How to be the Most Confident in the Room
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- Опубликовано: 13 май 2024
- Gather around kids, today we are talking all about confidence.
But let’s just clear a couple things up before we start. Confidence doesn’t mean you think you’re going to win all the time, or think you’re going to be the best at stuff, or just be fucking great all the time. That’s not confidence. That’s being an asshole.
Confidence is not a belief in success. It’s a comfort with failure. It’s a belief in yourself, despite the understanding that you’re not always going to win.
Alright, now that we’ve all got that, let’s explore the range of confidence in more detail.
Oh and also, I’m confident you’re gonna love this shit, so like the video and subscribe to the channel. Then go fail at something, you crazy confident bastards.
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Thanks for watching.
Authentic confidence is not something that you "step up" to. It's something that you relax into. It's about being genuinely comfortable in your own skin and with all that you lack. ☀️💫
I'm So relaxed, I'm so comfortable in my own skin.
Therefore I'm never gonna change anything... because doing something is "stepping up" for something. And I don't want that. plus, why should I do anything? That would just stress me out and take me away from my relaxed mindset. Thanks, Random Bald Guru
Say something new
true and i think its also about being comfortable with change and fear. If you can embrace that you are on a good path.
@@upvotecomment2110 It's like the carrot and stick. Just because you reject the stick, doesn't mean that you just relax and don't do nothing. Pain, discomfort is a good jump starter, but positive motivation (you know "relaxing into it" ) is more sustainable in a long run. Ultimately it's about : do you wanna be driven by desperation or inspiration?
Also being relaxed is a skill. Being relaxed for the sake of being relaxed, by avoiding problems and life, is nothing.
Being relaxed while being under pressure, in the face of stress or adversity, that's what it's all about.
And what if you can't do that
How to build confidence?
1. Know yourself
2. Accept yourself without judging yourself
And how can you accept yourself without judging yourself?
@@Agathon88 Thats the problem with people nowadays, they want everything to be oversimplified, but by just being told "accept yourself and dont judge yourself" you wont improve much. Manson gets in depth with his books, thats how you really assimilate a concept, a summary isnt enough
@@stefaniakonstantinidou981 you are who you are.. never let life change your inner core. ❤
3. Be attractive
4. Slay bitches
The Greeks had that Maxim "know thyself" the first step in knowing yourself is to understand you don't. It's also a terrible idea to accept yourself without judgement. What? So your okay just the way you are? How about no, I have areas that need work because I could improve here or there and I reject not accept that.
Whenever this guy says - "Fuck it", I feel positive already.
Yes .
Fuck it.
#teampositive
Yeah fuck it
Fuck yeah 😂
"Self confidence don't come while talking about success. it comes with being comfortable with failure."
The little "I fucking love failure" graphic made me laugh.
The way mark drives his points home is humourous; to me that makes them stick more than the deep long winded profound explanations, although enlightening, I remember the chuckles.
A MONSTER
You have to be OK, with not being OK. Then you'll be OK. - Budda
Yes with not letting failures affect you with you still keep going in life aftwr failures, when you know what your good at, so you then confident.
100% right
My biggest tip to people who have challenges regarding confidence is: people don't care. People don't care as much as one would think. You are your biggest critic. No one worries or judges you, as much as yourself. People have more than enough with themselves. So realize that it's not all about you, and that people really don't care.
ANDDD if you think you are afraid that people would care about your mistakes/failures, you are actually afraid that YOU are mistaken/a failure. it all comes down to your mindset. if you believe that it's ok to fck up and learn from it, then you won't care if other people think otherwise because you believe in yourself more than them
(i learnt this from mark)
And if they do, fuck ‘em
It is very true that people dont care. But on the other hand every time they see you they have the feeling about you that is build on interactions with you. So basically they don’t care in term that they never think about you but it’s all comes to theirs mind subconsciously when they see you.
I’m a clinical psychologist and am often frustrated by self-help ‘gurus’ that give a lot of advice with little research evidence to support it. However, Mark really seems different… he seems extremely well versed in psychological theories and philosophy. I have a doctorate in psychology yet have learned a lot from him and I’m sure will continue to do so!
Wow! Very nice that you are still open to ideas that differ from books and theories taught for years. Bcs I believe that the therapy apply for people of my generation is not the same that the next generation. Bcs society is diferente now with internet etc, and is actually creating a diferent behavior, programs, mental issues, etc.
😊😊😊😊😅😅😅😅😅
Mark reads books,alot of gurus dont
Be always willing to learn be observant
When you wake up in the morning
And think you know it all
Your sick go back to bed. Cause you'll get hurt or hurt someone else.
He who thinks he's perfect IS WRONG.
Hey I also want to be a clinical psychologist.......I hope we can connect
"Confidence is being comfortable with failure." This is true. Some people around me are worry-worts. I hardly ever worry. I feel like I got that confidence after getting a spinal cord injury. When my injury happened, my entire world crumbled, but I survived. I've learned that if I can get through that then I can get through anything.
Great outlook-!!!!
I sacrificed 13 minutes of my day Mark. To realize that everything you said is true and relatable to my life. I sacrificed 7 months of 2021 creating RUclips videos, making content, travelling, doing photography, editing and sacrificed a lot of sleep in hopes that it’ll pay off. I haven’t reached my goals yet, and I’m proud with how far I’ve come. Thank you again for this video!
Didn't expect to see 905 shooter on here. My comment is probably meaningless to you but keep doing your thing playboy. Much love
First 10k is the hardest. Good job brother.
It’s been 2 months bro, we need more content 😊
What I find most meaningful is being a father. I never had much of a male role model in my father so I was lost for most of my life. Now I’m 35 with a 5 year old son and I want him to be a strong stoic level headed man. So I have to be that man. I have to show him through my actions. It’s definitely a hard road but I’m looking forward to the journey.
I believe in you
It's good you're the father that you never had. It's fantastic when you see what father that he needs you to be 💪🤲💕
Love your post 💚💚💚
Bless
So in short confidence is being out there going through life with total acceptance for whatever results we could get enganging with existence
Confidence is holding my coke when ordered, boi
You've really become one of my favorite RUclips channels. Every time I watch your videos, I come out feeling not so crappy about myself as I felt before watching them. I really appreciate you taking time to make these videos, they really influence me as I'm sure they influence a lot of your other viewers as well. It doesn't matter if it takes you months to come up with a video, but please never stop making them.
Your books and your videos have been an immense help for me lately!
Thank you for doing what you're doing! ❤
The argument one is so true. It feels different when you argue in person than online. That is why I don't even spend time arguing online because it's pointless.
Thank you for all that "it's your goal that creates meaning, not the other way around" and " you never know if the goal you chose is a good one". I think I needed to hear that :)
Fine line between confidence and delusion. Most people are riding the second. Especially on social media.
I love your approach to many things. I just asked my son and niece to watch it. They need some guidance and your sincere style is smth they need. We'll discuss it and I am sure there will be some good outcomes of it. Thank you, Mark!
Every time after watching Mark’s videos I feel so much better! 👍🏻👍🏻😄 Thank you so much for your advice!!! 🙏🏻 ☺️
Thanks a ton Mark. This is important.
Confidence = relationship with failure.
More power to you man.
Also, if I may add, being on your side, self-compassion -always n every time.
Mark I love you and your videos so much. You and the fellowship of NA are saving my life ❤️
Your points are very close to my heart and also my outlook towards life, I really cherish your videos. Thanks a lot. 🙂
The goals give meaning to your life, no the other way around. One of those things you knew but never put on a sentence. Amazing!
Love your content. You've been a real help Mark.
Your content has become one of my favorite, Mark! Keep it up
Your description about confidence is really open my mind!
Thank you for another insightful video Mark! I’m looking forward to the next one
I really enjoy listening to you from time to time. I wanted more meaning out of my life there for when the opportunity came to give back I took it in the way that I thought was a good balance for me
Thank you for the eye opening video. I've been struggling with the concept of confidence, working on tackling it and you bring valid, challenging, food for thought. I don't dare say you've "cured" me but I do admit you have helped.
Ps also love your books and just discovered your RUclips channel. I appreciate your wisdom Mark.
This is probably your best video. “Confidence is related to your relationship with failure” is the best thing I’ve heard all year. The best thing!
Always great advice, thanks for sharing your wealth of knowledge bro. Love your books, they've helped me make big changes in my life for the better.
I always ask myself "what if I'm wrong" to the point where it bothers me sometimes. Thanks for this video Mark. I've been binge watching your videos. You're quite helpful 🌼😊❤️🥰
you are wrong.
we all are.
I genuinely enjoy helping other people, but in more of a help people figure our their problems sort of way. Something about just being able to give, and just find joy in that is a gift in itself
I really enjoy the way you speak.
I really enjoy the way you skate
I have watched this video 5 times in a row right now , and it gets better everytime
Mark!!!!!! 🙌🏽 You say things that’s not only easy to understand but also makes soooooooo much sense. It helps me reset my perspective on life. ❤️❤️
Every new video of yours is like a present to me. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us!
Thank you for the message. The message about be confident about failure is huge for me
Thank you for all your content. Its helped me so much on dealing with problems at a deeper subconscious level
Just was thinking about it today morning! and then you posted this!
I love marks attitude and his I don’t care style
It’s amazing
I discovered you tonight... great stuff I needed to hear, love the vibe, thanks so much!
best part of the day is a new video from you!!!
This guy is my spirit animal. He's a bit od an animal, and WE need this atm. Also, becoming truly competent at a skill will also generate confidence. You'll know you've reached a level of 'competence' when you have this genuine and honest realization: "Holy shit, there is so much more I can learn". At that point, you should try to start sharing and teaching what you've learned from a very humble perspective, clearly, while continuing to grow and learn. Just one fool's idea, take care.
U r one of the reasons y I started my channel thank u mark🤩
Excellent video, Mark. Love it! Good mantra. First question and answer was what set the tone for me. When someone else says, "I say _you_ failed on that", you feel like your failures aren't in your control.
You need to pimp your vife out first.
Real confidence, is also accepting who you are and doing what it takes to make your life better even when you fail.
I didn’t hear him say this but one way to become confident is to challenge yourself often. It doesn’t have to be all major ones, just test your abilities on all types things from simple guessing to test judgement and knowledge to physical ones like ‘working harder’ or more reps to develop confidence of one’s physical abilities. By testing oneself often it ties in with Mark’s point of confidence developing from thinking failure over success. I’ve seen and read how military, athletes, spiritual types (monks) and others use testing to develop confidence.
Also the reason I suggest for why people with specialized abilities also do other things well is that, for lack of a better term, smart people will transfer mastery from one task or reasoning to other tasks or reasonings to be successful.
Good video.
Mark, I loved all your books and in regards to "We don't know anything." I agree like you said on your first book "The Subtle Art of Not Giving F*ck" most of the time, we don't know what we are doing. Anyways keep the good work.
Love it man, thank you for all the knowledge, this help me in a profound way!
When mark drops, I throw a party. Congrats on 400k subs
Thank you Mark, for me who look for improve English and understand some matters in our life, you master on both, with 10 to 15 min vidéo we get more that we expect, specially for someone like me who doesn’t have time to read books.
Your stock footage game is amazing, maybe the best I've seen.
Also, your comment "Confidence is not the belief in success but rather the comfort with failure" may be one of the bigger takeaways you 've given me. So thanks for all that
-This guy changed my life , you are a great leader 😊✨.
A number of years ago I had a failure. It was a total reboot in life. I sold my house, put my stuff in storage, moved to a different state, and started a whole new career. I wondered how I would look back on that time. I came back, stronger and more confident than before. Knowing that I would rise up again, no matter how far I fell has made me so much stronger. When I hear the music that I listened to back in that time of my life, I feel good about things. I'm comforted by my memories of that time -- something I did not think would happen.
holy shit i was about to cry because im insecure AF and im bitter when other people is doing better than me or reaching their goals. and this suddenly pops up on my notifications. u da best manson
Don't compare your path with others. It will rob your happiness. Also think that you just compare yourself with the people who do better than you, but not with the ones which are miserable... give it a thougth
@@AndreTudor thank you! im learning this the hard way, its just that im also bombarded with “successful” young people around me and this pressure kind of build up and im trying my best to be grateful for what i have and am right now (sorry for bad english)
but yes i keep telling myself that my time will come, and that im too young theres no need to rush.
You should read his books
@@shanti9088 already have the subtle art of not giving a F, saving penny to buy the new one
This is so important. I have come to believe that, I might be wrong. No matter what I think or believe, I might be wrong. I incorporated this in my life a few years ago and it has been fucking amazing experience. I first of all really started to listen to what someone else has to say. And I realized that it opened my mind to the world, to understand the importance of knowing that I don't know shit.. second thing I know is I don't know shit about even, shit, that has open up libraries and looking forward to the promise that maybe someday I will still not know shit but I might know myself a little bit better. I manage my bipolar symptoms with the world around the idea that I might be wrong and it is and has been working for some years now. And the funny thing is, I might be wrong, but it's working out pretty good for me. So what the heck, I will hold the course, wind to my back and the sails are full.
Watched it the 3rd time now, your videos are pure golden advice for (young) people out there, thank you so much!!!
The best way I have found to learn is to find the most talented person you know or have access to and ask questions until they get tired of answering them and then come back the next day and ask more until you are as good as them. I was an Engineer at Intel and I learned far more in a few months using this approach than I learned in all my higher education.
Radical compassion. I think this is a response to a different video but I think that is an important guide I try use when approaching situations.
Mark, I just heard about you a few weeks ago and just finished "The subtle are of not giving a f*ck." Thank you for writing that great book, I legitimately find myself almost every day thinking about your book when situations come up and I just ask myself, "why do I give a f*ck?" Matthew Kelly has been another big influence and you both have had a huge impact on my life. It would be so cool if you both did a video together!
absolutley love your videos and leaving a comment to support!
Thanks Mark! This was very helpful. I also love your fuck it attitude and the freedom that it clearly gives you.
Thanks you Mark for this tips about confidence.
Can I just take a moment to appreciate that the stock footage at 1:24 exists; it made my day. I had to pause it, rewind it, and play it again so that i could re-laugh at it. Amazing choice.
Mark, you are a cool dude man. You seem like someone in control of his feelings and life. And if you can do it, I can do it and that gives me confidence. Keep it going and I'm going to lay back and watch your hilarious videos and laugh on things I took more seriously in the past than I should have taken. Cheers
Man You are great, your book models Is the best book on dating advice i`ve ever read!
Ahhh It's changing so many perspectives~~ always happy to see mark's videos. Thanks, Mark!
Man you need more than 407K followers for this amazing advice you give
I'd love to see you do some of these with summaries of some great works, like Dreams, Memories and Reflections. I think we sometimes now have too many voices on the internet, and you have a clear grasp of the main things (imho). If your audience has grown up with you, some heavier, deeper, original works with your own reasoned updated spin I think will offer great anchors to development, reduce suffering, be more accountable etc.... and, thank you for all you have done so far.
Really needed to hear QN 5...hope to have the courage and also hope the next one would be a better fit
Buddhist philosophy driven man. Always love your do not suck advice.
Yeah...it's true...
Probably the best video I have seen related to life and philosophy 🔥🔥
An analogous point: get out there and take a risk - having thought through ahead of time whether you'll be OK if it doesn't work out.
I was lost before I found this dude, making the same mistakes over & over cuz I kept reading the same shit that was wrong, mark puts it in a way that not only grabs your attention but forces you to realize something in yourself, I now consider his words my bible. Simple, direct & with a bit of new world humor thrown in
Thanks man! Once again you help me in difficult time of my life
Finding your why helps i.e. what is driving you. I have two why’s 1) learning and grow thus testing and doing things I never did before and 2) spreading love and positivity because it’s contagious. That gives you a meaning because you can express you why’s in various form. Example : I’m baking cakes because I want to try new recipes to extend my cooking skills (why number 1). But that’s also the reason why I will start working on a different scope in my job soon. I just need to deal with the uncertainty and discomfort that come when you step out of your comfort zone (😨😳😱)
Been my experience with myself and others. People think ,I need to confident then I'll go do the the thing. It's the other way around, you do the thing that builds the confidence. I was a personal trainer, I worked with alot of people most I help in some form. I seen time and time again, someone wanted to run a race or lose weight but wouldn't try because they lacked confidence, not realizing it running the race is what creates the confidence.
Great video!!! One of your best to date!
Thank you for creating your content! Your articles have helped me get through some tough stuff in the past. Love your mindset and the way you explain things. Keep up the great work!
Wow, that was eureka moment for me! Confidence doesn't come from success, it comes from how you deal with failure 🤯
Thanks Mark. Love ur books and videos. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I’ve got to read your books Mark. Thanks for the wisdom!
I love the musicianship examples. I’ll be using that clip for my music theory classes ❤❤🙏🙏🙏
I just want it to be known, I knew the answer to the question “most people never ask themselves” before you said it. I ask myself, “what if I’m wrong” all the time. Maybe even to a fault.
Hey Mark, thanks so much for responding to my rather philosophical question, certainly wasn't expecting that!
I think the thing I think about is how, now that I think it's more likely that there's no objective basis for stuff, it feels like i can see the man behind the curtain, and my actions don't feel intrinsic but rather instrumental - yeah I can choose my own goals, why not (that perspective sounds more like ~existentialism to me than nihilism), but the reason to do something is just to hack my amygdala - and I struggle to be present accordingly. I remember hearing about a psychological study of ski racers that said they effectively play a psychological trick on themselves in order to girl themselves down the mountain in such a dangerous way, and I feel like I've lost the ability to trick myself. Here's hoping I can learn to not give a f*uck about that (reference not intended?). Thanks so much for the encouragement and for being real
I used to think I couldn't be confident because I didn't have enough successes in life. It is only in the last few years that I have started to notice things going well some of the time as well as not so well and that I often cope reasonably well when things are less good. And even when something bad happens it doesn't last any more than it does when something good happens. I am still finding I am more confident at work than other areas of my life so this video helps.
“Confidence is related to failure.” That stuck in my mind… I just discovered your channel recently and there are so many nuggets! Thanks for sharing your (sometimes controversial) point of view with us, even if you don’t have to.
And yes, hopefully I will be a “shitty lazy” youtuber as you are 😅❤️
Hahaha I love your books and videos and I' am feeling inner peace right now. Thank you for this humor way with you are learn us these trues about life. 😎❤️
@Jana. You are right by the way, how are you and how is the week going for you? looking forward for your reply.
So sad that we didn't have 'the harsh truth of the day" but it was great as always Mark thank you!
I get thrilled whenever you upload a video your philosophy actually changed my life especially when you talk about pain this point had a massive impact on my life i am now on the process of changing from a whimp spineless person into a strong warrior thank u so much mr mark 🙆♀️🙆♀️🙆♀️🙆♀️
Great vídeo, Mark. I really I appreciated it
Thank you Mark and Melinda, this is relatable and valuable.
At 18 I was a bored depressed bricklayer. I remember thinking that nothing in the world meant anything or had any value so what was the point. I came to your conclusion that if there was not point or meaning to life I might as well do anything I liked. I learnt to play saxophone, went to college and got A levels. The University to do philosophy and literature. Then trained to be a barrister. Decided that wasn't for me so trained to be a stone carver. I've been doing that for 30 years . Still love my job. Love my wife and kids. Still love not giving a fuck in the pursuit of fun. So it turns out there is a meaning to life after all. love and share your world view too. Thanks Mark.
I never comment on videos but I wanted to let you know if you read this that your time sacrificed making this helped me tremendously. I've felt on the verge of a panic attack after reading The Denial of Death and you've been a good fucking chap to help me at ease. Thanks Mark.
Well, heavy or not, I find learning meaningful in this life. I can't earn money and support my kids that way though, so I'm heading toward a nursing degree. Getting to talk to a variety of populations in some of their most vulnerable places in life certainly teaches a lot-- and I get to feel good at the end of the day because those people in their most vulnerable times get to have a person who is confident they can help them, and who won't judge them for being vulnerable.
Hi Mark, bought your book and reading it, loving it, 😊 thanks
This is just what I needed now!!!
Goals create meaning- love this truth bomb!
Dang. Nice last message, too. Thanks!
We love you Mark!
Thank you for the great video. Getting comfortable with failure and comfortable with the idea of everything will be okay. The sun rises and sets no mater what you do.....