful ....ur face is hella attractive and ur personality dude (chief kiss)...and yeah the confidence u show (muaaaahhhh)....
Seldom people/channel talk or discuss on weight issues, beauty standard and mental health as transparency as what you girls did here. Kudos. More on these topic please.
I'm a mexican woman living in Mexico and I find many similarities between Korean and Mexican "machismo" culture, that's why although I love kpop I will never ever romantize life in Korea cause I know the struggle.
I found it so interesting when you talked about how a lot of guys force their standards on other women. Like wow, do they think so highly of themselves that they believe that women exist for their pleasure? To look exactly how they prefer? That’s crazy to me. I would be laughed at if I did that to men. I just want to point out that the Obese2Beast guy was giving really bad advice because 1. Skinny people’s diets are not the standard of how people should eat, and 2. Any nutritionist worth their weight in silver will tell you to listen to your body and eat til you’re full. Then they would tell you foods that will make you feel more full while also balancing the nutrients you’re taking in. Like you’re not supposed to fight against your body, you need to work with your body
I enjoy watching these videos, even though I am a 38-year-old African-American woman, who doesn’t have any plans on vacationing/living in South Korea. I did send the link of the video to several people I know. They “love” the Korean culture, or, so they say. But I noticed that they’re relying on works of fiction as their sources. 😒
too many people, especially in asia are too afraid to say what's real. keep serving up the truth raw Kelsey! and this is coming from a north american asian guy of chinese descent. ever thought about being a rapper btw? haha. imagine you spitting facts on society on show me the money!
I Don't know why korean people like outer beauty more then inner beauty. My point of view inner beauty is more important. I am form Bangladesh & proud to be a Bangladeshi. Actually, Bangladeshi people aren’t like that. Most of the people in Bangladesh prefer personality more thn outer beauty Sry for my bad English 🙏
Why don't people understand feminism=equal rights. And also if someone decides to keep short hair and not use make up, that's completely their business. Nobody is obligated to use make up anyway.
Oh, they know feminism is about equality for human rights, but they hate it anyway. They're leaving comments as if they've been misled and given the wrong information (for example, "feminists want to control men" and the "feminists hate men" comments), but its fake. An attempt to spread misinformation about feminism and hate.
Is the definition of feminism different is Korea or something. Cause in American feminism is the fight for equal rights, like men and women get equal pay, equal work etc. Why is it so negative in Korea if all we want is to be treated to same
I think Korea is a great place to visit for like a holiday or vacation, but not a place to live in. Like just from how expensive the housing and f*cked up the korean society is, I don’t think I could ever survive living there, yet some people would fantasize about living in Korea just to find their oppa because of kpop and kdramas. I am not being hateful towards koreans and the country, but I just think they need to improve in some things like the education system and other social issues.
I always think it‘s absolutely absurd the „ideal weight“ that in promoted to women by Korean media. I see these below 50kg things for women who are like 1,65m and I‘m like: You do realise this is underweight, almost critically underweight, yes? People tend to forget then being underweight is more dangerous than being slightly overweight talking about health. And then I see comment of teenage girls thinking their are fat, because they are normal weight and it just breaks my heart.
Whoa, such an insight! I have grown up as an asian german girl in Germany. So the mindset there is similar to the swedish people. So, when i'm with my fellow asian people, i will hear mostly about how you should be in appearance (particularly older women). Luckily i had a mother who always told me i'm ok as i am and never pressured me how to be a girl/woman in a negative way.
We have the draft if the US but it’s only used if we need it. So far they prey on poor people and promise them free education for their lives basically. Many of them come back home disabled or with PTSD it’s very sad
I’ve lived through a lifetime of societal expectations of women. I have experienced and fought through many of the issues you discuss. I’m gratified to hear you boldly discussing these issues of disparity that women share in much /most of the world. Kelsey, FYI: my husband was Swedish and living in Sweden provided me with a healthier, more balanced role for women in society. I am still mourning my husband who passed away last year; seeing you and Nils in Sweden brought back so many happy memories for me. Im happy for you.
This is such a comforting video to hear you both talk about these topics openly. If any guy dates you and says to lose weight, wear makeup, or even tell you to wear certain clothes or whatnot, ditch them fast. In a relationship, you don't change for that other person, they accept you as you are, or nothing.
Girls, Am so glad you are exposing this double standards. Dont allow some insecure man to define who you are. If they want a barbie doll, they are welcome to it, but stop with the uneccesary body shaming of self confident women
What Anna said about Korean feminism is the exact image that Korean society made and framed on feminists living in Korea. So I 조심스럽게 suggest you that as a influential person it'd be lovely if you could be little more cautious when it comes to defining certain demographic. 연애도 안하고 남자면 싫어하는 페미니스트가 있는가하면 그렇지 않은 페미니스트가 있는건데, 마치 그 모습이 전부인냥 그리고 틀에 박아서 다른 사람들이 페미니즘 자체에 관심을 갖지 못하도록 한다고 생각해요. 항상 시원하고 깔끔하게 사이다 발언해주셔서 정리해주셔서 감사합니다!
Ladies. Thank you. Many many people need to see this video. It’s so genuine it’s so casual and comfortable. I feel so positive and okay. Okay as in normal. Yes I am okay and I am normal. Most videos these days make people hate their life or want to achieve unrealistic dream. At the end of the video they feel empty. This video made me feel so positive and comforted.
I think that it is not that korean feminists are extreme. At the start of the feminist movement, almost every country's media has initially labeled feminists as bra-bruning and men hating. It was 1970's for us and uk, but for countries like korea it is now. The korean media is to blame for feminists bad image which is why in korea the feminist movement is attracting bad people.
I think there's a weird balance, in the "different kinds of sexism" kind of way. Overall I think the sexism is way higher in Korea on the "gender role" spectrum. Like certain "roles" and behavior expected of men and women, and I agree that the West is usually further down the line of social progress on that point. But in others, I think Korea has the lead by at least as much. Like in personal safety, being able to go out alone late at night, or in overall "respect". If something like the Burning Sun scandal had happened in France? It would not even be CALLED a scandal, almost nobody would talk about it, half of those who did would actually defend the authors or blame the victims, and I'm pretty sure not a single person would have spent A DAY in prison.
Aren't you being a bit harsh to France though? They literally drugged women for foreign men to rape at the more aggressive spectrum. I have a hard time believing any decent person would think that is normal behaviour.
@@stillfangirlingtoday1468 I'd bet a kidney that a LOT of my fellow countrymen would argue there was not enough proof (even if there was), that context is half consent, etc. I'm harsh but the average consensus has been going downhill here for several years now. Several global organisations have currently ranked France toward the fascism spectrum, there's a huge spike in far right sentiment at every social stratum, and while a lot of it is expressed through racism, there's also a shitton of increased sexism compared to 10 years ago. I've seen and heard things that make me wanna puke.
@@desenquisse That is disappointing, I was led to believe France would be one of the more socially progressive countries. I guess conservative parties are indeed gaining traction globally. Thanks for keeping it real!
Hey Kelsey, I was wondering if you might do a video on the birth rate and demographic crisis in Korea, and how things are for your generation in regards to this topic. What the government is doing. Are you facing societal pressure to have kids? Etc etc I heard Korea has the lowest birthrate in the world.
Just found your channel, very interesting and refreshing! 나는 비디오를 좋아한다! 나는 한국 문화에 관심이 있습니다. Learning Korean and been attempting to cook the well known dishes 🙌🏼 Being Latino, Korean food might be the best 🤙🏼
This video was such a breath of fresh air. Its been 9 years since I was introduced to Korean culture from variety shows. Running man was the first one and I came sliding down the rabbit hole. But I always felt like these issues weren't talked about enough. I recently finished Kim Ji- young, Born 1982 and I remember crying so hard while reading and after finishing the book. It was not because I have never faced sexism in my country but it was because it was so familiar to me. I felt so sad thinking that systemic sexism is rooted so deep that in most cases people don't even realize something is wrong with the system they grew up in and they will have to change it. Proud to see you guys doing your part. More power to you girls. Love from Nepal 🇳🇵. Have an amazing week.❤❤
Girl *thank youu* for speaking the truth about feminism in Korea!! Recently with the whole An San debacle people were so surprised with Korean men's reactions and words, and I was just thinking to myself "if ya'll knew how feminism is perceived in Korea you wouldn't be surprised". I think conversations like these are so so important right now, especially with the rise of k-culture and increase in young foreign k-fans. I've noticed how on tiktok and youtube alot of Koreans will just gloss over this stuff and present a wholesome image of Korea. Which is understandable because that's what their audience wants to see, but it's also also knowingly misleading kids.
Have Military mandatory in Brazil too (for means), Me and a South Korean platoon went training in the Brazilian Amazon jugle when I was 18 and I was forced to join the army, my Korean friends were also forced to serve in the army.
Disclaimer: I am American and looking at these social issues in Korean "from the outside". Just stating my observations from RUclips and other media. I watched some street interview videos where random girls were asked if they thought they were fat and most of them said yes. Then the interviewers asked a bunch of guys if they liked skinny girls and the guys said they preferred healthy girls with a little " meat on their bones". After watching that, I wondered if the ideal body image being pushed on girls was just being pushed by the media. But after watching your video, it seems like the men are pushing that on girls, too. It makes me sad that healthy girls are being called fat.
Thanks for discussing these issues I really enjoyed hearing your discussion. I found the conversation very balanced and I thought it was great that you shared your personal stories. Hopefully the younger generation will bring about important changes to Korean society with regardless to gender equality and reducing the importance on superficiality. Hope you don't allow the haters to get you down!
I appreciate both your point of views and sharing your culture in both videos. I watch K-dramas and I never liked how they portrayed these "innocent" relationships etc. but good thing I have common sense to know, its just acting. They are not to be idolised. I love your country's language (am a language student) and culture and to me you are both beautiful ladies.
I think the reason why there’s less hateful English comments is because it’s acceptable to speak callously and bluntly (leaning on careless/rude) in daily life. In western culture, you speak for EFFICIENCY, to save time. So you say what you need to in order to get your message across FASTEST. Because of this, there’s not as much pressure to be well liked or socially acceptable. It’s like “if you have something to say, say it to my face” kind of attitude. But in Asian standards, the general consensus is that there is a /way/ to say things and behave in everyday life that allows you to remain socially palatable to the public. More of a “what you said is correct, but the way you said it wasn’t, so that makes your points invalid.” And the internet (because anonymity is an option) allows them to speak and behave how they normally would not due to societal expectations. Idk how accurate my assumption is, but I’m Asian American (was not born in the U.S.), and that’s what I’ve noticed from my incredibly conservative community and parents. Love your content btw!
I agree with you! I feel like it’s better to live in a society where you can freely speak your mind rather than living in one where most of the time you’re basically forced to filter what you say and bottle up emotions/feelings just to be accepted by conservative people.
I don’t know why I am just finding your channel now ! you have such great content ! Thanks for talking about this topic ! As a foreign girl living in South Korea, I find it really hard sometimes because of the obvious sexism. I sympathize a lot with Korea girls especially since they cannot even talk about it if they don’t want to receive backlash. this gender war that is currently going on needs to stop. I feel like it is mostly guys who are problematic because they don’t want girl to emancipate themselves. They still want their little comfort by having submissive women around them and indulge themselves in thinking that men are superior.
To be honest i was hesitant to click on this video but I'm glad i did. In the United States we had and still kinda have this feminism movement where its just full on hating men. Of course there are feminist that don't hate men but a large number of feminist here act entitled and malicious. The way you guys went about explaining the Korean perspective was really interesting and respectful to both genders. One thing though is I think its not about equality but equity. Men and women are different but they should both have the right resources to succeed. Thank you for sharing your experiences!! Great video!!!
Thanks for sharing your experiences with misogyny and sexism in South Korea. The issues with misogyny and sexism y'all face in South Korea are similar to what Asian women and girls face in other Asian communities as well (regardless of which country they reside in). Sad but not surprised to hear that anti-feminism thrives in South Korea since anti-feminism in asian communities has been an ongoing issue pointed out by numerous asian feminists in disapora communities (and probably in asian countries as well) for several years. The Asian manosphere is not a recent thing though. It has been thriving in asian countries and communities for several years. [JT Tran and the Asian PUA movement (which are similar to Donald Trump and the alt-right), Asian dudebros, MRAsians, Asian incels, Asian "nice" guys, and the Asian anti-affirmative-action movement (which is basically a cis straight asian male movement) are examples of this.]
Thank you for this Kelsey and Anna! I’m from Manila and as a person who follows Korean dramas and music, I’m shocked with how toxic “Knetz” are. This gives me more context.
I thoroughly enjoyed both videos about both of your ladies’ opinions on many Korean “taboo” topics. Sometimes living in America can feel like you’re in a bubble and have no idea about the kind of lives people live half a world away. I am very intrigued to hear you ladies talk about Feminism at least being a topic (even if the title has a negative connotation) in Korea. I’m not saying everyone in the world should be westernized but I do want us as humans to be considerate and respectful to one another, regardless of race, gender, and religion. That being said, here in America, men do (and even my own mother-who is only in her 50s) think that the glass ceiling doesn’t exist, that there isn’t a “pink tax”, that there isn’t wage discrimination. Even though we are “westernized”, we still have a long way to go here as well when it comes to equal rights. And same here, being a “feminist” has a negative meaning behind it as well. There are a lot of double standards still here as well. Women have been looked at as lesser than men for many millennia. I’m not sure when all will be equal. 😔
I had similar experiences albeit not in Korea but in east Asia, I was told that I was fat and for a long while I had very low self esteem. Yet in Europe once I was helping out my friends during her school project as a free model, a girl saw me and said something like “gosh im so jealous of your body shape.” Tbh Idk how those sexist n toxic comments mentioned in the video can still exit for this long and hopefully no girls will be harmed from them in the future. :/
OMG.. I came to know so many things from this beautiful discussion. I remember several years back one European model collapsed during some fashion show and died in hospital later. It was revealed she was on salad (tomato and cucumber only) for last 6 months- 1 yr to remain skinny (just like Korean male / female K-pop idols). One should remain healthy maintaining ideal BMR index. That's all. Ladies, looking forward to more such discussion from you.
As someone who live in asia all her life I do think that most people work out so they would be better looking. That's just the norm in my country. Everyone is obsessed with glow up transformation which includes slimming their body and making their skin lighter. Literally every glow up pictures and videos here are like that. Btw one sentence I hate the most is "How could you get a husband if you're like this?" or "Who's going to marry you if you're like this?" And the counter argument of this is usually "You will find a man who love you just the way you are" As if we females only exist to compete for men's attention and love and we're worthless if we don't get a man. In my country there's this thing about if a woman doesn't get married until she's like 30 something she's called old virgin which implies that she's that worthless that nobody wants her. I don't like the pressure of "getting a man" So what if nobody's gonna want us? It's not like we can't live happily without a man. It's just sad how young girls are obsessed with beauty just to get a boyfriend/husband and questioning themselves if they're good enough to get a man/to make a man wants them.
![What happened to Feminism in Korea?! [Analysis]](/img/1.gif)
Go watch us pick the Hottest Kpop Male idols on Anna's channel!: ruclips.net/video/48Xw9Sdx_SI/видео.html
Also more [Korea social issues] video linked at the end
I have no idea how old the 2 of you are. But you shouldn't worry about Guys. Really...as long as you're happy wgaf
OMG you both are soooo beautiful and u both have the best physic and colour,just ignore the fucking people who say bad to u
@@JonRiver9948 can korean chinese japanese girls stop fucking worshipping white guys? stop meeting up with them even if they beg to meet
lol so the kpop male idols are fat. hahahahaha double standard much?
Man that insult you while dating or trying to date you know that they are below you, so they try to bring you down to their level. They want you to feel like they are the only ones that would "tolerate" you, so you never leave them. That is the beginning of an abusive relationship. Major 🚩
Yes definitely RED FLAG
cancer relationship right there
Facts 👌🏽
First of all, women don't date guys who are below them else 70% guys would have not been singles
@@TaiwanLife2024 how is 70% of guys single but not women? Are that many woman dating each other or what?😂
I am Canadian and I lived in Korea in my early twenties. I am a very tall woman (185 cm) and naturally built very differently than a typical Korean woman. I used to go shopping and there were times the employees of the store took the clothing right out of my hands and shook their heads no. They couldn't speak English but wanted to communicate that I couldn't shop there. Obviously I knew the clothing would fit me differently but it would still fit. The first time it happened I was so shocked but eventually I got used to it and laughed it off. I can remember students writing me notes telling me that if I just lost a little weight I would get a boyfriend. I was engaged to be married at the time and I found it amusing. But it saddened me deeply for these young girls in my classes. They truly believed their weight and their appearance were the main factors in determining if a man would date them. These toxic beauty standards were deeply engrained in them already in elementary school. My pale skin, double eye lids, light hair and nose bridge were regularly the topic of conversation and jealousy amongst my Korean friends. The most beautiful, stunning Korean women would speak as if they were worthless, telling me how their husbands would tell them to improve. I can recall discussing it with my fiance... He could not believe a person would put down their significant other like that... We also couldn't believe the most beautiful women were being criticized. The beauty standards are unbelievably high. And the role of women is still strickly defined. My colleagues used to be very envious that my fiance cooked and cleaned, and how our relationship was so equal. I once had a Korean friend say to me... In Korea women do not give up their family name when they marry, but they give up everything else and become a part of their husband's family... Whereas in Canada I would likely give up my family name and take my husband's, but from their perspective, I would not have to give up anything else, I could still be my own person. That was very eye opening to hear that be said.
I enjoy your channel. I think with the current Kpop craze Korea is now on a world stage. A part of my heart will always be in Korea. I love Korea and it's people very dearly. I have the utmost respect for it's rich culture and resilience as a nation. I am so proud to see Korean culture and entertainment filling the airways here in North America. But it has led a lot of admirers to see life in Korea through rose colored glasses. It is a far more conservative and old-fashioned society than North Americans are used to, and I think many would be very shocked to see the pressures placed on people... Particularly women.
That's so concerning and diaturbing, the fact the young women -and even men- are programmed to think like that since young age. How are they supossed to have a more open-minded view about beauty or grow a healthy mindset when they're being told since an early stage of their lives how they need to look to be "accepted"? Poor people 😔
Omg I had the same clothing experience when I lived in Korea. I’m not tall, but quite curvy and shopkeepers would literally at the door tell me that they had nothing for me. I’m 5ft 2in and 120 lbs. 🤦🏽♀️ The pressure is crazy.
Wow thank you for sharing your experiences, it was really interesting to read. Actually at first (when I was new in the kpop and kdrama world) I would think Korea is such a nice country to live in. But after watching all kinds of videos about the society and social issues I realised that I would definitely not fit in their society. Don't get me wrong I still think it is a beautiful country but I don't fantasise anymore about studying there.
@@NOTmyProblem... truly Korea was a lovely place to live. I adored my time there. The people, though blunt, are endearing and kind. Welcomed me into their homes and treated me with love and respect. It's just a different culture. Watching Korean dramas or the Kpop industry is not a true reflection of their society, in my opinion. In many ways (though obviously not always) it is a projection of their interpretation of Western entertainment and naturally, idealism. Entertainment is a fairytale on purpose, right? It's fun to get lost in it. 😊
I’m not trying to be a dick but anytime a white woman claims Asians are jealous of her western features is always a HUGE red flag. Lmaooooo drop ur ig/Facebook account so we can see if you are the envy of Jennies Kim’s and Suzy’s that you claim. You took all this time to write these paragraphs let’s see if ur not all talk. Drop ur accounts so we can see your “superior” visuals lmao🤡
The issue with the idol skinniness is that they have frail bodies and then wear pads to enhance their curves. So the skinny arms and legs are seen, but not the bra or hip pads so people have a skewed idea of what the human body looks like.
This!! Nobody is talking about this
And it can really screw with your own body image
They really have pads!?
@@bmwjourdandunngoddess6024 not all of them, but a lot, yes. like for the hips for example.
can korean chinese japanese girls stop fucking worshipping white guys? stop meeting up with them even if they beg to meet
@@yonggeun4222 u fr looking like a clown, spamming this comment lmaooo
I am black and once dated an Italian Guy,he was really sweet but was also bizarre!
Like one day he looked at me as we were having lunch and said "You are gaining weight and i think you should exercise", I didn't respond and then he proceeded to say "I really don't want you to get obese" and I was 58kg, after he said that I went "Show me your abs...I never complained about your pot belly, and flat ass,and what made you think you can comment on my weight?"....He was hurt but fuck it, he shouldn't have started it!!!
😄😄😄😄😄
I know that it is socially acceptable to take the moral high-road, but sometimes, it feels wonderful to get dirty on the low road.
I love when women put toxic men in their place😩❤️🙌🏽
Good for you! For real, if they're finna have these standards then they need to uphold their own.
@@mimiandy1683 forget social norms honestly l. A lot of ppl have no empathy and need the energy they give out returned to them to understand how hurtful their words are, I’m a big believer in returning. The exact energy you get.
queen 👑
As a Korean who has been facing quite similar issues my whole life and has been shamed for vocalizing them, I'm finding so much comfort in this channel. Thank you so much!
I hope you are fine. More power to you🌸🤗
Hope you are doing well❤️
You ladies are awesome for bringing this out to air. So important and it’s interesting to see how men takes their anger issue to women. As advance as Korea is these days their mentality is still ancient old for many people. It’s hard to change those teachings that’s been almost fossilized into their head but you guys are doing it. I love how smart you are about this and I know it’s much harder esp when you live in that environment hearing and witnessing everyday. You are the hope for many people out there. Keep talking about this and eventually it will. Get to someone, that how things change
My Australian bf would grab my spare tyre and squeeze it meaningfully. The first time he saw me naked he said you look better than I thought you would. (!!!!!)
white guys are better than asian guys. white guys love curves.
If koreans were thinking straight thry wouldnt line up for plastic surgeries by the thousands per year, nor they would make fun or those who dont do them
Wow we talked through so many topics!
Next time, with a mukbang too? 😋
Yoo I’m so downn😻😻😻
@@KelseytheKorean Now you're gonna slurp noodles in front of a microphone...
The crazed ASMR madness continues...
I need ramen now thanks)
OMGGG YESS PLEASE!!!
Yes, please
My ex-boyfriend in Korea called me a pig twice. The second time I dumped him. Good to know I'm not alone...Also, I'm 5'2 and 118 pounds, so not fat!
Girl you’re perfect. Fuck him.
Glad you didn't tolerate him 😌 More power to you🤗
Mine called me a pig and worse almost every single day. When i first met him he said he loved the way i looked.. then later when i moved to Korea he said i had to change to fit the korean standard. He cheated on me and later dumped me for a “skinny” girl. He even told me that even though my face was more beautiful than others that korean men would date an ugly skinny girl before dating a “chubby or fat girl” with a beautiful face. By the way, I think the standard is like if you are over 120 pounds you are considered chubby/fat. Their society is toxic because most of them don’t care about your personality only about looks, status, money.
@@rturtle5795 I'm sorry you experienced that, too! It's crazy because mine also showed no signs that he was like that at all. He didn't love bomb me either (another red flag). He even lived in America for 8 years (during and after university), so we could relate well. Then, after about 5 months his personality started to change.
@@molly139 Did your ex move back to Korea because the pressure for conformity is strong. but actually, mine did “ love bomb” me. I was naive then and i did not know what “ love bombing” was. In my previous relationships i never experienced that. I did not believe him at first though and i told him that i did not take him seriously but he chased me so hard and long that i decided maybe he really deserved a chance because maybe he really did like me to chase me so hard. ( yeah… big RED flag) He was really handsome and charming too. He had been abroad before and his English was good. Anyway, It was all lies. He became really abusive in the end especially when i caught him cheating. Btw, kudos to you for leaving and never looking back. I left mine the first time but he “love bombed” me again and i went back because i loved him. It was my mistake. “Love bombing” is FAKE!
I think the reasons why Koreans have more problems with hate comments is because they are more insecure. Culture wise western foreigners are taught to be individualistic and to be different and to stand out. However, in Korea culture teaches u to look the same, act the same, and to not stand out. Unfortunately, culture and values have changed over the years and has taught a lot of Koreans to bash those that are different. Culture and values have made a lot of Korean ppl materialistic and insecure imo.
Yes, a lot of what I have seen is, people taking any valid criticism of Korea’s culture, systems or beliefs as a personal attack.
@@littleshante This one is so so true, I'm a foreinger living in korea and see this daily, even small things I mention "oh it's really hard when the motorcycles drive on the sidewalk" are met with this sort of defensiveness that was shocking at first "yea but at least its not like india!" (and prejudice). it's strange for sure. I think they just have such deep pride and don't want to lose face in manifests like this.
@D M I’m Indian and I feel koreans have so many false prejudices against India. Not only India but many other countries which they think are “inferior” to them. And they don’t know anything about these countries. I feel like they just believe what is fed to them without ever questioning anything.
Yeah we culture is eastern culture and collectively bashing anybody who is even slightly different is a very toxic part of our culture unfortunately 😔 sometimes I get shocked when I read comments made by netizens, it sounds like it came out of a Wattpad fanfic where y/n is getting cyberbullied 😑
This is extremely true
To answer to the military subject, I wanna say that the core concept of feminism is that every one has rights to choose the path of his/her own life regardless of his/her gender. Every one should has access to equal opportunity regardless of his/her gender. (or sexual orientation)
Those who brings military subject in the argument don't know that gender equality does not mean that both girls and boys MUST go to military, but instead both boys and girls should have rights to choose freely if they want to go or not. Eventually gender equality/feminism is better for both men and women.
I disagree as feminism is about talking equality for women as men already enjoy previliged status , and equality means equality and raising voice for women ,as they are oppressed by men
But being a feminist does not mean you cannot raise voice for other gender if you want , so feminism real purpose is to improve women life ,
@@EricaPapad that's coz women had always been kept away from military ,not just military but entire society is based on man made rules that oppress women
@UCclCXEnJwQ3fawYysAz9HbQ because men literally created everything u use in ur daily lives so they have a right to make the rules so shut the fuck up
@@raheemwilliams9722 don't take credit of other men , you did not created anything , you are just using resources created by other human being , just like any women
Korean guys:kelsey is dating white man cause we won't date her.
Kelsey literally ran away from yall 😭
Rightttt
Good for Kelsey, everything I heard of Korean men.... They sound like a handful.
@@AnaissN there is good and bad qualities of men in every culture
@@AnaissN So are men in your culture perfect?
Honestly, I don't know what I would do if I was born in a society like this 😥... I mean we all have some kind of pressure wherever we are, but this is a whole other level... huge respect to all my korean girls out there, you guys are heroes ..
OMG, YES!!
I mean Korean guys have to literally have to be willing to die for their country, there is no forced military conscription for women. Can you imagine the kind of pressure THAT is? See the korean show D.P., it shows how difficult life in military is, and what happens to soldiers who run away
@@YumFit1 this is no competition between men and women and who has it harder, which they literally say in the video. Both have it hard in their own ways, we're just talking about the korean women right now there's no need to bring up another thing to put this one down.
@@YumFit1 but isn't it men who make military life difficult for other soldiers?? I mean majority of the people in military are men right? (that's what u said I am guessing).
@@YumFit1 and who made it mandatory for men to join military?? (Where they have to literally die for their country) Was it women?
I had a boyfriend who told me that I needed to lose weight. I lost 168 pounds that day. I dumped him.
Good one. Way to go girl
but were you fat?
@@cod4Rlpwhy should that matter it’s about RESPECT for the women NOT about whether they are “fat” or not. That is simply rude that you would ask such a question 😐
Not kelsey the korean but kelsey the Truth Teller
Omg i like this one😂😂😂
It almost felt like sitting in the same room... listening to your conversation...cuz I don't talk that much... so, it was the perfect feeling..❤️❤️
That’s a cozy feeling for sure😍😍
@@KelseytheKorean yess❤️❤️
Same sister
As a mother of two daughters in their 20's I can say that all of you are not told often enough how beautiful you are. Kelsey and Anna you are perfect the way you are!! Things in Korea will only change if people talk about it and two intelligent young women like yourselves can take the lead. Ignore all the hate. We appreciate your candor.
With all due respect, I want to tell every woman in the world that we don’t need to be beautiful. We are whole without beauty.
Whenever men complain about these kinds of problems, military, macho culture, etc tbh although I'm sympathetic to a point, at the end of the day they only have other men to blame. Take it up with your own sex, men made all of those rules, men created the standards we currently have, men are the reason for their own suffering and downfall women didn't do any of that... if they want these problems solved they need to take a look at themselves first.
Yepp and they are too cowardly to take it out to each other and hold each other accountable instead they target women who they already deem sub human
AMEN.
It's like someone firing a gun at you and then saying, "but the recoil hurts me too!"
I mean, I agree that men shouldn't be trying to pin these things on women, but most men are not "the reason for their own suffering and downfall" because most of them didn't create these problems, it was the men decades and even centuries before them. Should men today be blamed simply because they share the same sex? It's not like any of us chose to be women or men, so why should they bear the weight of the men before them? All this to say, there is just a looot of generalization in your comment, there's no need to look at the world as black and white. Men are not always the offenders and women are not always the victims. Also "take it up with your own sex"? I genuinely want to know what that means. It's not like all the men in the world can have a meeting and decide that toxic masculinity and all these other problems created by the patriarchy should be abolished. Maybe I'm just taking your comment too literally, I can't really tell when people are exaggerating or not over text, but whatever, even if u are, generalizing half of the world doesn't do much good for anyone. I think the best thing to do here is to not play the blame game, since that will get us nowhere, and instead try and find a way to educate people on these problems so that eventually they can be solved.
Time for women to serve too then lol
I remember when I wore leggings in Korea and my family in Korea were like …. 😶 my booty ain’t nothing like them girls in Korea LMFAOO.
Ppl are blunt in Korea but also fucking passive, they’re only blunt about certain things and serious topics that are deep and needs to be talked about are never talked about .
What u say is so true actually
@@KelseytheKorean fr. Just started watching you and I think we would be such good friends 😩👏 your vibe and ma vibe would mesh well❤️
You should do a video on KOREAN CHURCHES. Biggest scam and all that DRAMAAA
For real. All those witchhunt over some stupid scandals while talking about justice but they refuse to go after companies that are abusing their stars.
That's true
@@maman89 I think even if one particular company has a bad reputation, they will still get cash as long as their idols have good reputation and doing well.
Pre -puberty skinniness is so problematic why are all the beauty standards for women lowkey rooted in p*dophelia??
Do we need to state the obvious out load? We know why.
I personally don't think so. Think of the Japanese. They also have this culture where a lot of their fictional media keeps going back to the high-school era with the Sailor-Fuku look. Heck, even Sailor Moon got huge with a big part thanks to this look. I think it's a sort of nostalgia for that era of life, and you have to understand that Korea has this hellish "education" system that essentially locks them in for studies like 15+ hours per day. So I think that kind of body is like this attraction thing where it harkens back to their high school years that they want to re-live because they didn't get to actually live those high school years. I think psychologically speaking that makes sense. And with Korea nowadays being so focused on the appearance, aging or looking in any way aged almost seem like this ultimate horror to these people lol.
I get it, even though it doesn't seem right. I must say, actual pedophilia agenda and all that seem to be more of the West's problem. It's an open secret Hollywood has that for a loooong time now. But I won't lie, Korea has only been blowing up this past decades, so we don't really know, but I won't lie, it's probably not out of the picture that the pedo shit is in there too.
@LorienzoDeGarcia
Pedo shit is everywhere in the world.
I’m Japanese. I may be missing the point, but I can say Japanese fictional comics/anime etc. and these fanbases definitely have certain level of pedo or other kind of fetishism. Of course not all of the contents is pedo, there’s some contents that inspired from pure nostalgia, but there are so many pedo contents & pedo lovers out there.
I don’t know where the pre-puberty skinniness in Korea comes from though. Idk but I heard Korean men tend to like small, cute, weak, adorable, protectable, and loyal women.
I feel like men all over the world think like that …Koreans just say it out loud
Factssss
Than explain the rise of thick and curvy women . Or you truly believed men actually liked skinny boned models like the ones from the 90s??? Men like meat in their women!
@@kant.68 it is the same thing just with different body types
Not every man thinks like that, in many countries thick women are the bomb
@Wara-Chi
Most men don't really care , we want a feminine looking woman, that means breast and a feminine body, skinny, thick it doesn't really matter , most women are attractive to most men, believe me
Cant believe that in this day and age, these strict K-beauty standards are still being imposed on women... and unfortunately, they are mostly for the wrong reason - "to look good in the eyes of others". I guess korean media also plays a major role. They have set these crazy standards among their kpop idols and actors. I hope to see the day that Korean society will be more accepting of a person's physical beauty regardless and to see the diversity and inclusivity in their media.
While Korean men have to willing to die for their country.....SMH this is your biggest problem? Also lookism exists for Korean men too, there were a lot of people saying that RM from BTS look ugly.
@@YumFit1 Geez.. while that is partly true about men... lookism for women are far worst than men and that has been going since the ancient times. What is so bad about asking for a little change in this age.. it may not look like a problem for some but in reality, it has been affecting people mentally.
@@itsgreysbee But the comparison is not fair, and not on equal grounds - American men do not have to forcefully serve in the military, and another thing, they are not expected to be the primary breadwinners as well, in fact a lot of children have absent fathers, and the number of single mother households is one of the highest in America, which has been empirically shown to be bad for raising children. If Korean men compulsorily have to serve in the military - AND THERE IS A VERY REAL THREAT OF DEATH THERE, BECAUSE NORTH KOREA is right there - AND have to compulsorily be the primary breadwinners for their family too, then the gender relations cannot be measured in a similar way as the west, BECAUSE WHAT IS THE BURDEN OF PERFORMANCE FOR KOREAN WOMEN then? The problematic part is that now when an asian country is finally successful, and due to kpop and kdramas it enters the cultural mainstream, now everyone thinks they have a right talk shit about Korean culture - AS if it isn't all the colonial wars due to western powers that hindered social progress in asia. I don't want to take sides here, I am a woman as well, but any type of discourse should be considerate of all sides.
@@YumFit1 rm wasn’t considered ugly, everyone would agree that he’s above average looking, he was just considered too different to be a kpop idol, because of his masculine mature look, when most other members were feminine and cute. Kpop standard =/= korean strandarts . but if he was a normal guy with a normal job, he would have no problem getting any woman he wants.
@@YumFit1 but it's u who is comparing... I mean the above comment was telling about the high beauty standards of korean
That has nothing to do with military. Even though I agree that joining military is a pretty big deal but that has nothing to do with the issue we are discussing.
As long as there are girls like you in Korea who speak out about what they feel is wrong, there will eventually be change for the better. Keep it up. You are amazing young women.
A lot of this applies also to Russia unfortunately. Russian men expected from women to be skinny but with some curves, with their makeup and hair done, wearing feminine clothes. And if woman is not following the “rules” they will say she is not feminine enough or not taking care of herself.
And feminist is still considered to be a bad word.
I hope it all can change one day.
Same in Latino culture, its so toxic.
Some levels of feminism can be toxic as well. But the word itslef isnt bad at all.
@@Niki91-HR hey, I wish you’d talk about the toxicity of male violence before talking about ‘toxic feminism’. Toxic human rights movement a thing, eh?
i feel like people and men in Korea seem to have mixed up the concept of feminism with misandry lol
That's probably because modern day feminism is almost indistinguishable from misandry a lot of the time.
@james miles exactly...so many feminists these days have started molesting,raping, killing,torturing men... right?it's almost like they're treating men the same way men have always treated them....so scary right?
@@hannaansari2921 lol 😂😂😂😂
@@hannaansari2921 exactly.
@@hannaansari2921 😩😩
It would really interesting if you guys did a video about toxic masculinity in Korea. From a western pov because of Kpop, Korea seems to be breaking ground with toxic masculinity (guys with dyed hair, wearing make-up, being touchy with each other) but as you guys mentioned people still get hate for being "too feminine". So, what's people's opinions on feminine male idols? Or what is considered "too feminine"?
AGREED! This would be so intriguing. 😭
Yes, I second this. In my country, Philippines. When Filipinos know nothing about Kpop, when they hear anything about Korean idols they say they're gay just because they put on make-up. I would want to know their thoughts too.
That's the thing: it's literally just a non-Korean/non-East Asian pov. In Korea, Korean male idols are seen as perfectly masculine. Sure, not necessarily as masculine as it can get (on a spectrum), but definitely firmly within the confines of what is being deemed as perfectly appropriate. To them, the idea that they would be seen as feminine is totally absurd.
Korean culture has recognized and idolized certain type of "gentle" male beauty (also known as kkonminam, or back in the day e.g. hwarang) for hundreds of years. It appears as acceptably masculine because it has only ever meant to be shown in contrast to what is expected of Korean women, NOT what is universally expected of women anywhere else. Korean males have had a LOT of space to express themselves, starting from hyper masculine soldier classes and ending up to beautiful and elegant, educated aristocratic class (which kpop idols emulate), and everything in between. As a contrast, women have been expected to fit into a ridiculously narrow standard of female beauty, where they are extremely tiny, frail, sweet and cute... and so, next to them, any Korean man, regardless of how beautiful and sweet he is himself, is going to look strikingly different. And that's enough. See, most gender role structures in any culture seek to create a clear distinction between men and women, and as long as their images are easily distinguished from each other, not much more needs to be done about it.
I would argue that the opposite is true to where I come from (Finland), where women have a LOT of ways to express themselves, be very tomboyish, cut their hair short, become muscular and act tough, or of course be as frilly and silly, sweet and cutesy as they prefer. And in order to be distinguishable from us, Finnish men have to go to the extreme in that regard and act tough, loud and rough as all hell, grow beards and beer bellies or bodybuilder bodies and be super imposing.
Anyway being touchy is just Korean culture and it has nothing to do with femininity either. It's just Koreans being extremely normal - in fact, their behavior should be the standard everywhere else too, and simply the fact that we non-Koreans associate it with femininity makes us sound just blatantly absurd.
@@luskaneseprince I would argue, yes Korean women don't have that "Butch" look and attitudes because LGBQ ideas aren't as prominent in Korea. Of course, one can look "masculine" and not be a lesbian but Korea is simply not at that level. Still, I see a larger range of Korean women gender expression even though it's not as varied as you say for Finland. For example, I've seen those grandmas who smoke in public drinking "makgoli and soju", playing "Hwato" (a gambling card game) and sitting down with their legs open. There's nothing "prim and proper" about them. Of course there's nothing wrong with what they do as men are often doing the same things. For lower classes and older generations I see greater expression.
켈씨님 솔직한 표현 너무 고마워요 저도 독일살면서 저런 편견같은 소리 안듣고 그냥 사람대 사람으로 봐주니 너무 행복해요
This is beyond toxic, it looks like in Korean culture good looking guys have God complex, just crazy😂
Your truly enlightening people by talking hard facts that girls are afraid of speaking 👍
As a korean woman living in Korea, I totally agree with everything that you said. And I think you are really brave to speak out about these subjects which are extremely controversial(which I don't even understand why) nowadays. So many things are great in Korea, but so many other things are the worst -- especially when you are female.
if you think its that bad go to
yemen and tell women there that korea need women rights they will laugh at you
@@allenk6373 what a perfect example why it’s hard to live as a korean woman
@@allenk6373 yeah, never ever complain about your social status and be grateful for all that you have. :)
Such a stupid thing to say.
A lot of things are terrible for Korean men today too. In fact the situation is kinda reversed and there is a double standard in which men actually experience more day to day sexism in Korea. You need to look both sides, not just complain about yours, to have a constructive conversation. For example, Korean women complain about having to cook at husband’s family on Chuseok, but don’t acknowledge the fact that the men have to do the seven hour drive down.
@@thierrytecumseh734 You’re definitely missing the point here, where Korean women are facing literal death threats every day, social structual barriers barring so many things until even now, ranging from micro aggression to a level where one’s survival is at verge. There exists discrimination towards men in every country, obviously. However, what the creater of this video/Korean women are saying and focusing on HERE is the one towards women. Why approach this with a binary perspective? And gosh this comment was written almost 3 years ago😂
A bit off-topic but the term pre-puberty skinniness got me thinking. Where do you think this goal of looking very young in Korea or at least for certain demographics in Korea comes from? I feel like its very different from the US or Europe (can’t speak about other regions) where people want to look/act older or mature even when they are teenagers
That cute thing always gave me pedo vibes
I remember going with my mother in places like the supermarket. The cashier told her that the next customer (me) would present groceries. I was in high school, they thought I was in college. 6'2", 200 pounds.
@@DonnaBrutta2 Yeah. It’s kind of weird, especially in kpop how much is based on adults acting cute and immature, staying really skinny and then also wearing really revealing clothes. Makes you wonder if kpop companies are actively pandering to pedos
Youthfulness is considered attractive and ideal in most asian countries, but it’s super weird when the traits that some countries think are ‘attractive’ literally just describe a child, especially the childish personality part it irks me
@@Vannneeeesssssaaaa I actually cringe so hard when idols purposely act cutesy. I got second hand embarrassment. But acting cute is probably something that their company force them to do. To attract viewers.
Korean Beauty Standards is so high that it is impossible to keep up and usually unattainable. F*ck the standards. Every woman is beautiful in their own way.
Well the truth is, people do not have to be beautiful! The same is not expected for men, right?
I feel like I get why feminism has become so extreme in Korea. For those women who consider themselves feminists, they're probably going to such extreme lengths to not conform because the beauty standards are so extreme. They probably feel like it will take a complete rejection of beauty standards to combat the overwhelming societal pressure to look and behave "like a woman". Over time, both sides will (hopefully) compromise and find consensus in the middle. As competitive as Korean society often is, I hate the idea that women have to have makeup on just to appear normal.
👍
Honestly it’s just so absurd to be considered ‘extreme’ for bringing attention to facts like the ones mentioned in the video. I don’t wear makeup to my workplace, and I don’t grow my hair bc I don’t have to do so to PROVE I am female (it’s not like my hair is my sexual organ. Lol). Not conforming to the preposterous beauty standard DOES NOT make me extreme. It’s the society that is.
I remember Brazil going through a phase of great rejection of feminism, especially because of a group called "femem" who marched without clothes and sometimes because of radical feminism as well. Approximately 10 years have passed and today things have improved. I think religious fundamentalism is our biggest problem to advance further in certain debates. Hope things progress in Korea.
feminism is the cancer of society that kills it. Reality is sexist, we dont have any of the benefits women have
It is interesting to hear peoples more real experiences and issues so thank you as always for the content.
Just to add to the toxic men topic, my most toxic (abusive) Swedish bf was similar but opposite. I weighed 42 kg at the time (160 tall) and he worked very hard at making me feel like damaged goods and "not woman enough" for being too skinny. We had a common friend that was more heavy and with that had more curves and he took every opportunity to compare us, saying things like "I actually liked her but because I promised my good friend to not hit on his crush I had to settle for you instead" calling me gross to touch because you could feel bones and such. Utter human trash. He cheated on me with her and it ended with me calling her to come get her bf because she could have him. The best decision I ever did. The danger with toxic men is that they go for local women until women get enough streetsmarts to detect the red flags and then they go for foreigners because then he can hide behind culture difference. No matter the country - watch out for the bad people. I'm so glad you met Nils, he is definitely one of the top notch ones! ^^
Good for you girl to call out on such a toxic bastard. I hope u r all right and dng fine. If any bastard speaks like that again, "hit em where it hurts". That'll shut their mouth.
I would break up with him as soon as he said that I'm gross if I were in that situation.
Truly a horrible human being.
I can feel the pressed patriotic men transforming into keyboard warriors👨💻
Same. lol They're foaming at the mouths probably.
👏👏👏
again, thank you for saying the hard truths
Thank you for coming by friend!💖
This is what you want to believe to be truth which is very different than actual truth
I'm an older generation Korean American (40s) but I grew up in other countries (Chile, USA) now currently living in Korea. I heard about these things from other Koreans in the States, how much more exaggerated native Koreans are compared to overseas Koreans. I didn't think it would be that different because I have a lot of Koreans friends in the States, but after I came to Korea I found out how much more intense the cultural norms and nuances were. Everything in Korea is intense. Whatever you do you must do it better than everyone else, or at least on par but not less or you'll be called out. This harbors a culture of extreme competition and judgment. Sometimes i wonder how do Koreans relax at in this country and then I realized they do it through alcohol and idolatry; idolatry in the form of looks, material wealth and these days even health. At all times you always have to prove something in this country, how much you studied, how much weight you've lost, how much money you've acquired and save, how many investments you've done, there is no end.
I can’t agree with you more.
I seriously think these videos should have Korean subtitles, so people there can get more info on the matter, at least to be aware that some things that are normal for them are not really okay.
Great video btw! I love both of your content, they're always so insightful and your opinions are on point, so I really hope you keep collabing with each other 💜
What's sad is that Koreans don't realise how crazy their standards are until they leave the country and experience western culture. Everyone thinks extreme dieting and unrealistic beauty standards is okay and normal over there. Not that I'm saying that western culture doesn't have that same toxic mentality but alteast we're more self-aware and we can acc talk about it on platforms but if a Korean girl was to speak up and go against the grain she would be bullied for it.
한국인인데 첫번째 두번째 영상 둘 다 너무 너무10000% 동의해요. 다른 나라들도 각자 나름대로 빻았겠지만 한국에선 도저히 못 살겠어요..ㅋㅋㅋ 언젠가는 바뀌겠지 하며 마냥 기다리기에는 인생이 너무 짧아서 어떻게든 이민 가려고요.. 영상 잘 봤습니다!
good luck!! ❤
40 kilos is 88 lb 😧 I've been there at 5'2 and that's unhealthy even if you're shorter. Yet he calls you fat for being above that. I'm 95 lbs currently and when I was in the 80's (lowest was 81) I'd literally faint from climbing a set of stairs. Taking a shower would exhaust me, how could you function day to day feeling weak and ill? The standards need to change. If some guy says that to you, you should tell them that they should be more ripped, and point out their flaws just to mess with them. 😋 Love your channel!
👍
She said “40 something”
@@hannahboehm8483 even if it was 45 - that’s literally 99 pounds. I don’t know about you, but a lot of women have to be much higher than that in order to be healthy. For me, personally, I’m 5’9. If I was 99 pounds I wouldn’t even know how to function😳
@@hannahboehm8483 This case is on the metric system. As in kilos...
@@sugakookies8063 ur 5'9? you're so tall, i wish i was that tall...
On the subject of weight, people should stop focusing on the number when exercising/dieting. Instead of going I want to be Xkgs, look at your body and find the weight range you are happy and healthy at. For example 60kgs looks very different on different body shapes/heights. Some people look super skinny, some people look heathy and some look a little tubby 🤷♀️ It’s about finding the right balance for YOU and YOUR body not what everyone else is doing…
So true. It's also ridiculous to say people need to have a specific weight. Everyone is built different, different height and etc. Im almost 178cm and I would look like a skeleton with just 120 pounds like Wth. I don't risk my life to look good 🙄
Yep. I was the same waist size. But one at 115lbs and the other at 128 lbs. Weightlifting makes your body weight more.
I am so unhappy when I am 60kg. Waking up everyday with bruises never again.
I totally understand and agree as well, shaming someone on their beauty just by physical appearance is bad. I'm from India so beauty standards and having that perfect shape and all is just as toxic as in Korea. I had a korean gf and had a relationship over a year, I never once asked her to put on make up or dress up - legit just be yourself and doesn't matter how you look. But you know what I learnt, no matter how much support was given but the insane obsession with money and fair looks - drove the relationship down the drain. I admit I'm not fair skinned and rich but that doesn't give anyone an opening to delve into color-family-shaming somone. I do not understand craziness behind looking rich and just being fair skinned and having a white partner just so to look good in public, I mean you can't say that Koreans in foreign countries are different and open-minded - they're still the same. I'm not against Koreans or their culture or language but these little things is something I always find. Racism is simple as toxic and pure garbage.
Asians and the obsession of fair skin.
I got tanned nowadays because work related stuff and everyone complains that I got tanned. I don't even mind lol.
How refreshing to hear some honesty. Wish more people were this honest about their society. We all have our issues, but it can't get better if we don't admit there's a problem.
Yeh A lot of this revolves around "conformity", in countries or cultures where society is fairly ethnically narrow there seems to be more pressure to conform.
As we ethicnally and ractially mix this can raise issues, if the mixing moves ahead of the attitudes, there can be very real issues, particularly when there then becomes a mix if differing body types accompanied by a very narrow common body image.
Extreme diet and body weight issues aside, the fact is there are various body types that have various healthy weight ranges.
It is rediculous to expect a heavy framed person to be skinny, likewise some light framed people can afford to carry very little extra weight and maintain good health.
I Think too in much of Asia and probably Korea there is very much a male domination/ male security problem, that revolves around the woman being smaller and weaker than the man, where in other countries there are men who find, big, strong, healthy women very desirable.
In many european countries, particularly the viking countries, the big, strong, independent woman has been normalized for centuries.
Can you imagine the typical Asian man dating a girl, significantly taller than him?
A lot of this comes down to male confidence.
I can't remember who said it, but one of the early women"s liberationists famously said, " If we want to be liberated, we must first liberate the man". or words to that effect.
Nah I disagree. Men are allowed have preferences toward skinny and petite women. It's not about male dominance. Men in Asia are influenced by the media that shows skinny women just like wlhow western men are influenced by their media that represents bigger women. If women are allowed to actively shame short men and say they only like tall men it's okay. But as soon as a man says they only like skinny women it's a problem? I don't think body shaming people is good but it is a very silly issue, most healthy minded people move on and not care. I think your looking into a very simple thing and making it seem more than it is.
@@carlw5360 I think you are looking at a very complex thing and making it over simple
Yup. We all know that insecure men can become control freaks because they are always afraid of not having power and looking inferior. The solution in Korea is to control how women look and behave.
You guys are so good..that you are throwing so much of light on the actual problems in your country, I really love watching you and I have seen such things in K-dramas but never expected that it actually happens in the Korean society . Great going gals!!
It's nice to see that younger people are recognising how crazy the standards are. This means they might not make their children go through the same pressure.
Kelsey ..u r not fat at all...u r so beautiful ....ur face is hella attractive and ur personality dude (chief kiss)...and yeah the confidence u show (muaaaahhhh)....
Seldom people/channel talk or discuss on weight issues, beauty standard and mental health as transparency as what you girls did here. Kudos. More on these topic please.
Toxic bf:- i think you should exercise you're getting fat
Me :- i think we should breakup you're getting toxic
Korean beauty standard is so scary ,I hope people can change their mind
I'm a mexican woman living in Mexico and I find many similarities between Korean and Mexican "machismo" culture, that's why although I love kpop I will never ever romantize life in Korea cause I know the struggle.
feminism is the cancer of society that kills it. Reality is sexist, we dont have any of the benefits women have. It exists because of biology
I found it so interesting when you talked about how a lot of guys force their standards on other women. Like wow, do they think so highly of themselves that they believe that women exist for their pleasure? To look exactly how they prefer? That’s crazy to me. I would be laughed at if I did that to men.
I just want to point out that the Obese2Beast guy was giving really bad advice because 1. Skinny people’s diets are not the standard of how people should eat, and 2. Any nutritionist worth their weight in silver will tell you to listen to your body and eat til you’re full. Then they would tell you foods that will make you feel more full while also balancing the nutrients you’re taking in. Like you’re not supposed to fight against your body, you need to work with your body
It’s obvious that you didn’t watch his video because he literally said the points you just stated
I enjoy watching these videos, even though I am a 38-year-old African-American woman, who doesn’t have any plans on vacationing/living in South Korea. I did send the link of the video to several people I know. They “love” the Korean culture, or, so they say. But I noticed that they’re relying on works of fiction as their sources. 😒
Exactly, they think Korean culture and portrayals of normal life are like those shown in Korean entertainment🤨
too many people, especially in asia are too afraid to say what's real. keep serving up the truth raw Kelsey! and this is coming from a north american asian guy of chinese descent.
ever thought about being a rapper btw? haha. imagine you spitting facts on society on show me the money!
I Don't know why korean people like outer beauty more then inner beauty.
My point of view inner beauty is more important. I am form Bangladesh & proud to be a Bangladeshi. Actually, Bangladeshi people aren’t like that. Most of the people in Bangladesh prefer personality more thn outer beauty
Sry for my bad English 🙏
Why don't people understand feminism=equal rights. And also if someone decides to keep short hair and not use make up, that's completely their business. Nobody is obligated to use make up anyway.
Oh, they know feminism is about equality for human rights, but they hate it anyway. They're leaving comments as if they've been misled and given the wrong information (for example, "feminists want to control men" and the "feminists hate men" comments), but its fake. An attempt to spread misinformation about feminism and hate.
Kelsey님 이런 주제의 영상 올려주셔서 너무 고마워요 😭 정말 한국에서 여성외모는 나노단위로 평가당하는 것 같아요..
Is the definition of feminism different is Korea or something. Cause in American feminism is the fight for equal rights, like men and women get equal pay, equal work etc. Why is it so negative in Korea if all we want is to be treated to same
I think Korea is a great place to visit for like a holiday or vacation, but not a place to live in. Like just from how expensive the housing and f*cked up the korean society is, I don’t think I could ever survive living there, yet some people would fantasize about living in Korea just to find their oppa because of kpop and kdramas. I am not being hateful towards koreans and the country, but I just think they need to improve in some things like the education system and other social issues.
I always think it‘s absolutely absurd the „ideal weight“ that in promoted to women by Korean media. I see these below 50kg things for women who are like 1,65m and I‘m like: You do realise this is underweight, almost critically underweight, yes?
People tend to forget then being underweight is more dangerous than being slightly overweight talking about health.
And then I see comment of teenage girls thinking their are fat, because they are normal weight and it just breaks my heart.
Whoa, such an insight! I have grown up as an asian german girl in Germany. So the mindset there is similar to the swedish people. So, when i'm with my fellow asian people, i will hear mostly about how you should be in appearance (particularly older women).
Luckily i had a mother who always told me i'm ok as i am and never pressured me how to be a girl/woman in a negative way.
We have the draft if the US but it’s only used if we need it. So far they prey on poor people and promise them free education for their lives basically. Many of them come back home disabled or with PTSD it’s very sad
I love how you speak straight forward things with no sugar coating.. This type of video is what I want... GOMAWO🥰 LOVE FROM INDIA🇮🇳
I’ve lived through a lifetime of societal expectations of women. I have experienced and fought through many of the issues you discuss. I’m gratified to hear you boldly discussing these issues of disparity that women share in much /most of the world.
Kelsey, FYI: my husband was Swedish and living in Sweden provided me with a healthier, more balanced role for women in society.
I am still mourning my husband who passed away last year; seeing you and Nils in Sweden brought back so many happy memories for me. Im happy for you.
Sending you love
Thx for part 2, these kind of videos about Korean society never get boring 😊👍 I want more! 😄
This is such a comforting video to hear you both talk about these topics openly. If any guy dates you and says to lose weight, wear makeup, or even tell you to wear certain clothes or whatnot, ditch them fast. In a relationship, you don't change for that other person, they accept you as you are, or nothing.
Girls, Am so glad you are exposing this double standards. Dont allow some insecure man to define who you are. If they want a barbie doll, they are welcome to it, but stop with the uneccesary body shaming of self confident women
What Anna said about Korean feminism is the exact image that Korean society made and framed on feminists living in Korea. So I 조심스럽게 suggest you that as a influential person it'd be lovely if you could be little more cautious when it comes to defining certain demographic. 연애도 안하고 남자면 싫어하는 페미니스트가 있는가하면 그렇지 않은 페미니스트가 있는건데, 마치 그 모습이 전부인냥 그리고 틀에 박아서 다른 사람들이 페미니즘 자체에 관심을 갖지 못하도록 한다고 생각해요. 항상 시원하고 깔끔하게 사이다 발언해주셔서 정리해주셔서 감사합니다!
This is so refreshing…
Ladies. Thank you. Many many people need to see this video. It’s so genuine it’s so casual and comfortable. I feel so positive and okay. Okay as in normal. Yes I am okay and I am normal. Most videos these days make people hate their life or want to achieve unrealistic dream. At the end of the video they feel empty. This video made me feel so positive and comforted.
I like the way you are frank to us and as we know every countries have some ups and down so yeah I like your videos ☺
I think that it is not that korean feminists are extreme. At the start of the feminist movement, almost every country's media has initially labeled feminists as bra-bruning and men hating. It was 1970's for us and uk, but for countries like korea it is now. The korean media is to blame for feminists bad image which is why in korea the feminist movement is attracting bad people.
Tbh people in England still think of feminists as extreme man haters
@@hannahgomes2259
I mean...the Radical literally blame all the bad things that happened to humanity to men, literally
Oh no korean feminists are crazy. They throw ink balloons on soldiers and tease male abuse victims
I think there's a weird balance, in the "different kinds of sexism" kind of way. Overall I think the sexism is way higher in Korea on the "gender role" spectrum. Like certain "roles" and behavior expected of men and women, and I agree that the West is usually further down the line of social progress on that point. But in others, I think Korea has the lead by at least as much. Like in personal safety, being able to go out alone late at night, or in overall "respect". If something like the Burning Sun scandal had happened in France? It would not even be CALLED a scandal, almost nobody would talk about it, half of those who did would actually defend the authors or blame the victims, and I'm pretty sure not a single person would have spent A DAY in prison.
Aren't you being a bit harsh to France though? They literally drugged women for foreign men to rape at the more aggressive spectrum. I have a hard time believing any decent person would think that is normal behaviour.
@@stillfangirlingtoday1468 I'd bet a kidney that a LOT of my fellow countrymen would argue there was not enough proof (even if there was), that context is half consent, etc.
I'm harsh but the average consensus has been going downhill here for several years now. Several global organisations have currently ranked France toward the fascism spectrum, there's a huge spike in far right sentiment at every social stratum, and while a lot of it is expressed through racism, there's also a shitton of increased sexism compared to 10 years ago. I've seen and heard things that make me wanna puke.
@@desenquisse That is disappointing, I was led to believe France would be one of the more socially progressive countries. I guess conservative parties are indeed gaining traction globally. Thanks for keeping it real!
@@stillfangirlingtoday1468 it used to be true. Now, VERY unfortunately, not so much. Not so much at all. 😢
@@flora7447 What’s your country if I may ask?
Hey Kelsey, I was wondering if you might do a video on the birth rate and demographic crisis in Korea, and how things are for your generation in regards to this topic. What the government is doing. Are you facing societal pressure to have kids? Etc etc I heard Korea has the lowest birthrate in the world.
Just found your channel, very interesting and refreshing! 나는 비디오를 좋아한다! 나는 한국 문화에 관심이 있습니다. Learning Korean and been attempting to cook the well known dishes 🙌🏼
Being Latino, Korean food might be the best 🤙🏼
영어공부한다 생각하고 자막켜두고 해석해가면서 언니영상 보고있는데 진짜 너무 멋져요 마인드짱ㅠㅠ 영어 하시는것도 너무 멋지고 퓨ㅠ 구독하고 갑니당👍👍
This video was such a breath of fresh air. Its been 9 years since I was introduced to Korean culture from variety shows. Running man was the first one and I came sliding down the rabbit hole. But I always felt like these issues weren't talked about enough. I recently finished Kim Ji- young, Born 1982 and I remember crying so hard while reading and after finishing the book. It was not because I have never faced sexism in my country but it was because it was so familiar to me. I felt so sad thinking that systemic sexism is rooted so deep that in most cases people don't even realize something is wrong with the system they grew up in and they will have to change it. Proud to see you guys doing your part. More power to you girls. Love from Nepal 🇳🇵. Have an amazing week.❤❤
Girl *thank youu* for speaking the truth about feminism in Korea!! Recently with the whole An San debacle people were so surprised with Korean men's reactions and words, and I was just thinking to myself "if ya'll knew how feminism is perceived in Korea you wouldn't be surprised".
I think conversations like these are so so important right now, especially with the rise of k-culture and increase in young foreign k-fans. I've noticed how on tiktok and youtube alot of Koreans will just gloss over this stuff and present a wholesome image of Korea. Which is understandable because that's what their audience wants to see, but it's also also knowingly misleading kids.
Have Military mandatory in Brazil too (for means), Me and a South Korean platoon went training in the Brazilian Amazon jugle when I was 18 and I was forced to join the army, my Korean friends were also forced to serve in the army.
This was so interesting to hear! Thanks for being so candid about this topic
Disclaimer: I am American and looking at these social issues in Korean "from the outside". Just stating my observations from RUclips and other media.
I watched some street interview videos where random girls were asked if they thought they were fat and most of them said yes. Then the interviewers asked a bunch of guys if they liked skinny girls and the guys said they preferred healthy girls with a little " meat on their bones". After watching that, I wondered if the ideal body image being pushed on girls was just being pushed by the media.
But after watching your video, it seems like the men are pushing that on girls, too. It makes me sad that healthy girls are being called fat.
Thanks for discussing these issues I really enjoyed hearing your discussion. I found the conversation very balanced and I thought it was great that you shared your personal stories. Hopefully the younger generation will bring about important changes to Korean society with regardless to gender equality and reducing the importance on superficiality. Hope you don't allow the haters to get you down!
I appreciate both your point of views and sharing your culture in both videos. I watch K-dramas and I never liked how they portrayed these "innocent" relationships etc. but good thing I have common sense to know, its just acting. They are not to be idolised. I love your country's language (am a language student) and culture and to me you are both beautiful ladies.
I think the reason why there’s less hateful English comments is because it’s acceptable to speak callously and bluntly (leaning on careless/rude) in daily life. In western culture, you speak for EFFICIENCY, to save time. So you say what you need to in order to get your message across FASTEST. Because of this, there’s not as much pressure to be well liked or socially acceptable. It’s like “if you have something to say, say it to my face” kind of attitude.
But in Asian standards, the general consensus is that there is a /way/ to say things and behave in everyday life that allows you to remain socially palatable to the public. More of a “what you said is correct, but the way you said it wasn’t, so that makes your points invalid.” And the internet (because anonymity is an option) allows them to speak and behave how they normally would not due to societal expectations.
Idk how accurate my assumption is, but I’m Asian American (was not born in the U.S.), and that’s what I’ve noticed from my incredibly conservative community and parents.
Love your content btw!
I agree with you! I feel like it’s better to live in a society where you can freely speak your mind rather than living in one where most of the time you’re basically forced to filter what you say and bottle up emotions/feelings just to be accepted by conservative people.
Just my type.... straightforward and no sugar coating...
love u both...
from Sri Lanka
I just love how you talk the truth about everything...love from srilanka❤️
Love all your videos, it's like on point all the time🎯
Much love from Northeast India 🇮🇳❣️
A moment of silence for any girl that watched a couple of kdramas and decided that ANY guy is a literal angel, as long as they're from S.K. 🤠
I don’t know why I am just finding your channel now ! you have such great content ! Thanks for talking about this topic ! As a foreign girl living in South Korea, I find it really hard sometimes because of the obvious sexism. I sympathize a lot with Korea girls especially since they cannot even talk about it if they don’t want to receive backlash. this gender war that is currently going on needs to stop. I feel like it is mostly guys who are problematic because they don’t want girl to emancipate themselves. They still want their little comfort by having submissive women around them and indulge themselves in thinking that men are superior.
Thank you ladies for sharing! Love hearing your thoughts and perspective.
To be honest i was hesitant to click on this video but I'm glad i did. In the United States we had and still kinda have this feminism movement where its just full on hating men. Of course there are feminist that don't hate men but a large number of feminist here act entitled and malicious. The way you guys went about explaining the Korean perspective was really interesting and respectful to both genders. One thing though is I think its not about equality but equity. Men and women are different but they should both have the right resources to succeed. Thank you for sharing your experiences!! Great video!!!
Thanks for sharing your experiences with misogyny and sexism in South Korea. The issues with misogyny and sexism y'all face in South Korea are similar to what Asian women and girls face in other Asian communities as well (regardless of which country they reside in). Sad but not surprised to hear that anti-feminism thrives in South Korea since anti-feminism in asian communities has been an ongoing issue pointed out by numerous asian feminists in disapora communities (and probably in asian countries as well) for several years. The Asian manosphere is not a recent thing though. It has been thriving in asian countries and communities for several years. [JT Tran and the Asian PUA movement (which are similar to Donald Trump and the alt-right), Asian dudebros, MRAsians, Asian incels, Asian "nice" guys, and the Asian anti-affirmative-action movement (which is basically a cis straight asian male movement) are examples of this.]
Thank you for this Kelsey and Anna! I’m from Manila and as a person who follows Korean dramas and music, I’m shocked with how toxic “Knetz” are. This gives me more context.
I thoroughly enjoyed both videos about both of your ladies’ opinions on many Korean “taboo” topics.
Sometimes living in America can feel like you’re in a bubble and have no idea about the kind of lives people live half a world away. I am very intrigued to hear you ladies talk about Feminism at least being a topic (even if the title has a negative connotation) in Korea. I’m not saying everyone in the world should be westernized but I do want us as humans to be considerate and respectful to one another, regardless of race, gender, and religion.
That being said, here in America, men do (and even my own mother-who is only in her 50s) think that the glass ceiling doesn’t exist, that there isn’t a “pink tax”, that there isn’t wage discrimination. Even though we are “westernized”, we still have a long way to go here as well when it comes to equal rights. And same here, being a “feminist” has a negative meaning behind it as well. There are a lot of double standards still here as well. Women have been looked at as lesser than men for many millennia. I’m not sure when all will be equal. 😔
I had similar experiences albeit not in Korea but in east Asia, I was told that I was fat and for a long while I had very low self esteem. Yet in Europe once I was helping out my friends during her school project as a free model, a girl saw me and said something like “gosh im so jealous of your body shape.” Tbh Idk how those sexist n toxic comments mentioned in the video can still exit for this long and hopefully no girls will be harmed from them in the future. :/
OMG.. I came to know so many things from this beautiful discussion. I remember several years back one European model collapsed during some fashion show and died in hospital later. It was revealed she was on salad (tomato and cucumber only) for last 6 months- 1 yr to remain skinny (just like Korean male / female K-pop idols). One should remain healthy maintaining ideal BMR index. That's all. Ladies, looking forward to more such discussion from you.
As someone who live in asia all her life I do think that most people work out so they would be better looking. That's just the norm in my country. Everyone is obsessed with glow up transformation which includes slimming their body and making their skin lighter. Literally every glow up pictures and videos here are like that.
Btw one sentence I hate the most is "How could you get a husband if you're like this?" or "Who's going to marry you if you're like this?" And the counter argument of this is usually "You will find a man who love you just the way you are"
As if we females only exist to compete for men's attention and love and we're worthless if we don't get a man.
In my country there's this thing about if a woman doesn't get married until she's like 30 something she's called old virgin which implies that she's that worthless that nobody wants her.
I don't like the pressure of "getting a man"
So what if nobody's gonna want us? It's not like we can't live happily without a man.
It's just sad how young girls are obsessed with beauty just to get a boyfriend/husband and questioning themselves if they're good enough to get a man/to make a man wants them.
I love that you girls cover everything. I think you are great. Thanks