I just dont like the word idolizing because it seems dangerous lol But yes. Focus on yourself and improving your own life! We are all just human. Nothing more or less.
literally, days ago I realized the same thing like "why do people treat another person like they're a God just because they have a following" and then mother goose posts this
It is weird that fans in a way dehumanise their idols so much so that they become nothing more than idea in their head at some point you aren’t a fan of the person but the fantasy 🙇🏾♀️
Sometimes i don't like me doing So much Fangirling!!! Not like i have so many friends to hang out with in that time still i feel like "Why wasting time watching an 29 yrs ol adult Eating snow and being cute "
I was isolated a lot as a kid so I never really understood this. Im a big feelings person and emotional intelligence is my strong suit, so that in itself kind of prevents me from separating celebrities from their humanity. But at the same time, I understand where people are coming from when they look up to someone to such a degree.
i really like how you were able to make points that didn't attack or blame people for idolizing celebrities, but rather encouraged generally healthier parasocial relationships on the internet
This is such an important topic not enough people talk about how idolizing celebrities, whether it be politicians like AOC or RUclipsrs can be so incredibly toxic for younger people. You describing it as “phases you used as crutches to get you through life” IS SO ACCURATE. It have no evidence to back this up but I genuinely think it stunts developmental growth 😳😳
I just left a similar comment about development! Idolizing celebs online during my pre-teens (in my 20s now) set up unhealthy expectations of people and relationships.
yeah, i did a video about smokey glow situation but idolizing a youtuber/celebrity is such a disservice to them. after they fuck up (even if it's minor), it's not good if they apologize, it's even worse if they don't. what do you want then? for them never to have done that in the first place? ok great sounds very realistic good luck with that 👍
sooty because these fans make liking these “influencers” part of their personality...it’s not healthy at ALL. They get so aggressive when anything even slightly negative is said about that person because they refuse to believe that the person can do any wrong, and then when an undeniable piece of proof or evidence is brought up that they cannot defend that person from, they are left with a large chunk of their personality and life missing, they probably go and adopt some other destructive trait or begin to praise and idolize another influencer and the cycle continues. It’s weird and unhealthy because it’s like they feel the need to defend these people they BARELY know, and they think I that these people are their friends irl, these are the types of people to stalk their Internet faves simply because they like them sooo much they feel entitled to know all about their personal business, it’s intrusive and weird. People have to stop thinking of them as their in real life friends because they are nottt! They are content creators and this is their job or hobby that they enjoy doing! They are humans and they do sometimes fuck up but it’s okay, we all make mistakes.
@@daisyshearing6633 there was a scandal about him being a cannibal, but his story is so much scarier than that. he sexually abused many women (most of whom are suicidal now)- check out @/houseofeffie’s highlights on instagram, she’s a survivor and has great explanations + proof
I def needed to hear this- I also have a huge problem of using media as a coping mechanism :/ usually I don't idolize people, but I throw myself into movie series or tv shows and learn as much about them as I can to distract me from my real problems instead of just ~dealing with them~ LOL
This reminds me of how people call certain celebrities/influencers "unproblematic" as if they've never done anything wrong. The idea of someone being completely unproblematic is insane and it's pointless to hold them to an impossible standard like that.
True! We have to accept the people we are fans of that we will never know the TRUE THEM bc we can’t know them or the worst thing they did online. So when they mess up we need to take a step back from how much we like them and try and see things more clearly
pebzee yep! Honestly there was this comment I saw a while ago if you got followed around all day as a celeb u probs be cancelled too not bc we are evil because lots of scandals are blown out of proportion
Yes. That's why I think those words are completely meaningless. The way the internet (13 year olds and extremely immature older people) needs everyone to be 'umproblematic' is DELUSIONAL. That's just not a real thing. And if someone is not extremely perfect according to a bunch of people who don't know them, their life is suddenly full of drama. Social media sucks
Yes omg every time I see people label creators and “unproblematic” I literally cringe (lol) because… you’ve completely set yourself up for disappointment with statements like that
I hate when people say "That *famous person* always does everything right" OMFG THEY'RE HUMANS LIKE YOU They're not better than anyone btw, thanks for the video :)
Lately I’ve really decreased my social media intake, and it’s helped so much with my obsessions. I was a stan (twitter, tumblr) throughout middle school (in college now) and feel like it’s definitely impacted how quickly I fall into parasocial relationships. The crutch situation describes what I go through perfectly. Fantastic vid, as always!!
YOU’RE 👏 FOLLOWER 👏 COUNT 👏 DOES 👏 NOT 👏 MEAN 👏 YOU’RE 👏 BETTER 👏 THAN 👏 ANYONE 👏 ELSE 👏 (Not talking abt u just people in general who need to hear this) 🥺💕🥺💕✨👑
clara camps if u are a new subscriber or u dont watch her as often it’s completely normal 😂 she had another cat called missy but he passed away a while ago after a couple of months (I think) she adopted clamentine
I feel like you could apply this to a everyone that you really like, Back when I'm a still kid, When I really like someone I see them as a perfect being and once they did something not good you feel 2nd hand embarrassment and it feel really personal to you and now you see them as just like you and feel turn off and your liking for them just went downhill from that. And now that I'm a little bit more mature I realized that it's not about them it's more about me on how I see them a perfect being even tough no one is.
So I’m currently in a graduate program to become a relational therapist. When I first started out, I idolized the giants in the field, my professors, and my supervisors because they all seemed so wise, so present, and so knowledgeable. Over time, however, I’ve realized that every one of those people is a human being who doubts themselves, has panicky moments in sessions with their clients, and tries to make themselves seem more confident than they actually are. Everyone is just trying to get by, do their best, and make it work.
I will admit that I still idolize artists especially music artists BUT I’ve learned that they are humans and are able to make mistakes just like I do so I shouldn’t expect them to be saints
i heard a quote from someone a few days ago and it was along the lines of "as soon as you take unedited footage and cut it together/edit it/manipulate it, youre telling a story." I think that's important to consider and understand when you consume content. everyone is trying to tell a story or paint a picture of themselves in their videos
me clicking on this notification *immediately* because her videos make me feel like i’m hanging out with the awesome big sister i’ve always wanted. also thanks for making this video, because this is definitely something i struggle with
I know I'm 14, but sometimes I think I'm the only on that can comprehend not idolizing people, it's so weird seeing people think of influencers and celebrities as gods. Also, I'm 1 of 2 people I know that hasn't left my town or even seen family in months. Sometimes I think that I am more mature than adults... which is kinda embarrassing for them hahahahah. hope anyone reading this has a great day!
as a person who spends a LOT of time on stan twitter- i think this is such a perfect video and you explained these topics so well and i appreciate you for this so much. i hope you have a great day wow
i think this is why i’ve stopped idolising people, don’t get me wrong i’ll love them but i’ll never go down a rabbit hole because it seems like everyone has done bad stuff and then there’s the fandom. i just have decided not to get to into fandoms they’re entirely another realm
If the way people present their lives online was exactly like their real lives, the internet would be so boring. No one is doing interesting things 24/7. No one has interesting thoughts 24/7. People post the the highlights. Yes, this causes a warped image of their life. But it’s better that people not share every detail of their lives. A lot of life is personal and usually involves other people who don’t want their lives on the internet. It doesn’t matter that people are different online than in real life, what matters is that we remember that when we are online.
I think social media really needs to hear this right now. I’m 23 and I’ve been big fans of many people and the older you get, the more understanding you are of people’s mistakes. For example, my brother went through a really troublesome time in college, got into drugs and alcohol, got a DUI, and was super irresponsible. But he had severe depression and has been sober for like 5 years now. He’s the most gentle, respectful, and caring person. But at the time, he didn’t know how to handle his struggles. So when that was happening, I became a lot more understanding when celebs go “crazy” or have troublesome years. If my brother was some famous popstar during his bad college years, you bet the media would tear him apart and he’d get canceled for doing stupid shit. I also wanna say that stan Twitter used to be a nice place but I feel like the newer generation just ruined it. It’s all about charts, comparing artists, and spreading lies and hate just to ruin someone’s reputation. I don’t remember it being that way before 2018 and it’s scary thinking about how worse it’s going to get. People can put together a compilation of a celebrity relationship on RUclips and they can manipulate it to look like it’s an awful relationship and one person is the bad guy. And people are stupid enough to believe it. Cyberbullying is at its worst it’s ever been and fans need to stop attacking other artists’ fans. Hate trains need to stop. And people need to stop camping on the internet waiting for a celeb to mess up so they can cancel them. It’s so tiring. There’s more to life than bringing people down just to lift up your favorite celeb. People don’t care about the actual issues, they just want a reason to hate on someone.
i agree with everything in this video!! ppl really need to start idolizing themselves, not ppl who could care less about you! also, i love how you made a point to mention how we’re living in an “instant gratification” type of world. you’re so right about that. keep it up!!❤️❤️
lol I've been noticing that I'm idolizing celebrities/influencers and then get soooo disappointed when they fuck up bc they're people and will inevitably do so
This video made me look at celebs/influencers etc to be just people. No different to you or I. People that aren't above or better than anyone else. Just because they may have a larger following, it doesn't make them a more important person. Like you said, you don't owe anyone anything and you're absolutely right, whether you have a following or not. I'm grateful for this video, genuinely.
I always thought it was weird people have idols. I’ve never had one and in elementary I didn’t like when I was asked. Like yeah I like Vanessa Hudgens and I want to sing like her but not want to be like her?? I like me.
I completely agree! I just recently had this talk with myself because growing up there has always been someone that I idolized. I've also been the person who always has big dreams and even goals similar to the ppl I idolized, but instead of working towards my dreams I would be supporting them all day. When I finally decided to focus on myself and be my own fan I began to see the people I stan as just humans. That for one made me appreciate their hard work even more but also helped me bring them down from the pedestal I put them on and I finally began to feel like my desires are possible because the ppl who inspire me are just like me, a human being. If they can do something, so can I. Great video!! This is definitely something that needs to be talked about a lot more 💕
After listening to the last pod, my brain is just going “You diiiiiiiiiiidddd?” After everything. Nichole: “I used prince as a coping mechanism for my first break up” Me: You diiiiiiiddd?
you worded this perfectly! i was such a hardcore stan of so many ppl from about 2014-2018 & it’d be insane how much time i spent on social media or youtube watching interviews when i likely should’ve just.....been outside....with the few friends i had............like once i met one of my favorite youtubers at the time & didn’t completely freak out (just acted like they were ~normal~) made me come to realize that they’re just humans. they’re regular shmegular people who do a thing that you enjoy.
my parents used to always tell me to never idolize celebs or anyone because there is no point wasting your time and money on people who don't even acknowledge your existence and I never understood what they meant but growing up I understand more and more of what they meant and now I've switched over to anime characters :D
can’t get disappointed by your 2D faves! Plus it’s much more healthy on the other side where the person them self feels overwhelmed by the expectations set of them
I loved this video & honestly think everyone needs to watch this. Parasocial relationships are So weird and it's bc of the idolization and people being put on a pedestal that we feel entitled to their time, energy, and knowing about their entire life. I have made an effort with your videos in specific not to binge-watch them and instead just watch one or two from time to time because I do see you as a person, one I look up to sometimes but not in a "she knows everything" way but in a "she gives good advice/insights" way. Thanks for making this vid and this insight, i''m glad you've been able to change your mindset!
I used to become really obsessed with things (like, a scary amount of obsessiveness), but then when the Logan Paul thing happened in 2016 I realised that if my faves would have done something like that, I would be absolutely heartbroken. Now I don’t go in and memorise every fact available about people and in general try to look at them as humans and trust me, it’s the best choice I’ve done. It makes it a lot better to be aware that it’s a parasocial relationship which means they don’t know or care about me as an individual no matter how much I’d like to think different, and if they mess up I’m actually able to analyse the problem with a clear mind and judge whether I’ll continue to stan them or not based on that. (I do do a basic background check every time I get into someone new though, just because I don’t engage with other fans a lot and then don’t get to know naturally if there are some warning signs from the past I should know about)
As someone who is a huge stan of 5SOS and 1D I needed to hear this. All the boys make me so happy and have helped me with a lot but being that I am only 15 I need to learn how to cope with things myself.
omg thank you so much for helping me see it that way. i can't even count the number of times i would get really into a celebrity, love them to death and then get over them but still tell everyone i like them and watch/listen to everything they put out because i felt like i owe them something but was actually just forcing myself.
the best thing is when you see them as humans, you have a more realistic reason of why u like/are inspired by them and not just bc they seem like a perfect image in your head that u can't attain. thANK YOU NICOLE
Paramore wrote a song about celebrities being put on pedestals called " Idle worship". I think EVERY fan should listen to this. Most overly obsessive fan don't know how much pressure they put on people they idolize.
i haven't even started this video but i'm already excited, i had to go to a funeral a couple days ago for one of my closest relatives (it sucked) and this is exactly what i needed. i love you, thank you. :))
man, I am guilty of doing this. But like, its just so much more valuable to spend time on yourself than time romanticizing someone you probably don't even know as well as you think-- you know you best so romanticize yourself instead!!
i have been apart of stan twitter for about four or five years and this video needs to be sent to Every Stan Twitter user (including me this was a major eye-opener for me bc i really do be a college freshman crying over my favorite influencers while actively avoiding my homework)
very good video on a very relevant topic! being on twitter a lot (and being 22), it saddens me seeing the mentality of all the teens who idolise celebs to an unhealthy extent and either think they can do no wrong, or believe every tiny mistake (I'm obv not talking abt actual shitty stuff) they make makes them a bad person (both extremes are bad). I wish I could make all of them understand that once they're my age they'll realise how much mental energy they wasted constantly worrying abt whether the ppl they idolised are always being perfect 24/7. I may be a huge fan of certain celebs, but I always view that as just regular ppl, and ngl but it feels so much for relaxing.
THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO IVE BEEN SAYING THIS BUT YOU PUT IT INTO WORDS PERFECTLY!!!!! No one is perfect, sets up false expectations when we’re all just humans with different strengths🤷🏽♀️
honestly i can relate to this a lot! I'm 23 now but throughout middle school to high school i was a huge kpop stan. it made me happy, i met so many great friends online, felt like i belonged in a community when i was barely accepted anywhere irl....but i also went through the toxicity of fandoms, and overtime i learned that the people i used to idolize are human. i wish there were people that would tell me these things when I was younger. now i feel comfortable being a fan of many musicians/celebrities without expecting them to be perfect. or having to stalk their instagram profiles everyday. or picking up a fight with another fan or something. i feel more comfortable that way.
I agree with you on so many things which is crazy because technically I’m in so many fandoms but... lately whenever I was doing something and having fun, I would go back to twitter and be like shut I didn’t tweet anything related to this celebrity or like I didn’t see these new pictures. I don’t know if that makes sense but I always felt/feel pressured to be “active” instead of just focusing on myself and how good I’m doing right now. I do think it’s getting better and I’m concentrating more on myself and it’s crazy because you made realize so many things. Lots of love Nicole!!
things that become popular naturally lose their appeal. and when things lose their appeal they become less unique. thats why i overreact whenever something i like that wasnt as popular before becomes popular. which is selfish, but its because its less interesting than before. i just recently realized this.
I totally agree with you. I’ve never been a stan or even a real fan of anything because I’ve never felt a real connection to someone I’ve never met. I find it really invasive when people know a lot about someone, even if it’s public information.
okay so thank u nicole ive like thought about this (feeling better at the point where i dont idolize anyone) a lot of times and this video have made me humanize everyone i see on the internet even more than i have done before🥺 also youve said that when you start to know more and more about your idol then you suddenly just get to this point where you see this person as a PERSON and you just stop liking them that much or even stop liking them at all. so yeah ive been in a situation like this many times😳 and what i love about this moment is that i see how similiar we all are, how many cons we all do have, and it just makes me feel better - i just feel like i like myself and the only person that is going to be in my life til i die is me so its really important for me to like myself though. theres no point in idolizing people who are not really better humans than i am and who dont even know that i exist😉 im so happy that ive understood that its not really healthy for me, like i feel SO MUCH BETTER now!!! and im 15 so im kinda impressed that i got to this point now🥲 but im glad i did
content creators are always personas!! literally any kind of content creator! learning that has been so important for me to develop healthier relationships with the media i consume and im saying that as someone who was heavily involved in fandom as a child
I totally agree. I was obsessed with CTFxC (throwback to old youtube omg lol) when I was like 12/13 and when those two got a divorce, I was so upset. And for why? I don't know these people. Like yeah divorce is sad but it really doesn't affect me. And then subscribers started choosing sides, creating rumors about their breakup- it was just super toxic and not a good time. Boundaries need to be drawn between youtubers/fan bases for sure.
being a directioner, a harrie, a louie, a nialler, a liam and a zquad i experience people idolising them every day and honestly just being stupid about it, which is fun
great video, lots of interesting points! this is something i spend a lot of time thinking about, being “older” online (ie. having been online for a long time) the rise of tiktok influencers etc. is so concerning bc they have SO much more influence (10s of millions of followers) and much of their audience is SO young, and much of their actions go unchecked. it’s wild.
I never save videos to Favorites, but I just saved this one. You have no idea how helpful and exhilarating this was, especially the idea of "I'll disappoint you, this is normal and FINE", especially as a fellow creator. I found you like a week ago and I'm loving the way you view the world and the way you share your views. Also I'm not proud of how the mention of trisha made me binge read her tweets lol
“Learn to idolize your damn self.”
Yes. That’s the quote.
Literally read This comment when she said the line :D
I just dont like the word idolizing because it seems dangerous lol But yes. Focus on yourself and improving your own life! We are all just human. Nothing more or less.
I only idolized pookie and ray ray
literally, days ago I realized the same thing like "why do people treat another person like they're a God just because they have a following" and then mother goose posts this
specially when they are politicians, like the people who think that Trump is some kind of messiah
"mother goose" I'm squealing
@@cherrybomb9915 my dad lmao
It is weird that fans in a way dehumanise their idols so much so that they become nothing more than idea in their head at some point you aren’t a fan of the person but the fantasy 🙇🏾♀️
yes this summarizes it perfectly
Why this is Soo True !!!!
Sometimes i don't like me doing So much Fangirling!!! Not like i have so many friends to hang out with in that time still i feel like "Why wasting time watching an 29 yrs ol adult Eating snow and being cute "
I was isolated a lot as a kid so I never really understood this. Im a big feelings person and emotional intelligence is my strong suit, so that in itself kind of prevents me from separating celebrities from their humanity. But at the same time, I understand where people are coming from when they look up to someone to such a degree.
@aena Let's Start Idolize ourselves first
i really like how you were able to make points that didn't attack or blame people for idolizing celebrities, but rather encouraged generally healthier parasocial relationships on the internet
still watching thru the ads but I already love this vid
That moment when you’re already subbed to someone with a checkMark
Well, this video miiiight be directed at you then lol
oh hiiii ciara 😍😍😍 stay safe and healthy palagi 😘
Same here
I didn’t get any ads lol
thank you for bringing this up!! always wondered how to bring this up but you did it perfectly
i’m here from your insta story post! thanks for bringing this to your subscribers attention
omg hey aliyah
I came from your story
Aliyaaaaaaaaah hiii❤️❤️❤️😘😘
Hey Aliyah!!
Fans are either overly critical or straight up apologists and both being extremes are so wrong.
This is such an important topic not enough people talk about how idolizing celebrities, whether it be politicians like AOC or RUclipsrs can be so incredibly toxic for younger people. You describing it as “phases you used as crutches to get you through life” IS SO ACCURATE. It have no evidence to back this up but I genuinely think it stunts developmental growth 😳😳
so interesting, in what way do you think it stunts growth? i would be inclined to agree too, but i wanna hear your thoughts
I just left a similar comment about development! Idolizing celebs online during my pre-teens (in my 20s now) set up unhealthy expectations of people and relationships.
yeah, i did a video about smokey glow situation but idolizing a youtuber/celebrity is such a disservice to them. after they fuck up (even if it's minor), it's not good if they apologize, it's even worse if they don't. what do you want then? for them never to have done that in the first place? ok great sounds very realistic good luck with that 👍
sooty because these fans make liking these “influencers” part of their personality...it’s not healthy at ALL. They get so aggressive when anything even slightly negative is said about that person because they refuse to believe that the person can do any wrong, and then when an undeniable piece of proof or evidence is brought up that they cannot defend that person from, they are left with a large chunk of their personality and life missing, they probably go and adopt some other destructive trait or begin to praise and idolize another influencer and the cycle continues. It’s weird and unhealthy because it’s like they feel the need to defend these people they BARELY know, and they think I that these people are their friends irl, these are the types of people to stalk their Internet faves simply because they like them sooo much they feel entitled to know all about their personal business, it’s intrusive and weird. People have to stop thinking of them as their in real life friends because they are nottt! They are content creators and this is their job or hobby that they enjoy doing! They are humans and they do sometimes fuck up but it’s okay, we all make mistakes.
truee I agree I have stopped idolizing artists like almost a year now but i sometimes still do but I am able to control it
The Tiktok and Twitter community should watch this video because just like how you could make a mistake your idols can do that same.
Off topic but silent voice is elite
@@RoseeKobi It's a good Anime. Hi!
@@Lee-tl9xo right its great i watched it last weekend
Frr
@@RoseeKobi fr
clementine is the ONLY influencer who we should be idolizing and praising
AGREED
No cap fr
trueee
@ghost robles ummm, idk if you know but..... clementine is her cat
@pebzee LMFAO RIGHT
haven’t watched yet but period
my jaw just DROPPED. girl, not you posting this when I was about to start my homework 😭
i’m am so so sorry
@Caitlyn Coleman its 96 now lol
@@NicoleRafiee now this one is at 69 hehe
People need to start loving themselves as they love their influencers
you didnt have to call me out like that
@@tuathetuatara4195 😂 you need to start loving yourself sis
bruh im trying but it ain’t working 😭😭
armie hammer has entered the chat
oh wow that was not only a disappointment, but a really scary thing
make him leave
What happened??
@@daisyshearing6633 there was a scandal about him being a cannibal, but his story is so much scarier than that. he sexually abused many women (most of whom are suicidal now)- check out @/houseofeffie’s highlights on instagram, she’s a survivor and has great explanations + proof
i love your vids but also i literally thoughts of him too during this vid l
I def needed to hear this- I also have a huge problem of using media as a coping mechanism :/ usually I don't idolize people, but I throw myself into movie series or tv shows and learn as much about them as I can to distract me from my real problems instead of just ~dealing with them~ LOL
damn that hit me hard
damn...same.
is it that bad tho
“I don’t owe anyone anything, nor does anyone owe me anything.”
YES
my older sister idolized chris brown and also had a shrine, imagine her teenage outrage when she found out what happened omg
i think i was confused more than anything and then the teenage outrage happened years later
Nicole: *gives long description of her habits ands traits*
All I hear: "I'm a virgo"
HSJS SGIWKSGSGSKKSVSHSJ 😭😭
THE FACT THAT I GOOGLED “POST-GRAD GLOW” TO FIND THE HIGHLIGHT
This reminds me of how people call certain celebrities/influencers "unproblematic" as if they've never done anything wrong. The idea of someone being completely unproblematic is insane and it's pointless to hold them to an impossible standard like that.
True! We have to accept the people we are fans of that we will never know the TRUE THEM bc we can’t know them or the worst thing they did online. So when they mess up we need to take a step back from how much we like them and try and see things more clearly
pebzee yep! Honestly there was this comment I saw a while ago if you got followed around all day as a celeb u probs be cancelled too not bc we are evil because lots of scandals are blown out of proportion
Yes. That's why I think those words are completely meaningless. The way the internet (13 year olds and extremely immature older people) needs everyone to be 'umproblematic' is DELUSIONAL. That's just not a real thing. And if someone is not extremely perfect according to a bunch of people who don't know them, their life is suddenly full of drama. Social media sucks
Yes omg every time I see people label creators and “unproblematic” I literally cringe (lol) because… you’ve completely set yourself up for disappointment with statements like that
I hate when people say "That *famous person* always does everything right"
OMFG THEY'RE HUMANS LIKE YOU
They're not better than anyone
btw, thanks for the video :)
I also hate when people comment “their fart must’ve smelled nice” 😂😂 i know its a joke but please
"Don't idolize me. Idolize yourself." - Lady Gaga
Lately I’ve really decreased my social media intake, and it’s helped so much with my obsessions. I was a stan (twitter, tumblr) throughout middle school (in college now) and feel like it’s definitely impacted how quickly I fall into parasocial relationships. The crutch situation describes what I go through perfectly. Fantastic vid, as always!!
YOU’RE 👏 FOLLOWER 👏 COUNT 👏 DOES 👏 NOT 👏 MEAN 👏 YOU’RE 👏 BETTER 👏 THAN 👏 ANYONE 👏 ELSE 👏
(Not talking abt u just people in general who need to hear this) 🥺💕🥺💕✨👑
I was a stan of fictional characters in middle school, which we all know is MUCH healthier lol
loll trueee
Me idolizing clementine 🍊👁👄👁🍊
i idolize her too
the only one that we are allowed to idolize
clara camps nicoles’ cat
clara camps if u are a new subscriber or u dont watch her as often it’s completely normal 😂 she had another cat called missy but he passed away a while ago after a couple of months (I think) she adopted clamentine
Why idolize influencers when u can idolize fictional characters? 🤷♀️
I idolize my other personalities😂
who needs real people when there's
animated volleyball boys
i need help
THATS WHAT IM SAYING
@@cattrickie exactly thank you, my haikyuu boys are one of my only sources of serotonin now a days
@@squarerootofmimi literally :,)
i need my dumbasses
i was not mentally prepared for this video considering i haven't stopped idolizing One Direction and it's been five years
Brain: go to sleep you have a final tomorrow
Aunt Nasty: hey
Insomnia: hey
Why can I picture this as I tiktok😩
when you said picking up a celebrity and using them as a crutch i immediately understood what you meant.
"idolize ur damn self" merch would sell so well bc I would buy it all
Reverse psychology accomplished
I feel like you could apply this to a everyone that you really like, Back when I'm a still kid, When I really like someone I see them as a perfect being and once they did something not good you feel 2nd hand embarrassment and it feel really personal to you and now you see them as just like you and feel turn off and your liking for them just went downhill from that.
And now that I'm a little bit more mature I realized that it's not about them it's more about me on how I see them a perfect being even tough no one is.
So I’m currently in a graduate program to become a relational therapist. When I first started out, I idolized the giants in the field, my professors, and my supervisors because they all seemed so wise, so present, and so knowledgeable.
Over time, however, I’ve realized that every one of those people is a human being who doubts themselves, has panicky moments in sessions with their clients, and tries to make themselves seem more confident than they actually are.
Everyone is just trying to get by, do their best, and make it work.
I will admit that I still idolize artists especially music artists BUT I’ve learned that they are humans and are able to make mistakes just like I do so I shouldn’t expect them to be saints
i heard a quote from someone a few days ago and it was along the lines of "as soon as you take unedited footage and cut it together/edit it/manipulate it, youre telling a story." I think that's important to consider and understand when you consume content. everyone is trying to tell a story or paint a picture of themselves in their videos
me clicking on this notification *immediately* because her videos make me feel like i’m hanging out with the awesome big sister i’ve always wanted.
also thanks for making this video, because this is definitely something i struggle with
being a fan of someone is a tightrope to walk cause at any moment you can become an apologist for someone who doesn’t actually deserve or need it
I know I'm 14, but sometimes I think I'm the only on that can comprehend not idolizing people, it's so weird seeing people think of influencers and celebrities as gods. Also, I'm 1 of 2 people I know that hasn't left my town or even seen family in months. Sometimes I think that I am more mature than adults... which is kinda embarrassing for them hahahahah. hope anyone reading this has a great day!
My family doesn't really idolize people. I never really got it either. Humans make mistakes, and believe in the wrong things and that is okay
"Never be so kind, you forget to be clever" Taylor Swift
as a person who spends a LOT of time on stan twitter- i think this is such a perfect video and you explained these topics so well and i appreciate you for this so much. i hope you have a great day wow
"Those people will not ride for you like you ride for them."
A message to EVERYONE worrying about if their friend likes them or not.
i think this is why i’ve stopped idolising people, don’t get me wrong i’ll love them but i’ll never go down a rabbit hole because it seems like everyone has done bad stuff and then there’s the fandom. i just have decided not to get to into fandoms they’re entirely another realm
seeing the way a lot of the influencers have been acting during the pandemic, has helped with this.
You said what needed to be said. The message here is: Don’t have an idol. It’s only you/the best version of you
If the way people present their lives online was exactly like their real lives, the internet would be so boring. No one is doing interesting things 24/7. No one has interesting thoughts 24/7. People post the the highlights. Yes, this causes a warped image of their life. But it’s better that people not share every detail of their lives. A lot of life is personal and usually involves other people who don’t want their lives on the internet. It doesn’t matter that people are different online than in real life, what matters is that we remember that when we are online.
I think social media really needs to hear this right now. I’m 23 and I’ve been big fans of many people and the older you get, the more understanding you are of people’s mistakes. For example, my brother went through a really troublesome time in college, got into drugs and alcohol, got a DUI, and was super irresponsible. But he had severe depression and has been sober for like 5 years now. He’s the most gentle, respectful, and caring person. But at the time, he didn’t know how to handle his struggles. So when that was happening, I became a lot more understanding when celebs go “crazy” or have troublesome years. If my brother was some famous popstar during his bad college years, you bet the media would tear him apart and he’d get canceled for doing stupid shit.
I also wanna say that stan Twitter used to be a nice place but I feel like the newer generation just ruined it. It’s all about charts, comparing artists, and spreading lies and hate just to ruin someone’s reputation. I don’t remember it being that way before 2018 and it’s scary thinking about how worse it’s going to get. People can put together a compilation of a celebrity relationship on RUclips and they can manipulate it to look like it’s an awful relationship and one person is the bad guy. And people are stupid enough to believe it. Cyberbullying is at its worst it’s ever been and fans need to stop attacking other artists’ fans. Hate trains need to stop. And people need to stop camping on the internet waiting for a celeb to mess up so they can cancel them. It’s so tiring. There’s more to life than bringing people down just to lift up your favorite celeb. People don’t care about the actual issues, they just want a reason to hate on someone.
🤔
this can also make us be critical with our lives because we compare it with celebrities/youtubers lives :(
This is why I'm so scared of Harry Styles being cancelled, I'll be v sad
i can already tell this video’s gonna be good
also not the chris breezy posters 😭 felt that, felt that
i agree with everything in this video!! ppl really need to start idolizing themselves, not ppl who could care less about you! also, i love how you made a point to mention how we’re living in an “instant gratification” type of world. you’re so right about that. keep it up!!❤️❤️
OH MY GOD I'VE NEVER HAD SOMEONE PUT MY STAN PHASE INTO WORDS AND I JUST- i feel seen
I was having a literal conversation about this in my head 10 minutes ago Nicole u know me so well
lol I've been noticing that I'm idolizing celebrities/influencers and then get soooo disappointed when they fuck up bc they're people and will inevitably do so
This video made me look at celebs/influencers etc to be just people. No different to you or I. People that aren't above or better than anyone else. Just because they may have a larger following, it doesn't make them a more important person. Like you said, you don't owe anyone anything and you're absolutely right, whether you have a following or not. I'm grateful for this video, genuinely.
I always thought it was weird people have idols. I’ve never had one and in elementary I didn’t like when I was asked. Like yeah I like Vanessa Hudgens and I want to sing like her but not want to be like her?? I like me.
I completely agree! I just recently had this talk with myself because growing up there has always been someone that I idolized. I've also been the person who always has big dreams and even goals similar to the ppl I idolized, but instead of working towards my dreams I would be supporting them all day. When I finally decided to focus on myself and be my own fan I began to see the people I stan as just humans. That for one made me appreciate their hard work even more but also helped me bring them down from the pedestal I put them on and I finally began to feel like my desires are possible because the ppl who inspire me are just like me, a human being. If they can do something, so can I.
Great video!! This is definitely something that needs to be talked about a lot more 💕
After listening to the last pod, my brain is just going “You diiiiiiiiiiidddd?” After everything.
Nichole: “I used prince as a coping mechanism for my first break up”
Me: You diiiiiiiddd?
DUDE SAME LMAOO
you worded this perfectly! i was such a hardcore stan of so many ppl from about 2014-2018 & it’d be insane how much time i spent on social media or youtube watching interviews when i likely should’ve just.....been outside....with the few friends i had............like once i met one of my favorite youtubers at the time & didn’t completely freak out (just acted like they were ~normal~) made me come to realize that they’re just humans. they’re regular shmegular people who do a thing that you enjoy.
my parents used to always tell me to never idolize celebs or anyone because there is no point wasting your time and money on people who don't even acknowledge your existence and I never understood what they meant but growing up I understand more and more of what they meant and now I've switched over to anime characters :D
can’t get disappointed by your 2D faves! Plus it’s much more healthy on the other side where the person them self feels overwhelmed by the expectations set of them
@@helenavasic9989 absolutely agree!!
I loved this video & honestly think everyone needs to watch this. Parasocial relationships are So weird and it's bc of the idolization and people being put on a pedestal that we feel entitled to their time, energy, and knowing about their entire life. I have made an effort with your videos in specific not to binge-watch them and instead just watch one or two from time to time because I do see you as a person, one I look up to sometimes but not in a "she knows everything" way but in a "she gives good advice/insights" way. Thanks for making this vid and this insight, i''m glad you've been able to change your mindset!
I used to become really obsessed with things (like, a scary amount of obsessiveness), but then when the Logan Paul thing happened in 2016 I realised that if my faves would have done something like that, I would be absolutely heartbroken. Now I don’t go in and memorise every fact available about people and in general try to look at them as humans and trust me, it’s the best choice I’ve done. It makes it a lot better to be aware that it’s a parasocial relationship which means they don’t know or care about me as an individual no matter how much I’d like to think different, and if they mess up I’m actually able to analyse the problem with a clear mind and judge whether I’ll continue to stan them or not based on that.
(I do do a basic background check every time I get into someone new though, just because I don’t engage with other fans a lot and then don’t get to know naturally if there are some warning signs from the past I should know about)
i feel like you always articulate so well everything thats like jumbling around in my brain that i can't put to words
currently on a 16 hour road trip, this is exactly what i need
ayyye i’m subbed to you, are you gonna vlog the road trip?
@@brih9613 no ! i’m on my way home but tysm for being a subscriber !
@@gracechristyyt ahaha that’s ok! and np!
As someone who is a huge stan of 5SOS and 1D I needed to hear this. All the boys make me so happy and have helped me with a lot but being that I am only 15 I need to learn how to cope with things myself.
aunt nasty calling out my 15-year-old self:
omg thank you so much for helping me see it that way. i can't even count the number of times i would get really into a celebrity, love them to death and then get over them but still tell everyone i like them and watch/listen to everything they put out because i felt like i owe them something but was actually just forcing myself.
This reminds me of the concept of metaphorically “killing” perfection. Hope you are having a wonderful night.
the best thing is when you see them as humans, you have a more realistic reason of why u like/are inspired by them and not just bc they seem like a perfect image in your head that u can't attain. thANK YOU NICOLE
Paramore wrote a song about celebrities being put on pedestals called " Idle worship". I think EVERY fan should listen to this. Most overly obsessive fan don't know how much pressure they put on people they idolize.
i haven't even started this video but i'm already excited, i had to go to a funeral a couple days ago for one of my closest relatives (it sucked) and this is exactly what i needed. i love you, thank you. :))
man, I am guilty of doing this. But like, its just so much more valuable to spend time on yourself than time romanticizing someone you probably don't even know as well as you think-- you know you best so romanticize yourself instead!!
Samee
i have been apart of stan twitter for about four or five years and this video needs to be sent to Every Stan Twitter user (including me this was a major eye-opener for me bc i really do be a college freshman crying over my favorite influencers while actively avoiding my homework)
We should focus more on the content than the person.
very good video on a very relevant topic! being on twitter a lot (and being 22), it saddens me seeing the mentality of all the teens who idolise celebs to an unhealthy extent and either think they can do no wrong, or believe every tiny mistake (I'm obv not talking abt actual shitty stuff) they make makes them a bad person (both extremes are bad). I wish I could make all of them understand that once they're my age they'll realise how much mental energy they wasted constantly worrying abt whether the ppl they idolised are always being perfect 24/7. I may be a huge fan of certain celebs, but I always view that as just regular ppl, and ngl but it feels so much for relaxing.
in my experience i highly don’t recommend idolizing people... they always disappointed me in the end 😔
THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO IVE BEEN SAYING THIS BUT YOU PUT IT INTO WORDS PERFECTLY!!!!! No one is perfect, sets up false expectations when we’re all just humans with different strengths🤷🏽♀️
as someone who is a kpop fan on the kpop side of twitter, i 100% agree
honestly i can relate to this a lot! I'm 23 now but throughout middle school to high school i was a huge kpop stan. it made me happy, i met so many great friends online, felt like i belonged in a community when i was barely accepted anywhere irl....but i also went through the toxicity of fandoms, and overtime i learned that the people i used to idolize are human. i wish there were people that would tell me these things when I was younger. now i feel comfortable being a fan of many musicians/celebrities without expecting them to be perfect. or having to stalk their instagram profiles everyday. or picking up a fight with another fan or something. i feel more comfortable that way.
Can't wait for the podcast to come up tomorrow so exited‼️
I agree with you on so many things which is crazy because technically I’m in so many fandoms but... lately whenever I was doing something and having fun, I would go back to twitter and be like shut I didn’t tweet anything related to this celebrity or like I didn’t see these new pictures. I don’t know if that makes sense but I always felt/feel pressured to be “active” instead of just focusing on myself and how good I’m doing right now. I do think it’s getting better and I’m concentrating more on myself and it’s crazy because you made realize so many things. Lots of love Nicole!!
things that become popular naturally lose their appeal. and when things lose their appeal they become less unique. thats why i overreact whenever something i like that wasnt as popular before becomes popular. which is selfish, but its because its less interesting than before. i just recently realized this.
I totally agree with you. I’ve never been a stan or even a real fan of anything because I’ve never felt a real connection to someone I’ve never met. I find it really invasive when people know a lot about someone, even if it’s public information.
me: YES GO OFF!!!!!!
also me: living in a one direction shrine
nicole, i love for your sit-down talking videos. never stop making them please
I already see you as a human so you're stuck in top spot ✨
okay so thank u nicole ive like thought about this (feeling better at the point where i dont idolize anyone) a lot of times and this video have made me humanize everyone i see on the internet even more than i have done before🥺 also youve said that when you start to know more and more about your idol then you suddenly just get to this point where you see this person as a PERSON and you just stop liking them that much or even stop liking them at all. so yeah ive been in a situation like this many times😳 and what i love about this moment is that i see how similiar we all are, how many cons we all do have, and it just makes me feel better - i just feel like i like myself and the only person that is going to be in my life til i die is me so its really important for me to like myself though. theres no point in idolizing people who are not really better humans than i am and who dont even know that i exist😉 im so happy that ive understood that its not really healthy for me, like i feel SO MUCH BETTER now!!! and im 15 so im kinda impressed that i got to this point now🥲 but im glad i did
me watching this as one direction stan who's obsessed with zayn malik...
me but obsessed with harry 😂
We all obsessed with the boys but I don't look upto them , they just make me happy . So I guess that's not called idolizing 😶
"Any mistake that seems ordinary to us is suddenly blown up if it is someone that has massive platform" so true!
your videos are the type of videos i like to watch at 3 am
funny profile picture for this video topic (no hate i like dream too lol)
content creators are always personas!! literally any kind of content creator! learning that has been so important for me to develop healthier relationships with the media i consume and im saying that as someone who was heavily involved in fandom as a child
when she tells you to stop idolizing her so we idolize her more LOLOL
no x
@pebzee did you?
I totally agree. I was obsessed with CTFxC (throwback to old youtube omg lol) when I was like 12/13 and when those two got a divorce, I was so upset. And for why? I don't know these people. Like yeah divorce is sad but it really doesn't affect me. And then subscribers started choosing sides, creating rumors about their breakup- it was just super toxic and not a good time. Boundaries need to be drawn between youtubers/fan bases for sure.
being a directioner, a harrie, a louie, a nialler, a liam and a zquad i experience people idolising them every day and honestly just being stupid about it, which is fun
the points you're making are so good omg, and also i love your necklace and hair
That candle of prince reminds me of the countless lit candles that my mom puts in her shower. I can smell the lavender from here.
great video, lots of interesting points! this is something i spend a lot of time thinking about, being “older” online (ie. having been online for a long time) the rise of tiktok influencers etc. is so concerning bc they have SO much more influence (10s of millions of followers) and much of their audience is SO young, and much of their actions go unchecked. it’s wild.
i went through the exact same thing w finneas omg,, also him like cutting her off and different things,
I still can't bring myself to like him much since he's honestly really rude to her on the podcast ):
I never save videos to Favorites, but I just saved this one. You have no idea how helpful and exhilarating this was, especially the idea of "I'll disappoint you, this is normal and FINE", especially as a fellow creator. I found you like a week ago and I'm loving the way you view the world and the way you share your views. Also I'm not proud of how the mention of trisha made me binge read her tweets lol