@@samanthasnow3104 wow me too!!! when I'm doing really really bad, I dissociate on the outside, but inside I'm feeling like I hate everything and want to change things, but I can't and it's killing me. But I think overall that I'm a 4, because I'm very emotional.
i match with both 4 and 9 descriptions. i avoid conflits, i internalize my emotions, i'm really easy going and laid back and tend to undereact about most of things, i had hard time saying no, but at the same time, i love fantasizing, i'm an idealist and a dreamer, i'm an independant person but i don't mind being a follower if it goes my way. i can take decisions without consulting the other person because it doesn't come To mind that it can be a big deal, i can feel the anger inside but i have a good control over it. and tend to keep my emotions in. i always want to make people feel comfortable. and i struggle with the feeling of guilt. everytime i watch videos about 9, i think i'm defenitely a 9, but when i watch videos about 4, i think i'm definitely a 4. geez! i just can't choose. and i'm happy other infps feel the same. that means, she's missing a point in her description . i think it's a mistake to try to make a général description of types , because it van be confusing to some people who just don't understand who they don't fit in
Well you just described me... I am so confused. Big romantic/fantasizing/daydreamer/creative but really good with other people and not bad with family and friends because I'm calm and laid-back and go with the flow. Idealist and INFP. Confused also.
I've been stuck between both too, but after learning instincts, I think it's worth learning more about SP 4. Because that description fits me like a glove, after being so lost in the enneagram.
as a four, while I do tend to experience something as worse than it is, alternately, in a good state of mind, I'll tend to see things as far better than they actually are too. its either extreme lol.
Not all 4’s are like your dad! You are so negative about 4’s in both videos I’ve seen. Please make an effort to learn more about 4’s - we have many wonderful qualities.
I know right I said that in a different video. I'm not like her father at all. He sounds more like a 3w4? If anything. I'm not fake, or phoney like that at all. That's 3's
Seems like I'm a 4 when I'm by myself and sometimes in a one on one scenario including romantic relationships. In social context and in the workplace it seems I always act like a 9 unless Im in a bad mood. What's happening with me according to the ennegram?
I don't know if other 9's do this, but I have this constant belief that things are always working out in my favor, so I don't need to worry about it.When good things happen to me, I get excited but I'm never surprised, because deep down I always know that I get what I want. I definitely screw myself over when I underestimate potential problems, though lol. Random side note: I've noticed that male 9's almost always wind up with 4,6,8 females and your husband sounds like a great guy.
Hi. What you described about "things working out in your favor" actually sounds a lot more like a type 7. Is it possible you're actually type 7? Both 7 and 9 tend to not like to worry about problems, but 7s are more optimistic and also more excited.
I've actually often tested as a 7 in the past but I relate more to the core desire of having inner peace. I think the difference is that a 7 uses optimism to escape pain and a (unhealthy) 9 uses optimism to avoid action.
Well as a 4 I am very sure everything happens "for us" not "to us" and I've always felt pretty lucky and protected. But it's still sooooo hard not to over react at everything how do you guys do it? It's a mistery.
Is it possible to be a 4 internally but a 9 externally? I feel like the 4 description represents my emotions how I feel on the inside. However, I present myself to other people as a 9, with avoiding conflict and not showing many emotions. Someone please reply and help!!!! lol
I feel the same way, and people tell me I'm a 9 (I'm also an INFP btw). What I've noticed is that with most people (even those I'm close to) I tend not to show my emotions outwardly much and can even come across as "blunted" and "cold", even though I am quite emotional on the inside. But 4s often can't help but express their emotions outwardly. My mom (a 4), for example, feels most natural when she's expressing her emotions, especially sadness. But I feel awkward when expressing sadness and usually try to hold it in so other people don't have to see me like that. Plus, I naturally just want to feel happy and relaxed, while my mom can sometimes ruminate in negative emotions and won't be as concerned as me about maintaining a state of peace and happiness. Anyway to answer your question, no, you are only one type. But at the same time, everyone is a complex and unique human being who won't fit perfectly into 1 of 9 personality types, and that includes you! So although you have one type that fits you the best, that in no way means you are exactly like that type.
Same, except with me it's more like I developed 9-ish behavior in response to people perceiving my 4-ish behavior as undesirable, like my dad would see me as irrational, demanding, and selfish so I'm extra careful as an adult not to step on anyone's toes. But now I just keep me all to myself and pretend everything's fine so I can hold back the storm alone. So either I'm some oddly introspective, moody 9, or some oddly self-effacing, agreeable 4. *shrug*
YEEEEEES SAME OMG FINALLY SOMEONE WHO FEELS THE SAME!! I'm so split, because I feel like I am both... can't we just be both types? Or someone make a type for us. Holy moly I relate, thank you.
9's aren't head types, and you are one, so they don't think as actively as you do (you knew that). 9's are grounded until they get really mad and explode, and maybe you knew that too. I'm glad you made the point that 9's don't think they make an impact on the world. By the way, you might like Starry Hilder's channel on RUclips. She's a Christian living off the grid in Idaho, and I think she may be a 6w7 married to 9w8. Lately Mr. Hilder has been appearing in more of their videos, so you might enjoy their interactions. Thanks for this one. Believe it or not I get 4 and 9 mixed up, especially when they are introverts (INFP and INFJ), have both 4 and 9 in their tritype, and/or are SP first. And it's true but not always noticed that 4's create a fantasy in their minds about how things will be, and it's hard to let go of the fantasy, even though they do know better.
Yeah I agree with the outward showing of excitement, my mind could be racing with excitement but for some reason there seems to be a barrier between that and how my face reacts. I sometimes feel like I sound sarcastic in my response to receiving gifts, even if someone were to give me a Chistmas present that I genuinely liked lol.
Hahaha...I am a 4w5...I laughed out loud in this video. Ok, it's true, I'm a 4! But I wouldn't complain so much if my loved ones went out of their way to do what I want on my birthday...I would complain if they took me someplace I didn't want to go, or did nothing... lol One year my (then) boyfriend told me he was going to bake a cake for me, and then got home late from work and said "Ok, show me how to make this cake." Oh dear, THAT was a mistake!!!!! These videos are really so helpful, you're extremely knowledgable. I would love to see a series on MBTI types as I learn well from your way of communicating, maybe because I think I'm also INFJ. My only critique is that as a non-Christian I don't always want to hear about religious things when I'm here for Enneagram, but it's your channel so you do you, and I appreciate that you try to be balanced.
I was having a real hard time on telling whether I was a 4 or a 9 but your examples were just perfect. Now I'm pretty sure I am a 4 hahahahhahah thank you!
Yep, I definitely have a tendency to think things aren't as big a deal as other people do. I'd also bet that for both me (ISTP) and your husband, whom I know you've mentioned is an ISTJ, being ST types also contributes to the lack of empathy to those who are upset by things. As for the "Why would somebody confuse types 4 and 9?" question, I'd suggest that it might be helpful to do comparisons between Type 9 and ALL the other types, because of the tendency for Type 9's to merge with whatever types are influencial in their lives, making it difficult for 9's to type themselves. Speaking from personal experience.
I'm definitely a type 4. But I changed a lot of my behavior to be more a type 9. I guess I'm influence by positivity. I think my best friend I is a type 9. It explains why sometimes I have to explain why certain things are a big deal to other people to him. And he explains why things are not as big deal as I make it out to be. I guess this balance me out. Do type 9 have really long lasting friendships?
Type 9's can have long lasting friendships (in their heads). Just so the friend doesn't mind being in the friendship by herself. The thing about 9's is you can have good times, make memories to look back on. You just can't make recent ones. If you have a life or death situation, an emergency? This is where you will question your relationship? They will give you the most stupid reasons why they couldn't help you. It's an insult to your being. It's fucked being on the other end. Especially, when they repeat that you are their friend. Though nothing is said about their friendship to you. Their friendship is just absent most of the time.
If you study the tritypes you can see that it is very possible to have 4 as your heart type and 9 as your instinctual type which is why a lot of infps test very close to 4 and 9. My tritype is actually 469 with 6 being my head type...
As a 4w5, I can totally relate to the restaurant scenario, and yes I have mastered the art of the sigh.... It sounds bad, but I could laugh just out of recognition.
I’m a 9 but I always felt a real connection to type 4. I’m a really emotional 9, I’m very reactive even in little things if they matter to me, people always told me that I’m too much, too emotional, too naive all that, and I’ve always been in search for an identity, I used to have a lot of identity crisises and feelings of not fitting in very early stages of my life (at 10 to 12 y/o) but that comes from a place of not knowing who I am, what I want, and how I feel (like a nine) not from a place of feeling like something is missing, and I’ve never felt comfortable in sadness, I always run away from bad emotions, and fall asleep to them, nines and 4s have a lot of similarities that people don’t notice about, also both of them withdraw and have problems getting to action, both of them are creative types, and have problems regarding “who they are”
That's funny how you see 9's as grounded & aware. That's comical ! 9's are so not themselves they merge into whoever they are with. They are not grounded if they were they would Know themselves, they are numb or sloth like so disconnected it's not even funny. And 4's you keep on taking these traits and are not explaining them at all in the correct context. 4's have a great imagination, though any fantasies they may have in their head are private & would never be told outloud because we know they are silly, make believe. Its something we do when stress to escape our reality momentarily so we can have peace. Give or take.
This was a helpful video, thank you! I also tested as a 4 or 9, with 9 resonating most. But hearing your description of the chain restaurant, where one location was romanticized over the other, was like a mirror. Ultimately, subtypes got me home: I'm a self-preservation 4, and it's natural for me to self-efface, give deference, and show a cheerier disposition.
11mins into the video well I knew I was a 4 but questioned somethings but realized I've just bottled up some of my emotions so I have a hard time feeling comfortable responding sometimes. But if emotions get too strong I can't keep them inside sometimes, I've learned to try to remain calm, and it hard. By the way 4w5.
People who are torn between 4 and 9, it's like that episode of Ren and Stimpy where Ren gets divided into two people, the two sides of his personality-- his evil side (4) and his... apathetic side (9) lol. I'm mostly kidding, I still love that silly reveal joke from that episode. I do bounce from way to intense to *shrug* meh, and both can be destructive for sure. IDK just learning, good luck with the growth to anyone reading these comments whenever.
This is a very old video but hearing the situation with the garage.... it could not be "not being aware that is a bit deal" but not wanting to get into a confrontation. In order to avoid it he made the decision by himself and would rather take the anger onto himself and just wait till it passes and supress his guilt annoy the situation since the debate or confrontation about the garage would make him more uncomfortable. Im a 9w1 and I do that, its kind of like "acting dumb" or acting oblivious to a mistake we made
I know that this is an old comment, but I am conflict avoidant to a degree and I'm a 4w5. I think some of that has to do with being raised by a pretty closed off 9. If your emotions weren't really validated as a child, then it would make sense to be an emotional storm on the inside while avoiding conflict on the outside. Also conflict triggers my intense emotions and they are intense enough without the added stress of conflict.
Right off the bat she's wrong as hell- 9s are extremely emotional, so much so that they seek stability and can appear calm to others to compensate. 9s are extremely "absorbent", as in, they easily pick up on, internalize other people's emotions and have a hard time separating their own emotions from others. They are -the- empathetic type, whereas 4s are self-absorbed. Also, 4s aren't emotionally expressive. They can appear cold or smoldering, but they don't reveal their feelings and, really, they're not so much the "emotional type" as 2s and 9s are. 4s are 'individualists', as in, their personality is focused on hyper-differentiating, hyper-individuating themselves. They're attuned to a lot more than just "Emotion". its really tiring how people who don't know the enneagram present themselves as experts based on shallow stereotypes.
i tend to avoid conflicts, but sometimes i also want to voice my opinions in hope to seek validation of others that have the same ideas as me. but if it turns out there are more people that are against my opinion, i almost ALWAYS throw away my opinion and think "damn, well i guess i'm gonna switch sides🤷♀" does that makes sense??😭
I'm wondering if the 4 in your story had some bad experience at that particular Black Eyed Pea, and that's why they didn't want to go back there. For me, as a 4 with a 6 head fix, if I had some sort of personal rule regarding a location like that, it would be because something happened that really made me lost my trust - maybe the cooks burned my meal, or the waitress was rude.
There are no similarities. It is just that though iam a 4, i do have something to relate that are said about 9 as well. Like detachment to avoid anxiety, fear and stress.
Help! I think I'm a 4 but I'm not very dramatic and I try to be positive. For example with the restaurant thing I wouldn't react that way - I'd feel embarrassed and just be polite. But let's say we were going out to dinner and the restaurant turned out not to have and good gluten-free options (I have Celiac) I might take it kind of personally and get quietly upset. If my friend asked if the food was good I might say "it's fine." Even thought I'm eating a wilted salad while everyone else has hearty delicious looking meals. Would a 9 just get over it and not care? The better I'm doing the more I can be optimistic, if I was already having a bad day I might let people know I didn't love my meal but it was ok.
I tend to exacerbate problems others don't see (catastrophise health symptoms,certain situations etc.) yet minimise others (succeses, school/work stress, people who wrong me,sometimes i don't realise i've hurt other theough certain details until they tell me).So I am really undecided😅
Hi Jennifer! After watching this video (I realize it was a whopping six years ago, haha), I am curious what YOUR enneagram type is? :) You should let me know, because that would be fun for you. Thanks for sharing!
I wouldn’t be so quick to say this because I was between both types and this video really summed it up for me that I’m just a 4 with a 9 gut fix. My whole life my outlook on life has been discontentment, I’ve rarely ever convinced myself that things aren’t as bad as it seems, but simultaneously I try to hold these feelings in (at times) just to avoid spreading my negative energy to others because I don’t want to infect others and bring them down with me.
As a 4 myself yes I take things to seriously when I take things sensitive… but life is boring for me I need a lot alone time to make it for fun… I know so many nines that do so much for other people that they exhausted them selves. That is what “sloth” means. To go to sleep to their own desires !! No independent goals.
We do know that but we are nit head type like you right..we talk alot when we are in emotional moments bcos it becomes unbearable for us. You also know where it comes now we have Enneagram and MBTI right?
It was shocking when you said your mom went out of her way which she really didn’t want to do. Think about it from your most emotional state. ( like a 4) oh also add the core belief you don’t feel adequate to deserve) As a four You’re happy someone remembered your birthday and also is trying to celebrate you. Since you’re a worth type you don’t feel validated in that desire. Instead of you asking the four what they want you assumed the easy choice. You also assumed gift giving is simple and has some meaning but not the same detrimental meaning of a four( who is looking for proof of worth and love).. you going “ going out of your way” is something Fours can sniff out as a disingenuous motive. A half ass attempt for yourself is off putting to a 4. You did all this so YOU can feel special. Solidifying further how much I’m not. And also solidifying the contraindication of my beliefs that I am special but no one sees it. Don’t take personal but want to help you see
although i don't relate to the complaining and the martyr thing. i used to be like that when i was little but my 8 dad got really angry at me for being like that so i stopped..
how the hell am i literally both of these
Sam here. They are not similar but i feel iam a bit of both. Mostly 4, leaning to 9.
EXACTLY SAME WTF
the mok I’m the same. I believe I’m a four, but I flipped out once I realized I have very, very many nine tendencies.
naurata ei yhtään I figured out I’m a 9 when I’m dissociated and not doing well and a 4 when I’m having high anxiety lol
@@samanthasnow3104 wow me too!!! when I'm doing really really bad, I dissociate on the outside, but inside I'm feeling like I hate everything and want to change things, but I can't and it's killing me. But I think overall that I'm a 4, because I'm very emotional.
I always get 4 and 9 as my two highest and they're really close.
BRAINWASHED mine are always tied and so are the wings. 4w5 and 9w1. 🤷🏻♀️ Same happens with INFJ and INFP scores. 😂
Me too
i match with both 4 and 9 descriptions. i avoid conflits, i internalize my emotions, i'm really easy going and laid back and tend to undereact about most of things, i had hard time saying no, but at the same time, i love fantasizing, i'm an idealist and a dreamer, i'm an independant person but i don't mind being a follower if it goes my way. i can take decisions without consulting the other person because it doesn't come To mind that it can be a big deal, i can feel the anger inside but i have a good control over it. and tend to keep my emotions in. i always want to make people feel comfortable. and i struggle with the feeling of guilt. everytime i watch videos about 9, i think i'm defenitely a 9, but when i watch videos about 4, i think i'm definitely a 4. geez! i just can't choose. and i'm happy other infps feel the same. that means, she's missing a point in her description . i think it's a mistake to try to make a général description of types , because it van be confusing to some people who just don't understand who they don't fit in
Well you just described me... I am so confused. Big romantic/fantasizing/daydreamer/creative but really good with other people and not bad with family and friends because I'm calm and laid-back and go with the flow. Idealist and INFP. Confused also.
Yep
I've been stuck between both too, but after learning instincts, I think it's worth learning more about SP 4.
Because that description fits me like a glove, after being so lost in the enneagram.
Trust me….
It’s self preservation 4 !!
Google: Self preservation 4 wiki
The problem is; I'm not getting confused between the two, but I just relate a lot to both of the types...?
as a four, while I do tend to experience something as worse than it is, alternately, in a good state of mind, I'll tend to see things as far better than they actually are too. its either extreme lol.
Not all 4’s are like your dad! You are so negative about 4’s in both videos I’ve seen. Please make an effort to learn more about 4’s - we have many wonderful qualities.
I know right I said that in a different video. I'm not like her father at all. He sounds more like a 3w4? If anything. I'm not fake, or phoney like that at all. That's 3's
Seems like I'm a 4 when I'm by myself and sometimes in a one on one scenario including romantic relationships. In social context and in the workplace it seems I always act like a 9 unless Im in a bad mood. What's happening with me according to the ennegram?
I don't know if other 9's do this, but I have this constant belief that things are always working out in my favor, so I don't need to worry about it.When good things happen to me, I get excited but I'm never surprised, because deep down I always know that I get what I want. I definitely screw myself over when I underestimate potential problems, though lol. Random side note: I've noticed that male 9's almost always wind up with 4,6,8 females and your husband sounds like a great guy.
Hi. What you described about "things working out in your favor" actually sounds a lot more like a type 7. Is it possible you're actually type 7? Both 7 and 9 tend to not like to worry about problems, but 7s are more optimistic and also more excited.
I've actually often tested as a 7 in the past but I relate more to the core desire of having inner peace. I think the difference is that a 7 uses optimism to escape pain and a (unhealthy) 9 uses optimism to avoid action.
Well as a 4 I am very sure everything happens "for us" not "to us" and I've always felt pretty lucky and protected. But it's still sooooo hard not to over react at everything how do you guys do it? It's a mistery.
Is it possible to be a 4 internally but a 9 externally? I feel like the 4 description represents my emotions how I feel on the inside. However, I present myself to other people as a 9, with avoiding conflict and not showing many emotions. Someone please reply and help!!!! lol
I feel the same way, and people tell me I'm a 9 (I'm also an INFP btw). What I've noticed is that with most people (even those I'm close to) I tend not to show my emotions outwardly much and can even come across as "blunted" and "cold", even though I am quite emotional on the inside. But 4s often can't help but express their emotions outwardly. My mom (a 4), for example, feels most natural when she's expressing her emotions, especially sadness. But I feel awkward when expressing sadness and usually try to hold it in so other people don't have to see me like that. Plus, I naturally just want to feel happy and relaxed, while my mom can sometimes ruminate in negative emotions and won't be as concerned as me about maintaining a state of peace and happiness.
Anyway to answer your question, no, you are only one type. But at the same time, everyone is a complex and unique human being who won't fit perfectly into 1 of 9 personality types, and that includes you! So although you have one type that fits you the best, that in no way means you are exactly like that type.
i'm exactly the same.. difficult stuff
Same, except with me it's more like I developed 9-ish behavior in response to people perceiving my 4-ish behavior as undesirable, like my dad would see me as irrational, demanding, and selfish so I'm extra careful as an adult not to step on anyone's toes. But now I just keep me all to myself and pretend everything's fine so I can hold back the storm alone. So either I'm some oddly introspective, moody 9, or some oddly self-effacing, agreeable 4. *shrug*
same
YEEEEEES SAME OMG FINALLY SOMEONE WHO FEELS THE SAME!! I'm so split, because I feel like I am both... can't we just be both types? Or someone make a type for us. Holy moly I relate, thank you.
9's aren't head types, and you are one, so they don't think as actively as you do (you knew that). 9's are grounded until they get really mad and explode, and maybe you knew that too. I'm glad you made the point that 9's don't think they make an impact on the world. By the way, you might like Starry Hilder's channel on RUclips. She's a Christian living off the grid in Idaho, and I think she may be a 6w7 married to 9w8. Lately Mr. Hilder has been appearing in more of their videos, so you might enjoy their interactions. Thanks for this one. Believe it or not I get 4 and 9 mixed up, especially when they are introverts (INFP and INFJ), have both 4 and 9 in their tritype, and/or are SP first. And it's true but not always noticed that 4's create a fantasy in their minds about how things will be, and it's hard to let go of the fantasy, even though they do know better.
Yeah I agree with the outward showing of excitement, my mind could be racing with excitement but for some reason there seems to be a barrier between that and how my face reacts. I sometimes feel like I sound sarcastic in my response to receiving gifts, even if someone were to give me a Chistmas present that I genuinely liked lol.
are you a 4w5 ?
Nah, I'm an INFP 9w8
Hahaha...I am a 4w5...I laughed out loud in this video. Ok, it's true, I'm a 4! But I wouldn't complain so much if my loved ones went out of their way to do what I want on my birthday...I would complain if they took me someplace I didn't want to go, or did nothing... lol One year my (then) boyfriend told me he was going to bake a cake for me, and then got home late from work and said "Ok, show me how to make this cake." Oh dear, THAT was a mistake!!!!! These videos are really so helpful, you're extremely knowledgable. I would love to see a series on MBTI types as I learn well from your way of communicating, maybe because I think I'm also INFJ. My only critique is that as a non-Christian I don't always want to hear about religious things when I'm here for Enneagram, but it's your channel so you do you, and I appreciate that you try to be balanced.
I was having a real hard time on telling whether I was a 4 or a 9 but your examples were just perfect. Now I'm pretty sure I am a 4 hahahahhahah thank you!
Yep, I definitely have a tendency to think things aren't as big a deal as other people do. I'd also bet that for both me (ISTP) and your husband, whom I know you've mentioned is an ISTJ, being ST types also contributes to the lack of empathy to those who are upset by things.
As for the "Why would somebody confuse types 4 and 9?" question, I'd suggest that it might be helpful to do comparisons between Type 9 and ALL the other types, because of the tendency for Type 9's to merge with whatever types are influencial in their lives, making it difficult for 9's to type themselves. Speaking from personal experience.
''think things aren't as big a deal as other people do'' Is it type 9 thing? One more 9 attribute that i relate to being 4!
I'm definitely a type 4. But I changed a lot of my behavior to be more a type 9. I guess I'm influence by positivity. I think my best friend I is a type 9. It explains why sometimes I have to explain why certain things are a big deal to other people to him. And he explains why things are not as big deal as I make it out to be. I guess this balance me out. Do type 9 have really long lasting friendships?
Type 9's can have long lasting friendships (in their heads). Just so the friend doesn't mind being in the friendship by herself. The thing about 9's is you can have good times, make memories to look back on. You just can't make recent ones. If you have a life or death situation, an emergency? This is where you will question your relationship? They will give you the most stupid reasons why they couldn't help you. It's an insult to your being. It's fucked being on the other end. Especially, when they repeat that you are their friend. Though nothing is said about their friendship to you. Their friendship is just absent most of the time.
If you study the tritypes you can see that it is very possible to have 4 as your heart type and 9 as your instinctual type which is why a lot of infps test very close to 4 and 9. My tritype is actually 469 with 6 being my head type...
I got the same tritype and iam an INFP as well!
@@jilmil33 that is so interesting ! If you search that tritype in RUclips you can find videos of others with this tritype too 😄
@@leahmiller128 I am an INFP too - also 469! It's fascinating... guess that explains why it is so hard to decide!
o • 69 • o
As a 4w5, I can totally relate to the restaurant scenario, and yes I have mastered the art of the sigh.... It sounds bad, but I could laugh just out of recognition.
I’m a 9 but I always felt a real connection to type 4. I’m a really emotional 9, I’m very reactive even in little things if they matter to me, people always told me that I’m too much, too emotional, too naive all that, and I’ve always been in search for an identity, I used to have a lot of identity crisises and feelings of not fitting in very early stages of my life (at 10 to 12 y/o) but that comes from a place of not knowing who I am, what I want, and how I feel (like a nine) not from a place of feeling like something is missing, and I’ve never felt comfortable in sadness, I always run away from bad emotions, and fall asleep to them, nines and 4s have a lot of similarities that people don’t notice about, also both of them withdraw and have problems getting to action, both of them are creative types, and have problems regarding “who they are”
That's funny how you see 9's as grounded & aware. That's comical ! 9's are so not themselves they merge into whoever they are with. They are not grounded if they were they would Know themselves, they are numb or sloth like so disconnected it's not even funny. And 4's you keep on taking these traits and are not explaining them at all in the correct context. 4's have a great imagination, though any fantasies they may have in their head are private & would never be told outloud because we know they are silly, make believe. Its something we do when stress to escape our reality momentarily so we can have peace. Give or take.
Okay, I'm definitely a 4 :"D Good to finally know. Thanks for this video!
Maria 4 as well :^D
This is so interesting. I’m a four but if I was with your dad at the restaurant I would’ve been mortified and mad lol
This was a helpful video, thank you! I also tested as a 4 or 9, with 9 resonating most. But hearing your description of the chain restaurant, where one location was romanticized over the other, was like a mirror. Ultimately, subtypes got me home: I'm a self-preservation 4, and it's natural for me to self-efface, give deference, and show a cheerier disposition.
11mins into the video well I knew I was a 4 but questioned somethings but realized I've just bottled up some of my emotions so I have a hard time feeling comfortable responding sometimes. But if emotions get too strong I can't keep them inside sometimes, I've learned to try to remain calm, and it hard. By the way 4w5.
So a 9, a 4, and a 6 go to dinner.
LMFAOOOOO
People who are torn between 4 and 9, it's like that episode of Ren and Stimpy where Ren gets divided into two people, the two sides of his personality-- his evil side (4) and his... apathetic side (9) lol. I'm mostly kidding, I still love that silly reveal joke from that episode. I do bounce from way to intense to *shrug* meh, and both can be destructive for sure. IDK just learning, good luck with the growth to anyone reading these comments whenever.
This is a very old video but hearing the situation with the garage.... it could not be "not being aware that is a bit
deal" but not wanting to get into a confrontation. In order to avoid it he made the decision by himself and would rather take the anger onto himself and just wait till it passes and supress his guilt annoy the situation since the debate or confrontation about the garage would make him more uncomfortable. Im a 9w1 and I do that, its kind of like "acting dumb" or acting oblivious to a mistake we made
I fucking love you so much, you’re amazing. You provided me so much needed clarity that I’m a 4.
How about doing Type 4 or 2. I understand a 4 can disintegrate to a 2 if falling apart and maybe be mistyped as a 2.
I thought I was a 9 cuz l can be very conflict avoidant,how do you feel about conflict avoidant 4s
I know that this is an old comment, but I am conflict avoidant to a degree and I'm a 4w5. I think some of that has to do with being raised by a pretty closed off 9. If your emotions weren't really validated as a child, then it would make sense to be an emotional storm on the inside while avoiding conflict on the outside. Also conflict triggers my intense emotions and they are intense enough without the added stress of conflict.
Right off the bat she's wrong as hell- 9s are extremely emotional, so much so that they seek stability and can appear calm to others to compensate. 9s are extremely "absorbent", as in, they easily pick up on, internalize other people's emotions and have a hard time separating their own emotions from others. They are -the- empathetic type, whereas 4s are self-absorbed. Also, 4s aren't emotionally expressive. They can appear cold or smoldering, but they don't reveal their feelings and, really, they're not so much the "emotional type" as 2s and 9s are. 4s are 'individualists', as in, their personality is focused on hyper-differentiating, hyper-individuating themselves. They're attuned to a lot more than just "Emotion".
its really tiring how people who don't know the enneagram present themselves as experts based on shallow stereotypes.
True
Thank you for this! I have been studying the enneagram for years and not a lot people really describe the nine correctly.
Gosh right off the bat,
My husband is a 9 and I am a 4 . His lack of emotional range is so annoying to me…
i tend to avoid conflicts, but sometimes i also want to voice my opinions in hope to seek validation of others that have the same ideas as me. but if it turns out there are more people that are against my opinion, i almost ALWAYS throw away my opinion and think "damn, well i guess i'm gonna switch sides🤷♀" does that makes sense??😭
I'm wondering if the 4 in your story had some bad experience at that particular Black Eyed Pea, and that's why they didn't want to go back there. For me, as a 4 with a 6 head fix, if I had some sort of personal rule regarding a location like that, it would be because something happened that really made me lost my trust - maybe the cooks burned my meal, or the waitress was rude.
There are no similarities. It is just that though iam a 4, i do have something to relate that are said about 9 as well. Like detachment to avoid anxiety, fear and stress.
Help! I think I'm a 4 but I'm not very dramatic and I try to be positive. For example with the restaurant thing I wouldn't react that way - I'd feel embarrassed and just be polite. But let's say we were going out to dinner and the restaurant turned out not to have and good gluten-free options (I have Celiac) I might take it kind of personally and get quietly upset. If my friend asked if the food was good I might say "it's fine." Even thought I'm eating a wilted salad while everyone else has hearty delicious looking meals. Would a 9 just get over it and not care? The better I'm doing the more I can be optimistic, if I was already having a bad day I might let people know I didn't love my meal but it was ok.
I always type both almost equally
I tend to exacerbate problems others don't see (catastrophise health symptoms,certain situations etc.) yet minimise others (succeses, school/work stress, people who wrong me,sometimes i don't realise i've hurt other theough certain details until they tell me).So I am really undecided😅
Hi Jennifer! After watching this video (I realize it was a whopping six years ago, haha), I am curious what YOUR enneagram type is? :) You should let me know, because that would be fun for you. Thanks for sharing!
I go to diff Jamba locations bc of differing consistencies!
So.. based on what you've said, I'm guessing you don't care for fours😅
Or nines, honestly 😅
Hey, how do you find your compatibility is with your husband who I believe is ISTJ as an INFJ?
So I’m a 4 & 8. Like there’s no way I’m not. I don’t really relate to the 4 stuff you’re saying in this video.
THANK YOU
You're welcome my dear
@@metkam5153KDSJJDLWHDIWLDH2IDOWJX9OC SHUTUP
Your dad sounds exactly like mine
Classic covert narcissist 4
Hey you look like an intj,good video
Guys if you are not sure if you are a 4 or a 9, then you are a NINE. ur welcome
lol im late, but why exactly
4 here 👋 hopefully the people who commented will read this
I don't know I feel like I'm a little too dramatic to be a 9. But I'm not as dramatic as fours are perceived to be...
@@tinaisalexander9548then you're a 9
I wouldn’t be so quick to say this because I was between both types and this video really summed it up for me that I’m just a 4 with a 9 gut fix.
My whole life my outlook on life has been discontentment, I’ve rarely ever convinced myself that things aren’t as bad as it seems, but simultaneously I try to hold these feelings in (at times) just to avoid spreading my negative energy to others because I don’t want to infect others and bring them down with me.
There are times and situations I under react or over react does that really define much? Or just depends on the mood?
Does 4 take life to seriously/ intensely and
Does 9 take life to unseriously / lightly ?
I think so! Great observation.
Untrue
I don't thing 9s take life lightly.9s take too much life,thats why they sleep to themselfs
As a 4 myself yes I take things to seriously when I take things sensitive… but life is boring for me I need a lot alone time to make it for fun…
I know so many nines that do so much for other people that they exhausted them selves. That is what “sloth” means. To go to sleep to their own desires !! No independent goals.
We do know that but we are nit head type like you right..we talk alot when we are in emotional moments bcos it becomes unbearable for us. You also know where it comes now we have Enneagram and MBTI right?
My 4 and 9 were even on the test.
So if I test 100% 4 and 93% 9.. what happens next?
It was shocking when you said your mom went out of her way which she really didn’t want to do. Think about it from your most emotional state. ( like a 4) oh also add the core belief you don’t feel adequate to deserve) As a four You’re happy someone remembered your birthday and also is trying to celebrate you. Since you’re a worth type you don’t feel validated in that desire. Instead of you asking the four what they want you assumed the easy choice. You also assumed gift giving is simple and has some meaning but not the same detrimental meaning of a four( who is looking for proof of worth and love).. you going “ going out of your way” is something Fours can sniff out as a disingenuous motive. A half ass attempt for yourself is off putting to a 4. You did all this so YOU can feel special. Solidifying further how much I’m not. And also solidifying the contraindication of my beliefs that I am special but no one sees it. Don’t take personal but want to help you see
hey and previous videos u said stuff about trump DID u vote for trump
Tell 4s their overreacting
Tell 9s their underreacting
9s tend to think what they do doesn’t matter
4s as idealistic/unrealistic
9s let things go easily
4s can’t handle reality may fall short of fantasy
9s don’t rise bc they know it’ll be okay
..i'm such a 4, fuck
although i don't relate to the complaining and the martyr thing. i used to be like that when i was little but my 8 dad got really angry at me for being like that so i stopped..