Hey! have you joined the High Vibe Tribe yet? its my new free community! I go live and do free workshops and meditations in there, join here! aarondoughty.com/highvibetribe
That’s not true whatsoever. So if I go to a bar with this mindset and then try to approach the most gorgeous women then it would happen? Now I’m left regretting not having approached as she left, and wondering about the girl I saw driving next to me down the road in Lodi earlier, and the girls that ran away from me, all the negative shit back to back, your God and universe doesn’t bless anyone, however long you can keep lying to yourself that you get things by not going for it by all means fool yourself some more, this Universe is SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD, but apparently fucking NOT.
@@GabrielXDrumsIf you’re focusing on and taking care of yourself in your everyday life, you won’t be seeking validation from women at bars or anywhere else. You’ll be content and at ease with yourself which will lead to women coming to you.
@@Nikopup yeah isn’t that funny how it works… bars are tiring, was actually gonna go to one tonight but instead I stayed home and made some comparison videos for my cymbals lol It’s always when I’m not looking that things have happened for me anyways.. that’s not arguable…
@@theresabarnes4940 I encourage you to read Wayne Dyer’s material and his free to watch lectures on you tube. Life changing stuff. He was an amazing man. Good luck on your journey to self love and happiness
Over time at 40 I realized no one can complete me, and we can only complete ourself. And it's liberating. People can come and add joy but none can complete you. Detachment is a gift to love self and others without expectations.
Slowly but surely you’ll unlock everything you need to feel & it’s all within your divine being that’s the beauty about it. You’re never really lonely if you choose to explore how fascinating you are. Don’t forget to smile today!😊
I've been reading a lot of Buddhist based books lately and this resonates with the Buddhist way of life very much. Non attachment is key. Compassion is another. I think it's hard for some to wrap their heads around. How can you be compassionate but at the same time, remain unattached? The answer relies on removing expectations. To act without expectations. You live a compassionate, non attached way of life by acting without any expectations of something in return. Always try your best, regardless of what the outcome might be. Whether it's at your job, a hobby, or a relationship with your significant other. Act with compassion. Expect nothing in return. Stay mindful. And you will be living peacefully.
Take care of yourself and the rest will follow I was doing drugs (an expensive one) every day, drinking every day, living with my girlfriend. I left our home, moved cities 2 months ago today. I'm 60 days off drugs, drank once or twice a week mostly since then and have now committed (3 days) to cutting that out entirely, I haven't missed a day of work (where I'd missed about 20 in Jan/Feb from having cheap rent and an enabling partner) - and I just signed a lease for my own one bedroom apartment for July. It was a miracle to find and get the place, and I attribute it very much to having been putting the work in. Nothing comes free. We have to decide what costs we allow ourselves to pay, and when to remove unnecessary costs entirely.
I’m very proud of you 🙏🏻 I’ve been in a very similar journey and I know God loves us and has always had mercy for us. I’m also walking the sober path and it has been a blessing to me and others around me. Keep going and don’t give up
I’m just starting this journey and it has been hard….for about seven years. The best thing I find that if it’s not in the house I don’t miss it and don’t need it but when it’s there it haunts me. I think this is the year to make big shifts and take care of our health because it’s the most important thing we have. 😇🙏🏼💖moving up in vibration and letting go and of attachments and negative connections has helped big time - and for the first time in a very long time, I feel happy again and can feel my heart. No more escaping / it’s time to feel and heal
It is soooooo true!! 💥Attaching to people will cause repelling them away from you! It has been my experience. And now, when I have got enough love inside myself, I don't need to prove my value by being accepted by others. ✨✨ Of course I still expect my loved ones to love me and treasure me. But if one day they don't treasure me, I will also know how to let go of the unease and the relationship. Because attaching to someone who is not meant to be in my life isn't attractive😂Thank you for making this video🙏🏻 Blessings to you all💖
I use to give EVERYONE 100% attention and wanted to attach to everyone. Now I’ve learned about the power of ignoring which helps me to detach from people. It’s amazing as I am noticing how others are starting to show me respect and are more attractive to me. I’ve broken my past habit of giving EVERYONE FREE ATTENTION. This has greatly helped my attachment issues.
Validate and approve yourself. It starts and ends with us. Once you step away through wanting attention or validation your whole mindset shifts and your life changes. I’m a work in progress. I no longer need or desire external validation or approval I can validate myself. Build a relationship with yourself first and foremost - it’s the most important relationship you’ll ever have. I hit rock bottom and I’ve had to rebuild my whole self from the bottom up. If I can do it anyone can.
For me, what I’ve come to develop is this sense of reparenting my self. My healing came from detaching from who I am. Becoming the observer of my life and has shifted to becoming this relationship between two parts of my self. The inner child that wasn’t allow to be see and the parental figure that I need as a child. I shift between the two personalities where I picture my self as the parent and then as the child. This relationship allow me to be free. I’ve found that meditation allows me to appreciate and notice the different voices in my head and put them in to perspective. In addition to not allowing my self to be totally absorbed by the thoughts since now im able to observe and detach from them. Finally taking back leadership of my life. Thank you Aaron for your perspective and send so much love and support to all those here!
how to detach from the outcome when you are desperate for a job and have nothing to survive on... now that's a mighty workout for your detachment muscle
Not to stroke your ego but you keep getting more funny. I love this humility and confidence, and your ability to laugh about your humanness. Gives a permission slip to the rest of us to be human and own it. Thx for what you do. It’s helped me a lot ❤
The truth is that we all need to be attached as babies and internalise that constant inflow so our hearts are full. It has to happen at that early stage for healthy emotional security. Then there's healthy individuation where we detach. Sadly when we are deprived of attachment stage it's v difficult to detach as it presumes we were attached in the first place. So to ask someone to detach from whatever crumb of "love" they were holding onto can evoke huge abandonment and destabilizing. It is v v painful. Lots of love, compassion, support and God's wisdom and timing to each precious soul on this path. We were created to be loved and to love in that order. ❣
Dude, I appreciate that you lay it down with humor. A little joke and self-parody in the right amount is really humanizing and enjoyable, because we laugh at what we don't want to be! Your loving, light-hearted humor is effective and uplifting, even joyous! So thanks brother!
Deep insights such as these are amazing in a man so young. I'm hitting 70 soon, and am just now catching on to these things. Who knew? After this long life, the Internet is aiding me in becoming self aware. Huge!
Problem are pathological liars and manipulators who are very skillful into projecting the blame - usually by using our mistakes and flaws and errors against ourselves, our moral and ethical standards being used against ourselves.
I'm 68 years old now and have been going through a lot in the last 10 years. I've ALWAYS loved Aaron's videos, but this is another that is on the top of the list to help me better understand my entire life - especially at this point of my life. Thank you Aaron! You're an incredible man and a good man to the core. Just wish we were neighbors.... Not for the endless lectures, but just to share the presence and energy. Calms me now just to think of it.
I resonate a lot with this. I achieved everything I wanted thinking it would bring me happiness. Im talking about money, higher education, moving to another country, relationship, and vacations here and there. Once Im on top Im the most miserable person I’ve ever been my whole life!! It was the time when I got very suicidal, depressed and diagnosed with GAD. I tried to end my self 3 times. That’s when I realised something’s wrong with me and I couldn’t live like this anymore. Read lots of books about psychology, neuroscience, and quantum physics help me a lot. All I do everyday is just reading and watching youtube like this for the sake of my mental health. Thank God I am in a better state of mind now. ❤
Its like walking in the complete wrong direction...seeking love and approval, validation, acceptance et. from outside= the most grucial joke in the cosmic play = quiet sad. Happy awakening...❤
As an only-child that's always been introverted (technically ambivert) and with a strong sense of freedom, detachment is definitely the key. You can care deeply but choose who you give that too and sometimes do it at a distance only.
but the thing is, avoidants may have once been clingy like those with anxious attachment, maybe even MORE needy, and had to learn to shut off emotional needs to survive hyper-independently because we learned the hard way we were both too much and not enough... that in the real world no one actually cares, so we'd better learn to fight alone and put the pedal to the metal...
Wasn't aware of anxious/avoidant. Just dated someone who thought they were an anxious & portrayed themselves as such, but rly they've already transformed into an avoidant. Turns out I'm the opposite of who we both thought they needed. In a past life we were perfect for each other. Life is cruel. 💔⛈️
Growing up I was let down and abandoned by my parents in various ways, wasn’t until I started watching your videos that I learned to detach and really see the bigger picture as to why I act and feel how I do. Thank you for your videos, this one definitely hit home, consciousness and acceptance heals
Exactly! I love this. We must be aware of our egos never ending search and find that unchanging value that’s always here inside of us. Why is it like this though? That things come when you don’t care if they do or not?
Maybe it has to do with control vs allowing room for things to just easily fall into place. I wish I understood the process better bc I am going to need a good job to fall into place before rent is due!
“attachment to shame” wow!! that changed my perspective. I have always adopted the idea that there was something wrong with me, I didn’t realize that is an attachment I can break! Thank you so much, I love your videos 🫶🏼
I was watching a video earlier and it was of a really rich person showing off their house, you could tell just by looking at him he was not happy with himself, sad, lonely, negative. Then I was watching vids of people living very simple lives and they were the most fillfulled, positivity flowing out of them. Theres nothing wrong with setting goals and trying to make money but when you dont share your blessings they become a curse. Great video Aaron 100% agree with this.
I want to thank you sir. This video helped me to start my healing journey and you have helped me to learn and understand what I have been avoiding and not able to know how to heal. I will come to this video for reminder
Thank you for this video. I loved and agreed with all of it except the last truth: there is only you who can make yourself happy. There are people in my life that truly make me happy and other who make me unhappy and I stay far from them. I stay close to people who respect and love me for who I am, they make me happy to be me.
Validation and attention seeking and craving for love are ugly cousins of love.Actually craving is draining.Praising is not filling 😂 and it was lesding to live addiction. Many points are like nailing on forehead. Excellent ... This has been the hidden spot within, which you addressed beautifully and gave the solution too. Attactment is also slavery and never ending thirst which cannot be quenched and it suffocates others.very much insightful.
We couldn't be more magnetic that we already are, in every moment we get back exactly what we are admitting, and this is absolutely the most freaking awesomest thing! Whenever I'm experiencing whatever/who acts in whatever way, I just say to myself: I choose to focus "on this side of the matter" which really means there are only two sides, in alignment or outside of it, and in alignment is looking from my true being; that it's A GOOD THING that I got to be aware of my energetic output YAY❣️ Overall; less thinking, more listening=just being=FEEEEELING IT IN THIS MOMENT when there really is no future anyway, only the sweet now that can become anything❣️🥳🥳
love this ❤ I realized that to detach you actually just have to follow your heart because you’re just doing what makes you happy bc you’re doing it not because u get anything from it
I just get a burst of excitement and see the beauty in exploring the world or creating. Ppl meet me with the happiness flowing through. It never has anything to do with others.
Absolutely! you makes a profound point about the power of being unattached. Letting go of expectations and finding wholeness within ourselves not only attracts love but also fosters genuine connections. 💫
so true aaron. you've done many videos on this but this is very clear. one thing, as ive let go of my career desires, they start to come.... but because i care less, the success doesnt feel as good (but still feels right)...
i needed this so badly, this opened my eyes to how i really do blame everything that’s happened to me as to why i do what i do. i gave my power away and blamed everyone and everything for my own actions. THANK YOU I LOVE YOU this is such a special insightful video im so thankful i came across this and your channel
So helpful🙏🏼❤️🙌🏼 i"ve always been shy, pleapleasing and VERY attachted to people, things and places. Now the latest 2 years i've started to love myself, getting unattachted and exploring what I like/love to do. So liberating🙌🏼❤️ doing it for me and my kids❤
Aaron, you just get better and better. This video is so clear and helps me to understand. I really appreciate that you share your lessons for free! The content is very valueable.
Attachment also breeds neediness. And when you need something it means you don't have it, and you keep pushing it away. When you keep needing something the universe keeps giving you more of that - You keep being in a state of need, as that is what you focus on constantly.
@@terencehennegan1439 It means that when you need something, the universe keeps giving you more. In other words, if you keep needing it, the universe keeps giving you more needing! You have to be in a state that you don't care. Everything you give your feelings to, you keep resisting. If you are alright, whether you have or not, then you will receive it. Let go. Detach from it. If you think of it all day long, that is what you get. more of thinking of that all day long. In the Bible, it says: "Thou shall have it, to receive it" In other words. Just be in the knowing, and it all shows up. 🤗
This is real talk here. I was feeling for a while like people in general didn't like me. No one would make eye contact with me, despite me looking to, or even smile back if I smiled passing them by. One day I just said 'F*ck it, I'm done trying to make contact with people. The. Next. Day. People started smiling at me, saying hello. Strangers, or people I see often but don't know. Blew my mind.
Everything we need to complete us, is within us. It can't be found anywhere else. Thank you for all that you do. You have come a mighty long way and have taught a lot❤
Aaron, you had a big impact on me back in 2021 & 2022. I’m noticing your videos seem a bit darker recently? It’s hard to explain it but it feels like the light is a little dimmed. I’m speaking metaphorically. Just noticing 🙏🏼 I am still forever grateful for your work
This was right on time. I'm a recovering perfectionist and its a constant growing edge. Its interesting bc when I put things out and they aren't perfect but they're deeply authentic - that's the real shit right there.
Aaron thanks SO much for your perspective on this topic. Your perspective has been BEYOND helpful. It started last year with your frame technique meditation. Dancing with my devil & I have nearly danced off the cliff…
As usual you post right when I need it. You’re absolutely right. It’s best to let go and not be attached to the wrong person or people. The popular guy analogy is very funny. Thank god I’ve always been attracted to brains over looks. 😅 I’ve gotten to a point in my journey where I have been able to break away and not seek anyone while I’m still not 💯. Being an introvert is beneficial. When I had a baby the first time I had to be away from them was harder on me then them. It took me over a year to leave them on an overnight trip and even then I couldn’t wait to get back to them. Kids are different though. Namaste 🙏
Thank you for the video. The experiment with the baby and the still face mother triggered something in me, from the unconscious and made me cry for half an hour. I am sure I must have gone through some rejection of this kind as a baby. But it is so heartbreaking, for any parent to do that to their own child. So severely traumatizing!
I just wanted to thank you. Your podcasts and RUclips videos have gotten me through a really tough time right now. I have a better understanding of myself, why I attract the same type of men because of my childhood wound. I feel stronger, that I can lean into tension.
Thanks for sharing this is my favorite so far. We did what we did to survive without a nurturing mother. It sucks we are even on this level of love for all and want to soread what we did not have. Real man this is legit 💯 spot on.tysm for truth teaching 👏
Thank You Aaron ... I have experienced such pain from my Childhood Attachment wounds ... swinging between Anxious and Ambivalent ... craving connection then pushing it away in an attempt to escape a cycle of pain from Childhood ... You are helping me to understand, conceptualise and slowly break free from Attachment ... I realise now that I can break free and experience Love ... by learning to Love myself ... and discarding the Guilt and Shame that I am not good enough ...
Once I lose my center and focus I just come here to listen to your videos and get back on a track ❤️ Thank you so much for putting so much work and effort into making these videos! ❤️They do keep reminding me about self-care and non-attachment ❤️
Hi Aaron, I have to say I felt called to watch one of your videos this week. I have now watched 4 of the videos you have posted in the last 2 weeks and they have been so syncornositic and on topic with my life and what I needed to hear. Thank you for all that you do sharing these insights and this wisdom.
This video hit home so hard that I had to rewind the video like 10 times cause I would get lost in my thoughts of my own personal past of wanting validation and attention
Geez Aaron! I’ve not seen you in years. I watched you from the very beginning. 1.69M?!!!? I’m really happy for you!!! I’ll follow closer now. You look like you’ve grown up and have found your own voice! ❤❤❤❤ Congradulations🎉🎉🎉
Amazing place! Listening to you and taking a walk would be perfect now. Our energy is a gift, we must take care of it... so giving more of ourselves to other people drain us too. I am the Fontain of my own joy, and if I share with the world would be from my passions, multiplying this energy not giving, giving, giving... (for control of ego)
Detaching now from all false help and people that are masked. Reminded today of myself aka my intuition! My intuition is a guide to my unique path ✨🙌🏼🥰
I am very sensitive to energy shifts, much like you say with regards to the baby knowing within seconds of the emotional withdrawal of the mother. This is something I became hyper-vigilant towards as a child growing up. I realised in my last major relationship (which was very toxic) that I was essentially "stuck" in an infantile stage within my nervous system. I had a child with my ex, and she was always pulling away emotionally (and denying it was happening). There was one day she got really angry and left the house in a huff, but it was in this moment that I realised the child and I were exhibiting similar distressed behaviours. It was then that I understood my nervous system was stuck in this position of fear, and instead of repeating the same behaviours, I took up the mantle (because the child could not) to help co-regulate and soothe him. It was a revelation to me (among many other things that I experienced in that relationship timeframe). You're on the money with what you are saying.
Thank you for sharing! You've done a lot of work around attachment Aaron. You said we cannot have attachment and be happy. But isn't attachment a natural part of the human psychie. We just need not overdo it. Balance between self and other.
What you teach is very humbling. I absolutely can see that Ive been the golden retriever in the past. And then I got cats and learning how to be a cat.
Only 7 minutes in but laughing so hard as it is so relatable. I literally coach people in seeking internal validation over external validation, but still feel like I myself need that external validation to feel worthy as my parents did not validate me
Damn, I found this video on my home page. I felt very drawn to it, it couldn't have come at a better timing. I am grateful that I got to see this video, thank you❤
I never realized how funny Aaron is , until I started healing trying to be stoic (aka living in his head) like my dad. Thanks Aaron, both for the humor and to help me be able to experience humor in general.
I feel like we've landed on the same wavelength. I'll meditatiate, and then have some random insight: detachment, like setting your intention, and then detaching from the outcome. I tried this and bam it woks, and then I see your video, and it's like another confirmation. (this has happened nearly every day since my second awakening) subbed and joined the tribe, brother.
People can be attached to things for the wrong reasons. People can be attached to things for good reasons. People can be detached from things for good reasons. People can be detached from things for bad reasons. Our future prospects rely on our reason for what we are responsible to. I would say these are attachments, and those things can be good or bad. What we are attached to will be magnetic to the people who correspond to those attachments. Which can be good or bad depending on the situation. It is reason; not whether we are attached that dictates the nature of our relationships to ideas, people and things.
I’m a toddler mom and I just recently discovered I’ve been struggling with undiagnosed adhd/bpd. I remember seeing the still face experiment a while back and seeing how impactful it is for littles. It’s extremely challenging navigating my own mental health struggles from my own abandonment trauma and trying to be emotionally available for my 3 year old. It’s like trying to operate programming I don’t have while emotionally hemorrhaging. It’s very hard to not shame spiral because I constantly feel like a bad mom. These are the years she’s supposed to be learning her own nervous system regulation so I’ve been going back to square one with my own nervous system regulation. It’s hard because sometimes I have to choose separation in the moment if that means we both get to regulate on our own and return in harmony. It is the most intense emotional training I’ve ever been through.
Gold retriever and a cat....I love this comparison. It blew me away, mainly for current indicators in my life. Detachment and love. Two sides of one coin. Btw. I prefer dogs..☺There is some right quote about them and I think the same time it also applies to relationships and types of people (people are doggy or catty): "Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. Dogs will give you unconditional love until the day they die. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you've ever made since the day you were born." so tell me now, who is more detached and in love the same time? Cat or Dog? just something to think about.. Btw...Nice post Aaron!
Hey! have you joined the High Vibe Tribe yet? its my new free community! I go live and do free workshops and meditations in there, join here! aarondoughty.com/highvibetribe
My cat runs away from me. I guess I’m giving off retriever energy.
@@misscritique8863❤❤❤❤q❤❤❤❤qq
Authorisation from Helens Mum on Elfhame Brandon Zdenek Hostalek Archangel Zadkiel.
almost 2 million subscribers! you have my stamp of approval 🎉🎉 ..you're just a man
The more you focus on yourself, and take care of yourself- the more life takes care of you ❤❤❤
This is sooo true! Im letting go of it all. Letting it be up to the universe😃
That’s not true whatsoever.
So if I go to a bar with this mindset and then try to approach the most gorgeous women then it would happen?
Now I’m left regretting not having approached as she left, and wondering about the girl I saw driving next to me down the road in Lodi earlier, and the girls that ran away from me, all the negative shit back to back, your God and universe doesn’t bless anyone, however long you can keep lying to yourself that you get things by not going for it by all means fool yourself some more, this Universe is SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD, but apparently fucking NOT.
@@GabrielXDrumsIf you’re focusing on and taking care of yourself in your everyday life, you won’t be seeking validation from women at bars or anywhere else. You’ll be content and at ease with yourself which will lead to women coming to you.
@@Nikopup yeah isn’t that funny how it works… bars are tiring, was actually gonna go to one tonight but instead I stayed home and made some comparison videos for my cymbals lol
It’s always when I’m not looking that things have happened for me anyways.. that’s not arguable…
True
My cat has taught me EVERYTHING about detachment ! His freedom is so wonderful to watch and life together is so simple... 💕
Same here …I watch the cat & golden retriever …they love each other , they get each other . Cat walks off when the dog gets over zealous
Cats are punks!
Cats will do it. Animals are amazing
They actually say to treat people like cats. That’s how you do learn nonattachment!!
Such a great example. Unexpected but good point, I’ll steal it now.
Be open to everything and attached to nothing- Wayne Dyer
Cool I need it as my life-slogan
the first mentor i have in my life
Yes I liked that one I wrote down and I tell people that.
@@YanaWanderlust. go find a book hack your mind on borlest, enjoy life after bro...
@@theresabarnes4940 I encourage you to read Wayne Dyer’s material and his free to watch lectures on you tube. Life changing stuff. He was an amazing man. Good luck on your journey to self love and happiness
There was an Olympic athlete who said, I dont worry about the outcome. I focus on the process, the training and I trust it. 🥇
Love this ❤
Over time at 40 I realized no one can complete me, and we can only complete ourself. And it's liberating. People can come and add joy but none can complete you. Detachment is a gift to love self and others without expectations.
When I am having the loneliest day and holding on to something that I can’t have, you bring me peace with these messages. Thank you
Slowly but surely you’ll unlock everything you need to feel & it’s all within your divine being that’s the beauty about it. You’re never really lonely if you choose to explore how fascinating you are. Don’t forget to smile today!😊
Ikr
@@nidalahmed28 thank you 🙏
Friend i send you so much love and company with this message. I hope you can feel it.
@@vivianamieres thank you
I've been reading a lot of Buddhist based books lately and this resonates with the Buddhist way of life very much. Non attachment is key. Compassion is another. I think it's hard for some to wrap their heads around. How can you be compassionate but at the same time, remain unattached? The answer relies on removing expectations. To act without expectations. You live a compassionate, non attached way of life by acting without any expectations of something in return. Always try your best, regardless of what the outcome might be. Whether it's at your job, a hobby, or a relationship with your significant other. Act with compassion. Expect nothing in return. Stay mindful. And you will be living peacefully.
This makes a lot of sense, how do you get to this point? How do you remain happy and at peace?
Please can you recommend me 2 or 3 books?
@@hortymyty6089 Read Michael Singer's books. He has it all put up nicely together.
@@hortymyty6089 read The Four Agreements
@@hortymyty6089 Just look up Buddhist books and read the descriptions and the right one will pop out to you. 💖💖
When the student is ready the teacher will appear and here you are WOW Thank You Aaron
Take care of yourself and the rest will follow
I was doing drugs (an expensive one) every day, drinking every day, living with my girlfriend. I left our home, moved cities 2 months ago today.
I'm 60 days off drugs, drank once or twice a week mostly since then and have now committed (3 days) to cutting that out entirely, I haven't missed a day of work (where I'd missed about 20 in Jan/Feb from having cheap rent and an enabling partner) - and I just signed a lease for my own one bedroom apartment for July. It was a miracle to find and get the place, and I attribute it very much to having been putting the work in. Nothing comes free. We have to decide what costs we allow ourselves to pay, and when to remove unnecessary costs entirely.
I’m very proud of you 🙏🏻 I’ve been in a very similar journey and I know God loves us and has always had mercy for us. I’m also walking the sober path and it has been a blessing to me and others around me. Keep going and don’t give up
I’m just starting this journey and it has been hard….for about seven years. The best thing I find that if it’s not in the house I don’t miss it and don’t need it but when it’s there it haunts me.
I think this is the year to make big shifts and take care of our health because it’s the most important thing we have.
😇🙏🏼💖moving up in vibration and letting go and of attachments and negative connections has helped big time - and for the first time in a very long time, I feel happy again and can feel my heart. No more escaping / it’s time to feel and heal
You’re doing good keep going. Good luck
💪🏽
It is soooooo true!! 💥Attaching to people will cause repelling them away from you! It has been my experience. And now, when I have got enough love inside myself, I don't need to prove my value by being accepted by others. ✨✨ Of course I still expect my loved ones to love me and treasure me. But if one day they don't treasure me, I will also know how to let go of the unease and the relationship. Because attaching to someone who is not meant to be in my life isn't attractive😂Thank you for making this video🙏🏻 Blessings to you all💖
I use to give EVERYONE 100% attention and wanted to attach to everyone. Now I’ve learned about the power of ignoring which helps me to detach from people. It’s amazing as I am noticing how others are starting to show me respect and are more attractive to me. I’ve broken my past habit of giving EVERYONE FREE ATTENTION. This has greatly helped my attachment issues.
Same
You mean more attracted, not attractive
Gravitate would be a better word anyways
Validate and approve yourself. It starts and ends with us. Once you step away through wanting attention or validation your whole mindset shifts and your life changes. I’m a work in progress. I no longer need or desire external validation or approval I can validate myself. Build a relationship with yourself first and foremost - it’s the most important relationship you’ll ever have. I hit rock bottom and I’ve had to rebuild my whole self from the bottom up. If I can do it anyone can.
I always feel bad when I hear about non attachment, because my heart literally picks people. Then I feel attached.
Exactly. You can’t help who you are drawn to. That’s what trips me up the most.
You can be drawn to people. Just need boundries to balance❤
For me, what I’ve come to develop is this sense of reparenting my self. My healing came from detaching from who I am. Becoming the observer of my life and has shifted to becoming this relationship between two parts of my self. The inner child that wasn’t allow to be see and the parental figure that I need as a child. I shift between the two personalities where I picture my self as the parent and then as the child. This relationship allow me to be free. I’ve found that meditation allows me to appreciate and notice the different voices in my head and put them in to perspective. In addition to not allowing my self to be totally absorbed by the thoughts since now im able to observe and detach from them. Finally taking back leadership of my life. Thank you Aaron for your perspective and send so much love and support to all those here!
Thank you for this.
how to detach from the outcome when you are desperate for a job and have nothing to survive on... now that's a mighty workout for your detachment muscle
Not to stroke your ego but you keep getting more funny. I love this humility and confidence, and your ability to laugh about your humanness. Gives a permission slip to the rest of us to be human and own it. Thx for what you do. It’s helped me a lot ❤
The truth is that we all need to be attached as babies and internalise that constant inflow so our hearts are full. It has to happen at that early stage for healthy emotional security. Then there's healthy individuation where we detach. Sadly when we are deprived of attachment stage it's v difficult to detach as it presumes we were attached in the first place. So to ask someone to detach from whatever crumb of "love" they were holding onto can evoke huge abandonment and destabilizing. It is v v painful. Lots of love, compassion, support and God's wisdom and timing to each precious soul on this path. We were created to be loved and to love in that order. ❣
Dude, I appreciate that you lay it down with humor. A little joke and self-parody in the right amount is really humanizing and enjoyable, because we laugh at what we don't want to be! Your loving, light-hearted humor is effective and uplifting, even joyous! So thanks brother!
Deep insights such as these are amazing in a man so young. I'm hitting 70 soon, and am just now catching on to these things. Who knew? After this long life, the Internet is aiding me in becoming self aware. Huge!
Never allow others to project onto you. Their problems and baggage are not your problems or baggage.
Problem are pathological liars and manipulators who are very skillful into projecting the blame - usually by using our mistakes and flaws and errors against ourselves, our moral and ethical standards being used against ourselves.
I'm 68 years old now and have been going through a lot in the last 10 years. I've ALWAYS loved Aaron's videos, but this is another that is on the top of the list to help me better understand my entire life - especially at this point of my life. Thank you Aaron! You're an incredible man and a good man to the core. Just wish we were neighbors.... Not for the endless lectures, but just to share the presence and energy. Calms me now just to think of it.
calms me too 😀
I resonate a lot with this. I achieved everything I wanted thinking it would bring me happiness. Im talking about money, higher education, moving to another country, relationship, and vacations here and there. Once Im on top Im the most miserable person I’ve ever been my whole life!! It was the time when I got very suicidal, depressed and diagnosed with GAD. I tried to end my self 3 times. That’s when I realised something’s wrong with me and I couldn’t live like this anymore. Read lots of books about psychology, neuroscience, and quantum physics help me a lot. All I do everyday is just reading and watching youtube like this for the sake of my mental health. Thank God I am in a better state of mind now. ❤
How are you doing today ?
People have only gave me pain. I stopped being around people and find myself full of life.
Its like walking in the complete wrong direction...seeking love and approval, validation, acceptance et. from outside= the most grucial joke in the cosmic play = quiet sad. Happy awakening...❤
the less attached you are the more magnetic you are 💥
As an only-child that's always been introverted (technically ambivert) and with a strong sense of freedom, detachment is definitely the key. You can care deeply but choose who you give that too and sometimes do it at a distance only.
You're right. It all goes back to childhood. If your parents neglected your needs you tend to seek it from other people when you grow up.
Love to drink my morning coffee and listening to Aaron. Greetings from Sweden 🇸🇪
but the thing is,
avoidants may have once been clingy
like those with anxious attachment,
maybe even MORE needy,
and had to learn to shut off emotional needs
to survive hyper-independently
because we learned the hard way
we were both too much and not enough...
that in the real world no one actually cares,
so we'd better learn to fight alone
and put the pedal to the metal...
I have so much empathy for avoidants ... Not that they want it 😂
Great summation. Brings
Wasn't aware of anxious/avoidant. Just dated someone who thought they were an anxious & portrayed themselves as such, but rly they've already transformed into an avoidant. Turns out I'm the opposite of who we both thought they needed. In a past life we were perfect for each other. Life is cruel. 💔⛈️
I love this guy. His ability to articulate is so validating and healing!!!!
Growing up I was let down and abandoned by my parents in various ways, wasn’t until I started watching your videos that I learned to detach and really see the bigger picture as to why I act and feel how I do. Thank you for your videos, this one definitely hit home, consciousness and acceptance heals
Sometimes the ending is only the beginning to something bigger and better
I am about a year into my spiritual awakening and wow….this video is a huge turning point for me. Major resonance. Thank you!! 👏🏼
Exactly! I love this. We must be aware of our egos never ending search and find that unchanging value that’s always here inside of us. Why is it like this though? That things come when you don’t care if they do or not?
Maybe it has to do with control vs allowing room for things to just easily fall into place. I wish I understood the process better bc I am going to need a good job to fall into place before rent is due!
“attachment to shame” wow!! that changed my perspective. I have always adopted the idea that there was something wrong with me, I didn’t realize that is an attachment I can break! Thank you so much, I love your videos 🫶🏼
I was watching a video earlier and it was of a really rich person showing off their house, you could tell just by looking at him he was not happy with himself, sad, lonely, negative. Then I was watching vids of people living very simple lives and they were the most fillfulled, positivity flowing out of them. Theres nothing wrong with setting goals and trying to make money but when you dont share your blessings they become a curse. Great video Aaron 100% agree with this.
I want to thank you sir. This video helped me to start my healing journey and you have helped me to learn and understand what I have been avoiding and not able to know how to heal. I will come to this video for reminder
@17:34 Your willingness to be vulnerable is admirable. Thank you for your honesty.
Much Love, Y'all 🙏🏻💕
Letting go of outcome and enjoying my own presence was so liberating
Thank you for this video. I loved and agreed with all of it except the last truth: there is only you who can make yourself happy. There are people in my life that truly make me happy and other who make me unhappy and I stay far from them. I stay close to people who respect and love me for who I am, they make me happy to be me.
Validation and attention seeking and craving for love are ugly cousins of love.Actually craving is draining.Praising is not filling 😂 and it was lesding to live addiction.
Many points are like nailing on forehead.
Excellent ...
This has been the hidden spot within, which you addressed beautifully and gave the solution too.
Attactment is also slavery and never ending thirst which cannot be quenched and it suffocates others.very much insightful.
We couldn't be more magnetic that we already are, in every moment we get back exactly what we are admitting, and this is absolutely the most freaking awesomest thing! Whenever I'm experiencing whatever/who acts in whatever way, I just say to myself: I choose to focus "on this side of the matter" which really means there are only two sides, in alignment or outside of it, and in alignment is looking from my true being; that it's A GOOD THING that I got to be aware of my energetic output YAY❣️ Overall; less thinking, more listening=just being=FEEEEELING IT IN THIS MOMENT when there really is no future anyway, only the sweet now that can become anything❣️🥳🥳
Thanks Aaron for these videos, as they remind us of the foundational truths that set us free from unhealthy ways of living & doing relationships.
love this ❤ I realized that to detach you actually just have to follow your heart because you’re just doing what makes you happy bc you’re doing it not because u get anything from it
I just get a burst of excitement and see the beauty in exploring the world or creating. Ppl meet me with the happiness flowing through. It never has anything to do with others.
Absolutely! you makes a profound point about the power of being unattached. Letting go of expectations and finding wholeness within ourselves not only attracts love but also fosters genuine connections. 💫
so true aaron. you've done many videos on this but this is very clear. one thing, as ive let go of my career desires, they start to come.... but because i care less, the success doesnt feel as good (but still feels right)...
nonchalant as you say..
i needed this so badly, this opened my eyes to how i really do blame everything that’s happened to me as to why i do what i do. i gave my power away and blamed everyone and everything for my own actions. THANK YOU I LOVE YOU this is such a special insightful video im so thankful i came across this and your channel
Marvelous to see the transformation you have made in the last 5-6 years
The vibes are tremendous
The frequencies are lucid
Peace brotha
So helpful🙏🏼❤️🙌🏼 i"ve always been shy, pleapleasing and VERY attachted to people, things and places. Now the latest 2 years i've started to love myself, getting unattachted and exploring what I like/love to do. So liberating🙌🏼❤️ doing it for me and my kids❤
Appreciate this. I have had a tendency to be super clingy, but I believe it can be unlearned. Teachings like this are helpful.
Aaron, you just get better and better. This video is so clear and helps me to understand. I really appreciate that you share your lessons for free! The content is very valueable.
Attachment also breeds neediness. And when you need something it means you don't have it, and you keep pushing it away. When you keep needing something the universe keeps giving you more of that - You keep being in a state of need, as that is what you focus on constantly.
“ When you keep needing something the universe keeps giving more of that !” …. How can that be ?
@@terencehennegan1439 It means that when you need something, the universe keeps giving you more. In other words, if you keep needing it, the universe keeps giving you more needing!
You have to be in a state that you don't care. Everything you give your feelings to, you keep resisting.
If you are alright, whether you have or not, then you will receive it.
Let go. Detach from it. If you think of it all day long, that is what you get. more of thinking of that all day long.
In the Bible, it says: "Thou shall have it, to receive it"
In other words. Just be in the knowing, and it all shows up. 🤗
This is real talk here. I was feeling for a while like people in general didn't like me. No one would make eye contact with me, despite me looking to, or even smile back if I smiled passing them by.
One day I just said 'F*ck it, I'm done trying to make contact with people. The. Next. Day. People started smiling at me, saying hello. Strangers, or people I see often but don't know. Blew my mind.
As many times as I’ve seen your detachment videos. I love seeing each video everytime as it really does remind me! Thank you
Everything we need to complete us, is within us. It can't be found anywhere else. Thank you for all that you do. You have come a mighty long way and have taught a lot❤
Aaron, you had a big impact on me back in 2021 & 2022. I’m noticing your videos seem a bit darker recently? It’s hard to explain it but it feels like the light is a little dimmed. I’m speaking metaphorically. Just noticing 🙏🏼 I am still forever grateful for your work
This was right on time. I'm a recovering perfectionist and its a constant growing edge. Its interesting bc when I put things out and they aren't perfect but they're deeply authentic - that's the real shit right there.
Aaron thanks SO much for your perspective on this topic. Your perspective has been BEYOND helpful. It started last year with your frame technique meditation. Dancing with my devil & I have nearly danced off the cliff…
As usual you post right when I need it.
You’re absolutely right. It’s best to let go and not be attached to the wrong person or people. The popular guy analogy is very funny. Thank god I’ve always been attracted to brains over looks. 😅
I’ve gotten to a point in my journey where I have been able to break away and not seek anyone while I’m still not 💯.
Being an introvert is beneficial.
When I had a baby the first time I had to be away from them was harder on me then them. It took me over a year to leave them on an overnight trip and even then I couldn’t wait to get back to them. Kids are different though.
Namaste 🙏
Thank you for the video. The experiment with the baby and the still face mother triggered something in me, from the unconscious and made me cry for half an hour. I am sure I must have gone through some rejection of this kind as a baby. But it is so heartbreaking, for any parent to do that to their own child. So severely traumatizing!
I just wanted to thank you. Your podcasts and RUclips videos have gotten me through a really tough time right now. I have a better understanding of myself, why I attract the same type of men because of my childhood wound. I feel stronger, that I can lean into tension.
Aaron we need more men like you! So much wisdom for a young guy!
Love is who I am. Now, at 40s I feel, I understand, I love this... ❤️ ❤ ❤ thank you for all this content.
My chow returned to me as a shih tzu puppy and lived nearly 18 years sharing her blessings.
Thanks for sharing this is my favorite so far. We did what we did to survive without a nurturing mother. It sucks we are even on this level of love for all and want to soread what we did not have. Real man this is legit 💯 spot on.tysm for truth teaching 👏
Thank You Aaron ... I have experienced such pain from my Childhood Attachment wounds ... swinging between Anxious and Ambivalent ... craving connection then pushing it away in an attempt to escape a cycle of pain from Childhood ... You are helping me to understand, conceptualise and slowly break free from Attachment ... I realise now that I can break free and experience Love ... by learning to Love myself ... and discarding the Guilt and Shame that I am not good enough ...
Once I lose my center and focus I just come here to listen to your videos and get back on a track ❤️ Thank you so much for putting so much work and effort into making these videos! ❤️They do keep reminding me about self-care and non-attachment ❤️
This shame thing is so powerful.
May we all heal it 🙏🏽
Hi Aaron, I have to say I felt called to watch one of your videos this week. I have now watched 4 of the videos you have posted in the last 2 weeks and they have been so syncornositic and on topic with my life and what I needed to hear. Thank you for all that you do sharing these insights and this wisdom.
This video hit home so hard that I had to rewind the video like 10 times cause I would get lost in my thoughts of my own personal past of wanting validation and attention
Geez Aaron! I’ve not seen you in years. I watched you from the very beginning. 1.69M?!!!? I’m really happy for you!!! I’ll follow closer now. You look like you’ve grown up and have found your own voice! ❤❤❤❤ Congradulations🎉🎉🎉
I’m not gonna lie this is your best video. Wow thank you so much for doing all this work and sharing it ❤ sending you tons of love
Amazing place! Listening to you and taking a walk would be perfect now. Our energy is a gift, we must take care of it... so giving more of ourselves to other people drain us too. I am the Fontain of my own joy, and if I share with the world would be from my passions, multiplying this energy not giving, giving, giving... (for control of ego)
I'm so grateful RUclips's algorithm is working. Your channel is what I've been missing. New subscriber 🤎
Detaching now from all false help and people that are masked. Reminded today of myself aka my intuition! My intuition is a guide to my unique path ✨🙌🏼🥰
I am very sensitive to energy shifts, much like you say with regards to the baby knowing within seconds of the emotional withdrawal of the mother. This is something I became hyper-vigilant towards as a child growing up. I realised in my last major relationship (which was very toxic) that I was essentially "stuck" in an infantile stage within my nervous system. I had a child with my ex, and she was always pulling away emotionally (and denying it was happening). There was one day she got really angry and left the house in a huff, but it was in this moment that I realised the child and I were exhibiting similar distressed behaviours. It was then that I understood my nervous system was stuck in this position of fear, and instead of repeating the same behaviours, I took up the mantle (because the child could not) to help co-regulate and soothe him. It was a revelation to me (among many other things that I experienced in that relationship timeframe). You're on the money with what you are saying.
Thank you for sharing! You've done a lot of work around attachment Aaron. You said we cannot have attachment and be happy. But isn't attachment a natural part of the human psychie. We just need not overdo it. Balance between self and other.
This is EXACTLY what I needed to hear right now, because I am contracting 😊 We are soo much alike 💚
What you teach is very humbling. I absolutely can see that Ive been the golden retriever in the past. And then I got cats and learning how to be a cat.
Placed the focus on you, focus only on you, life will takes care of you ❤️🙏🏿
Only 7 minutes in but laughing so hard as it is so relatable. I literally coach people in seeking internal validation over external validation, but still feel like I myself need that external validation to feel worthy as my parents did not validate me
Damn, I found this video on my home page. I felt very drawn to it, it couldn't have come at a better timing. I am grateful that I got to see this video, thank you❤
I never realized how funny Aaron is , until I started healing trying to be stoic (aka living in his head) like my dad. Thanks Aaron, both for the humor and to help me be able to experience humor in general.
Aaron , your delivery is just soooo good . Thank you 😊
It's been so great to see you grow . . . detachment being the key ❤
He's so nice for sharing his knowledge with us. Thank you for posting Aaron we really appreciate you!
I feel like we've landed on the same wavelength. I'll meditatiate, and then have some random insight: detachment, like setting your intention, and then detaching from the outcome. I tried this and bam it woks, and then I see your video, and it's like another confirmation. (this has happened nearly every day since my second awakening) subbed and joined the tribe, brother.
You are great Aaron!! God bless you always!
People can be attached to things for the wrong reasons. People can be attached to things for good reasons. People can be detached from things for good reasons. People can be detached from things for bad reasons. Our future prospects rely on our reason for what we are responsible to. I would say these are attachments, and those things can be good or bad. What we are attached to will be magnetic to the people who correspond to those attachments. Which can be good or bad depending on the situation. It is reason; not whether we are attached that dictates the nature of our relationships to ideas, people and things.
I’m a toddler mom and I just recently discovered I’ve been struggling with undiagnosed adhd/bpd. I remember seeing the still face experiment a while back and seeing how impactful it is for littles. It’s extremely challenging navigating my own mental health struggles from my own abandonment trauma and trying to be emotionally available for my 3 year old. It’s like trying to operate programming I don’t have while emotionally hemorrhaging. It’s very hard to not shame spiral because I constantly feel like a bad mom. These are the years she’s supposed to be learning her own nervous system regulation so I’ve been going back to square one with my own nervous system regulation. It’s hard because sometimes I have to choose separation in the moment if that means we both get to regulate on our own and return in harmony. It is the most intense emotional training I’ve ever been through.
Thank you so much for sharing this Aaron and the experience you had with the human holding you, as your mum. It was beautiful.
Lmaoo so cute - “where is my line of ppl at the gym” this is so funny love your energy ☺️☺️☺️
What a beautiful message Aaron, another message that was sent by God 🙏🏻
Thanks Aaron, these messages are truly priceless information. I appreciate your content it’s helped me tremendously.
Your videos make me cry..in a good, healing way..
Love what you are sharing thank you Aaron! I agree with all you are sharing!!
Thank you Aaron, great reminder. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU ❤❤❤❤
Gold retriever and a cat....I love this comparison. It blew me away, mainly for current indicators in my life.
Detachment and love. Two sides of one coin. Btw. I prefer dogs..☺There is some right quote about them and I think the same time it also applies to relationships and types of people (people are doggy or catty):
"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. Dogs will give you unconditional love until the day they die. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you've ever made since the day you were born."
so tell me now, who is more detached and in love the same time? Cat or Dog? just something to think about..
Btw...Nice post Aaron!