The parents knew, they just decided to repress the memories for some reason. What that reason is, I have no damned clue. The sister struck her mother multiple times, and what about cigarette burns? Mom and dad knew what was going on.
Guilt. I grew up in an ab*sive home. I was the scapegoat, anything that happened was my fault even if I wasn't there. I was the first to cut contact, few years after that my siblings did the same. My big sister blames me and says that I deserved all of it or that it didn't happen, my big brothers say they didn't know the extent of the ab*se. My big sister can have a clear conscience, because if I deserved it or it didn't happen she did nothing wrong. My big brothers weren't aware so there was nothing they could have done. I am a reminder of what they did and what they turned their backs to. It is easier for them to blame me and to cut me out. All my siblings think that our parents owe me an apology and that I should forgive them. My parents have apologised (they blamed me, it was my fault, I made them do it, I bring out the worst in them). So according to everyone in my family I am owed an apology and I need to forgive, but I also deserved all of it, and that none of it happened. Just in my parents minds all of this is true at once. I am better off without them.
Story 1.therapy never worked on the sister, bc the sister sees no wrong in her actions. There's a joke about many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? The number is inconsequential, the bulb has to want to change.
Given the "family forgives everything" rhetoric and mention of Puerto Rica, I'm guessing they're a religious household and 'therapy' wasn't with actual licensed therapists but instead with 'Christian Councillors" that focus on pushing traditional roles and a facade of wholesomeness. Examples would be children being loving and subservient to parents regardless of scapegoating and abuse, ditto to women with their husbands, and you're at fault and must apologize if you don't follow along and unconditionally forgive your abusers.
My mother is the same, she let her golden child torment me, in front of her, but now she claims she doesn’t remember. She does, it’s just an excuse to get out of any responsibility by pretending to not know what’s going on.
completely different situation, but after a bad relationship with my mom for 8 years we reconciled. She just "doesnt remember" any of the big fights. I had a choice to get over it or stay upset because an apology was never coming.
@@kaidenskibidiarc nah, I don’t believe in forgiveness. Especially in my family, it’s seen as a sign of weakness. No amount of yubitsume nor even seppuku will redeem you, your mistakes are forever and you never live it down in my household. Just how I was raised.
Story 1: no one knew what made the psycho sister the way she is. But, there doesn't always need to be an outside factor; some people are just born wrong.
They were why the way she was. They pampered her, forgived her for stealing from and harming them, letting her get her way by lying and manipulating them. They are part of the rot
10:42 absolute malarky. mom knew. There's no way mom didn't know. It's just easier to process as "oh god a new thing I learned" and get off the hook. And now she's making her child comfort HER. gross.
S1 They need op. They need op to absorb the abuse. They are now aging parents with an enraged beast amongst them. Good luck with that. I'm so glad op figured out her parents were full of it when they denied knowing, that's totally a mind (expletive)
Exactly! The parents have been in denial because they know they failed both their children. And now that their abuser is a grown adult with an equally (or probably worse) abusive partner, they want to use OP as a shield because they're too old to even do anything now. When I read that OPs parents both came from abusive homes (Both granddads were abusive drunks) and the fact they never physically disciplined OP or her sister, it explained a lot of the mom's perspective and "realization" that OP didnt catch on. It made me think that they're reliving trauma and they've done their damnest to suppress it. OP is just constantly reminding them that they failed her, they failed her sister, and now they're gonna be stuck with the same kind of monster they've tried to avoid.
They've always done that, but that's "family business" or "dirty laundry" that people don't need to know about. People can be absolutely vile behind closed doors
It's a common misconception that forgiveness is the the offending person when forgiveness is for the one who forgives. Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick.
*OP didn't want her parents to feel like terrible parents* *Discovers later that incidents did happen in front of them but they didn't care* Let's go with the original assumption that none of this happened in front of OP's parents and they never knew as a result. They're STILL terrible parents because that's the job of parents.
They saw the abuse but did nothing. They didn't see the abuse and now want OP to stay with her abuser. They saw the abuse, tried to do something, but still failed to protect OP from the abuser that was her sister. They know that their daughter is a cruel, vicious, abusive psycho but the parents are STILL trying to rugsweep everything because they don't want to deal with her in their old age, essentially asking OP to be their shield when the abuser gets violent. There's literally no excuse these parents can use to try to get sympathy or ask OP anything from her. They are terrible parents. And you'd think that OP, at 8 years old, in a public space with other people, screaming that she was scared that her sister would kill her, would have given them a hint that something was wrong smh
This is a great Video. This brings back painful memories which i have been enduring. My relationship of 5 years ended 3 months ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
I am sorry about what you have been through. I have been through something similar and was almost depressed, till I contacted a spiritual counsellor who helped me get my ex back and hence my life back
Online, you'll find shelly renee white, revered for her expertise as a spiritual counsellor. She has the ability to reunite couples and promote holistic well-being
The opposite of love is hate and he feels nothing because she was doing it for a while so he was breaking away slower and slower but the divorce papers were the breaking point
S1: The parents must have just not paid attention to their kids at all. And OP didn’t “drop a bombshell” - he told them the truth that they needed time hear.
Shit, OP has CPTSD from his sister’s behavior. I’m glad he is getting help. Man…. I totally understand OP. He has no self confidence because of all the bullying from his sister and he has no faith anyone can/will do anything for him about it because the parents never did a damn thing.
Story 1: Me personally I would sue my "sister" in this scenario because OP has already gone through enough crap. Personally if I was OP I would have sued her for emotional abuse and physical abuse. I'm pretty sure you can get her at least a bit of jail time if you do go to court, it's not right to suffer in silence for god knows how many years. Edit: Take screenshots of her messages and if you sue her that is concrete evidence
S1: The reason the sister turned out like that is because she had no repercussions. She was spoiled rotten and wasn't told no. She wasn't taught how to act and her parents made lies to let her get away with things
Story 1. OP's parents are horrible guardians. Her mother is terrible, her father is terrible. If they truly were even half-decent parents they would have noticed. Either they decided to repress OP's pain, or just don't care. It is impossible for a person to love their child and not notice what she is going through. As for OP's sister, she a psychopath. A poster child of Narcissist Personality Disorder. There is technically nothing "wrong" with her. It is her nature, she can't change it. The only right action is to remove her from her life. ***** Story 2. My biggest fear in dating. I can never trust women with my heart. Which sucks because I'm straight. But the reality is while I'm steadfast and follow a code of ethics that I will never break, I can't trust that women would be the same. All it takes is a momentary discussion and they could rewrite history in their minds to fit their narrative. Seen time and time again respectful women who are happily married turn and say their husbands were abusers to cover their cheating. Seen guys breakdown because they were foolish enough to trust their wives with their entire lives. Of course not all women, and I lnow there are a lot of owmen out there that are great people. But I rather not end up as fool. It just not worth the dice roll.
S1: How can people don't believe the mom didn't know? She does remember the ONE time OP harmed the evil incarnate but not the thousands of times OP almost got killed? OP literally described an abuse situation that the mom had to physically shield OP from the evil spawn but she says she never knew?
Story 1- "your sister will be all you have left when we die" - op's parents. "Thanks. My anxiety and insomnia will love to chew on that while I lie awake at night." 🙃 Story 2 - screw that, lol. What happened is she took her chance with a serious relationship with her affair partner and he said "lol". She likely knows how rough the dating game is for someone newly divorced. Good for op. He chose self respect.
They knew. They always known! They ignored it because they didn't want to ruin the status quo. And maybe they loved the sister more to top things off. They turned a blind eye because at least the sister wasn't abusing them
S2: When they say they want “closure” it never means they want closure for you, they only want to feel better about themselves. Never give them “closure”.
S1: they knew enough to watch their child and make sure to look out for her. If the mom was attacked protecting op, how did the mom not get it? I think they were too upset by the prospect to internalize what happened to OP.
First story: They knew. They knew it ALL. They just chose to ignore it because, at least it wasn't happening to them. Partly because for some reason, the sister is the favorite. Or maybe because they want to maintain that family image. It doesn't matter why. All that matters that they knew, didn't do anything to stop it, and are still allowing it to continue. OP said the only way she is going to visit her family home is when her sister is dead or moved out. Frankly I wouldn't visit at all. The parents are enablers and are too far gone to see how damaged everything is. It's just 'it wasn't that big of a deal' and 'forgive and forget' mentality. Unless genuine action is taken I wouldn't trust them at all
idk why OP in story 1 doesn't see it as worse that her parents didn't even know what was going on like i'd be even madder i feel like cause that is neglect it's obvious that is a lie there is no way they didn't know
"Therapists said there was nothing wrong with her" Bullshit. I guarantee that the Therapists did say that there were plenty of things wrong with her and the parents just didn't want to admit that their golden child was a effing monster.
Nah I don't think it's a brag. As someone who once upon a time bartended I can tell you that these delusional women are willing to jump on any guy who gives them attention. They feed off it and it's an addiction. They chase the high and don't care what ruin they leave in their wake. Disgusting.
First 5 minutes were like “ she hit me in front of my mom hit my mom locked me in a room with my mom and slit her wrist” the mom “ I didn’t know she would beat you “ like be for real
@@novathefallenstarwarriorassuming your asking what it means judged by 12 is for the amount of jurors in a jury, and 6 if for the amount of people who carry a casket
The parents were claiming they didn't know they knew everything they're delusional and ignoring the blank obvious signs because they don't want their family to look bad. This is one of those cases where you just go to court and have the sister committed and the parents well the law will deal with them
My sister abused be too, still does and my Mom says she doesn't remember anything too. I think that parents block what they don't want to remember out like a selective amnesia.
My mom says she didn’t know. She did. Seen it all. I moved out at 16 and by the time I was 18 my little sister, who had it much worse than me, was living with me. We are NC with my mother. She can rot.
13:37 it sounds like theres a history of memory repression in the whole family. Op forgets some pretty bad incidents, and the mom forgot all or most of the instances that happened to OP
The parents knew, they just decided to repress the memories for some reason. What that reason is, I have no damned clue. The sister struck her mother multiple times, and what about cigarette burns? Mom and dad knew what was going on.
Denial is a powerful force.
shit people make shit kids, enough said
OP parents knew but didn't want to know.
Guilt. I grew up in an ab*sive home. I was the scapegoat, anything that happened was my fault even if I wasn't there.
I was the first to cut contact, few years after that my siblings did the same. My big sister blames me and says that I deserved all of it or that it didn't happen, my big brothers say they didn't know the extent of the ab*se. My big sister can have a clear conscience, because if I deserved it or it didn't happen she did nothing wrong. My big brothers weren't aware so there was nothing they could have done. I am a reminder of what they did and what they turned their backs to. It is easier for them to blame me and to cut me out.
All my siblings think that our parents owe me an apology and that I should forgive them. My parents have apologised (they blamed me, it was my fault, I made them do it, I bring out the worst in them). So according to everyone in my family I am owed an apology and I need to forgive, but I also deserved all of it, and that none of it happened. Just in my parents minds all of this is true at once.
I am better off without them.
My Mom did this with my sisters abuse.
Story 1.therapy never worked on the sister, bc the sister sees no wrong in her actions.
There's a joke about many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? The number is inconsequential, the bulb has to want to change.
Given the "family forgives everything" rhetoric and mention of Puerto Rica, I'm guessing they're a religious household and 'therapy' wasn't with actual licensed therapists but instead with 'Christian Councillors" that focus on pushing traditional roles and a facade of wholesomeness. Examples would be children being loving and subservient to parents regardless of scapegoating and abuse, ditto to women with their husbands, and you're at fault and must apologize if you don't follow along and unconditionally forgive your abusers.
My mother is the same, she let her golden child torment me, in front of her, but now she claims she doesn’t remember. She does, it’s just an excuse to get out of any responsibility by pretending to not know what’s going on.
completely different situation, but after a bad relationship with my mom for 8 years we reconciled. She just "doesnt remember" any of the big fights. I had a choice to get over it or stay upset because an apology was never coming.
@@Thaddius0 good for you. For me though I have enough self respect left to not accept that I’m just supposed to take it and get over it.
@@jmcg9822 my sympathies. Never forgive, never forget.
@@princessmarlena1359 you should forgive but cut contact with people like that
@@kaidenskibidiarc nah, I don’t believe in forgiveness. Especially in my family, it’s seen as a sign of weakness. No amount of yubitsume nor even seppuku will redeem you, your mistakes are forever and you never live it down in my household. Just how I was raised.
Story 1: no one knew what made the psycho sister the way she is. But, there doesn't always need to be an outside factor; some people are just born wrong.
Nature vs Nuture
They were why the way she was. They pampered her, forgived her for stealing from and harming them, letting her get her way by lying and manipulating them. They are part of the rot
no the reason is kind of in the title,
she is the golden child and her behaviour was enabled
Enabling parents are what happened to her.
"some people are just born wrong"
That's the stupidest thing i've read all day, congratulations
10:42 absolute malarky. mom knew. There's no way mom didn't know. It's just easier to process as "oh god a new thing I learned" and get off the hook. And now she's making her child comfort HER. gross.
S1 They need op. They need op to absorb the abuse. They are now aging parents with an enraged beast amongst them. Good luck with that. I'm so glad op figured out her parents were full of it when they denied knowing, that's totally a mind (expletive)
Exactly! The parents have been in denial because they know they failed both their children. And now that their abuser is a grown adult with an equally (or probably worse) abusive partner, they want to use OP as a shield because they're too old to even do anything now. When I read that OPs parents both came from abusive homes (Both granddads were abusive drunks) and the fact they never physically disciplined OP or her sister, it explained a lot of the mom's perspective and "realization" that OP didnt catch on. It made me think that they're reliving trauma and they've done their damnest to suppress it. OP is just constantly reminding them that they failed her, they failed her sister, and now they're gonna be stuck with the same kind of monster they've tried to avoid.
“But she’s family!”
“Oh so when did family start attacking and assault long eachother?”
They've always done that, but that's "family business" or "dirty laundry" that people don't need to know about. People can be absolutely vile behind closed doors
St 1: OPs parents were in depression themselves and ignored anything that didnt directly affect them
Not an excuse regardless.
They also ignored everything that did directly affect them. They were also abused by that “golden child” of theirs but they chose to ignore it.
@@JessicaBrantley-bc4vvbecause "family" they must've been in deep denial.
Story one:
Sister needs to be in federal prison. For a decade. GenPop.
The parents knew.
Fuck forgiveness
Exactly
Thank you
You can't excuse or forgive the sisters' actions
What the parents and sister did was unforgivable.
It's a common misconception that forgiveness is the the offending person when forgiveness is for the one who forgives. Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick.
*OP didn't want her parents to feel like terrible parents*
*Discovers later that incidents did happen in front of them but they didn't care*
Let's go with the original assumption that none of this happened in front of OP's parents and they never knew as a result. They're STILL terrible parents because that's the job of parents.
They saw the abuse but did nothing.
They didn't see the abuse and now want OP to stay with her abuser.
They saw the abuse, tried to do something, but still failed to protect OP from the abuser that was her sister.
They know that their daughter is a cruel, vicious, abusive psycho but the parents are STILL trying to rugsweep everything because they don't want to deal with her in their old age, essentially asking OP to be their shield when the abuser gets violent.
There's literally no excuse these parents can use to try to get sympathy or ask OP anything from her. They are terrible parents. And you'd think that OP, at 8 years old, in a public space with other people, screaming that she was scared that her sister would kill her, would have given them a hint that something was wrong smh
Story 1 sister is a sociopath..
This is a great Video. This brings back painful memories which i have been enduring. My relationship of 5 years ended 3 months ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
I am sorry about what you have been through. I have been through something similar and was almost depressed, till I contacted a spiritual counsellor who helped me get my ex back and hence my life back
Interesting. Who is this counsellor, and how do I meet the person?
Online, you'll find shelly renee white, revered for her expertise as a spiritual counsellor. She has the ability to reunite couples and promote holistic well-being
Story 1.....her parents are lying. They knew. They just needed you to take the abuse so your sister wouldn't go after them.
Story 1- Parents knew- they are still lying.
They knew what kind of monster she was
They created that monster.
story 2 the opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference, the fact you feel nothing says it all for you
The opposite of love is hate and he feels nothing because she was doing it for a while so he was breaking away slower and slower but the divorce papers were the breaking point
S1: The parents must have just not paid attention to their kids at all. And OP didn’t “drop a bombshell” - he told them the truth that they needed time hear.
Shit, OP has CPTSD from his sister’s behavior. I’m glad he is getting help.
Man…. I totally understand OP. He has no self confidence because of all the bullying from his sister and he has no faith anyone can/will do anything for him about it because the parents never did a damn thing.
Story 1: Me personally I would sue my "sister" in this scenario because OP has already gone through enough crap. Personally if I was OP I would have sued her for emotional abuse and physical abuse. I'm pretty sure you can get her at least a bit of jail time if you do go to court, it's not right to suffer in silence for god knows how many years.
Edit: Take screenshots of her messages and if you sue her that is concrete evidence
S1: The reason the sister turned out like that is because she had no repercussions. She was spoiled rotten and wasn't told no. She wasn't taught how to act and her parents made lies to let her get away with things
🏆
Story 1. OP's parents are horrible guardians. Her mother is terrible, her father is terrible. If they truly were even half-decent parents they would have noticed.
Either they decided to repress OP's pain, or just don't care. It is impossible for a person to love their child and not notice what she is going through.
As for OP's sister, she a psychopath. A poster child of Narcissist Personality Disorder. There is technically nothing "wrong" with her. It is her nature, she can't change it. The only right action is to remove her from her life.
*****
Story 2. My biggest fear in dating. I can never trust women with my heart. Which sucks because I'm straight. But the reality is while I'm steadfast and follow a code of ethics that I will never break, I can't trust that women would be the same.
All it takes is a momentary discussion and they could rewrite history in their minds to fit their narrative. Seen time and time again respectful women who are happily married turn and say their husbands were abusers to cover their cheating. Seen guys breakdown because they were foolish enough to trust their wives with their entire lives.
Of course not all women, and I lnow there are a lot of owmen out there that are great people. But I rather not end up as fool. It just not worth the dice roll.
They knew
And didn’t care.
Mom pretending to not know. 😡
I’m pretty sure she a psychopath
S1: How can people don't believe the mom didn't know? She does remember the ONE time OP harmed the evil incarnate but not the thousands of times OP almost got killed? OP literally described an abuse situation that the mom had to physically shield OP from the evil spawn but she says she never knew?
There are none so blind as those who will not see.
Isn't it "None are so blind as those who refuse to see"?
@@Bikurine There are various versions, which is why I quoted indirectly.
"we have no idea why she's the way she is" Yes you do. Incredibly poor parenting, living in denial and inability to pay attention.
Story 1- They knew. They always knew.
Story 1 : the mother knew but just was in deep denial.
Anyone else thinks the OP mom is lying? That way instead of facing her chosen ignorance and face the music she gets to get comfort from her daughter
Story 1- "your sister will be all you have left when we die" - op's parents.
"Thanks. My anxiety and insomnia will love to chew on that while I lie awake at night." 🙃
Story 2 - screw that, lol. What happened is she took her chance with a serious relationship with her affair partner and he said "lol". She likely knows how rough the dating game is for someone newly divorced. Good for op. He chose self respect.
They knew. They always known! They ignored it because they didn't want to ruin the status quo. And maybe they loved the sister more to top things off.
They turned a blind eye because at least the sister wasn't abusing them
S2: When they say they want “closure” it never means they want closure for you, they only want to feel better about themselves. Never give them “closure”.
S1: they knew enough to watch their child and make sure to look out for her. If the mom was attacked protecting op, how did the mom not get it? I think they were too upset by the prospect to internalize what happened to OP.
First story: They knew. They knew it ALL. They just chose to ignore it because, at least it wasn't happening to them. Partly because for some reason, the sister is the favorite. Or maybe because they want to maintain that family image. It doesn't matter why. All that matters that they knew, didn't do anything to stop it, and are still allowing it to continue.
OP said the only way she is going to visit her family home is when her sister is dead or moved out. Frankly I wouldn't visit at all. The parents are enablers and are too far gone to see how damaged everything is. It's just 'it wasn't that big of a deal' and 'forgive and forget' mentality. Unless genuine action is taken I wouldn't trust them at all
idk why OP in story 1 doesn't see it as worse that her parents didn't even know what was going on
like i'd be even madder i feel like
cause that is neglect
it's obvious that is a lie
there is no way they didn't know
If OP phrased it like that, them not knowing in itself is abuse, mom would change her "excuse" real quick.
"Therapists said there was nothing wrong with her"
Bullshit.
I guarantee that the Therapists did say that there were plenty of things wrong with her and the parents just didn't want to admit that their golden child was a effing monster.
That's willful obliviousness on the parents side. There is NO WAY they didn't know what the sister did.
22:00 unsolicited shameless humble brag 💀
Nah I don't think it's a brag. As someone who once upon a time bartended I can tell you that these delusional women are willing to jump on any guy who gives them attention. They feed off it and it's an addiction. They chase the high and don't care what ruin they leave in their wake.
Disgusting.
First 5 minutes were like “ she hit me in front of my mom hit my mom locked me in a room with my mom and slit her wrist” the mom “ I didn’t know she would beat you “ like be for real
Story one … it’s better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6 … just saying
Care to elaborate further on the saying??
@@novathefallenstarwarriorassuming your asking what it means judged by 12 is for the amount of jurors in a jury, and 6 if for the amount of people who carry a casket
The parents were claiming they didn't know they knew everything they're delusional and ignoring the blank obvious signs because they don't want their family to look bad. This is one of those cases where you just go to court and have the sister committed and the parents well the law will deal with them
My sister abused be too, still does and my Mom says she doesn't remember anything too. I think that parents block what they don't want to remember out like a selective amnesia.
How can the Psychiatrist's claim there is nothing wrong with OPs sister?
You know what I'm not a fan of destroying women's confidence but this is a prime example why I will never ever
Story1 : parents knew.
My mom says she didn’t know. She did. Seen it all. I moved out at 16 and by the time I was 18 my little sister, who had it much worse than me, was living with me. We are NC with my mother. She can rot.
This guy. Making me want to play minecraft again when i just installed ark.
Story 1: Parents suck at being parents because they chose not to protect OP from evil, narcissistic sister!
13:37 it sounds like theres a history of memory repression in the whole family. Op forgets some pretty bad incidents, and the mom forgot all or most of the instances that happened to OP
She knew and she ignored it and your sister is a psychopath
Your parents have obviously decided to stick by your sister no matter what, even at your cost
U could have technically called the cops on ur sister
She shoulda called a coroner but she’s so broken I feel for her
Story 1:
OP = NTA
The World's Smallest Violins 👌🏻🎻👌🏻🎻👌🏻 for bio - _"parents"_
She probably saw the wil
19:10 WHAT
Is this real?
rehad she can stay there till she 40
Most people dont have what it takes to be good parents. And shouldnt have the right to have kids...change my mind.