Wow the balls on the kid from story 1. Giving ultimatums and compromises like he’s runs the house. He may not be from a rich family but he acts like a spoiled rich kid
He acts like he has Cluster Personality Disorder. You can't parent or punish that out of someone - trying to do so usually makes it WORSE. You can, however, get them admitted for the erratic behaviour and being a danger to themselves and others.
In my country he will get the beating of a lifetime and if he complain then I would show the video to the police and press charges and if the mom says something she will be homeless in a heartbeat.
He should have been in therapy for years before this. Especially after needing to be hospitalized for not eating. Someone was ignoring the warning signs!
A child should never talk about their parents intimate life in the way that OP's son did. That was some beginner incel crap if I've ever heard it. It's unbelievably creepy and I feel for every woman who ends up with a son like that.
I fear for anyone that come across this boy in their life especially future coworkers. I can him going off on a coworker because they got the promotion over them and don't let it be a woman.
Story #1: If I was the stepson's parent, I would've done everything in my power to make sure that little twerp would've spent his remaining teenage years in a juvenile detention center. His reaction after being confronted lets me know that this kid isn't going to feel remorse just by grounding him and going to family therapy sessions.
“I’m not attracted to my fiancé’s friend,” goes on to explain in excruciating detail how attracted he is to his fiancés friend and how he ignores his partner to drool over another woman.
also he didn't just make first impression compliment, he kept complimenting her thru the night and didn't even notice fiance sitting alone and that she was crying some point. i truly hope fiance walks away. no one needs that type of disrespect from partner. also "not being match" doesn't mean attraction and wanting relationship is there. surely OPd jump on his friend the moment she'd express interest.
The accessible vehicle story really reduces my faith in humanity. OP has helped them out for 18 months and her asking for courtesy for her mom is met with accusations of selfishness and ostracisation? Why would someone help anyone if this is the gratitude they show?
There has to be more to the story. The parents likely stretched the truth or fabricated a horrendous story. I can’t imagine people being angry with the OP.
@@GMAMEC Yeah, I'd bet that the neighbors told everyone that OP said they could use the van, then took it back at the very last minute which ruined their vacation. What BS.
“So before anyone says I may be attracted to Sara over my fiancée, remember this…” then OP proceeds to list a bunch of stuff like how incompatible he is with Sara none of which cancels out that he is absolutely, 100%, physically attracted to her. And I have a feeling that if Sara gave him an opening he would jump in her bed faster that lightning.
Story 1: NTA. Hun, I have half a mind to just call the cops on your kid. He’s a spoiled brat! The mear fact that he gave you “Ultimatums” has so much nerve!
Story 1: So, stepbrother having a car after living two years longer than him and somehow it´s unfair that he´s not getting the same thing? Does OP´s son also throwing a tantrum when stepbro can buy alcohol and he can´t?
2nd Story: Anyone else notice OP didn't mention that he was physically or sexually attracted to his financee Jane? Jane needs to leave the relationship for someone who is attracted to her in all ways.
I think he likes Sara but she shot him down so he's settling for Jane and thinking she'll stick around because "since she's not conventionally attractive, she'll just take what she can get."
Story 4: Like other posters have said, don't loan them your van anymore, and point out to them that if they can afford a road trip to Disney Land, then they can afford their own wheelchair van. Also, set the record straight with the other community members. If there is a community website, post what's really going on between you and your neighbors there. Your neighbors's sense of entitlement is way out of line.
If no community website, I would print up copies of a statement and leave one at every house. And deny them use of the van. I hate it when "friends" assume. I was recently contacted by someone I know to take care of her cat while she was out of town. I normally would, but she cobtacted me at the last moment when she had known about the trip for weeks. I told her to find an alternative. My life is getting too complicated, including dealing with my mother long distance. She found someone down the street from her.
So there was an update to this story, the whole thing was a misunderstanding. A few days before their convo about the Disney trip the neighbor received news the kid wouldn't last but a few more months. So neighbor mom was in a highly emotional state when speaking to op then vented to her best friend (also in the neighborhood) who then told everyone op was heartless. See, best friend thought op knew about the medical diagnosis but we know that's untrue. Everything came to a head a few days after op posted because neighbor mom found the reddit post. Neighbor mom apologized, best friend apologized and set the record straight. Random neighbors texted op to apologize for their behavior. Op then decides to raise money in the neighborhood to pay for flight and accomodations for the Disney trip. The family was able to make it happen and the daughter has passed away as of the last update.
It's disheartening how parents think they're entitled to other people's stuff because they have disabled children. That is still Op's van at the end of the day and she clearly needed it so she could transport mother. How is that selfish compared to going to Disneyworld? I also get the impression that the neighbors lied about Op so they could look like the victims. Op shouldn't cave. In fact, she should stop them for using the van period. They took her kindness for granted and are trying to punish her for using her property. And the money they used for Disneyworld could be saved and invested in their own van. NTA.
There are programs to assist families with disabled children to get specialized vans... I was wondering why they haven’t even done so yet. It still costs money, but there is help. However, there really aren’t programs to help fund specialized vans for adult children caregivers of their elderly parents. As a parent of a child with special needs ( but not that would need a van) I would’ve been floored by this kindness and offer of help. I can’t even imagine turning on someone so kind and helpful.
Usually if you are hoping to use a friend/neighbour's property, you check with them. Before booking a holiday, you definitely check with them to ensure they are not going to need it during that period. They took things for granted and have now been caught out. Rather than being grateful for their previous access, they turn into bullies and have probably lied to the neighbourhood. Ensure the neighbours know the truth and then stop letting them use the van as a result of their lies and bullying.
Yeah I'd go door to door and ask if they know anyone with a minivan that can pick up my disabled mother from a 12 hour flight so the neighbor can borrow my car for their vacation. I suspect the family trashed op to them and so it be right to put it back on them.
I really hope Jane dumps him. OP was so disrespectful and I can't imagine spending a life with someone while competing with another woman at every corner. There would be constant insecurity even if Sara isn't around and especially on a bad day. This is an unstable grounds for a marriage and if Sara dressed "down" or even gives OP a hint she will grace him with a date or more he will be gone despite how "incompatible" he thinks she is. I highly doubt OP would appreciate it if Jane was fawning over another man at a party - then again maybe he wouldn't care especially if Sara is there. Also I think Sara enjoys this since she isn't complaining to friends or OP (and wearing an attention seeking outfit to overshadow) is because likely on some level she enjoys him salivating and disrespecting Jane.
She probably keeps him around because she likes the ego boost. But I doubt she's interested. That's probably why he made up so many excuses as to why they aren't together. I bet the other friend was right about Sarah being an attention seeker. Why else would she try to outshine someone on their engagement party.? Also can't believe OP ditched Jane the whole party to complement Sarah and didn't even know she was crying. I hope she dumps him too.
Yeah. It's one thing to think someone is physically attractive but to go on and on about them while your partner is there is just a huge 🚩. Also, we don't know anything about how Sarah feels about it but judging how, she apparently wore an inappropriate dress at someone's engagement, must say something but honestly, we don't know. Doesn't give OP the right to act like that though.
Story 2: All I hear is "I'm attracted to my friend but she doesn't want me so I found someone else, my girlfriend noticed I liked them and now she's getting jealous and insecure about it. Is it my fault?" yes. Yes it is your fault.
Even worse since I guarantee everyone around them is also painfully aware how often he is probably just staring at Sara. And Sara just sounds like an attention-seeker, seeing how she tries to outshine the bride! Only jerks do that. Not friends. Also telling how he gushed a bunch ov differing compliments about Sara and barely mentions how good-looking his actual wife is. Creepy jackass.
First OP needs to kick her entitled adult son out. Usually when a young adult behaves like this they have been treated like a prince who can do no wrong and has every right to mistreat others. I do wonder if OP was fine with this until he started causing problems with the new family.
You can't kick minors out of the house. It's literally illegal. The son is a minor, the step brother is the adult. And no, USUALLY when people behave like this, it's a Cluster Personality Disorder and they're terrorising the whole family. This is above the 'you just spoiled him' paygrade you hold. He needs to be admitted to a psychiatric ward, and starving himself alone is grounds.
@@Grouchbox I think the stepson is 19 and the son is 17, so still a minor. But probably he was raised treated as a prince and that’s why he feels entitled to everything.
You should rewatch the story. The entitled SON is age 17. The older step-son (who received the car from his own mother) is age 19. OP can’t throw out her 17 year old son but she needs to get him therapy and a formal psychiatric evaluation asap (and should have done so years ago)
Story 2: OP's explanation of how compatible him and Jane are vs him and Sarah, is not as good of a defense as he thinks. It sounds more like he tried with Sarah, saw they wouldn't work long term and settled for Jane.
Sara is the choice of his heart, Jane the choice of his head. And in the end the heart wins. I hope Jane wisens up and finds herself a nice man to whom she is the most beautiful woman in the room, regardless of what she wears.
I think a huge part of the problem is that Sara WANTS the attention and knows how to get it. Op,and his fiance need to spend like a week away from everyone, especially Sara, with absolutely no contact between him and her and absolutely no speaking of her even once during that time. How both he and Sara react to this time away will be far more telling than anything and will tell him and Jane where to go from there. Also, after that week, go minimal contact with Sara for a while. If at an event at the same time, give her a hello, a small, polite compliment and only speak to her when the occasion calls for it. I wouldn't be surprised if he was kind of conditioned by Sara during the 22 year friendship to basically put her first and make sure that she'll always be the most beautiful woman in the world to him. He needs help and to stay away from Sara for a while to work on his relationship with his fiance.
@@jedimasters1462 I agree, Sara seems like maybe she might be narcissistic and self centered. OP might have been conditioned to fawn over her without realizing it or the consequences of his actions. Maybe their friend group needs to all back off inviting Sara for milestone events so she Doesn't overshadow the main attraction. If Sara asks why, they need to be honest with her, and tell her she is not the main star at a red carpet event. That they want all eyes/attention on the star(s) of the gathering, not her. Maybe she'll tone it down. As for OP and his GF.... couples therapy, so he learns to understand what he is doing and how it affects his GF, and maybe gets reconditioned to not fawn over Sara.
If my child acted that entitled and then threatened self harm (self starvation) to get out of a consequence, I would send them to military school, if I didn't already press charges for felonious behaviour.
2nd OP....Dude, you are at an event, with your partner and she's sitting alone, and crying in hallways while you are complimenting Sara, repeatedly? Like did he even compliment how Jane looked once? Please do this poor woman a favour and leave her so you can be a full time fluffer for stylish beautiful Sara.
Re Wheelchair Van: So NTI. More like big-hearted hero. The whole neighborhood, esp the moocher family with the daughter, IS the IDIOT, and a few other descriptors. That van is YOURS, not theirs. Agree that if they could spend the money on the road trip, they could've spent it on getting their own equipped van. I bet there's car insurance and maintenance and gas that needs to be paid for, and I'd win big money if I bet they haven't given you one red cent to cover any car usage costs. Ditch the neighbors, tell your story, take back the offer to use the van, and hug your sweet Mom for me.
Last story: I agree with another poster, wrap it up and give it back to him on Father's Day. He'll probably be ticked off, but he'll have brought it on himself. Besides, the idea of regifting his already regifted present back to him is pretty funny.😁🤣
Jane needs to go find a man that's going to respect her worth. And think she's the all-and-all. That man is not you. God bless Jane hopefully she dumps you soon
If that had been my fiancé doing that, it would have ended up being that he HAD been my fiancé ..... cuz he wouldn't have been any longer. Dude has a thing for "the other woman" ..... I would not have been able to ever trust him again if he were to say "I love you" to me. And forget about wedding vows ..... nope ..... would never believe him then either. The grass on the other side is always going to be too attractive to him for me to trust him.
I feel terrible for Jane. Imagine having a partner that's literally obsessed with another woman just because she's more beautiful. Don't you notice how OP doesn't say that Jane is beautiful? Just that she's beautiful in 'her own way'... like what the fuck does that even mean? It's clear that OP is obsessed with Sara and wants to be with her, but chose Jane because he was looking at the bigger picture and got with a woman that would give him what he wanted, including a wealthy lifestyle since Jane will eventually be making a ton of cash as a lawyer while Sara won't be making as much money.
Sounds like he wants eye candy & since he his lifestyle meshes better with Jane he wants to turn her physically into Sarah so he can have the best of both worlds. Jane definitely needs to listen to advice like your’s & dump him. For ultimate pettiness she should do this while dressed like Sarah the bombshell. 😂
Story 2: I learned this in secondary school: If you go out of your way to defend yourself before you're even attacked, it's because you feel offended/guilty most of the time. OP spends the entire post praising his wonderful friend and not once does he contemplate the fact that MAYBE he's showing favouritism. Jane, if you're reading this or haven't done this already, man's got to go. My theory is you're just a placeholder since he knows it won't work out with Sara. Edit: Wow, never gotten this many likes before. Thx!
@@velvety2006 Dude's giving me very creepy vibes. The fact that he literally fawns over Sara... probably drooling all over her and perhaps acting so possessive whenever she starts speaking to other guests makes me so uncomfortable. Didn't you notice that not once did he say anything really positive about Jane outside of the fact that she's successful, driven... oh and she's beautiful in her own way. I don't even think he even used the word beautiful, I think he said pretty.
@@TiffWaffles "before you said that I'm attracted to sara" then proceed to list down reasons why sara wouldn't date him and never denied that he actually is attracted to her. OP sucks
Wholeheartedly agree. The fact OP opened on defending himself, instinctively told us that he and Sara were compatible before even telling us the story tells plenty but dude really what else will people say if you spend an entire wedding complimenting another woman, especially in front of your fiancee. If everyone is telling you this then OP needs to accept it, he IS fawning for Sara.
@@TiffWaffles Yh. Pretty sure he used "unique" as well. It makes me sad that someone's so oblivious to his own stupidity that they waste people's time. If OP loves Sara like 99% of the people who watched this believe, he should consider ending ut with one of them cause keeping both in this circle of intimacy and the completely neglecting one is toxic bf behaviour. What kind of man ignores their fiancée for HOURS and not know why they're crying in the bathroom?
Well, that would make his life easier and potentially safer. No telling what kind of shit the 17 year old might try if/when he gets his nose out of joint over something else the 19 year old gets or gets to do that he can't. Too bad there isn't somewhere the 17 year old can be sent ....... or maybe there is. I see this situation as a perfect set up for an episode of the Dr Phil show. Remember, he supposedly has all kinds of contact with outside sources for kids who need to be straightened out. The situation over the cars just one situation with this 17 year old. You can pretty much bet it isn't the only time this kid has decided that it is unfair that someone else in the family got something that he didn't, and then he raised a stink about it.
How can they call you selfish? You already let them use it to help them out. It's your personal vehicle. Not the community transport. They'reentitled a**holes. And concerning the neighborhood, they need to mind their own business.
OP is DEFINITELY TA in that first story but not for the reason she thinks. There is CLEARLY a lot of info being left out here. The way she casually mentions how bratty and entitled her son is acting makes me think this isn’t new behaviour and that he has probably acted like this for years and OP enabled it. I feel bad for the step bro and husband.
Given that she immediately took his camp funds to pay for car repairs and mentioned that he pulled this starvation act before to the point of ending up in the hospital, I don't think enabling is the problem. Sounds like the kid has a personality disorder, probably narcissism or something similar, and hasn't been diagnosed or treated for this *obvious* problem. Where OP is the asshole is assuming this is normal behavior and acting as if normal punishments are going to do anything.
This definitely isn’t new behavior as she said she was worried about him because he wasn’t eating, like he was on a hunger strike to get his way and that last time he did it he was in the hospital for low blood pressure. Her kid isn’t a kid as he’s almost a adult, he’s just acting like a kid I mean he really thought his stepdads ex should buy him a car too?!! Or make Ultimatums like let me drive it or else u have to get ride of the car! Naw op hasn’t been doing anything to try and punish or correct his behavior, it isn’t just being a moody teenager. What a spoiled immature entitled brat, what’s next that he’s gunna throw a fit about?
@@jenicdarling9425 There have been punishments and corrective measures, as stated in the post, they just haven't been *enough.* Partially, I think, because OP has deluded herself into thinking this is somehow normal when her son is actually deeply troubled.
Who schedules that trip to Disneyland before even clearing it with the person you want to borrow the car from? Entitled AH's, that's who. If you had never been so kind, they'd likely instantly called you an AH and probably ableist. Now that you have been so generous, they're entitled.
You need to get your son in therapy now. If I was the mother of the stepson I would have called the police. Also that child would not be allowed at your house ever again. Your son has serious issues you need to get it taken care of now ASAP
Absolutely! He has shown that he will take his anger out on his step brothers car, but what will stop him from possibly taking it out on his step brother next time. I'd also want the police involved because it's obvious they can't control the kid.
The entitled neighbors who wanted to take OP's van out of town (even though she needed it for her mom) have been lying to the other neighbors...bet on it. OP needs to tell the truth on social media and to have some talks with anyone she regularly does business with. This is what I would advise OP: Pick up dry cleaning? Tell the story. Paying the kid that mows the lawn? Definitely tell him. Kids see a lot, hear a lot and know a lot of other kids...who will also tell their own folks. Tell the folks at the grocery store. Go to church and arrange pastoral counseling...discuss how your doing a good deed has left you isolated because the recipients of your kindness got angry the ONLY time you were unable to let them take the car and decided to tell the whole community things that have made them shun you. Add that you suspect that, in their disappointment that YOU needed YOUR car for YOUR mom, they let their anger get the better of them and told lies about you. They ran around the neighborhood wrecking your reputation by lying...you do the same thing to them with the truth. Keep any texts and emails the neighbors sent making their demands and refusing all compromises, anything they said afterward...keep any of the normal exchanges that refer to the van's use so that people can see how often you DID let them use the van. Be ready to show that you still own the van...they might have told people that they were purchasing it. Get security cameras...video and audio are your best wittnesses and a safety measure if the entitled neighbors escalate this or just decide to take the van. If the entitled neighbors have any decency and remorse, they will be able to learn from this and mend both their reputations and their relationship with OP. If not, it's on them for behaving maliciously, not on OP for seeking justice.
There was an update and it was a misunderstanding. Neighbor wasn't spreading info, her best friend was. It all got cleared up pretty quickly and apologies were given.
I wish these YTA comments will shut up with their “YTA for letting this happen.” It’s pathetic. I mean the son only trash the car once not multiple times. Op does not have freaking ESP to foresee this happening. And labeling her the AH for a person’s destructive behavior does not make her an idiot. Try to make sense with your logic
Seriously????? You let them use your van, and they think they can schedule their vacation without talking to you first????!!!!!! Take your van back, and flip off your judge neighbors!!!!!!
Prosthetic leg story: YTA, if you have a major medical problem/condition it should really be discuses in the first 3 or 4 dates (this coming from someone who has major medical issues). If you've been dating for months you are far beyond that (assuming you go out once a week).
My neighbor (fam of 4) was going to go to Disney World for Spring Break. They ended up not going because between flights, park tickets, hotel and food it was going to be about $16,000 for eight days. Even if they are driving how are they affording two weeks at Disney?! While I understand pricing during spring break is inflated, I can’t imagine it would be any less inflated during the summer.
What I don't get either is that the mom doesn't have a job because she is taking care of the kids but has nurses also helping? I feel like the mom is using the daughter to get out of working. And if they are talking the daughter with them what the hell was the daughter going to be doing?
OP in the second story is a creep. He is obsessed with Sara to the point that he compliments her multiple times whenever he sees her. He fawns over her... practically drools over her. Then ignores the woman he's actually seeing to literally hang out with this other woman. Let's ignore for the moment that Sara seems like the type of woman who takes advantage of her looks and her lifestyle, outdoing every single woman in attendance at get togethers and parties... this isn't the issue. The issue is with a creep that wants to be with Sara but got stuck with Jane because of the fact that she'll make a lot more money in the long run than somebody working in the fashion industry at a bridal shop. OP is gross. I'd feel creeped out if I was Sara.
@@julianne089 I agree, but sometimes it takes a long time for people to see that the behaviour of one of their best friends isn't healthy. For example, it took me years to figure out that one of my ex guy friends was a complete douche baguette and was the definition of a nice guy until I really looked into the relationship and saw him for the toxic moron he really is. Last time I checked, he was still posting really nasty things about women and claiming that he's such a saint and women hate him. If OP is exuding this much infatuated obsession over Sara online, I can imagine that it is worse in real life... something that Sara might not realise is unhealthy until she also does some self reflection and recognises that this behaviour is wrong. So, while you are correct with the possibility that Sara would have noticed and wouldn't dumped her friend- there's also a possibility that she doesn't really understand how deep OP's infatuation with her is. The fact that he fawns over her and is constantly complimenting her makes me cringe.
@@TiffWaffles oh you’re right. And also many women give such friends many chances so as not to be cruel. Something women are more often socialized to be responsible for others feelings. I was too quick in my opinion and also I realize she might feel safe/ok because he has a gf and not noticing his behavior...
The van story has a *VERY* easy fix. If they won't take no for an answer, kfine, it's apparent they're choosing beggars and *demand* your van without compromise, then all niceties are rescinded. Be the "good guy", and let them think they'll get it. Then 1-2 days before they're supposed to leave, unplug the coil wire, or similarly pop the fuse for the ignition module. Then crank, and crank, and crank, and crank. "Whups, can't get it started. Needs to go to the mechanic." What'll they do then? Demand you drop everything to get it fixed in time for their trip? "Sorry, I'm short on cash, gotta wait 'til *at least* next payday, and that's *IF* I have the bux to spend on a van I normally don't use." A cooperative "mechanic" friend can come over and price it out as 700-800bux to fix. Then let them *GIVE* (not loan!) you the money to have it fixed, if they want it so badly. No one can make you a doormat without your own permission.
Story 1: Imagine being 17 and giving your parents an ultimatum at all? I doubt I would have made it to the age I am today. He's 17, the cops would turn a blind eye if he got his ass beat. That is what he needs. IDC what anyone says.
I agree. I cannot fathom how 1. The stepbrother didn't give him a right kicking. 2. How the mother did not slap his face when he inferred she was a whore or 3. the step-brother didn't give him a second kicking. Not to mention the step-father.
nah he needed an actual parent. this shit doesn't happen overnight. Op let this shit go on and didn't want to do shit until it started causing issues with the new husband
I know someone who was a psychopathic narcissist from the age of 5, regardless of the parents trying to raise her right. Sometimes it's on the Parents (probably 90%+), sometimes there's nothing that they can do. If they are trying to be proper parents, they should get the police involved NOW, while there's still a chance of turning him around.... Because later is going to really ruin the boy. And it's obvious that there will be a later.
@@Calories_To_Calibers oh please, what do you want OP to do? Or even her husband? Refuse the gift? First OP doesn't have that authority and second, I bet stepson mother would shut both husband and OP up, and she would be right. OP son is a brat, end of story. You're making a lot of assumptions, this may been first entitled act from him too, there is a first time for everything right? Or maybe stepson was smart to hide other gifts but you can't exactly hide a car.
The third story with the woman with a prosthetic had me laughing! I use glasses for driving, and the amount of people surprised that I use them surprise me! It's fairly common for people to need glasses. It's really not that uncommon to need support devices like hearing aids, contact lenses, glasses, prosthetics, wheelchairs, etc. I don't know why society makes a better deal over some than others.
also sometimes people are pretty sensitive about these things or why they have them, it's been only two months it's not like he married her and found out then.
what got me was the amount of YTA comments, OP has lost leg when she was three...THREE! she even said herself that what she can't remember a time she didn't have a prosthetics - it's normal for her. If the boyfriend had been dating someone with hayfever for 2 month in winter would people still complain that they should have told him? Yes I know hayfever and prosthetics are totel diffrent, my point is why are people saying OP is an AH for not saying anything about a normal part of herself?
I don’t understand the YTA comment in the video. What do they expect? Them to be sitting in a movie and her to go, “can you pass the popcorn, oh by the way I have a prosthetic leg.”
The boyfriend's reaction is the big red flag in that story. He acted like it was such a massive deal, like she had a violent criminal record. His hangups are his to deal with, and OP shouldn't be blamed for not wearing a sign that says "I have a prosthetic leg."
I refuse to believe this the first time your son is acted this way. You know exactly what kind of person he is figure it out before you release another a****** into the world
Story 4: No good deed goes unpunished. OP has been extremely generous to just let them use the car but now they feel entitled to it and refuse to part with what is a MASSIVE privilege. You can bet OP will never try to do anything nice for other people after this experience.
Don't let them use the van for anything at any time any more. They can afford to go to Disneyland for two weeks, they can buy their own van. Neighbors that don't like it, can buy her a van themselves. Cut them all off.
No NTA, I would’ve called the cops on that little crap, I wonder what kind of upbringing did he have to think that he’s entitled to a new car justice because his stepbrothers’ father bought his son a new car for his birthday.
Story 1: nta the "favoritism" is all in the sons head. He needs to get some help cause that ain't right. Step sons mother gifted him the car and he expects the step family to pay for his too? That's ridiculous and I'm glad op paid the damages because that's damage to property and could land him in trouble with the law. And him throwing a middle finger and laughing just goes to show he's not mature enough to even be driving. He's 17 and he's acting like that?.
It’s not just that he’s immature. He sounds like a budding psychopath. He is manipulative, vindictive, entitled, and seems to care about no one but himself. I agree he will be in trouble with the law. Also-OP didn’t pay for the damages-she took the money from her psychopath Son’s savings to pay them, so HE paid the damages. He should be brought up on police charges so that maybe he will have a wake up call before it’s too late (if it isn’t already).
2nd Story: YTA. By what I read and heard from the OP's story sounds more like he is in LUST for Sara and is settling with Jane. And it sounds like Jane finally clued into what your true feeling about Sara and her are really like. I wouldn't be surprised if Jane left after that party. OP needs to get his head out of his A$$ and get to groveling if he hopes to in anyway save his relationship with Jane. And it may end up with no contact with Sara to do it. Last Story: NTA. I love the idea the first commentor had. Rewrap the gift and give it to him for Father's Day or his birthday. If he has a problem with it just tell him since he gifted you a gift you had already told him you didn't want even though it was initially for his mom then he shouldn't have a problem getting it right back. But that is just my petty side showing a little bit.
Haven't you noticed how OP doesn't even seem to say anything nice about Jane outside of the fact that she's beautiful in her own way? OP is a huge creep obsessing about Sara. It sounds like he literally follows her around and fawns over her wherever she goes. Just because Sara is beautiful and goes to great lengths with her appearance and picks out what she wants to wear to make herself 'look perfect' doesn't mean she wants OP or creeps like him to fawn over her like she's a sex doll. He's giving me serious creep vibes.
Last story: the last commenter sounds like the kind of person would pull a stunt like this and then chime in with the “it’s the thought that counts” bit. Honestly, this person doesn’t think husbands should get the mother of their children a Mother’s Day gift for pushing a whole human out their Netherland?! Wow…just…wow!
Story 2: I don't even know what the issue is but I already know YTA. Bro is trying to convince everyone he isn't into Sara while his words and actions say otherwise. No wonder his fiancé is insecure around her. I have childhood female friends. Ask me how often I comment on their looks AT ALL beyond "you look great", let alone to the point someone can accuse me of "over complimenting". Just the way hr talks about both women is disgusting And then I got to the actual issue: "I couldn't stop complimenting her." Wjat an asshole. Dude straight lusts over Sara right in front of his fiancé...and thinks that's NORMAL
When my GF (now wife) introduced me to her BFF I saw her coming down the street and quietly said to my GF, “I thought you said she was younger than you, but you look way younger.”
Ugh I read the one about the guy with the friend he was drooling over ..he is so stupid ..smh no matter what anyone says he disagrees and drools over Sara..smh . Even if his fiancee leaves him he won't understand what he's doing wrong he's got a total hard on for Sara
I would be sending a flyer around to those neighbours suggesting a whip around to buy that family their own van because you cannot afford to give them yours and they are all so generous
The story of the ramp van, You offered it to them, not them asking to use it. you should by basic common sense be able to revoke it. Unfortunately with entitled people (especially those with disadvantaged children), when you need it over them this shit happens
Story 2: So basically in the responses, he defends himself with "But Jane is always bitter around Sara" and explains that the dress Sara wore was basically...how to put it nicely...a dress that women around the highways could wear ("deep V neck, slit up her thigh, very sparkly"). I just hope Jane dumps him...
Ew... so, he just said that his best friend wears dresses that make her look like a prostitute... then fawns over her and says she's beautiful. He's sexually objectifying Sara. I hope both Jane and Sara dump him. Nobody deserves to be objectified like that. Nobody.
Story 1 . . . Almost adult . . . . That boys needs a huge wake up call and needs to be held accountable. I'd call the police and ha e him charged. He is a minor so his record will be wiped at adulthood. However if you don't act and act harsh and fast he will pull this shit as an adult and end up in jail.
How did the mom in the first story let their kid get this bad??? She needs to get him out of the house before he kills someone in that house! 2nd story: for someone who isn’t attracted to someone, they sure love to keep talking about how attractive they are! All he has is the audacity
I really want an update to the handicap-adapted minivan story. Usually when people unrelated to the incident become jaded it's because they have been told lies.
First stopry: OP needs to face the reality that it's her son who has the problem, not her stepson, or her husband, or husband's ex-wife. If your son starves himself into a hospital stay, it will only be more manipulation. OP needs to respond by placing him on at least a 72 hour psychiatric hold. The boy needs professional help, and as he is prone to violent and destructive behavior and self-harm, it may not be as an out-patient.
Mothers don’t place children on 72 hour psychiatric holds-doctors do. And only when they are a direct danger to themselves or others. She needs to bring him in for evaluation but you cannot just ask for a 72 h psych hold.
Wow. These people have nerve. I understand if they had no time to change their plans. You need to remind them of your deal. They can use it when your mom is there. Also tell the neighbor s if they think you bad then why don’t they all get together and buy them their own vehicle.
If it was me I would move I don't you don't need those people. And when you leave you leave a long letter of the truth and have your last sentence be I was kind enough to let them borrow my van. Didn't ask him for any money I'm paying for the insurance I have to pay for the wear and tear. Instead of being thankful they got entitled and felt they had the right for the van for their child over me having the van for my mother which is what it was bought for. And every one of you in abled this toxic entitled behavior. I will be sure to tell the new neighbors people beware this is not a good neighborhood when I leave.
Story 2: NTA.....People who are disabled, but don't physically show it (like, a wheelchair or something obvious) get terrified of being left by their partners for being disabled. I'm disabled, and lost so many potential partner's after the first two dates because they didn't like the fact I have Autism and ADHD and other physical limitations either. People just hating on OP for being disabled at this point, it *IS* uncomfortable to talk about something like that, especially when you DON'T remember everything that happened to lose a full leg?
If you’re chilling out compliments and prays constantly to someone that you’re not marrying in front of the person you’re marrying And they get upset And you have to be told that they’re upset about it you are a moron and a terrible partner
Story 1. I think that OP and her husband under-reacted. As they have camera footage the stepson can inform the police and have OP's son charged with vandalism and malicious damage.
The second story makes me want to barf. 🙄🙄🙄🙄 He literally lists all of the reasons how he's attracted to Sara and how he's not attracted to his own fiancée. I think he's in love with Sara but since they don't have the same life goals is the only reason he's not with her. 🙄🙄🙄🙄 I'd leave so fast if i were Jane.
Okay about the disability hiding story. This is due to the fact most people will judge someone's disability or see them as just their disability. Which does happen. My husband didn't tell me about his CP Cerebral Palsy. And I didn't find out till our first date. I was a little mad. But not because he was disabled but because I told him point blank I'm autistic and he didn't mention his disability. Once I learned of why he hid it. I understood why
yea but this isn't the first couple dates this is several months into dating, something this big should have been revealed after a couple dates at the latest.
I mean, yeah, it’s tragic that people use disabilities as an excuse to judge a person. But, this is a big part of OP. It’s not something small like having a weird fetish, she is literally missing an entire leg. That’s something you need to bring up much earlier than two months. How long was she planning on hiding this information before it was dramatically revealed? And even if your story, your husband didn’t tell you before hand, but he still told you on the first date. That’s the same thing OP should have done.
@@H.P._Lovecrafts_Beloved_Cat While that's true I mean in terms of how these disabilities effect someone is the factor. With my husband it isn't too much. (Balance issues mostly) Something like a amputee it's something you have to deal with every day.
I would have called the cops immediately his savings would have been used to fix the car The other thing is he would be spending some time behind bars You're an adult now when you're out you will not be coming back to live with us so you better make arrangements to find a place to live you are a criminal now You're out of our house welcome to real life
"I couldn't stop raving about about Sara" and over clothes too!?!?!?!? Hahahahaha sounds downright creepy and unstable. What straight man acts like that too? Also lifelong best friends with a "fabulous, glamorous girl" too!!!! Hahahahaha
Story 1. What would is your son from to think he could make ultimatums a crazy comprises that didnt even make sense and to think not eating til he has to go to er is ok?? Did you never disciple him when he was little OP?? All the crap your son said is wrong and and truly he should have been punished by the police. Your taking his money to pay the damage he did is the consequences for him ruining the car. And if he decides to not eat, you should send him to hospital and for mental supervision.
In the real world, people buy their way out atrocious and illegal choices every day. First OP's soon does need consequences, but that line of reasoning is definitely not the way to go about it.
From what the friends say, sounds like Sara does dress to get the attention. The friend should avoid inviting Sara to the wedding. Considering she showed up dressed over the top to an engagement party, a day meant for the couple, she may show up in a stunning wedding dress for the wedding. And even in this post OP is gushing to us about her looks and calls his fiancée (maybe ex) “unique”. Doesn’t gush over her just a simple unique. Then he spends ALL NIGHT telling Sara how good she looks. It sounds like he was near Sarah all night and left his fiancée alone at HIS friends party cause he didn’t even notice her crying. I feel so bad for Jane I hope she cuts and runs and recognizes her worth far exceeds this man. And Sara I think does want him cause she keeps dressing up and never tells him to stop, seems she encourages the behavior
Story 1: OP is not the A-hole, but her son is. She should let her husband press charges on her son. She should also make it clear to her son that due to his behavior he will never receive any help from any of you to buy a car. I'd pull his driver's license with the DMV. I'd make him get a job to pay for the rest of the damages. I'd also let him know that if he doesn't change his attitude he can move out the minute he turns 18. As a mother I'm furious with OP's son. If my daughter did that I would have pressed charges myself and she knows it. I would also do all OP did plus all I stated above. His phone would be gone. Any gaming systems he owned would be gone. He would feel the loss as a consequence of his actions.
Call the cops...document the damage...let the court handle his juvenile behavior and make him pay for the damages...this kid is out of control! It will only get worse, if unchecked...since when is gifting suppose to be fair...
When I was growing up. Men would tell me there's women you bang and woman you marry. OP wants to marry his fiancee. And has the hots for the friend. He needs to drop the friend or his fiancee needs to drop him.
OP's son is so off base that he is floating somewhere out in space. OP did you always spoil your son and never teach him the word no?? And other Necessary things to have a normal human? I get it is hard to see stepson have things that he can't have but that doesn't give him right to make ultimates and destroy what he can't have. Half of me says police should have gotten involved. You didnt steal, you were making him pay for the damages he willfully did.Teen needs deep therapy.
![BLACK BAG - Official Trailer [HD] - Only in Theaters March 14](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Du0Xp8WX_7I/mqdefault.jpg)
Wow the balls on the kid from story 1.
Giving ultimatums and compromises like he’s runs the house.
He may not be from a rich family but he acts like a spoiled rich kid
Sounds like he still needs a bottle.
He acts like he has Cluster Personality Disorder. You can't parent or punish that out of someone - trying to do so usually makes it WORSE. You can, however, get them admitted for the erratic behaviour and being a danger to themselves and others.
@@superiorrule34 Sounds like he needs a visit from police. I hope the step-brother’s mom insists on charges. What a creep.
In my country he will get the beating of a lifetime and if he complain then I would show the video to the police and press charges and if the mom says something she will be homeless in a heartbeat.
He should have been in therapy for years before this. Especially after needing to be hospitalized for not eating. Someone was ignoring the warning signs!
A child should never talk about their parents intimate life in the way that OP's son did. That was some beginner incel crap if I've ever heard it. It's unbelievably creepy and I feel for every woman who ends up with a son like that.
Yea I got huge "early incel visiting the wrong subreddits/youtube channels" vibes from the story.
It’s the mothers fault for letting him get away with things for a long time & this is the result of her non actions
My mother would slap that attitude right out of him. NO ENTITLED NANCY.
I fear for anyone that come across this boy in their life especially future coworkers. I can him going off on a coworker because they got the promotion over them and don't let it be a woman.
@@happyme65 We don't know that. The post didn't mention anything about how he was treated in the past. Don't presume like that.
Story #1: If I was the stepson's parent, I would've done everything in my power to make sure that little twerp would've spent his remaining teenage years in a juvenile detention center.
His reaction after being confronted lets me know that this kid isn't going to feel remorse just by grounding him and going to family therapy sessions.
“I’m not attracted to my fiancé’s friend,” goes on to explain in excruciating detail how attracted he is to his fiancés friend and how he ignores his partner to drool over another woman.
It was his childhood friend not fiancé's but I still agree.
also he didn't just make first impression compliment, he kept complimenting her thru the night and didn't even notice fiance sitting alone and that she was crying some point.
i truly hope fiance walks away. no one needs that type of disrespect from partner.
also "not being match" doesn't mean attraction and wanting relationship is there. surely OPd jump on his friend the moment she'd express interest.
They are just not compatible lol
My wife and I would compare notes 🤷🏼♂️ it's not for everyone
The accessible vehicle story really reduces my faith in humanity. OP has helped them out for 18 months and her asking for courtesy for her mom is met with accusations of selfishness and ostracisation? Why would someone help anyone if this is the gratitude they show?
I hope she never let's them her car again forget that whole neighborhood 😒😒😒
There has to be more to the story. The parents likely stretched the truth or fabricated a horrendous story. I can’t imagine people being angry with the OP.
No good deed goes unpunished.
@@Rjj2721 Exactly what I was thinking.
@@GMAMEC Yeah, I'd bet that the neighbors told everyone that OP said they could use the van, then took it back at the very last minute which ruined their vacation. What BS.
“So before anyone says I may be attracted to Sara over my fiancée, remember this…” then OP proceeds to list a bunch of stuff like how incompatible he is with Sara none of which cancels out that he is absolutely, 100%, physically attracted to her. And I have a feeling that if Sara gave him an opening he would jump in her bed faster that lightning.
If she gave him so much as a wink he’d dump fiancé and jump into bed with friend.
I bet he thinks Sara is out of his league, so he settled for his fiancé.
@@mattwho81 probably
@@blackrex828 yeah, does sound like he’s “settling”
@@PotterBrony82 And making it obvious to fiancee that she's Plan B.
story 2: even the friend's fiancee called him out on his shitty behavior and Sara's too. You don't dress to upstage the couple whose party it is.
Story 1: NTA. Hun, I have half a mind to just call the cops on your kid. He’s a spoiled brat! The mear fact that he gave you “Ultimatums” has so much nerve!
Story 1: So, stepbrother having a car after living two years longer than him and somehow it´s unfair that he´s not getting the same thing? Does OP´s son also throwing a tantrum when stepbro can buy alcohol and he can´t?
Probably. He’s a self centered narcissist with budding psychopath tendencies.
2nd Story: Anyone else notice OP didn't mention that he was physically or sexually attracted to his financee Jane? Jane needs to leave the relationship for someone who is attracted to her in all ways.
He wants a woman that goes with is future plan. If he wanted his friend he probably only go for sex. She kinda dumb for thinking she had a chance.
I think he likes Sara but she shot him down so he's settling for Jane and thinking she'll stick around because "since she's not conventionally attractive, she'll just take what she can get."
I was waiting for him to say that… didn’t happen😔 DAMN!!!
He needs to say it?
He's literally complimenting her work is the thing in his head...
Story 4: Like other posters have said, don't loan them your van anymore, and point out to them that if they can afford a road trip to Disney Land, then they can afford their own wheelchair van. Also, set the record straight with the other community members. If there is a community website, post what's really going on between you and your neighbors there. Your neighbors's sense of entitlement is way out of line.
I have no doubt the neighbors were not given the real story.
If no community website, I would print up copies of a statement and leave one at every house. And deny them use of the van. I hate it when "friends" assume. I was recently contacted by someone I know to take care of her cat while she was out of town. I normally would, but she cobtacted me at the last moment when she had known about the trip for weeks. I told her to find an alternative. My life is getting too complicated, including dealing with my mother long distance. She found someone down the street from her.
@@MrBeevee5 absolutely agree. But idiot people believing every random story and berating OP without finding out the truth is just ridiculous.
So there was an update to this story, the whole thing was a misunderstanding. A few days before their convo about the Disney trip the neighbor received news the kid wouldn't last but a few more months. So neighbor mom was in a highly emotional state when speaking to op then vented to her best friend (also in the neighborhood) who then told everyone op was heartless. See, best friend thought op knew about the medical diagnosis but we know that's untrue. Everything came to a head a few days after op posted because neighbor mom found the reddit post. Neighbor mom apologized, best friend apologized and set the record straight. Random neighbors texted op to apologize for their behavior.
Op then decides to raise money in the neighborhood to pay for flight and accomodations for the Disney trip. The family was able to make it happen and the daughter has passed away as of the last update.
@@Sandyyyyyyyyyy thank you for sharing
I’m convinced you can’t ever do anything for anyone ever. Imagine the entitlement to someone else’s car.
It's disheartening how parents think they're entitled to other people's stuff because they have disabled children. That is still Op's van at the end of the day and she clearly needed it so she could transport mother. How is that selfish compared to going to Disneyworld? I also get the impression that the neighbors lied about Op so they could look like the victims. Op shouldn't cave. In fact, she should stop them for using the van period. They took her kindness for granted and are trying to punish her for using her property. And the money they used for Disneyworld could be saved and invested in their own van. NTA.
There are programs to assist families with disabled children to get specialized vans... I was wondering why they haven’t even done so yet. It still costs money, but there is help. However, there really aren’t programs to help fund specialized vans for adult children caregivers of their elderly parents. As a parent of a child with special needs ( but not that would need a van) I would’ve been floored by this kindness and offer of help. I can’t even imagine turning on someone so kind and helpful.
Usually if you are hoping to use a friend/neighbour's property, you check with them. Before booking a holiday, you definitely check with them to ensure they are not going to need it during that period. They took things for granted and have now been caught out. Rather than being grateful for their previous access, they turn into bullies and have probably lied to the neighbourhood. Ensure the neighbours know the truth and then stop letting them use the van as a result of their lies and bullying.
Yeah I'd go door to door and ask if they know anyone with a minivan that can pick up my disabled mother from a 12 hour flight so the neighbor can borrow my car for their vacation. I suspect the family trashed op to them and so it be right to put it back on them.
I really hope Jane dumps him. OP was so disrespectful and I can't imagine spending a life with someone while competing with another woman at every corner. There would be constant insecurity even if Sara isn't around and especially on a bad day. This is an unstable grounds for a marriage and if Sara dressed "down" or even gives OP a hint she will grace him with a date or more he will be gone despite how "incompatible" he thinks she is. I highly doubt OP would appreciate it if Jane was fawning over another man at a party - then again maybe he wouldn't care especially if Sara is there. Also I think Sara enjoys this since she isn't complaining to friends or OP (and wearing an attention seeking outfit to overshadow) is because likely on some level she enjoys him salivating and disrespecting Jane.
She probably keeps him around because she likes the ego boost. But I doubt she's interested. That's probably why he made up so many excuses as to why they aren't together. I bet the other friend was right about Sarah being an attention seeker. Why else would she try to outshine someone on their engagement party.? Also can't believe OP ditched Jane the whole party to complement Sarah and didn't even know she was crying. I hope she dumps him too.
Yeah. It's one thing to think someone is physically attractive but to go on and on about them while your partner is there is just a huge 🚩. Also, we don't know anything about how Sarah feels about it but judging how, she apparently wore an inappropriate dress at someone's engagement, must say something but honestly, we don't know. Doesn't give OP the right to act like that though.
Story 2: All I hear is "I'm attracted to my friend but she doesn't want me so I found someone else, my girlfriend noticed I liked them and now she's getting jealous and insecure about it. Is it my fault?" yes. Yes it is your fault.
Exactly!!!!
Even worse since I guarantee everyone around them is also painfully aware how often he is probably just staring at Sara.
And Sara just sounds like an attention-seeker, seeing how she tries to outshine the bride!
Only jerks do that. Not friends.
Also telling how he gushed a bunch ov differing compliments about Sara and barely mentions how good-looking his actual wife is.
Creepy jackass.
First OP needs to kick her entitled adult son out. Usually when a young adult behaves like this they have been treated like a prince who can do no wrong and has every right to mistreat others. I do wonder if OP was fine with this until he started causing problems with the new family.
You can't kick minors out of the house. It's literally illegal. The son is a minor, the step brother is the adult. And no, USUALLY when people behave like this, it's a Cluster Personality Disorder and they're terrorising the whole family. This is above the 'you just spoiled him' paygrade you hold. He needs to be admitted to a psychiatric ward, and starving himself alone is grounds.
He would have been gone yesterday.
@@pansprayers But he is 19. That is not a minor.
@@Grouchbox I think the stepson is 19 and the son is 17, so still a minor. But probably he was raised treated as a prince and that’s why he feels entitled to everything.
You should rewatch the story. The entitled SON is age 17. The older step-son (who received the car from his own mother) is age 19.
OP can’t throw out her 17 year old son but she needs to get him therapy and a formal psychiatric evaluation asap (and should have done so years ago)
Story 2: OP's explanation of how compatible him and Jane are vs him and Sarah, is not as good of a defense as he thinks. It sounds more like he tried with Sarah, saw they wouldn't work long term and settled for Jane.
I find it weird af that he was complimenting Sarah all night. What the fuck. Why was he doing that.
@@itsjustmaddisen because he's obviously in love with her but because he can't have her, he does everything he can to be as close as possible to her.
Sara is the choice of his heart, Jane the choice of his head. And in the end the heart wins. I hope Jane wisens up and finds herself a nice man to whom she is the most beautiful woman in the room, regardless of what she wears.
I think a huge part of the problem is that Sara WANTS the attention and knows how to get it. Op,and his fiance need to spend like a week away from everyone, especially Sara, with absolutely no contact between him and her and absolutely no speaking of her even once during that time. How both he and Sara react to this time away will be far more telling than anything and will tell him and Jane where to go from there. Also, after that week, go minimal contact with Sara for a while. If at an event at the same time, give her a hello, a small, polite compliment and only speak to her when the occasion calls for it.
I wouldn't be surprised if he was kind of conditioned by Sara during the 22 year friendship to basically put her first and make sure that she'll always be the most beautiful woman in the world to him. He needs help and to stay away from Sara for a while to work on his relationship with his fiance.
@@jedimasters1462 I agree, Sara seems like maybe she might be narcissistic and self centered. OP might have been conditioned to fawn over her without realizing it or the consequences of his actions. Maybe their friend group needs to all back off inviting Sara for milestone events so she Doesn't overshadow the main attraction. If Sara asks why, they need to be honest with her, and tell her she is not the main star at a red carpet event. That they want all eyes/attention on the star(s) of the gathering, not her. Maybe she'll tone it down. As for OP and his GF.... couples therapy, so he learns to understand what he is doing and how it affects his GF, and maybe gets reconditioned to not fawn over Sara.
If my child acted that entitled and then threatened self harm (self starvation) to get out of a consequence, I would send them to military school, if I didn't already press charges for felonious behaviour.
2nd OP....Dude, you are at an event, with your partner and she's sitting alone, and crying in hallways while you are complimenting Sara, repeatedly?
Like did he even compliment how Jane looked once? Please do this poor woman a favour and leave her so you can be a full time fluffer for stylish beautiful Sara.
Re Wheelchair Van: So NTI. More like big-hearted hero. The whole neighborhood, esp the moocher family with the daughter, IS the IDIOT, and a few other descriptors. That van is YOURS, not theirs. Agree that if they could spend the money on the road trip, they could've spent it on getting their own equipped van. I bet there's car insurance and maintenance and gas that needs to be paid for, and I'd win big money if I bet they haven't given you one red cent to cover any car usage costs.
Ditch the neighbors, tell your story, take back the offer to use the van, and hug your sweet Mom for me.
Last story: I agree with another poster, wrap it up and give it back to him on Father's Day. He'll probably be ticked off, but he'll have brought it on himself. Besides, the idea of regifting his already regifted present back to him is pretty funny.😁🤣
Jane needs to go find a man that's going to respect her worth. And think she's the all-and-all. That man is not you. God bless Jane hopefully she dumps you soon
If that had been my fiancé doing that, it would have ended up being that he HAD been my fiancé ..... cuz he wouldn't have been any longer. Dude has a thing for "the other woman" ..... I would not have been able to ever trust him again if he were to say "I love you" to me. And forget about wedding vows ..... nope ..... would never believe him then either. The grass on the other side is always going to be too attractive to him for me to trust him.
I feel terrible for Jane. Imagine having a partner that's literally obsessed with another woman just because she's more beautiful. Don't you notice how OP doesn't say that Jane is beautiful? Just that she's beautiful in 'her own way'... like what the fuck does that even mean? It's clear that OP is obsessed with Sara and wants to be with her, but chose Jane because he was looking at the bigger picture and got with a woman that would give him what he wanted, including a wealthy lifestyle since Jane will eventually be making a ton of cash as a lawyer while Sara won't be making as much money.
He is. He just respecting her standards outside of looks. Doesn't sound like someone a person would ask out if they didn't know other aspects of them.
Sounds like he wants eye candy & since he his lifestyle meshes better with Jane he wants to turn her physically into Sarah so he can have the best of both worlds. Jane definitely needs to listen to advice like your’s & dump him. For ultimate pettiness she should do this while dressed like Sarah the bombshell. 😂
Story 2: I learned this in secondary school: If you go out of your way to defend yourself before you're even attacked, it's because you feel offended/guilty most of the time. OP spends the entire post praising his wonderful friend and not once does he contemplate the fact that MAYBE he's showing favouritism. Jane, if you're reading this or haven't done this already, man's got to go. My theory is you're just a placeholder since he knows it won't work out with Sara.
Edit: Wow, never gotten this many likes before. Thx!
yea she is the second choice because he wants a partner in his life but he knows that the one he wants will not give him a second look.
@@velvety2006 Dude's giving me very creepy vibes. The fact that he literally fawns over Sara... probably drooling all over her and perhaps acting so possessive whenever she starts speaking to other guests makes me so uncomfortable. Didn't you notice that not once did he say anything really positive about Jane outside of the fact that she's successful, driven... oh and she's beautiful in her own way. I don't even think he even used the word beautiful, I think he said pretty.
@@TiffWaffles "before you said that I'm attracted to sara" then proceed to list down reasons why sara wouldn't date him and never denied that he actually is attracted to her.
OP sucks
Wholeheartedly agree.
The fact OP opened on defending himself, instinctively told us that he and Sara were compatible before even telling us the story tells plenty but dude really what else will people say if you spend an entire wedding complimenting another woman, especially in front of your fiancee.
If everyone is telling you this then OP needs to accept it, he IS fawning for Sara.
@@TiffWaffles Yh. Pretty sure he used "unique" as well. It makes me sad that someone's so oblivious to his own stupidity that they waste people's time. If OP loves Sara like 99% of the people who watched this believe, he should consider ending ut with one of them cause keeping both in this circle of intimacy and the completely neglecting one is toxic bf behaviour. What kind of man ignores their fiancée for HOURS and not know why they're crying in the bathroom?
Stepson should go live with his mom and get away from crazy in story 1
Well, that would make his life easier and potentially safer. No telling what kind of shit the 17 year old might try if/when he gets his nose out of joint over something else the 19 year old gets or gets to do that he can't. Too bad there isn't somewhere the 17 year old can be sent ....... or maybe there is. I see this situation as a perfect set up for an episode of the Dr Phil show. Remember, he supposedly has all kinds of contact with outside sources for kids who need to be straightened out. The situation over the cars just one situation with this 17 year old. You can pretty much bet it isn't the only time this kid has decided that it is unfair that someone else in the family got something that he didn't, and then he raised a stink about it.
the first story is so outrageous it is nearly unbelievable
Clearly you've never met someone with severe, untreated mental health issues.
How can they call you selfish? You already let them use it to help them out. It's your personal vehicle. Not the community transport. They'reentitled a**holes. And concerning the neighborhood, they need to mind their own business.
OP is DEFINITELY TA in that first story but not for the reason she thinks. There is CLEARLY a lot of info being left out here. The way she casually mentions how bratty and entitled her son is acting makes me think this isn’t new behaviour and that he has probably acted like this for years and OP enabled it.
I feel bad for the step bro and husband.
Given that she immediately took his camp funds to pay for car repairs and mentioned that he pulled this starvation act before to the point of ending up in the hospital, I don't think enabling is the problem. Sounds like the kid has a personality disorder, probably narcissism or something similar, and hasn't been diagnosed or treated for this *obvious* problem. Where OP is the asshole is assuming this is normal behavior and acting as if normal punishments are going to do anything.
This definitely isn’t new behavior as she said she was worried about him because he wasn’t eating, like he was on a hunger strike to get his way and that last time he did it he was in the hospital for low blood pressure. Her kid isn’t a kid as he’s almost a adult, he’s just acting like a kid I mean he really thought his stepdads ex should buy him a car too?!! Or make Ultimatums like let me drive it or else u have to get ride of the car! Naw op hasn’t been doing anything to try and punish or correct his behavior, it isn’t just being a moody teenager. What a spoiled immature entitled brat, what’s next that he’s gunna throw a fit about?
@@jenicdarling9425 There have been punishments and corrective measures, as stated in the post, they just haven't been *enough.* Partially, I think, because OP has deluded herself into thinking this is somehow normal when her son is actually deeply troubled.
Who schedules that trip to Disneyland before even clearing it with the person you want to borrow the car from? Entitled AH's, that's who. If you had never been so kind, they'd likely instantly called you an AH and probably ableist. Now that you have been so generous, they're entitled.
You need to get your son in therapy now. If I was the mother of the stepson I would have called the police. Also that child would not be allowed at your house ever again. Your son has serious issues you need to get it taken care of now ASAP
Absolutely! He has shown that he will take his anger out on his step brothers car, but what will stop him from possibly taking it out on his step brother next time. I'd also want the police involved because it's obvious they can't control the kid.
The entitled neighbors who wanted to take OP's van out of town (even though she needed it for her mom) have been lying to the other neighbors...bet on it. OP needs to tell the truth on social media and to have some talks with anyone she regularly does business with. This is what I would advise OP: Pick up dry cleaning? Tell the story. Paying the kid that mows the lawn? Definitely tell him. Kids see a lot, hear a lot and know a lot of other kids...who will also tell their own folks. Tell the folks at the grocery store. Go to church and arrange pastoral counseling...discuss how your doing a good deed has left you isolated because the recipients of your kindness got angry the ONLY time you were unable to let them take the car and decided to tell the whole community things that have made them shun you. Add that you suspect that, in their disappointment that YOU needed YOUR car for YOUR mom, they let their anger get the better of them and told lies about you. They ran around the neighborhood wrecking your reputation by lying...you do the same thing to them with the truth. Keep any texts and emails the neighbors sent making their demands and refusing all compromises, anything they said afterward...keep any of the normal exchanges that refer to the van's use so that people can see how often you DID let them use the van. Be ready to show that you still own the van...they might have told people that they were purchasing it. Get security cameras...video and audio are your best wittnesses and a safety measure if the entitled neighbors escalate this or just decide to take the van. If the entitled neighbors have any decency and remorse, they will be able to learn from this and mend both their reputations and their relationship with OP. If not, it's on them for behaving maliciously, not on OP for seeking justice.
There was an update and it was a misunderstanding. Neighbor wasn't spreading info, her best friend was. It all got cleared up pretty quickly and apologies were given.
I wish these YTA comments will shut up with their “YTA for letting this happen.” It’s pathetic. I mean the son only trash the car once not multiple times. Op does not have freaking ESP to foresee this happening. And labeling her the AH for a person’s destructive behavior does not make her an idiot. Try to make sense with your logic
I agree with you on most points except OP is an idiot to not get him some serious help since this will be his SECOND hunger strike
That behaviour doesn't come out of the blue.
Last story: LMAO 🤣 that first comment was gold! It might turn into something funny over time!
Seriously????? You let them use your van, and they think they can schedule their vacation without talking to you first????!!!!!! Take your van back, and flip off your judge neighbors!!!!!!
Prosthetic leg story: YTA, if you have a major medical problem/condition it should really be discuses in the first 3 or 4 dates (this coming from someone who has major medical issues). If you've been dating for months you are far beyond that (assuming you go out once a week).
My neighbor (fam of 4) was going to go to Disney World for Spring Break. They ended up not going because between flights, park tickets, hotel and food it was going to be about $16,000 for eight days. Even if they are driving how are they affording two weeks at Disney?! While I understand pricing during spring break is inflated, I can’t imagine it would be any less inflated during the summer.
What I don't get either is that the mom doesn't have a job because she is taking care of the kids but has nurses also helping? I feel like the mom is using the daughter to get out of working. And if they are talking the daughter with them what the hell was the daughter going to be doing?
OP in the second story is a creep. He is obsessed with Sara to the point that he compliments her multiple times whenever he sees her. He fawns over her... practically drools over her. Then ignores the woman he's actually seeing to literally hang out with this other woman. Let's ignore for the moment that Sara seems like the type of woman who takes advantage of her looks and her lifestyle, outdoing every single woman in attendance at get togethers and parties... this isn't the issue. The issue is with a creep that wants to be with Sara but got stuck with Jane because of the fact that she'll make a lot more money in the long run than somebody working in the fashion industry at a bridal shop. OP is gross. I'd feel creeped out if I was Sara.
I think Sara would’ve dumped this childhood friend alon time ago if she wasn’t getting something out of his constant over attention...jmo
@@julianne089 I agree, but sometimes it takes a long time for people to see that the behaviour of one of their best friends isn't healthy. For example, it took me years to figure out that one of my ex guy friends was a complete douche baguette and was the definition of a nice guy until I really looked into the relationship and saw him for the toxic moron he really is. Last time I checked, he was still posting really nasty things about women and claiming that he's such a saint and women hate him. If OP is exuding this much infatuated obsession over Sara online, I can imagine that it is worse in real life... something that Sara might not realise is unhealthy until she also does some self reflection and recognises that this behaviour is wrong.
So, while you are correct with the possibility that Sara would have noticed and wouldn't dumped her friend- there's also a possibility that she doesn't really understand how deep OP's infatuation with her is. The fact that he fawns over her and is constantly complimenting her makes me cringe.
@@TiffWaffles oh you’re right. And also many women give such friends many chances so as not to be cruel. Something women are more often socialized to be responsible for others feelings. I was too quick in my opinion and also I realize she might feel safe/ok because he has a gf and not noticing his behavior...
The van story has a *VERY* easy fix. If they won't take no for an answer, kfine, it's apparent they're choosing beggars and *demand* your van without compromise, then all niceties are rescinded. Be the "good guy", and let them think they'll get it.
Then 1-2 days before they're supposed to leave, unplug the coil wire, or similarly pop the fuse for the ignition module. Then crank, and crank, and crank, and crank. "Whups, can't get it started. Needs to go to the mechanic."
What'll they do then? Demand you drop everything to get it fixed in time for their trip? "Sorry, I'm short on cash, gotta wait 'til *at least* next payday, and that's *IF* I have the bux to spend on a van I normally don't use."
A cooperative "mechanic" friend can come over and price it out as 700-800bux to fix. Then let them *GIVE* (not loan!) you the money to have it fixed, if they want it so badly.
No one can make you a doormat without your own permission.
OP should have gotten the son help the last time he went on a hunger strike. Now he knows he could manipulate his parents by going on a hunger strike.
If this was Florida, I wonder if he could be Baker Acted?
I swear the only reason I can actually listen to some of these "am I the idiot" stories is because of the commenters setting the OP straight🤦
100% make this his father's day gift.
This made me laugh so hard this man is a fool 😂.
They should have pressed charges against him for destrying the car.
Story 1: Imagine being 17 and giving your parents an ultimatum at all? I doubt I would have made it to the age I am today. He's 17, the cops would turn a blind eye if he got his ass beat. That is what he needs. IDC what anyone says.
Give the Brat Son some "Old School Learning"
I agree. I cannot fathom how 1. The stepbrother didn't give him a right kicking. 2. How the mother did not slap his face when he inferred she was a whore or 3. the step-brother didn't give him a second kicking. Not to mention the step-father.
nah he needed an actual parent. this shit doesn't happen overnight. Op let this shit go on and didn't want to do shit until it started causing issues with the new husband
I know someone who was a psychopathic narcissist from the age of 5, regardless of the parents trying to raise her right. Sometimes it's on the Parents (probably 90%+), sometimes there's nothing that they can do.
If they are trying to be proper parents, they should get the police involved NOW, while there's still a chance of turning him around.... Because later is going to really ruin the boy. And it's obvious that there will be a later.
@@Calories_To_Calibers oh please, what do you want OP to do? Or even her husband? Refuse the gift? First OP doesn't have that authority and second, I bet stepson mother would shut both husband and OP up, and she would be right. OP son is a brat, end of story. You're making a lot of assumptions, this may been first entitled act from him too, there is a first time for everything right? Or maybe stepson was smart to hide other gifts but you can't exactly hide a car.
The third story with the woman with a prosthetic had me laughing! I use glasses for driving, and the amount of people surprised that I use them surprise me! It's fairly common for people to need glasses. It's really not that uncommon to need support devices like hearing aids, contact lenses, glasses, prosthetics, wheelchairs, etc. I don't know why society makes a better deal over some than others.
also sometimes people are pretty sensitive about these things or why they have them, it's been only two months it's not like he married her and found out then.
what got me was the amount of YTA comments, OP has lost leg when she was three...THREE! she even said herself that what she can't remember a time she didn't have a prosthetics - it's normal for her. If the boyfriend had been dating someone with hayfever for 2 month in winter would people still complain that they should have told him?
Yes I know hayfever and prosthetics are totel diffrent, my point is why are people saying OP is an AH for not saying anything about a normal part of herself?
I don’t understand the YTA comment in the video. What do they expect? Them to be sitting in a movie and her to go, “can you pass the popcorn, oh by the way I have a prosthetic leg.”
and it's totally reasonable to not bring up something you see as completely normal and don't even really think about
its a big NAH
The boyfriend's reaction is the big red flag in that story. He acted like it was such a massive deal, like she had a violent criminal record. His hangups are his to deal with, and OP shouldn't be blamed for not wearing a sign that says "I have a prosthetic leg."
I refuse to believe this the first time your son is acted this way. You know exactly what kind of person he is figure it out before you release another a****** into the world
Story 1: The parents should give the teen who destroyed his stepbrother's car a timeout so he learns about consequences. /s
A timeout...in jail.
A timeout in jail after getting beaten into a pulp.
What he needs is a psych evaluation for his recent behavior and for not eating. A few weeks in patient could help.
1st Story- OP son is way too entitled, if he wants a car that bad he can ask his own father or get a job
Yeah, if I tried to pull half the crap OP's son did with my folks I'd have my head turned 360 like the freaking exorcist.
The kid had money saved. He could have asked his mom and stepfather to split the cost.
Van story: good they cam stay mad and go rent a van !!!!!!!! The nerve of some people 😒
Story 4: No good deed goes unpunished. OP has been extremely generous to just let them use the car but now they feel entitled to it and refuse to part with what is a MASSIVE privilege. You can bet OP will never try to do anything nice for other people after this experience.
Don't let them use the van for anything at any time any more. They can afford to go to Disneyland for two weeks, they can buy their own van. Neighbors that don't like it, can buy her a van themselves. Cut them all off.
No NTA, I would’ve called the cops on that little crap, I wonder what kind of upbringing did he have to think that he’s entitled to a new car justice because his stepbrothers’ father bought his son a new car for his birthday.
Story 1: nta the "favoritism" is all in the sons head. He needs to get some help cause that ain't right. Step sons mother gifted him the car and he expects the step family to pay for his too? That's ridiculous and I'm glad op paid the damages because that's damage to property and could land him in trouble with the law. And him throwing a middle finger and laughing just goes to show he's not mature enough to even be driving. He's 17 and he's acting like that?.
Op son will be in jail before he becomes 20 and for Op son sake I hope it because of a theft because thats the most minor thing I could think of
It’s not just that he’s immature. He sounds like a budding psychopath. He is manipulative, vindictive, entitled, and seems to care about no one but himself. I agree he will be in trouble with the law.
Also-OP didn’t pay for the damages-she took the money from her psychopath Son’s savings to pay them, so HE paid the damages.
He should be brought up on police charges so that maybe he will have a wake up call before it’s too late (if it isn’t already).
2nd Story: YTA. By what I read and heard from the OP's story sounds more like he is in LUST for Sara and is settling with Jane. And it sounds like Jane finally clued into what your true feeling about Sara and her are really like. I wouldn't be surprised if Jane left after that party. OP needs to get his head out of his A$$ and get to groveling if he hopes to in anyway save his relationship with Jane. And it may end up with no contact with Sara to do it.
Last Story: NTA. I love the idea the first commentor had. Rewrap the gift and give it to him for Father's Day or his birthday. If he has a problem with it just tell him since he gifted you a gift you had already told him you didn't want even though it was initially for his mom then he shouldn't have a problem getting it right back. But that is just my petty side showing a little bit.
Haven't you noticed how OP doesn't even seem to say anything nice about Jane outside of the fact that she's beautiful in her own way? OP is a huge creep obsessing about Sara. It sounds like he literally follows her around and fawns over her wherever she goes. Just because Sara is beautiful and goes to great lengths with her appearance and picks out what she wants to wear to make herself 'look perfect' doesn't mean she wants OP or creeps like him to fawn over her like she's a sex doll. He's giving me serious creep vibes.
Jane deserves a better boyfriend.
Seriously, how did she stay with him for 7 years or something like that??
Last story: the last commenter sounds like the kind of person would pull a stunt like this and then chime in with the “it’s the thought that counts” bit. Honestly, this person doesn’t think husbands should get the mother of their children a Mother’s Day gift for pushing a whole human out their Netherland?! Wow…just…wow!
Story 2: I don't even know what the issue is but I already know YTA. Bro is trying to convince everyone he isn't into Sara while his words and actions say otherwise. No wonder his fiancé is insecure around her. I have childhood female friends. Ask me how often I comment on their looks AT ALL beyond "you look great", let alone to the point someone can accuse me of "over complimenting".
Just the way hr talks about both women is disgusting
And then I got to the actual issue: "I couldn't stop complimenting her." Wjat an asshole.
Dude straight lusts over Sara right in front of his fiancé...and thinks that's NORMAL
When my GF (now wife) introduced me to her BFF I saw her coming down the street and quietly said to my GF, “I thought you said she was younger than you, but you look way younger.”
Ugh I read the one about the guy with the friend he was drooling over ..he is so stupid ..smh no matter what anyone says he disagrees and drools over Sara..smh . Even if his fiancee leaves him he won't understand what he's doing wrong he's got a total hard on for Sara
I would be sending a flyer around to those neighbours suggesting a whip around to buy that family their own van because you cannot afford to give them yours and they are all so generous
The story of the ramp van, You offered it to them, not them asking to use it. you should by basic common sense be able to revoke it. Unfortunately with entitled people (especially those with disadvantaged children), when you need it over them this shit happens
I suspect they were gonna try to wear op down and to sell the van to them for a cheap price or something
Story 2: So basically in the responses, he defends himself with "But Jane is always bitter around Sara" and explains that the dress Sara wore was basically...how to put it nicely...a dress that women around the highways could wear ("deep V neck, slit up her thigh, very sparkly"). I just hope Jane dumps him...
Ew... so, he just said that his best friend wears dresses that make her look like a prostitute... then fawns over her and says she's beautiful. He's sexually objectifying Sara. I hope both Jane and Sara dump him. Nobody deserves to be objectified like that. Nobody.
Omg. She wore that to someone else’s engagement party? Sarah definitely sounds like an attention seeker.
that's a dress for the bed chamber, but I guess she has no one for that because she's too much high maintenance or just fishing in the wrong pool
Story 1 . . . Almost adult . . . . That boys needs a huge wake up call and needs to be held accountable. I'd call the police and ha e him charged. He is a minor so his record will be wiped at adulthood. However if you don't act and act harsh and fast he will pull this shit as an adult and end up in jail.
The police should have been called. Your son should’ve been charged.
How did she hide it? People with prosthetic legs or leg walk with a limp! He would’ve noticed her limping with that leg.
YTA for not calling the police and letting him spend some time in jail.
How did the mom in the first story let their kid get this bad??? She needs to get him out of the house before he kills someone in that house!
2nd story: for someone who isn’t attracted to someone, they sure love to keep talking about how attractive they are! All he has is the audacity
They should have pressed charges on that kid in story one. He will never learn unless he has actual consequences and losing summer camp isn't it
I really want an update to the handicap-adapted minivan story. Usually when people unrelated to the incident become jaded it's because they have been told lies.
First stopry: OP needs to face the reality that it's her son who has the problem, not her stepson, or her husband, or husband's ex-wife. If your son starves himself into a hospital stay, it will only be more manipulation. OP needs to respond by placing him on at least a 72 hour psychiatric hold. The boy needs professional help, and as he is prone to violent and destructive behavior and self-harm, it may not be as an out-patient.
Mothers don’t place children on 72 hour psychiatric holds-doctors do. And only when they are a direct danger to themselves or others. She needs to bring him in for evaluation but you cannot just ask for a 72 h psych hold.
Wow. These people have nerve. I understand if they had no time to change their plans. You need to remind them of your deal. They can use it when your mom is there. Also tell the neighbor s if they think you bad then why don’t they all get together and buy them their own vehicle.
If it was me I would move I don't you don't need those people. And when you leave you leave a long letter of the truth and have your last sentence be I was kind enough to let them borrow my van. Didn't ask him for any money I'm paying for the insurance I have to pay for the wear and tear. Instead of being thankful they got entitled and felt they had the right for the van for their child over me having the van for my mother which is what it was bought for. And every one of you in abled this toxic entitled behavior. I will be sure to tell the new neighbors people beware this is not a good neighborhood when I leave.
The stepbrother should have had him arrested! You have raised a Brat, who feels entiled. 😢
Ha at the son giving the parents an ultimatum about his step brothers car. What a little jerk
Story 2: NTA.....People who are disabled, but don't physically show it (like, a wheelchair or something obvious) get terrified of being left by their partners for being disabled. I'm disabled, and lost so many potential partner's after the first two dates because they didn't like the fact I have Autism and ADHD and other physical limitations either.
People just hating on OP for being disabled at this point, it *IS* uncomfortable to talk about something like that, especially when you DON'T remember everything that happened to lose a full leg?
If you’re chilling out compliments and prays constantly to someone that you’re not marrying in front of the person you’re marrying And they get upset And you have to be told that they’re upset about it you are a moron and a terrible partner
If I was stepbrother, I'd call cops.
Or the psych ward and beg them for help that "my brother has an ongoing eating disorder" if the oversized brat refuses to eat.
Your husband should have called police and pressed charges Your son is an AH and if he ends up in hospital oh well He needs to learn boundaries
Story 1. I think that OP and her husband under-reacted. As they have camera footage the stepson can inform the police and have OP's son charged with vandalism and malicious damage.
You want a mother to rat out her kid to the police?
good idea. Let's see him mock and try to flip off the men in white.
The second story makes me want to barf. 🙄🙄🙄🙄 He literally lists all of the reasons how he's attracted to Sara and how he's not attracted to his own fiancée. I think he's in love with Sara but since they don't have the same life goals is the only reason he's not with her. 🙄🙄🙄🙄
I'd leave so fast if i were Jane.
First story- the quote Hank Hill “ that boy ain’t right”
Perfect solution: On Father's Day, wrap up the foot massager and give it to your husband.
Feel so sorry for jane get out. find someone who will whorship you and put u b4 any other woman
Okay about the disability hiding story. This is due to the fact most people will judge someone's disability or see them as just their disability. Which does happen.
My husband didn't tell me about his CP Cerebral Palsy. And I didn't find out till our first date.
I was a little mad. But not because he was disabled but because I told him point blank I'm autistic and he didn't mention his disability.
Once I learned of why he hid it. I understood why
yea but this isn't the first couple dates this is several months into dating, something this big should have been revealed after a couple dates at the latest.
@@theswedishdude1 Having seen how much one with a disability has to both hide and deal with.
It's not easy
I mean, yeah, it’s tragic that people use disabilities as an excuse to judge a person. But, this is a big part of OP. It’s not something small like having a weird fetish, she is literally missing an entire leg. That’s something you need to bring up much earlier than two months. How long was she planning on hiding this information before it was dramatically revealed?
And even if your story, your husband didn’t tell you before hand, but he still told you on the first date. That’s the same thing OP should have done.
@@H.P._Lovecrafts_Beloved_Cat While that's true I mean in terms of how these disabilities effect someone is the factor. With my husband it isn't too much. (Balance issues mostly) Something like a amputee it's something you have to deal with every day.
1st Story: If this is a real story, the 17year old male sounds psychotic. This 17 year old young adult is described as if he is irredeemable…
I would have called the cops immediately his savings would have been used to fix the car The other thing is he would be spending some time behind bars You're an adult now when you're out you will not be coming back to live with us so you better make arrangements to find a place to live you are a criminal now You're out of our house welcome to real life
The borrowed van: After listening to this story the old phrase "fair weather friends" came to mind.
Story 4: You lend a hand and they'll take the whole arm. The entitlement of these choosing beggars.
Story 1: press charges on your son. Yeah. I said it. Make him suffer consequences.
Story 1 OP's son is a INCREDIBLY HUGE AH
sounds like he's phobic about the leg now that he knows, and is using it as an out for him to distance from OP
OP’s son needs to get a grip, maybe try scared straight (never thought I would recommend that even as a joke)
I would never ever let them use my van again. Ever
"I couldn't stop raving about about Sara" and over clothes too!?!?!?!? Hahahahaha sounds downright creepy and unstable. What straight man acts like that too? Also lifelong best friends with a "fabulous, glamorous girl" too!!!! Hahahahaha
Story 1. What would is your son from to think he could make ultimatums a crazy comprises that didnt even make sense and to think not eating til he has to go to er is ok?? Did you never disciple him when he was little OP?? All the crap your son said is wrong and and truly he should have been punished by the police. Your taking his money to pay the damage he did is the consequences for him ruining the car. And if he decides to not eat, you should send him to hospital and for mental supervision.
I would ask the child if he would expect the same things a friend gets.
In the real world, people buy their way out atrocious and illegal choices every day. First OP's soon does need consequences, but that line of reasoning is definitely not the way to go about it.
From what the friends say, sounds like Sara does dress to get the attention. The friend should avoid inviting Sara to the wedding. Considering she showed up dressed over the top to an engagement party, a day meant for the couple, she may show up in a stunning wedding dress for the wedding. And even in this post OP is gushing to us about her looks and calls his fiancée (maybe ex) “unique”. Doesn’t gush over her just a simple unique. Then he spends ALL NIGHT telling Sara how good she looks. It sounds like he was near Sarah all night and left his fiancée alone at HIS friends party cause he didn’t even notice her crying. I feel so bad for Jane I hope she cuts and runs and recognizes her worth far exceeds this man. And Sara I think does want him cause she keeps dressing up and never tells him to stop, seems she encourages the behavior
Story 1: OP is not the A-hole, but her son is. She should let her husband press charges on her son. She should also make it clear to her son that due to his behavior he will never receive any help from any of you to buy a car. I'd pull his driver's license with the DMV. I'd make him get a job to pay for the rest of the damages. I'd also let him know that if he doesn't change his attitude he can move out the minute he turns 18. As a mother I'm furious with OP's son. If my daughter did that I would have pressed charges myself and she knows it. I would also do all OP did plus all I stated above. His phone would be gone. Any gaming systems he owned would be gone. He would feel the loss as a consequence of his actions.
S2- sounds like should get arrested. Why can't his father buy him a car.
Call the cops...document the damage...let the court handle his juvenile behavior and make him pay for the damages...this kid is out of control! It will only get worse, if unchecked...since when is gifting suppose to be fair...
When I was growing up. Men would tell me there's women you bang and woman you marry. OP wants to marry his fiancee. And has the hots for the friend. He needs to drop the friend or his fiancee needs to drop him.
Leg story
As in every story where OP is hiding something: YTA
In the 2 month they were dating, OP had ample opportunity to talk about her leg.
OP's son is so off base that he is floating somewhere out in space. OP did you always spoil your son and never teach him the word no?? And other Necessary things to have a normal human? I get it is hard to see stepson have things that he can't have but that doesn't give him right to make ultimates and destroy what he can't have. Half of me says police should have gotten involved. You didnt steal, you were making him pay for the damages he willfully did.Teen needs deep therapy.