Excellent! I'm a betrayed in the middle of a five day tirade of all of these from my unfaithful partner. Are there any options besides going no contact that a betrayed can do to stop this and the continual abuse/trauma being inflicted. Mine is very effective at the timeout that never ends. More damage.
This episode resonates with me. We are 8.5 months past D-Day, when I learned of my husband's 30+ year PMO/secret life. In these months we have come to realize that his problems actually began in childhood with parents--particularly his mother--who were completely enmeshed with him. I believe his mother (probably inadvertently) sexualized him while he was a young boy growing up. He was shamed and humiliated many, many times by parents that seem to be so incredibly self centered. The damage this caused was life altering. He discovered masturbation (naturally) but then realized he could help manage his distress--with that and a rich fantasy life. He ran across porn (magazines) as a kid and I believe the die was cast. He learned that sexual fantasy and porn & masturbation could keep the uncomfortable feelings--his own and those of others--at bay. Fast forward--we marry--still battling his parents interference in our lives (and his inability to break away) and soon he develops a serious PMO addiction that took over his life. It has nearly destroyed our marriage. I found him a therapist, thankfully. But, where we live there are no Betrayal Trauma skilled therapists for me. I'm shattered and struggling; anger (bottomless), feelings of inadequacy, low self esteem & self image, and yes, hatred for his family.
Thank you for your insightful and vulnerable comment. If you are willing to use Zoom, we can help. Separately, Sam and I (with my wife Sharon - also a Betrayed) do online work. We work with Betrayeds (and Unfaithfuls and Couples) all the time via Zoom. We are APSATS Betrayal Partner Trauma certified and have been doing this work from a relational perspective for years. If you feel that we might not be the right fit for you, please email us at AskTheUnfaithful@Gmail.com and we can give you some recommendations. You deserve the help to be able to heal. James
Excellent! I'm a betrayed in the middle of a five day tirade of all of these from my unfaithful partner. Are there any options besides going no contact that a betrayed can do to stop this and the continual abuse/trauma being inflicted. Mine is very effective at the timeout that never ends. More damage.
This episode resonates with me. We are 8.5 months past D-Day, when I learned of my husband's 30+ year PMO/secret life. In these months we have come to realize that his problems actually began in childhood with parents--particularly his mother--who were completely enmeshed with him. I believe his mother (probably inadvertently) sexualized him while he was a young boy growing up. He was shamed and humiliated many, many times by parents that seem to be so incredibly self centered.
The damage this caused was life altering. He discovered masturbation (naturally) but then realized he could help manage his distress--with that and a rich fantasy life. He ran across porn (magazines) as a kid and I believe the die was cast. He learned that sexual fantasy and porn & masturbation could keep the uncomfortable feelings--his own and those of others--at bay.
Fast forward--we marry--still battling his parents interference in our lives (and his inability to break away) and soon he develops a serious PMO addiction that took over his life. It has nearly destroyed our marriage. I found him a therapist, thankfully. But, where we live there are no Betrayal Trauma skilled therapists for me. I'm shattered and struggling; anger (bottomless), feelings of inadequacy, low self esteem & self image, and yes, hatred for his family.
Your ability to express yourself is amazing to me. Im sending you much healing energy.
Praying for you. Reach out to Sam to help you find the resource for therapy.
Thank you for your insightful and vulnerable comment. If you are willing to use Zoom, we can help. Separately, Sam and I (with my wife Sharon - also a Betrayed) do online work. We work with Betrayeds (and Unfaithfuls and Couples) all the time via Zoom. We are APSATS Betrayal Partner Trauma certified and have been doing this work from a relational perspective for years. If you feel that we might not be the right fit for you, please email us at AskTheUnfaithful@Gmail.com and we can give you some recommendations. You deserve the help to be able to heal.
James
This is great! Thanks brother Sam!
My pleasure. Thanks for commenting.
Another fantastic episode. Great work! So therapeutic for people who are willing to listen.
Over a year since D day and I am still waiting for accountability from my unfaithful. It's so heart breaking 💔
That hat was epic... Thanks for the laugh❤😅
😂 on the hair