Psychological manipulation: An expert explains parental alienation to "48 Hours"
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- Опубликовано: 22 мар 2019
- How can one parent turn a child against the other parent? Amy Baker, Ph.D, a researcher and author, explains parental alienation.
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I have been through this evil. My first son had been groomed by the alienators (my ex and his (now deceased) mother). I have been in mourning for over 20 years now, and sadly have no hope of having a healthy relationship with him. He married someone with the same energy as his father, so he will continue to be manipulated as he has been his whole life. It baffles my mind how souls blindly believe the lies and never question. My own mother was the same way, turned/groomed against me, her only daughter. This life on earth has been HARD. Just know you are all not alone in your suffering. The courts don't do their job, in my case police lied, doctors lied. My ex's Aunt had $$ and could buy the opinions of others. It's crazy and I never saw it coming.
😢sadly yeS
Maybe you should reflect on why people don't like you instead of blaming other and turning to an unproven theory
Yeah and u taking the time to comment, Maybe if ud been there and seen her struggle to keep her rights at fair standard visitation been party to the case then ud have the right to say she's blamed everyone else !! My children aunt paid for their dad custody situation and I cdnt afford a atty to match theirs status and they left me stuck n a unworkable order using legal tactic abuse !!! Yes people can even still own up to their mistakes and say ok let's fix this but when u being stone wall no communications from the other party just speak with my atty and they tell u I'm can't discuss anything due to client privacy u on a hamster wheel !! Their atty said those people said I need to do z y and z to get outta supervise visit 's but their atty won't work with me to prove I'm meeting Their request and told me hire another lawyer 💔!! To the point that I don't even want b here anymore so broken 💔 & finally $$$$ spent too !!!
💔
@@jherboss2516 sounds like you are just like her ex-husband! Disgusting.
Some parents dont even realize the psychological damage they are doing to their children.
Yup
No they realize they simply don't care they want to make a point at all cost no matter who it effects
My mother kept my father away and went out of her way to alienate him. It caused tremendous damage. Then as an adult, my ex abducted my children, and of course, since I'm a man, the system failed me and it was decades before I could find my children. By then, the damage was done. She cheated and was abusive. But I'm the villain. The system is a disaster, and encourages this sort of behavior. I've been a victim of both ends of it.
It seems like no matter how cooperative or cordiial and thoughtful I am regarding my efforts to make sure that the kids and her life is disrupted as minimal as possible, simply because I left her its still not enough. I could have taken more than half and had her paying me child support and the fact that I walked away from all of it is still not enough. She still does this with my kids. I have a number of text conversations of her trashing me to me my son. She doesn't care about anyone as long as she is right. For those of you who are dealing with this at the moment you may want to look into what is known as Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder.
Your sperm donor was a monster
Children who are alienated from a parent have a 50% chance of being alienated from their children.
It happens to women too in court
This is the silent American pandemic
Also known as social media, and the result is a Narcissistic Pandemic
Not just in America. 😡
I’m going this right now and it’s the most horrific thing I’m going through. Grieving the loss of your living children 😢
Domestic abuse has Never been higher, A+ quote from " Billy Bollen" very COMMUNISTIC
Me too 13 YEARS she's now married at 27, my ex not let me at wedding
Me too. 21 months into being abandoned and it feels like an impossible situation. I don't know how to fix it.
Me too right now
Parents that do that to their children should be in prison for the rest of their lives. It is one of the most evil things that you can do to alienate a child from their family. It is evil. Even if you are able to reconnect with a parent, the brainwashing is never really gone. It is pure evil.
Parental Alienation, at its core, is child abuse. When one parent decides to decrease the pool of love that their own child has available to them, that's Abuse. Especially when the alienated parent has done nothing to deserve that. It's pettiness. It's anger. It's hatred. All feelings the alienating parent has towards the alienated parent. & they use their child, not as a separate entity from themselves, but as a weapon against the other parent. As a parent currently being alienated from his son, I will NEVER understand why she would hurt our son, in order to hurt me. But it's doing way more damage to our son than its doing to me. Idk why she refuses to acknowledge that.
I have been dealing with this for many, many years! I am the Mom and my ex, who was an alcoholic, systematically groomed my two sons to hate me! I was doing so much better after years of therapy, in dealing with the hostility. I was at peace and just accepted the fact that, no matter what I do, it is always wrong. Unfortunately, my oldest son,, who is also an alcoholic with an explosive temper,, was diagnosed with cancer 6 months ago. He let me know this, even though he never includes me as his family and makes me upset every time I talk to him. So, now, I am pulled back into his horrible behavior. He never fails to call his wife and kids but doesn't include me as "family" I am now, extremely depressed again and cry all the time! I honestly don't know what to do!!
I'm sorry you're dealing with this love. But the best thing you can do is pull back. You've already mourned once for him. Why mourn twice again? If he continually refuses to see the truth.. then its time to move on. You deserve to live your live without having to seek validation from someone whom you already opinion doesn't matter because it mirrors the abuser they had as well. Im not saying to hate him. But to give yourself the space and peace you so deserve.
Both my biological daughter and son were severely brainwashed by their mother, my ex, against me. Both kids almost as soon as they turned 18 completely dumped me and willfully had themselves adopted by their stepfather. After being a loving, caring, and great father to them for over 18 years, I am left with nothing but a broken heart. It's disturbing how evil and selfish my ex was to have completely turned my kids against me all when I was an amazing father to them.
I am so sorry. I am the female version of exactly what you experienced. I breastfed my two kids for 1 yr each, changed all of their cloth diapers (and hung them on a line to dry, as we couldn't afford paper diapers), made homemade food for them, I drove them to school and picked them up everyday for 6 years ( even when I was sick) helped in their classrooms, worked at night to buy them Christmas gifts each year, planned their birthday parties, put my family first throughout their lives-
BUT when I went back to school
(which I paid for without any help from him) He took over brainwashing my teenagers against me. I felt like a scapegoat and could not figure out why they would treat me so badly.
Fast-forward 25 yrs. I was discarded by my husband after 40 yrs of marriage- very brutally and cruelly on false charges. My adult children will have nothing to do with me yet have never heard my side of any of it. This whole thing was planned by him as he hid all of the assets over the years.
So, yes this happens to both males and females-
We are tricked into believing in faithful marriage, yet are deceived by evil people.
Losing your children to parental alienation is far worse than death.
🙏🙏🙏
This is happening to me right now.
Me too 😢
When did you find out it was happening to you?
May the mercies of god shine on you
You’re not alone. Stay strong we have to keep fighting don’t you dare give up
@@tylerbenrich thank you. Im not sure what to do anymore, but I won’t give up. My son hates me so much and he’s an adult so my hands are tied. I want to text but it just makes him angry. He won’t answer my calls or reply, so I don’t know. Thank you for the encouragement.
God with us all still going through “Parental Alienation” and dealing with our ex spouses who cause the damage (Been almost three years and I am still fighting to see my two teens son & daughter) ❤️🤘✝️
In my personal experience I’ve seen in my own family members , who have used their child as a form of control to control , the dynamics of the relationship and the situation of the family, of the the loved ones, either by not allowing the other parent to see the child , or turn the child against their own parent , many games and forms of manipulation , that will have a lasting and profound impact in the lives of all involved, many people who have been through this experience . I’ve seen either walk away or are still dealing with it in their own way but indirectly so as to remain in their children’s lives , unfortunately the selfishness of the individual who is not thinking about the child , if they were they would not be doing such acts , both parents being a part of a child’s life is a big part of their lives granted both are healthy individuals…
Heart Wrenching😢
More prevalent than we realize..
...
I have a big problem with the courts telling a parent that if they haven't seen their kid in over 7 or 10 years (although that parent has made attempt after attempt ...but due to the alienating parent no contact has been made ) that it's not good for them to come back into their life because quote" it's been too long," I'm going to say here today that there is no amount of time that is too long. That if a parent has been alienated for let's say 10 years that is not a justification for not allowing a child back into the parents life. First step dad's or stepmothers are allowed to come into a child's life , somebody they never known before and that's all the sudden okay it may be 10 years later after a divorce a stepparent comes in and nobody says anything about that. Even if it's been a 10-year span the biological parents still have tenure over the stepparent. But I see in case law courts saying to biological parents it has been too long that it would be detrimental now..... That should not possibly be true if on the flip side you're okay with allowing a stepparent to come in out of nowhere and it's suppose to be okay when that happens. Step parents come into kids lives sometimes when kids are turning all different ages . Why is it detrimental for example for a biological parent to reconnect after 10 years .....but if let's say the mother remarries when her child is 12 .... This 12 year old knows the biological parent even if it was for one year ( parents divorced at age 1 hypothetically speaking) how can it also not be detrimental for the step parent to all a sudden show up in this child's life ? A total stranger although the biological parent is the one who gets told us detrimental....this is total BS . Second we see Air Force pilots who were shot down in war.....and spent time as a prisoners of war... Some who even they thought were dead come back 15 years or 20 years in one article I read and when they have been absent out of their kids lives and return their kids love them so you can't tell me that it's detrimental because of time time means nothing under these circumstances.
I went through this in the 90s and now have adult children who are just full of anger and hate. Children rarely come back around if they've been brainwashed their whole life by the other parent.
They always place the man as the culprit.
Fathers are overwhelmingly the targeted parent… I was one. My kids and I have been on the mend for several years now, but it was a dark, helpless time for too long.
It is the worst thing ! I’ve been through it and still it continues.
This is abuse. No too ways about it. Its a crime. Its defamation, slander, manipulation, exploitation, They force the child to adopt the hatred and contempt the alienating parent has for the other parent, and force the child to actually abandon them and any life the child once had with them , and in severe cases the child is threatened to comply or face the consequences.
Why dont judges know what to do? What?? Im stunned. When has parental rights superseded ‘do no harm’? Ok judges Listen carefully, I am going to tell you what to do. This is a child PROTECTION issue, NOT a custody issue. Your first and foremost objective is to ensure the safety and well being of a child. A parent will fall into two category’s. Dumb or ill. Ignorant or willed. An ill parent deliberately hurting their child? You do not allow unsupervised visitation. Period.
The term Parental alienation was coind by a discrased phycologist Richard Gardner. He thought it was ok for adults to have sexual encounters with children, and removing them from a sexually or physically abusive parent was actually worse than letting them endure abuse.
I been Alienated for 20 years made to pay support and earned a crap ton of interest because of it .
I have lost jobs reported it and they just kept the ball rolling but if the other parent had hardships they would understand.
Been given up on the fact i'll never see my first born and i am not going to look for him either.
At this stage of my life i just want this child support over so i can move on with my family that i created after all the hell i been through ,This is the main reason why the younger generation will not be having children and this country will regret destroying people like this.
Soon they will be crying for people to have children and all men will just say no because it's not worth the emotional and financial damage and well being and then that's end human race over because of greed and manipulators 💯
My ex did this to my children. And to our fellow friends.
An evil narsissist. She loves it.
This happened to me, except my father moved us across the globe away from our mother. I was the only girl living with 3 guys. The amount of anxiety and depression I feel is boyond words.
This syndrome resembles Stockholm
My partner is going through this with his two kids . With two exes he has . It’s crazy their actually people would consider making their kids feel like they don’t have another parent . Also they get the entire world to believe that something is wrong with their other parent . The oldest has done some evil things with her mother and mother has also done some evil things to my partner. They coming around to make it look like they want civil relationship with my partner and my partners family but personally don’t trust it because his ex has caused so much damage to my partner . I don’t think it will ever end with his children but sure let’s me know that she was very abusive to him before she started to use the kid against him and his other ex was too . We have been to court with his oldest many times I will definitely needs to be trained professionals working in these courtrooms and everything about self esteem, depression also anxiety we know his oldest goes through it .
To day is my birth day of my kids . last call i did was in novemebr when she said to my son to call me with my first name !! I was devastated , Now I will sue her in the court for parental alienation , and more if I could just put her to jail I will do , some souls never learn love or care for another person,
My son was just fine 2 day ago when I spoke to him he even ask for me to say my number to him and now today he talking about how he don’t care about me and how he don’t care I didn’t let it get to me because I prepared my self for this I know it not my son I know his evil dad is teaching him the wrong stuff
I'm going through this right now with an ex that displays narcissistic and misogynist behaviors hes grooming my daughter to say things that never happened ,and speaking for her so he can remain in control .Two weeks without her at our home where she has lived for 4 years!!!! It should be illegal
Can parental alienation include one parent always siding with the kid(s) in complaints against the other parent?
Please be aware that narcissistic siblings do this ALSO.
Thank you for your reply.
We cannot ignore the people that claim this with no backing, yet are coddled by the court as if it was true.
My mother never did anything along the lines of this, yet she has been accused of it for years due to be denying any contact with my abuser.
@@oh_look_a_nerd384 Me too
Regardless of if the parent did something wrong or not parents should not make the kids hate the other
It’s been 4 years since my daughter alienated from me
This happens during marriages and is often the cause of the divorce - when the other parent finally figures out what is happening (and then it is often too late to change it).
i fully realized like a few days ago that i was brainwashed and manipulated when i was a kid (2012-2015). it was by both my mother and her now ex husband.
In other countries parental alienation is a crime.
I just gave up 🤷 14 years of BS at this point I felt it was more in my daughter's best interest and my best interest if I just gave up full custody and told my ex and her never to contact me again 😞
And how has it been? How is it going? I am about to make this decision myself...does it get any easier?
Honestly, I feel like I’m at that point as well. My ex has the millionaire parents that pay for his attorney fees and the judge is onto starting to realize it now but I have a hearing in a few weeks where I can present all the ways my ex has alienated me from my child.
Don’t give up
Let’s be honest, women do this to men often! Why are they using this case to push a stigma against men and marketing it!?
Because no one can ever tell the truth about women in a public space
Women do this more in my experience. It's to gain custody often times.
thatscorrect
@@neumaticimpact
Because that fits the agenda to this heartless evil creatures. I hope God will make justice for all the men (60-70% of the cases).
@@DragoSarghi2507 here you mention that statistic again, where did you get it?
I am going through this right now and neither the therapist my child has (on the contract the therapist is contributing to it) nor the guardian ad litum.
My husband is dealing with the madness of some people! weird people
NEEDS TO CRIMINAL CHARGED LAWS NEED CHANGE
How can I counter this?
Is this Amy Baker?
My veteran husband is experiencing this from his ex. Can anyone please help?
Fellow Veteran on the same boat here.
Honestly, I just know that if you document the text, know your disability rating (my husband is 90%- includes PTSD/Depression), see a VA therapist and be totally honest/factual and play hopefully the cards right… a lawyer could use it BUT it cost. We are still looking 😢 too. Just start there.
Thank you for your service and I am proud of you. Don’t stop fighting, I stand by you sir!
Also, if you have depression/ptsd, you could claim “intentional emotional distress”.
Lord, please help to establish government-funded and protected trained specialists for this pathology in all areas of the world (need government funding as narcs go after therapists who successfully deprogram children... causing many therapists to step away...
But only to punish men
I need advice my BM IS DOING this right now
This "expert" gave away why the concept is problematic within the first 30 seconds. She says its a family dynamic in which a child has been manipulated to reject the other parent "who did nothing wrong". And how exactly are we differentiating between a parent who did nothing wrong, vs a child that has legitimate concerns due to actual experienced abuse? According to alienation experts, children who have been alienated will exhibit the exact same symptoms as a child who has experience legitimate abuse from a parent. So how are we making the distinction if the behaviors are supposedly the same?
As it turns out....courts don't make the distinction very well. So what you have is situations where a protective parent (usually mom) is trying to save their child from further abuse, but then the guilty party (usually dad) will counter claim that the protective parent is trying to "alienate" the child "for no good reason". This tactic overwhelmingly favors fathers in these cases, and these cases are basically ground zero for this nonsense. The appellate courts are already starting to catch onto this trend, hopefully its only a matter of time before the lower courts figure this out.
It is worth looking at the literature for this. The most pronounced feature is the "all bad" perception. Even children who are abused will be able to recall good days with the abusive parent
A second important feature is the child knowing about and using language that suggests age inappropriate knowledge of the parents relationship.
@@DietconsultingIn our case, we showed that the child DID love and want to visit their father (This is when we had primary physical custody and she wasn't seeing him as much). The child's therapist at the time even said as much when she talked to the parenting coordinator involved with the case. So if they were alienation experts, shouldn't the child saying anything positive about the father be proof that alienation is not occuring? Keep in mind this is the same child that made disclosures on 3 separate occasions about her father abusing her. However, that was still twisted as us "contradicting" our story and coaching her. So again, even by the supposed criteria of how to differentiate alienation from actual abuse, they failed to do that. Because again, there is no agreed upon, clinical definition. Alienation can basically mean whatever the lawyers, judges and evaluators involved want it to mean.
Sadly women do it way more often than men and the women have custody which means they are doing very often
Women are the main alienators and leave it to CBS to showcase a male alienator.
We must find a final solution to the white male question
Of course they speak of this from a womans point of view ..SMH
0:52 As if the mental torment to the adult is not enough
Right she replies with this question "Why does this matter?"
Very bad 😢
They are talking about this as if it is a 2 directional thing. It's women alienating fathers. Every time.
You should meet my ex. I have been alienated from our daughter who I raised for the first 8 years of her life and have been stripped away from her for the last year. Only recently has the court started to see what he has been doing but it’s not enough, at least it doesn’t feel like it.
@@jmah5553 thank you for saying that. It’s getting a little better each day. We have a Guardian Ad Litem now that I fought to get and he is making some huge changes so I can be in my daughter’s life again and I’m grateful for that. Now I can have calls with my daughter which wasn’t happening before so I’m grateful.
Evidence. Evidence. Evidence my friends.
@@ceceparra U just described exactly what's going on w/ me, a father, being alienated from my son. It's not that it can't happen to some women. It's that 98% of the time, it's the father that's alienated.
@@reallue and that is horrible. Parental Alienation whether it’s the father or the mother is wrong and it should be illegal. Honestly I think if prison sentences were filed for it, maybe it would happen less.