@@JSainte17 there are several articles online that discuss this issue that you can google. Police officers have the highest in every article I read and get off the most as well.
Yep. Some of the stuff we deal with leaves scars. We see people at their worst. Sometimes the best we can do is make you comfortable so you can die without feeling any pain. It’s an exhausting, mostly thankless job we do. It does have good moments when you successfully guide Grandpa back from deaths doorway, or receive a hand drawn card from a little boy who came and got you because their dad fell down and couldn’t get up, and you successfully resuscitate his dad. There’s also bad moments too when you can’t save the patient. You get verbal abuse thrown at you and sometimes a patients family member will attack you. There is the agonized wails of a mother when you tell her their child is gone. We do get beaten down mentally over time. It’s why I write. There’s nothing better than opening the front door to a chorus of meows followed by a race to see who can reach the chair first, followed by a fight over who gets my lap first. (My cats) I am not defending the husband at all. I’m only giving a glimpse into our lives. OPs husband needs help and a less stressful job. (He’s not my coworker btw.) It also helps having the worlds cutest Pom on her rug waiting to give kisses and cuddles to us. She’s my hearing assistance dog.
Story 1: Re-heating dinner is not a chore, if he almost passed out because he doesn't want to reheat his own dinner is his fault for being lazy. If this is how he reacts to something so small then i don't want to imagine how he is with other things, hope OP leaves and gets help.
Him sitting in the living room after a night shift and supposedly nearly passing out from hunger sounds like he nearly fell asleep on the couch after a long shift...
When op leaves he has to reheat a meal he has to cook HIMSELF first 🤣🤣🤣. And of course all household shores. I bet he moved in with mommy after she left him collecting child support payments... such an idiot.
My husband used to wake me during the night to make him coffee. He didn't work and I'm chronically ill. Nothing wrong with him. It took me 30 years to get out. Get out now. He's only going to get worse. He's shown you who he is. Believe him
Story 1- it's a control thing. Expecting your partner to wake up immediately to prepare a hot meal for you at random times of the day because you refuse to reheat food, is a power mover to prove you are "the boss" of the house.
Definitely. It also shows he has no regard towards his wife and he'd rather wake her up in the middle of the night instead of simply take the meal out of the fridge and put into the microwave or oven. Does he expect her to take off his shoes, put on his PJ's and push the toilet button?
"She was young and made mistakes." Ummmm... NO. It was only ONE YEAR ago that she told her daughter the truth and told her not to tell "dad" because then their cash cow would leave them. GROSS.
Everytime I hear the "they were young and made mistakes" line I always think then why didn't the betrayed partner cheat? Also 3 people isn't a mistake it's a series of bad decisions.
Fucking disgusting mother-daughter pair, complicit in their alliance to fleece money out of this guy eternally. Hope he finds a loving woman who won't be terrible.
It’s worse than that. The wife never gave a duck about her husband. If she did she would have had a kid for him. She also poisoned her daughter against him her whole life. With the icing on the cake of telling her after her 18th birthday and to keep using him for money. My suggestion is use the daughter to get out of the marriage to the banshee. Then offer family counseling for him and the now “stepdaughter” to heal. She refuses then cast her aside as well. I hope OP is young enough to find another woman that will love him and give him the Family he deserves.
@@RobDaCajun IMO there is NOTHING more evil than a woman who lies to a man claiming a child that isn’t his (or might not be) is his. Also, it’s evil to do to the actual father as you’re depriving him of his kid. I swear if only men could get pregnant, we’d have so many laws in place. The least of which being mandatory DNA testing at birth. Can you imagine a woman being told her bf is pregnant and society telling her she’d better not even question it, otherwise she’s an AH? Even if it means 18+ years of emotional and financial support. Not to mention the damage it does to the kid. Never in a million years would we as women tell each other to take a man at his word because not doing so is toxic. It’s laughable.
OP needs to protect his assets (with an attorney if necessary) ASAP. Change the beneficiaries for life insurance, 401k or anything else. Take half of any existing joint accounts funds and put them into the new acct. Cancel all credit cards. The wife or daughter shouldn't be on anything. If they're using cars that are in your name, sell them. I wouldn't give the daughter anything, she is a mirror image of that wraith of a wife. She was an adult when she was told and she went along with the dishonesty. Neither of them love OP, so rip that bandaid off now. Block the in-laws on the phone. I wouldn't block the wife or daughter since anything they say in text can be used against them in court. You don't have to answer the texts, you're just gathering evidence. Maybe someone else knows: can he legally disown her?
I've worked a rotating shift for the 1st 10 years of my marriage. When I came home at 2 3 or sometimes 5 am I made my own food and didn't disturb my sleeping wife. That husband is a complete a hole.
I work nights and it's not unusual for me to leave the home at 6pm and not get home until 7am. I don't come home and wake my husband up to be my personal butler or whatever. It's not that hard to make your own food. Hell, I'll make dinner for the evening, walk the dogs, do dishes/laundry, and go work out before bed. Lazy mf, he thinks his wife is his slave.
Look, I am a bit allergic to rabbits myself. I find it interesting that you think that moving the rabbit outside will solve the problem. The rabbit hair is in the house. It's skin cells, sneezes, and other bodily functions have happened in the home. The home will never be rabbit free, even with the rabbit gone. Plus, your daughter will be spending lots of time outside away from the family with her rabbit. This will cover her in rabbit stuff. Every time she comes back into the house she will bring the allergen in. It will get back in her room, on the sofa, across the carpet...everywhere. The boy will swell up just walking anywhere near her. This will not end well for OP Your daughter will be crushed, because your solution won't solve the issue. The rabbit will have to go permanently, and the house will have to be cleaned, and steamed, the furniture, all clothing, bedding, rugs may need replacing. Your daughter will lose out completely. Your step son will never be free from it in this house. You will have to get rid of a beloved pet, and move to a new home. Preferably one that has never had pets live in it. When your daughter moves out, she will get pets, and your stepson will never be able to be around her again. This is a disaster.
Well sounds like his daughter will have to wear a hazmat suit when visiting her bunny. Than she can leave it in the barn and come back in allergen free.
Anger issues amongst Emergency workers is more common than people think. Burnout, compassion fatigue and PTSD can sneak up on you without realising it. The husband really needs to talk to someone about it. In the service that I work for, I had more friends who’ve quit or ‘died early’ than I currently have friends on the job.
The deaf story: my fiance is English, I am Norwegian. I am also half deaf (completely deaf in my left and half deaf in my right) I use a hearing aid but it isnt the same. My fiance is not only learning Norwegian but he is, very slowly, Learning British sign language and Norwegian sign language. A person who loves you WILL do it! My partner would NEVER ask me to get a cochlear implant
It's embarrassing how so many hearing people automatically think that deaf people are missing something and would be better with implants. That's like saying that people that can't read Latin are inferior to those that can. People need to butt out and let others communicate how they want to.
@@lorisewsstuff1607 I've heard people say how """amazing""" it'd be to have deafness in the past and not need sign language anymore and it's honestly so disgusting. One, because a lot of deaf people don't need to be "cured", two, because wanting to eradicate a whole subculture is just gross af, and 3, because sign language is really important for other conditions. Like some autistic people that have selective mutism actively prefer to sign even when they could talk.
I honestly think that sign language should be taught in elementary school. I took a class in college and loved it. I really should get back into it and use it more often.
I can see both sides. The fact is, she's asking him to compromise by agreeing to do exactly what she wants. It's not a compromise if one person gets everything they want and the other person gets nothing. But the surgery is her choice, so I think what we have is just an incompatibility, with no assholes here
as a person with severe rabbit allergies, (lets just say I had to quite a job over allergies before I found the correct medications) First, look into allergy therapy/shots for the boy, Look into reducing any carpeting in the home and let your daughter know that she will need to help step up with limiting the areas the rabbit visits, and the remainder of the house to help eliminate allergens that could be transferred on her clothing, etc.
Story 3: NTA Oh boy, i see why the stepdaughter is so horrible. DON'T TAKE THEM BACK, stepdaughter only told you the truth because she was angry and told too munch, she would had never told you otherwise, she told you she only saw you as a wallet, believe her. Stop contacting all of your ex-wife's family and friends, they don't have your best interest in mind.
I think maybe the daughter has known longer than she admits to. She admitted that she only sees OP as an ATM and not a father. Well, who does she see as a father?
She stopped treating OP like a father, father figure or even family long ago. She sees OP as her mom's husband and atm. That's not going to change anytime soon. If it does it has to be on her end. NTA. Lawyer up, divorce the wife and cut them off. Any future communication needs to go thru the lawyers.
What I don't understand is if he always used protection why didn't he suspect back then that the baby might not be his?? If I was a guy that always used protection and then my SO gets pregnant I might be a little suspicious. I like how the mother tells the daughter ,because she deserves to know the truth, but doesn't feel the need to do the same with the husband.
I would be telling the ILs that they should have raised their daughter better. Since the "daughter" wants to go with "Your not my dad" then I have no problem pushing her toward the curb as well.
People acting like the dude is disowning his child for a new wife and son. He literally made multiple attempts to compromise and there was no other way than to move the rabbit into the backyard, and in its own house instead of a cage. Like they expect him to abandon people he wanted to have as family just because his daughter can't bear walking outside; because clearly that's a worst outcome than having a child die from a known allergy.
The sad truth is that too often people drop their children from the first marriage/relationship for the new one. Or abuse them mentally/physically. Or let the new family roll all over the old one. That is why people react to these stories rather strongly. And to be honest, they didn't even visted once before marriage and moving in? So weird. And now his daughter has to accommodate because his new family because they never even tested living together before tying the knot, which feels like the daughter got steam rolled there as well and ignored because op horny.
For the rabbit allergy they did not try to switch hay variety before going to this drastic step, or try allergy medications, or try high powered air filters. Sure they tried some fixes before jumping to dumping the rabbit outside for a fox to get a tasty meal, but it was a half hearted effort.
The allergy is so severe that the stepbrother's throat starts closing. That is a serious, and potentially fatal, allergy. It's not an allergy to hay, but the rabbit, itself. And that "YTA" comment about making the stepbrother and stepmother go live elsewhere, that's the most childish and ridiculous tripe I think I've seen in about six months worth of these videos (well over 300 stories). That commenter is likely the daughter, and it shows.
They never even tried living together before marrying each other and actually test if they are compatible to do so. That would have been best too for the sake of his daughter to get used to a potential stepmother. Additionally they would have found out about the allergy at the first visit. And if the allergy is so bad than the hair on ops daughter should have caused something when see ops new family. OPs daughter lost her mother, probably got steamrolled with a step family and now loses her beloved pet. Hope OP never will be surprised if daughter resents him, he should have seen it coming.
I have a feeling the stepson didn't know he was allergic to rabbits before entering the house... I didn't know I was allergic to salmon until I was in my 20s and I had been allergic all my life. We just never realized that's why I was getting sick.
They never tested living together before marrying, only long distance. Pretty sure they did that extra to steamroll the daughter and not really give her a chance in anything.
My god, I would NEVER marry a man who had such a terrible attitude towards my 7 year old son. If that woman chooses to still marry a man like that, she needs to lose custody and allow him to go live with his dad. I have practically raised my stepson and since I've had my younger son, I've made a concentrated effort to make sure he sees that I still love him just as much as my younger son.
No it's not even hate it's a total lack of feelings the daughter only got angry when he refused to do his function as an ATM. But I feel that is so much worse than hate
The most frustrating thing about the bunny story is more to the fact that neither of the parents lived together for an extended period of time before they got married. It's really important to live together as a couple, especially when you have kids. I think that's one of the most important things you need to make sure you're compatible on, because of issues like this. I think op just used a shortcut because he had already been in a relationship with his wife previously and that's why he didn't bother doing this, not realizing that people can change years down the road.
Plus how little did they talk about their kids? Like how do you not mention how much your daughter loves her bunny? Or how the bunny has his own room in the house? Then they could have had a conversation about how this relationship will work out. Plus dude is willing to hurt his daughter for his new woman. I look forward to the my daughter hates her new mom and brother post in a few years
@Gi Gi if that kids allergies are that bad the bunny shed won’t be a viable solution for long, OP’s daughter will come into the house covered in bunny allergens every time she spends time with the bunny.
@@muhname6052 Considering OP´s update, I got a feeling that not even his stepson could foresee that he would get that severe reaction to the bunny. Or that he even knew he was allergic to rabbits at all.
The OP in this story is a major idiot. "We didn't have the option." Yes, they had the option. They could have waited and most probably should have. What was the rush? "OMG!!! You can move in now. Run! Run! Get your stuff in here ASAP!!!" It takes awhile for 4 people to get to know each other. This is just the first problem OP is seeing. Good luck. They're going to need it. I feel sorry for the kids and bunny.
@@bluesapphire4262 Agreed. It's possible that nobody even had any idea at the start of it. I found out that I'm severely allergic to jet fumes after working at an airport last year. It took a week of exposure to build up in my system, but it sent me to the hospital in an ambulance. I stayed there for 8 days after I was diagnosed with having had a complex/complicated migraine (migraine with stroke-like symptoms, according to the doctor). Since then, I've had more migraines than I've ever had in my entire life. Beforehand, I'd thought that I wasn't allergic to anything. Still, I'd say that OP and his wife are AHs for not waiting to marry. Trial runs with living together are always best, for a number of reasons. Now, things will be much, much harder on everyone.
The future stepdad sounds like my ex-father, who resisted my stepmother’s attempts to include me when they had kids since he wanted to focus on his “current family”. I was good enough to be invited to some family events if my aunts asked about me, or if they were gift giving occasions for the half siblings, but not good enough to have a room (they needed it for overflow from the siblings’ rooms), a place to sleep besides the couch, or a place on family trips. I remember the time they all came home from a cruise bragging about the 2 for 1 jewelry sale they’d found in the Bahamas and “the whole family got one!”, then handed me a dried out souvenir chocolate ship with an expiration date a few months past as a thank you for watching their pets, and how a few months later they called me to watch the pets while they went on their 4th cruise in about three years. It was just too expensive to bring people outside of the family as ex-father put it. I cut contact when it became clear I would always be second string family at best, and didn’t speak to him again. He’s since died and, frankly, I feel and felt nothing other than missing my stepmother and half brothers, who were all too good for him. Talk about a shitty way to treat a kid when you make new and better ones. Dude needs to date women who aren’t moms.
Wow when the stepparent is nicer than your own parents. Still wasnt right wgat they did to you. Luckily there are two familys in a persons live: the one we are born into and the one we choose :)
OMG, do I even need to count the amount of red flags the first story has? Seriously this guy could work long hours but he can’t spend a couple minutes reheating his food in a microwave? Are you kidding me? And that’s story on the wife and daughter. People like the daughter really bring out the worst in step kids. And honestly the daughter sounds horrible not just insulting the father but spreading lies about people. Wow I can see where she gets the lies from, like mother, like daughter.
Story 1: People who stay at home also work. They take care of household tasks, and if there are any dependents, young, old, or disabled, they take care of them. People who do their own housework and care giving work hard. Making a bunch of meals ahead is a great way to lighten the work load. Making one big batch of food takes less time, energy, and clean up than making a bunch of smaller meals over the course of the week. This is one of the reasons why I like leftovers. Any adult claiming to be unable to reheat food, or claiming that it's your job to do it because you are the family house keeper, while they work at a"real" job, is just doing a power play. Being the family house keeper is a "real" job. I live alone, and have multiple health issues that make it hard for me to do some of the house work. A few times a year I have someone in to give my place a thorough cleaning. The rest of the time I do what I can around my place, and use a grabber to reach for things too high, too low, or too far. I also use an office task chair with wheels in the kitchen, so I can easily manuever around the room while doing chores and food prep. I use a rolling walker when walking, and I put a cardboard box on it's seat so I can haul lots of stuff around my apartment, as needed. Because of my health issues I tire easily, but my disability audz--and caffeine help me get more done than I would without them. So yes, doing housework is "real" work whether you are healthy or disabled. It uses time, energy, and effort, and it needs doing. That's a pretty basic definition of work. Since hubby is an arrogant, anti equality jerk, OP really needs to seriously consider ending this relationship. He sees OP more as a sub human servant or slave. If OP doesn't want to be treated that way, then she will need to end the relationship.
He's telling her in advance he plans to keep the kid at a distance. So she has that info. If she goes ahead with marrying the guy, she'll be the idiot.
I second this. Coming from someone who is allergic to the only mammal you can be anaphylacticly allergic to, a horse, this sounds like it's more like a dust, or whatever shavings they probably use for the bunny's pen or litter, allergy
@@helema23 Maybe reaching a bit, but what if the daughter spends time with the rabbit outside and the other son *still* has allergy problems? Then it's going to be bye bye bunny, which will likely send the daughter downhill. Even if the daughter can get a friend to house him, her contact with him could still send the other kid into allergy mode. I feel like this is something that the daughter will really resent OP for. It's going to show her that her needs will come second, even if that's not the intent. BTW, OP was a complete moron to not live together with the wife or have more of a trial period of 6 mos or more in order to gauge a number of things before getting married and then them moving in. Like, what if the two just don't get along as step siblings? One of them can't be "re-housed" (or can they?). Maybe I'm making a mountain out of a molehill, but these are the kind of things that fester resentment and LC/NC later on.
I work between 10-12 hours a night. I would *kill* for a meal that just needs reheating that's not been made on my one available day by me or come from a box. That dude deserves to be single.
Yep - loads of ppl come home after a long hard day and have to organise and cook their own meals and yet somehow survive. Ild be happy if someone had shopped to make sure there was food in the house. People need to get a grip.
I've been watching your videos for a while. IMO you have the best voice out of all the AITA channels. I love listening to you and how sometimes you laugh. You deserve so many more subscriber's.
Stay at home also don’t have job sercurity that some other jobs do, they don’t get benefits like 401k and don’t get vacation days even though they are entitled to just like any other career. Stay at home mothers in particular are at a high risk for being left out in the cold because of the employment gap. People who think stay at home parents isn’t a job are also the type to think you “babysit” your kids when it’s your turn to watch them.
That mindset right there is what has people scoffing. SAHMs don’t work harder than most jobs. Miss me with that. Do they work hard sure but don’t even try to put on the same level as other jobs.
@@itazuranakisu No job has half the security as a stay at home mom. If the partner wants to "fire" you, you get half the company in the divorce. Got any jobs that do that?
The 3rd story, I am so sick of people referring 18/19 year olds as children. Children can't move out on their own or go to college/university. The entitled daughter isn't his daughter. He doesn't have to do anything for her. He has to cut his soon to be exes family off, including his "step-daughter". It makes me sick that his exes parents are blaming him and telling him to take their daughter back, that the cheating was a mistake it was years ago. No, we all know that cheating is not a mistake, she cheated because she was desperate and couldn't bother to keep her legs shut. She deserves to be kicked out. She proved that she was only with him for his money, along with her daughter. They are both gold diggers. I feel for OP, I really do but I do think that he needs to kick the daughter out as she is not his problem anymore. And block anyone who calls to harass him his ex and her daughter. OP is NTA.
YES YES YES - I was going to say just this. Not only is cheating NOT a mistake, she cheated with three different guys during the conception period without using protection. Who knows how many before and after. A single time MIGHT be considered a mistake, maybe they could move past that.
The story about the soon to be stepfather who wants his stepson to be "separate" from his real family: I honestly think your fiance would be the AH if she actually marries you.
Rabbit story - I understand the boy didn't show signs of his allergy right away - sometimes that happens (allergies take an exposure to activate, then become a problem). I understand that it was hard for them to spend time together ahead of time, but that is one of my two big problems. If OP had been more interested in blending a family that getting someone in his bed, this wouldn't have happened. The other problem is that keeping a pet rabbit outdoors is known to shorten it's life. I really hope that shed's not just a great enclosure, but is a good spot for daughter to visit her support and comfort.
As the child of a widower, I think it's awful to assume he was just trying to get someone in his bed. The son may not have spent much time in the house for it to be revealed, they could have met up in neutral areas or at the stepmom's house, he could have spent a lot of time in his bio dad's custody. When my dad started dating we only saw his girlfriend's son about once every months or so, and that was only after she moved in with us. He didnt go near our rooms or to everywhere in the house. Most of the time when he came over we went outside or just stayed in the living room. As for the rabbit, it sounded like the dad wanted the daughter to help him pick out stuff for her rabbit. Considering they converted her whole walk in closet for her pet, why should we assume he's going to skimp out now? It sounds far more likely he wanted to be as fair as possible to his daughter and her companion.
Story: "So you can't walk to the fridge, place the food on your plate, and heat it up in the microwave? That's what you're saying?" That's the way I'd respond to anybody telling me such a dumbass story or anything of the sort like that with the most emotionless/sarcastic tone.
I’m sorry the story with the bunny is wtf? “That poor bunny will have to live outside”? You mean like every single other rabbit on the entire planet? If it were mild allergies like a runny nose itchy eyes take some Benadryl and get over it, but swelling eyes and throat? That’s life threatening. It’s not like he jumped straight to “let’s put the damn thing to sleep” what is wrong with people. My husband has asthma and the cat hair made it harder for him to breathe. We compromised and built a Catio outside our window and my cats LOVED it, they had grass and a view outside and in extreme weather they got to come in.
I don’t agree with the “if you have a runny nose, just take Benadryl”, cause the medicine can just not work if he takes it too much. But I agree with everything else!
Cochlear implant - my deaf niece got one as an adult. It did not work and she lost even the tiny bit of hearing she had in that ear. She decided against trying with the other ear. They are amazing bits of tech, but not 100%. I do not blame OP for being wary. Niece is married to a normal hearing guy and they have four non-deaf kids.
My sister was deafened and had used hearing aids for the majority of her life. A cochlear was suggested, but at the time she had to have MRI every six months. Since the implant requires magnets, she would have to have them removed every time she had an MRI it was determined to not be feasible. I spoke to one of her friends who did have the implants and needed an MRI, and he was wondering why the techs refused to do the MRI and I pointed out that he had metal that could attract magnets in his head. Plenty of people who have the implants have mentioned that they needed to train their brains to interpret sounds, and they started out hearing. I can't imagine what it would be like for an adult who never heard suddenly having to train to understand others.
Sister is deaf and had cochlear since she was a child, she suffers a lottt the implant definitely is a serious decision it comes with a lot of problems, so it’s definitely not some “cure”.
My son is hearing impaired and can vocalize a little but not verbalize. Know what I did right away? Downloaded a sign language app and began learning. I take daily lessons, then teach them to my wife. We all 3 are learning together.
I'm so sick of people saying their just kids. she's not a kid. she knew exactly what she was doing and wanted to hurt op. stop talking to both of them.
Story one: you know, reddit is quick to say "break up" or "divorce" but.. yeah. I'd have gone to that myself. You aren't a servant, and he isn't five. Is he working overtime to provide for you and the baby? Maybe. Is he being a dick? Yes. In your story, he doesn't once come off as caring about you or the kid at all, aside from making money.
3. Story: NTA I really love how some evil monster like the wife is able to call OP "cruel" if those people want the wife and daughter supported they themself can go support them
It's not jumping in. It's after meet-ups, a good amount of time, and marriage. The last is something the children have the ability to comprehend and a really good landmark for them to understand that life will change.
Story 3: holy shit. His wife is a massive gold digger and his daughter is a massive tool. That said, OP and his ex don't seem like they did that great at parenting the daughter.
Yeah…he needs to stop all contact. And reevaluate his relationship with his daughter who sees him as a wallet. Oof, I want an update. Even though op is the victim, he’s probably gonna be on the hook for Child Support and alimony unless there was a prenup. I’m female and am of the opinion that everyone should have a prenup, not bc they don’t trust their partner, but as insurance if the unexpected happens. With life insurance (or any type of health insurance really) you don’t EXPECT the worst, you just leave yourself with options in case the worst happens and you cover that potential future. If there’s no cheating/paternity fraud, then the prenup will never be needed. It’ll just be a document in the either. But I would rather have it and not need it, then need it and not have it and be financially screwed, regretful and bitter. Same with DNA tests, dudes can never know, and as I female, I myself can never truly understand that fear, but I CAN emphasize. This needs to be a law… I REALLY hope OP had a prenup…otherwise the gold digger can screw him over (if she finds and can afford a slimy lawyer). I need updates
@@bribri2925 yup, but also, if the daughter decides to work with him.... and.... i thought the "they didnt raise her well" but then remembered my buddies sister acting this way, till she realized backing mom was a bad move and that mom was genuinely a horrible person..... (genuinely IS a horrible person to be more accurate....), after she admitted what mom told her to dad, not quite like this but.. why she had been acting cold and so...different for months...he called a few of us friends and we talked it over with him... hung out... he didnt boot the daughter but the ex was sent on a trip to visit her sister and came back to find she had been moved to her brothers bar, hes the only local family who had a place they were willing to house her... her parents helped him get full custody they told me "cheaters always cheat, and we didnt raise our kids like that" none of her siblings are cheaters... turns out she is his, but the brother is not.. hes the fathers cousins kid... who was pissed she covered up that she KNEW it was his... his ex ended up owing support to him and the kids, after what the daughter helped provide proving she never wanted kids and only had them to lock dad down so she could be a SAHM... who didnt do anything at home she could avoid.
A note on the Cochlear Inplants - most hearing people don’t view the deaf community as a separate culture the way deaf people do. Many in the deaf community views the implants as destroying the deaf culture while many hearing people view it as a “solution” to a “problem”. In regards to learning sign language, sadly not even all parents of deaf children bother to learn. I don’t get it, personally, but I grew up exposed to the deaf culture between having a hearing schoolmate with deaf parents and growing up near Gallaudet University so I learn to admire and respect the deaf community.
Call me crazy, but even if someone had a cochlear implant wouldn’t it be wise to learn sign language for safety/backup reasons? What a ridiculous hill to die on.
Have you even taken your stepson to a doctor to make sure it's the rabbit, and not something else? I only ask b/c OP didn't use any common sense before moving in the new family; the father's rights have nothing to do with how OP mishandled the situation.
Hold up hold up hold up a man changing things to have his step kid comfortable makes him a idoit...... but a step dad that put a kid at arm length is also bad...... that said alot.
I swear, the Redditors like this have their heads screwed on backwards and shoved up their own butts... at least the dad in the rabbit story didn't jump straight to rehoming bunny! And to be honest, if I was a rabbit, the set up of that bunny barn would make me jealous!
I think the stepdad pointing out that the kid already has a dad is in the right. I really can't stand the stories where the stepparents try to take over the role and push the bioparent out. Or overrule the bioparent on rearing the child. To me, him being seen as an uncle figure is just fine, especially if biodad is financially secure to pay his part.
In each story their decisions negatively effects someone else. Bunny negatively effects daughter due to them not even thinking about testing cohab before moving in together. Also imagine if instead of a rabbit it was a small dog, an animal she has with her 24/7 is now contained outside. Worse step father: won't even put in the emotional energy for a child he will be living with, he is entering the relationship saying: I'm going to make it clear I consider this boy an unfortunate bonus to my wife
@@FearMyLadyBits Exactly. Stepdad was being pretty reasonable and had the obviously thought this through well in advance. Not one consideration was ever mentioned regarding how the biological father might feel if another bloke was trying to satisfy the role as a primary male role model. This whole horseshit about how stepdad should be fully expected to step up is a true sign of the times. Hope he makes an exit plan. Crap like this needs push-back.
Last story: Sign language actually qualifies as another language. You can actually get a real job as a sign language translator or interpreter. It can be fun to learn and use other languages. I took German for 3 years in high school around 4 & ½ decades ago, and I can still speak a little of it. I sometimes watch foreign language movies, TV shows, and other videos in languages that I don't know. I "read" the body and facial expressions of the actors, along with reading the subtitles, and do a pretty good job of understanding what's going on. When my several years older sister was taking Spanish in school, she would sometimes have me help her with her vocabulary studies, so I actually learned a little bit of Spanish vocabulary, and still remember some of it decades later. Several decades ago there was a historical novel called Shogun, about Japan that was made into a TV mini series, with Richard Chamberlain as one of the leads. It used both English and Japanese, and I still remember a little Japanese from the show. Several decades ago I watched part of a historical fiction movie that I think took place in central America or Mexico. The dialog was all in Spanish, but even though I couldn't understand the dialogue, I wasn't having any trouble understanding the movie. I have one great regret regarding that movie, and that's that I don't remember it's name. The movie had started very late, so I got too tired to watch the whole thing. Ever since then I've been kicking myself for not remembering the name of the movie. I was enjoying it, but now I'll never know the rest of the story.😞 For those who may think that I have strayed off topic, this time I don't think I have. I've been trying to make the point that learning other languages can be fun and helpful. I used examples from my own life to help make my points. Sorry OP that your boyfriend doesn't see the benefits of learning sign language. Maybe you could try pointing out to him that it would be like the two of you having your own secret language, as most people don't know sign language. Cochlear implants aren't for everyone, as not everyone wants to take the risks involved. Also, in your case ywent deaf after learning to speak, and can read lips, so you have a viable alternative. As for wanting an alternative to always texting, I have big fingers, so using the tiny keyboard display on my phone is always a challenge. Fortunately, I only use it to post comments online, not to actually directly text people. I am a loner, so most of my outside contacts are family or businesses. My family and I aren't really into texting, and I prefer phone or voicemail contact with businesses. Also, I recently started getting a lot of spam texts, so I finally turned off the text message app on my phone. I decided to keep it though, in case I should ever want to use it in the future. It's so nice to not have to deal with anymore spam texts.
When spouse got transferred around middle America, I was surrounded with conversations that were pretty much exclusively babies, trains, and high school football. I took foreign languages to keep my mind from turning to mush.
linguistics is *so bloody cool* and really important. my oma and opa are from holland so I want to learn at least a bit of dutch, and I care about how celtic I am and am trying to learn scottish gaelic so the language doesn't die. sign language would be so useful because sometimes talking with our voices isn't the best way to communicate in some situations, like in a noisy place or if you get selective mutism. when I was in highschool I was learning how to write hiragana and katakana and while I don't speak japanese I genuinely really enjoyed writing with completely new alphabets. I find it so fun to write with different characters from the ones in english that I've written a few things in ogham and want to continue doing so. I also want to learn how to write korean characters at least a bit, too. I'm also australian and find different accents and dialects so fascinating, and how different slang is in different countries and how it reflects attitudes of the people and even a part of its history. like aussie accents are so unique because of the kinds of people grouped together, same as america, and canada, and it's _so so interesting_ . and!!! and linguists have talked about how language has evolved because of the internet, how we often write without care for conventional grammar so that we can better communicate tone, and they've talked about emojis seriously as a part of that and its SO COOL
#1 NTA Using a microwave is a chore? Leave him everything necessary for a salad. It's healthy. And it won't be a chore. You need counseling for his abuse.
I’m a little confused about the rabbit story? If the kid has a really bad allergy isnt it common sense to move the thing causing the allergy? It’s putting the pet outside, if he’s actively trying to find something nice to have the pet live in than thats better than most parents who’d simply throw it out? Like it’s not as if the dude was simply throwing it outside to the wolves, he was trying to find and make a shelter for the bunny? I just need some clarification? I’m not trying to sound rude to the child but he’s trying and I dont know if she was seeing that or if she like many of the commenters were seeing it as a family issue?
Last story: I think that what OP "heard" when he told her to get a cochlear implant rather than him learning to sign, was that he is not satisfied with her the way she is. He wants her to change for him, have surgery, take all the risks that surgery involves, including the possibility of failure, when all he has to do is learn a new skill.
1) that wasn't why OP was even mad at the suggestion so why are you adding details that weren't ibcluded. 2) so it's okay for OP to not be satisfied with him and change him to suit herself?
@@gaywerewolf1294 cochlear implants do have risks as any surgery do, and is very disruptive to deaf people who are already used to living while deaf while having mixed outcomes when done to adults born deaf (adults born deaf will not have developed auditory pathways which makes successful outcomes less likely) and is a major cost and continuing expense requiring lifetime adjustment. Its a major decision that is done after an interview process and assessments to determine viability of the procedure due to the major effort involved, not something to be suggested by a boyfriend who doesn't want to bother with learning his girlfriend's language since it seems too hard. If he doesn't want to learn communicating with her then it probably will not work out and he can date someone else, but the change to learn ESL is significantly less than her having surgery and adjusting to cochlear implants which may not even improve her quality of life.
Kicked Cheatin Ex and Daughter out- You stop talking to the family, and NO THAT DAUGHTER IS A GROWN WOMAN. Have your lawyer draft Cease and Desist document to your Ex Wife's family, and since they are all so concerned about Your Exe and her Daughter they should take them in and if they DON'T take them in, they are monsters.
I feel so sorry for children sometimes. They have to go along with whatever new marriage their parents have decided to enter. Their worlds get turned upside down, and NOBODY ever asks them their opinion about anything. They are just expected to adjust to the "new house", "new mom or dad" "new brother's or sister's" etc. Now, your daughter is expected to give up her pet rabbit because her "new step-brother" is allergic. I don't know what the correct answer is, I just feel really sorry for your daughter.
geeeeez, my husband works 3pm to 1am and omg he comes home and never asks me to make anything, he will pop something in the microwave or reheat what I made for me and the kid. Grown men acting like a woman has to do every little thing. I could never be with a partner like that.
Signing learning :- about 10 years ago, took a 2 year course in BSL. I was terrified at first, as I had no experience of deaf/hard of hearing people and what they went through. However, as well as a profoundly deaf indtructor, we also had a "normal hearing" instructor, who was an immense help until we managed to start undestanding and using the signing. I felt that the actual signing was almost like "dancing with your hands and fingers"! Your partner should also remember that he has his own private tutor....namely YOU, OP. NTA.
Why didnt she get that implant as a child? I just dont get why so many deaf-people are so eager to not integrate. They rather hold therie children back and than "losing" them to the heraring people. Its a real problem. Also her idea of a compromise is to get it her way 100%? But dont get me wrong, i dont understand why he doesnt want to learn sign either
@@Schwiegermutter It wouldn't have been her choice then back when she was a kid, but as a 24 year old adult who has always been deaf cochlear implants will have a significantly lower chance of success and effectiveness now, and will require significant cost and adjustment on her part for what may or may not improve quality of life. Her having to go through surgery and lifelong adaptation to cochlear implants which is a drawn out process is a lot more impact to her life and effort than him learning ESL (which his justification for not doing is he feels it might be too hard).
Honest question here: why do people think it’s “cruel” to kick cheating, gold digger partners out of your house? Naw OP NTA, but seriously ya, stop talking to your ex in laws.
Last story: I met my husband online. He is ESL. For the first part of our relationship, we typed as he wasn't that comfortable speaking in English. During that time I learned some of his language. I'm still not great at it, but honestly the way his face lighted up when I was able to order in his language when visiting him in his country was worth it. OP's BF should want to learn his GF's language to be closer to her. They are only 5 months in and he's already trying to change her so that he doesn't have to learn another language. Like, yah, learning sign language won't be easy, but like, learning 100 different words in sign language is a low bar and would greatly improve their communication with each other so much. She isn't asking him to be fluent, she's asking him to try, and he can't even meet that far. She shouldn't waste any more time on that relationship.
Yeah having risky and unwanted brain surgery is the same as learning a language, what a butt. And i have heard many deaf people say that choclear implants have their drawbacks and it’s not really the same as what a hearing person experiences. Also I don’t know if an adult could just go to an implant when they have never had one, that part of their brain has never experienced hearing and it may not even really work like it would when a little kid gets one. That brain plasticity is not nearly the same as an adult as it is as a small child.
S1)Reason number 9999 why I'll never become a stay at home wife/mother ... No amount of love would make me put up with that disrespectful, demeaning, immature man wow.
Honestly I don’t think the guy whose is setting boundaries on being a stepdad is TA. It’s not like he’s going to mistreat him and he doesn’t have to step into the big financial role because the kids dad is in the picture. He’s just letting her know what he’ll be comfortable doing and nothing is wrong with that cause really the kid isn’t his
@@SnowyWolborg it honestly is. And that’s without mentioning the attitude and back talk that comes a stepparents way. Now this man want to set his boundaries and not overstep like some SP do they want to criticize him for that
There really should be anti cuckoo laws to protect fathers tbh. It's really unfair to trick a man into providing for a child that isn't his, by convincing him that they are biologically related. Both partners should always be aware of their relationship to their children because it has a big impact on the medical history of the kids as well as the emotional well being of the parents. It's good for people to take care of kids that aren't theirs of course--but they should be aware of their relation or lack thereof, especially if it will affect their parenting or life.
Like, if a dude would rather leave if the child isn't his, I don't think it's wrong for him to bail even if it sucks for the child. He should be given that choice. Not tricked into caring for the cuckoo child by being told it's totally his.
@@SonicdaShapeshifter I see your point and I agree but laws like that will never be enacted as long as a man can pay for a test to determine if the child is his. I do still feel bad for OP in the story, as I know he (probably) didn't have the option of testing DNA when "his daughter" was born, but "anti-cuckoo" laws wouldn't be retroactive. I don't know about all states but California will make the man acting as father responsible for the child after a certain period, no matter the paternity. I think OP needs to speak with a lawyer, as he may have a case IF he can prove the soon-to-be ex-wife deliberately mislead him into believing the child was his, but I think that'd be a tough case to get evidence of, and prove intent, on.
Deaf to logic: OP's boyfriend is TA. An implant is a big step, and some effort towards your comfort has to also happen to show that there's compromise, respect and reciprocation.
2nd story NAH. They aren’t even throwing out the rabbit. They’re just building a second house for it outside. They converted her entire closet into a room/bunny pad for it. He was not wrong for suggesting anything, or asking. They just need to work something out. Idk what’s wrong with all the commenters.
Last story What OPs boyfriend is really missing is that either way one of them is going to be learning a language. Obviously he would be learning sign, but he's completely ignoring that since OP was deaf from birth even if she could suddenly miraculously hear perfectly she would still have to learn English using a sense she has never used/had before. Imagine being blind from birth and in your 20s getting your sight, then being told to learn how to read and write to communicate with your SO. So at this point, with her getting her hearing back through a miracle it's still skewed to being easier for him than. Learning to use your hands to talk, when you've had full functionality of them your entire life, should be easier than learning how to speak when you've never heard a single word in any language... However it's not a miracle by which OPs boyfriend expects her to be able to suddenly hear in her 20s, he expects her to undergo surgery. Granted it's not exactly brain surgery but it is still surgery on part of your skull.
If she were to even qualify and have the massive amount of cash lying around to pay for it. Cochlear implants only take the place of damaged cochlear hairs. My cousin is missing two of three bones in one ear, and one of three in the other. Implants won't correct that. Plus, the sound overload and overstimulation adults experience when suddenly being able to hear for the first time (the world is LOUD) often causes anxiety, depression, and headaches and can lead to severe agoraphobia and even suicide, IF they don't reject.
Correct. Even if she could suddenly hear perfectly her brain would have no idea how to process that information. It would likely take her years to understand the sounds she is hearing. Not just language. Think of all the sounds you hear all the time but never really register. A car driving by, the wind, birds chirping, the hum of your refrigerator. She wouldn't have any idea what any of these sounds are. I saw a movie once where a guy was blind from birth. Some surgery gave him his sight. He couldn't tell the difference between and apple and a picture of an apple without touching it. He had to train his brain to understand the input.
If the step son is that allergic, putting bunny outside won't solve the problem. The daughter cuddles her pet; that means her clothing, hair and skin will be covered in hair and dander.
The rabbit story... Christ how bad does the stepson feel to be less of a priority than a rabbit. It sounds like a life threatening allergy for crying out loud.
Some of these Reddit responses are ludicrous 🤦♀️. Especially the one about the rabbit. Jesus, that dad is putting the rabbit outside in a insulated shed not putting it down or in the gutter. And people want him to divorce over a rabbit 🤦♀️. Dodo birds.
Rabbit story: that commenter saying that OP’s stepson needs to accept that the world doesn’t revolve around his allergies, and yet in another story, everyone was calling the OP an AH for not wanting to rehome his cat because his wife suddenly developed an allergy to it. Reddit is full of double standards. Like, why is one person told that their allergies don’t matter, and another person is told that their allergies should be catered to? In this story, OP is trying to find a compromise so they don’t have to rehome the rabbit whilst not risking the stepson’s health. It’s not an unreasonable request. They can build the rabbit a really nice set up out in the garden.
Because Reddit also believes that support animals get the highest amount of defense when it comes to a kid with a dead parent. And I agree that getting rid of the rabbit without trying woukd be an AH move... but then I would have to ignore that: -OP is trying to compromise -they went to a doctor for advice -the stepson could potentially die from this allergy -the mom has been dead for 6 years and OP and his new wife were long distance dating for years after that -the son didnt realize he was allergic to rabbits -Op sounds fond of the rabbit too (likening it to a cat, building it it's own room, trying to build it it's own shed, etc.) Too bad reddit suffers with reading comprehension
Story about the soon to be stepson the kid has a father that's in his life and taking care of him. Op didn't say he wouldnt get the kid birthday or Xmas gifts just he wasn't going to be a father more like an uncle. What's the problem with that? All the yta comments really need to get a clue about real life.
Story 1: Reheating food is not a chore. As a lazy person myself if I could just stick all my meals in the microwave and have all the nutrition I need and without plastic polluting the planet, I would. As an adult he should be just as embarrassed at needing/wanting her to get up and reheat his food for him as needing/wanting her to get up and dress him for bed and brush his teeth for him. Honestly, I don't believe he thinks himself incapable (he has a demanding job but can't work a microwave?) and I don't believe he's just being lazy either (again, he has a very unlazy job and it's literally the easiest and quickest way to feed yourself). I think he just wants to enforce a 1950s model of gender roles that he feels entitled to. He didn't go to bed hungry because he wasn't capable, he did it deliberately out of spite. Hurting yourself to make the other person feel guilty is the lowest and stupidest form of pettiness.
Sign language is hard, but the cash, various appointments, device cost/maintenance, surgery, post op, learning to overcome anxiety from hearing everything until u develop a white noise filter, navigating tone and various accents, yep not hard. In fact, he won't feel a thing.
Rabbit Story confused me. Why is there so many YTA??? Its not like he made her get rid of the rabbit, she still has her beloved pet it just has to move. She can be out there with it all the time, and leash train it to be with her in the yard. If they make a little run for it, it will be on the grass and probably be happier honestly.
I find it rare to think that an ambulance service is non-stop for an entire shift, I know plenty of paramedics who work shifts like a Fire Department, which, also, does not run non-stop the full shifts.....They do a lot of busy work and training, but for him to say he needs her to wake up and coddle him....well....I just have to laugh at the poor poor bAAAby (note the whinge in that word!)
1st story: Get rid of that man yesterday. 2nd story: unpopular opinion, NTA. He’s not getting rid of the rabbit, but safely changing it’s environment. Given the update a “bunny barn” is a good compromise. If he puts in a couch for daughter to hang out, that’s better than anything. Last story: Ableist asshole. He doesn’t respect you. Dump him.
How much you wanna bet that Fluffy will "accidentally" escape in the middle of the night, to never be seen again? I wouldn't trust Douchebag Dad to throw both bunny and daughter under the bus so he can have his shiny new family.
Story 2, he is the asshole, I'm a father and am currently going through a divorce I would prefer to be alone for the rest of my life then do anything that would hurt my daughter, his daughter loves the rabbit as stated she has a bunny ramp onto her bed. she loves that rabbit and now because he doesn't want to be alone her best friend who no doubt got her through her loss of her mother has to live outside. If this was a dog and was her emotional support animal and the step brother was allergic would you say that the dog now has to live outside ? Or would you say that she needs that dog for her mental health 🤔. Op is a massive asshole
@@dramuckus Look, the bunny was just moved, like, five meters away, not being sent into a shelter. Daughter can can spent hours or most of her days with the bunny, she just can´t sleep in the same room with it again. And if she´s that attached to her bunny that she couldn´t sleep without it, she needed help to slowly distance herself because that level of dependency is not healthy and she already got the rabbit for 5 years, a rabbit´s lifespan is around 5-10 years, it can died anytime and then what? How will the daughter survive if she can´t even life with her pets a few meters away?
You would never treat a servan like that, zuzu is my chef she is a lovely africal lady would never even dream of treating her like that, hell she works 11 -7 would never ask her to cook outside those hours.
Lying mom and daughter. Funny how the comments are "she is still a kid, don't be harsh" the girl is 18 yo. If this was a controlling parent or making her follow some rules at home it would be, you are a adult, you are 18 and they cannot control you. You need to leave, you are not a child and they should not be telling you what to do. Y'all are hilarious, depending on the benefits, 18 yo can change at the drop of a hat. She only told him in a attempt to hurt him, not coming clean with this life long secret from guilt.
Story Two - The Rabbit: I've noticed that no one in the comments on the post, or here for that matter, really have a solution for this story. Most of them are just saying how the adults are assholes and the daughter will hate her Dad, but nothing in the way of a work around or concrete solution. Yeah, there should have been more planning, but that's neither here from there, they need a solution now. I don't have one either. I think the Dad's plan, in the update, is at least a good start though.
I don’t understand some of these people and their apparent need to remain in an abusive relationship. There’s working through minor issues, getting therapy for major issues and then there’s self abuse by being too terrified to call it quits.
Next thing you know its gonna be forcing the girl to get rid of it and when she says no she will come home and its been given away by dad or step mom for HER sons safety. Then the daughter will truly hate them all.
Did you not listen to the story at all? He's *converting the shed into a bunny condo.* He's trying to do the right thing by *everyone.* Good *lord,* do you *want* the boy to die of asphyxiation?
STOP CALLING OLDER TEENS "CHILDREN," they are legally adults, at least in the US, and will go to jail for any crimes therefore, NOT CHILDREN but YOUNG adults!!! It is SO wrong to wipe away their actions by saying, "they are children." They aren't
It’s a rabbit… a pet. He’s not giving it away! He’s not killing it! Life sucks, hard choices have to be made at times. The bunny goes in the barn and the daughter can visit it. Good solution dad. Good job! Everybody else being mean needs to stop being the A!
Story#1 . After major abdominal surgery, a close female needed bed rest for 2 weeks then slow rehab. I volunteered to cook dinner for husband and HIS kids ( 13-16). Everyone was told dinner was ready, help themselves (wok meal, choice of sides)and I took her meal to bedroom. She asked if I had given her husband his meal ( he had been sitting on couch, watching tv, nursing 3rd or 4th drink) she tried to get out if bed to serve him, I told her I'd take care of it. As I walked try kitchen, he calls " where's my dinner". I told him he didn't really want me to bring him his dinner, did he?? He finally looked at my face, got up and miraculously filled a plate, walked back to his seat and mumbled thanks. He would have worn it had I'd had to dish it up.
Daughter drama: I'm surprised the dramatic daughter lasted a year before giving the game away. This is very messed up. Help the 'daughter' to find a job or a home with these relatives. Children don't spoil themselves and OP is to blame for that too.
Dude can't be bothered to put a container in the microwave, that wife has to get up and do it for him? Him 'going hungry' is just his own stubbornness. I seriously hope that he's just on edge from a high stress job. But if this is a pattern and he's not getting help, OP needs to get out.
So you asked if your the idiot for kicking your daughters bunny out, your pointed out you rushed into this situation and should step back in your relationship, you come back with I get why I’m an idiot but I’m doing it anyway. 🙄
For the last story: He doesn't have to learn ASl as well she doesn't have to get the cochlear implant therefore neither are the YTA. It's just not going to work out.
Learning *ASL* = not a surgery, and actually a beneficial life skill. Telling your SO to get a neurotransmitter implanted in their head because you are too lazy to learn Sign: Entitled, ableist, self absorbed - and that's IF she qualifies for one, it takes, she's got several tens of thousand kicking around to pay for it and the subsequent rehabilitation therapy, and it doesn't cause her to become overstimulated, depressed, and have headaches or it rejects (all common in adults). He's an asshole, and an entitled one at that.
@Gi Gi It's fair to say she wanted him to change as well. Not everyone can easily learn a new language when they are older. He was okay with current mode of communication. She wanted something different so he countered. Same as when one partner wants to leave the country for job/school when the other partner doesn't. It just was not going to work out. She can find someone else that can learn or already knows ASL. Same with him. If he knows he cannot change his way of communicating with someone with a disability, then he needs to find someone else.
@Gi Gi I speak Spanish fluently and my bf only speaks English. I never asked him once to learn Spanish so I can speak more comfortably but he did any way just because he wanted to. I accidentally slip into Spanish sometimes but he understands. I would never tell him to just learn a few Spanish words for my own sake.
@Gi Gi ASL is a language like any other, just done differently. Learning a few signs isn't what she's looking for. She said she got tired of communicating via message. She wants more. Having a disability doesn't automatically entitle you ask someone to accommodate you (unless it's general public stuff like ramps and signs). She can always find someone else that is willing to learn. That probably means that person loves her enough to change his way.
Some first responders develope anger issues and verbally and physically abuse their spouse and children. He needs therapy
Yup, first responders come right behind law enforcement in DV stats.
@@pansprayers Based on?
@@JSainte17 there are several articles online that discuss this issue that you can google. Police officers have the highest in every article I read and get off the most as well.
Yep.
Some of the stuff we deal with leaves scars. We see people at their worst. Sometimes the best we can do is make you comfortable so you can die without feeling any pain.
It’s an exhausting, mostly thankless job we do. It does have good moments when you successfully guide Grandpa back from deaths doorway, or receive a hand drawn card from a little boy who came and got you because their dad fell down and couldn’t get up, and you successfully resuscitate his dad.
There’s also bad moments too when you can’t save the patient. You get verbal abuse thrown at you and sometimes a patients family member will attack you. There is the agonized wails of a mother when you tell her their child is gone.
We do get beaten down mentally over time. It’s why I write. There’s nothing better than opening the front door to a chorus of meows followed by a race to see who can reach the chair first, followed by a fight over who gets my lap first. (My cats)
I am not defending the husband at all. I’m only giving a glimpse into our lives. OPs husband needs help and a less stressful job. (He’s not my coworker btw.)
It also helps having the worlds cutest Pom on her rug waiting to give kisses and cuddles to us. She’s my hearing assistance dog.
A lot of paramedics drop out of the career afternoon 7years. Met one once who said she would never go back after what she’d seen.
Story 1: Re-heating dinner is not a chore, if he almost passed out because he doesn't want to reheat his own dinner is his fault for being lazy. If this is how he reacts to something so small then i don't want to imagine how he is with other things, hope OP leaves and gets help.
Him sitting in the living room after a night shift and supposedly nearly passing out from hunger sounds like he nearly fell asleep on the couch after a long shift...
What an ungrateful wretch. I hope he complains at work ind gets set straight. He sounds like the type to complain about is wife at work.
If you can’t be by bothered to put something in the microwave, you are useless.
When op leaves he has to reheat a meal he has to cook HIMSELF first 🤣🤣🤣. And of course all household shores.
I bet he moved in with mommy after she left him collecting child support payments... such an idiot.
If I were the hubby, I would be thanking my wife for being so thoughtful to prepare all these meals for me so all I had to do was reheat them.
Need an update on story #1. Hope she got out safely.
Yeah dump his sorry @$$. Also he ended up hungry due to his own stupidty to it all.
Me too! Those tactics are abusive & it will 100% escalate
Yeah, he's treating her like a slave.
Wanting shit done at his neck and call, pff.
My husband used to wake me during the night to make him coffee. He didn't work and I'm chronically ill. Nothing wrong with him. It took me 30 years to get out. Get out now. He's only going to get worse. He's shown you who he is. Believe him
Story 1- it's a control thing. Expecting your partner to wake up immediately to prepare a hot meal for you at random times of the day because you refuse to reheat food, is a power mover to prove you are "the boss" of the house.
Definitely. It also shows he has no regard towards his wife and he'd rather wake her up in the middle of the night instead of simply take the meal out of the fridge and put into the microwave or oven. Does he expect her to take off his shoes, put on his PJ's and push the toilet button?
Story 1. I really feel bad for anyone that has him to respond to their emergency, this man can't even work a microwave how can he handle a ambulance
🤦
Story 1: Ridiculous is standing in the living room screaming like a toddler for somebody to come heat his dinner.
"She was young and made mistakes." Ummmm... NO. It was only ONE YEAR ago that she told her daughter the truth and told her not to tell "dad" because then their cash cow would leave them. GROSS.
Everytime I hear the "they were young and made mistakes" line I always think then why didn't the betrayed partner cheat? Also 3 people isn't a mistake it's a series of bad decisions.
Fucking disgusting mother-daughter pair, complicit in their alliance to fleece money out of this guy eternally. Hope he finds a loving woman who won't be terrible.
It’s worse than that. The wife never gave a duck about her husband. If she did she would have had a kid for him. She also poisoned her daughter against him her whole life. With the icing on the cake of telling her after her 18th birthday and to keep using him for money. My suggestion is use the daughter to get out of the marriage to the banshee. Then offer family counseling for him and the now “stepdaughter” to heal. She refuses then cast her aside as well. I hope OP is young enough to find another woman that will love him and give him the Family he deserves.
@@RobDaCajun IMO there is NOTHING more evil than a woman who lies to a man claiming a child that isn’t his (or might not be) is his. Also, it’s evil to do to the actual father as you’re depriving him of his kid.
I swear if only men could get pregnant, we’d have so many laws in place. The least of which being mandatory DNA testing at birth. Can you imagine a woman being told her bf is pregnant and society telling her she’d better not even question it, otherwise she’s an AH? Even if it means 18+ years of emotional and financial support. Not to mention the damage it does to the kid. Never in a million years would we as women tell each other to take a man at his word because not doing so is toxic. It’s laughable.
OP needs to protect his assets (with an attorney if necessary) ASAP. Change the beneficiaries for life insurance, 401k or anything else. Take half of any existing joint accounts funds and put them into the new acct. Cancel all credit cards. The wife or daughter shouldn't be on anything. If they're using cars that are in your name, sell them. I wouldn't give the daughter anything, she is a mirror image of that wraith of a wife. She was an adult when she was told and she went along with the dishonesty. Neither of them love OP, so rip that bandaid off now. Block the in-laws on the phone. I wouldn't block the wife or daughter since anything they say in text can be used against them in court. You don't have to answer the texts, you're just gathering evidence.
Maybe someone else knows: can he legally disown her?
I've worked a rotating shift for the 1st 10 years of my marriage. When I came home at 2 3 or sometimes 5 am I made my own food and didn't disturb my sleeping wife. That husband is a complete a hole.
I work nights and it's not unusual for me to leave the home at 6pm and not get home until 7am. I don't come home and wake my husband up to be my personal butler or whatever. It's not that hard to make your own food. Hell, I'll make dinner for the evening, walk the dogs, do dishes/laundry, and go work out before bed. Lazy mf, he thinks his wife is his slave.
It almost sounds as if he doesn't like the fact that he has to be up at all hours and wants her to share in the misery.
@@Snipergoat1 The sounds of an unappreciated man in my estimation but a lack of tact for sure.
Look, I am a bit allergic to rabbits myself.
I find it interesting that you think that moving the rabbit outside will solve the problem. The rabbit hair is in the house. It's skin cells, sneezes, and other bodily functions have happened in the home. The home will never be rabbit free, even with the rabbit gone.
Plus, your daughter will be spending lots of time outside away from the family with her rabbit. This will cover her in rabbit stuff. Every time she comes back into the house she will bring the allergen in. It will get back in her room, on the sofa, across the carpet...everywhere. The boy will swell up just walking anywhere near her.
This will not end well for OP
Your daughter will be crushed, because your solution won't solve the issue. The rabbit will have to go permanently, and the house will have to be cleaned, and steamed, the furniture, all clothing, bedding, rugs may need replacing.
Your daughter will lose out completely. Your step son will never be free from it in this house. You will have to get rid of a beloved pet, and move to a new home. Preferably one that has never had pets live in it.
When your daughter moves out, she will get pets, and your stepson will never be able to be around her again. This is a disaster.
It's a tragic situation all around.
Well sounds like his daughter will have to wear a hazmat suit when visiting her bunny. Than she can leave it in the barn and come back in allergen free.
@@bautistalover 🤣🤣🤣😘
@@mindylafler3456 I mean well 😇😁, she’ll look crazy but at least her brother will be safe and she’ll still have a pet.
@@bautistalover still LMAO
Anger issues amongst Emergency workers is more common than people think. Burnout, compassion fatigue and PTSD can sneak up on you without realising it. The husband really needs to talk to someone about it. In the service that I work for, I had more friends who’ve quit or ‘died early’ than I currently have friends on the job.
Story 1…. He’s an ambo driver.. trust me they stop and get food all the time especially after a run… he’s not starving he’s just an asshole
The deaf story: my fiance is English, I am Norwegian. I am also half deaf (completely deaf in my left and half deaf in my right) I use a hearing aid but it isnt the same. My fiance is not only learning Norwegian but he is, very slowly, Learning British sign language and Norwegian sign language. A person who loves you WILL do it! My partner would NEVER ask me to get a cochlear implant
It's embarrassing how so many hearing people automatically think that deaf people are missing something and would be better with implants. That's like saying that people that can't read Latin are inferior to those that can. People need to butt out and let others communicate how they want to.
@@lorisewsstuff1607 I've heard people say how """amazing""" it'd be to have deafness in the past and not need sign language anymore and it's honestly so disgusting. One, because a lot of deaf people don't need to be "cured", two, because wanting to eradicate a whole subculture is just gross af, and 3, because sign language is really important for other conditions. Like some autistic people that have selective mutism actively prefer to sign even when they could talk.
I honestly think that sign language should be taught in elementary school. I took a class in college and loved it. I really should get back into it and use it more often.
I can see both sides. The fact is, she's asking him to compromise by agreeing to do exactly what she wants. It's not a compromise if one person gets everything they want and the other person gets nothing. But the surgery is her choice, so I think what we have is just an incompatibility, with no assholes here
@@kelseygraham875 Where you're wrong is that she can't learn to speak his language and he can learn to speak her's.
as a person with severe rabbit allergies, (lets just say I had to quite a job over allergies before I found the correct medications) First, look into allergy therapy/shots for the boy, Look into reducing any carpeting in the home and let your daughter know that she will need to help step up with limiting the areas the rabbit visits, and the remainder of the house to help eliminate allergens that could be transferred on her clothing, etc.
Story 3: NTA Oh boy, i see why the stepdaughter is so horrible. DON'T TAKE THEM BACK, stepdaughter only told you the truth because she was angry and told too munch, she would had never told you otherwise, she told you she only saw you as a wallet, believe her. Stop contacting all of your ex-wife's family and friends, they don't have your best interest in mind.
I think maybe the daughter has known longer than she admits to. She admitted that she only sees OP as an ATM and not a father. Well, who does she see as a father?
She stopped treating OP like a father, father figure or even family long ago. She sees OP as her mom's husband and atm. That's not going to change anytime soon. If it does it has to be on her end. NTA. Lawyer up, divorce the wife and cut them off. Any future communication needs to go thru the lawyers.
What I don't understand is if he always used protection why didn't he suspect back then that the baby might not be his?? If I was a guy that always used protection and then my SO gets pregnant I might be a little suspicious. I like how the mother tells the daughter ,because she deserves to know the truth, but doesn't feel the need to do the same with the husband.
I would be telling the ILs that they should have raised their daughter better. Since the "daughter" wants to go with "Your not my dad" then I have no problem pushing her toward the curb as well.
There should be a law against paternity fraud
People acting like the dude is disowning his child for a new wife and son. He literally made multiple attempts to compromise and there was no other way than to move the rabbit into the backyard, and in its own house instead of a cage. Like they expect him to abandon people he wanted to have as family just because his daughter can't bear walking outside; because clearly that's a worst outcome than having a child die from a known allergy.
The sad truth is that too often people drop their children from the first marriage/relationship for the new one. Or abuse them mentally/physically. Or let the new family roll all over the old one.
That is why people react to these stories rather strongly.
And to be honest, they didn't even visted once before marriage and moving in? So weird. And now his daughter has to accommodate because his new family because they never even tested living together before tying the knot, which feels like the daughter got steam rolled there as well and ignored because op horny.
For the rabbit allergy they did not try to switch hay variety before going to this drastic step, or try allergy medications, or try high powered air filters. Sure they tried some fixes before jumping to dumping the rabbit outside for a fox to get a tasty meal, but it was a half hearted effort.
They went to the doctor and tried to keep the place clean. Just walking past the room set off anaphylaxis.
The allergy is so severe that the stepbrother's throat starts closing. That is a serious, and potentially fatal, allergy. It's not an allergy to hay, but the rabbit, itself.
And that "YTA" comment about making the stepbrother and stepmother go live elsewhere, that's the most childish and ridiculous tripe I think I've seen in about six months worth of these videos (well over 300 stories). That commenter is likely the daughter, and it shows.
They never even tried living together before marrying each other and actually test if they are compatible to do so.
That would have been best too for the sake of his daughter to get used to a potential stepmother.
Additionally they would have found out about the allergy at the first visit.
And if the allergy is so bad than the hair on ops daughter should have caused something when see ops new family.
OPs daughter lost her mother, probably got steamrolled with a step family and now loses her beloved pet. Hope OP never will be surprised if daughter resents him, he should have seen it coming.
How can a person responsible for saving lives be so inept that they cant reheat their own food?
Because he’s not inept it’s a power move!
I have a feeling the stepson didn't know he was allergic to rabbits before entering the house... I didn't know I was allergic to salmon until I was in my 20s and I had been allergic all my life. We just never realized that's why I was getting sick.
@@SnowyWolborg if he wasn't around enough to know about the allergy Op and wife rushed the move in.
They never tested living together before marrying, only long distance. Pretty sure they did that extra to steamroll the daughter and not really give her a chance in anything.
My god, I would NEVER marry a man who had such a terrible attitude towards my 7 year old son. If that woman chooses to still marry a man like that, she needs to lose custody and allow him to go live with his dad. I have practically raised my stepson and since I've had my younger son, I've made a concentrated effort to make sure he sees that I still love him just as much as my younger son.
Clearly, this guy shouldn't be dating women who already have children. Boundaries? Fine, but this is waaay past that.
Get rid of cheating wife and the dreadful “ daughter”. They get nothing, why on earth would you pay for a kid who hates you?
No it's not even hate it's a total lack of feelings the daughter only got angry when he refused to do his function as an ATM. But I feel that is so much worse than hate
Like mother like daughter. Now you can see where the daughter gets her lying from
@Gi Gi he raised her to be a brat? Lol. From the example given, he didn't raise her to be a brat. That 100% was the bitch that had her
The most frustrating thing about the bunny story is more to the fact that neither of the parents lived together for an extended period of time before they got married. It's really important to live together as a couple, especially when you have kids. I think that's one of the most important things you need to make sure you're compatible on, because of issues like this. I think op just used a shortcut because he had already been in a relationship with his wife previously and that's why he didn't bother doing this, not realizing that people can change years down the road.
Plus how little did they talk about their kids? Like how do you not mention how much your daughter loves her bunny? Or how the bunny has his own room in the house? Then they could have had a conversation about how this relationship will work out. Plus dude is willing to hurt his daughter for his new woman. I look forward to the my daughter hates her new mom and brother post in a few years
@Gi Gi if that kids allergies are that bad the bunny shed won’t be a viable solution for long, OP’s daughter will come into the house covered in bunny allergens every time she spends time with the bunny.
@@muhname6052 Considering OP´s update, I got a feeling that not even his stepson could foresee that he would get that severe reaction to the bunny. Or that he even knew he was allergic to rabbits at all.
The OP in this story is a major idiot. "We didn't have the option." Yes, they had the option. They could have waited and most probably should have. What was the rush? "OMG!!! You can move in now. Run! Run! Get your stuff in here ASAP!!!" It takes awhile for 4 people to get to know each other. This is just the first problem OP is seeing. Good luck. They're going to need it. I feel sorry for the kids and bunny.
@@bluesapphire4262 Agreed. It's possible that nobody even had any idea at the start of it. I found out that I'm severely allergic to jet fumes after working at an airport last year. It took a week of exposure to build up in my system, but it sent me to the hospital in an ambulance. I stayed there for 8 days after I was diagnosed with having had a complex/complicated migraine (migraine with stroke-like symptoms, according to the doctor). Since then, I've had more migraines than I've ever had in my entire life. Beforehand, I'd thought that I wasn't allergic to anything.
Still, I'd say that OP and his wife are AHs for not waiting to marry. Trial runs with living together are always best, for a number of reasons. Now, things will be much, much harder on everyone.
The future stepdad sounds like my ex-father, who resisted my stepmother’s attempts to include me when they had kids since he wanted to focus on his “current family”. I was good enough to be invited to some family events if my aunts asked about me, or if they were gift giving occasions for the half siblings, but not good enough to have a room (they needed it for overflow from the siblings’ rooms), a place to sleep besides the couch, or a place on family trips.
I remember the time they all came home from a cruise bragging about the 2 for 1 jewelry sale they’d found in the Bahamas and “the whole family got one!”, then handed me a dried out souvenir chocolate ship with an expiration date a few months past as a thank you for watching their pets, and how a few months later they called me to watch the pets while they went on their 4th cruise in about three years. It was just too expensive to bring people outside of the family as ex-father put it. I cut contact when it became clear I would always be second string family at best, and didn’t speak to him again.
He’s since died and, frankly, I feel and felt nothing other than missing my stepmother and half brothers, who were all too good for him.
Talk about a shitty way to treat a kid when you make new and better ones. Dude needs to date women who aren’t moms.
Your half siblings were and are not any "better" than you. Your father missed out on being a proper parent to you. Im sorry.
Wow when the stepparent is nicer than your own parents. Still wasnt right wgat they did to you. Luckily there are two familys in a persons live: the one we are born into and the one we choose :)
I am sorry that happened to you, you have my sympathies.
OMG, do I even need to count the amount of red flags the first story has? Seriously this guy could work long hours but he can’t spend a couple minutes reheating his food in a microwave? Are you kidding me?
And that’s story on the wife and daughter. People like the daughter really bring out the worst in step kids. And honestly the daughter sounds horrible not just insulting the father but spreading lies about people. Wow I can see where she gets the lies from, like mother, like daughter.
@Gi Gi i’m not just talking about the lies to OP I’m talking about the lies she does to people just to be a attention seeker
Story 1: People who stay at home also work. They take care of household tasks, and if there are any dependents, young, old, or disabled, they take care of them. People who do their own housework and care giving work hard. Making a bunch of meals ahead is a great way to lighten the work load. Making one big batch of food takes less time, energy, and clean up than making a bunch of smaller meals over the course of the week. This is one of the reasons why I like leftovers. Any adult claiming to be unable to reheat food, or claiming that it's your job to do it because you are the family house keeper, while they work at a"real" job, is just doing a power play. Being the family house keeper is a "real" job.
I live alone, and have multiple health issues that make it hard for me to do some of the house work. A few times a year I have someone in to give my place a thorough cleaning. The rest of the time I do what I can around my place, and use a grabber to reach for things too high, too low, or too far. I also use an office task chair with wheels in the kitchen, so I can easily manuever around the room while doing chores and food prep. I use a rolling walker when walking, and I put a cardboard box on it's seat so I can haul lots of stuff around my apartment, as needed. Because of my health issues I tire easily, but my disability audz--and caffeine help me get more done than I would without them. So yes, doing housework is "real" work whether you are healthy or disabled. It uses time, energy, and effort, and it needs doing. That's a pretty basic definition of work.
Since hubby is an arrogant, anti equality jerk, OP really needs to seriously consider ending this relationship. He sees OP more as a sub human servant or slave. If OP doesn't want to be treated that way, then she will need to end the relationship.
Where did you get all this false allegations against the husband , it's Fuking dinner , make it .
Its f-ing made. Reheat it.
He's telling her in advance he plans to keep the kid at a distance. So she has that info. If she goes ahead with marrying the guy, she'll be the idiot.
Volper Bunny: Get the stepson allergy testing and allergy shots for anything he's allergic to. It might not even be the rabbit.
I second this. Coming from someone who is allergic to the only mammal you can be anaphylacticly allergic to, a horse, this sounds like it's more like a dust, or whatever shavings they probably use for the bunny's pen or litter, allergy
the story says hes been tested and it is the rabbit. the op is looking to make an enclosure for the bunny and not get rid of it.
@@helema23 Maybe reaching a bit, but what if the daughter spends time with the rabbit outside and the other son *still* has allergy problems? Then it's going to be bye bye bunny, which will likely send the daughter downhill. Even if the daughter can get a friend to house him, her contact with him could still send the other kid into allergy mode. I feel like this is something that the daughter will really resent OP for. It's going to show her that her needs will come second, even if that's not the intent.
BTW, OP was a complete moron to not live together with the wife or have more of a trial period of 6 mos or more in order to gauge a number of things before getting married and then them moving in. Like, what if the two just don't get along as step siblings? One of them can't be "re-housed" (or can they?). Maybe I'm making a mountain out of a molehill, but these are the kind of things that fester resentment and LC/NC later on.
Ist story: I would've cussed him out.......he would've never done that again.
"Don't want to re-heat?Then don't eat.Not MY problem."
Straight and simple.
I work between 10-12 hours a night. I would *kill* for a meal that just needs reheating that's not been made on my one available day by me or come from a box.
That dude deserves to be single.
Yep - loads of ppl come home after a long hard day and have to organise and cook their own meals and yet somehow survive. Ild be happy if someone had shopped to make sure there was food in the house. People need to get a grip.
I've been watching your videos for a while. IMO you have the best voice out of all the AITA channels. I love listening to you and how sometimes you laugh. You deserve so many more subscriber's.
Story one: why do men think SAHMs don't work? SAHMs work harder than most jobs, as they don't get breaka
Stay at home also don’t have job sercurity that some other jobs do, they don’t get benefits like 401k and don’t get vacation days even though they are entitled to just like any other career. Stay at home mothers in particular are at a high risk for being left out in the cold because of the employment gap. People who think stay at home parents isn’t a job are also the type to think you “babysit” your kids when it’s your turn to watch them.
That mindset right there is what has people scoffing. SAHMs don’t work harder than most jobs. Miss me with that. Do they work hard sure but don’t even try to put on the same level as other jobs.
@@itazuranakisu No job has half the security as a stay at home mom. If the partner wants to "fire" you, you get half the company in the divorce. Got any jobs that do that?
The 3rd story, I am so sick of people referring 18/19 year olds as children. Children can't move out on their own or go to college/university. The entitled daughter isn't his daughter. He doesn't have to do anything for her. He has to cut his soon to be exes family off, including his "step-daughter". It makes me sick that his exes parents are blaming him and telling him to take their daughter back, that the cheating was a mistake it was years ago. No, we all know that cheating is not a mistake, she cheated because she was desperate and couldn't bother to keep her legs shut. She deserves to be kicked out. She proved that she was only with him for his money, along with her daughter. They are both gold diggers. I feel for OP, I really do but I do think that he needs to kick the daughter out as she is not his problem anymore. And block anyone who calls to harass him his ex and her daughter. OP is NTA.
She did not only cheat but lied to him every single day over aboute 2 decades.
YES YES YES - I was going to say just this.
Not only is cheating NOT a mistake, she cheated with three different guys during the conception period without using protection. Who knows how many before and after. A single time MIGHT be considered a mistake, maybe they could move past that.
The story about the soon to be stepfather who wants his stepson to be "separate" from his real family: I honestly think your fiance would be the AH if she actually marries you.
Rabbit story - I understand the boy didn't show signs of his allergy right away - sometimes that happens (allergies take an exposure to activate, then become a problem). I understand that it was hard for them to spend time together ahead of time, but that is one of my two big problems. If OP had been more interested in blending a family that getting someone in his bed, this wouldn't have happened. The other problem is that keeping a pet rabbit outdoors is known to shorten it's life. I really hope that shed's not just a great enclosure, but is a good spot for daughter to visit her support and comfort.
As the child of a widower, I think it's awful to assume he was just trying to get someone in his bed.
The son may not have spent much time in the house for it to be revealed, they could have met up in neutral areas or at the stepmom's house, he could have spent a lot of time in his bio dad's custody.
When my dad started dating we only saw his girlfriend's son about once every months or so, and that was only after she moved in with us. He didnt go near our rooms or to everywhere in the house. Most of the time when he came over we went outside or just stayed in the living room.
As for the rabbit, it sounded like the dad wanted the daughter to help him pick out stuff for her rabbit. Considering they converted her whole walk in closet for her pet, why should we assume he's going to skimp out now? It sounds far more likely he wanted to be as fair as possible to his daughter and her companion.
Story: "So you can't walk to the fridge, place the food on your plate, and heat it up in the microwave? That's what you're saying?" That's the way I'd respond to anybody telling me such a dumbass story or anything of the sort like that with the most emotionless/sarcastic tone.
I’m sorry the story with the bunny is wtf? “That poor bunny will have to live outside”? You mean like every single other rabbit on the entire planet? If it were mild allergies like a runny nose itchy eyes take some Benadryl and get over it, but swelling eyes and throat? That’s life threatening. It’s not like he jumped straight to “let’s put the damn thing to sleep” what is wrong with people. My husband has asthma and the cat hair made it harder for him to breathe. We compromised and built a Catio outside our window and my cats LOVED it, they had grass and a view outside and in extreme weather they got to come in.
I don’t agree with the “if you have a runny nose, just take Benadryl”, cause the medicine can just not work if he takes it too much. But I agree with everything else!
Cochlear implant - my deaf niece got one as an adult. It did not work and she lost even the tiny bit of hearing she had in that ear. She decided against trying with the other ear. They are amazing bits of tech, but not 100%. I do not blame OP for being wary. Niece is married to a normal hearing guy and they have four non-deaf kids.
My sister was deafened and had used hearing aids for the majority of her life. A cochlear was suggested, but at the time she had to have MRI every six months. Since the implant requires magnets, she would have to have them removed every time she had an MRI it was determined to not be feasible.
I spoke to one of her friends who did have the implants and needed an MRI, and he was wondering why the techs refused to do the MRI and I pointed out that he had metal that could attract magnets in his head.
Plenty of people who have the implants have mentioned that they needed to train their brains to interpret sounds, and they started out hearing. I can't imagine what it would be like for an adult who never heard suddenly having to train to understand others.
Sister is deaf and had cochlear since she was a child, she suffers a lottt the implant definitely is a serious decision it comes with a lot of problems, so it’s definitely not some “cure”.
My son is hearing impaired and can vocalize a little but not verbalize. Know what I did right away? Downloaded a sign language app and began learning. I take daily lessons, then teach them to my wife. We all 3 are learning together.
I'm so sick of people saying their just kids. she's not a kid. she knew exactly what she was doing and wanted to hurt op. stop talking to both of them.
Story 1: He's lost his everlasting mind. I'd never cook for his @$$ again.
1st story: pfffttt....I'd never, ever cook for him again! Jerk
Amen
I'd leave. That's scary as hell behaviour.
@@pansprayers Definitely isn't the healthiest behaviour 😔
Will only get worse
Especially with the kids.
Story one: you know, reddit is quick to say "break up" or "divorce" but.. yeah. I'd have gone to that myself. You aren't a servant, and he isn't five. Is he working overtime to provide for you and the baby? Maybe. Is he being a dick? Yes. In your story, he doesn't once come off as caring about you or the kid at all, aside from making money.
3. Story: NTA
I really love how some evil monster like the wife is able to call OP "cruel"
if those people want the wife and daughter supported they themself can go support them
Ok the ESH makes sense on the bunny story. The kids don't know each other that well but the adults jump right into moving in at the first chance.
After years of long distance dating, and frequent meet ups for a year prior… do you people just flat out not read the stories?!
@@ilikedooooooodes7963 Probably, given the Redditors also missed that the mom died *six years ago,* so it's hardly fresh grief.
It's not jumping in. It's after meet-ups, a good amount of time, and marriage. The last is something the children have the ability to comprehend and a really good landmark for them to understand that life will change.
Story 3: holy shit. His wife is a massive gold digger and his daughter is a massive tool.
That said, OP and his ex don't seem like they did that great at parenting the daughter.
Yeah…he needs to stop all contact. And reevaluate his relationship with his daughter who sees him as a wallet. Oof, I want an update.
Even though op is the victim, he’s probably gonna be on the hook for Child Support and alimony unless there was a prenup.
I’m female and am of the opinion that everyone should have a prenup, not bc they don’t trust their partner, but as insurance if the unexpected happens. With life insurance (or any type of health insurance really) you don’t EXPECT the worst, you just leave yourself with options in case the worst happens and you cover that potential future. If there’s no cheating/paternity fraud, then the prenup will never be needed. It’ll just be a document in the either. But I would rather have it and not need it, then need it and not have it and be financially screwed, regretful and bitter. Same with DNA tests, dudes can never know, and as I female, I myself can never truly understand that fear, but I CAN emphasize. This needs to be a law…
I REALLY hope OP had a prenup…otherwise the gold digger can screw him over (if she finds and can afford a slimy lawyer).
I need updates
@@bribri2925 yup, but also, if the daughter decides to work with him....
and.... i thought the "they didnt raise her well" but then remembered my buddies sister acting this way, till she realized backing mom was a bad move and that mom was genuinely a horrible person..... (genuinely IS a horrible person to be more accurate....), after she admitted what mom told her to dad, not quite like this but.. why she had been acting cold and so...different for months...he called a few of us friends and we talked it over with him... hung out... he didnt boot the daughter but the ex was sent on a trip to visit her sister and came back to find she had been moved to her brothers bar, hes the only local family who had a place they were willing to house her... her parents helped him get full custody they told me "cheaters always cheat, and we didnt raise our kids like that" none of her siblings are cheaters...
turns out she is his, but the brother is not.. hes the fathers cousins kid... who was pissed she covered up that she KNEW it was his... his ex ended up owing support to him and the kids, after what the daughter helped provide proving she never wanted kids and only had them to lock dad down so she could be a SAHM... who didnt do anything at home she could avoid.
I was floored when OP's boyfriend wanted OP to get surgery rather than learn any sign language. Get on with your life -- without him.
A note on the Cochlear Inplants - most hearing people don’t view the deaf community as a separate culture the way deaf people do. Many in the deaf community views the implants as destroying the deaf culture while many hearing people view it as a “solution” to a “problem”.
In regards to learning sign language, sadly not even all parents of deaf children bother to learn. I don’t get it, personally, but I grew up exposed to the deaf culture between having a hearing schoolmate with deaf parents and growing up near Gallaudet University so I learn to admire and respect the deaf community.
Bunny Story
How does this situation even happen? OP got married and "my daughter has a pet" or "my son is allergic" never came up?
My husband is an ambulance driver. I wish he did this to me, he'd be out on the streets
Call me crazy, but even if someone had a cochlear implant wouldn’t it be wise to learn sign language for safety/backup reasons? What a ridiculous hill to die on.
Have you even taken your stepson to a doctor to make sure it's the rabbit, and not something else? I only ask b/c OP didn't use any common sense before moving in the new family; the father's rights have nothing to do with how OP mishandled the situation.
Hold up hold up hold up a man changing things to have his step kid comfortable makes him a idoit...... but a step dad that put a kid at arm length is also bad...... that said alot.
I swear, the Redditors like this have their heads screwed on backwards and shoved up their own butts... at least the dad in the rabbit story didn't jump straight to rehoming bunny! And to be honest, if I was a rabbit, the set up of that bunny barn would make me jealous!
I think the stepdad pointing out that the kid already has a dad is in the right. I really can't stand the stories where the stepparents try to take over the role and push the bioparent out. Or overrule the bioparent on rearing the child. To me, him being seen as an uncle figure is just fine, especially if biodad is financially secure to pay his part.
In each story their decisions negatively effects someone else.
Bunny negatively effects daughter due to them not even thinking about testing cohab before moving in together. Also imagine if instead of a rabbit it was a small dog, an animal she has with her 24/7 is now contained outside.
Worse step father: won't even put in the emotional energy for a child he will be living with, he is entering the relationship saying: I'm going to make it clear I consider this boy an unfortunate bonus to my wife
@@WiseWordsbyWiki then smartest give a solution when every1 happy.
@@FearMyLadyBits Exactly. Stepdad was being pretty reasonable and had the obviously thought this through well in advance. Not one consideration was ever mentioned regarding how the biological father might feel if another bloke was trying to satisfy the role as a primary male role model. This whole horseshit about how stepdad should be fully expected to step up is a true sign of the times. Hope he makes an exit plan. Crap like this needs push-back.
Last story: Sign language actually qualifies as another language. You can actually get a real job as a sign language translator or interpreter. It can be fun to learn and use other languages. I took German for 3 years in high school around 4 & ½ decades ago, and I can still speak a little of it. I sometimes watch foreign language movies, TV shows, and other videos in languages that I don't know. I "read" the body and facial expressions of the actors, along with reading the subtitles, and do a pretty good job of understanding what's going on. When my several years older sister was taking Spanish in school, she would sometimes have me help her with her vocabulary studies, so I actually learned a little bit of Spanish vocabulary, and still remember some of it decades later. Several decades ago there was a historical novel called Shogun, about Japan that was made into a TV mini series, with Richard Chamberlain as one of the leads. It used both English and Japanese, and I still remember a little Japanese from the show. Several decades ago I watched part of a historical fiction movie that I think took place in central America or Mexico. The dialog was all in Spanish, but even though I couldn't understand the dialogue, I wasn't having any trouble understanding the movie. I have one great regret regarding that movie, and that's that I don't remember it's name. The movie had started very late, so I got too tired to watch the whole thing. Ever since then I've been kicking myself for not remembering the name of the movie. I was enjoying it, but now I'll never know the rest of the story.😞
For those who may think that I have strayed off topic, this time I don't think I have. I've been trying to make the point that learning other languages can be fun and helpful. I used examples from my own life to help make my points.
Sorry OP that your boyfriend doesn't see the benefits of learning sign language. Maybe you could try pointing out to him that it would be like the two of you having your own secret language, as most people don't know sign language.
Cochlear implants aren't for everyone, as not everyone wants to take the risks involved. Also, in your case ywent deaf after learning to speak, and can read lips, so you have a viable alternative. As for wanting an alternative to always texting, I have big fingers, so using the tiny keyboard display on my phone is always a challenge. Fortunately, I only use it to post comments online, not to actually directly text people. I am a loner, so most of my outside contacts are family or businesses. My family and I aren't really into texting, and I prefer phone or voicemail contact with businesses. Also, I recently started getting a lot of spam texts, so I finally turned off the text message app on my phone. I decided to keep it though, in case I should ever want to use it in the future. It's so nice to not have to deal with anymore spam texts.
Maybe he just does not want to.
I wonder why the parents choose to not give her the implant as a child
When spouse got transferred around middle America, I was surrounded with conversations that were pretty much exclusively babies, trains, and high school football. I took foreign languages to keep my mind from turning to mush.
linguistics is *so bloody cool* and really important.
my oma and opa are from holland so I want to learn at least a bit of dutch, and I care about how celtic I am and am trying to learn scottish gaelic so the language doesn't die. sign language would be so useful because sometimes talking with our voices isn't the best way to communicate in some situations, like in a noisy place or if you get selective mutism. when I was in highschool I was learning how to write hiragana and katakana and while I don't speak japanese I genuinely really enjoyed writing with completely new alphabets. I find it so fun to write with different characters from the ones in english that I've written a few things in ogham and want to continue doing so. I also want to learn how to write korean characters at least a bit, too. I'm also australian and find different accents and dialects so fascinating, and how different slang is in different countries and how it reflects attitudes of the people and even a part of its history. like aussie accents are so unique because of the kinds of people grouped together, same as america, and canada, and it's _so so interesting_ . and!!! and linguists have talked about how language has evolved because of the internet, how we often write without care for conventional grammar so that we can better communicate tone, and they've talked about emojis seriously as a part of that and its SO COOL
#1 NTA Using a microwave is a chore? Leave him everything necessary for a salad. It's healthy. And it won't be a chore. You need counseling for his abuse.
I’m a little confused about the rabbit story? If the kid has a really bad allergy isnt it common sense to move the thing causing the allergy? It’s putting the pet outside, if he’s actively trying to find something nice to have the pet live in than thats better than most parents who’d simply throw it out? Like it’s not as if the dude was simply throwing it outside to the wolves, he was trying to find and make a shelter for the bunny? I just need some clarification? I’m not trying to sound rude to the child but he’s trying and I dont know if she was seeing that or if she like many of the commenters were seeing it as a family issue?
Last story: I think that what OP "heard" when he told her to get a cochlear implant rather than him learning to sign, was that he is not satisfied with her the way she is. He wants her to change for him, have surgery, take all the risks that surgery involves, including the possibility of failure, when all he has to do is learn a new skill.
1) that wasn't why OP was even mad at the suggestion so why are you adding details that weren't ibcluded. 2) so it's okay for OP to not be satisfied with him and change him to suit herself?
@@gaywerewolf1294 cochlear implants do have risks as any surgery do, and is very disruptive to deaf people who are already used to living while deaf while having mixed outcomes when done to adults born deaf (adults born deaf will not have developed auditory pathways which makes successful outcomes less likely) and is a major cost and continuing expense requiring lifetime adjustment. Its a major decision that is done after an interview process and assessments to determine viability of the procedure due to the major effort involved, not something to be suggested by a boyfriend who doesn't want to bother with learning his girlfriend's language since it seems too hard. If he doesn't want to learn communicating with her then it probably will not work out and he can date someone else, but the change to learn ESL is significantly less than her having surgery and adjusting to cochlear implants which may not even improve her quality of life.
@@gaywerewolf1294 Learning a language has exactly 0% mortality rate, unlike the rate of even the safest surgeries.
Story 3: she didn’t tell her (step) dad for a whole year and only slipped up when she was angry. I feel so bad for OP.
Kicked Cheatin Ex and Daughter out- You stop talking to the family, and NO THAT DAUGHTER IS A GROWN WOMAN. Have your lawyer draft Cease and Desist document to your Ex Wife's family, and since they are all so concerned about Your Exe and her Daughter they should take them in and if they DON'T take them in, they are monsters.
Last story: But learning is _hard!_
Still traumatised by potty training, eh?
I feel so sorry for children sometimes. They have to go along with whatever new marriage their parents have decided to enter. Their worlds get turned upside down, and NOBODY ever asks them their opinion about anything. They are just expected to adjust to the "new house", "new mom or dad" "new brother's or sister's" etc. Now, your daughter is expected to give up her pet rabbit because her "new step-brother" is allergic. I don't know what the correct answer is, I just feel really sorry for your daughter.
Reheat dinner: This relationship needs to end. A meal reheated in the microwave is just fine. Or a sandwich. Or egg and bacon.
geeeeez, my husband works 3pm to 1am and omg he comes home and never asks me to make anything, he will pop something in the microwave or reheat what I made for me and the kid. Grown men acting like a woman has to do every little thing. I could never be with a partner like that.
Signing learning :- about 10 years ago, took a 2 year course in BSL. I was terrified at first, as I had no experience of deaf/hard of hearing people and what they went through. However, as well as a profoundly deaf indtructor, we also had a "normal hearing" instructor, who was an immense help until we managed to start undestanding and using the signing. I felt that the actual signing was almost like "dancing with your hands and fingers"! Your partner should also remember that he has his own private tutor....namely YOU, OP. NTA.
Why didnt she get that implant as a child?
I just dont get why so many deaf-people are so eager to not integrate.
They rather hold therie children back and than "losing" them to the heraring people.
Its a real problem.
Also her idea of a compromise is to get it her way 100%?
But dont get me wrong, i dont understand why he doesnt want to learn sign either
@@Schwiegermutter It wouldn't have been her choice then back when she was a kid, but as a 24 year old adult who has always been deaf cochlear implants will have a significantly lower chance of success and effectiveness now, and will require significant cost and adjustment on her part for what may or may not improve quality of life. Her having to go through surgery and lifelong adaptation to cochlear implants which is a drawn out process is a lot more impact to her life and effort than him learning ESL (which his justification for not doing is he feels it might be too hard).
@@Schwiegermutter Think about it this way: he can learn her language and she cannot learn his language.
Honest question here: why do people think it’s “cruel” to kick cheating, gold digger partners out of your house?
Naw OP NTA, but seriously ya, stop talking to your ex in laws.
Last story: I met my husband online. He is ESL. For the first part of our relationship, we typed as he wasn't that comfortable speaking in English. During that time I learned some of his language. I'm still not great at it, but honestly the way his face lighted up when I was able to order in his language when visiting him in his country was worth it. OP's BF should want to learn his GF's language to be closer to her. They are only 5 months in and he's already trying to change her so that he doesn't have to learn another language. Like, yah, learning sign language won't be easy, but like, learning 100 different words in sign language is a low bar and would greatly improve their communication with each other so much. She isn't asking him to be fluent, she's asking him to try, and he can't even meet that far. She shouldn't waste any more time on that relationship.
Yeah having risky and unwanted brain surgery is the same as learning a language, what a butt. And i have heard many deaf people say that choclear implants have their drawbacks and it’s not really the same as what a hearing person experiences. Also I don’t know if an adult could just go to an implant when they have never had one, that part of their brain has never experienced hearing and it may not even really work like it would when a little kid gets one. That brain plasticity is not nearly the same as an adult as it is as a small child.
S1)Reason number 9999 why I'll never become a stay at home wife/mother ... No amount of love would make me put up with that disrespectful, demeaning, immature man wow.
Honestly I don’t think the guy whose is setting boundaries on being a stepdad is TA. It’s not like he’s going to mistreat him and he doesn’t have to step into the big financial role because the kids dad is in the picture. He’s just letting her know what he’ll be comfortable doing and nothing is wrong with that cause really the kid isn’t his
@@SnowyWolborg it honestly is. And that’s without mentioning the attitude and back talk that comes a stepparents way. Now this man want to set his boundaries and not overstep like some SP do they want to criticize him for that
There really should be anti cuckoo laws to protect fathers tbh. It's really unfair to trick a man into providing for a child that isn't his, by convincing him that they are biologically related. Both partners should always be aware of their relationship to their children because it has a big impact on the medical history of the kids as well as the emotional well being of the parents. It's good for people to take care of kids that aren't theirs of course--but they should be aware of their relation or lack thereof, especially if it will affect their parenting or life.
Like, if a dude would rather leave if the child isn't his, I don't think it's wrong for him to bail even if it sucks for the child. He should be given that choice. Not tricked into caring for the cuckoo child by being told it's totally his.
@@SonicdaShapeshifter I see your point and I agree but laws like that will never be enacted as long as a man can pay for a test to determine if the child is his. I do still feel bad for OP in the story, as I know he (probably) didn't have the option of testing DNA when "his daughter" was born, but "anti-cuckoo" laws wouldn't be retroactive.
I don't know about all states but California will make the man acting as father responsible for the child after a certain period, no matter the paternity.
I think OP needs to speak with a lawyer, as he may have a case IF he can prove the soon-to-be ex-wife deliberately mislead him into believing the child was his, but I think that'd be a tough case to get evidence of, and prove intent, on.
Deaf to logic: OP's boyfriend is TA. An implant is a big step, and some effort towards your comfort has to also happen to show that there's compromise, respect and reciprocation.
2nd story NAH. They aren’t even throwing out the rabbit. They’re just building a second house for it outside. They converted her entire closet into a room/bunny pad for it. He was not wrong for suggesting anything, or asking. They just need to work something out. Idk what’s wrong with all the commenters.
Last story
What OPs boyfriend is really missing is that either way one of them is going to be learning a language. Obviously he would be learning sign, but he's completely ignoring that since OP was deaf from birth even if she could suddenly miraculously hear perfectly she would still have to learn English using a sense she has never used/had before.
Imagine being blind from birth and in your 20s getting your sight, then being told to learn how to read and write to communicate with your SO.
So at this point, with her getting her hearing back through a miracle it's still skewed to being easier for him than. Learning to use your hands to talk, when you've had full functionality of them your entire life, should be easier than learning how to speak when you've never heard a single word in any language... However it's not a miracle by which OPs boyfriend expects her to be able to suddenly hear in her 20s, he expects her to undergo surgery. Granted it's not exactly brain surgery but it is still surgery on part of your skull.
If she were to even qualify and have the massive amount of cash lying around to pay for it. Cochlear implants only take the place of damaged cochlear hairs. My cousin is missing two of three bones in one ear, and one of three in the other. Implants won't correct that. Plus, the sound overload and overstimulation adults experience when suddenly being able to hear for the first time (the world is LOUD) often causes anxiety, depression, and headaches and can lead to severe agoraphobia and even suicide, IF they don't reject.
Correct. Even if she could suddenly hear perfectly her brain would have no idea how to process that information. It would likely take her years to understand the sounds she is hearing. Not just language. Think of all the sounds you hear all the time but never really register. A car driving by, the wind, birds chirping, the hum of your refrigerator. She wouldn't have any idea what any of these sounds are.
I saw a movie once where a guy was blind from birth. Some surgery gave him his sight. He couldn't tell the difference between and apple and a picture of an apple without touching it. He had to train his brain to understand the input.
If the step son is that allergic, putting bunny outside won't solve the problem. The daughter cuddles her pet; that means her clothing, hair and skin will be covered in hair and dander.
The rabbit story... Christ how bad does the stepson feel to be less of a priority than a rabbit. It sounds like a life threatening allergy for crying out loud.
Some of these Reddit responses are ludicrous 🤦♀️. Especially the one about the rabbit. Jesus, that dad is putting the rabbit outside in a insulated shed not putting it down or in the gutter. And people want him to divorce over a rabbit 🤦♀️. Dodo birds.
EXACTLY like imagine bringing his dead wife in this bullshit.
Bunny barn!! Love that.
Rabbit story: that commenter saying that OP’s stepson needs to accept that the world doesn’t revolve around his allergies, and yet in another story, everyone was calling the OP an AH for not wanting to rehome his cat because his wife suddenly developed an allergy to it. Reddit is full of double standards. Like, why is one person told that their allergies don’t matter, and another person is told that their allergies should be catered to?
In this story, OP is trying to find a compromise so they don’t have to rehome the rabbit whilst not risking the stepson’s health. It’s not an unreasonable request. They can build the rabbit a really nice set up out in the garden.
Because Reddit also believes that support animals get the highest amount of defense when it comes to a kid with a dead parent.
And I agree that getting rid of the rabbit without trying woukd be an AH move... but then I would have to ignore that:
-OP is trying to compromise
-they went to a doctor for advice
-the stepson could potentially die from this allergy
-the mom has been dead for 6 years and OP and his new wife were long distance dating for years after that
-the son didnt realize he was allergic to rabbits
-Op sounds fond of the rabbit too (likening it to a cat, building it it's own room, trying to build it it's own shed, etc.)
Too bad reddit suffers with reading comprehension
Story about the soon to be stepson the kid has a father that's in his life and taking care of him. Op didn't say he wouldnt get the kid birthday or Xmas gifts just he wasn't going to be a father more like an uncle. What's the problem with that? All the yta comments really need to get a clue about real life.
Bro SHE CHEATED WITH 3 DUDES AT ONCE that’s not exactly an accident or a product of being “young and dumb”
Story 1: Reheating food is not a chore. As a lazy person myself if I could just stick all my meals in the microwave and have all the nutrition I need and without plastic polluting the planet, I would. As an adult he should be just as embarrassed at needing/wanting her to get up and reheat his food for him as needing/wanting her to get up and dress him for bed and brush his teeth for him. Honestly, I don't believe he thinks himself incapable (he has a demanding job but can't work a microwave?) and I don't believe he's just being lazy either (again, he has a very unlazy job and it's literally the easiest and quickest way to feed yourself). I think he just wants to enforce a 1950s model of gender roles that he feels entitled to. He didn't go to bed hungry because he wasn't capable, he did it deliberately out of spite. Hurting yourself to make the other person feel guilty is the lowest and stupidest form of pettiness.
Sign language is hard, but the cash, various appointments, device cost/maintenance, surgery, post op, learning to overcome anxiety from hearing everything until u develop a white noise filter, navigating tone and various accents, yep not hard. In fact, he won't feel a thing.
Rabbit Story confused me. Why is there so many YTA??? Its not like he made her get rid of the rabbit, she still has her beloved pet it just has to move. She can be out there with it all the time, and leash train it to be with her in the yard. If they make a little run for it, it will be on the grass and probably be happier honestly.
I find it rare to think that an ambulance service is non-stop for an entire shift, I know plenty of paramedics who work shifts like a Fire Department, which, also, does not run non-stop the full shifts.....They do a lot of busy work and training, but for him to say he needs her to wake up and coddle him....well....I just have to laugh at the poor poor bAAAby (note the whinge in that word!)
1st story: Get rid of that man yesterday. 2nd story: unpopular opinion, NTA. He’s not getting rid of the rabbit, but safely changing it’s environment. Given the update a “bunny barn” is a good compromise. If he puts in a couch for daughter to hang out, that’s better than anything. Last story: Ableist asshole. He doesn’t respect you. Dump him.
How much you wanna bet that Fluffy will "accidentally" escape in the middle of the night, to never be seen again? I wouldn't trust Douchebag Dad to throw both bunny and daughter under the bus so he can have his shiny new family.
@@joeschmo622 so he should let a kid die so his daughter can keep her bunny? Great idea.
Story 2, he is the asshole, I'm a father and am currently going through a divorce I would prefer to be alone for the rest of my life then do anything that would hurt my daughter, his daughter loves the rabbit as stated she has a bunny ramp onto her bed. she loves that rabbit and now because he doesn't want to be alone her best friend who no doubt got her through her loss of her mother has to live outside. If this was a dog and was her emotional support animal and the step brother was allergic would you say that the dog now has to live outside ? Or would you say that she needs that dog for her mental health 🤔. Op is a massive asshole
@@dramuckus so kill off a kid and divorce your wife for a pet rabbit? You’re going to be a great parent.
@@dramuckus Look, the bunny was just moved, like, five meters away, not being sent into a shelter. Daughter can can spent hours or most of her days with the bunny, she just can´t sleep in the same room with it again. And if she´s that attached to her bunny that she couldn´t sleep without it, she needed help to slowly distance herself because that level of dependency is not healthy and she already got the rabbit for 5 years, a rabbit´s lifespan is around 5-10 years, it can died anytime and then what? How will the daughter survive if she can´t even life with her pets a few meters away?
Keeping yourself alive is not a chore and not anyone else’s responsibility
You would never treat a servan like that, zuzu is my chef she is a lovely africal lady would never even dream of treating her like that, hell she works 11 -7 would never ask her to cook outside those hours.
Lying mom and daughter.
Funny how the comments are "she is still a kid, don't be harsh" the girl is 18 yo. If this was a controlling parent or making her follow some rules at home it would be, you are a adult, you are 18 and they cannot control you. You need to leave, you are not a child and they should not be telling you what to do.
Y'all are hilarious, depending on the benefits, 18 yo can change at the drop of a hat.
She only told him in a attempt to hurt him, not coming clean with this life long secret from guilt.
Story Two - The Rabbit:
I've noticed that no one in the comments on the post, or here for that matter, really have a solution for this story. Most of them are just saying how the adults are assholes and the daughter will hate her Dad, but nothing in the way of a work around or concrete solution.
Yeah, there should have been more planning, but that's neither here from there, they need a solution now. I don't have one either. I think the Dad's plan, in the update, is at least a good start though.
Write down his mommies and 911 and put it on the refrigerator and tell him to call them when he needs food.
I don’t understand some of these people and their apparent need to remain in an abusive relationship. There’s working through minor issues, getting therapy for major issues and then there’s self abuse by being too terrified to call it quits.
Next thing you know its gonna be forcing the girl to get rid of it and when she says no she will come home and its been given away by dad or step mom for HER sons safety. Then the daughter will truly hate them all.
Did you not listen to the story at all? He's *converting the shed into a bunny condo.* He's trying to do the right thing by *everyone.* Good *lord,* do you *want* the boy to die of asphyxiation?
He made his bed.he should lay in it.
STOP CALLING OLDER TEENS "CHILDREN," they are legally adults, at least in the US, and will go to jail for any crimes therefore, NOT CHILDREN but YOUNG adults!!! It is SO wrong to wipe away their actions by saying, "they are children." They aren't
It’s a rabbit… a pet. He’s not giving it away! He’s not killing it! Life sucks, hard choices have to be made at times. The bunny goes in the barn and the daughter can visit it. Good solution dad. Good job! Everybody else being mean needs to stop being the A!
Story#1 . After major abdominal surgery, a close female needed bed rest for 2 weeks then slow rehab. I volunteered to cook dinner for husband and HIS kids ( 13-16). Everyone was told dinner was ready, help themselves (wok meal, choice of sides)and I took her meal to bedroom. She asked if I had given her husband his meal ( he had been sitting on couch, watching tv, nursing 3rd or 4th drink) she tried to get out if bed to serve him, I told her I'd take care of it. As I walked try kitchen, he calls " where's my dinner". I told him he didn't really want me to bring him his dinner, did he?? He finally looked at my face, got up and miraculously filled a plate, walked back to his seat and mumbled thanks. He would have worn it had I'd had to dish it up.
Daughter drama: I'm surprised the dramatic daughter lasted a year before giving the game away. This is very messed up. Help the 'daughter' to find a job or a home with these relatives. Children don't spoil themselves and OP is to blame for that too.
I know it's the correct definition for a male widow, but widower sounds so intentional. My brain processes it as widow maker.
Dude can't be bothered to put a container in the microwave, that wife has to get up and do it for him? Him 'going hungry' is just his own stubbornness. I seriously hope that he's just on edge from a high stress job. But if this is a pattern and he's not getting help, OP needs to get out.
Rabbit allergies are extreme and i have a child who was extremely sorry folks but you can or should protect somene from dying
So you asked if your the idiot for kicking your daughters bunny out, your pointed out you rushed into this situation and should step back in your relationship, you come back with I get why I’m an idiot but I’m doing it anyway.
🙄
For the last story: He doesn't have to learn ASl as well she doesn't have to get the cochlear implant therefore neither are the YTA. It's just not going to work out.
Learning *ASL* = not a surgery, and actually a beneficial life skill.
Telling your SO to get a neurotransmitter implanted in their head because you are too lazy to learn Sign: Entitled, ableist, self absorbed - and that's IF she qualifies for one, it takes, she's got several tens of thousand kicking around to pay for it and the subsequent rehabilitation therapy, and it doesn't cause her to become overstimulated, depressed, and have headaches or it rejects (all common in adults). He's an asshole, and an entitled one at that.
@Gi Gi It's fair to say she wanted him to change as well. Not everyone can easily learn a new language when they are older. He was okay with current mode of communication. She wanted something different so he countered. Same as when one partner wants to leave the country for job/school when the other partner doesn't. It just was not going to work out. She can find someone else that can learn or already knows ASL. Same with him. If he knows he cannot change his way of communicating with someone with a disability, then he needs to find someone else.
@Gi Gi Just because she asked nicely doesn't mean it wasn't a demand.
@Gi Gi I speak Spanish fluently and my bf only speaks English. I never asked him once to learn Spanish so I can speak more comfortably but he did any way just because he wanted to. I accidentally slip into Spanish sometimes but he understands. I would never tell him to just learn a few Spanish words for my own sake.
@Gi Gi ASL is a language like any other, just done differently. Learning a few signs isn't what she's looking for. She said she got tired of communicating via message. She wants more. Having a disability doesn't automatically entitle you ask someone to accommodate you (unless it's general public stuff like ramps and signs). She can always find someone else that is willing to learn. That probably means that person loves her enough to change his way.