This is hands down the most helpful thing I’ve found on the internet about this. Perhaps it’s because I too am a 6w7 with 4 and 1 in my tri-type and am an INFJ. I have seasons where I think I’m a 1 or 4, and lately (probably just the fact that I’ve been struggling with some depression) I’ve reeeally been wondering if I might actually be a 4 after over a decade of being confident I’m a 6. This was extremely helpful and spot on. Yep, still a 6. Thank you! Also, I’d add that a big difference is 6’s sense of trooper-ness and duty. 6’s will be internally paralyzed with anxiety but still show up and do their due diligence regardless of feelings... not usually so for the 4. Phobic 6s especially would hate to be singled out for not being a team player while 4s often relish in that for the sake of their moods/processing.
Girl, I can totally relate. I'm an INFJ who has mistyped as both a 1 and 4, but I'm beginning to think I might actually be a 6! This video was super helpful :)
I'm a 4, and the story of feeling ostracized in an church resonated heavily with me. I did rotc in college for my freshman year, and I left after completing my first year of it. I left because I felt like I didn't fit in. I did fine in rotc, yet I felt as though everyone was moving in a direction away from me. I felt as though there was no place for me.
You're definitely right about 6s living in the future and not the present. That lady who said they were in the present was either mistaken or just meant something different but didn't explain it right. I mean, unless the 6 is integrated at 9, then I could see them being very present. But average 6s will live in the future, so to speak. Or at least that's my understanding. So I agree with you. Anyway, although this video helped clarify some differences, I'm still confused whether I'm 4 or 6, or maybe 2. It's kind of ironic really because I have always been more self-aware than most people, and yet I of all people can't figure out my type. It's crazy and frustrating. But I guess that's partly because, unlike a lot of people, I don't just say "yeah I'm such and such type" and then never give it a 2nd thought until one day they realize "oh I was wrong, I'm actually such and such type!" I don't wanna do that. I wanna know my correct type from the start. This may sound strange but, if it weren't for the "giving part of Type 2 and not paying attention to their own needs, then I would say I'm Type 2 because everything else about Type 2 (besides those two traits) describes me. Like I'm very supportive, friendly, amiable, and love forming connections, especially friendships, with others! (And yeah I know Enneagram is not about personality traits; it's about a core fear/neurosis, but still). I mean I am very "giving" or generous in terms of my time! I'm willing to give a friend a lot of my time if they need it! But otherwise I'm not like giving gifts or lots of compliments or cooking for everyone or things like that.
Some of the examples in this video are kinda weird imo. For example the breast lump thing, literally everyone would freak out if they had it, like it's a normal reaction. Same with most things mentioned here. I'm a 4 but i have diagnosed anxiety AND have a 6 fix. So i do thing the worst and plan for the future in certain situations, but not in every minor thing like 6s do. Another difference is that even if both 4s and 6s can be emotionally volatile/reactive... 6s are not like that as a way to intensify their inner experience and separate themselves from other people to prove to themselves that they're defective and therefore misunderstood, 6s do it because they need to "blow off some steam" and just find an outlet to calm their anxieties, but they don't see the pain they go through as something that makes them special. Sometimes i do think i'm a 6 because i'm not antiauthorative and outspoken, but it's because i'm a 469 so i'm basically going to be softer and more people oriented than other 4s. Regardless, this video helped me a lot to find my core type, thank you so much!
It's interesting because I am definitely a type 4w5, I fit type 4 to a T, but one time I tested as a 6 and I think it's because I have generalized anxiety disorder. I think in a very 6 way due to my anxiety.
I'm 461 & 4w5. I agree with everything you have said. Eventhough I sought wisdom from my caregivers who were neglectful, I never absorbed their values & became like them to get love & warmth. I had my own rules & always wanted to be authentic to myself eventhough I had abandonment fears & rejection fears.
I have this "test" to see how well someone understands me. I am a true introvert; I'm very inwardly focused, people drain me quickly and if I can't get away from them I quickly get rude, moody and snappy. When I went to England I had to consistently share a room with my little brother and go out socialising all day and I had no time when I could be completely alone. After a few days of this I was utterly miserable. However people who don't know me at all would say I'm an extrovert, and people who know me reasonably well would say I'm ambiverted. This is all because my voice is loud and I'm emotionally expressive, which is (subconsiously) more to get people to acknowledge/validate my prescence than anything else. You only really know how I work and who I am if you realise that I am VERY introverted (sometimes even misanthropic) and the extroverted behaviours are a front.
So, tmi but I was watching this to discern which I was, and you mentioned HPV (or, that's what I'm assuming you meant) when referring to being a six. I was just shocked because I had the same, and have been freaking out over it immensely. Googling it and freaking myself out more. I was definitely meant to watch this.
Wow! Your friend's church situation was everything I needed to hear. I'm My sister is really into the Enneagram and now I'm interested as well, but there's so much to unpack. All I know so far is that I'm not a 3 or a 7, and probably not an 8. I'm an INFP who used to think I was an INFJ. I'm a Highly Sensitive Person (see Elaine Aron, HSP) as well, which means I am always absorbing the emotional climate in a room and picking up "vibes." I used to accept fault whenever I picked up negative vibes from other people, reviewing my behavior to try to figure out where I went wrong. As I've gotten older, I'm kinder to myself, but don't know when to trust my intuition and when to forget it. Am I incorrect in thinking that Enneagram 4's are considered to be "off the mark" when it comes to their perceptions and intuitions, due to their self-absorption and narcissism? It seems like the information on 4's invalidates their experiences and feelings, which doesn't sit well with me (as I consider whether I'm a 4 or not) as I've always tested high on empathy and been told I'm perceptive. Overall, Enneagram 4 doesn't sound appealing with it's link to narcissism and morbidity, but that church story was so spot-on for me, idk. However, I always felt that the reason I felt alone and somewhat alien was that INFP's are an uncommon type and only truly connect with other NF (Intuitive Feeling) types.
So true. It's a little bit of a catch-22 because if 4s disagree with how they've been described, then they're proving some of those unsavory descriptions of narcissism and self absorption. Though I do think it's vital to get the perspective of others, especially with a personal development tool such as the Enneagram, I do think much of what I've seen read about 4s is a little too narrow. For instance I've heard the core fear of the 4 described as the "fear of having no personal significance". Personally, I experience this more as a "fear of being or becoming something that I am not. The 'personal significance' wording so often is interpreted as a showy kind of quirkiness, a flair for performative difference. Scarves and melodrama, etc. Anyway, I've found videos by other 4s to be a good place to start as well as video by Enneagram professionals like this one and beatrice chestnut. Panels are sometimes helpful too
I know I’m quite late to the party here, but that was very helpful, especially the bit about past vs. future focus. I am decidedly an INFJ, but I always score almost a dead tie between 4 and 6 on the enneagram and seem to have traits of both. I too am an “extroverted introvert.” That is a 100% accurate description that I think everyone who knows me would agree about. I am not at all dramatic the way one ordinarily thinks of fours, but I also have none of the need to belong to a group that sixes seem to exhibit. While I tend to dwell more on the past, in relation to your cancer example, I think I would both google obsessively AND think obsessively about the larger meaning for my life. Still don’t know if I’m 4 or 6. Oh well.
for me as a 4 I feel some anxiety about getting breast cancer, I would probably do the googling too, but i have also accepted that I will probably get something like breast cancer because "that would be just typical of me" I think that would be my response in that scenario. I'm already expected the bad things to happen, I don't worry about it because I'm just waiting for it.
I may be 461 and my 6 is pretty strong but not always showing up... it only does if I feel I really have something to lose, like now that I am in a serious relationship and I have a house to take care of, and I am planning a family with my boyfriend etc... now my 6 has flared up. But my core is definetly 4...
1. I love your videos because I am obsessed with the enneagram and there is very little thorough content about it. 2. I am a 4w3, so obviously I love how much you talk about 4's. But I have a question about the above. When I score it's always 2, 4, 6 tie. Sometimes 7. I get the 7-because I feel 4's and 7's actually process super similarly, but 7's medicate and are fueled by positive energy, and 4's ruminate and stew (which I love). We are happy in the sad. But it's easy to confuse the two because we both love whimsy and aesthetic. HERE is my question though. Your example actually happened to me-except the tumor is in my back. And I processed that like a 6. BUT I also processed it like a 4. It was the voice of "My life up until now has been vibrant, melancholic, dramatic, poignant, tragic, poetic. I am okay with dying because living is hard. But also...WHAT IF I DIE? WHAT IS THAT? OH MY GOD? HELP!" Get on every Reddit board and ask. When I do my tri-type it's 2, 6, 9. I guess I'm just confused still. Because I'm a totally worry wart, but shame and jealousy are equal to fear. And I would say I go more to a 1 in health. Is it possible to just tie out?
. Some days ago, I used to type as 4w3 or 4w5. So, I decided to do the tritype test, definitely a strong 4 tho. My test came out saying I am a 641 and I really relate to it. I have also realized I am 6w7 so/sx, but my wing preference is not super strong.
Yes, but there is other types of treatment other then what the doctor you went to offers you. I think it's healthy to look into all avenues to explore. That is why I would research beyond what your doctor tells you. Yes, I just answered my question; I'm definitely a 6. I did that with my kidneys. Was a stage 3 kidneys. I looked outside of the box went to a Functional doctor. He got my kidneys filtering @ normal levels!!
Interesting that you decided to skip 3 vs. 9 in your series. Not that I need it personally, but I do know someone, an INFJ who makes RUclips videos, who thought she was a 9 for the longest time, but then realized she's a 3. It wasn't until she married an actual 9 that she realized she wasn't one. But, I don't know, maybe that's not a common mistype?
So I came here to figure out if I am a 4 or 6. Is it possible to be a 6 and not overly concerned about physical safety? Like I am very hung up on my faith and the different interpretations of it and which is right and which is wrong, etc? And is the whole Bible reliable, etc. I am also nervous about social situations and what may go right/wrong etc. How will people perceive me, etc. I very much relate to The Avett Brothers Song "The Perfect Space" which is about finding a place where you really belong. But the whole thinking about worst case scenarios in terms of violence and danger and crime and car wrecks for myself personally is not really something I do. Although I do sometimes worry about others like that if I can't get them on the phone etc. Can this be a 6?
Surely, regardless of type, everyone fears cancer. I get 6’s are THE anxious type but I imagine anyone going for a check up would feel concerned.
I'm either a 4w5 or a 6w5
This is hands down the most helpful thing I’ve found on the internet about this. Perhaps it’s because I too am a 6w7 with 4 and 1 in my tri-type and am an INFJ. I have seasons where I think I’m a 1 or 4, and lately (probably just the fact that I’ve been struggling with some depression) I’ve reeeally been wondering if I might actually be a 4 after over a decade of being confident I’m a 6. This was extremely helpful and spot on. Yep, still a 6. Thank you! Also, I’d add that a big difference is 6’s sense of trooper-ness and duty. 6’s will be internally paralyzed with anxiety but still show up and do their due diligence regardless of feelings... not usually so for the 4. Phobic 6s especially would hate to be singled out for not being a team player while 4s often relish in that for the sake of their moods/processing.
Carly Escoto Calmes INFP 4w5 here 👋
same 641 ENFP here 6w7 too!
Girl, I can totally relate. I'm an INFJ who has mistyped as both a 1 and 4, but I'm beginning to think I might actually be a 6! This video was super helpful :)
I'm a 4, and the story of feeling ostracized in an church resonated heavily with me. I did rotc in college for my freshman year, and I left after completing my first year of it. I left because I felt like I didn't fit in. I did fine in rotc, yet I felt as though everyone was moving in a direction away from me. I felt as though there was no place for me.
You're definitely right about 6s living in the future and not the present. That lady who said they were in the present was either mistaken or just meant something different but didn't explain it right. I mean, unless the 6 is integrated at 9, then I could see them being very present. But average 6s will live in the future, so to speak. Or at least that's my understanding. So I agree with you.
Anyway, although this video helped clarify some differences, I'm still confused whether I'm 4 or 6, or maybe 2. It's kind of ironic really because I have always been more self-aware than most people, and yet I of all people can't figure out my type. It's crazy and frustrating. But I guess that's partly because, unlike a lot of people, I don't just say "yeah I'm such and such type" and then never give it a 2nd thought until one day they realize "oh I was wrong, I'm actually such and such type!" I don't wanna do that. I wanna know my correct type from the start.
This may sound strange but, if it weren't for the "giving part of Type 2 and not paying attention to their own needs, then I would say I'm Type 2 because everything else about Type 2 (besides those two traits) describes me. Like I'm very supportive, friendly, amiable, and love forming connections, especially friendships, with others! (And yeah I know Enneagram is not about personality traits; it's about a core fear/neurosis, but still). I mean I am very "giving" or generous in terms of my time! I'm willing to give a friend a lot of my time if they need it! But otherwise I'm not like giving gifts or lots of compliments or cooking for everyone or things like that.
The most accurate description of type 6 I've ever heard. Excellent work! ❤
Some of the examples in this video are kinda weird imo. For example the breast lump thing, literally everyone would freak out if they had it, like it's a normal reaction. Same with most things mentioned here. I'm a 4 but i have diagnosed anxiety AND have a 6 fix. So i do thing the worst and plan for the future in certain situations, but not in every minor thing like 6s do. Another difference is that even if both 4s and 6s can be emotionally volatile/reactive... 6s are not like that as a way to intensify their inner experience and separate themselves from other people to prove to themselves that they're defective and therefore misunderstood, 6s do it because they need to "blow off some steam" and just find an outlet to calm their anxieties, but they don't see the pain they go through as something that makes them special. Sometimes i do think i'm a 6 because i'm not antiauthorative and outspoken, but it's because i'm a 469 so i'm basically going to be softer and more people oriented than other 4s. Regardless, this video helped me a lot to find my core type, thank you so much!
It's interesting because I am definitely a type 4w5, I fit type 4 to a T, but one time I tested as a 6 and I think it's because I have generalized anxiety disorder. I think in a very 6 way due to my anxiety.
Your head type could be 6 as well. I'm a 4w5 6w7 1w9 and I have awful anxiety.
@@BlueHazyDreams uhm .. what?
I feel similarly
Thank you for your awesome videos. I'd love to see videos that talk about the various triads.
I'm 461 & 4w5. I agree with everything you have said. Eventhough I sought wisdom from my caregivers who were neglectful, I never absorbed their values & became like them to get love & warmth. I had my own rules & always wanted to be authentic to myself eventhough I had abandonment fears & rejection fears.
Now I definitely know I am a 4
I have this "test" to see how well someone understands me. I am a true introvert; I'm very inwardly focused, people drain me quickly and if I can't get away from them I quickly get rude, moody and snappy. When I went to England I had to consistently share a room with my little brother and go out socialising all day and I had no time when I could be completely alone. After a few days of this I was utterly miserable.
However people who don't know me at all would say I'm an extrovert, and people who know me reasonably well would say I'm ambiverted. This is all because my voice is loud and I'm emotionally expressive, which is (subconsiously) more to get people to acknowledge/validate my prescence than anything else.
You only really know how I work and who I am if you realise that I am VERY introverted (sometimes even misanthropic) and the extroverted behaviours are a front.
Such a 4 thing to say.
So, tmi but I was watching this to discern which I was, and you mentioned HPV (or, that's what I'm assuming you meant) when referring to being a six. I was just shocked because I had the same, and have been freaking out over it immensely. Googling it and freaking myself out more. I was definitely meant to watch this.
We have the same numbers in our tritype...although I tested as 641, I'm really 461. I do have 6ish traits as well. Your videos are so great. :)
I think Sixes would generally be more sceptical of the Enneagram than Fours, when they get introduced to it.
Wow! Your friend's church situation was everything I needed to hear. I'm My sister is really into the Enneagram and now I'm interested as well, but there's so much to unpack. All I know so far is that I'm not a 3 or a 7, and probably not an 8. I'm an INFP who used to think I was an INFJ. I'm a Highly Sensitive Person (see Elaine Aron, HSP) as well, which means I am always absorbing the emotional climate in a room and picking up "vibes." I used to accept fault whenever I picked up negative vibes from other people, reviewing my behavior to try to figure out where I went wrong. As I've gotten older, I'm kinder to myself, but don't know when to trust my intuition and when to forget it.
Am I incorrect in thinking that Enneagram 4's are considered to be "off the mark" when it comes to their perceptions and intuitions, due to their self-absorption and narcissism? It seems like the information on 4's invalidates their experiences and feelings, which doesn't sit well with me (as I consider whether I'm a 4 or not) as I've always tested high on empathy and been told I'm perceptive. Overall, Enneagram 4 doesn't sound appealing with it's link to narcissism and morbidity, but that church story was so spot-on for me, idk. However, I always felt that the reason I felt alone and somewhat alien was that INFP's are an uncommon type and only truly connect with other NF (Intuitive Feeling) types.
So true. It's a little bit of a catch-22 because if 4s disagree with how they've been described, then they're proving some of those unsavory descriptions of narcissism and self absorption.
Though I do think it's vital to get the perspective of others, especially with a personal development tool such as the Enneagram, I do think much of what I've seen read about 4s is a little too narrow.
For instance I've heard the core fear of the 4 described as the "fear of having no personal significance". Personally, I experience this more as a "fear of being or becoming something that I am not. The 'personal significance' wording so often is interpreted as a showy kind of quirkiness, a flair for performative difference. Scarves and melodrama, etc.
Anyway, I've found videos by other 4s to be a good place to start as well as video by Enneagram professionals like this one and beatrice chestnut. Panels are sometimes helpful too
I know I’m quite late to the party here, but that was very helpful, especially the bit about past vs. future focus. I am decidedly an INFJ, but I always score almost a dead tie between 4 and 6 on the enneagram and seem to have traits of both. I too am an “extroverted introvert.” That is a 100% accurate description that I think everyone who knows me would agree about. I am not at all dramatic the way one ordinarily thinks of fours, but I also have none of the need to belong to a group that sixes seem to exhibit. While I tend to dwell more on the past, in relation to your cancer example, I think I would both google obsessively AND think obsessively about the larger meaning for my life. Still don’t know if I’m 4 or 6. Oh well.
Same here 😢 I react both ways
wow dude. i'm definitely a 6.
for me as a 4 I feel some anxiety about getting breast cancer, I would probably do the googling too, but i have also accepted that I will probably get something like breast cancer because "that would be just typical of me" I think that would be my response in that scenario. I'm already expected the bad things to happen, I don't worry about it because I'm just waiting for it.
I may be 461 and my 6 is pretty strong but not always showing up... it only does if I feel I really have something to lose, like now that I am in a serious relationship and I have a house to take care of, and I am planning a family with my boyfriend etc... now my 6 has flared up. But my core is definetly 4...
1. I love your videos because I am obsessed with the enneagram and there is very little thorough content about it. 2. I am a 4w3, so obviously I love how much you talk about 4's. But I have a question about the above. When I score it's always 2, 4, 6 tie. Sometimes 7. I get the 7-because I feel 4's and 7's actually process super similarly, but 7's medicate and are fueled by positive energy, and 4's ruminate and stew (which I love). We are happy in the sad. But it's easy to confuse the two because we both love whimsy and aesthetic. HERE is my question though. Your example actually happened to me-except the tumor is in my back. And I processed that like a 6. BUT I also processed it like a 4. It was the voice of "My life up until now has been vibrant, melancholic, dramatic, poignant, tragic, poetic. I am okay with dying because living is hard. But also...WHAT IF I DIE? WHAT IS THAT? OH MY GOD? HELP!" Get on every Reddit board and ask. When I do my tri-type it's 2, 6, 9. I guess I'm just confused still. Because I'm a totally worry wart, but shame and jealousy are equal to fear. And I would say I go more to a 1 in health. Is it possible to just tie out?
. Some days ago, I used to type as 4w3 or 4w5. So, I decided to do the tritype test, definitely a strong 4 tho. My test came out saying I am a 641 and I really relate to it. I have also realized I am 6w7 so/sx, but my wing preference is not super strong.
I feel I could be both, but have a tonne of anxiety. How much wisdom is behind the enneagram, compared to it being just a theory?
very nice
Yes, but there is other types of treatment other then what the doctor you went to offers you. I think it's healthy to look into all avenues to explore. That is why I would research beyond what your doctor tells you.
Yes, I just answered my question; I'm definitely a 6. I did that with my kidneys. Was a stage 3 kidneys. I looked outside of the box went to a Functional doctor. He got my kidneys filtering @ normal levels!!
Interesting that you decided to skip 3 vs. 9 in your series. Not that I need it personally, but I do know someone, an INFJ who makes RUclips videos, who thought she was a 9 for the longest time, but then realized she's a 3. It wasn't until she married an actual 9 that she realized she wasn't one. But, I don't know, maybe that's not a common mistype?
people can be different...even though they are the same number on the enneagram.. just with two different wings.. or just different personality.
Your tritype is 614. I knew it!
So I came here to figure out if I am a 4 or 6. Is it possible to be a 6 and not overly concerned about physical safety? Like I am very hung up on my faith and the different interpretations of it and which is right and which is wrong, etc? And is the whole Bible reliable, etc. I am also nervous about social situations and what may go right/wrong etc. How will people perceive me, etc. I very much relate to The Avett Brothers Song "The Perfect Space" which is about finding a place where you really belong. But the whole thinking about worst case scenarios in terms of violence and danger and crime and car wrecks for myself personally is not really something I do. Although I do sometimes worry about others like that if I can't get them on the phone etc. Can this be a 6?
Maybe you are so/sx or sx/so ?
Sounds very much like me and I'm am (6-ish) 4 :) I don't know, but the "How will people perceive me?" part sounds more like type 4 to me...
So true 😂
If someone's is an INFJ, i think they probably always confuse themselves into four or six😭
I am infp or infj 🤔🤔
In more of my unhealth, I was a 4 who pursued excessive attention, interestingly