The problem with enneagram 6 descriptions is everyone focuses way too much on their negativity and "worst case scenario planning". I have almost ALL the traits of a 6, but i am extremely positive sometimes to the point of being unrealistic. This Made me mistype as many different types. But no, i'm a 6, except I have a very strong 7 wing. Regardless, this video was good, you said things i haven't thought before. Thank you!
Thank you, Tina, for your comment. I, too, am a Buddy -- 6w7, and that makes a world of difference in my life. I believe that I have the best of both worlds. So do you, apparently! Thanks, Dr. Tom, once again, for your excellent insight in understandable terms. Keep up the great work!
Part of the reason I shy away from authority is that I don't want to let anyone down. It's more than being "targeted" though that is a fear. However, people want me to be in charge, because they can trust me :)
I’m always told I’m a pessimist but I swear I’m a realist...I think I go heavier on the negative side because others go heavier on the positive so I have to balance things out
Me! Soo much. Everyone around me think I’m being pessimistic or just rude which is so far from the truth. I just want to help everyone be aware of what could go wrong.
My Papaw was a type 6, I think. I loved him so much. He was a bit of a worrier, and his favorite answer was, "Well I don't know." He was always worried the tree would fall down, or the power would go out. It always exasperated my Granny. He was so smart, he could tell you any fact (so probably a 6w5). He was very sweet to us grandchildren, and he had a good intuition if someone wasn't a good person. I mis him a lot.
"If you see the work you do through the lens of what might go wrong..." Me as a 6: 🙋 "Most people don't see their work that way" Me as a s 6: "What?!!!" 😶
What's really stressful about that is when customers or colleagues want you to be responsible for those who weren't. When it's a colleague, I just redirect if it wasn't my own responsibility. When it's a customer, I just try to solve the problem and minimize the drama.
@@Byzantine_Monk "want you to be responsible for those who weren't." - Yes, that is so very stressful. The "redirect if it wasn't my own responsibility" is definitely something I need to work on, its so hard to do.
OMG!!! This hits really close. I might be a 6. Still relate to 9 though. This is difficult. I have no idea. Next step is to look for a difference between 9 and 6.
Very helpful! I even understand the impact of some recent mental shifts in a new light! Thankfully I like being a 6 and I am learning to be more comfortable with uncomfortable things. I can act more when I accept that not everything will be comfortable.
I am in a conundrum about this because since I was a little girl I was always projecting my fears into “what could happen so I was a sensitive child but looking back there were a lot of scary crappy things I experienced. So either I was anticipating this environment and experiences and having a skeptic fearful reaction in advance or I manifested it. I will tell you there were some things I predicted and was not wrong.
I'm watching this video right now and this is exactly on point with me as a type 6 It's crazy scary! I'm an electrical engineer and a MBA holder and it was because these or top prospects to have a job forever anywhere If something went wrong. My backup was going to be a therapist because I'm really good at helping others with their issues. Ironically I hesitate with making big executive decisions for myself. What hit me hardest was the bounce off conversation with other peoples input. I call it the "Dr. House bounce". Dr House just needed someone to bounce ideas off of to find the answer to his own problem . It's almost as if the individual is used as medium. Essentially, If we give them the issue they will start trying to solve it from their point of view. Suddenly now I can use my ability to essentially solve their issue which is really weird lol
I’m also 6w5 (strong wing 5, they are almost equal and interchangeable) I think when my wing 7 traits come out it’s when I’m completely checked out. Especially since negative 7 traits come out in a 5. You wanna make this dumb business decision without mitigating ANY risk and you won’t rationalize it to me?! Bye ✌🏼 ...then I turn up my music and rock out with ease.
I’m a 6 and married to a business owning 3. He has expressed many times that he’s felt unsupported (he loves to make decisions without detailing to me how he came up with it-I hate it), but I think he’s learned that he needs me to mitigate that risk he ignores and replaces it with “meh, I’m sure it’ll work out for the best.” I’m mentally exhausted everyday. I’ve come here to learn about each of us so I can be the best partner possible and so he can be more patient with me so I’m not in tears of stress, giving him the finger once a week.
Hi Alyssa 👋🏾😊, your post stopped me in my tracks and I laughed because I'm a 3w4 (and budding entrepreneur) that happens to be married to a 5 with a very strong 6 wing. I too have recently leapt into the Enneagram so that I can understand my seemingly pessimistic husband. I get exhausted talking to him often because everything always seems so bad when he talks. I literally think to myself, "wow, does he ever have a good day???" Being married to a person that naturally approaches life through a more critical lense can feel draining to someone like myself who approaches life ambitiously. I have to remember that my husband is being himself for better or worse lol. Studying the Enneagram has really helped me see my husband (and others for that matter) with so much more grace. I hope and pray that you and your hubby can learn to understand and appreciate each others unique make up, so that you two can experience more harmony in your marriage. 🙂
I'm late to this, but this fits very well. One thing I'll specify is that, even when questioning an authority of some sort, it's often not direct. For me, at least. Instead it's more covert. Feeling out other people's opinions of the authority in question. Finding others with the same issues, subtly shifting others to notice the issues, etc. Essentially it's all about coalescing the people against the authority, without being the one directly confronting the authority.
I knew since I learned about the enneagram that I was a five. Useless was the lie I always told myself. I could always study things for hours/ days at a time. I love to think through things, I love to observe, I love to learn and experience. However, as I was listening to your five series, something didn’t quite click. (I’ll have to look into it more as I am having this revolution now) but I brushed it off and continued. I got here and my mind is blown. A lot of this relates to me so much and now I’m confused and concerned, I don’t know if I’m a 5w6, or a 6w5, or I could be a 5w4 having an identity crisis. I don’t know anymore. Ahh, it’s the greed. I’ve grown up being extremely generous. I’d bring extras of things for everyone, I love to share food and recommendations, and knowledge. I hate gatekeeping, so I’d freely share my knowledge to anyone that asked. (Sometimes without them asking) but I’ve always been a very generous person, even to my own detriment on occasions.
i think you're a 6. a lot of the enneagram material is written with a bias towards a better and deeper description of 5s and 4s because Riso & Hudson were those types. in my observations and in things i've read every head type has the intellectual traits of what you described of 5s, 6s and 7s are just as intellectual, 6s most so. they may not show it, they may make it very obvious. however all 5s will relate to greed or stinginess whereas most 6s will relate more to generosity or ambivilance about generosity.
One day a friend told me to always make sure I have a weapon in my car just incase of anything. I told him it would not be safe because the weapon can as well be used on me.
This is very interesting to me. I'm a solid 4, no doubt, but I can relate to a lot of these 6 traits. I don't think they're as prominent in me as a 6 obviously, but on a smaller scale
I'm seriously stuck between 8 and counter-phobic 6. I feel like there are so many similarities between these two. My main thing is that I do not like anyone interfering with my time and space, can't stand it. It's like I'm afraid of anyone or anything that may try control me, that's what I look out for. I don't look out for what's going to go wrong etc in fact when I encounter pessimism, it's turns me off and may even make me impatient. However, I love to take care of people. I'm pretty knowledgeable about a lot of things and love to share my knowledge. I know exactly what to do when things go wrong. I think ahead with almost psychic abilities and can encounter fear about certain things but I cannot share these fears because I think it's a weakness I do not want others to know so I'll deny it even to myself and push through, but I know the fear is/was there. I can stand alone, actually enjoy it. But, for example, I absolutely hate when let's say a political party is deceptive and destructive to those they deceive. In this case I don't pledge with the opposing party but the corrupt side just disgusts me, although I'm aware of corruption in both sides. So confusing.
This is great, really. I was happy to find a few new layers to add to my "Things Sevens love about a Sixes" list. For example: Listening to a Seven-fixation describe how important it is to master the art of listening and, to practice patience when conversing with a six. This made me laugh, in a good way. Here's what came to mind: Dear Seven, * Please be on time and prepared for your lecture. * Required Supplies: Anything to write on, PLEASE. (We ask that please take notes throughout the lecture; you will be tested on a later date, at a random time of our choosing.) * We apologize in advance, gadget-fidget gear will not be provided for this duration of the lecture. * Lastly, we ask that multi-flavored soda's and/or Slurpee's are left outside the room. We are SO STOKED to meet you soon! Sincerely, The Six p.s. Your time is appreciated. Good Video. :)
Oh my goodness.. you are spot on. As a 6 I feel the need to plan for every scenario, but even so I don’t trust that I can handle the worst case scenario. So I see all the potential disasters but lack the confidence that I can deal with it. Yep.. it sucks. I would love to be blissfully ignorant. Why can’t I be another number? 😞
I’de considered myself a 9w1, but I also notice I have the “worst case scenario” thinking whenever I go out. I have some admittedly pretty dumb concerns. Like whenever I hear an aeroplane I’m afraid it will crash, or when Im in a car Im afraid of an accident.
What if you do the questioning, planning, avoiding worst-case scenarios etc., but not for yourself, but for others? I always solve my problems myself. I also try to be "friends" with authorities, so there´s also no trust issue. I believe in the Good. So when it comes to myself, I am not 6ish at all. But when it comes to my kids, I am afraid that something bad could happen to them, and that is why I always make contingency plans for them. I then check all the facts and data so that I can be sure that my kids are safe and that nothing bad (death or pain) will happen to them. For example, my son will go to Berlin in July with his class, and I have already checked the crime rates and other details (better safe than sorry). For myself, I would never do that. I would enjoy my time in Berlin and come home happy with fun stories to tell, but I fear losing my kids if I don't do anything to save them from potential harm. I keep being stuck between 6 and 7. I have a 7 heart. I am scatterbrained and I am all about happiness and fun, but when it comes to my kids, I get really anxious and turn into (potential) problem-solving mode like a 6 :( Do you have a video on your channel distinguishing 6 and 7? 🙏
Who knew parenthood came with a built-in switch that turns on the "worrier" mode? It's like a parental superpower - planning for every possible scenario except maybe a zombie apocalypse!
Very interesting! First of all sorry for my english, it's not my mother language :( Anyway, I knew about enneagram only few weeks ago and I find it very interesting! all tests I did said I'm a 8, maybe because of the control thing or the fact that I don't have problems with "conflicts" and I always want to say my point of view and can seem "aggressive" while doing this.... but everything else of 8 doesn't feel right to me and I think I am a 6! For example the fact that even if maybe I want to control everything, I don't want to lead at all if someone ask me to lead! I prefer to say "why don't we all lead?" like in a king's Arthur round table or something There are only few things I don't "recognise" about 6, for example seeing the bad sides of everything because lot of times I think I'm quite positive and encouraging, like if a friend tells me "I want to do this, but..." I'm always a bit entusiastic and say like "whyy do it!!" maybe then I tell this person potential problems, but only to say "if it happens this you can do that blablah", so maybe ok... I could see problems in everything 🤣 but more in a encouraging way, like "do it! the problems can be these but I already solved them and if there are new ones, we will solve them!" Maybe I'm a countertype? and maybe this could be the reason why I always got 8 in the tests haha and/or I am a 6w7 maybe...anyway, thanks so much for these videos!
We 6's clearly identify with our behaviors - primarily FEAR and the NEED FOR SECURITY AND CERTAINTY; but what drives these? Are these the result of childhood traumas? Are we born with genetic dispositions? Or a combination of both?
I just found this which explains it a bit. This is describes how I perceive my parents. Children with the Six pattern experience their parents as inadequate and unable to protect or care for them well. Early in childhood they feel safe, as they get older something happens that makes them perceive their parents as inadequate. Usually this occurs during the phase of separating when they need a strong parental figure to show them what is and isn’t safe about the world. At this time they experience parent(s) as inadequate - absent, unavailable, weak, etc.
Haley Walker I read it from another person who studies enneagram. I ran a RUclips search and other researchers came up. Apologies I didn’t include the source.
I am constantly questioning everything. I can’t relax and just do. I irritate myself with all my questions and hole poking. But it’s almost compulsive.
So, I'm pretty sure my fiance is a 6. But how can I tell for sure? She's loving, helpful, and generous like a 2. She can be as passive as a 9 and as outspoken as an 8. She definitely fears a lot of things, but she doesn't show it outwardly. She has this inner fear constantly about everything, though I wouldn't say she's prepared for a disaster. She does make sure to bring a knife with us when we go hiking or to unplug the heater when we leave the house. But she's not a doomsday proper... Also, She doesn't really ask a lot of questions at least not out loud. But I think she's constantly asking these questions to herself. She gets overwhelmed easily, shuts down, and refuses to engage. If I ask too many questions of her she gets overwhelmed.
I still don't know if I'm a 7w6 with some sort of anxiety disorder (I have a lot of panic attacks when I think my safety is in danger, and I also live in a bad place where you better be cautios than not), or if I'm a 6w7. I want to have a carefree life and just have fun trying various things and all that, but I'm also worried about my safety a lot, but it's not like I'm planning many routes "what if something goes wrong", I may prepare for something but I tend to just hope things won't get worse and everything will work out in the end.
I take the test once or twice a year and I go btwn 6w5 and 4w5. I feel I am touch of both. But more so a 6 bc I’ve been so hurt. And alone since I broke my back at age 15.the difference btwn me and other 6s is.. I feel I am not a productive 6. I get so afraid of things that I don’t move or make a choice. I’m even scared to drive. And yes I’m very ashamed of that. But I have so many intrusive thoughts that I go what I call mind blind and I’m afraid I will hurt someone. It’s exhausting. I hate being a six. I have no one around me with any mercy … so I can’t even be open about my issues. I’m just expected to be perfect. So I hide. And barely make do. Which I know is sad bc I believe in God and I know fear is the opposite of faith. I ask him all the time what am I supposed to do when I feel it on such a physical level…. I’m not trying I blame it on anyone but I feel it’s bc I have never had anyone. I’ve never had any love to relax me. I’ve only had to earn narcissists love which we all know is impossible. And I feel burnt out. I really loved an 8. He would try to tell me my intrusive thoughts were lying to me. He passed away in a wreck 8 months ago. That made everything extremely worse for both my mind & heart.
I have personally experienced everything you said but when taking enneagram tests I get high scores in both enneagram 1 and 6 as a result. Why is that?
Do they tend to ask questions to confirm information that probably already known? My daughter is a 6 and I am a 8 and sometimes I think I am too hard on her need to confirm the obvious.
I have been questioning if I'm a 6 instead of a 9 because I am so anxious about so many things. All safety related. I do picture worse case scenarios when it comes to those things. But I don't feel as if I'm constantly skeptical of people. I only feel as if I'm skeptical if I have a reason to be skeptical. If someone seems nice then they put me at ease, and I'm not wondering if they're lying to me. I might think about it afterwards, but my first impression is trust. But I think I am social blind, probably sp/sx. Would you say that 6s are always that skeptical of people, even with the social instinct last?
I would say that all my anxiety over safety things happens when I'm stressed also - I'm never just worrying about something without being stressed about it. Maybe I'm a 9 who just gets afraid more often than other 9s?
Im not super versed in the 2s and 6s but just going really basic would be considering if you are more of a thinker or a feeler. I feel like if you find yourself to be detailed oriented, you could be a 6, if you do the things you do because of your feelings in relation to others and over express your emotions you probably would be a 2. If you can't decide you are probably a 6 lol. But don't feel bad if you don't know cause 2's and 6's can be confusing to pin down. But if you see yourself in both I would take advice from each section and look deeper into the paths of integration and disintegration. 2 goes 4 in health, 6 would go to 9 in health. In unhealth 2 goes to 8, and 6 would go to 3. This is where you may find the answer
The sentence: "you feel like a Child in an adult's world" hit so close to home...
The problem with enneagram 6 descriptions is everyone focuses way too much on their negativity and "worst case scenario planning". I have almost ALL the traits of a 6, but i am extremely positive sometimes to the point of being unrealistic. This Made me mistype as many different types. But no, i'm a 6, except I have a very strong 7 wing. Regardless, this video was good, you said things i haven't thought before. Thank you!
6w7 "The Buddy." Thanks for your response.
I was going to say you must be wing 7! But the doc already nailed it! ☺
Thank you, Tina, for your comment. I, too, am a Buddy -- 6w7, and that makes a world of difference in my life. I believe that I have the best of both worlds. So do you, apparently! Thanks, Dr. Tom, once again, for your excellent insight in understandable terms. Keep up the great work!
classic 6
Yep! Me too! Once I dig deeper I can see the fear as a motivation, but I present like a 7 very often!
"sixes don't trust their own ability to solve problems" - woah.. yep!
Part of the reason I shy away from authority is that I don't want to let anyone down. It's more than being "targeted" though that is a fear. However, people want me to be in charge, because they can trust me :)
I’m always told I’m a pessimist but I swear I’m a realist...I think I go heavier on the negative side because others go heavier on the positive so I have to balance things out
Me! Soo much. Everyone around me think I’m being pessimistic or just rude which is so far from the truth. I just want to help everyone be aware of what could go wrong.
Yes, exactly a realist. That doesnt seem to exist for most people, its either hurray or grrrr end of
Wow! This is do spot on for me. I alternated between laughing and wanting to cry.
Glad you found my channel.
My Papaw was a type 6, I think. I loved him so much. He was a bit of a worrier, and his favorite answer was, "Well I don't know." He was always worried the tree would fall down, or the power would go out. It always exasperated my Granny. He was so smart, he could tell you any fact (so probably a 6w5). He was very sweet to us grandchildren, and he had a good intuition if someone wasn't a good person. I mis him a lot.
"If you see the work you do through the lens of what might go wrong..."
Me as a 6: 🙋
"Most people don't see their work that way"
Me as a s 6: "What?!!!" 😶
:-)
What's really stressful about that is when customers or colleagues want you to be responsible for those who weren't. When it's a colleague, I just redirect if it wasn't my own responsibility. When it's a customer, I just try to solve the problem and minimize the drama.
@@Byzantine_Monk "want you to be responsible for those who weren't." - Yes, that is so very stressful. The "redirect if it wasn't my own responsibility" is definitely something I need to work on, its so hard to do.
@@mikekrzesowiak7944 yes, it is hard because even though it's wrong to blame me for the mistakes of others, I still don't want to betray my colleagues
Yeah. Weird, right? Why didn't they already see this coming???
So glad I watched this. I’m a 6w5 and he was spot on about fear and skepticism and trying to always stay safe inside the herd and not stand out.
OMG!!! This hits really close. I might be a 6. Still relate to 9 though. This is difficult. I have no idea. Next step is to look for a difference between 9 and 6.
This is a good thing. A healthy six will embody many positive traits of the 9.
I'm finally convinced I am a six and not a one.
But still as I notice my childhood I can see such a 1 in me.
Type 6 and INTP. A task for a life time....
I’m a type 6 and an INFP.
@@n.f.2094 yo same
Very helpful! I even understand the impact of some recent mental shifts in a new light! Thankfully I like being a 6 and I am learning to be more comfortable with uncomfortable things. I can act more when I accept that not everything will be comfortable.
Right.
not sure if i''m truly a 6, or if it's just PTSD/anxiety ...
Same 😅
yep…
I am in a conundrum about this because since I was a little girl I was always projecting my fears into “what could happen so I was a sensitive child but looking back there were a lot of scary crappy things I experienced. So either I was anticipating this environment and experiences and having a skeptic fearful reaction in advance or I manifested it. I will tell you there were some things I predicted and was not wrong.
It's not necessarily the dark side, it's practical.
I'm watching this video right now and this is exactly on point with me as a type 6 It's crazy scary!
I'm an electrical engineer and a MBA holder and it was because these or top prospects to have a job forever anywhere If something went wrong. My backup was going to be a therapist because I'm really good at helping others with their issues. Ironically I hesitate with making big executive decisions for myself.
What hit me hardest was the bounce off conversation with other peoples input. I call it the "Dr. House bounce".
Dr House just needed someone to bounce ideas off of to find the answer to his own problem . It's almost as if the individual is used as medium.
Essentially, If we give them the issue they will start trying to solve it from their point of view.
Suddenly now I can use my ability to essentially solve their issue which is really weird lol
I have always thought guilty till proven innocent😂😂😂
18:40 you are such a 7. I love it! I’m married to a 6, and I say that to her ALL THE TIME. (I’m a 7w8 ESFP)
i think im a 6w5 with w7 tendencies, this is too accurate im scared
I’m also 6w5 (strong wing 5, they are almost equal and interchangeable) I think when my wing 7 traits come out it’s when I’m completely checked out. Especially since negative 7 traits come out in a 5.
You wanna make this dumb business decision without mitigating ANY risk and you won’t rationalize it to me?! Bye ✌🏼 ...then I turn up my music and rock out with ease.
Counter phobic 6 right here. Social 5
Lots of work on myself I finally starting to feel sane lol
I’m a 6 and married to a business owning 3. He has expressed many times that he’s felt unsupported (he loves to make decisions without detailing to me how he came up with it-I hate it), but I think he’s learned that he needs me to mitigate that risk he ignores and replaces it with “meh, I’m sure it’ll work out for the best.” I’m mentally exhausted everyday.
I’ve come here to learn about each of us so I can be the best partner possible and so he can be more patient with me so I’m not in tears of stress, giving him the finger once a week.
Hi Alyssa 👋🏾😊, your post stopped me in my tracks and I laughed because I'm a 3w4 (and budding entrepreneur) that happens to be married to a 5 with a very strong 6 wing. I too have recently leapt into the Enneagram so that I can understand my seemingly pessimistic husband. I get exhausted talking to him often because everything always seems so bad when he talks. I literally think to myself, "wow, does he ever have a good day???" Being married to a person that naturally approaches life through a more critical lense can feel draining to someone like myself who approaches life ambitiously. I have to remember that my husband is being himself for better or worse lol. Studying the Enneagram has really helped me see my husband (and others for that matter) with so much more grace. I hope and pray that you and your hubby can learn to understand and appreciate each others unique make up, so that you two can experience more harmony in your marriage. 🙂
I'm a 6w7. That's a good explanation, I think I could relate a little too much. But honestly... it depends.
Great.
Very funny lol.
I'm late to this, but this fits very well.
One thing I'll specify is that, even when questioning an authority of some sort, it's often not direct. For me, at least. Instead it's more covert. Feeling out other people's opinions of the authority in question. Finding others with the same issues, subtly shifting others to notice the issues, etc. Essentially it's all about coalescing the people against the authority, without being the one directly confronting the authority.
Thanks for chiming in! Your take on questioning authority is cool. It's like we're forming a secret resistance group!
Someone very close to me is a 6. This describes them exactly. Great information!
I knew since I learned about the enneagram that I was a five. Useless was the lie I always told myself. I could always study things for hours/ days at a time. I love to think through things, I love to observe, I love to learn and experience. However, as I was listening to your five series, something didn’t quite click. (I’ll have to look into it more as I am having this revolution now) but I brushed it off and continued. I got here and my mind is blown. A lot of this relates to me so much and now I’m confused and concerned, I don’t know if I’m a 5w6, or a 6w5, or I could be a 5w4 having an identity crisis. I don’t know anymore.
Ahh, it’s the greed. I’ve grown up being extremely generous. I’d bring extras of things for everyone, I love to share food and recommendations, and knowledge. I hate gatekeeping, so I’d freely share my knowledge to anyone that asked. (Sometimes without them asking) but I’ve always been a very generous person, even to my own detriment on occasions.
i think you're a 6. a lot of the enneagram material is written with a bias towards a better and deeper description of 5s and 4s because Riso & Hudson were those types. in my observations and in things i've read every head type has the intellectual traits of what you described of 5s, 6s and 7s are just as intellectual, 6s most so. they may not show it, they may make it very obvious. however all 5s will relate to greed or stinginess whereas most 6s will relate more to generosity or ambivilance about generosity.
6s needed Jesus.. 6 is me
One day a friend told me to always make sure I have a weapon in my car just incase of anything. I told him it would not be safe because the weapon can as well be used on me.
You should make a video about the “glitches”!
Yeeeeah this solidifies it for me. Thanks, Tom.
This is very interesting to me. I'm a solid 4, no doubt, but I can relate to a lot of these 6 traits. I don't think they're as prominent in me as a 6 obviously, but on a smaller scale
Thanks for sharing
Same! A good friend of mine once said that I'm a very 6-ish 4^^
I cant tell if im a 6 or 4w5 i keep getting different results
@@laureng3830 I'm a 4w5 so I can relate to that lol. I wonder what it is that makes those two groupings so similar
@@laureng3830 both can be there in your tritype
Thanks for your work Tom. Appreciate you and your work.
"They don't feel secure because they're 6s" lmao "if you're a cause of anxiety then you need to be delt with"
I'm seriously stuck between 8 and counter-phobic 6. I feel like there are so many similarities between these two. My main thing is that I do not like anyone interfering with my time and space, can't stand it. It's like I'm afraid of anyone or anything that may try control me, that's what I look out for. I don't look out for what's going to go wrong etc in fact when I encounter pessimism, it's turns me off and may even make me impatient. However, I love to take care of people. I'm pretty knowledgeable about a lot of things and love to share my knowledge. I know exactly what to do when things go wrong. I think ahead with almost psychic abilities and can encounter fear about certain things but I cannot share these fears because I think it's a weakness I do not want others to know so I'll deny it even to myself and push through, but I know the fear is/was there. I can stand alone, actually enjoy it. But, for example, I absolutely hate when let's say a political party is deceptive and destructive to those they deceive. In this case I don't pledge with the opposing party but the corrupt side just disgusts me, although I'm aware of corruption in both sides. So confusing.
One overly focuses on fear and the other overly focuses on control.
14:15 - That's me!
This is great, really.
I was happy to find a few new layers to add to my "Things Sevens love about a Sixes" list.
For example: Listening to a Seven-fixation describe how important it is to master the art of listening and, to practice patience when conversing with a six. This made me laugh, in a good way.
Here's what came to mind:
Dear Seven,
* Please be on time and prepared for your lecture.
* Required Supplies: Anything to write on, PLEASE.
(We ask that please take notes throughout the lecture; you will be tested on a later date, at a random time of our choosing.)
* We apologize in advance, gadget-fidget gear will not be provided for this duration of the lecture.
* Lastly, we ask that multi-flavored soda's and/or Slurpee's are left outside the room.
We are SO STOKED to meet you soon!
Sincerely,
The Six
p.s. Your time is appreciated.
Good Video.
:)
“Guilty until proven” alright I’m gonna live by that now
Oh my goodness.. you are spot on. As a 6 I feel the need to plan for every scenario, but even so I don’t trust that I can handle the worst case scenario. So I see all the potential disasters but lack the confidence that I can deal with it. Yep.. it sucks. I would love to be blissfully ignorant. Why can’t I be another number? 😞
Totally get what you mean! Planning for everything can be exhausting, but remember, you're stronger than you think. Keep pushing forward!
I’de considered myself a 9w1, but I also notice I have the “worst case scenario” thinking whenever I go out. I have some admittedly pretty dumb concerns. Like whenever I hear an aeroplane I’m afraid it will crash, or when Im in a car Im afraid of an accident.
33:24 I do this all the time and it drives some people crazy
Ouchie. This makes me feel terrible about myself. 😂😭 But also not. I’m reliable!
Thank god I'm being better and I'm out of that worst case scenario thinking cycle...
I'm more brave rn
This is so me! I really hate that this is me. Wish there was a way to be different.
😂😂😂😂 poor me! ( Nancy here 🙋🏻♀️)
Ditto
Why do I feel like a girl scout ?
Lmao you just called me out
From a Big5 perspective I feel this would be high Neuroticism and Conscientiousness
What if you do the questioning, planning, avoiding worst-case scenarios etc., but not for yourself, but for others?
I always solve my problems myself. I also try to be "friends" with authorities, so there´s also no trust issue. I believe in the Good.
So when it comes to myself, I am not 6ish at all.
But when it comes to my kids, I am afraid that something bad could happen to them, and that is why I always make contingency plans for them.
I then check all the facts and data so that I can be sure that my kids are safe and that nothing bad (death or pain) will happen to them.
For example, my son will go to Berlin in July with his class, and I have already checked the crime rates and other details (better safe than sorry).
For myself, I would never do that. I would enjoy my time in Berlin and come home happy with fun stories to tell, but I fear losing my kids if I don't do anything to save them from potential harm.
I keep being stuck between 6 and 7.
I have a 7 heart. I am scatterbrained and I am all about happiness and fun, but when it comes to my kids, I get really anxious and turn into (potential) problem-solving mode like a 6 :(
Do you have a video on your channel distinguishing 6 and 7? 🙏
Who knew parenthood came with a built-in switch that turns on the "worrier" mode? It's like a parental superpower - planning for every possible scenario except maybe a zombie apocalypse!
@@twlahue lol yes. But all the other parents I know seem to be chill somehow. Something's wrong with me.
@@twlahue Btw a zombie apocalypse would be kinda fun ngl
Very interesting! First of all sorry for my english, it's not my mother language :( Anyway, I knew about enneagram only few weeks ago and I find it very interesting! all tests I did said I'm a 8, maybe because of the control thing or the fact that I don't have problems with "conflicts" and I always want to say my point of view and can seem "aggressive" while doing this.... but everything else of 8 doesn't feel right to me and I think I am a 6! For example the fact that even if maybe I want to control everything, I don't want to lead at all if someone ask me to lead! I prefer to say "why don't we all lead?" like in a king's Arthur round table or something
There are only few things I don't "recognise" about 6, for example seeing the bad sides of everything because lot of times I think I'm quite positive and encouraging, like if a friend tells me "I want to do this, but..." I'm always a bit entusiastic and say like "whyy do it!!" maybe then I tell this person potential problems, but only to say "if it happens this you can do that blablah", so maybe ok... I could see problems in everything 🤣 but more in a encouraging way, like "do it! the problems can be these but I already solved them and if there are new ones, we will solve them!"
Maybe I'm a countertype? and maybe this could be the reason why I always got 8 in the tests haha and/or I am a 6w7 maybe...anyway, thanks so much for these videos!
yes, it's difficult for me to tell the type of very close people! exceeept... sevens.. you always know.
We 6's clearly identify with our behaviors - primarily FEAR and the NEED FOR SECURITY AND CERTAINTY; but what drives these? Are these the result of childhood traumas? Are we born with genetic dispositions? Or a combination of both?
I just found this which explains it a bit. This is describes how I perceive my parents.
Children with the Six pattern experience their parents as inadequate and unable to protect or care for them well. Early in childhood they feel safe, as they get older something happens that makes them perceive their parents as inadequate.
Usually this occurs during the phase of separating when they need a strong parental figure to show them what is and isn’t safe about the world. At this time they experience parent(s) as inadequate - absent, unavailable, weak, etc.
Christine Barker wow! Where did you find that? That was literally my childhood experience...
I'm neither of these...
Haley Walker I read it from another person who studies enneagram. I ran a RUclips search and other researchers came up. Apologies I didn’t include the source.
I became an honorary 6 after 1 yr in politics
I am constantly questioning everything. I can’t relax and just do. I irritate myself with all my questions and hole poking. But it’s almost compulsive.
So, I'm pretty sure my fiance is a 6. But how can I tell for sure? She's loving, helpful, and generous like a 2. She can be as passive as a 9 and as outspoken as an 8. She definitely fears a lot of things, but she doesn't show it outwardly. She has this inner fear constantly about everything, though I wouldn't say she's prepared for a disaster. She does make sure to bring a knife with us when we go hiking or to unplug the heater when we leave the house. But she's not a doomsday proper... Also, She doesn't really ask a lot of questions at least not out loud. But I think she's constantly asking these questions to herself. She gets overwhelmed easily, shuts down, and refuses to engage. If I ask too many questions of her she gets overwhelmed.
4:32 I vibe with this too much
What type looks at those curtains and thinks “why wouldn’t you steam those before making an education video?” 😒
Probably a 1 or 3! :) :)
1... definitely a 1 😆
I still don't know if I'm a 7w6 with some sort of anxiety disorder (I have a lot of panic attacks when I think my safety is in danger, and I also live in a bad place where you better be cautios than not), or if I'm a 6w7. I want to have a carefree life and just have fun trying various things and all that, but I'm also worried about my safety a lot, but it's not like I'm planning many routes "what if something goes wrong", I may prepare for something but I tend to just hope things won't get worse and everything will work out in the end.
I take the test once or twice a year and I go btwn 6w5 and 4w5.
I feel I am touch of both. But more so a 6 bc I’ve been so hurt. And alone since I broke my back at age 15.the difference btwn me and other 6s is..
I feel I am not a productive 6. I get so afraid of things that I don’t move or make a choice. I’m even scared to drive.
And yes I’m very ashamed of that. But I have so many intrusive thoughts that I go what I call mind blind and I’m afraid I will hurt someone. It’s exhausting. I hate being a six. I have no one around me with any mercy … so I can’t even be open about my issues. I’m just expected to be perfect. So I hide. And barely make do. Which I know is sad bc I believe in God and I know fear is the opposite of faith. I ask him all the time what am I supposed to do when I feel it on such a physical level…. I’m not trying I blame it on anyone but I feel it’s bc I have never had anyone. I’ve never had any love to relax me. I’ve only had to earn narcissists love which we all know is impossible. And I feel burnt out.
I really loved an 8. He would try to tell me my intrusive thoughts were lying to me. He passed away in a wreck 8 months ago. That made everything extremely worse for both my mind & heart.
Thanks for sharing.
After watching the type 5 subtypes, I'm not sure that's my type. I relate to this video so maybe I'll look at more of your type 6 videos
so spot on with me.
Yeap, I'm a 6. I felt like you were describing me.
What can I do now? How can we 6s overcome this crippling fear and doubt?
i became 6
they make me that way
🪶☀☄🧬🗿
Of course it depends! :)
I have personally experienced everything you said but when taking enneagram tests I get high scores in both enneagram 1 and 6 as a result. Why is that?
I am a type 6, along with my sister!
You definitely explained me
i don't know, am i a 6 or a 9
Do they tend to ask questions to confirm information that probably already known? My daughter is a 6 and I am a 8 and sometimes I think I am too hard on her need to confirm the obvious.
I have been questioning if I'm a 6 instead of a 9 because I am so anxious about so many things. All safety related. I do picture worse case scenarios when it comes to those things. But I don't feel as if I'm constantly skeptical of people. I only feel as if I'm skeptical if I have a reason to be skeptical. If someone seems nice then they put me at ease, and I'm not wondering if they're lying to me. I might think about it afterwards, but my first impression is trust. But I think I am social blind, probably sp/sx. Would you say that 6s are always that skeptical of people, even with the social instinct last?
I would say that all my anxiety over safety things happens when I'm stressed also - I'm never just worrying about something without being stressed about it. Maybe I'm a 9 who just gets afraid more often than other 9s?
Defensive pessimists, then?
Defensive pessimism can be an interesting strategy! It’s all about preparing for the worst while hoping for the best. What are your thoughts on it?
Why don't you cover the two different "types" of Type 6 ? ...
Phobic and Counter Phobic ...
I got both two and six in the same percentage so what does that mean?? Am I half one half the other?
Im not super versed in the 2s and 6s but just going really basic would be considering if you are more of a thinker or a feeler. I feel like if you find yourself to be detailed oriented, you could be a 6, if you do the things you do because of your feelings in relation to others and over express your emotions you probably would be a 2. If you can't decide you are probably a 6 lol. But don't feel bad if you don't know cause 2's and 6's can be confusing to pin down. But if you see yourself in both I would take advice from each section and look deeper into the paths of integration and disintegration. 2 goes 4 in health, 6 would go to 9 in health. In unhealth 2 goes to 8, and 6 would go to 3. This is where you may find the answer
21:40
or sx1!
No