Explanation about Ladies inviting Guys - there is a lot of discussion, I think it's not explained enough. (btw happy that you disagree, we have a lovely community brewing up here!) 1. I've had some of the best discoveries, when lady who noticed me invited me for a dance. Otherwise I wouldn't have noticed her. For sure there are exceptions. 2. I am not saying ladies shouldn't approach guys. Approach them, show that you want to dance with them, but don't stick your arm out. Leave the actual invitation for the guy. It's nicer! If lady comes up to me and starts talking, we get to know each other and I understand she wants to dance with me! Then I invite her, even if she did the first step. It's just a better way of doing it. 3. Nowadays the social scene becomes robotic. There are guys who are invited all the time, ladies sitting in rows for great dancers, teachers. It becomes a factory - not enjoyable social dancing. For guys, it's important to say no, for ladies it's important not to DEMAND the dance, but ask guys in a good way. It's nice to be invited, it's a compliment - but usually great dancers sit down, when they are exhausted. Give a space for a guy to relax...and you do it by just approaching him and starting to talk - instead of sticking the arm out. I know everyone wants to dance with great dancers, and no lady wants to sit when her favourite song is playing - just you can do the inviting, approaching in the good way..! I hope I made sense - it's not black / white - there are exceptions to every approach :) Just think of good way of doing things - letting man being a man and lady being feminine :)
it's awesome to read that many share the same sentiments regarding the "ladies should not invite guys to dance" topic. I'm a beginner and new to the scene, and I've learnt that when you are new to the social dances, people don't know you and what you can do. the first year of dancing, I seldom get invited to dance and 50% of the time I'm just waiting around (cause I thought I shouldn't ask a guy to dance) and i was so bored, at times sad and dissapointed and frustrated because no one wanted to dance with me. Then I brought this up with my instructor and they were shocked, they said "you can ask the guy to dance!! who said you can't!?".. and with a few pushes and much observations of leads, I gathered my gutts I asked a few to dance, and I had a great time. so from my experience... to ladies who are beginners and shy, one small tip... ask your instructors to dance, and if possible your classmates too, then at least the social dancers will be able to see you and take notice of you and hopefully they will ask you to dance
Yeah, it's easy to leave party success up to guys inviting you.. :) But if you want to dance, you make your own luck, success :) Sure it's nicer that the guys you want to dance with, invite you first, but if it doesnt happen..why not make it happen yourself? :)
Thank you for sharing these ideas. So far I learned so much from your videos. Thank you a lot ! But I could not believe my ears from minute 6:10 to 6:20. If I am in the mood to dance and I like the song, I will always ask guys, if they want to dance with me. I don't struggle around, I just ask with a smile: "hey, wanna dance?" And I have the impression that most of them appreciate it so far. Of course I also love being asked for a dance. But I prefer spending my time on the dancefloor - not next to it waiting.
Am Wir heh its kinda nice to invite guys, but it starts happening way too much. Its better to leave the invitation itself to guy, you can still approach in good way. Overdoing is not good, and guys should be the ones inviting. I know a lot of ladies who dont invite guys but dance all the time - why? Because of smile, being close to dance floor, enjoying music being alone.
OnKizomba - Dainis, do you mind me contacting you personally via Email, etc...? I think you brought up a very interesting topic on rules and ethics on the dancefloor and I would like to share my thoughts with you. I meanwhile read all you other comments on this guy/girls-inviting issue and I get the idea about what you meant to say in the first place.
Loved the video. You have been posting really nice videos on which normally people (instructors etc on youtube) don't focus on, but are extremely essential. Like this one for Social Kizomba dancing. I'm one of those people who had to go to new cities to dance. Not in a festival, but a random local social. And, as a guy, in a new place it gets a bit tough. On top of that I'm still a bit shy. What helps is if someone from the organiser/dance school asks new people to dance. That breaking the ice builds the confidence. Not just for the new guy/girl, also for the potential people they might ask. Thanks to the school where I learnt Kizomba, I have learnt the rules you mentioned - shower, appropriate amount of deo/perfume, extra shirts and towel (coz hygiene), asking politely and always smiling and genuinely be in good mood (that shows you are actually enjoying the music). Even after this, in my experience, if someone from the hosts break the ice for me, I have more and better dances in that city. That kind of shows that not only you can dance, you enjoy dancing too. That then shows to local people that "hey, maybe even I should dance with this person". It's same for both leads and followers. I have had some experiences where the female instructor asked me for dance, and started chatting saying "hey, looks like you are new to this place". Asking people who are new to the scene is always good. If it is a beginner, then, as you said, it's such a joy to make someone new to fall in love with dancing. If it's just a dancer new to city, asking them would help you put a new good dancer on the floor. If you are an instructor or part of host team, ask new people always! Don't sit in a corner as a celebrity. It's responsibility of these "senior" dancers to help grow the community and spread the love.
yes, well said!! Totally agree - it's not easy to get started in new environment, but dancer community is pretty friendly most of the time if you are a good guy/girl.. :) (not weirdo..or drunk)
That: "don't say yes when you don't want to dance" should be the Bible of Kizomba social dancing....I've had some of those, and it really does suck dancing with one whose not there.... Amazing video as always!
If you're dancing with a less experienced partner, don't criticise them or try and "teach" them, keep that to the classroom (even then, that's the job of the teacher), only offer advice, etc., if they ask - otherwise try and keep things within their level (well, maybe push it a little) and try to make sure you are leading them properly as we leads can sometimes get a little lazy without realising it if we're dancing with higher end dancers too often. I agree with the music - even if I know I am going to a class I will put my headphones on in work and listen to Kizomba (and similar) music. Surprising how much difference that can make. And as others have said, there's nothing wrong with ladies asking for a dance if she really wants to. Especially with newbies - it can be very intimidating when you first start going to socials and can be very hard for some to ask a lady to dance.
Hi! Great video, as usually! Absolutely useful, not boring at all. I agree with all tips. A lot of discussions about girl invitations. It depends on situation. The better dancer you are, the more possible that you will get an invitation to dance from the lady. In our country, in Latvia, mostly man are asking for dance. It`s our social dance culture, I think. So, ladies, if man is not exhausted after non-stop dancing, you can invite. Analyze man`s body language. That`s my opinion. For ladies the tip to dance longer on parties is simple - increase your dancing level, so man will want to dance with you all the time. In kizomba it`s all about building connection. It cannot be done with every partner. But, if it happens, the magic starts. So try do develop this feeling with every partner you dance with, and you will get this feeling more often. And when couple has this magic feeling, they can dance for a long time... and nothing else matters.
Great video! I agree with most of your points. "The ladies should not asks guys to dance" I do not agree with. From what i noticed there is a shortage of leads in the Kizomba community. If a lady sees an open lead she should go for it if she wants to dance. Due to this, I try to limit dances to 2 songs and dance with as many people as possible. #taxidancer haha Also, the point you made about learning to follow is crucial! I was a horrible lead until I took the time to be lead in a dance. Now every chance I get to follow is a great learning experience.
ouh appreciate your feedback - definitely getting your point about ladies inviting guys eh. Yeah, about being lead - still on the way.. probably best to be lead by great male dancers, but havent gone to that yet eh.
I've been following the channel for a while, amazing contents lots of great videos. Huge appreciation for the effort! I agree to mostly, the only thing that I'd not say a yes is the invitation:) as before. It's dancing after all. If you like he's / her dance or selection of moves fire away :)! Enjoy! Keep the content coming!
Hi Dainis, i like your point about dancing by just using slow basic in defferent variations and weight changes. But did you already posted a video for example with you dancing this way with someone( you showed it little bit in the video but alone) Its really interesting to see it in a real dance
Hey Marke, you can check Albir's videos on this channel - just use search on Onkizomba - he has quite a bit of slow dances..where he does that. He's the best to learn from :)
Nice video, I figure out most by myself already hard way. Is shame that people don't teach this at first kizomba lesson :D I disagree about lady inviting as well. From my "beginner" point of view, yes I get that ideally, Guy should invite girl. But if you don't have natural charisma+selfconfidence and you are starting with "social" kizomba, is crazy hard. Especially if you don't have any other dancing experience or dancing partner willing to practice with you. First two months i was completely scared of social dancing. Then i gather all courage and I went after our kizomba 1 course to party. I didn't know anybody there, I asked first lady to dance and she said no in wierd way. Second lady after few minutes said Yes, and it was an absolutely terrible experience! We was not even able to dance basic. And after that I got lecture what I did wrong and I had no idea what she tried to say, since I didn't know the terminology. I was even embarased to admit that i have no idea what she talking about. That discourages me for a long time. It get better when I actually got invited to dance from a girl. I just came to say hi to friends, and some lady came with a smile and she said "I love this song, wanna try ?". We are friends since and just for this single moment, if I see her bored on a party I am always coming for her. Even if there are better followers around! I would add tip for girls "Don't lecture on a dance floor", If is really necessary gave you partner one small tip in really friendly form like "I personally like more, when ..... ". Is not about information itself, everybody wants to get feedback, but timing and form is crucial (thats is kinda universal). But your feedback is important for us! For guys, dont give any feedback if it is not explicitly requested :D. If something messes up it is anyway on 80 percent our fault since we are leading. Thx for video ! Regards Daniel
You are right, But just use the perfume once. A lot of us have sensitive smell and even if we don’t, one spray is more than enough! 😊 Perfume smell can make ladies dizzy.
Nice video! There is a lot of conscious and unconscious bias on the dance floor, so I especially like the advice encouraging men to invite ladies they don't see dancing much. Not forgetting about the beginners is also very important. We need to see more of this in the dance scene! Like the others, I have to disagree a bit about ladies asking guys to dance. In the states, you practically have to! As you emphasized, there is a tasteful way to invite someone to dance. If I see that a guy has been dancing non-stop and woman after woman has been asking him to dance, then that's a clear indicator not to ask for a dance. As always, I love your videos!
ouh thanks :) yeah - it was my mistake about ladies asking guys - didnt explain too well, nothing bad about it - it's just going crazy - trend is that ladies just non-stop rush after guys without giving a chance to be invited.
Thank you for watching this video! How was it? Was it useful - too long, absolutely boring? What did you take away and do you have some social dancing tips/stories to share?
Dude, you have such an awesome channel! Open up a Patreon so that we can contribute. I would love to hear the videos with better sound and video quality, since the content is already very good!
eh thank you for the support! Will think on that, though I generally don't like donation model... not a good business model.. thinking in future maybe to collaborate with some top dancers..will see..
Great one once again my friend. I don't agree on everything, but there are some Amazing advices there. :) I disagree about the Lady inviting, I think it's great that a woman takes up the courage to do it. It shows that she really enjoys dancing and she's not just gonna wait for it to happens. One of my best dance ever was with a girl that invited me. I didn't really see her, and it would have been a shame if we missed each other because our dance together was one of the most epic moment of my dance life. One that showed me the Magic of the dance. The "build the connection" advice is great ! I tend to forget to do that depending of the song. Like you I use the Beginning of the song to gauge the lady's level and then adapt from that. If she's a beginner, sometimes I'll increase little by little the difficulty for her. The goal is to give her the opportunity to improve on a technical way too. I agree with the "2 dance" basis. 1 dance I feel it's rude, as it doesn't really give neither of the partner to accostumate to the other one. "Your first dance will determine the rest of the party". Also true ! Now you Made me want to dance really Bad. :D
Moranta F haha, super funny - i have quite a few same kind of stories where lady invited me and if she didnt i wouldnt have had amazing dances! Yes, there are exceptions to this :) - but why women shouldnt invite - its not right. Its like girl opening doors and guy walking in first. Sure u can do it sometimes and this doesnt apply as much when u know each other. Its just it happens way way too much in dancing world. It becomes robotic, ladies sitting in rows for pro dancers to have that one dance - its like factory. Not enjoyable.. i dont like dancing when i am tired and saying yes just because lady asked.. when u dance u should enjoy and be able to give a good dance.
I guess we just have different point of view on the matter (which is fine :) ). It would be too hard to have this discussion over youtube, better leave it for around a cup of coffee the next festival we'll manage to both go ;). I see your point, it's true that it's not enjoyable when you ask a girl for a dance and she answer that she's waiting for that guy. Or that you see her refusing, saying that she's tired and the next song rushing to dance with another. But hey, shit happens :) I have a question for you, would love to have your thought about this : Do you think you can have a connexion with every partner ?
No definitely don't think I can build connection with every partner. I definitely try - but sometimes it really doesn't work, which is okay. Your thoughts?
I agree with that. As every other human to human interaction (be it social, romantic or else) I think you can't "click" with everyone. Some you'll connect right away, some you may take some times, but some it might never happen. Like you said it's fine. But it was a big realisation for me as it reduced my "performance anxiety" a lot !
I take step from 1:14 to 1:16 - I like that you do it smooth ;) I must learn that. And all the other thing You make me more strong about my feeling and thoughts about dance :) It's nice to know that other people feel the sama about kizomba. I like your movies. Hope we meet at bachaturo next year ! ;)
i completly disagree that ladys should not "invite" man. maybe: different countries, different customs. nearly every girl i invited for a dance, also said " YES" . in the 9 years i am dancing, only 4-5 girls said "no" , when i asked for a dance. but i am not sure, if all of them really "love" it. may be some only dance with me, as i am one of the guys dancing very long or as i am the DJ at some partys. i will invite and dance with the same woman 2 , maximum 3 time. but after that i expect from her , that SHE invites ME. otherwise i will not dance with her any more, as i think she does not really like to dance with me so much. but i think you have to differ: local dancing scene, where you know most people, and festival partys in foreign citys. it´s ok to say: girls should approach. and the final step should be by the man. but this is only a "formality".
Yeah, I guess different customs. It's also my mistake, I didnt explain that inviting part too well. It's just on festivals there is too much of ladies hunting for guys happening, which over time create bad vibes eh. And this completely is not relevant to the people you know, because with people you know you can talk easily...and locally you know everyone :)
When you are talking about the amount of dances you give a single lady i'm guessing you are talking about mixed and not full songs. If you are talking about full songs that would be like 15 minutes that you dedicate to one person. For me everyone gets one full song ranging between 4-5 minutes. Personally I think 3 songs (12-15 minutes) that's too much. Side note: I wish DJs didn't mix songs so much to create this continuous stream of music. A song tells a story from beginning middle to end. When its mixed its hard to stay on the same page and then later ending a song mid mix can be really awkward. Overall, very good tips that I agree with.
ouh yes, good point - well, I always check around 8-10 mins. At least for me less then that is too little time to build connection. Yes, I agree about the mixing...mixing is nice, but overmixing...I do miss development - beginning / middle / bridge / end... too.
I'm learning Salsa (my first dance) and online people say to never dance longer than 1 song (2-3 minutes) with the same person. So at the end of a night you had like 20-30 dance partners. Is it different for different dances?
it definitely is different. kizomba songs are typically around 3 mins long. whereas salsa songs are mostly at least 5mins long (and can even be of 10mins). It's very rare (in my experience) that one would dance more than one song with the same person in salsa. In Kizomba I agree with @OnKizomba, you need the first song to build connection and then go for more songs depending on how good the connection is and how much you enjoy dancing with each other. Also, Salsa is high energy dance, whereas Kizomba is relaxed and when you get that good connection you might lose track of time. Sometimes it feels like being in trance.
dont understand the problem why are women not allowed to ask men for a dance? we are not in 1800 anymore! some men told me to do that, because if they stop dancing, they don't get to the corner to invite you...
eh, it was my mistake - there is no problem, just wanted to point out that it's a bad trend, that ladies basically run for good guys all the time. Didn't explain it well enough - eh, you are right! :) well, also Sonja don't sit in corner :) yeah, corners are tricky :)
OnKizomba - Dainis So do you think that you are too good to be invited? Only you can have the right to choose your dance partner then? I don't understand why it would be only one way... I hope begginers girls who listen to your videos won't listen to you... Otherwise, they will never progress!!
Olivia, i apologise - no of course i dont think i am too good to be invited. I was just trying to address the craze that's happening, where ladies keep running for guys and in turn guys get more arrogant and we enter the dark side of kizomba ... it happens like crazy in France especially, when teachers only go for girls that would do something more with them. I didnt explain the point well enough and no - I didn't mean to say it's bad for ladies to invite guys. I was implying - yes, go - just still the nice way is to allow a guy to ask himself - you still approach. I always get the point when lady approaches me and starts talking - I invite her - even if technically she invited me.
Okay, I understand what you mean for the first part of your response and you are right. I went to Paris 1 month ago and it is true guys are becoming arrogant. I understand what you mean for the second part too. However, I won't talk to every guys that I wanna dance with. I try to be on the dancefloor at maximum so if I start having conversation with all the guys that I want to invite... Or same way if they start talking to me I'm loosing the opportunity to dance. I'm an addicted kizomba dancer. I wanna talk if I'm tired. I would not invite a guy sitting or having a conversation cuz it means, he is tired too or doesn't want to dance :) Anyway, I like your videos :) Keep going :)
Girls don t listen. It s always pleasant to be invited :D it shows how much you like dance. Just don t invite to much the same guy and too much guys. If you invite too much the same guy, he can feel hoged. And if people see a girl inviting only the bests dancers, people LL think that she s not social.
"ginga is like bottom part..." - "girls don't invite guys"... So many errors in stance. Its ok to be a beginner. Its not OK to teach wrong concepts to beginners. You are just amplifying your own errors. Before teaching, please learn properly, and help people to dance Kizomba the right way. Also: please don't mix kizomba with other dances and still call it Kizomba.
Most of girls so much attitude...only dance with tall guy or instructor not dance with new person that's the bad thing unnecessary attitude if not chance to get new people how to they improvement dance...well girls has to learn not show much attitude....
Explanation about Ladies inviting Guys - there is a lot of discussion, I think it's not explained enough. (btw happy that you disagree, we have a lovely community brewing up here!)
1. I've had some of the best discoveries, when lady who noticed me invited me for a dance. Otherwise I wouldn't have noticed her. For sure there are exceptions.
2. I am not saying ladies shouldn't approach guys. Approach them, show that you want to dance with them, but don't stick your arm out. Leave the actual invitation for the guy. It's nicer! If lady comes up to me and starts talking, we get to know each other and I understand she wants to dance with me! Then I invite her, even if she did the first step. It's just a better way of doing it.
3. Nowadays the social scene becomes robotic. There are guys who are invited all the time, ladies sitting in rows for great dancers, teachers. It becomes a factory - not enjoyable social dancing. For guys, it's important to say no, for ladies it's important not to DEMAND the dance, but ask guys in a good way. It's nice to be invited, it's a compliment - but usually great dancers sit down, when they are exhausted. Give a space for a guy to relax...and you do it by just approaching him and starting to talk - instead of sticking the arm out.
I know everyone wants to dance with great dancers, and no lady wants to sit when her favourite song is playing - just you can do the inviting, approaching in the good way..!
I hope I made sense - it's not black / white - there are exceptions to every approach :) Just think of good way of doing things - letting man being a man and lady being feminine :)
Love it!
it's awesome to read that many share the same sentiments regarding the "ladies should not invite guys to dance" topic. I'm a beginner and new to the scene, and I've learnt that when you are new to the social dances, people don't know you and what you can do. the first year of dancing, I seldom get invited to dance and 50% of the time I'm just waiting around (cause I thought I shouldn't ask a guy to dance) and i was so bored, at times sad and dissapointed and frustrated because no one wanted to dance with me. Then I brought this up with my instructor and they were shocked, they said "you can ask the guy to dance!! who said you can't!?".. and with a few pushes and much observations of leads, I gathered my gutts I asked a few to dance, and I had a great time.
so from my experience... to ladies who are beginners and shy, one small tip... ask your instructors to dance, and if possible your classmates too, then at least the social dancers will be able to see you and take notice of you and hopefully they will ask you to dance
Yeah, it's easy to leave party success up to guys inviting you.. :) But if you want to dance, you make your own luck, success :) Sure it's nicer that the guys you want to dance with, invite you first, but if it doesnt happen..why not make it happen yourself? :)
amazing...if there is one channel on youtube that is actually "useful and informative". its this one!
Sachin Mahesh wow thank you so much my friend! Means a lot!
Thank you for sharing these ideas. So far I learned so much from your videos. Thank you a lot !
But I could not believe my ears from minute 6:10 to 6:20.
If I am in the mood to dance and I like the song, I will always ask guys, if they want to dance with me. I don't struggle around, I just ask with a smile: "hey, wanna dance?" And I have the impression that most of them appreciate it so far. Of course I also love being asked for a dance. But I prefer spending my time on the dancefloor - not next to it waiting.
Am Wir heh its kinda nice to invite guys, but it starts happening way too much. Its better to leave the invitation itself to guy, you can still approach in good way.
Overdoing is not good, and guys should be the ones inviting. I know a lot of ladies who dont invite guys but dance all the time - why? Because of smile, being close to dance floor, enjoying music being alone.
OnKizomba - Dainis, do you mind me contacting you personally via Email, etc...? I think you brought up a very interesting topic on rules and ethics on the dancefloor and I would like to share my thoughts with you. I meanwhile read all you other comments on this guy/girls-inviting issue and I get the idea about what you meant to say in the first place.
Loved the video. You have been posting really nice videos on which normally people (instructors etc on youtube) don't focus on, but are extremely essential. Like this one for Social Kizomba dancing.
I'm one of those people who had to go to new cities to dance. Not in a festival, but a random local social. And, as a guy, in a new place it gets a bit tough. On top of that I'm still a bit shy. What helps is if someone from the organiser/dance school asks new people to dance. That breaking the ice builds the confidence. Not just for the new guy/girl, also for the potential people they might ask. Thanks to the school where I learnt Kizomba, I have learnt the rules you mentioned - shower, appropriate amount of deo/perfume, extra shirts and towel (coz hygiene), asking politely and always smiling and genuinely be in good mood (that shows you are actually enjoying the music). Even after this, in my experience, if someone from the hosts break the ice for me, I have more and better dances in that city. That kind of shows that not only you can dance, you enjoy dancing too. That then shows to local people that "hey, maybe even I should dance with this person". It's same for both leads and followers. I have had some experiences where the female instructor asked me for dance, and started chatting saying "hey, looks like you are new to this place". Asking people who are new to the scene is always good. If it is a beginner, then, as you said, it's such a joy to make someone new to fall in love with dancing. If it's just a dancer new to city, asking them would help you put a new good dancer on the floor. If you are an instructor or part of host team, ask new people always! Don't sit in a corner as a celebrity. It's responsibility of these "senior" dancers to help grow the community and spread the love.
yes, well said!! Totally agree - it's not easy to get started in new environment, but dancer community is pretty friendly most of the time if you are a good guy/girl.. :) (not weirdo..or drunk)
That: "don't say yes when you don't want to dance" should be the Bible of Kizomba social dancing....I've had some of those, and it really does suck dancing with one whose not there....
Amazing video as always!
Mike Uzumaki hey!! Thank you for feedback hehee! Yeah - you can always say polite no, and come back when u are ready, in the right place!
It should be the bible of all social dancing.
If you're dancing with a less experienced partner, don't criticise them or try and "teach" them, keep that to the classroom (even then, that's the job of the teacher), only offer advice, etc., if they ask - otherwise try and keep things within their level (well, maybe push it a little) and try to make sure you are leading them properly as we leads can sometimes get a little lazy without realising it if we're dancing with higher end dancers too often.
I agree with the music - even if I know I am going to a class I will put my headphones on in work and listen to Kizomba (and similar) music. Surprising how much difference that can make.
And as others have said, there's nothing wrong with ladies asking for a dance if she really wants to. Especially with newbies - it can be very intimidating when you first start going to socials and can be very hard for some to ask a lady to dance.
Yesss. Thank you for these tips. It sounds all logical but sometimes I forget them.
Yeah indeed, Serreos - same for me..the most important things sometimes are so obvious :) Thanks!
Excellent video, we need more videos like this! I helped me alot.
thank you so much Bostjan!
Please continue making more tips, you help me so much
thank you Daynia! :)
Hi! Great video, as usually! Absolutely useful, not boring at all. I agree with all tips.
A lot of discussions about girl invitations. It depends on situation. The better dancer you are, the more possible that you will get an invitation to dance from the lady. In our country, in Latvia, mostly man are asking for dance. It`s our social dance culture, I think.
So, ladies, if man is not exhausted after non-stop dancing, you can invite. Analyze man`s body language. That`s my opinion.
For ladies the tip to dance longer on parties is simple - increase your dancing level, so man will want to dance with you all the time.
In kizomba it`s all about building connection. It cannot be done with every partner. But, if it happens, the magic starts. So try do develop this feeling with every partner you dance with, and you will get this feeling more often. And when couple has this magic feeling, they can dance for a long time... and nothing else matters.
ouh great thoughts Pavels!! :) totally agree! :)
Great tips very useful video. Thank you.
Great video! I agree with most of your points. "The ladies should not asks guys to dance" I do not agree with. From what i noticed there is a shortage of leads in the Kizomba community. If a lady sees an open lead she should go for it if she wants to dance. Due to this, I try to limit dances to 2 songs and dance with as many people as possible. #taxidancer haha
Also, the point you made about learning to follow is crucial! I was a horrible lead until I took the time to be lead in a dance. Now every chance I get to follow is a great learning experience.
ouh appreciate your feedback - definitely getting your point about ladies inviting guys eh. Yeah, about being lead - still on the way.. probably best to be lead by great male dancers, but havent gone to that yet eh.
OnKizomba - Dainis I have had a male lead once but it was my kizomba instructor. the rest were ladies. it makes a big difference.
I've been following the channel for a while, amazing contents lots of great videos. Huge appreciation for the effort!
I agree to mostly, the only thing that I'd not say a yes is the invitation:) as before. It's dancing after all. If you like he's / her dance or selection of moves fire away :)!
Enjoy! Keep the content coming!
Hunor Buzas whats your take on invitation? What would be perfect way?
when to go for tarraxinha immediately 2nd song 3rd song
Hi Dainis, i like your point about dancing by just using slow basic in defferent variations and weight changes. But did you already posted a video for example with you dancing this way with someone( you showed it little bit in the video but alone) Its really interesting to see it in a real dance
Hey Marke, you can check Albir's videos on this channel - just use search on Onkizomba - he has quite a bit of slow dances..where he does that. He's the best to learn from :)
Very useful video ❤
And It was good to talk about cleaning. We hate touching sweaty wet t-shirts!!
Nice video, I figure out most by myself already hard way. Is shame that people don't teach this at first kizomba lesson :D
I disagree about lady inviting as well. From my "beginner" point of view, yes I get that ideally, Guy should invite girl. But if you don't have natural charisma+selfconfidence and you are starting with "social" kizomba, is crazy hard. Especially if you don't have any other dancing experience or dancing partner willing to practice with you. First two months i was completely scared of social dancing. Then i gather all courage and I went after our kizomba 1 course to party. I didn't know anybody there, I asked first lady to dance and she said no in wierd way. Second lady after few minutes said Yes, and it was an absolutely terrible experience! We was not even able to dance basic. And after that I got lecture what I did wrong and I had no idea what she tried to say, since I didn't know the terminology. I was even embarased to admit that i have no idea what she talking about. That discourages me for a long time.
It get better when I actually got invited to dance from a girl. I just came to say hi to friends, and some lady came with a smile and she said "I love this song, wanna try ?". We are friends since and just for this single moment, if I see her bored on a party I am always coming for her. Even if there are better followers around!
I would add tip for girls "Don't lecture on a dance floor", If is really necessary gave you partner one small tip in really friendly form like "I personally like more, when ..... ". Is not about information itself, everybody wants to get feedback, but timing and form is crucial (thats is kinda universal). But your feedback is important for us! For guys, dont give any feedback if it is not explicitly requested :D. If something messes up it is anyway on 80 percent our fault since we are leading.
Thx for video !
Regards
Daniel
danoseus ouh great feedback! Good point its not black/white, lots of gray area :)
You are right, But just use the perfume once. A lot of us have sensitive smell and even if we don’t, one spray is more than enough! 😊 Perfume smell can make ladies dizzy.
Nice video! There is a lot of conscious and unconscious bias on the dance floor, so I especially like the advice encouraging men to invite ladies they don't see dancing much. Not forgetting about the beginners is also very important. We need to see more of this in the dance scene! Like the others, I have to disagree a bit about ladies asking guys to dance. In the states, you practically have to! As you emphasized, there is a tasteful way to invite someone to dance. If I see that a guy has been dancing non-stop and woman after woman has been asking him to dance, then that's a clear indicator not to ask for a dance. As always, I love your videos!
ouh thanks :) yeah - it was my mistake about ladies asking guys - didnt explain too well, nothing bad about it - it's just going crazy - trend is that ladies just non-stop rush after guys without giving a chance to be invited.
Thank you for watching this video! How was it? Was it useful - too long, absolutely boring?
What did you take away and do you have some social dancing tips/stories to share?
Dude, you have such an awesome channel! Open up a Patreon so that we can contribute. I would love to hear the videos with better sound and video quality, since the content is already very good!
eh thank you for the support! Will think on that, though I generally don't like donation model... not a good business model.. thinking in future maybe to collaborate with some top dancers..will see..
Great one once again my friend. I don't agree on everything, but there are some Amazing advices there. :)
I disagree about the Lady inviting, I think it's great that a woman takes up the courage to do it. It shows that she really enjoys dancing and she's not just gonna wait for it to happens. One of my best dance ever was with a girl that invited me. I didn't really see her, and it would have been a shame if we missed each other because our dance together was one of the most epic moment of my dance life. One that showed me the Magic of the dance.
The "build the connection" advice is great ! I tend to forget to do that depending of the song. Like you I use the Beginning of the song to gauge the lady's level and then adapt from that. If she's a beginner, sometimes I'll increase little by little the difficulty for her. The goal is to give her the opportunity to improve on a technical way too.
I agree with the "2 dance" basis. 1 dance I feel it's rude, as it doesn't really give neither of the partner to accostumate to the other one.
"Your first dance will determine the rest of the party". Also true !
Now you Made me want to dance really Bad. :D
Moranta F haha, super funny - i have quite a few same kind of stories where lady invited me and if she didnt i wouldnt have had amazing dances! Yes, there are exceptions to this :)
- but why women shouldnt invite - its not right. Its like girl opening doors and guy walking in first. Sure u can do it sometimes and this doesnt apply as much when u know each other.
Its just it happens way way too much in dancing world. It becomes robotic, ladies sitting in rows for pro dancers to have that one dance - its like factory. Not enjoyable.. i dont like dancing when i am tired and saying yes just because lady asked.. when u dance u should enjoy and be able to give a good dance.
I guess we just have different point of view on the matter (which is fine :) ). It would be too hard to have this discussion over youtube, better leave it for around a cup of coffee the next festival we'll manage to both go ;).
I see your point, it's true that it's not enjoyable when you ask a girl for a dance and she answer that she's waiting for that guy. Or that you see her refusing, saying that she's tired and the next song rushing to dance with another. But hey, shit happens :)
I have a question for you, would love to have your thought about this : Do you think you can have a connexion with every partner ?
No definitely don't think I can build connection with every partner. I definitely try - but sometimes it really doesn't work, which is okay.
Your thoughts?
I agree with that. As every other human to human interaction (be it social, romantic or else) I think you can't "click" with everyone. Some you'll connect right away, some you may take some times, but some it might never happen. Like you said it's fine. But it was a big realisation for me as it reduced my "performance anxiety" a lot !
Thanx for movie :)
szeroki you are welcome! What did u take away?
I take step from 1:14 to 1:16 - I like that you do it smooth ;) I must learn that. And all the other thing You make me more strong about my feeling and thoughts about dance :) It's nice to know that other people feel the sama about kizomba. I like your movies. Hope we meet at bachaturo next year ! ;)
i completly disagree that ladys should not "invite" man. maybe: different countries, different customs.
nearly every girl i invited for a dance, also said " YES" . in the 9 years i am dancing, only 4-5 girls said "no" , when i asked for a dance. but i am not sure, if all of them really "love" it. may be some only dance with me, as i am one of the guys dancing very long or as i am the DJ at some partys.
i will invite and dance with the same woman 2 , maximum 3 time. but after that i expect from her , that SHE invites ME. otherwise i will not dance with her any more, as i think she does not really like to dance with me so much.
but i think you have to differ: local dancing scene, where you know most people, and festival partys in foreign citys.
it´s ok to say: girls should approach. and the final step should be by the man. but this is only a "formality".
Yeah, I guess different customs. It's also my mistake, I didnt explain that inviting part too well. It's just on festivals there is too much of ladies hunting for guys happening, which over time create bad vibes eh.
And this completely is not relevant to the people you know, because with people you know you can talk easily...and locally you know everyone :)
"Have ebe & karina explaining some ideas for tarraxinha"
it's in the end of the video - Ebe & Karina gives some guidance that's what I meant
When you are talking about the amount of dances you give a single lady i'm guessing you are talking about mixed and not full songs. If you are talking about full songs that would be like 15 minutes that you dedicate to one person. For me everyone gets one full song ranging between 4-5 minutes. Personally I think 3 songs (12-15 minutes) that's too much. Side note: I wish DJs didn't mix songs so much to create this continuous stream of music. A song tells a story from beginning middle to end. When its mixed its hard to stay on the same page and then later ending a song mid mix can be really awkward. Overall, very good tips that I agree with.
ouh yes, good point - well, I always check around 8-10 mins. At least for me less then that is too little time to build connection.
Yes, I agree about the mixing...mixing is nice, but overmixing...I do miss development - beginning / middle / bridge / end... too.
sometimes i need one full song to get warm with a new leader...
so you would say "thank you" when it will just flow!?
I'm learning Salsa (my first dance) and online people say to never dance longer than 1 song (2-3 minutes) with the same person. So at the end of a night you had like 20-30 dance partners. Is it different for different dances?
it definitely is different. kizomba songs are typically around 3 mins long. whereas salsa songs are mostly at least 5mins long (and can even be of 10mins). It's very rare (in my experience) that one would dance more than one song with the same person in salsa. In Kizomba I agree with @OnKizomba, you need the first song to build connection and then go for more songs depending on how good the connection is and how much you enjoy dancing with each other. Also, Salsa is high energy dance, whereas Kizomba is relaxed and when you get that good connection you might lose track of time. Sometimes it feels like being in trance.
dont understand the problem why are women not allowed to ask men for a dance? we are not in 1800 anymore! some men told me to do that, because if they stop dancing, they don't get to the corner to invite you...
eh, it was my mistake - there is no problem, just wanted to point out that it's a bad trend, that ladies basically run for good guys all the time. Didn't explain it well enough - eh, you are right! :)
well, also Sonja don't sit in corner :) yeah, corners are tricky :)
OnKizomba - Dainis So do you think that you are too good to be invited? Only you can have the right to choose your dance partner then? I don't understand why it would be only one way... I hope begginers girls who listen to your videos won't listen to you... Otherwise, they will never progress!!
Olivia, i apologise - no of course i dont think i am too good to be invited. I was just trying to address the craze that's happening, where ladies keep running for guys and in turn guys get more arrogant and we enter the dark side of kizomba ... it happens like crazy in France especially, when teachers only go for girls that would do something more with them.
I didnt explain the point well enough and no - I didn't mean to say it's bad for ladies to invite guys. I was implying - yes, go - just still the nice way is to allow a guy to ask himself - you still approach. I always get the point when lady approaches me and starts talking - I invite her - even if technically she invited me.
Okay, I understand what you mean for the first part of your response and you are right. I went to Paris 1 month ago and it is true guys are becoming arrogant.
I understand what you mean for the second part too. However, I won't talk to every guys that I wanna dance with. I try to be on the dancefloor at maximum so if I start having conversation with all the guys that I want to invite... Or same way if they start talking to me I'm loosing the opportunity to dance. I'm an addicted kizomba dancer. I wanna talk if I'm tired. I would not invite a guy sitting or having a conversation cuz it means, he is tired too or doesn't want to dance :) Anyway, I like your videos :) Keep going :)
Girls don t listen. It s always pleasant to be invited :D it shows how much you like dance. Just don t invite to much the same guy and too much guys. If you invite too much the same guy, he can feel hoged. And if people see a girl inviting only the bests dancers, people LL think that she s not social.
Thibaud Favreau yeah talked to some ladies, that okay one you can invite once... its just that it happens way too much nowadays.
"ginga is like bottom part..." - "girls don't invite guys"... So many errors in stance. Its ok to be a beginner. Its not OK to teach wrong concepts to beginners. You are just amplifying your own errors. Before teaching, please learn properly, and help people to dance Kizomba the right way. Also: please don't mix kizomba with other dances and still call it Kizomba.
Most of girls so much attitude...only dance with tall guy or instructor not dance with new person that's the bad thing unnecessary attitude if not chance to get new people how to they improvement dance...well girls has to learn not show much attitude....