After a third date, I'm not having sex with anyone....I'm American. I'm saying there are no specific rules. This guys perspective/rule is just his or his circles. There are no rules, it's your choice for your situation, your age, yourself!
My advice to those that want to socialize with Koreans, join a martial arts gym, dance gym, or something like that. My friend joined a hip-hop dance gym and she loves it, made a bunch of Korean friends haha I had a hard time making friends the first few months living in Busan. I tried joining an English club, going out trying to socialize to meet Korean people at the beach and stuff but it didn't really work out. My Korean is very basic so it's really hard to make Korean friends. I recently joined a Judo gym, I was the only foreigner there, and it was sort of weird but I made 2 really good friends. One speaks decent English and the other is as good at English as my Korean. I think they appreciate me trying to learn/speak Korean even though it's terribly broken haha. Plus, we all like drinking and martial arts so we have commonalities. Also 12:45 ish, he's totally right. Once you make a few Korean friends, they'll introduce you to other friends maybe.
Do you live in Busan? Me too. Also trying to make some korean friends but by now not very lucky. Almost all the people I meet are foreigners. Let me join you guys for drinks (my korean is also not very good) xD
As someone with autism, I really liked the relationship things. No casual touching and people actually talking about how they feel is delightfully refreshing.
You can basically sum up Asia by saying they're all autistic. Because 'autism' is just people who didn't develop western social skills. You know what's interesting is that I've found people who use labels like 'I'm autistic' or 'I'm gay' to describe themselves, that's because they're very uninteresting people with no identity desperately clinging to one thing that's different about themselves and using it to define their entire identity- even going so far as to use it as an excuse for inexcusable behaviours.
haha it's interesting... I've lived in Korea for a while now and I found many people to be FAR touchier than back at home in the US. at least my female friends and coworkers always touch my shoulders or arms or even cuddle me almost, or like pick hair off of my clothing, etc. etc. to the point where it made me feel uncomfortable until I got used to it lol. I guess as far as hugging and female to male casual touching it's much less though... haha
I live in Korea too and I think in the context of dating these touch rules are typical (though I have been in a long term relationship for years I know the male and female touch "rules") If your a female and are friends (how Koreans define friends is another culture shock maybe K should do a video on THAT) but yes Korean females who you know and spend regular time with have zero physical boundaries haha link an arm hold hands etc it is jarring and sometimes I accidentally offend the females when I unconsciously withdraw haha at their touchiness
True. Same sex friends don't touch each other much in the US although I admit I live in what is technically a southern state and southerners are more huggy and touchy than people from other regions
Right physical contact between men and women coworkers is a no no. I have a guy friend who was molested by his girl coworker but he couldn’t do anything because of the women movement. They’re way more sensitive now that before.
I also feel like knowing some basic rules of the country is key. I visited korea twice and every time I used both hands or i spoke (basic) korean people were very kind to me and happy about the fact that I showed some respect towards their culture. Actually I felt like korean people were mostly very kind and welcoming. About the shoes: I'm from germany and we also take our shoes off in the hallway. But if you want to go somewhere else soon or maybe the floor is very cold people can leave their shoes on. But it is up to the person who lives there to tell their guests if it is okay to leave the shoes on or not.
sane in my household if the floor is cold and the person isnt wearing socks so he can wear shoes sneakers inside even my mom told my cousin to do it cuz the floor was pretty cold btw i am indian
I have Asperger’s and it freaks me out when someone starts touching me right away when I don’t know them. And if I ask them to stop, they usually get offended 😒 I wish people were more platonic, like you said
@@dariang4725 thank you. It’s really difficult for me to know what’s appropriate, or what’s considered ‘normal,’ when doing things. I’ve wondered I was in the wrong.
I get what you're saying about people being offended, but the issue is that the discomfort with the touch goes against the social norm. Otherwise a person would have never touched them if that wasn't the social norm. Anytime people go against social norms, others become frustrated and confused by them. That's one reason why people on the spectrum who suffer with these issues can have isolation concerns. It's not really fair to ask the majority of other people to change their social norms even if in reality they should be understanding and patient with those struggling with them. I'm just explaining it to you in both ways. I'd personally not be bothered and aways back off if someone gets uncomfortable, but I'm also a natural toucher. I find myself touching to sooth nervous energy or to show my affection. If the person flinches or expresses discomfort I do feel initially very offended because I don't give my touch to just anybody and it's a social norm and encouraged for me as a woman to touch other people in this way. But I'm also educated and sensitive so I don't hold it against that person. It's their body and it's their preference. But you can see what I'm saying with my example, right? Best wishes
Great video! Love the chemistry between you and "the American". You didn't even let him say his name..lol. I feel like in America, it is still the cultural norm to wear shoes in people's homes unless you are told otherwise. I grew up in Texas and I did have Asian friends where I did take off shoes before going into their homes. There are households that do set up shoe rooms (mud rooms) particularly if it snows or rains a lot. Maybe it is just me but I feel like Americans are more concerned about smelly socks/feet or people's feet condition as a reason not to make them expose their socks or feet if visiting. I feel like if I were to go to a friend's house to have dinner with friends, I wouldn't be expected to take my shoes off at all unless I was staying the night. Even then I would take off shoes in the guest bedroom.
He's Swedish :) So thats why he doesnt know much about america. I think he lived there as well. no idea. its my second video from this channel im watching xd
I think wearing shoes in the house is a regional thing in the US. I'm from the midwest (Wisconsin) and I don't know anyone who wears shoes in the house.
Hey Kelsey, really useful video, thank you very much for it!🙏 But just one thing, when your guest was talking, you were cutting him off really often. Even when you were doing a statement,and he tried to react to it, you immediately cut him off, which is a little bit frustrating ( cause you know I kinda wanted to know the end of his explanations😅). But except that, you guys did awesome, I loved the chemistry!🥰
I couldn’t keep watching the video because of this, it hurt me to see him being cut off like that so I only lasted 3 minutes… guess I’ll never know the don’ts of south korea
I'm from the south in the US and if you go to someone else's house and they don't have shoes on, you better take your damn shoes off. If it's my house I should have to ask someone to. Be observant and polite is how I feel about it.
I don't know if it's the same for most of the non-English speaking countries, but here in Italy, as much as in Korea (from what I've understood), you can't hang out with people who's from there and expect to speak English with them all the time. In Italy, we can speak basic English, but it's kind of rude not to try learning the language and want people to speak English to you anywhere all the time. If you're on vacation it's fine to rely on English but if you want to stay for a long time and hang out with people who're from there, you should start learning the language. I understand that it's hard but people there have their own lives and they are not the ones who left their country so they might not be so interested in making a foreign friend. If you want friends from the country you are in you'll have to try not to be only "the foreigner". I know people could be more welcoming but that's the reality, if you don't do that, then it's going to be harder to fit in.
When it comes to dating (or anything for that matter) there's isn't a one size fits all for any culture or country. It depends on the individual and the specific situation. Yes counties have some differences in how they do things but that's only to a certain degree. From then on it solely depends on the person/people involved because of many things like how you grew up, morals, values, religion, personal choice/experience and so on...
The difference in America with wearing vs. not wearing shoes in the house is that it's more likely that you will take your shoes off if you live there, but less likely if you are a visitor to someone else's house. It could actually be considered to be rude to take your shoes off in someone's house that you're not very familiar with.
In Brazil there’s no rule whatsoever. We touch and hug people we don’t even know well, people kiss and have sex on the first date depending on the person, and you can go out on dates with someone for months or even years before you really consider that person your girlfriend or boyfriend. Of course it all depends on how “conservative” you and your date are. At parties, It’s also normal to kiss people without knowing them and without having the intention of ever seeing them again.
Lol and you’re proud of that? I’d rather live in korea than Brazil then. You shouldn’t be too strict in life but you shouldn’t be shameless and stupid either.
@@bleach2618 I never said I am proud of it, I’m just stating the facts. And it’s not about being shameless and stupid, relationships happens according to our culture and our individual beliefs, not everyone in Brazil base their lives in those habits, but many people do, and here, acting like this isn’t something you should be ashamed of, cause everyone is free to exert their sexuality and romanticism as they wish, as long as your freedom doesn’t hurt other people. So you can live your life having sex with a different person every week or you can be a 23 year old virgin (like me) waiting for the right person.
I was looking for a similar comment. I’m from Argentina and this is also the case! Even in the US they do much less touching and are far less “casual” about relationships than we are. It’s kind of funny to see Kelsey shocked by US standards, I can only imagine how shocked she’d be from ours! 😅
I think a lot of countries think Americans routinely put our shoes on the furniture but I assure you my mom would have killed us if we put our shoes on the sofa. We were taught to take our shoes off before curling up on the sofa. When I went to Mexico for the first time, I did a homestay through the language school I was attending, and the family urged me to go ahead and put my feet on their sofa while I still had my shoes on. I got the impression it was part of cultural background training that they were taught Americans like to do that, but it is not true. There might be some families who fo that, but I always take my shoes off when I get home from work and put my favorite fuzzy socks on and wear those around the house. I don't wear shoes constantly. It's uncomfortable. Also I live in a state with a large rural population so maybe that has influence on that. People who live on farms out in the country especially have mud rooms where they leave their boots and shoes to keep from tracking dirt into the house. Maybe the culture is different in larger cities
Yeah.... Cultures where people take their shoes off when they go in the house.... They seem to think that people who don't take their shoes off must put their feet inside those shoes all over the furniture like they do in their socks.... But they don't. Most cultures that wear shoes inside the house people, people switch to slippers and take the feet out of the slippers to put them on the furniture. And if they don't take their shoes off at all they don't put their feet up at all. We're really mindful of our feet and germs.
The shoe thing is super regional/by household in America. In my experience, taking your shoes off at the door is almost universal in rural areas, but a lot less common in cities.
It is viewed as being honest in the US to let someone know you have multiple dates going on. It also lets the other person know hey if there is problem scheduling the second date its not a "soft no". However when I lived in Korea letting a date know that got me labeled Paramdoongi. Also I would recommend palm down when beckoning someone to come to you.
I mean... in finland according to my experiences and people i know, some people actually meet people in bars, have sex until they catch feelings. Like the starting point is physical touch etc. Until maybe the other person would consider the other person as a love interest. Idk to me its a bit weird but i also kind of understand it. Edit: and the time that the "freinds with benefits" style of physical touch keeps going is really personal. It can go from a long bar night to going to bed the same night, leave early in the morning to home and maybe change phone numbers. Meet again for what ever reason (party, coffee, date) that can end in the bed too. And if things are going well and emotions are there the other person might ask to stay for breakfast and make plans for the rest of the day, who knows. It can take days, weeks or months.
Im sure theres more! Like i heard its rude to ask for a bigger portion. To ask for another plate. Carry your garbage with you. Theres no trashcans over there. Dont ever text/look down on your phone while walking . You step aside and let people pass on a walkway. Im curious about whats taboo in south korea. Or underground stuff. Great vid😁
As an American, I personally don’t like having sex until I know and like them well enough to decide to be in a relationship with them. That can take anywhere from like 1-3 months for me. But I feel like there’s a lot of pressure to have sex before committing in America. Makes it hard for me to date here since most men here want an idea of how you are in bed before having a proper mental & emotional bond first. I’m moving to Korea in a couple weeks. Maybe I’ll like the Korean dating style once I’m ready to put myself out there but idk! Lol even having sex after the 3rd date is too soon for me
Stop the cap ; you know you’ll have coitus on the first night if it’s a Chad or Tyrone 😉🤣. Also good luck on your trip because Africans aren’t welcomed nor do they have a very positive image in the Asian hemisphere ,don’t believe that narrative BTS pushes because it’s not true.I’m saving you the heart break so your welcome .🙏 🗿
@@owochocolate9298 I’m not knocking her because of her choice.Good for her idgaf if she does or doesn’t . What I’m saying is she shouldn’t lie to herself because most American women from what I’ve seen doesn’t have goods that are worth the wait😂🤣
@4:49, to answer ur question. the whole reason americans date multiple people in the beginning is to pick the best fit. so by a certain period you would narrow things down to one exclusive person.
The way I was raised (in the US) is no shoes in the house and no barefeet, so we had to wear socks to keep the carpet clean. But if guests came over, they were not made to take shoes off. It is whatever the guest is comfortable with. I think that is the norm. It's not like Korea where everyone is expected to take them off and you have slippers people can borrow (great idea though!)
Yeah. The shoe thing in America is very VERY case-by-case/ household-by-household. I think for the most part most non-eastern households in the US take their shoes off when they get home mostly as a comfort thing. Like taking your bra off at the end of the day. But they also have no problem wearing shoes in the house in general. However if people are picky about shoes in their house it’s usually for a reason. Like if the weather is bad or they have nice floors they don’t want to get dirty. Growing up I had an aunt who never allowed shoes anywhere near her white carpets. I myself hate sweeping and vacuuming so I do request that people take their shoes off before entering my home. But it’s not the cultural norm and I often let people come inside with shoes anyway. Especially if it’s a party or service providers.
Boy I could write a book on this subject. My wife is Korean and in 44 years together I'm an expert on the subject. A couple of things she considers bad luck are whistling in doors and also nervously shaking my leg or foot!
The touching thing depends on the community you are part in the US. The US is huge and some are open to affection between people on a date but others might not. My community, showing someone you like does not depend on physical touch. You gotta tell em first. If you try any physical before telling them, you could get labeled as weird or a strong distasteful reaction. I'm from a minority culture.
As an American we do not all have sex that quickly. It usually takes me months before I feel comfortable enough to be with someone like that. So absolutely not doing stuff like that on the third date lol
I like the Korean standards when it comes to dates. If your going on a date with me I want to be the only person your seeing. This is something I don't like about Western dating. Seeing multiple people, to me, means that I'm not the most important person to you.
I don't actually agree. I think that people should keep their options open but only during the casual stage of dating. And casual means no intimate acts so of course no sex. I think it's a good idea to go on some simple and cheap dates with multiple people for about three dates. But be mindful that you're planning to eliminate and find one person to stick to. That gives you options but not too many. It gives you a goal to work for. And it helps you respect the other person's time. By the fourth date things should be getting serious and there shouldn't be other contenders. A culture of this needs develop! And people need to phrase it what it is. You're dating to find a boyfriend. Or you're dating for marriage. We need to stop letting sex be on the table and be an option because men will forever try to sleep with as many women as possible if they're allowed to. But if they have to marry the woman to sleep with her then they will marry the women. Men just have too many options and too many women who are willing to compromise themselves. That makes a women who don't want to behave in those ways feel like they have no choice and that's where most of our problems come from.
@@HadassaMoon144 I agree with you, what I said above was more of my personal opinion. Its on how I view my relationships; I like your comment of taking sex off the table and stating what purpose dating is for.
Dating more than one person sounds like a popular girl problem. This isn't a problem most of us guys have. Two girls liking me at the same time? Only happened once in highschool 20 years ago and never again since girls liking me is so rare haha.
Nice video, though I felt a little bad for your friend, didn't even introduced him with his name and it felt like when he wanted to explain something you were cutting him off...
I'm an American, and I have always lived in "shoes off" households. Most people I know who wear shoes in the house have dirty houses that you wouldn't want to walk on the floor with bare feet. But those people are few and far between. In TV shows, I think they show shoes-on most of the time, because actors and actresses appear more stylish or put-together. It's a fashion thing. Especially if the actress needs to wear heels to correct a major height differential with the other actors. Don't judge all Americans by what you see on TV, because we don't live that way.
I don’t know if it’s because I’m Asian American but I could not relate to a lot of the things the American guy said. I guess it just depends on your ethnicity and how/where you were raised in the states. I’m not having sex with anyone after 3 dates. I hate being touched and don’t like to touch others. I was raised with the two hand and shoes off rule. I do like they they mentioned not to assume that all foreigners can speak English bc I could def see many Americans thinking that.
It's weird that it's pretty similar in India too like almost all the stuff you said also applies here I think it might be an Asian thing?? Even here boys don't touch you until you're like really really comfortable and friendly.. People on Tinder are judged here too.. And other stuff too
Nah, many Americans walk around the house with shoes on. I only started taking them off after making a friend who took them off. Now, I still do it, but usually if I'm in a rush and is otherwise bare footed.
I'm not sure what kind of Western women he's dated, but most women I know, do not expect a kiss by the third date. *But THE MEN DO* and it's so annoying🥲
Kels what the heck … I’m seeing a lot of comments about this already but I think it’s important that it’s brought to your attention. I really hated watching this video, I normally really enjoy your personality on camera but you were really rude in this one. Why have a guest if you’re not going to let him speak? He kept his cool so well, I’d have told you to stfu while I’m talking 😂😅😅😅 This video would have been so good, especially if he had the opportunity to talk more.
A lot of useful tips! Going to stay in Seoul for a month this year to learn more Korean. Would love tips on where to go and what do to for a first timer & how to meet people
I want to make precious memories too! It’s a little bit scary to know that Koreans are standoffish to foreigners but Im coming anyway. I already learned Hangul. I can read and write Korean now I need to speak !
@@KelseytheKorean Also, credit your guest. What's his name? His social media details (if he wants to share). This aside, I like your content and look forward to more.
I think it was because he's not very efficient or concise when he's speaking. He kind of rambles instead getting to the point. I actually found it hard to listen to him.
I definitely did not know about the tinder rules until I came to your channel! I am Mexican but grew up in Asia (not Korea) and I definitely had a problem with the ‘no social touching’ part; I’ve got some pretty funny stories of me messing up and making dudes uncomfortable ^^’. I understand it is culture and I slowly learnt but sometimes I still mess up as it is ingrained in my Latina culture and also..well I am an affectionate person by nature. What I love about Asian culture is that it is 100% ok to be touchy with you same-sex friends cuz back in the West people get very annoying about that :/
i always wondered about the holding things with two hands etiquette when i visited korea, because a lot of the time i was holding my phone (to use maps and papago) in one hand, and there's only one other hand left...
I liked the vid! But for the dating portion i feel like you should have a girl too giving their thoughts/opinions cause i know a lot of girls, me included, who would not have sex for a long while, especially not after a 3rd date. But there are some gals who are totally fine with that even on the first date, it really depends on their mindset and how they view dating/intimacy it's hard to generalize so getting more peoples perspective could give better insight imo
The guy was not 😦 of Korean culture. When he said not many ppl are on tinder in Korea and Kelsey soon replied back no I think most ppl in Korea are on tindere these days days, she looked kind of embarrassed
I'm glad to see you interact with someone mellow, many Koreans I've ever known have been outgoing, but mellow. I can't see why anyone would hate Korea, I've heard and seen many negative comments. .I guess I am boring to a woman as outgoing as you are. But, being outgoing and likeable as you are is disarming. Glad to see your videos. THANKS MUCHLY.
4:37 imagine they finding out that in Brazil is totally reasonable having sex in the first date lol Ps: not everybody have sex in the first date, actually I think the mostly part of people wouldn't but if it happened people wouldn't be shocked (at least the ones from my generation)
Even if you visit, id still see a plus in learning the language to not just socializing with foreigners. The idea of making Korean friends and being able to visit them, sounds reasonable as well. Like yeah im leaving but, ill be back. Kind of thing.
I'm glad I found you today....I do Not wear my shoes inside. They live at the front door & people think I'm weird...I don't care. Not saying I'm cleaner than you, just need to go barefoot inside. Plastic bags are kept by the door to cover their shoes, if they don't want to take their shoes off. 🙏💖💗💞
I think its more that people don't want to be backup plan, or waste time waiting for you if you will meet someone else, many times after 1 date i knew that i will be dating that girl and there was no point to plan any other. Also often girls would be angry when they heard that i talk with 1 or 2 other at same time.
There's also the key point that in Korea, a lot of the time the first date is the first time they meet(blind date), while in the US, I feel like there's already a vibe of liking each other and then they ask the other out... i could be wrong tho
As a woman, I find a lot of Korean women don't relate to me or have similar thinking or interests which is an issue. I've also had experience being verbally/mentally abused by power tripping Korean women. Other women also tend to talk bad about my body or face to make themselves feel good in public. What can you suggest for foreign women to find more compatible and kind women in Korea? I'm not a drama llama, dont party, have a long term relationship, try to be modest (clothes/personality)....🤷♀️ I don't mind male friends but East Asia seems to be against male-female platonic friendships.
It just seems like a no brainer to ask, "Is it okay to..." do whatever in a different setting than what you're accustomed to. Whether it's wearing shoes indoors, touching or whatever the emotion is. Politeness is always endearing.
I wish Western guys were more like Korean guys when it comes to touching and dating and sex. Sex expectations on the third date is BS. I don't know you yet, bro.
It's very harsh to call others trashy simply because they may hand someone something/receive something from someone with one hand. I've experienced people not wanting to touch my hand and will place the object on the counter. Obviously you've never experienced something like that or you wouldn't think the one hand thing was so trashy.
Quick story- I'm American and just got into K-Drama, but my friend recommended watching Itaewon Class. I literally waited until the 16th episode (last one) to watch the couple finally hold hands and kiss. Mid-way I kept asking my friend, are these two going to touch each other or not?! 💀😂
I don't know man. As a long term foreigner living in Japan who knows lots of other long term foreigners many of whom are fluent and all of whom are conversational level Japanese ability, I think ALL prefer a foreigner 'bubble'. Its more fun, more inclusive, way less of a hassle, easy to meet up and do things, everything is just way better. I think Kelsey herself mentioned that SHE is in a bubble of other english speaking Koreans, even though she is fluent in Korean!
As an American, I love touchy culture. It’s not sexual, for me. It’s just a matter of warmth, though respect for the boundaries if others is important.
I understand and have followed the two hand rule whenever possible, but feel like if Koreans are actually getting upset when foreigners don't follow that rule then that's just... ignorant? I mean when I was a teacher, Korean kids would shout "why" instead of "what" which was annoying, but I didn't necessarily consider them rude because culture/language differences.
I must be a really old fashioned American because hugging/kissing/sex just seems absolutely ridiculous to me as something that happens within days/weeks/months. None of what these two are talking about makes any sense to me. I definitely think it's inappropriate for a dude to touch me, let alone even try to kiss me before it's been like 2 months.
Hi, just a question: how does that fit together with the contribution of you and the girl from sweden and the experiences in the clubs? to point 1, touch
Dude you still alot got to learn..if a girl likes you she likes you..yeah culture has a role but when a girl is in to you she is in to you... Trust me on that..been living here in korea for 16 years..
I thought it was more common than not to keep your shoes on in the US, maybe that’s just certain states or the culture has changed? (Or maybe I was just simply wrong 🤷)
Yeah, I'm American and everyone I know wears their shoes in the house. I mean it's not required to take them off or anything and it's not considered rude if you don't
@@oliveb. Thanks for the reply, so I guess it depends on where in the states you live then? Here in Sweden we always take off our shoes by the door and it would be considered rude (and very weird) to just walk in with them still on. 😅 Doesn’t your floors get dirty really fast?
@@mikk5540 No. I mean most people I know have door mats at their entrances where you can wipe your shoes off on if necessary. Of course you would take off your shoes if you are wearing rain boots or if your shoes are covered in snow or mud for some reason. We clean our floors on a regular basis as a part of regular house cleaning.
In the US, shoes in the house is pretty much house by house. I don't wear shoes in my house, but that's how I grew up. My parents grew up in the country, where shoes weren't really worn much, unless it was winter or you were "going into town". So I just pretty much have that shoes off mentality. As for visiting others, some have you take your shoes off, some don't care either way.
I will go to Korea next month and i would really love to meet some Korean friends. But I've already been to Korea last year and some Koreans I met told me that many Koreans don't like to be friends with foreigners because most of them leave after some time 😕
Have another take on this topic with less dating tips 😁 like how u address people differently according to age/familiarity. Bowls me over, this one. I'm not sure if they (you? 😅) expect foreigners to follow the 'rule' to some extent?
In my own opinion. I believe it’s a matter of respect to the person you’re dating. Not to date more than one guy at a time. You can usually tell right away if the date is going well. If not, let them go and continue to finding another date. Thanks Kelsey 👍♥️
I never take my shoe off at people houses unless they ask me too. But my shoes are the first thing off when I get home because I hate shoes. In face I never wore shoe at all unless I was in school until I was 20.
The issue with Tinder in the US, at least from my experience, is that it's basically just really bad hookup culture. There's no real dating anymore... It's super depressing.
Why lots of korean are divorced!? Korean k drama is not real in korea. I watched some news about some korean girls because of money they married 3times.
Really interesting I would love to hear about more of his experiences so maybe you could invite him again? Like how he feels as a foreigner (if he is treated different), what about food etc. But what I didn't really understand was the point about foreigners speaking English. Like I mean nearly everyone from Europe knows how to speak English although it's not their mother tongue. Anyways I always wondered why most Koreans can't speak English though. (I'm not expecting Koreans to speak English but I'm just curious because I thought the SATs or whatever it's called are pretty difficult and also contain an English part? Maybe I'm wrong but that's what I've heard...
Europe is not the only region in the world... Also I guess you're talking about western or northern Europe, because for south and eastern Europe it's not true )
English education in Korea is mostly focused on reading. So most Koreans can read English, but can't talk in English. And, Most European languages, such as French, have a lot of similarities to English because of geographical reasons. So English is relatively easy for Europeans to learn. Also, about 95% of Korea's population is Korean, and of course about 95% speak Korean. There are not many foreigners in Korea. If it's not because of employment or travel, we usually don't feel the need to learn English.
I think in Europe it really depends on region and educational bubble, if a lot of people know English or not. Country vs. City and all that. But... I would have expected any European or other foreigner coming to Korea to speak English, even if it's not perfect. Like at least better than Korean, because who learns Korean before learning English anywhere in the world?
@@thirstwithoutborders995 I have friends from the former Soviet countries who speak Korean better then English. I guess they've learnt English, but never used it, but since they live in Korea now, they use Korean more. Also among my foreign classmates (they're all asian - Chinese, Thai, Vietnamese, Mongolian) basically no one knows English, but their Korean is good enough to study in the grad school. Now when I'm thinking about that, in my language school as well none of the asian students spoke English
Thanks for the tips. When I go visit, the last thing I want to be is a rude foreigner. I'm learning Korean and know the basic ethics that will help me a lot along the way.
Hi kelsey, totally love you girl..... So when It comes to dating in our country it's actually simular to the korean way of dating... Sex and kissing or pda only later after you get to know the person "3 date rule"... When it comes to Tinder, it doesn't really exist here.... We are very social people and we like to keep it that way... In our culture the 2 hand gesture is a must for receiving and giving no matter your age or status... The shoe rules is only applicable in certain households. Ooooh and just so by the way we do the Ghosting very well here too, so it's totally relatable lol🤣🤣🤣 Sending lots of love and wishes for the new year ahead, please stay safe, healthy and eat well. Love from SA 🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦
I live in Canada and when I was dating before I was married I never expected to kiss someone on the first date let alone sleep with someone on the third date. This must be a the way things are done by “some” people but I don’t think that’s for everyone.
Taking off your shoes when visiting someone - should you do it with your hands or (as we do it) casually with another foot? Is this some sign of disrespect or maybe you should not "get your hands dirty"?
The thing about having multiple dates in America isn’t really that accurate (I am American) If your in the talking stage (as in the stage where you’re kinda flirty with the other person, text a lot, maybe hangout some but not going out on actual dates) than yes it’s fine to talk to multiple people but if you are actually going out on official dates with a person it’s not ok to be going out with multiple people. A lot of Americans would definitely not be happy if they found out the person they were going on dates with was also going on dates with someone else. This is not just the region of live in either I have heard multiple people from different areas of the United States conform what I am saying.
about not using english w other foreigners,,, when i was in korea i went up to this family who very clearly looked like tourists (most likely chinese) and i ask them a question in korean but they didnt speak the language and then my taiwanese friend talks to them in mandarin and laughingly asks me after in english, "why did you speak to them in korean?" i replied with WE'RE IN KOREA. like of course i would speak korean to others even if they arent korean, im not gonna assume everyone speaks english. I also felt to useless bc if you dont know korean, knowing mandarin also might be helpful bc there were a lot of chinese ppl & i had mandarin speaking friends. but i only know english & spanish + broken korean, not very helpful in korea lol but knowing a language other than english IS helpful when trying to ignore korean advertisers on the street who try to speak to you in english
Even though in my family, we take off our shoes when we come in...Americans don't automatically take off their shoes when they enter other peoples homes...it would seem presumptuous!
Follow my insta to ask me direct questions about Korea as well💖: instagram.com/kelseyjeong_98
Everybody is not that intimate with each other on the 3rd date. Definitely depends on the individual.
After a third date, I'm not having sex with anyone....I'm American. I'm saying there are no specific rules. This guys perspective/rule is just his or his circles. There are no rules, it's your choice for your situation, your age, yourself!
Stop the cap , you know you’ll give it up on a first date for a Chad or Tyrone 😉
Ikr, it depends on the person and their values not so much the country imo
Right. After the third date I am not having sex neither. I think that Is moving a little to fast.
Exactly. I actually want to save myself for marriage.
@@sagekevin6473 found the incel
My advice to those that want to socialize with Koreans, join a martial arts gym, dance gym, or something like that. My friend joined a hip-hop dance gym and she loves it, made a bunch of Korean friends haha
I had a hard time making friends the first few months living in Busan. I tried joining an English club, going out trying to socialize to meet Korean people at the beach and stuff but it didn't really work out. My Korean is very basic so it's really hard to make Korean friends. I recently joined a Judo gym, I was the only foreigner there, and it was sort of weird but I made 2 really good friends. One speaks decent English and the other is as good at English as my Korean. I think they appreciate me trying to learn/speak Korean even though it's terribly broken haha. Plus, we all like drinking and martial arts so we have commonalities.
Also 12:45 ish, he's totally right. Once you make a few Korean friends, they'll introduce you to other friends maybe.
Do you live in Busan? Me too. Also trying to make some korean friends but by now not very lucky. Almost all the people I meet are foreigners. Let me join you guys for drinks (my korean is also not very good) xD
@@djtxorch3042 yeah I go to PNU
the temperature in the room confuses me, kelsey in a tank top and little lamb wearing a whole jacket lmaaao
Lmao
He is afraid of her
As someone with autism, I really liked the relationship things. No casual touching and people actually talking about how they feel is delightfully refreshing.
You can basically sum up Asia by saying they're all autistic.
Because 'autism' is just people who didn't develop western social skills. You know what's interesting is that I've found people who use labels like 'I'm autistic' or 'I'm gay' to describe themselves, that's because they're very uninteresting people with no identity desperately clinging to one thing that's different about themselves and using it to define their entire identity- even going so far as to use it as an excuse for inexcusable behaviours.
@@TheK-PopInPublicAuthority 0/10 failtroll
@@TheK-PopInPublicAuthority Next time you can just say you know nothing about autism.
Yeah, I'd fit in perfectly too.
@@TheK-PopInPublicAuthority what went wrong with you? Did you get to asia and get butthurt that they jump on you or something
haha it's interesting... I've lived in Korea for a while now and I found many people to be FAR touchier than back at home in the US. at least my female friends and coworkers always touch my shoulders or arms or even cuddle me almost, or like pick hair off of my clothing, etc. etc. to the point where it made me feel uncomfortable until I got used to it lol. I guess as far as hugging and female to male casual touching it's much less though... haha
Females touch other females a lot hehe
I live in Korea too and I think in the context of dating these touch rules are typical (though I have been in a long term relationship for years I know the male and female touch "rules")
If your a female and are friends (how Koreans define friends is another culture shock maybe K should do a video on THAT) but yes Korean females who you know and spend regular time with have zero physical boundaries haha link an arm hold hands etc it is jarring and sometimes I accidentally offend the females when I unconsciously withdraw haha at their touchiness
@@leannd9072 Oh can you please explain why you think how korean define friends is a culture shock ? I am very curious now^^
True. Same sex friends don't touch each other much in the US although I admit I live in what is technically a southern state and southerners are more huggy and touchy than people from other regions
Right physical contact between men and women coworkers is a no no. I have a guy friend who was molested by his girl coworker but he couldn’t do anything because of the women movement. They’re way more sensitive now that before.
I also feel like knowing some basic rules of the country is key. I visited korea twice and every time I used both hands or i spoke (basic) korean people were very kind to me and happy about the fact that I showed some respect towards their culture. Actually I felt like korean people were mostly very kind and welcoming.
About the shoes: I'm from germany and we also take our shoes off in the hallway. But if you want to go somewhere else soon or maybe the floor is very cold people can leave their shoes on. But it is up to the person who lives there to tell their guests if it is okay to leave the shoes on or not.
sane in my household if the floor is cold and the person isnt wearing socks so he can wear shoes sneakers inside even my mom told my cousin to do it cuz the floor was pretty cold btw i am indian
I’d love to know more about how friendships/close platonic relationships work in SK! ^^
I have Asperger’s and it freaks me out when someone starts touching me right away when I don’t know them. And if I ask them to stop, they usually get offended 😒 I wish people were more platonic, like you said
It's unfortunate that someone would get offended when they touched you without your consent. That's their mistake, not yours.
I get it. My oldest has Asperger's. Everyone needs boundaries.
@@dariang4725 thank you. It’s really difficult for me to know what’s appropriate, or what’s considered ‘normal,’ when doing things. I’ve wondered I was in the wrong.
I get what you're saying about people being offended, but the issue is that the discomfort with the touch goes against the social norm. Otherwise a person would have never touched them if that wasn't the social norm. Anytime people go against social norms, others become frustrated and confused by them. That's one reason why people on the spectrum who suffer with these issues can have isolation concerns. It's not really fair to ask the majority of other people to change their social norms even if in reality they should be understanding and patient with those struggling with them. I'm just explaining it to you in both ways. I'd personally not be bothered and aways back off if someone gets uncomfortable, but I'm also a natural toucher. I find myself touching to sooth nervous energy or to show my affection. If the person flinches or expresses discomfort I do feel initially very offended because I don't give my touch to just anybody and it's a social norm and encouraged for me as a woman to touch other people in this way. But I'm also educated and sensitive so I don't hold it against that person. It's their body and it's their preference. But you can see what I'm saying with my example, right?
Best wishes
Great video! Love the chemistry between you and "the American". You didn't even let him say his name..lol. I feel like in America, it is still the cultural norm to wear shoes in people's homes unless you are told otherwise. I grew up in Texas and I did have Asian friends where I did take off shoes before going into their homes. There are households that do set up shoe rooms (mud rooms) particularly if it snows or rains a lot. Maybe it is just me but I feel like Americans are more concerned about smelly socks/feet or people's feet condition as a reason not to make them expose their socks or feet if visiting. I feel like if I were to go to a friend's house to have dinner with friends, I wouldn't be expected to take my shoes off at all unless I was staying the night. Even then I would take off shoes in the guest bedroom.
Lol? They had no chemistry it’s really hard to miss
He's Swedish :) So thats why he doesnt know much about america. I think he lived there as well. no idea. its my second video from this channel im watching xd
I think wearing shoes in the house is a regional thing in the US. I'm from the midwest (Wisconsin) and I don't know anyone who wears shoes in the house.
@@mandala6969 yeah maybe it’s become my parents aren’t from america but even then i don’t wear shoes in my american friends houses either
his name is grant lol
Hey Kelsey, really useful video, thank you very much for it!🙏
But just one thing, when your guest was talking, you were cutting him off really often. Even when you were doing a statement,and he tried to react to it, you immediately cut him off, which is a little bit frustrating ( cause you know I kinda wanted to know the end of his explanations😅). But except that, you guys did awesome, I loved the chemistry!🥰
Agreed!
Agree with everything except for the chemistry 😄😄😄. Can we hear him speak next time?
I couldn’t keep watching the video because of this, it hurt me to see him being cut off like that so I only lasted 3 minutes… guess I’ll never know the don’ts of south korea
@@samia4766 lol I was really tempted to do the same,but I was more curious than annoyed 😅
I think they just have two different styles of talking. It didn’t bother me at all as it appeared to be just the flow of conversation between friends.
I'm from the south in the US and if you go to someone else's house and they don't have shoes on, you better take your damn shoes off. If it's my house I should have to ask someone to. Be observant and polite is how I feel about it.
I don't know if it's the same for most of the non-English speaking countries, but here in Italy, as much as in Korea (from what I've understood), you can't hang out with people who's from there and expect to speak English with them all the time.
In Italy, we can speak basic English, but it's kind of rude not to try learning the language and want people to speak English to you anywhere all the time.
If you're on vacation it's fine to rely on English but if you want to stay for a long time and hang out with people who're from there, you should start learning the language.
I understand that it's hard but people there have their own lives and they are not the ones who left their country so they might not be so interested in making a foreign friend.
If you want friends from the country you are in you'll have to try not to be only "the foreigner".
I know people could be more welcoming but that's the reality, if you don't do that, then it's going to be harder to fit in.
When it comes to dating (or anything for that matter) there's isn't a one size fits all for any culture or country. It depends on the individual and the specific situation. Yes counties have some differences in how they do things but that's only to a certain degree. From then on it solely depends on the person/people involved because of many things like how you grew up, morals, values, religion, personal choice/experience and so on...
The difference in America with wearing vs. not wearing shoes in the house is that it's more likely that you will take your shoes off if you live there, but less likely if you are a visitor to someone else's house. It could actually be considered to be rude to take your shoes off in someone's house that you're not very familiar with.
True.
@@soci_ni f
In Brazil there’s no rule whatsoever. We touch and hug people we don’t even know well, people kiss and have sex on the first date depending on the person, and you can go out on dates with someone for months or even years before you really consider that person your girlfriend or boyfriend. Of course it all depends on how “conservative” you and your date are. At parties, It’s also normal to kiss people without knowing them and without having the intention of ever seeing them again.
I don't even know how to explain to a korean what is "ficar". I think they will just blue screen.
Lol and you’re proud of that? I’d rather live in korea than Brazil then. You shouldn’t be too strict in life but you shouldn’t be shameless and stupid either.
@@bleach2618 I never said I am proud of it, I’m just stating the facts. And it’s not about being shameless and stupid, relationships happens according to our culture and our individual beliefs, not everyone in Brazil base their lives in those habits, but many people do, and here, acting like this isn’t something you should be ashamed of, cause everyone is free to exert their sexuality and romanticism as they wish, as long as your freedom doesn’t hurt other people. So you can live your life having sex with a different person every week or you can be a 23 year old virgin (like me) waiting for the right person.
I was looking for a similar comment. I’m from Argentina and this is also the case! Even in the US they do much less touching and are far less “casual” about relationships than we are. It’s kind of funny to see Kelsey shocked by US standards, I can only imagine how shocked she’d be from ours! 😅
@@bleach2618 Then stay in korea lmao. At least we have freedom to do what we want without being judged here. At least we are not oppressed.
I think a lot of countries think Americans routinely put our shoes on the furniture but I assure you my mom would have killed us if we put our shoes on the sofa. We were taught to take our shoes off before curling up on the sofa. When I went to Mexico for the first time, I did a homestay through the language school I was attending, and the family urged me to go ahead and put my feet on their sofa while I still had my shoes on. I got the impression it was part of cultural background training that they were taught Americans like to do that, but it is not true. There might be some families who fo that, but I always take my shoes off when I get home from work and put my favorite fuzzy socks on and wear those around the house. I don't wear shoes constantly. It's uncomfortable. Also I live in a state with a large rural population so maybe that has influence on that. People who live on farms out in the country especially have mud rooms where they leave their boots and shoes to keep from tracking dirt into the house. Maybe the culture is different in larger cities
Yeah.... Cultures where people take their shoes off when they go in the house.... They seem to think that people who don't take their shoes off must put their feet inside those shoes all over the furniture like they do in their socks.... But they don't. Most cultures that wear shoes inside the house people, people switch to slippers and take the feet out of the slippers to put them on the furniture. And if they don't take their shoes off at all they don't put their feet up at all. We're really mindful of our feet and germs.
The shoe thing is super regional/by household in America. In my experience, taking your shoes off at the door is almost universal in rural areas, but a lot less common in cities.
It is viewed as being honest in the US to let someone know you have multiple dates going on. It also lets the other person know hey if there is problem scheduling the second date its not a "soft no". However when I lived in Korea letting a date know that got me labeled Paramdoongi. Also I would recommend palm down when beckoning someone to come to you.
I mean... in finland according to my experiences and people i know, some people actually meet people in bars, have sex until they catch feelings. Like the starting point is physical touch etc. Until maybe the other person would consider the other person as a love interest. Idk to me its a bit weird but i also kind of understand it.
Edit: and the time that the "freinds with benefits" style of physical touch keeps going is really personal. It can go from a long bar night to going to bed the same night, leave early in the morning to home and maybe change phone numbers. Meet again for what ever reason (party, coffee, date) that can end in the bed too. And if things are going well and emotions are there the other person might ask to stay for breakfast and make plans for the rest of the day, who knows. It can take days, weeks or months.
This is common in the US as well!
Im sure theres more! Like i heard its rude to ask for a bigger portion. To ask for another plate. Carry your garbage with you. Theres no trashcans over there. Dont ever text/look down on your phone while walking . You step aside and let people pass on a walkway. Im curious about whats taboo in south korea. Or underground stuff. Great vid😁
As an American, I personally don’t like having sex until I know and like them well enough to decide to be in a relationship with them. That can take anywhere from like 1-3 months for me. But I feel like there’s a lot of pressure to have sex before committing in America. Makes it hard for me to date here since most men here want an idea of how you are in bed before having a proper mental & emotional bond first. I’m moving to Korea in a couple weeks. Maybe I’ll like the Korean dating style once I’m ready to put myself out there but idk! Lol even having sex after the 3rd date is too soon for me
Stop the cap ; you know you’ll have coitus on the first night if it’s a Chad or Tyrone 😉🤣. Also good luck on your trip because Africans aren’t welcomed nor do they have a very positive image in the Asian hemisphere ,don’t believe that narrative BTS pushes because it’s not true.I’m saving you the heart break so your welcome .🙏 🗿
I think it depends on the person, no matter the country. I think I’ve got similar values as u, u do u gurl.
@@sagekevin6473 stop being so judgemental :/ so what if she doesn’t want to give away the good on the first date?
@@owochocolate9298 I’m not knocking her because of her choice.Good for her idgaf if she does or doesn’t . What I’m saying is she shouldn’t lie to herself because most American women from what I’ve seen doesn’t have goods that are worth the wait😂🤣
@@sagekevin6473 all of these projections… sir, seek therapy ❤️
@4:49, to answer ur question. the whole reason americans date multiple people in the beginning is to pick the best fit. so by a certain period you would narrow things down to one exclusive person.
The way I was raised (in the US) is no shoes in the house and no barefeet, so we had to wear socks to keep the carpet clean. But if guests came over, they were not made to take shoes off. It is whatever the guest is comfortable with. I think that is the norm. It's not like Korea where everyone is expected to take them off and you have slippers people can borrow (great idea though!)
United States born and raised here! Everyone has to remove their shoes when they enter my house! It a hygiene thing for just about every one I know.
Imagine the list of things we would have to make a video of for people coming to 🇺🇸 catered per state or 🇲🇽 🥲🤣🤣🤣
Yeah. The shoe thing in America is very VERY case-by-case/ household-by-household.
I think for the most part most non-eastern households in the US take their shoes off when they get home mostly as a comfort thing. Like taking your bra off at the end of the day. But they also have no problem wearing shoes in the house in general. However if people are picky about shoes in their house it’s usually for a reason. Like if the weather is bad or they have nice floors they don’t want to get dirty. Growing up I had an aunt who never allowed shoes anywhere near her white carpets.
I myself hate sweeping and vacuuming so I do request that people take their shoes off before entering my home. But it’s not the cultural norm and I often let people come inside with shoes anyway. Especially if it’s a party or service providers.
Boy I could write a book on this subject. My wife is Korean and in 44 years together I'm an expert on the subject. A couple of things she considers bad luck are whistling in doors and also nervously shaking my leg or foot!
The touching thing depends on the community you are part in the US. The US is huge and some are open to affection between people on a date but others might not. My community, showing someone you like does not depend on physical touch. You gotta tell em first. If you try any physical before telling them, you could get labeled as weird or a strong distasteful reaction. I'm from a minority culture.
As an American we do not all have sex that quickly. It usually takes me months before I feel comfortable enough to be with someone like that. So absolutely not doing stuff like that on the third date lol
I like the Korean standards when it comes to dates. If your going on a date with me I want to be the only person your seeing. This is something I don't like about Western dating. Seeing multiple people, to me, means that I'm not the most important person to you.
I don't actually agree. I think that people should keep their options open but only during the casual stage of dating. And casual means no intimate acts so of course no sex.
I think it's a good idea to go on some simple and cheap dates with multiple people for about three dates.
But be mindful that you're planning to eliminate and find one person to stick to. That gives you options but not too many. It gives you a goal to work for. And it helps you respect the other person's time. By the fourth date things should be getting serious and there shouldn't be other contenders.
A culture of this needs develop! And people need to phrase it what it is. You're dating to find a boyfriend. Or you're dating for marriage. We need to stop letting sex be on the table and be an option because men will forever try to sleep with as many women as possible if they're allowed to. But if they have to marry the woman to sleep with her then they will marry the women. Men just have too many options and too many women who are willing to compromise themselves. That makes a women who don't want to behave in those ways feel like they have no choice and that's where most of our problems come from.
@@HadassaMoon144 I agree with you, what I said above was more of my personal opinion. Its on how I view my relationships; I like your comment of taking sex off the table and stating what purpose dating is for.
Dating more than one person sounds like a popular girl problem. This isn't a problem most of us guys have. Two girls liking me at the same time? Only happened once in highschool 20 years ago and never again since girls liking me is so rare haha.
Nice video, though I felt a little bad for your friend, didn't even introduced him with his name and it felt like when he wanted to explain something you were cutting him off...
Yes, she is a talker. That is why she has a utube channel.
I'm an American, and I have always lived in "shoes off" households. Most people I know who wear shoes in the house have dirty houses that you wouldn't want to walk on the floor with bare feet. But those people are few and far between. In TV shows, I think they show shoes-on most of the time, because actors and actresses appear more stylish or put-together. It's a fashion thing. Especially if the actress needs to wear heels to correct a major height differential with the other actors. Don't judge all Americans by what you see on TV, because we don't live that way.
That’s just where you live because a majority of Americans will wear shoes in the house.
@@taegan1831 I don’t know. I’ve lived all over the US. Agree to disagree?
@@taegan1831 False! I wasn’t raised that way! I also remove my shoes when I go to someone else’s home UNLESS the floor is dirty.
@@Christina2180 just because you specifically weren’t raised that way does not mean it’s false lmao
I don’t know if it’s because I’m Asian American but I could not relate to a lot of the things the American guy said. I guess it just depends on your ethnicity and how/where you were raised in the states. I’m not having sex with anyone after 3 dates. I hate being touched and don’t like to touch others. I was raised with the two hand and shoes off rule. I do like they they mentioned not to assume that all foreigners can speak English bc I could def see many Americans thinking that.
Fine. I subscribed because of the sales pitch. Lol. Great content!
It's weird that it's pretty similar in India too like almost all the stuff you said also applies here
I think it might be an Asian thing??
Even here boys don't touch you until you're like really really comfortable and friendly..
People on Tinder are judged here too..
And other stuff too
Nah, many Americans walk around the house with shoes on. I only started taking them off after making a friend who took them off. Now, I still do it, but usually if I'm in a rush and is otherwise bare footed.
I'm not sure what kind of Western women he's dated, but most women I know, do not expect a kiss by the third date. *But THE MEN DO* and it's so annoying🥲
Kels what the heck … I’m seeing a lot of comments about this already but I think it’s important that it’s brought to your attention. I really hated watching this video, I normally really enjoy your personality on camera but you were really rude in this one. Why have a guest if you’re not going to let him speak? He kept his cool so well, I’d have told you to stfu while I’m talking 😂😅😅😅 This video would have been so good, especially if he had the opportunity to talk more.
A lot of useful tips! Going to stay in Seoul for a month this year to learn more Korean. Would love tips on where to go and what do to for a first timer & how to meet people
I want to make precious memories too! It’s a little bit scary to know that Koreans are standoffish to foreigners but Im coming anyway. I already learned Hangul. I can read and write Korean now I need to speak !
am i the only one who noticed that she cut him off alot in this video so i hope that you let him speak more and complete his sentences
Sorry was trying to portion control😓😓
Yeah true I felt like he wasn't able to say much so please do another video with him 😃
@@KelseytheKorean Also, credit your guest. What's his name? His social media details (if he wants to share). This aside, I like your content and look forward to more.
I think it was because he's not very efficient or concise when he's speaking. He kind of rambles instead getting to the point. I actually found it hard to listen to him.
@@catharinewebb5020 well in contrast to her behavior, he was being really respectful and listened without interrupting her
Thank you for the tip N 6 with 2 hands...I didn't know it.I'll use it definitely if I come to Korea.
Kelsey had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb...
This is some good content. Finally a strong Korean woman who tells it like it is.
Awesome info about Korean culture💯💯💯
Thumbs up for you👍👍👍. Thanks for your video
Love your channel💐💐💐
damn, i'm from South Africa and we touch all the time, like hugging when you first meet someone and everytime you meet them. its part of greeting
I definitely did not know about the tinder rules until I came to your channel! I am Mexican but grew up in Asia (not Korea) and I definitely had a problem with the ‘no social touching’ part; I’ve got some pretty funny stories of me messing up and making dudes uncomfortable ^^’. I understand it is culture and I slowly learnt but sometimes I still mess up as it is ingrained in my Latina culture and also..well I am an affectionate person by nature. What I love about Asian culture is that it is 100% ok to be touchy with you same-sex friends cuz back in the West people get very annoying about that :/
Would love to hear what he had to say! So fun
There is NO obligation to have sex with someone after 3 dates. Depending on the relationship you can have sex very soon or MONTHS from now in the US.
i always wondered about the holding things with two hands etiquette when i visited korea, because a lot of the time i was holding my phone (to use maps and papago) in one hand, and there's only one other hand left...
I liked the vid! But for the dating portion i feel like you should have a girl too giving their thoughts/opinions cause i know a lot of girls, me included, who would not have sex for a long while, especially not after a 3rd date. But there are some gals who are totally fine with that even on the first date, it really depends on their mindset and how they view dating/intimacy it's hard to generalize so getting more peoples perspective could give better insight imo
The guy was not 😦 of Korean culture. When he said not many ppl are on tinder in Korea and Kelsey soon replied back no I think most ppl in Korea are on tindere these days days, she looked kind of embarrassed
I'm glad to see you interact with someone mellow, many Koreans I've ever known have been outgoing, but mellow. I can't see why anyone would hate Korea, I've heard and seen many negative comments. .I guess I am boring to a woman as outgoing as you are. But, being outgoing and likeable as you are is disarming. Glad to see your videos. THANKS MUCHLY.
4:37 imagine they finding out that in Brazil is totally reasonable having sex in the first date lol
Ps: not everybody have sex in the first date, actually I think the mostly part of people wouldn't but if it happened people wouldn't be shocked (at least the ones from my generation)
Even if you visit, id still see a plus in learning the language to not just socializing with foreigners. The idea of making Korean friends and being able to visit them, sounds reasonable as well. Like yeah im leaving but, ill be back. Kind of thing.
I'm glad I found you today....I do Not wear my shoes inside. They live at the front door & people think I'm weird...I don't care. Not saying I'm cleaner than you, just need to go barefoot inside. Plastic bags are kept by the door to cover their shoes, if they don't want to take their shoes off. 🙏💖💗💞
And here I am with shoes on laying on the bed watching this…
I think its more that people don't want to be backup plan, or waste time waiting for you if you will meet someone else, many times after 1 date i knew that i will be dating that girl and there was no point to plan any other. Also often girls would be angry when they heard that i talk with 1 or 2 other at same time.
There's also the key point that in Korea, a lot of the time the first date is the first time they meet(blind date), while in the US, I feel like there's already a vibe of liking each other and then they ask the other out... i could be wrong tho
I agree. By the time I meet people in person I've talked to them a lot already
I cringed when he said an American girl probably wants a kiss on the first date and then sex by the third date. Generally speaking that is NOT true.
As a woman, I find a lot of Korean women don't relate to me or have similar thinking or interests which is an issue. I've also had experience being verbally/mentally abused by power tripping Korean women. Other women also tend to talk bad about my body or face to make themselves feel good in public. What can you suggest for foreign women to find more compatible and kind women in Korea?
I'm not a drama llama, dont party, have a long term relationship, try to be modest (clothes/personality)....🤷♀️ I don't mind male friends but East Asia seems to be against male-female platonic friendships.
It just seems like a no brainer to ask, "Is it okay to..." do whatever in a different setting than what you're accustomed to. Whether it's wearing shoes indoors, touching or whatever the emotion is. Politeness is always endearing.
I wish Western guys were more like Korean guys when it comes to touching and dating and sex. Sex expectations on the third date is BS. I don't know you yet, bro.
It's very harsh to call others trashy simply because they may hand someone something/receive something from someone with one hand. I've experienced people not wanting to touch my hand and will place the object on the counter. Obviously you've never experienced something like that or you wouldn't think the one hand thing was so trashy.
Lol I wish Kelsey let her guest speak (was his name Grant?) my bad. But this was fun to watch!
I love how refreshing your perspective on dating is
No one gets sex from me until I am married
Nice to see a little traditionalist views in a broken world.
@@frankcrosby6222 thanks
I know it’s besides the point of this video but he looks so adorable
Every household I ever went to or been we were shoes through the house 😆 😆
Quick story- I'm American and just got into K-Drama, but my friend recommended watching Itaewon Class. I literally waited until the 16th episode (last one) to watch the couple finally hold hands and kiss. Mid-way I kept asking my friend, are these two going to touch each other or not?! 💀😂
I don't know man. As a long term foreigner living in Japan who knows lots of other long term foreigners many of whom are fluent and all of whom are conversational level Japanese ability, I think ALL prefer a foreigner 'bubble'. Its more fun, more inclusive, way less of a hassle, easy to meet up and do things, everything is just way better. I think Kelsey herself mentioned that SHE is in a bubble of other english speaking Koreans, even though she is fluent in Korean!
As an American, I love touchy culture. It’s not sexual, for me. It’s just a matter of warmth, though respect for the boundaries if others is important.
I understand and have followed the two hand rule whenever possible, but feel like if Koreans are actually getting upset when foreigners don't follow that rule then that's just... ignorant? I mean when I was a teacher, Korean kids would shout "why" instead of "what" which was annoying, but I didn't necessarily consider them rude because culture/language differences.
I must be a really old fashioned American because hugging/kissing/sex just seems absolutely ridiculous to me as something that happens within days/weeks/months. None of what these two are talking about makes any sense to me. I definitely think it's inappropriate for a dude to touch me, let alone even try to kiss me before it's been like 2 months.
Hi, just a question: how does that fit together with the contribution of you and the girl from sweden and the experiences in the clubs? to point 1, touch
It’s called body language, ☺️
Dude you still alot got to learn..if a girl likes you she likes you..yeah culture has a role but when a girl is in to you she is in to you... Trust me on that..been living here in korea for 16 years..
I thought it was more common than not to keep your shoes on in the US, maybe that’s just certain states or the culture has changed? (Or maybe I was just simply wrong 🤷)
Yeah, I'm American and everyone I know wears their shoes in the house. I mean it's not required to take them off or anything and it's not considered rude if you don't
@@oliveb. Thanks for the reply, so I guess it depends on where in the states you live then?
Here in Sweden we always take off our shoes by the door and it would be considered rude (and very weird) to just walk in with them still on. 😅
Doesn’t your floors get dirty really fast?
@@mikk5540 No. I mean most people I know have door mats at their entrances where you can wipe your shoes off on if necessary. Of course you would take off your shoes if you are wearing rain boots or if your shoes are covered in snow or mud for some reason.
We clean our floors on a regular basis as a part of regular house cleaning.
In the US, shoes in the house is pretty much house by house. I don't wear shoes in my house, but that's how I grew up. My parents grew up in the country, where shoes weren't really worn much, unless it was winter or you were "going into town". So I just pretty much have that shoes off mentality. As for visiting others, some have you take your shoes off, some don't care either way.
Yes we do
I will go to Korea next month and i would really love to meet some Korean friends. But I've already been to Korea last year and some Koreans I met told me that many Koreans don't like to be friends with foreigners because most of them leave after some time 😕
Have another take on this topic with less dating tips 😁 like how u address people differently according to age/familiarity. Bowls me over, this one. I'm not sure if they (you? 😅) expect foreigners to follow the 'rule' to some extent?
Default to proper or respectful language is my rule. If you're not sure, it's always good to be respectful.
In my own opinion. I believe it’s a matter of respect to the person you’re dating. Not to date more than one guy at a time. You can usually tell right away if the date is going well. If not, let them go and continue to finding another date.
Thanks Kelsey 👍♥️
I never take my shoe off at people houses unless they ask me too. But my shoes are the first thing off when I get home because I hate shoes. In face I never wore shoe at all unless I was in school until I was 20.
How desperate you gotta be to join those sites. Tinder or any online dating sites are trash!
From watching singles inferno - the dating there looks so different from here……
Kelsey do a commentary on single's inferno
The issue with Tinder in the US, at least from my experience, is that it's basically just really bad hookup culture. There's no real dating anymore... It's super depressing.
Why lots of korean are divorced!? Korean k drama is not real in korea.
I watched some news about some korean girls because of money they married 3times.
Really interesting I would love to hear about more of his experiences so maybe you could invite him again? Like how he feels as a foreigner (if he is treated different), what about food etc.
But what I didn't really understand was the point about foreigners speaking English. Like I mean nearly everyone from Europe knows how to speak English although it's not their mother tongue. Anyways I always wondered why most Koreans can't speak English though. (I'm not expecting Koreans to speak English but I'm just curious because I thought the SATs or whatever it's called are pretty difficult and also contain an English part? Maybe I'm wrong but that's what I've heard...
Europe is not the only region in the world... Also I guess you're talking about western or northern Europe, because for south and eastern Europe it's not true )
@@koreabymi yeah of course I know there are also ppl from other continents, but they explicitly mentioned Europe that's why I wrote that
English education in Korea is mostly focused on reading. So most Koreans can read English, but can't talk in English.
And, Most European languages, such as French, have a lot of similarities to English because of geographical reasons. So English is relatively easy for Europeans to learn.
Also, about 95% of Korea's population is Korean, and of course about 95% speak Korean. There are not many foreigners in Korea. If it's not because of employment or travel, we usually don't feel the need to learn English.
I think in Europe it really depends on region and educational bubble, if a lot of people know English or not. Country vs. City and all that.
But... I would have expected any European or other foreigner coming to Korea to speak English, even if it's not perfect. Like at least better than Korean, because who learns Korean before learning English anywhere in the world?
@@thirstwithoutborders995 I have friends from the former Soviet countries who speak Korean better then English. I guess they've learnt English, but never used it, but since they live in Korea now, they use Korean more. Also among my foreign classmates (they're all asian - Chinese, Thai, Vietnamese, Mongolian) basically no one knows English, but their Korean is good enough to study in the grad school. Now when I'm thinking about that, in my language school as well none of the asian students spoke English
Thanks for the tips. When I go visit, the last thing I want to be is a rude foreigner. I'm learning Korean and know the basic ethics that will help me a lot along the way.
Your friend dared you to make a tinder profile?! I'm deadd 😂😂😂😂
I can’t wait to go and practice my koreannnnnnnn and meet new people
Americans with shoes on the bed!!!! Yeahhh been wondering about that too! Hhaha
Hi kelsey, totally love you girl..... So when It comes to dating in our country it's actually simular to the korean way of dating... Sex and kissing or pda only later after you get to know the person "3 date rule"... When it comes to Tinder, it doesn't really exist here.... We are very social people and we like to keep it that way... In our culture the 2 hand gesture is a must for receiving and giving no matter your age or status... The shoe rules is only applicable in certain households. Ooooh and just so by the way we do the Ghosting very well here too, so it's totally relatable lol🤣🤣🤣
Sending lots of love and wishes for the new year ahead, please stay safe, healthy and eat well. Love from SA 🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦
I live in Canada and when I was dating before I was married I never expected to kiss someone on the first date let alone sleep with someone on the third date. This must be a the way things are done by “some” people but I don’t think that’s for everyone.
no social touching is also in pakistan
Taking off your shoes when visiting someone - should you do it with your hands or (as we do it) casually with another foot? Is this some sign of disrespect or maybe you should not "get your hands dirty"?
Two hands? How did Korea not get wiped out by Covid?
The thing about having multiple dates in America isn’t really that accurate (I am American) If your in the talking stage (as in the stage where you’re kinda flirty with the other person, text a lot, maybe hangout some but not going out on actual dates) than yes it’s fine to talk to multiple people but if you are actually going out on official dates with a person it’s not ok to be going out with multiple people. A lot of Americans would definitely not be happy if they found out the person they were going on dates with was also going on dates with someone else. This is not just the region of live in either I have heard multiple people from different areas of the United States conform what I am saying.
about not using english w other foreigners,,, when i was in korea i went up to this family who very clearly looked like tourists (most likely chinese) and i ask them a question in korean but they didnt speak the language and then my taiwanese friend talks to them in mandarin and laughingly asks me after in english, "why did you speak to them in korean?" i replied with WE'RE IN KOREA. like of course i would speak korean to others even if they arent korean, im not gonna assume everyone speaks english.
I also felt to useless bc if you dont know korean, knowing mandarin also might be helpful bc there were a lot of chinese ppl & i had mandarin speaking friends. but i only know english & spanish + broken korean, not very helpful in korea lol
but knowing a language other than english IS helpful when trying to ignore korean advertisers on the street who try to speak to you in english
Even though in my family, we take off our shoes when we come in...Americans don't automatically take off their shoes when they enter other peoples homes...it would seem presumptuous!