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  • Опубликовано: 23 май 2018
  • This one is a bit long and a bit of a mess.
  • ИгрыИгры

Комментарии • 2,2 тыс.

  • @firebeardnc6012
    @firebeardnc6012 6 лет назад +25140

    When the Imperial Guard has severe multiple personality disorder but all the personalities are Imperial Guard.

    • @gabrielferrazmilet9105
      @gabrielferrazmilet9105 6 лет назад +89

      SweetDick Willie kkkkkkkkkkkkk

    • @MarianMetanoia
      @MarianMetanoia 5 лет назад +295

      Best comment

    • @bc3f4a
      @bc3f4a 5 лет назад +22

      😂

    • @yuisaint6808
      @yuisaint6808 5 лет назад +13

      a shudsahfusdhfusdghdfuhgudfhg omfg this is too much

    • @thelasttaarakian
      @thelasttaarakian 5 лет назад +107

      Fry “let me guess he thinks he’s Lincoln.”
      Robot “well yeah he’s supposed to, problem is he’s got multiple personality disorder... all of them Lincoln”

  • @sikorahkent6815
    @sikorahkent6815 4 года назад +21244

    *kills a man*
    " How are you?"
    " Not bad."

    • @Komotau4691
      @Komotau4691 4 года назад +266

      Ted Bundy in nutshell :D

    • @weplayshit1849
      @weplayshit1849 4 года назад +26

      I ruined ur perfect 505th like streak

    • @kaede_24
      @kaede_24 4 года назад +110

      a real psychopath for sure

    • @SJ9001
      @SJ9001 4 года назад +77

      "They say that when you murder somebody the Dark Brotherhood comes to you in your sleep."

    • @_MaZTeR_
      @_MaZTeR_ 4 года назад +40

      I've been better

  • @janusrupnik
    @janusrupnik 4 года назад +11952

    "Do your worst!"
    steals again

    • @dolfyhilter577
      @dolfyhilter577 4 года назад +350

      "How dare you?!"

    • @Q8Duelist
      @Q8Duelist 4 года назад +19

      Lol

    • @moedeluca4715
      @moedeluca4715 4 года назад +45

      Me : uh what are you doing
      Guard im attacking you
      Me: your attacking a table

    • @asoru5573
      @asoru5573 4 года назад +8

      @@moedeluca4715 XD every NPC ever

    • @Nico-lb6op
      @Nico-lb6op 4 года назад +25

      Guard: STAY WHAKDNDKBSUABSKSBXJDKSMSJXNZLDKSNDYSKSLDKDJjsjdj PAY THE FINE!!

  • @glennyeah
    @glennyeah 4 года назад +5164

    "I've fPaythefine!ought mudcrabs moreStop! fearsome than yoPaythefine!"
    -imperial guard

    • @naiyakin
      @naiyakin 3 года назад +124

      I can’t stop laughing

    • @adamlabby
      @adamlabby 3 года назад +190

      This might be the only time quoting the video in the comments is actually worth doing.

    • @AbsoluteAbsurd
      @AbsoluteAbsurd 3 года назад +6

      XD

    • @AbsoluteAbsurd
      @AbsoluteAbsurd 3 года назад +8

      I love you

    • @Jo-jn3dc
      @Jo-jn3dc 3 года назад +36

      Ngl I heard “I fuck mudcrabs more fiercer than you”

  • @nxt.
    @nxt. 6 лет назад +16293

    "How are you?"
    "Not bad."

    • @KnewOnee
      @KnewOnee 6 лет назад +500

      David Prochazka i've been better

    • @MilekEagle
      @MilekEagle 6 лет назад +380

      KnewOne i hope things get better

    • @KnewOnee
      @KnewOnee 6 лет назад +285

      Milek bye

    • @szykowny6017
      @szykowny6017 6 лет назад +237

      KnewOne Goodbye

    • @MilekEagle
      @MilekEagle 6 лет назад +188

      Szymon Kisielewski it's you, hi.

  • @Miimu5210
    @Miimu5210 6 лет назад +12466

    He embodies the spirits of 10 whole guards that each take turn yelling threats.

    • @adoschtinad
      @adoschtinad 6 лет назад +350

      Hate to be that guy but he is in the barracks area which means there are probably guards in the quarters behind the doors yelling these things in their sleep

    • @jonht87
      @jonht87 6 лет назад +84

      That guard was there because that is his skooma dealer and just inhaled a fist-sized khajit blow.

    • @j5892000
      @j5892000 6 лет назад +41

      Miltipersonality syndrom guard

    • @Noone-rc9wf
      @Noone-rc9wf 6 лет назад +59

      WOW just because hes a khajiit right? You fucking Nord racist thats what happens when you let all these goddamn barbaric Nords into Cyrodil they do racist shit like this! Fuck all Nords!
      _-George Washington 1789_

    • @EnchantedSmellyWolf
      @EnchantedSmellyWolf 5 лет назад +24

      They probably talk while they are lying down in bed.

  • @toncilucic7219
    @toncilucic7219 5 лет назад +6386

    I love how he steals even more to piss off the guard

  • @Mista_Cassla
    @Mista_Cassla 2 года назад +1523

    The end after he kills him "how are you?" that part killed me

  • @Rverma30
    @Rverma30 6 лет назад +8384

    The best part is when he steals something again and the guard gets even more pissed off

  • @kotaro1483
    @kotaro1483 6 лет назад +10961

    1 gold bounty? "THEN PAY WITH YOUR BLOOD!"

    • @Coribec
      @Coribec 6 лет назад +374

      All the blood

    • @KalavinkaK
      @KalavinkaK 6 лет назад +698

      I feel like the guard should've given the player a paper cut and said "TRANSACTION COMPLETE"

    • @TexasViking_INFP-t_5w4
      @TexasViking_INFP-t_5w4 6 лет назад +21

      Ikr lmao

    • @zaned.5036
      @zaned.5036 5 лет назад +16

      PAY THE FINE!

    • @awthorne9877
      @awthorne9877 5 лет назад +48

      In Oblivion a bottle of human blood has no value, you can sell it for 0 Septims, so plot twist: The guards are Mitic Dawn agent that just want to kill you so you can't save Martin.
      Or maybe the guards are "badly programmed", who knows

  • @bragiodinsen4604
    @bragiodinsen4604 3 года назад +644

    That Khajit is like that kid at school that convinces you to join him in something bad and immediately calls the teacher on you.

  • @lordofthecookie8555
    @lordofthecookie8555 3 года назад +266

    Dude, those Oblivion guards are f*cking savage, those insults, that fierce anger in his voice. Skyrim guard are nowhere close to these guys.

    • @prayoga4419
      @prayoga4419 2 года назад +47

      Oblivion taunt: "This is the part where you fall down and BLEED TO DEATH"
      Skyrim taunt: "Son of a..."

    • @impcityangel3245
      @impcityangel3245 2 года назад +14

      "You have committed crimes against Skyrim and her people. What say you in your defense?"

  • @toobig7399
    @toobig7399 6 лет назад +20746

    Im pretty sure that khajit was seriously worried about the guard's mental condition at the end.

    • @blazelega2985
      @blazelega2985 6 лет назад +1506

      "How are you?"

    • @Theiwav
      @Theiwav 6 лет назад +1361

      “Not bad”

    • @Tommy50377
      @Tommy50377 6 лет назад +347

      too big What is your profile pic? I need it for science. Don't ask what I'm testing.

    • @MisterInsomaniac
      @MisterInsomaniac 6 лет назад +147

      HAHAHAHAH and that guard was like ""not bad"

    • @Bigassboya
      @Bigassboya 6 лет назад +108

      Slagged Eagle
      I've been better

  • @maxupsher6865
    @maxupsher6865 6 лет назад +9742

    *killed a guy in daedric armor just because he didn't want to pay 1 coin*
    -How are you?
    -Not bad :)

    • @D3adm3n
      @D3adm3n 5 лет назад +103

      Oh-hi Mark

    • @keiztrat9109
      @keiztrat9109 5 лет назад +26

      Deadmanstands Hey Billy

    • @theonionsystem7779
      @theonionsystem7779 5 лет назад +13

      @@keiztrat9109 that hurt

    • @keiztrat9109
      @keiztrat9109 5 лет назад +1

      Deceased Ah, don’t move a muscle

    • @aa-dj3jt
      @aa-dj3jt 5 лет назад +4

      It was bound armour, not daedric.

  • @WillowTitov
    @WillowTitov 4 года назад +1497

    "It just works." -Hodd Toward

    • @kayhoww
      @kayhoww 3 года назад +16

      Surprised this isn’t top comment lol

    • @ahypernova
      @ahypernova 3 года назад +9

      Toward what ?

    • @martinseptim1833
      @martinseptim1833 2 года назад +32

      @@ahypernova Toward Deez Nutz

    • @vodenimeded
      @vodenimeded 2 года назад +8

      @@martinseptim1833 Martin? I thought you sacrificed your self to save the Imperial City and quite possibly the entire continent of Tamriel.

    • @ahypernova
      @ahypernova 2 года назад +3

      @@martinseptim1833 Touche.

  • @devonpresents8861
    @devonpresents8861 4 года назад +2795

    0:14 Guard Rage: 10%
    0:27 Guard Rage: 35%
    0:35 Guard Rage: 48%
    0:42 Guard Rage: 65%
    0:53 Guard Rage: 82%
    1:08 Guard Rage: 99%
    1:32 Guard Rage: 0%

  • @Kinoksis
    @Kinoksis 6 лет назад +5664

    * Calmly sits on bench *
    " *YOU ELVES ARE ALL THE SAME. ALL FLESH AND NO FURY!* "

  • @MisterDutch93
    @MisterDutch93 6 лет назад +9666

    I'm surprised that nobody in the comments section mentioned the explosion of plates and cutlery that happened when our dear Kahjiit was sitting at the table. Stuff like that always gets me.

    • @RyeBread333
      @RyeBread333 6 лет назад +202

      MisterDutch93 I WAS LOOKING FOR A COMMENT THAT MENTIONED IT! XD

    • @jameswilkes451
      @jameswilkes451 6 лет назад +266

      I used to just find running around castle dining halls and kicking food and cutlery ALL over the place in explosive spasms of force an absolute hoot

    • @uncorruptedninja2280
      @uncorruptedninja2280 6 лет назад +34

      93 people were looking for someone to comment about that

    • @kaylobrok3272
      @kaylobrok3272 5 лет назад +107

      Shit like that happened to me in Skyrim, i used to sit in chairs in some Inns and shit blowed or sometimes i entered the inns and everything were flying

    • @ConsumeristScroffa
      @ConsumeristScroffa 5 лет назад +17

      That's the only thing that I found funny. And the dialogue at the end of course, but not that much as that scene. lol

  • @Comkill117
    @Comkill117 2 года назад +167

    The voice acting in this game is incredible. This man really just said:
    - “You should have paid the fine!”
    - “You elves are all the same, all flesh, no fury!”
    - “DIE!”
    - “This is the part where you fall down and bleed to death!”
    - “I’ve fought Mudcrabs more fearsome than you!”
    All at once. That takes some skill.

    • @r.r.r.r.r.r.r.
      @r.r.r.r.r.r.r. 11 месяцев назад +2

      all flash* and no fury. just another way of saying all bark and no bite.

    • @Comkill117
      @Comkill117 11 месяцев назад +1

      @@r.r.r.r.r.r.r.right my mistake.

  • @rishab0B
    @rishab0B 3 года назад +189

    His choice menu tells you that the only option he has always selected is "resist arrest"

  • @SchnellShart
    @SchnellShart 6 лет назад +5838

    An actual presentation of me fighting with a bug in my room

  • @kride500
    @kride500 6 лет назад +3040

    I got arrested for stealing a flower. I love oblivion.

    • @GoUtes92
      @GoUtes92 6 лет назад +138

      In Syrim I got a bounty because I zapped a chicken with a lightning spell. Didn't realize that was illegal at the time.

    • @GoUtes92
      @GoUtes92 5 лет назад +44

      Sure. Of course technically I didn’t steal it. I fried it up pretty good though. It would have made a tasty meal.

    • @crystalcritique
      @crystalcritique 4 года назад +29

      That lost oxygen could cost someone their LIFE down the line!

    • @johnshepard3197
      @johnshepard3197 4 года назад +20

      You're lucky, I got killed for it!

    • @mogalisious
      @mogalisious 4 года назад +1

      @@Arvel_The_Swit ikr

  • @paradoxpizza
    @paradoxpizza 3 года назад +83

    The Khajiit really asked the guard “how are you?” Because he genuinely concerned with the guard’s mental health.

  • @augusto3447
    @augusto3447 4 года назад +115

    I love how the guard just materializes in front of the door and sprints towards the player character immediately after he touches the beer bottle

    • @hobomike6935
      @hobomike6935 2 года назад +22

      *sniff sniff* "I SENSE A DISTURBANCE INJUSTICE.." *immediately teleports to the scene of the crime*
      *_"STOP! YOU VIOLATED THE LAW."_*

    • @keepitsecret-dl1pr
      @keepitsecret-dl1pr 7 месяцев назад

      yes, truly, the immersion of Oblivion is unrivaled

  • @eoinflaherty9374
    @eoinflaherty9374 6 лет назад +1875

    *Sits down* 'What's the matter? Getting tired?!'

    • @abad-enoughdude._.3919
      @abad-enoughdude._.3919 6 лет назад +100

      Cheese Token hahah. This game has such a magical way of being self-aware.

    • @ryarod
      @ryarod 5 лет назад +34

      He had perfect timing- and unlike most things this channel points out, it _makes sense_ in the moment in context.
      I for one would love for that, or something like it, to be deliberately incorporated into future open-world role-playing games.
      It'd be a subtle touch, sure, but it would help to make it immersive.

    • @PsychoCrow
      @PsychoCrow 4 года назад +1

      @@ryarod Wait for Cyberpunk2077.

  • @connorlucichofficial1351
    @connorlucichofficial1351 5 лет назад +3017

    Khajits are usually sneaky and stealthy. First 5 seconds in, a Khajit sits down and 4 loaves of bread fly halfway across the room

    • @TenshiCat
      @TenshiCat 5 лет назад +411

      Cats may be sneaky and stealthy, but they also can't resist knocking things off tables

    • @GrayFox790
      @GrayFox790 3 года назад +12

      🤣🤣🤣

    • @MangleFoxy
      @MangleFoxy 3 года назад +5

      @@TenshiCat XD

  • @wahidtrynaheghugh260
    @wahidtrynaheghugh260 4 года назад +144

    “Stay away”
    “HURLURLUR”

  • @ThrowAway-gu2lw
    @ThrowAway-gu2lw 2 года назад +13

    I love how the khajiit is watching the mace swinging around like an actual cat

  • @Bloodletter8
    @Bloodletter8 6 лет назад +2046

    Khajit sits down to eat.
    *KICKS THE FOOD ALL OVER THE ROOM*

    • @misterbadguy7325
      @misterbadguy7325 4 года назад +140

      Well, they are cats.

    • @Yu_K_wtf
      @Yu_K_wtf 4 года назад +48

      reminds me of my cat. when he's done eating, his food is all over the kitchen. also, on the walls.

    • @supamanlova9250
      @supamanlova9250 4 года назад +10

      y e e t

    • @Xerdar36
      @Xerdar36 4 года назад +18

      Sounds like a legitimate cat to me....

    • @sythesz
      @sythesz 4 года назад +12

      such is the way of the khajiit. from a young age we learn to furiously throw our food.

  • @TheoneandonlyGTA
    @TheoneandonlyGTA 6 лет назад +1807

    1:13 that "getting tired?" was perfect

    • @sakesaurus
      @sakesaurus 6 лет назад +19

      elf be like "well I didn't want to sit anyway, screw you"

    • @madeiraislander
      @madeiraislander 5 лет назад +6

      AAHHH!!! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME DOWN!

    • @kimkai9005
      @kimkai9005 5 лет назад +3

      *OOF!*

  • @ChaoticKale66
    @ChaoticKale66 4 года назад +61

    0:36 when he shifts the camera up to where the audio is coming from and it's coming from the ceiling but the guard is right in front him 😅 his subtleness got me haha

  • @pato6738
    @pato6738 3 года назад +29

    Love how the other guy ask him "how are you?" after the deed to check on the guard´s feelings and support him

  • @wyntertheicewyvern6226
    @wyntertheicewyvern6226 6 лет назад +4247

    This week on Guards of Oblivion.

  • @peterwilson5307
    @peterwilson5307 5 лет назад +1765

    "How are you?"
    "Not bad..."
    *They ask you how you are and you're fine but you're not really fine*

    • @georgerockwell149
      @georgerockwell149 4 года назад +51

      You’re not fine because the guy you just killed refused to pay the fine.

    • @lancehandy6648
      @lancehandy6648 3 года назад +1

      Katy perry meme lmao

    • @cr4yv3n
      @cr4yv3n 3 года назад +2

      Psychological assistance

    • @Fredjo
      @Fredjo 3 года назад

      @@georgerockwell149 :DD

    • @Comkill117
      @Comkill117 3 года назад +4

      “SHOULD HAVE PAYED THE FINE!”

  • @MikeNoob101
    @MikeNoob101 3 года назад +210

    Jaguar: Stop Thief!
    Literally 2 minutes later
    Jaguar: Your money or your life

    • @Howlingburd19
      @Howlingburd19 3 года назад +34

      “You’re smarter than you look.”

    • @queencat2096
      @queencat2096 3 года назад +28

      @@Howlingburd19 “Take it, it’s useless to me anyway.”

    • @evabracken8030
      @evabracken8030 3 года назад +15

      @@queencat2096 *looks back, wondering if he made the right choice*

    • @nowasfalsebanned2769
      @nowasfalsebanned2769 3 года назад +7

      Jaguar?!?!

    • @sigmarkrieger6958
      @sigmarkrieger6958 3 года назад +5

      @@nowasfalsebanned2769 khajiit

  • @jamesasher63
    @jamesasher63 Год назад +8

    I love how his *GETTING TIRED?!* is synced with you sitting down and how he screams *HAHA* and then finally hits you like he's finally figured out that going round the table is the secret to victory

  • @MrLores111
    @MrLores111 6 лет назад +1495

    *Sits down*
    What's the matter? GETTING TIRED?

  • @SeeASquaRE
    @SeeASquaRE 5 лет назад +1588

    I love how the guard just comes running at the speed of light when he hears someone yell "thief". Oblivion guards the true heroes we need.

    • @marcxworld5708
      @marcxworld5708 3 года назад +90

      For real though, it looked like the guard just manifested into reality

    • @billyhenerson2871
      @billyhenerson2871 3 года назад +58

      Yeah, but they also have a hard time understanding physics and take forever to go around a table

    • @musicsheep9816
      @musicsheep9816 9 месяцев назад +11

      Until they accidentally hit a civilian, and then the civilian hits back, causing the entire town the rupture into a massive brawl with the entire town murdered by guards

    • @The_Lucent_Archangel
      @The_Lucent_Archangel 9 месяцев назад +3

      @@musicsheep9816 We used to abuse the same logic in GTA Online by getting 4-5 star wanted level and leading the cops toward other players. It was usually guaranteed that either they'd side-swipe a cop car or vice versa and suddenly get 2 stars with 5 stars' worth of police attacking them.

  • @thatweirdgirl2703
    @thatweirdgirl2703 4 года назад +39

    Palpatine: I am all the Sith
    Rey: I am all the Jedi
    Imperial Guard: I am all the Legion!

  • @lurrinen
    @lurrinen 4 года назад +61

    *Flails mace 1 inch from face*
    "Stay away!"
    How about you step away, Khajiit?

  • @kadesjunkdrawer2233
    @kadesjunkdrawer2233 6 лет назад +2493

    How are you
    N O T B A D

  • @Knorkrax
    @Knorkrax 6 лет назад +2624

    He's the most feared among all guards.

    • @TheBrandonGame
      @TheBrandonGame 6 лет назад +1

      Knorkrax stop following me

    • @aapeli4824
      @aapeli4824 6 лет назад +7

      The guards fear him.

    • @dylanreed2951
      @dylanreed2951 6 лет назад +8

      thats the HE they talked about in the skyrim theme

    • @merr8471
      @merr8471 5 лет назад +4

      "He's the most feared among all guards"
      *666 likes*
      Uhh..o.o

    • @Xylluk
      @Xylluk 5 лет назад +6

      In their tongue, he's "Faas Dein":
      Fearsome Guard!
      "HURRRRRR HRRRRRRRURRRRRR!"

  • @icedtease1973
    @icedtease1973 3 года назад +52

    The guard looks like he's been waiting in the shadows for hours, just waiting for someone to steal something. He fell asleep before he saw the Khajit steal something, but woke up when he heard "Stop! Thief!"
    Also, I'm pretty sure there were other guards in a seperate room that were yelling at him too. I doubt that one guard could be emitting that much dialogue at once.

  • @trinitrojack
    @trinitrojack 4 года назад +20

    0:17 Look at the bags around this guys eyes.
    Here is a guard that never blinks; never winks at injustice.

  • @turnburn26
    @turnburn26 6 лет назад +1255

    Khajiit steals: "Take it. It's worthless to me anyway."
    Altmer steals: *YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS*

  • @jesspontbriand7228
    @jesspontbriand7228 6 лет назад +2187

    HURRRBLERLLLGBRBEBR
    The most fearsome war cry throughout the ages, all tremble when this mighty cry falls upon their ears

    • @Her_Imperious_Condescension
      @Her_Imperious_Condescension 4 года назад +7

      He is fearsome among murlocs.

    • @RacmusDK
      @RacmusDK 4 года назад +8

      haHAAAH!

    • @Laughingcoyote1213
      @Laughingcoyote1213 3 года назад +7

      🤣Ever since i played this game as a teen, that one war cry has stuck with me all these years

    • @cireez
      @cireez 3 года назад +6

      1:16 ?

    • @destubae3271
      @destubae3271 3 года назад

      @@Laughingcoyote1213 That and the dumb HAHAH!

  • @shaddysnot9901
    @shaddysnot9901 5 лет назад +33

    I love the way the guard just walks out of the shadows like he has been there the hole time waiting for you to steal something.

  • @quickrundown3859
    @quickrundown3859 3 года назад +23

    I love how the guard is more upset about the theft than the Khajiit owner.

  • @Ojo10
    @Ojo10 6 лет назад +3056

    This game has aged *BEAUTIFULLY*

    • @Psyfonify
      @Psyfonify 6 лет назад +8

      You say?

    • @shinkiro403
      @shinkiro403 6 лет назад +94

      The AI sure did, just as stupidly funny as it was back then...

    • @deltaI78
      @deltaI78 6 лет назад +69

      I've heard others say the same.

    • @whennever8202
      @whennever8202 6 лет назад +50

      Heard any news from the other provinces?

    • @Sheikah92
      @Sheikah92 6 лет назад +49

      Nothing I'd like to talk about.

  • @velileon101
    @velileon101 5 лет назад +2119

    The funniest thing about this video to me was whatever the hell happened at the beginning with the food flying

    • @CinnabarCereal
      @CinnabarCereal 4 года назад +14

      4

    • @dmitry318
      @dmitry318 3 года назад +53

      don't you care that khajit stole something before he sit down? :D

    • @AndrewAce.
      @AndrewAce. 3 года назад +4

      Right!?

    • @ObscureStuff420
      @ObscureStuff420 3 года назад +4

      I agree!

    • @Valduria
      @Valduria 3 года назад +4

      @@dmitry318 And then Twisted Sistered the contents of the table in the air like an anarchist.

  • @gabrielboorom6196
    @gabrielboorom6196 3 года назад +12

    "You wouldn't be so brave, if you didn't have that completely stationary table to protect you!!!"

  • @own4801
    @own4801 3 года назад +29

    0:32 The thing I find crazy is that he's actually programed to repeatedly swing like 15 times before adjusting his position and running to you at a new angle. Bad or good code should still have it so he either swings forever like that, or changes position after just a few swings.

  • @StraightUpIrishJames
    @StraightUpIrishJames 6 лет назад +2192

    Man that candle really is a dirty thief.....

  • @IShallCallHimTaders
    @IShallCallHimTaders 5 лет назад +1001

    Guard upstairs yells out of sheer osmosis of a perceived theft.

    • @PhilosophyofElivagar
      @PhilosophyofElivagar 4 года назад +28

      1 year later and this is still my favourite comment

    • @user-cn8me5nh8g
      @user-cn8me5nh8g 3 года назад +6

      @@PhilosophyofElivagar Jesus, how often do you revisit this thread? Also, the comment under discussion doesn't make any sense. The guard upstairs, hearing commotion & cries of thievery below, helped raise the alarm; how is this simple, predictable act a result of "osmosis"? If you, a cop in Room A, hear a fellow officer in Room B shouting _burglar,_ & you echo him in hopes of alerting Room C, do we have "osmosis" to thank for it? Or are you just reacting on gut instinct or training?
      As a longtime educator devoted to lighting the fire of self-improvement in racially diverse students from all walk of life, I hope that 1) you'll consider reading a book or two & revisiting _them_ for enlightenment every year instead of . . . whatever this is; & 2) that you'll learn the definition, etymology, & proper usage of "osmosis." Is that really too much to ask? Your children, if you have any, will thank you for it, as will your partner; & even if you remain childless & single, at the end of the day you'll thank yourself.
      I believe I can anticipate your next question: what's in it for me? Well, to be perfectly honest, I win either way, seeing as how this thankfulness -- whether it burns in one heart or many -- is due in large part to my selflessness. This makes me feel downright heroic, & inspires me to keep fighting a good fight even when the going gets tough. So let me just say in advance, _you're welcome, my friend;_ & may you share what you've learned here today with others, thus continuing my legacy :)

    • @PhilosophyofElivagar
      @PhilosophyofElivagar 3 года назад +19

      @@user-cn8me5nh8g I revisit it enough to reply to your smart ass 3 months later - also I resent your implication that I’m uneducated, I’m graduating this year with a 1st in History and English and starting my Masters soon - I probably read more than you sleep.
      Anyways, it’s a joke lmao. Take your ‘enlightened’ ass to r/iamsmart, I’d be thankful for that

    • @Huxxerberry
      @Huxxerberry 3 года назад +10

      @@user-cn8me5nh8g
      Who the hell pissed in your cheerios?

    • @mellowmelly9258
      @mellowmelly9258 3 года назад +5

      @@user-cn8me5nh8g shut up douchebag

  • @cloudcover540
    @cloudcover540 5 лет назад +20

    "You elves are all the same, all flesh and no fury"
    *200 years later*
    "Oh..."

  • @marsstars682
    @marsstars682 3 года назад +40

    You: sitting peacefully whist the guard wildly swings his weapon at you across the table
    The guard: ha, getting tired?!

  • @themojogamer75
    @themojogamer75 6 лет назад +749

    Well. At least my light and heavy armor skills increased.

  • @LexOmega7
    @LexOmega7 6 лет назад +660

    “How are you”
    “Not bad”
    I can’t breathe

    • @Q8Duelist
      @Q8Duelist 4 года назад +6

      Lol

    • @pIayingwithmahwii
      @pIayingwithmahwii 4 года назад +4

      @@Q8Duelist lol

    • @asdaasdsa
      @asdaasdsa 4 года назад +1

      I've been better

    • @canoe6421
      @canoe6421 4 года назад

      you can otherwise you'd be dead (i know it is supposed to be a metaphor used for expressing feelings and that this comment is made for comedic purposes only but i can't stand when people say i can't breathe

    • @pIayingwithmahwii
      @pIayingwithmahwii 4 года назад +1

      @@canoe6421 Really Cliff?

  • @FleurLavie
    @FleurLavie 2 года назад +6

    0:12 I like how immediately when he picks up the thing, a guard *FLIES* Into the room

  • @derekrocco4344
    @derekrocco4344 2 года назад +2

    The way the khajit's head follows the mace back and forth reminds me so much of every cat I've ever lived with

  • @feco91
    @feco91 6 лет назад +336

    I love that outrage you can hear each time you pick something up...

  • @wieso4008
    @wieso4008 6 лет назад +846

    That poor elf was just being a nice person, picking up after the khajiit who dropped all his stuff, but casual racism turned this into another senseless death. Smh

  • @slamminx3
    @slamminx3 4 года назад +16

    These guards were always more intimidating than Skyrims guards.

  • @BlueLightningHawk
    @BlueLightningHawk Год назад +3

    NPC steals: *Guard sleeps*
    Player steals: "Stop right there criminal scum, pay with your blood, nobody steals on my watch!"

  • @timesnewlogan2032
    @timesnewlogan2032 5 лет назад +982

    "You elves are all the same!"
    "Well, you *voice actors* are all the same!"

    • @cediviannareeda4305
      @cediviannareeda4305 3 года назад +14

      WORDS HURT YOU KNOW!

    • @Morty143
      @Morty143 3 года назад +4

      I mean you are not wrong

    • @imjustacake6535
      @imjustacake6535 3 года назад +4

      Sad guard noises

    • @eggu1828
      @eggu1828 3 года назад +1

      Thank you kind sir!

    • @pumpkinhills7611
      @pumpkinhills7611 3 года назад

      Please don't make DID jokes.
      Sincerely, someone who actually has the disorder.

  • @Wolfenstin1806
    @Wolfenstin1806 6 лет назад +374

    I like the "What's the matter, getting tired?!" As your character sits down.
    Yes, I am tired actually.

  • @sirromanov3038
    @sirromanov3038 4 года назад +25

    That was the jailer, too. He abandoned the jail to come and yell at you for taking a beer.

  • @FutureAbe
    @FutureAbe Год назад +2

    “You elves are all the s- Pay the fine!” Lmao

  • @imefix
    @imefix 6 лет назад +375

    "What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?"

  • @drpavel9414
    @drpavel9414 5 лет назад +154

    I'm in love with how enthusiastic all the Imperial voice actors are

  • @morgana6094
    @morgana6094 3 года назад +12

    Can we just appreciate how he tries to attack you from 5 miles away?

  • @jokelethkurueisner9229
    @jokelethkurueisner9229 3 года назад +5

    0:28 When there’s a fly in the eating area

  • @FlamRackett
    @FlamRackett 6 лет назад +97

    How deliciously evil to steal more stuff whilst the guard is stuck on the candle stick

  • @PaxFire
    @PaxFire 6 лет назад +294

    >Wearing full Dedric Armor
    >Your Light Armor skill increased

    • @suresren
      @suresren 5 лет назад +9

      That's cause it's bound armor.
      THAT DIRTY CHEATER!

    • @suresren
      @suresren 4 года назад +1

      @allright715 No - it's bugged bound armour:
      What you do is, damage the bound armour, repair it, drop it and wait for the timer to run out and then the bound armour stays permanently.

  • @Duskyberry
    @Duskyberry 4 года назад +18

    Kahjit: "How are you?
    Guard: "I've been better"

  • @marcuspontiuspilatus
    @marcuspontiuspilatus 4 года назад +29

    "This is the part where you fall down and bleed to death!"
    - No, thanks, my pockets aren't full yet

  • @thebrokenglasskids5196
    @thebrokenglasskids5196 5 лет назад +266

    0:05
    I'll just go ahead and have a seat here at the 'ol table......
    _entire content of tabletop explodes_

  • @dangerouslysafe3
    @dangerouslysafe3 6 лет назад +229

    *Guard kills a man*
    *the very next split second*
    Khajiit: How are you? c:
    Guard: Not bad...

    • @dodec8449
      @dodec8449 3 года назад +2

      Such a bootlicker

  • @theeguy9022
    @theeguy9022 3 года назад +10

    The part I love about the guards is how they constantly growl and laugh

  • @aviniciussouza100
    @aviniciussouza100 3 года назад +28

    0:36
    "All flesh and no fury."
    "AAARRGH!"

    • @JDT_XXIV
      @JDT_XXIV 2 года назад +1

      “YOU WON’T GET AWAY WITH THIS HURLULUL”

  • @antonironstag5085
    @antonironstag5085 5 лет назад +87

    I love how as you steal more things the guards shout even louder.

  • @Kratos94nb
    @Kratos94nb 6 лет назад +68

    Tricky Khajiit behaves as if he has always lived here. It worked well

  • @PhantoMace2012
    @PhantoMace2012 3 года назад +12

    Guard: *already triggered
    Player: *steals more
    Guard: * *T R I G G E R E D*

  • @warriorsorb1111
    @warriorsorb1111 4 года назад +10

    I love how they go all bug eye when they say "THEN PAY WITH YOUR BLOOD!"

  • @maxupsher6865
    @maxupsher6865 6 лет назад +108

    1:00 "Stay away!"

  • @ChangedMyNameFinally69
    @ChangedMyNameFinally69 3 года назад +2

    What a perfect storm of a video, from the Khajit sneaking for no reason, sending food flying, the guard being stuck in front of the table while his dialogue overlaps, and then the casual conversation at the end

  • @UnknownbronyChannel
    @UnknownbronyChannel 5 лет назад +12

    I love how the guard with all that outrage just says in end, alright that's better. XD

  • @biegodastos8190
    @biegodastos8190 6 лет назад +87

    Steals food, summons guard. Said guard gets posesed by the spirits of 100 slain guards to defeat the evil thief, thrashes about and kills the wrong person
    -How are you?
    -Not bad

    • @Lunevia
      @Lunevia 5 лет назад +5

      Wait what am I missing, how did he get the wrong guy?

    • @kensebego199
      @kensebego199 4 года назад

      @@Lunevia oblivion AI is like that lol

    • @Lunevia
      @Lunevia 4 года назад +2

      @@kensebego199 no I mean, I thought the guard killed the OP cuz the OP stole from the table, unless the other guy was actually the one who stole stuff

  • @smegmalasagna
    @smegmalasagna 6 лет назад +1748

    HRRRRR! HRRRUURRRURRR

    • @irontomato3835
      @irontomato3835 6 лет назад +39

      YOU ELVES ARE ALL THE SAME

    • @interstellergrapefruit
      @interstellergrapefruit 6 лет назад +1

      indubitably

    • @zaaya7719
      @zaaya7719 5 лет назад +6

      your username
      ...your profile pic...

    • @dronite0019
      @dronite0019 5 лет назад +7

      zaya ever read junji ito?

    • @zaaya7719
      @zaaya7719 5 лет назад

      dronite001 ahhh that's where it's from lmao ofc and nah but I've seen their work

  • @FoxheimStudios
    @FoxheimStudios Год назад +3

    This is one of the games ever.

  • @ragnarwiik2054
    @ragnarwiik2054 3 года назад +1

    The sitting down at a chair or bench near a table with clutter, followed by a clutter explotion, is a signature of bethesda games.

  • @KidAmnesiack
    @KidAmnesiack 6 лет назад +70

    "YOU ELVES ARE ALL THE SAME, ALL FLESH AND NO FURY" I have never heard this vocal line in game before until I heard it in this video and I've been playing since release.

  • @Davidpostingshid
    @Davidpostingshid 6 лет назад +359

    These uploads are always a high point in my day.

    • @Pwn3dByPhysics
      @Pwn3dByPhysics 6 лет назад +4

      Grendel’s arm then I suppose your days are generally just as boring as mine.

    • @Davidpostingshid
      @Davidpostingshid 6 лет назад +2

      Pwn3dByPhysics lol yeah

    • @Pwn3dByPhysics
      @Pwn3dByPhysics 6 лет назад +2

      Grendel’s arm any idea to make our days less boring?

    • @Sledgehammeh
      @Sledgehammeh 6 лет назад +7

      I've heard the Fighters Guild is looking for new members.

    • @Davidpostingshid
      @Davidpostingshid 6 лет назад +2

      Eagle I’ve heard others say the same

  • @linkofdoom24
    @linkofdoom24 4 года назад +28

    The oblivion guards have some way to know exactly when a crime is committed, since they enter the house as soon as one happens.

  • @greatroyalwolf
    @greatroyalwolf Год назад +1

    I like how unnecessarily violent they are
    You: _steals a fork_
    Guards: So you have chosen death

  • @patricio4641
    @patricio4641 6 лет назад +242

    *Your Light Armor skill increased*

    • @kasrkin110
      @kasrkin110 6 лет назад +19

      and life decreased.

    • @PixyEm
      @PixyEm 6 лет назад +16

      *Your Heavy Armor skill increased*

  • @KingYiren
    @KingYiren 6 лет назад +152

    What a strange series of events

  • @adtm19993
    @adtm19993 4 года назад +2

    I love how the khajit's head at 1:00 is following every swing of the guard's mace like my cat does when I swing a fluffy toy mouse round about him. Bethesda's attention to detail is remarkable.

  • @lucianosgonzalez3561
    @lucianosgonzalez3561 5 лет назад +4

    The freaking gall of this man to sit down in front of the schizophrenic guard. The bloody legend.

  • @igfados
    @igfados 6 лет назад +67

    *"THEN PAY WITH YOUR BLOOD"*
    "brain path-finding glitched"