15 Paradoxes That Will Change Your Life

Поделиться
HTML-код
  • Опубликовано: 28 май 2024
  • Ever noticed that the harder you push for something, the harder it feels to achieve?
    Or the more available something is, the less you will want it?
    A paradox is something like this, something that is seemingly self-contradictory but after giving it a little consideration actually starts to make a lot of f*cking sense. That’s what makes paradoxes such mindfucks. And that’s what I love about them.
    Over my years working in this business, I’ve found that some of life’s real grains of wisdom emerge from paradoxes. So stick around, I’m sharing a bunch of them right here, right now.
    INTRO: 00:00
    PARADOX #01: Friendships 1:02
    PARADOX #02: Success 1:56
    PARADOX #03: Fear 2:31
    PARADOX #04: Personality 3:23
    PARADOX #05: Connectivity 4:09
    PARADOX #06: Happiness 5:11
    PARADOX #07: Knowledge 6:13
    PARADOX #08: Being Right 7:06
    PARADOX #09: Imperfections 7:33
    PARADOX #10: Choice 8:26
    PARADOX #11: Relationships 9:19
    PARADOX #12: Loving Yourself 10:30
    PARADOX #13: Death 11:15
    PARADOX #14: Uncertainty 11:50
    PARADOX #15: Change 11:58
    BONUS PARADOX: 12:18
    Oh and there’s one more. The more you spend your time liking this video and subscribing to this channel, the less sleep you lose at night. Or something like that. Now, go watch it. And leave a comment.
    -
    Sign up for my newsletter to receive three actionable pieces of advice each week that could change your life - free sign up here: bit.ly/3JRg3NX
    If you are not already a member of my premium membership, get access to my courses and exclusive writing here: bit.ly/3LwHWfi
    I am Mark Manson, 3x #1 NY Times bestselling author of:
    The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck - mrk.mn/3svfxcu
    Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope - mrk.mn/2RNxVAD
    I share other types of content to make you a less awful human in these places:
    / markmanson
    / iammarkmanson
    / markmansonnet
    / markmanson
    / iammarkmanson
    Thanks for watching.

Комментарии • 2,2 тыс.

  • @RahulKumar-pd5gy
    @RahulKumar-pd5gy 2 года назад +6155

    The videos we save for later,are the ones we never watch.

  • @Triathlon.
    @Triathlon. 2 года назад +3543

    Bonus paradox: structure leads to freedom. I used to hate structure and schedules and routine, but discipline led to more freedom than I had when I did whatever I wanted.

    • @emmanuelmunene7560
      @emmanuelmunene7560 2 года назад +196

      I think the best way to phrase this is "True freedom requires restraint."

    • @ttt614
      @ttt614 2 года назад +59

      Read the book Discipline Equals Freedom: Field Manual, by JOCKO WILLINK. Worth reading.

    • @moondust1992
      @moondust1992 2 года назад +31

      I never feel as good as I do when I have routine, I really faltered during covid when my routine was stripped

    • @widmaljanuka5446
      @widmaljanuka5446 2 года назад +21

      yeah, and this also applies to doing something creative right?
      if you outline and structure what ever youre trying to create it just takes out a lot of anxiety in the beginning i think.

    • @tone8301
      @tone8301 2 года назад

      @@moondust1992 big fax

  • @tywest4
    @tywest4 2 года назад +449

    Paradox #11 about relationships was a big one for me to learn...and although worded a little differently by the father of a girl I was dating at the time...he said "Relationships are a lot like trying to fart. If you have to force it, its probably shit."

  • @shiftystylin
    @shiftystylin 2 года назад +15

    Totally relates to work.
    The more "productive" you are, the more work they give you.
    The more "experienced" you become, the more responsibilities you get given.
    Whilst you'd think these go hand in hand, all they really do is force you to become less productive with more on your plate, and force you to make bad decisions with responsibilities you've not had time to master yet.

    • @DS40764
      @DS40764 9 месяцев назад +1

      Or they hold you to higher standerd

    • @ll5974
      @ll5974 2 месяца назад

      Peter Principle

  • @JosephShapiroTech
    @JosephShapiroTech 2 года назад +1175

    Regularly doing difficult things makes life a lot easier.
    Regularly taking the easy way out makes life a lot more difficult.

    • @johnthegreat97
      @johnthegreat97 Год назад +31

      "Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life" -Some European bodybuilder or weightlifter that I cant remember the name of

    • @arcane1871
      @arcane1871 Год назад +6

      @@johnthegreat97 yeah was about to say that one. It’s a good quote.

    • @voidwalker2456
      @voidwalker2456 Год назад +1

      I actually learned that 1 at the age of 12, I was a discord moderator for servers with like 100+ people and I quickly learned by taking the extra time and effort to find the root of a problem and solve it the problem actually went away and I've seen mods who just slap bandaid solutions onto everything and every single fight gets a little more aggressive as problems piled up

    • @mikeg3950
      @mikeg3950 Год назад +2

      I’ve always sad that if I don’t wanna do something, it’s probably good for me to do it

    • @Gored1
      @Gored1 Год назад +2

      Depends on the person.

  • @praveenmishra430
    @praveenmishra430 2 года назад +1476

    1) The more you try to make people like you the less likely they will.
    2) The more you fail the more you are likely to succeed.
    3) The more something scares you the more likely you should consider doing it.
    4) The more you hate a trait in other people the more likely you are avoiding that in yourself.
    5) The more connected we became with the world the more isolated we seem to feel.
    6) You can only have a happy relationship if you are happy being by yourself.
    7) The more you learn the more you realise you don't know shit.
    8) The more a person is convinced they are right the more likely they are wrong.
    9) The more honest you are about your fault the more people will think you are perfect.
    10) The more options you have the less satisfied you will be with each one.
    11) The more you forces a relationship the more likely you are to break up.
    12) The more you are able to love yourself the more you will be able to love others.
    13) The less afraid you are of death the less afraid you are to live.
    14) The only certainty is uncertainty.
    15) The only constant is change.

    • @aayushsharma1971
      @aayushsharma1971 2 года назад +22

      thanks man I could not watch the video so this helped a lot

    • @atharvakadam1507
      @atharvakadam1507 2 года назад +6

      Thanks

    • @uttamkumarpathak1365
      @uttamkumarpathak1365 2 года назад +26

      The more you try to appear high status lower status you will appear.

    • @Entgkar7
      @Entgkar7 2 года назад +17

      You are awesome. I can now copy and paste this on my notes. God bless you.

    • @praveenmishra430
      @praveenmishra430 2 года назад +6

      @@Entgkar7 Thanks brother.

  • @abefroman81
    @abefroman81 2 года назад +85

    I've always told my kids, change is always going to happen and your happiness is going to depend on how willing you are to accept and adapt to change.

  • @montyhendricks7357
    @montyhendricks7357 2 года назад +40

    He who praises everyone, praises no one. My mom taught me this

  • @MindsettoMastery
    @MindsettoMastery 2 года назад +435

    One of the life's biggest paradoxes - once you 'let go', you will find happiness and perhaps counterintuitively get what you want.

    • @ShadiElDah
      @ShadiElDah 2 года назад +18

      Absolutely, it is crazy how this one belief can completely transform the whole of humanity, yet hardly anyone is aware of it.

    • @gentleman8550
      @gentleman8550 2 года назад +4

      Groundhog day

    • @ElectronFieldPulse
      @ElectronFieldPulse 2 года назад +12

      Or you will quickly spiral and end up homeless. This is certainly not a fact.

    • @pixtlewint5095
      @pixtlewint5095 Год назад +1

      The backwards law

  • @raymondtendau2749
    @raymondtendau2749 2 года назад +533

    "The more we pursue feeling better all the time,the less satisfied we will become as pursuing something only reinforces the fact that we lack it in the first place.
    ‐Allan Watts,The Backwards Law.

    • @anshanshtiwari8898
      @anshanshtiwari8898 2 года назад +5

      That is so true!!

    • @michaelchildish
      @michaelchildish 2 года назад +10

      I do love Alan Watts, his blend of totally rational psychology and social commentary, clever wordplay that turns you inside out and makes you laugh, and a teensy bit mystical all at once. I often fall asleep listening to his speeches and wake up feeling totally relaxed, something I was never accustomed to til recently!

    • @yetanotherjohn
      @yetanotherjohn 2 года назад +6

      THIS is why I chose marijuana as my Vice. She is a girlfriend, not a wife. I can last a day or a week or a month or even a year without Ganja. And it's always just fine. But gee, I miss her xD

    • @maartenvz
      @maartenvz 2 года назад +4

      The formula for happiness = reality/expectations. Pursuing feeling better all the time equals increasing your expectations. Lowering your expectations is the way to go, enjoying/appreciating what we have.

    • @jasminateodorovic1248
      @jasminateodorovic1248 2 года назад +3

      Watts is amazing! I've been listening to him for over a decade now. One of the best things, among soooo many others, is - "Never mind every word I utter. Listen to me like you would listen to the general hum of the world". Love him!

  • @Chess__
    @Chess__ Год назад +12

    1.The Paradox of Choice: We believe that having more choices will make us happier, but in reality, too many choices can lead to anxiety, indecision, and dissatisfaction.
    2. The Paradox of Success: We think that achieving success will make us happy, but often the pursuit of success can lead to stress, burnout, and unhappiness.
    3. The Paradox of Control: We believe that having control over our lives will make us feel more secure, but too much control can lead to rigidity, inflexibility, and anxiety.
    4. The Paradox of Vulnerability: We believe that vulnerability is a weakness, but in reality, it is a strength that allows us to connect with others and be authentic.
    5. The Paradox of Trust: We believe that trust is something that must be earned, but sometimes the act of trusting can be what leads to trustworthiness.
    6. The Paradox of Freedom: We believe that having unlimited freedom is the key to happiness, but too much freedom can lead to feelings of aimlessness, loneliness, and anxiety.
    7. The Paradox of Change: We resist change because it is uncomfortable and unfamiliar, but without change, we cannot grow or improve.
    8. The Paradox of Time: We believe that time is something we can control, but in reality, time controls us, and the more we try to hold onto it, the faster it seems to slip away.
    9. The Paradox of Perception: We believe that our perception of reality is objective and accurate, but in reality, our perception is influenced by our biases, beliefs, and experiences.
    10. The Paradox of Happiness: We believe that happiness is something we can achieve by pursuing pleasure and avoiding pain, but in reality, happiness is a byproduct of living a meaningful and fulfilling life.
    😢

  • @andredarin8966
    @andredarin8966 9 месяцев назад +5

    The more I listen to a self-hero guru, the more help I need.

  • @RahulSaini-wg8wn
    @RahulSaini-wg8wn 2 года назад +999

    Paradox #16
    The more self-development content you consume, the less you are likely to develop/improve

    • @saikamahmud3112
      @saikamahmud3112 2 года назад +16

      so what do you suggest we do

    • @SuperiorityQomplex
      @SuperiorityQomplex 2 года назад +159

      @@saikamahmud3112 Self development content is great, but without taking action with it, it's useless.
      One of my mentors put it this way: 'Knowing without Doing is the same as not Knowing.'

    • @Deadpool-kb5yo
      @Deadpool-kb5yo 2 года назад +32

      @@SuperiorityQomplex In fact, not knowing is actually better. Because there's the possibility that you will know at some point. Whereas someone who knows but does nothing, what hope is there in that?

    • @SuperiorityQomplex
      @SuperiorityQomplex 2 года назад +24

      @@Deadpool-kb5yo Agreed. And like one of the other paradoxes said, you learn more from making mistakes anyway.
      That mentor I was talking about also said that a good model to go by is:
      Ready-> Shoot-> Aim.
      The idea being very similar to what we're talking about.
      But yet another mentor I've learned from said that Luck was a combination of Good Mentors and Taking Action. Because you can learn from their mistakes and later your own to cut down the time in creating Luck. Note that Lucky people only seem lucky from people on the outside who didn't see the steps that were taken beforehand. It appears like Magic if you never saw all the steps it took to get the Rabbit in the Hat beforehand.
      Either way, Action is the most important part of it all. And I suspect that most Self Help Gurus know that. It's why they get to sell more than one book/course to people. They know people won't take action cus they are afraid to fail, so they keep coming back to Self Help in order to feel safe again by learning more. And then they lose faith and buy the next book/course. I'm not even faulting gurus, they wanna make a buck too. But it is the darkside of Self Help...

    • @maskedviper4079
      @maskedviper4079 2 года назад +20

      I believe in this shit too because you will become overly optimistic and you think you're making a progress but actually you're just letting the time pass by and i realize it this past few months. To be honest, I wasted so much time but atleast i learn and that's what's important.

  • @hannibaldelephantrider7614
    @hannibaldelephantrider7614 2 года назад +447

    Extraordinary life is lived when you appreciate ordinary things.

  • @njdjninja
    @njdjninja 2 года назад +21

    I subscribed! I loved this. I learned a lot and I'm a 60 year old who believes adamantly that it is never too late to learn something new. Thank you!!

  • @tuananhhoang673
    @tuananhhoang673 Год назад +6

    I find Mark's videos are great for background noise while im working. Love the knowledge with a little bit of attitude, really gets me going.

    • @ecek123
      @ecek123 11 месяцев назад +1

      background noise?🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @philvd4000
    @philvd4000 2 года назад +362

    Paradox number 16: the more time you spend watching self improvement videos on RUclips, the less time you have to improve yourself. ;)

    • @natenick2
      @natenick2 2 года назад +3

      Hilarious! Im living it every day

    • @jimmorris9824
      @jimmorris9824 2 года назад +13

      I feel like this is a fact. The paradox I feel is the more self improvement videos you watch the less likely you are to improve.

    • @mind-blowinggames7528
      @mind-blowinggames7528 2 года назад

      Because current self-help industry is ineffective. Books, videos etc. are very limited medium. IMO much better tool is games, because better visualizes and lets practice to some extent (such as "Celeste" feather scene). So I am trying to make them (form of therapy). If you are interested in the subject, I suggest to watch "Games for change" RUclips channel.

    • @atomnous
      @atomnous 2 года назад +6

      This one is actually "the less time you spend on improving yourself, the more time you spend watching self improvement videos."
      It's not bad, it's leaving you with some knowledge

    • @mind-blowinggames7528
      @mind-blowinggames7528 2 года назад +2

      @@atomnous 1 played "Celeste" feather scene is worth at least 10 just watched self-development videos.

  • @prettywitty1912
    @prettywitty1912 2 года назад +103

    Others: Dream Big, Think beyond your imagination, You'r a Winner.
    Manson: Fuck it.

    • @maharufkhan6071
      @maharufkhan6071 2 года назад +1

      Manson didn't mean it at all. You just kind of believed it cause it sounds cool

    • @prettywitty1912
      @prettywitty1912 2 года назад +1

      @@maharufkhan6071 I know , in his books he clearly mentioned "You'r not special, and these types of things that I wrote above is kind of superficial.. may be it works for someone but not for everyone" so yeah

    • @prettywitty1912
      @prettywitty1912 2 года назад +1

      @a True!

    • @ayanbhattacharjee1076
      @ayanbhattacharjee1076 2 года назад +2

      @@maharufkhan6071 not directly, but he actually meant that u should do ordinary things with focus(which ultimately leads to success) instead of being too delusional and dreaming while putting less effort.

  • @AwokenEntertainment
    @AwokenEntertainment Год назад +18

    learning these is definitely a great way to quickly expand your mind

  • @jerrybrown1446
    @jerrybrown1446 2 года назад +10

    The harder you try to sleep, the longer you stay awake. The harder you try to stay awake, the harder it is to keep your eyes open.

    • @rbz1
      @rbz1 Год назад +1

      lmao..so true. I've fought dozing and rewound missed parts just trying to make it to the end of a movie and the times i give up, stop the movie and decide to sleep...I can't doze off to save my life then.

  • @bluejayjitsu4429
    @bluejayjitsu4429 2 года назад +273

    Awesome list!
    3 more:
    The more time you give to self care,
    The more time you'll have to give to others. Lack of self care breeds being so caught up in your inner firefighting that you don't have energy or time to contribute.
    The more stressful the work load, the longer you'll put it off, thus giving yourself less time to do it.
    Giving up can motivate you to continue. E.g. trying to force a poem out , Giving up, then the mental relief of that gives space for creativity again.

    • @anshanshtiwari8898
      @anshanshtiwari8898 2 года назад +7

      Wow! All that is so accurate!

    • @deepamishra9224
      @deepamishra9224 2 года назад +3

      Absolutely true... Especially the first one.. Happens all the time with me

    • @reichen666
      @reichen666 Год назад +4

      Love the third one....can relate ✋🏼

    • @talkingxwind
      @talkingxwind Год назад +1

      three is fantastic!

    • @EsotericBibleSecrets
      @EsotericBibleSecrets 11 месяцев назад +2

      I have to write things down immediately when I get inspired. If I put it off until I'm ready I just can't find the words.

  • @storyteller7453
    @storyteller7453 2 года назад +41

    "In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice; in practice, there is!"
    Yogi Berra, baseball coach

    • @beigecricket6066
      @beigecricket6066 2 года назад +1

      That's just a theory!

    • @johnrogers4261
      @johnrogers4261 2 года назад

      @@beigecricket6066 True, if we test it, will it break?!

    • @beigecricket6066
      @beigecricket6066 2 года назад

      @@johnrogers4261 that depends on the results of the test, and then how we articulate them mitigating biases, if at all we can.

  • @sneakers_guy5488
    @sneakers_guy5488 Год назад +20

    Here's one: the more responsibility you take, the easier it is to live.
    Responsibility requires work and effort. Though, it allows you to get through each day easier because you do it for a reason.

    • @DS40764
      @DS40764 9 месяцев назад

      Love this one

  • @canijustplease
    @canijustplease Год назад +6

    The bonus paradox is something i have always struggled with. You have to get out of your comfort zone to get to a comfortable place.

  • @complexjanedoe
    @complexjanedoe 2 года назад +67

    Mark makes me feel secure I can not explain it....after every video I'm like oh I really will be okay lol.

    • @gaspollboss
      @gaspollboss 2 года назад +1

      When you think you really really okay, means you are not.

    • @gaspollboss
      @gaspollboss 2 года назад +1

      @@complexjanedoe sounds like you need to convince yourself.🧐

    • @LauraPerez-kr8bn
      @LauraPerez-kr8bn Год назад +1

      Me too.

    • @parthkhanayat420
      @parthkhanayat420 2 месяца назад +1

      omg me too, I just get a sense of relief, he radiates an energy which makes life look fun

  • @Pandrogas
    @Pandrogas 2 года назад +87

    Spoiled Child Paradox: The more someone gives someone else what they want, the less happy that person will be over time.
    True happiness is not something that can be given or purchased.

    • @mahmoodali3334
      @mahmoodali3334 2 года назад +2

      I extremely want to show this to my father- I have a spoiled ass little brother

  • @Oncewasgolden
    @Oncewasgolden 2 года назад +8

    Love is the most amazing feeling you will ever experience, yet it is also the most painful too.

  • @osareafallire
    @osareafallire 11 месяцев назад +3

    Since January (now June), and totally unrelated to watching this video (and therefore entirely related to it), I've taken up a commitment of vulnerability and it is FREAKY how confident and sure of myself everyone seems to think I am now. I told a friend secconds ago I feel like I'm throwing out land mines just to walk on them. But I've never felt more free and more in touch with my own self. And still the land mines are everywhere. 🙂

  • @chrishorst2124
    @chrishorst2124 2 года назад +107

    Another paradox: exercising in the morning gives you more energy for the rest of the day.

    • @anshanshtiwari8898
      @anshanshtiwari8898 2 года назад +1

      So true!!

    • @trejours9148
      @trejours9148 Год назад

      Word

    • @barryclausen2280
      @barryclausen2280 Год назад +5

      Or physical exercise is key to mental health. If you are panicking do 5 minutes of intense exercise. Works every time

  • @PensareFilms
    @PensareFilms 2 года назад +85

    "when I was young and stupid"..
    Here's a paradox you might find useful. The more harshly you judge your former self, the more likely you are to judge others and future versions of yourself harshly.
    Forgiving yourself allows you to forgive others. There's a way to be honest and vulnerable without being self-deprecating.
    How people treat themselves is a great insight into how they treat others, and how people treat others is a window into how they treat themselves.
    When I meet someone who says "I was so stupid, I was so lazy, but now I'm not" I see that as an expression of shame, not accpetance. And I'm aware that it won't be long before they're judging me in the same way.
    But if someone says "I made mistakes, and I'm okay with that" I'm almost certain that this is a person who has found acceptance and humility.
    You help so many people Mark. And there's probably a wire somewhere which says that if you didn't consistently beat yourself up, you'd stop achieving.
    But there's that final paradox. That when you don't need success, that's when you can truly find it. When you accept yourself, and are truly comfortable in your failures, success finds you in a more peaceful and satisfying way.

    • @ILikeGuns1992
      @ILikeGuns1992 2 года назад +4

      What's difference with calling yourself being stupid and making mistake and just telling your made a mistake though?
      > But there's that final paradox. That when you don't need success, that's when you can truly find it. When you accept yourself, and are truly comfortable in your failures, success finds you in a more peaceful and satisfying way.
      If you are not interested in success you will do nothing though.

    • @PensareFilms
      @PensareFilms 2 года назад +5

      @@ILikeGuns1992 needing success to validate your existence and being interested in success without unhealthy attachments aren't the same things. There is a crucial distinction.

    • @ILikeGuns1992
      @ILikeGuns1992 2 года назад +2

      @@PensareFilms this just sounds like overthinking it.

    • @lightrylian6912
      @lightrylian6912 2 года назад

      To answer your first question, the difference is the feelings invoked. Whether you call yourself or others stupid, it usually invokes the feelings of being judged, which makes you defensive. When you genuinely admit that you made a mistake, it invokes feelings of humbleness, which is about giving up your defenses, you are not resisting, neither conciously nor subconciously.
      At least that is my experience, it rarely makes a difference to me as well, personally, but I know it usually does for others.

  • @Ashtarte3D
    @Ashtarte3D 2 года назад +28

    My favorite failure cliche/quote is a simple one from Mythbusters uttered quite often by Adam Savage and always stuck with me: Failure is always an option.
    Some of these though I feel aren't bulletproof. Like I'm not afraid of death at all but I can be pretty risk adverse in many areas. Also on the point of "you can only love others as much as yourself" this is probably true for most people but feel it doesn't apply to me. I can be very self-loathing but I keep that inside and love my friends deeply and would bury bodies for them.

    • @rachelkrumpelman5131
      @rachelkrumpelman5131 Год назад +6

      Yeah, I agree, I am horrible at loving myself or giving grace to myself, yet I have all the love, grace, and acceptance in the world for other ppl. I treat strangers with more respect than I give myself.

    • @m.l.7558
      @m.l.7558 Год назад +5

      While I think that is great, it is easier to lose yourself if you don't love yourself. Has happened to folks I know and myself , when I thought it would never happen. However, each person Is unique. I hope you guys love yourselves in some capacity because you seem like very loving and honest people and that is amazing

  • @borokymusic
    @borokymusic Год назад +49

    I love this! I don't have my own paradox, just a note: with the 'you can only have a happy relationship if you're happy being by yourself' one, I think it's true , but it could be understood to mean happiness by yourself is a prerequisite for a relationship at all, whereas I think a relationship can help you become happy being with yourself. I've seen it happen with a number of people, myself included, and attachment theory affirms the idea, too.

    • @Heathcoatman
      @Heathcoatman 10 месяцев назад +2

      You have a point that applies sometimes, perhaps even most of the time. However, one of the most prolific reasons people arent happy is loneliness. In this world of internet relationships and remote work, there are quite a few people who would be happy with their life if only they had someone to share it with.

  • @soaadderar8062
    @soaadderar8062 2 года назад +58

    "Learn to be comfortable with this discomfort" is my new ✨AFFIRMATION✨

    • @Joe-ro1ms
      @Joe-ro1ms 2 года назад +3

      "The more affirmations you have, the less affirmed you feel" Fuck it, I'm wrong about that.

    • @JaysonT1
      @JaysonT1 2 года назад +1

      @@Joe-ro1ms Actually, you are exactly correct. Affirmations are popular pseudo-psychology. For the vast majority of people the brain doesn't believe the affirmation and pushes back with "reasons" the affirmation is "wrong". Inturn, it enforces the opposite of the affirmation.
      Please, look into this. It's well-known in psychology but affirmations are still pushed very hard in pseudo-psychology circles.

  • @koswag1204
    @koswag1204 2 года назад +36

    A paradox that's been on my mind recently, is that the more you are trying to live in the here and now, the less you can keep track of it. You struggle to hang on to the present moment even though you already are in the present moment, and that's why you fail to do so.
    I think that it precisely illustrates why self development is such a big problem for us, especially in our task-oriented culture

  • @seanaguayo
    @seanaguayo Год назад +5

    I have found the older I get that maturity comes when you can start to hold two conflicting ideas in your heart

  • @guidedmeditation2396
    @guidedmeditation2396 11 месяцев назад +2

    Persistence in the face of failure takes on a magical life of its own for a reason. It isn't really about how many fails you rack up it is the FAITH that you will eventually succeed that when done properly, makes an impression on the universal matrix. Once you have sufficiently made an impression, people, circumstances and events fall into place. If you have always wondered what the all seeing eye is about. This pretty much sums it up. 🎇

  • @hichamababou188
    @hichamababou188 2 года назад +28

    I personally experience Paradox number 9. I used to think that tough people are the ones who hid their weaknesses, and by having no weaknesses whatsoever, no one would hurt them. That's why I basically isolated myself from others so that no one would know how fucking weak I am. Interestingly, when I got into a truly amazing relationship, I started little by little talking about literally how fucked up I am, and then I suddenly realised that the more I talked about my flaws the less they seem to be. I just discovered that the more you talk about your weaknesses the more powerful you become.

    • @m.l.7558
      @m.l.7558 Год назад +1

      How is the relationship going?

    • @m.l.7558
      @m.l.7558 Год назад

      I'm on the isolation period after relying too much on others, here's hoping that you are doing good

    • @hichamababou188
      @hichamababou188 Год назад

      @@m.l.7558 Sadly, it ended 2 years before writing that comment, but it is wonderful how some relationships teach us a lot about ourselves even when they are long dead.

    • @hichamababou188
      @hichamababou188 Год назад

      @@m.l.7558 there is absolutely nothing wrong in relying on others, we are humans, not God. We need to rely on each other to survive, but within limits of course. Dont buy the whole "codependency issues" narratives that shame people relying on others. Be kind to yourself dear friend.

  • @charliecoxyy8447
    @charliecoxyy8447 2 года назад +53

    You sir are the goat; you’ve helped more people than you can imagine. Hero x

  • @tylerreynolds8832
    @tylerreynolds8832 2 года назад

    This video is the best compilation of information I’ve seen in years. Thanks, Mark!

  • @CarpeDiemSachiko888
    @CarpeDiemSachiko888 11 месяцев назад +1

    Your videos made my day... Thank you, Sir Mark... More POWER to you!!!

  • @valentinds
    @valentinds 2 года назад +39

    Take your path seriously by having a sense of humor
    Working on your weekness by loving and accepting yourself
    You are perfect if you have flaws
    Help others by helping yourself
    Take actions going with the flow
    Being in the moment is part of focusing on your goals

    • @mikehappy7719
      @mikehappy7719 Год назад +3

      Humor had been said to be the elixir of God. Giraffes are evidence of that.

  • @biembagodwin8352
    @biembagodwin8352 2 года назад +19

    Man I love your stuff. It's calming and elevating to the soul to find something on the internet that's not about hate but something to make us better as individuals. Keep doing it, you are touching lives out there.

  • @bin4ry_d3struct0r
    @bin4ry_d3struct0r Год назад

    "Be happy alone!" -- Best advice ever!!

  • @pharmclare
    @pharmclare Год назад +1

    The paradox about love, happy relationship, choice and knowledge struck me the most. Interesting insights. Welldone

  • @raymondtendau2749
    @raymondtendau2749 2 года назад +15

    Truth is absolute.Reality keeps changing.
    ‐Sadhguru

  • @DURRAKUKSI
    @DURRAKUKSI 2 года назад +33

    “As our hate (diss like) for humans grows, so does our love for humanity “
    -Dostoyevsky

  • @mikeg3950
    @mikeg3950 Год назад +3

    Great video. The one about being vulnerable is so true. Be humble, be self deprecating, it’s so endearing.

  • @millionairemovement9036
    @millionairemovement9036 Год назад +4

    "The Most Important Events In our lives tend to have the most crucial effect on our identity!" Well said...🙌

  • @wtfKwaku
    @wtfKwaku 2 года назад +18

    One of my favorites is the Pareto Principle or the 80/20 rule which is
    *_"80% of the result comes from 20% of the effort and 20% of the effort accounts for 80% of the result."_*

    • @mjcortez2460
      @mjcortez2460 2 года назад

      I had second thoughts if it is a paradox then later realized that it is indeed a paradox.

    • @natenick2
      @natenick2 2 года назад

      Good one! Very true

    • @benicia3494
      @benicia3494 2 года назад

      Yass! I was going to say the exact same thing!

    • @dorysmith2776
      @dorysmith2776 2 года назад

      I always heard it as 20% of the people do 80% of the work, and 89% of the people do 20% of the work.

    • @erinnelson434
      @erinnelson434 2 года назад

      @@mjcortez2460 No, it isn't a paradox. It is just 2 ways of saying the same thing. Example: 4 + 6 = 10 or 6 + 4 = 10. But he didn't say it was a paradox, just the Pareto principle.

  • @michaelchildish
    @michaelchildish 2 года назад +36

    The more you chase improvement, the more you feel like something is wrong with you, and some amount of that is ok, it's growth. But to OBSESS is to do yourself harm, in the name of self-improvement.

    • @ASHWYN
      @ASHWYN 2 года назад +3

      great comment, self-improvement is great but you also gotta experience life and stop obsessing about this shit. This generation is quite self-absorbed as a result :/

    • @michaelchildish
      @michaelchildish 2 года назад

      @@ASHWYN Mark's Book The Subtle Art is great, I've read it a few times and I'm reading it again, cos I need a refresher!

  • @jt7129
    @jt7129 Год назад +15

    The more you fight against something, the more it shows up into your experience.

  • @harbanslal976
    @harbanslal976 2 месяца назад +1

    The more you start using your time and value it, the more it feels less and running ahead of you
    I did feel it, this year when I got into multiple hobbies
    Now when I talk to some of my friends who scroll or something, they make me feel like damnn I could've done that work in the time they've wasted
    It's not like I feel superior to them, it's just how I see things now

  • @mostafathunder4921
    @mostafathunder4921 2 года назад +29

    My man about to crack the code of success on RUclips with his awesome content, exactly the way he did it with his books.

  • @joyceperdon
    @joyceperdon 2 года назад +12

    "Creativity is a crashing chore and a wonderful privilege." Elizabeth Gilbert

  • @janaki6233
    @janaki6233 Год назад +1

    Always feel so much better after listening to you. Listen to you every day.

  • @itsoktonotbeokay
    @itsoktonotbeokay 2 года назад

    Glad this got recommended. I've been learning more about myself and growing as a person. This helped me get my thoughts in order.

  • @dazer0866
    @dazer0866 2 года назад +40

    "The more you feel like you can't get something, the more you will be wanting to get it"

    • @themacocko6311
      @themacocko6311 2 года назад +4

      Actually, it's the other way around. The more you want something, the less you feel able/worthy to attain it.
      Understanding this is the difference between maturity and being in High school.

    • @privatepublic
      @privatepublic 2 года назад +1

      @@themacocko6311 both are accurate tbh, the first in the case of girls mostly and the second in the case of boys mostly

    • @JaysonT1
      @JaysonT1 2 года назад +1

      @@privatepublic I think you missed the point. Wanting something more because you can't have it is not a paradox of life, it's an immaturity that's outgrown.

  • @thoughtscollided
    @thoughtscollided 2 года назад +9

    Oh man, it's so relatable. All we ever really want is to 'get something' from a person. Whether that's a good thing or a bad thing, it seems to be true. Some people want to get your attention, others want an opportunity to grow. Some might want to use you, others may want to help you. It's true, a lot of people want validation but also that people are afraid to be vulnerable, particularly those who are people pleasing. We all want to be well thought of and only being agreeable will only get you so far!

  • @callen8908
    @callen8908 10 месяцев назад

    Always appreciate your productions. Really thoughtful, practical perspectives

  • @lindaghezzi9890
    @lindaghezzi9890 2 года назад +3

    The less afraid you are of death, the less afraid you are to live.
    This is going to be my new mantra, 💪🏼 such an empowering paradox.

  • @kemsolid
    @kemsolid 2 года назад +14

    It's amazing how we've been conditioned to believe comfortable lies when it's the uncomfortable truths that really helps us in life.

  • @alexmconie3012
    @alexmconie3012 Год назад +1

    I really dig the way you deliver information man. 🙏🏻

  • @ralphricart3177
    @ralphricart3177 Год назад

    This channel is a goldmine for my classes.

  • @mrcuttime22
    @mrcuttime22 2 года назад +43

    Hey Thanks for doing this Mark! I've been studying paradox (amateur) ever since grad school when a GF quoted me, "You are totally UNIQUE... just like everyone else." Living with ambiguity explains why nothing will ever work perfectly, and we'll be more satisfied by lowering our own expectations. If you can spread your advise far and wide, hopefully you will reduce grievance in the world.

    • @erinnelson434
      @erinnelson434 2 года назад +9

      That reminds me of a phrase I like to say sometimes.....
      Everyone is different. Especially me.
      - Erin Nelson

  • @tdrexplorer
    @tdrexplorer 2 года назад +9

    Mark, all the things I needed to hear today. Thank you for being you.

  • @jebjim9391
    @jebjim9391 2 года назад

    This video just got on my "watch multiple times" list.
    love it !!

  • @katiaantonova6949
    @katiaantonova6949 Год назад +1

    Mark, I just needed to pause this video to say that you are a genius, and that your videos are GOLD!

  • @Yeison_21.
    @Yeison_21. 2 года назад +30

    Mark me leí tu libro,actualmente estoy dando clases y salí solo para decirte que te amo.

    • @mikereisert2803
      @mikereisert2803 2 года назад

      Él de models?

    • @alexandermedinao.3514
      @alexandermedinao.3514 2 года назад

      es genial!

    • @victorrivera4318
      @victorrivera4318 2 года назад +1

      @@mikereisert2803 ese me estoy leyendo y está muy genial, está muy por encima de los tipicos libro sobre cómo seducir mujeres

    • @Yeison_21.
      @Yeison_21. 2 года назад +4

      Joder mark manson me dió un corazón alfin algo que presumir cuando sea abuelo

  • @blaqwize1103
    @blaqwize1103 2 года назад +10

    Thanks for the vid! I enjoyed it.
    3. I think the most important things are the things we haven’t done for a long time because we fear them and consequently, they become important, or a better word urgent
    4. Knowledge circle: well, what if I told you nothing is known. The word “know” sounds a lot like “no,” meaning absence/void. Speed of light and gravity are not constant, but we pretend they are so that all our other theories make sense. Socrates: I know that I know; no thing. It means, be the observer. Ties in with 14) and 15)
    16. more you try to do right, you do wrong. It’s Tao, if you say something is good, you create bad. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. If you abandon this path, you end up becoming one of these so called narcissists, or sociopaths. The true definition of narcissist: is someone who thinks only of themselves. If you think you don’t care for yourself and that you mostly care for others, you are in denial. You see, caring for others is an urge within, that makes us feel good about ourselves. We do it so we can maintain self respect, or societal respect. It’s still selfish… but not many people want to hear that. Which brings me to
    17. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Even Buddha said, life is suffering, and I think he believed in eternal life… which can only make this place: hell. Which makes you and I, demons. It could be heaven, but it does require a shit tonne of sugar coating and some repressed thoughts.

  • @Hummingbird25
    @Hummingbird25 11 месяцев назад

    This is golden. Thanks so much. ❤

  • @benmiller7926
    @benmiller7926 2 года назад +2

    Thanks for another brilliant video mark. Really helpful advice I wish my dad told me growing up.

  • @DomanskiMichal
    @DomanskiMichal 2 года назад +4

    I love paradoxes and talk about them with others, although I often forget about them in my real life and I have painfully remade many of them..
    Thank you for the great video where you briefly told about a lot of them👍

  • @noxigniter
    @noxigniter 2 года назад +13

    Danning Krueger effect also, somewhat paradoxically, has a flipside. Both incompetent surety and professional doubt comes when we are talking about easy to medium tasks. The moment we give people task that is actually difficult and feel difficult situation reverse - newbies start giving a task proper credit and professionals start to underestimate it. So don't be afraid to give word to people that are new to something and try to overcome anxiety of saying stupid things when you are new.

  • @dalelerette206
    @dalelerette206 Год назад +1

    Thank you for posting these sayings. Very fascinating and insightful. A few of them I recall hearing from C.G Yung. Also G.K. Chesterton seemed to be a master of paradox, even making some insightful predictions nearly 80 years ahead of time. Thank you.

  • @linziwade2529
    @linziwade2529 2 года назад

    First video I’ve seen of yours and I am very impressed. So many truths in this video!!

  • @reginabegone
    @reginabegone 2 года назад +5

    I needed this. Thank you! 🖤

  • @thebuffgeek8523
    @thebuffgeek8523 2 года назад +6

    Great content as always Mark! Love your work!

  • @fatemehranjbar6610
    @fatemehranjbar6610 Месяц назад

    I am new listening to your videos. I like them so much while I never like using the f word by my children or anyone else, but the content of your videos is amazing. Thank you for your time to create these helpful tips. I am still learning the life points from you.

  • @TimeGodMedia
    @TimeGodMedia Год назад +1

    Hey man, i love how real you keep it & how absolutely bold you are. You got my sub. Thank you for reinforcing what i already know & teaching me new things as well. I'm headed to LA to become a working music producer soon and I need all the help i can get.

  • @Andrew-yn2mu
    @Andrew-yn2mu 2 года назад +4

    The best thing i did in my life is i subscribed to ur channel man

  • @stanleymakafui
    @stanleymakafui 2 года назад +45

    Paradox of Value: Water is more valuable than Diamond but diamond commands a higher price than water.

    • @arunlsk2271
      @arunlsk2271 2 года назад +4

      I think that's supply and demand

    • @marialagattuta5438
      @marialagattuta5438 2 года назад +2

      This is the most underrated comment 🥺😭

    • @stanleymakafui
      @stanleymakafui 2 года назад +2

      @@marialagattuta5438 😊😊 I'm delighted you feel and think so. Lot's of love from this side😊

    • @skaruts
      @skaruts 2 года назад

      Those are two different kinds of value, though.

  • @dianemaines4777
    @dianemaines4777 8 месяцев назад

    Always enjoy your talks

  • @TheBigFella
    @TheBigFella Год назад

    Really enjoy your books and video channel - thank you for taking the time to do it. Super refreshing and irreverent!

  • @melissahoffman9433
    @melissahoffman9433 2 года назад +3

    Breakfast is ready…. Food for thought to get us through the day. Thank you Mark! 🙏🏼❤️💪🏼

  • @louiefrialde8689
    @louiefrialde8689 2 года назад +5

    " The More you Look for something, The Less likely You Won't Find It. You will Find it when you are not anymore looking for it"
    "He who saves his Life will Loose It and He who loose his Life for Others bec. of Me, Will Have it"

  • @karolinazwolinska4015
    @karolinazwolinska4015 11 месяцев назад

    Thanks for sharing this. Your conclusion are super inspiring.

  • @amandabetts3113
    @amandabetts3113 4 месяца назад

    Omgee I totes lol’d over the wooo…wooo…wooo! Fuck I love you Manson! Thanks for your awesome, straight up, blunt but transparent mahi (work). So, so appreciate you. I’ve bought your books for myself, my son & others too. That’s how I say thank you so fucking much 💯🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

  • @vedantjakatdar8647
    @vedantjakatdar8647 2 года назад +4

    i just love you and your work man!!!

  • @MiketheNerdRanger
    @MiketheNerdRanger 2 года назад +5

    "Some of the most mind blowing truths in life are paradoxes."
    Y'know I was starting to realize this and then this video comes up.

  • @mah_prt
    @mah_prt Год назад

    U are one the few RUclipsrs that truly and deeply know what u'r talking about 💛🤞

  • @Triathlon.
    @Triathlon. Год назад +8

    New observed paradox for the New Year since my last one did so well: your brain can't have a positive & negative thought at the same time! This is why gratitude is such a daily powerful tool.

  • @salmanchandio
    @salmanchandio 2 года назад +3

    Thank you so much Mark for uploading such content. It really helps me a lot. And please keep uploading. Otherwise it would be 'The more you want Mark Manson to upload the video the less likely he will upload them' paradox.

  • @TheEsteban1979
    @TheEsteban1979 2 года назад +4

    Big fan of you Mark!! I bought your books and I recommend you to my friends and other people

  • @antoniamiquel
    @antoniamiquel 2 года назад

    I like you. This is the only kind of something like "self help" that actually sticks in my brain. It would be so cool to talk and have a beer with you ✌🏼looking forward to reading your books

  • @redrosewarrior2806
    @redrosewarrior2806 Год назад

    I liked this guy's sense of humor. Made me laugh several times & that's not easy for me to do right now. Thanx 💚💙💜

  • @scotchandsquats
    @scotchandsquats 2 года назад +4

    You forgot the Rick Astley paradox: If you ask Rick Astley for a DVD of the movie “Up”, he will not give it to you because he is Never Gonna Give You Up. However by not giving you Up, even though you asked for it, he is letting you down. The Astley Paradox.

  • @bridaw8557
    @bridaw8557 Год назад +5

    This applies to lots of relationships, esp. parents of adult children or anxiously attached: The more separateness you allow the more closeness you invite. Kind of like the one about not forcing people to be something or give you something you need too much. Giving it to yourself first makes letting go of outcome less scary.

  • @Butterfly_Girl_3
    @Butterfly_Girl_3 Год назад

    You are awesome. Love your whole vibe.

  • @novaste1238
    @novaste1238 3 месяца назад

    Brilliant video. Thank you

  • @yellow.2504
    @yellow.2504 2 года назад +3

    Finally! You uploaded another video ❤️❤️