For me the most painful piece has been realizing that he didn’t love me enough to fight for us. He just walked away. I never want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me, and isn’t willing to put in the work to make it a solid, healthy relationship. Glad I figured it out now, but it still stings.
I'm in that situation right now... My actions to make my mistakes and thus our relationship better, he became more distant. He's an avoidant and I somehow still think he's coming back to me - and everyone I love keeps telling me I have to let him go because he leaves me feeling like nothing... Like a failure... Like I'm not even a bit important :( guess there's some trauma bond in this mix as well. Don't wish it on anyone. It sure stings when they don't love or appreciate you.
You have expressed exactly the situation I found myself in after nearly 5 years. I had to bring myself to walk away but he made absolutely no effort to right things or, as you say, "fight for us" (words I actually said to him at our last meeting) It hurt me so deeply but thankfully my mindset has shifted after nearly a year and I am ready and able now to find someone who will treat me better.
@@mimi-vh3qq same thing just happened to me.... it feels like a blessing to me now that l released him mentally. Level up your requirements for next guy. "We have to learn how to separate the way WE feel about them vs. the way they make US feel being in the relationship" (matthew hussey) 2 very different things.
Same situation, I know I deserve better but I’m having a hard time getting over this. Especially since he moved on so quickly without trying to work things out
1. Free the relationship in your mind. Let it go. Cleanse your space. 2. Find your peace. Grieve it. Forgive. 3. Flourish. Build your best life. 4. Finish that goal. 5. Focus on the new. Good advice in general for living whether it involves a breakup or not.
The lies, cheating and Betrayal was really tough. I even started questioning myself, what went wrong. I give my all to the point I left nothing for myself. This time, I will love myself more. 😢❤❤❤
I'm so sorry. Unfortunately I'm going through that right now. Married 18 yrs and never knew there was a problem until he came home at 3am one night. Yep he cheated and destroyed us.
Lying and cheating isn't your fault. How a man treats women is on him. People have patterns. It's spotting the patterns and identifying red flags when you meet. Hardball interrogate men. 2 questions that will scare 90%of men away. What does committment look like and mean to you? What does a relationship look like and mean to you? Trust no one until they prove it. The book 8 Dates is a great read. Asking a guy if he has any references from exes is another good question. Scares the heck out of them. Dating is not for fun if you want a partner. We are often attracted to the familiar . Someone who resembles our parents. Important to know what you want and have definate dealbreakers. People show you who they are. A great podcast with Coach Kenneth Craig. We are attracted to the familiar and Understanding attachment styles. Most men have an avoidant attachment.
@@joannaplummer-os3xj Hi Joanna. Thank you. I hope you're doing well. Women need to date like Power Rangers. May the force be with you! Date like a detective. 🇨🇦
1.Free the relationship in your mind 2.Find peace-do the work 3.Flourish in your best life with habits. When you’re growing you’re glowing 4. Finish that goal 5. Focus on the new
Forgiving someone after betrayal was especially tough, imo it's one of the worst ways to get heartbroken. Not only it tears the relationship down to the core but it can also be damaging to the person who received the treatment leaving them feeling traumatized and losing their trust with starting anew eventually. Take your time to recover and process the feelings. It may be painful, but once you get over it, you'll be a stronger and wiser person than who you already are. Just sharing a bit of my advice about forgiveness: Forgiveness doesn't mean you'll forget someone's misdeeds, forgetting is silly because you need that knowledge so the same thing doesn't happen again Forgive as a literal word, it is to let go and just let that person have what they took away from you. It just mean to let things be while slowly letting go of the pain and resentment you had no matter how painful it was. Think of this not because of karma, but think of this as a way to set yourself free from the pain. We can't let this person take more of our energy and time away from us. You deserve living a better life enjoying the things that makes you happy. Forgive others and yourself to be free. Don't let the past rob your present. I wish you love and healing!
Forgive yourself. Not every betrayal requires forgiveness and certainly you don't forget how someone treats you. Without trust there is no relationship.
Great! I think is important to never put a guy on the pedestal or make him the centre of your life. Let him prove his love over a period of time and invest himself a lot.
I have made myself a promise that I refuse to ever want him back again in my life. Even if he becomes the most transformed human being alive on this earth, not even then. He had his chance and he made it clear that he does not know how to appreciate that chance. He wasn't even willing. And here I was all way into the water. Now I am giving love (even more 🫶) to myself for which I was looking outside, believing it is on the outside.
Ugh same girl, stay strong! It's hard because I just want a hug from him, and then I remember that I'm just attached to someone who isn't even who I thought he was and am disgusted I ever put up with him. The song Flowers by Miley Cyrus is so beautiful and healing, I recommend going to give it a listen💖
After a breakup, the best thing you can do is move on. Reflect what went wrong. Learn from it and ladies cut all contact. Do not follow him on social media. Nothing. Block him. Take your time. Do not rush into another relationship. See it as an opportunity to find new hobby's, working on your skills, career, making new friends... Do not take him back. Never. Waste of time. 95% chance for a 2nd breakup. I hate to say it, but a lot of Guys (especially when they know, you still care) will just use you for sex.
If a man didn't talk to me for couple of weeks bocz of his situation. And aftr dat he cme back to me means can I accept him or not...😢😢 but I can't without his cal and text. But he didn't 😢..can anybdy tell
I hope so! I always felt like this one area of my life I can never really figure out! I know that I am beautiful/pretty, kind, intelligent and I think I'd make a good, responsible wife and mother just like I was lucky enough to expereince growing up with my own mother! However, it sadly always takes two. I also know how to cook well and keep learning new tricks in the kitchen so I really don't understand what happend with my last relationship. I loved/really liked a lot of what he was about! Guess it wasn't that mutual sadly.. I am almost 40. I just hope it isn't too late for me to meet the right one. He was only 9 months older and caucasian so I really didn't understand how he could so coldly leave my life...after what I thought was one of the happiest/happier times in our lives, at least in MY life... I was hoping it was his too!
I’m in pain right now hopefully it can help me to heal from the pain😭i lost my energy I really don’t know where should I start.all I want now is to relieve the pain in my heart cause by man I trusted everything.
Watching this, I realised I needed to forgive and let go of a friendship that ended abruptly. This is very helpful. I don't want him to suffer, because I know our friendship was good and I know he would be suffering. Letting go is the hardest part. I liked what you said about that relationship no longer being available, it is so true.
Transform pain into something greater! Wow👍❤️ 1. Release 2. Peace 3. Grow 4. Finish that Goal (a book to write, a trip to take, a business to start) 5. Focus on the New
Bro you're reading me like a book.... You've gotten me through a tough break up and now he's all over me but its no hard feelings I moved on and I wish him well... Sadly that brotha can't handle lol ....i love every word you're saying PERIOD PERIOD ON PERIOD
This method truly does work. Focusing on bettering yourself & working on yourself & just enjoying your life truly does make you a beacon that draws all the moths to your flame.
My deepest feelings do not often come immediately, so the grieving step especially is taking time. I felt that being with him improved me, so I miss him a lot right now. Thank you for these nudges away from repetitive rumination.
Matt oh My GOD ❤ this wisdom, the tone of your voice, the clarity you bring us, the intention you set in the message it is really powerful and aways on time! You are like an Angel giving us the best in ur word. Thanks a lot for encourage us all woman to be our best selves. Bless you. ❤
I really needed this and there was not better time than now. I choose to release, forgive, flourish, finish my goal and fully transform. Thank you for this ‼️I will need to have this on repeat for daily reminders.
Update: Mat, following your thinking was the crucial thing to do in my (see below) case. Me and my M47 continued the comm, but I put away my emotions. And continued dating other people. The result? He asked me recently to move in together. I am happy, you know I am, but - I am taking my time to think :) Thank you, Mat, you're a real friend :)
7:57 oh gosh! This is so true. I haven’t been in the gym etc for years and I crave it. I feel it will shift my life since I’ve been single for 13 years.
Just found him cheating on our marital bed yesterday. I can't sleep the whole night. Been practicing calmness but am breaking inwardly. Thanks for your kind words
I really needed to hear this today. Your words are a reflection of how I have been feeling and what I know deep down that I need to do in order to feel I have some control back in my life. I feel I’ve lost someone so close to me but more importantly I’ve lost myself and need to find the person I once was. Thanks for this
The most important element for my best life is finishing school and starting my career. I want to save money and get my own place and know I can rely on myself! From there I want to add in hobbies and goals to enrich my time when I’m not working: like writing, traveling, yoga/Pilates/martial arts. Just always learning more and more and having fun!
I don't want anybody to regret missing me. I want them to be happy, really happy. Life is all about going with the flow. Wish peace for them and turn the chapter. ❤🎉
If he's not happy with why me, I have to deserve him, hell? If I don't provide him happiness, fun, make him laugh, change his life for better, make him grow spiritually mentally and financially, desire. why do I have to be around him? Love is let the person be happy even you know that that person doesn't choose to be with you. It hurts to see him go with someone else, but it hurts more to see that you're giving him hard time and not fun times checking his phone waiting for someone else who makes him smile and jumps of happiness because he saw that text. Making plans to make someone else happy when that specific person is in needed and you just watching how happy he feels with her and with you is only bored and a yes or no talk. Being indifferent to your needs but with others is available and happy. Is better to lose than living miserable.. creating fantasies in the mind
I needed this today. I'm not in a broken relationship but I feel off-kilter. He's almost perfect, everything I thought I'd never find again. He's a genuinely loving and caring person and lately I've been feeling sad. I realized that I'm going to cool this off for me. I don't want to hurt him but I don't want to feel sad. Maybe he's nervous about betraying his dead wife. She's been gone for 23 years. I respect that and won't interfere with his grief, which I think is what he's going through now that there's a possibility of happy-ever-after with someone else. I'm extremely in love with him but I need to know I'm the one he can love free of past memories. He can have them but I don't want them to interfere with our happiness. Anyway, thank you for this. The timing for me to see it was just right.
I hope you feel better by now. The right person is someone who chooses to be with us. It takes courage to say no to someone who looks perfect for us but not right for us.
Thank you for sharing Mat, you are amazing! 🥰 For me, healing and feel the pain (takes time) then self care and focus on positive and practice gratitude every day. A new project or goals helps a lot too, the last F”😉
Dear Mat, yours is the best crying shoulder I (F 63) could have hoped for ... and you guess right, it happened today. I've realized this relationship was not what I needed. Although he IS my dream man (M 47). We are so similar that it is scarry - both Aquarians, born on the same day, both writers, philosophers, spiritual souls, midnight talkers, both with a mission to heal the world. And yet - with different needs regarding the relationship. I understood one thing - if I am in a relationship and feeling lonely, that's not it. It took me 6 months to understand, to decide to confront the issue, and to talk it through which I did today. Luckily he is a marvelous person, so we understood each other well. And very probably we will remain friends. This hurts, you know it does. But pain makes us alive, learning life and still kicking :) Thanks for being here for us :)
Mat,Ive been following you sice years, and allow me to say:YOU ARE GLOWING,COZ YOU ARE GROWING. You realy are, We are very gateful for all ur care,wisdom and love we recieved from you. Looking forward to see more from you in the future. God blesd u 🙏♥️
See I find that these videos work not only for personal life but for professional. I have recently been betrayed to and lied to by my boss. I find incredibly attractive and heaps in common but then he lied to me and that is something I'm truly devastated about as I thought this could be the real deal I might have a chance of finding my happily ever after. But now I'm finding myself in a tough spot as I know my employment may not be secured and its a job I absolutely love. So this will help me get over him and live my best life. Thank you Mat and all those reading to allow me to vent. Have a great day/evening and life your life the best you can and keep smiling.
Thank you for this beautiful video. I just had a break up. Right now I'm on the moving and healing stage. I told myself I'll make myself better.God bless us all.
It's been 3 years since we broke up for the 2nd time. I should never have let him dismiss me. He msgd this new year and I know he feels our connection. I was due to marry someone else but I couldn't. Every time I start something new he's there in my mind and then as if he can read my mind he msgs. I've even moved over 2 hours away. He's still there. I am flourishing and I'm focusing on my new endeavours but he's always there 🥰
Thanks for the advice, I recently told my boyfriend to give ourselves some time. Since we have been together for 2 years and I do not see the relationship moving further. Both of us have been divorced. He said that he feels not ready to get married, and he is not sure if he ever will. So I made the decision to let go. Thanks for your video. I want to have someone that will be there for me all the way. He told me that he did not wanted to be apart but he understands. I myself want someone that is sure of his feelings, and the love he has for me.
Oh did I need to hear and see this! Thanks again Mat! 🙏🏽✨ Definitely a much needed wake up call! Seems like I’m on the right track with with Steps 3,4,5 focusing on myself but haven’t completely free the relationship and found peace quite yet but almost there. This definitely nudges it further along sooner and that’s everything! 🫶❤️ Much love and light to you and Irene always! ✨
This is actually sage ek vice and I will apply it to my everyday life. Thanks for this empowering video. Please do keep them coming and keep on being you're amazing self.
I have listened to your channel andit has seen me through a divorce and an amazing new relationship which turned into a marriage. This video is excellent because it is very positive and will get the exact results desired. Just because it doesn't happen overnight doesn't mean it will not happen. I try to remain friendly with all of my sexes. Nothing more than a note on a Birthday or congratulations when I hear some good news about them. My ex finished a goal I put him on when we were together. When I told him my heartfelt congrats he asked if it was enough for me to take him back. . I am happy I had good advice.
Thank you so much Matt What an amazing way to handle a situation. I’ve not experienced a break up. But a end to communication. That is a negativity to these devices we use and distance mileage wise from the other. I needed to hear this today. Thank you deeply.
Ouch. This ex of mine did five months of dating me and wooing me basically BUILDING with me dreams and a future together to nothing. Such an asshole/dick. Even said he couldn't love someone like me in the end 😞. Like there was anything WRONG with the way I was 😞.
This is a tough one; my daughter is around a lot of "sports" types (high school version). She wasn't used to this at first; but they are big flirts. But, it doesn't mean anything. So I've tried to warn her how they are. How not to give one of these guys too much of your time. So now she frequents the location, not the guy. If it's football, if it's ice skating; make it about the event. That way the guy won't keep you from wanting to go to the places you like to go. I've been able to be a constant for her so she's not so affected by this stuff. That lightness your talking about; yep, that's the goal.
Wow - I totally teared up at "Finish that goal". I have been trying to finish my doctorate for years - now I got dumped, this is the time to do it. Thank you 😊
I am still living in the same house with my ex. I am not financially able to move. We have seperate rooms but his presence has a hold on me and I am reminded of tje loneliness every morning I wake and he is gone and every night I go to bed alone with him in the next room. I need distractions, I need friends, and activities. I tried some online things and its mostly fabricated. At least it feels that way! Im losing my mind and its testing my self worth!
Hi everyone: This stuff is soooo true. I had a ex who literally begged to come back to me. But I moved on..!! So much is I don't even say his name. I think I've been through the 1st or 2nd one. I do the 2nd one alot. Like I literally said " I'm done with guys for awhile. I'm going to conquer my goals." Conquering my goals has been the best thing for me. Cuz now I have 2 small businesses & I'm being taught more than I would've thought.
If a man didn't talk to me for couple of weeks bocz of his situation. And aftr dat he cme back to me means can I accept him or not...😢😢 but I can't without his cal and text. But he didn't 😢..can anybdy tell
I felt my feelings grieve the loss I always remember if it's not him it's somewhat even better so I gave myself time and started to heal as I'm healing I'm writing down all the stuff I want in a man the stuff I knew I deserved I just kept telling myself I know he's out there and all this pain will make me stronger if that's the best he could do he did me a favor by walking away now 2 months later I met an absolutely amazing man he is everything I wrote down and so much more I'm so grateful for him every day I'm so glad I was patient with myself I'm very proud of myself for all the work I have done to heal learn and grow thank you so much your videos have really helped me in so many ways ❤🥰🙏
Thanks a lot, I experiencing right now. I don't know to start again but I watched your video and it wake me up. I asked myself, why I need to cry with him?If he doesn't care my feelings.
If he ever calls me. I will tell him to fly a kite. I dont want anyone who did make me be a priority. Karma is real. I forgive and release but stay away from me. Amazing advice Matt. Thank you
Awesome Matt, great tips. I can so relate to these tips. I had been through a tough divorce and I did the work of finding exactly who I am without the title of being a wife. Here are some things I have accomplished: 1. I published three books 2. I’m in my best body, I’ve lost over 30Lbs 3. I’m back into banking as a titled officer 4. My spiritual senses have been heightened, enlightened and unleashed. 5. I’ve been out of homelessness in a beautiful home I co-owned with family 6. I have written a vision and mission plan for my right person 7. I’ve upgraded my car 8. The compassion, grace, mercy, kindness, forgiveness and truth I choose to release into my life is beyond the realm of ordinary 9. More refreshing and enlightening, is the wisdom, knowledge and understanding in finding the peace I need in the world around me 10. At the end my ex husband keep saying if you were like this when we were together we would still be together. I smile because it takes us not being together for me to discover a newer, better version, and transformed version of who I truly am to say the least. 😘 😘😘
In order for me to live my best life after a current break up; is finding peace and letting go. Forgiving has never been so difficult, especially, when your vunerability, kindness, and love have been taken for granted. When you come to realize that it was not love he had for you. You were only a pawn in his calculated plan, that is painful. But I refuse to allow the pain to keep me complacent.
Let me tell you one thing, you are doing a beautiful job. Everything you said is wonderful but I personally believe that every women should do all the things that you have mentioned to free herself. Nothing from the perspective of others this time please 🙂 peace✌️ Thank you for the wonderful ideas.
What if you already were your best self? If you have blocked and unfriend on social media, how would the guy know what he is missing? I have always wondered. I'm more of a private person on social media for privacy reasons as well.
Ued tracey same here. Not great foryour self esteem. I am mad with me that i knew deep down but did not move on til i tried to leave 3 times. When he hoovered me back i still wanted to think he cared like he said. It was all lies and now ive left it behind
Hi Matt I wanted to share something with you. Recently I was dating someone & it was after when my boyfriend passed away. And he knew that he was the only one that I slept with. But until later I found out that he was sleeping with other women. How do I deal with something like him??
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For me the most painful piece has been realizing that he didn’t love me enough to fight for us. He just walked away. I never want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me, and isn’t willing to put in the work to make it a solid, healthy relationship. Glad I figured it out now, but it still stings.
I'm in that situation right now... My actions to make my mistakes and thus our relationship better, he became more distant. He's an avoidant and I somehow still think he's coming back to me - and everyone I love keeps telling me I have to let him go because he leaves me feeling like nothing... Like a failure... Like I'm not even a bit important :( guess there's some trauma bond in this mix as well. Don't wish it on anyone. It sure stings when they don't love or appreciate you.
You have expressed exactly the situation I found myself in after nearly 5 years. I had to bring myself to walk away but he made absolutely no effort to right things or, as you say, "fight for us" (words I actually said to him at our last meeting) It hurt me so deeply but thankfully my mindset has shifted after nearly a year and I am ready and able now to find someone who will treat me better.
The guy who used to take 3-4 hrs to respond to my day to day texts, responded to my text wanting to end it, in under a minute!
@@mimi-vh3qq same thing just happened to me.... it feels like a blessing to me now that l released him mentally. Level up your requirements for next guy. "We have to learn how to separate the way WE feel about them vs. the way they make US feel being in the relationship" (matthew hussey) 2 very different things.
Same situation, I know I deserve better but I’m having a hard time getting over this. Especially since he moved on so quickly without trying to work things out
1. Free the relationship in your mind. Let it go. Cleanse your space.
2. Find your peace. Grieve it. Forgive.
3. Flourish. Build your best life.
4. Finish that goal.
5. Focus on the new.
Good advice in general for living whether it involves a breakup or not.
Thank you.
Well said
Thanks he ignored me without reason what shall I do
@@tanaworkzigale without knowing all the details it's hard to say exactly. BUT ignoring you is a message from him.
I'm in this process
The lies, cheating and Betrayal was really tough. I even started questioning myself, what went wrong. I give my all to the point I left nothing for myself. This time, I will love myself more. 😢❤❤❤
I'm so sorry. Unfortunately I'm going through that right now. Married 18 yrs and never knew there was a problem until he came home at 3am one night. Yep he cheated and destroyed us.
I gave him all the love a man could ask but what did I get in return betrayal
@@nancygituma1898 same … 😢
Lying and cheating isn't your fault. How a man treats women is on him. People have patterns. It's spotting the patterns and identifying red flags when you meet. Hardball interrogate men. 2 questions that will scare 90%of men away. What does committment look like and mean to you? What does a relationship look like and mean to you? Trust no one until they prove it. The book 8 Dates is a great read. Asking a guy if he has any references from exes is another good question. Scares the heck out of them.
Dating is not for fun if you want a partner.
We are often attracted to the familiar . Someone who resembles our parents. Important to know what you want and have definate dealbreakers. People show you who they are. A great podcast with Coach Kenneth Craig. We are attracted to the familiar and Understanding attachment styles. Most men have an avoidant attachment.
I get that so much,reading yr comment was like I’d wrote it! WOW!
Never be afraid to walk away from an incompatible man. Realistically his loss is your gain! He knows and understands why you left.
Well said
No one gets away with anything. There are always consequences. Karma always has an address.
@@sherriflemming3218 so soooo true!!!
@@joannaplummer-os3xj Hi Joanna. Thank you. I hope you're doing well. Women need to date like Power Rangers. May the force be with you! Date like a detective. 🇨🇦
What if he walked out on me?! He thought *I* was incompatible with him! 😞 while I didn't think the same! I thought we had a lot of commonalities?!!
1.Free the relationship in your mind
2.Find peace-do the work
3.Flourish in your best life with habits. When you’re growing you’re glowing
4. Finish that goal
5. Focus on the new
I wished my guy the best of luck with his new relationship and I thanked him for setting me free so that I could finally meet the person in my dreams
That’s sad they jump up one woman to another one 😔
Many people cannot be alone. And rebounds or transitional people rarely work out. People have behavioral patterns.
It's the forgiveness part that just can't go away. The betrayal was intense but am working on it . Thank you with this.
Forgiving someone after betrayal was especially tough, imo it's one of the worst ways to get heartbroken. Not only it tears the relationship down to the core but it can also be damaging to the person who received the treatment leaving them feeling traumatized and losing their trust with starting anew eventually.
Take your time to recover and process the feelings. It may be painful, but once you get over it, you'll be a stronger and wiser person than who you already are. Just sharing a bit of my advice about forgiveness: Forgiveness doesn't mean you'll forget someone's misdeeds, forgetting is silly because you need that knowledge so the same thing doesn't happen again
Forgive as a literal word, it is to let go and just let that person have what they took away from you. It just mean to let things be while slowly letting go of the pain and resentment you had no matter how painful it was. Think of this not because of karma, but think of this as a way to set yourself free from the pain. We can't let this person take more of our energy and time away from us. You deserve living a better life enjoying the things that makes you happy.
Forgive others and yourself to be free. Don't let the past rob your present. I wish you love and healing!
Forgive yourself. Not every betrayal requires forgiveness and certainly you don't forget how someone treats you. Without trust there is no relationship.
Amen!!! I went back to school, dyed my hair and started dating again. Boo yah!
Great!
I think is important to never put a guy on the pedestal or make him the centre of your life. Let him prove his love over a period of time and invest himself a lot.
I have made myself a promise that I refuse to ever want him back again in my life. Even if he becomes the most transformed human being alive on this earth, not even then.
He had his chance and he made it clear that he does not know how to appreciate that chance. He wasn't even willing. And here I was all way into the water.
Now I am giving love (even more 🫶) to myself for which I was looking outside, believing it is on the outside.
Ugh same girl, stay strong! It's hard because I just want a hug from him, and then I remember that I'm just attached to someone who isn't even who I thought he was and am disgusted I ever put up with him. The song Flowers by Miley Cyrus is so beautiful and healing, I recommend going to give it a listen💖
After a breakup, the best thing you can do is move on. Reflect what went wrong. Learn from it and ladies cut all contact. Do not follow him on social media. Nothing. Block him. Take your time. Do not rush into another relationship. See it as an opportunity to find new hobby's, working on your skills, career, making new friends... Do not take him back. Never. Waste of time. 95% chance for a 2nd breakup. I hate to say it, but a lot of Guys (especially when they know, you still care) will just use you for sex.
Absolutely. Well said. Don't allow them to come back. Close the door. Why would you want an ex back?
Pls read my comment and suggest me😢
@@sherriflemming3218 suggest me
If a man didn't talk to me for couple of weeks bocz of his situation. And aftr dat he cme back to me means can I accept him or not...😢😢 but I can't without his cal and text. But he didn't 😢..can anybdy tell
@@kishoreburvin2931 Thanks for your response. I was looking for yours. ??? How can I help?
Self care is the best medicine everything else will fall into place after that ❤️
I hope so! I always felt like this one area of my life I can never really figure out! I know that I am beautiful/pretty, kind, intelligent and I think I'd make a good, responsible wife and mother just like I was lucky enough to expereince growing up with my own mother! However, it sadly always takes two. I also know how to cook well and keep learning new tricks in the kitchen so I really don't understand what happend with my last relationship. I loved/really liked a lot of what he was about! Guess it wasn't that mutual sadly.. I am almost 40. I just hope it isn't too late for me to meet the right one. He was only 9 months older and caucasian so I really didn't understand how he could so coldly leave my life...after what I thought was one of the happiest/happier times in our lives, at least in MY life... I was hoping it was his too!
@@Goodwillwinoverevil1984 That's so sad to hear about you.... hope you find the right one ..♥️
I just ignore him. He knows he can't replace me. Too bad for him.
I’m in pain right now hopefully it can help me to heal from the pain😭i lost my energy I really don’t know where should I start.all I want now is to relieve the pain in my heart cause by man I trusted everything.
Watching this, I realised I needed to forgive and let go of a friendship that ended abruptly. This is very helpful. I don't want him to suffer, because I know our friendship was good and I know he would be suffering. Letting go is the hardest part. I liked what you said about that relationship no longer being available, it is so true.
Transform pain into something greater! Wow👍❤️
1. Release
2. Peace
3. Grow
4. Finish that Goal (a book to write, a trip to take, a business to start)
5. Focus on the New
Bro you're reading me like a book.... You've gotten me through a tough break up and now he's all over me but its no hard feelings I moved on and I wish him well... Sadly that brotha can't handle lol ....i love every word you're saying PERIOD PERIOD ON PERIOD
To live my best life post break up: reflect on the lessons, hold myself accountable and show gratitude for the experience.
This method truly does work. Focusing on bettering yourself & working on yourself & just enjoying your life truly does make you a beacon that draws all the moths to your flame.
My deepest feelings do not often come immediately, so the grieving step especially is taking time. I felt that being with him improved me, so I miss him a lot right now. Thank you for these nudges away from repetitive rumination.
Matt oh
My GOD ❤ this wisdom, the tone of your voice, the clarity you bring us, the intention you set in the message it is really powerful and aways on time! You are like an Angel giving us the best in ur word.
Thanks a lot for encourage us all woman to be our best selves.
Bless you. ❤
It's to much effort to have a relationship, do life for yourself..
Friends are under rated.
I really needed this and there was not better time than now. I choose to release, forgive, flourish, finish my goal and fully transform. Thank you for this ‼️I will need to have this on repeat for daily reminders.
Update: Mat, following your thinking was the crucial thing to do in my (see below) case. Me and my M47 continued the comm, but I put away my emotions. And continued dating other people. The result? He asked me recently to move in together. I am happy, you know I am, but - I am taking my time to think :) Thank you, Mat, you're a real friend :)
7:57 oh gosh! This is so true. I haven’t been in the gym etc for years and I crave it. I feel it will shift my life since I’ve been single for 13 years.
Just found him cheating on our marital bed yesterday. I can't sleep the whole night. Been practicing calmness but am breaking inwardly. Thanks for your kind words
Are you a mountain person or a beach person?
It's horrible. Did you kick him out? I hope so. You're traumatized.
For me it’s to journal, grief and chase a dream that was unavaliable for me during the relationship
I really needed to hear this today. Your words are a reflection of how I have been feeling and what I know deep down that I need to do in order to feel I have some control back in my life. I feel I’ve lost someone so close to me but more importantly I’ve lost myself and need to find the person I once was. Thanks for this
The most important element for my best life is finishing school and starting my career. I want to save money and get my own place and know I can rely on myself! From there I want to add in hobbies and goals to enrich my time when I’m not working: like writing, traveling, yoga/Pilates/martial arts. Just always learning more and more and having fun!
I don't want anybody to regret missing me. I want them to be happy, really happy. Life is all about going with the flow. Wish peace for them and turn the chapter. ❤🎉
If he's not happy with why me, I have to deserve him, hell? If I don't provide him happiness, fun, make him laugh, change his life for better, make him grow spiritually mentally and financially, desire. why do I have to be around him? Love is let the person be happy even you know that that person doesn't choose to be with you. It hurts to see him go with someone else, but it hurts more to see that you're giving him hard time and not fun times checking his phone waiting for someone else who makes him smile and jumps of happiness because he saw that text. Making plans to make someone else happy when that specific person is in needed and you just watching how happy he feels with her and with you is only bored and a yes or no talk. Being indifferent to your needs but with others is available and happy. Is better to lose than living miserable.. creating fantasies in the mind
Pathetic. They don't really care, so why should you?!
I needed this today. I'm not in a broken relationship but I feel off-kilter. He's almost perfect, everything I thought I'd never find again. He's a genuinely loving and caring person and lately I've been feeling sad. I realized that I'm going to cool this off for me. I don't want to hurt him but I don't want to feel sad. Maybe he's nervous about betraying his dead wife. She's been gone for 23 years. I respect that and won't interfere with his grief, which I think is what he's going through now that there's a possibility of happy-ever-after with someone else. I'm extremely in love with him but I need to know I'm the one he can love free of past memories. He can have them but I don't want them to interfere with our happiness. Anyway, thank you for this. The timing for me to see it was just right.
I hope you feel better by now. The right person is someone who chooses to be with us. It takes courage to say no to someone who looks perfect for us but not right for us.
Thank you for sharing Mat, you are amazing! 🥰
For me, healing and feel the pain (takes time) then self care and focus on positive and practice gratitude every day. A new project or goals helps a lot too, the last F”😉
I bumped into him 3 months later. I acted im happy...free... peaceful.he was amazed! But in fact deep inside i feel horrible😂
Dear Mat, yours is the best crying shoulder I (F 63) could have hoped for ... and you guess right, it happened today. I've realized this relationship was not what I needed. Although he IS my dream man (M 47). We are so similar that it is scarry - both Aquarians, born on the same day, both writers, philosophers, spiritual souls, midnight talkers, both with a mission to heal the world. And yet - with different needs regarding the relationship. I understood one thing - if I am in a relationship and feeling lonely, that's not it. It took me 6 months to understand, to decide to confront the issue, and to talk it through which I did today. Luckily he is a marvelous person, so we understood each other well. And very probably we will remain friends. This hurts, you know it does. But pain makes us alive, learning life and still kicking :) Thanks for being here for us :)
I really hope he is happy and content with whatever path he is on ❤ he is the one I love, I wish the best for the one I love.
Mat,Ive been following you sice years, and allow me to say:YOU ARE GLOWING,COZ YOU ARE GROWING.
You realy are,
We are very gateful for all ur care,wisdom and love we recieved from you.
Looking forward to see more from you in the future.
God blesd u 🙏♥️
See I find that these videos work not only for personal life but for professional. I have recently been betrayed to and lied to by my boss. I find incredibly attractive and heaps in common but then he lied to me and that is something I'm truly devastated about as I thought this could be the real deal I might have a chance of finding my happily ever after. But now I'm finding myself in a tough spot as I know my employment may not be secured and its a job I absolutely love. So this will help me get over him and live my best life. Thank you Mat and all those reading to allow me to vent. Have a great day/evening and life your life the best you can and keep smiling.
Thank you for this beautiful video. I just had a break up. Right now I'm on the moving and healing stage. I told myself I'll make myself better.God bless us all.
Ah! I would love this in a pdf format 😊
It's been 3 years since we broke up for the 2nd time. I should never have let him dismiss me. He msgd this new year and I know he feels our connection. I was due to marry someone else but I couldn't. Every time I start something new he's there in my mind and then as if he can read my mind he msgs. I've even moved over 2 hours away. He's still there. I am flourishing and I'm focusing on my new endeavours but he's always there 🥰
Thanks for the advice, I recently told my boyfriend to give ourselves some time. Since we have been together for 2 years and I do not see the relationship moving further. Both of us have been divorced. He said that he feels not ready to get married, and he is not sure if he ever will. So I made the decision to let go. Thanks for your video. I want to have someone that will be there for me all the way. He told me that he did not wanted to be apart but he understands. I myself want someone that is sure of his feelings, and the love he has for me.
Oh did I need to hear and see this! Thanks again Mat! 🙏🏽✨ Definitely a much needed wake up call! Seems like I’m on the right track with with Steps 3,4,5 focusing on myself but haven’t completely free the relationship and found peace quite yet but almost there. This definitely nudges it further along sooner and that’s everything! 🫶❤️ Much love and light to you and Irene always! ✨
This is actually sage ek vice and I will apply it to my everyday life. Thanks for this empowering video. Please do keep them coming and keep on being you're amazing self.
I have listened to your channel andit has seen me through a divorce and an amazing new relationship which turned into a marriage. This video is excellent because it is very positive and will get the exact results desired. Just because it doesn't happen overnight doesn't mean it will not happen. I try to remain friendly with all of my sexes. Nothing more than a note on a Birthday or congratulations when I hear some good news about them. My ex finished a goal I put him on when we were together. When I told him my heartfelt congrats he asked if it was enough for me to take him back. . I am happy I had good advice.
Thank you so much Matt
What an amazing way to handle a situation.
I’ve not experienced a break up. But a end to communication. That is a negativity to these devices we use and distance mileage wise from the other. I needed to hear this today. Thank you deeply.
Same here. Let’s not take it personally. We never know what’s on their plate. Keep walking!
I Love the music instrumental at the end...the message is invaluable❤
most important elements are to focus on these 5 F;s and do them!!! I am not getting over "someone" but getting over the past and many relationships.
Mind boggling. Every word makes so much sense. Appreciate the short video that's meaningful
I so needed this. I was lied to, cheated on and gaslit by a narcissist for 16 months who kept hoovering me back. Worst pain I've ever felt
It's brutal. Normal men don't love bomb or future fake. It could be any Cluster B disorder not just a narcissist. They are trauma bonds.
Deceitful people always comes with sweet talks
@@mwansakopa5594 So true
Ouch. This ex of mine did five months of dating me and wooing me basically BUILDING with me dreams and a future together to nothing. Such an asshole/dick. Even said he couldn't love someone like me in the end 😞. Like there was anything WRONG with the way I was 😞.
That is SO TRUE! as soon as I stop thinking about my ex, cleanse my space of him he calls.
My God. Your advice was God-sent at the right juncture. Thank you God.
I cannot tell you how much this message touches my heart. Thank you God of Miracles!!! Amen 🙏❤🙌
This is a tough one; my daughter is around a lot of "sports" types (high school version). She wasn't used to this at first; but they are big flirts. But, it doesn't mean anything. So I've tried to warn her how they are. How not to give one of these guys too much of your time. So now she frequents the location, not the guy. If it's football, if it's ice skating; make it about the event. That way the guy won't keep you from wanting to go to the places you like to go. I've been able to be a constant for her so she's not so affected by this stuff. That lightness your talking about; yep, that's the goal.
1) Free the relationship in your mind.
2) Find your peace.
3) Flourish.(Build your best life)
4) Finish that goal.
5) Focus on the new.
Wow - I totally teared up at "Finish that goal". I have been trying to finish my doctorate for years - now I got dumped, this is the time to do it. Thank you 😊
It took me five years to get my doctorate. If you have already spent years for it, just finish. It’s about time! You can do it! Bon courage!
Thank you for sharing your amazing advice sir Matt.. God bless your entire family ❤❤
On my side its waw❤...whatta nice quotes❤❤❤❤
Sooooooo true Matt.... every word!
I love your voice and your energy!!!
Very good advise❤
He can't see the posts if he's blocked 😈😁. I love your videos and genuine from the heart approach 🤩
Thank you! Love this video...very valuable insights and advice
I am still living in the same house with my ex. I am not financially able to move. We have seperate rooms but his presence has a hold on me and I am reminded of tje loneliness every morning I wake and he is gone and every night I go to bed alone with him in the next room. I need distractions, I need friends, and activities. I tried some online things and its mostly fabricated. At least it feels that way! Im losing my mind and its testing my self worth!
Plz get out of that house, meet pple...you are valuable n beautiful ❤
I definitely appreciate you Sir. Thank you 🙏 ❤
I am not going through a romantic breakup but rather ending/changing a familial relationship that has cost me too much.
Pain for me and still wish his happiness.. give me the peace of mind ..
Nice insights! Thanks much.
Hi everyone: This stuff is soooo true. I had a ex who literally begged to come back to me. But I moved on..!! So much is I don't even say his name. I think I've been through the 1st or 2nd one. I do the 2nd one alot. Like I literally said " I'm done with guys for awhile. I'm going to conquer my goals." Conquering my goals has been the best thing for me. Cuz now I have 2 small businesses & I'm being taught more than I would've thought.
If a man didn't talk to me for couple of weeks bocz of his situation. And aftr dat he cme back to me means can I accept him or not...😢😢 but I can't without his cal and text. But he didn't 😢..can anybdy tell
For sure my dear love yourself
Amazing! Love it! Thanks for the guidance!
Wonderful Word’s of Wisdom… 🙌❤️
Things that help me move on from anything is just allowing myself to sit in the pain. After that, you have a clean slate! 😊
Thanks a lot for this video, Mat. 😇😇
I felt my feelings grieve the loss I always remember if it's not him it's somewhat even better so I gave myself time and started to heal as I'm healing I'm writing down all the stuff I want in a man the stuff I knew I deserved I just kept telling myself I know he's out there and all this pain will make me stronger if that's the best he could do he did me a favor by walking away now 2 months later I met an absolutely amazing man he is everything I wrote down and so much more I'm so grateful for him every day I'm so glad I was patient with myself I'm very proud of myself for all the work I have done to heal learn and grow thank you so much your videos have really helped me in so many ways ❤🥰🙏
Are you a mountain person or a beach person?
Thanks a lot, I experiencing right now. I don't know to start again but I watched your video and it wake me up. I asked myself, why I need to cry with him?If he doesn't care my feelings.
You have an amazing voice, like from the 50s. Classic
Your videos are amazing!
If he ever calls me. I will tell him to fly a kite. I dont want anyone who did make me be a priority. Karma is real. I forgive and release but stay away from me. Amazing advice Matt. Thank you
If you answer his call, he'll assume your door is open and will test you to see what he can get away with.
Awesome Matt, great tips. I can so relate to these tips.
I had been through a tough divorce and I did the work of finding exactly who I am without the title of being a wife.
Here are some things I have accomplished:
1. I published three books
2. I’m in my best body, I’ve lost over 30Lbs
3. I’m back into banking as a titled officer
4. My spiritual senses have been heightened, enlightened and unleashed.
5. I’ve been out of homelessness in a beautiful home I co-owned with family
6. I have written a vision and mission plan for my right person
7. I’ve upgraded my car
8. The compassion, grace, mercy, kindness, forgiveness and truth I choose to release into my life is beyond the realm of ordinary
9. More refreshing and enlightening, is the wisdom, knowledge and understanding in finding the peace I need in the world around me
10. At the end my ex husband keep saying if you were like this when we were together we would still be together.
I smile because it takes us not being together for me to discover a newer, better version, and transformed version of who I truly am to say the least. 😘 😘😘
Empowering!!!!
Love every word of that! Amen!!! ❤
@@joannaplummer-os3xj thanks beautiful 🙏
Powerful words let's me try feeling heartbroken
In order for me to live my best life after a current break up; is finding peace and letting go. Forgiving has never been so difficult, especially, when your vunerability, kindness, and love have been taken for granted.
When you come to realize that it was not love he had for you. You were only a pawn in his calculated plan, that is painful. But I refuse to allow the pain to keep me complacent.
I really needed to hear this. There is a trip I have really been wanting to take. Thanks for this video.
You are great 😊mat now my mind is totally relaxed
I really like this advice I'm going to try this that's the problem I have is letting the man go that's in my mind thank you
Thank you so much for saying these things.
What about if he doesn’t talk to you at all ? That’s so sad to be in this situation 😢
Thanks Mat for your advice and i appreciate that you are always so cheerful:)
Hi coach good evening 😊
Great summary, thank-you Mat, love your channel!
What wise and valuable counsel.
Let me tell you one thing, you are doing a beautiful job.
Everything you said is wonderful but I personally believe that every women should do all the things that you have mentioned to free herself. Nothing from the perspective of others this time please 🙂 peace✌️ Thank you for the wonderful ideas.
Mrs. Boggs is so lucky!
What if you already were your best self? If you have blocked and unfriend on social media, how would the guy know what he is missing? I have always wondered. I'm more of a private person on social media for privacy reasons as well.
Ued tracey same here. Not great foryour self esteem. I am mad with me that i knew deep down but did not move on til i tried to leave 3 times. When he hoovered me back i still wanted to think he cared like he said. It was all lies and now ive left it behind
Thank you Matt for your advices. They really help me. God bless you for your wise words 🙏
i love your advice its real ,, thank you thank you
Great video Ma, thank you.
Hi Matt I wanted to share something with you. Recently I was dating someone & it was after when my boyfriend passed away. And he knew that he was the only one that I slept with. But until later I found out that he was sleeping with other women. How do I deal with something like him??
wow! I needed to hear this. i started to do some of it but now I have more of a direction. that you Matt. you are awesome!!!
This really helped me. Thank you
Thanks 👍🏻