This radio show was by far the greatest thing to ever be on live airways. Whenever I hit a rough patch I just open up any episode and these three save me.
What’s even funnier is it’s true. The United States did put a 2 ton “manhole cover” over the shaft they lowered a nuclear bomb into and got it in one frame of video for a high speed camera. I did the math one time and figured out the cover hit orbital altitude in 2 SECONDS, which makes it the fastest man made object ever. Scientists aren’t sure if it survived or if it burned up in the atmosphere, but I also did the math assuming it survived and in the +70 years it’s been traveling it would be 1/3 of a light year from Earth!
@@kidindacardboardmask what's a light year though? How many lights in a year or how many years in a light? I know it takes roughly 8 minutes for the light from the sun to hit the earth.. But I don't know how it's measured. How is light measured? How fast is the speed of light? Do we know?
@@kidindacardboardmask a lightyear is 5,865,696,000,000 miles. 5.8 trillion miles. Going off Googles speed of light 186,000 miles a second. Times. By 60 for the minute is 11,160,000. Minutes in a year is 525,600. So, 11,160,000 (speed of light per minute, in miles) x 525,600 (minutes in a year, so how far the light will travel in a year) is 5,865,696,000,000 miles per year. That's how fast Nasa needs to be aiming for in the spaceships to even begin to conquer space and see what's really out there. We're just getting to a thousand miles an hour... Weve bit way to go yet, finding the right fuel first. Back to the man hole cover. 5,865,696,000,000÷3 = 1,955,232,000,000 miles ( 3rd of a light year) Yeh.. They ain't getting it back.. But instead of blowing countries up.. Maybe Nasa should harness it to power the space ships.. Without blowing up the space craft obviously. The answer is there if it's true that a manhole cover has travelled that distance. But how do they know cos as of yet.. Nothing travels that fast to capture the manhole cover.. Except light.. Light definitely can catch it. Thank you.. I'll take my cut. Cheers Nasa.
What made these so funny was Karl always wanted to be professional on air and Ricky drove him insane on purpose. The best lines Karl ever came out with usually came out of Karls frustration. Absolute gold.
It’s not a Carl moment but after Steve says “he never forgets Rick” as Karl is discussing having a meal with the elephant man is my favourite. “Every boy’s fantasy” is also a good one
The funniest thing I've heard Karl say was: "He was wearing a helmet, but he's head come off" followed by "His head was in perfect condition, it just wasn't attached to his body"
Interestingly, Karl himself laughed quite hard in the build up to the one about the monkey prostitute charging bananas. You can probably find the video of the whole segment somewhere on RUclips, something along the lines of "Karl laughs during monkey news".
"Let's do some business with the bananas" is my personal absolute favorite. The monkey news where Karl describes the bartering skills of a group of well-off monkeys who were challenged by some from the "rough bit."
This is brilliant but a wee bit more build up to the punch would be handy for people that haven't already listened to all the stories like most of us have haha 👍
Funniest thing about this is that it's actually true. It happened in 1957 and the manhole cover became the fastest man made object ever and reached a speed of 125,000mph
The end of the Leg Rubber story would have been great too. Also, “Mr Dilkington” is one of Ricky’s funniest laughs. I know it was technically Steve that said it, but he was reading something Karl wrote so it still sort of counts.
Ricky and Steve are cracking up trying to read out "that would be interesting for meatballs" from the 'white van man' questions, brilliant. I think that's one of the times you actually here Ricky hit the floor with laughter 😂
It's probably not understood by many, but "just the way it looked" refers to an astronaut monkey wanting to get back into space again. It's not about a monkey just being "sad" or whatever.
Hilarious, but all of these need more of a set up. "I've always wanted to kick a duck up the ass." Was Karl's answer to 'What would you do if it was the last day on Earth?' Steve wanted to fight in a bar, Ricky was all great albums and wine, then Karl says... "I've always wanted to kick a duck up the ass." Funniest thing I've ever heard. More set up pls!
I would be so happy if they decided to return to do these podcasts, i understand people move on but these three literally have nothing to do with each other now which saddens me. If the three of them got back into a room and talked, it would be funny. The chemistry is there whenever they are together, which we haven't seen for a long time. They need to do something again, if not the podcasts, but ideally, i want new XFM stuff 😂 i am well aware it won't happen
@@theorangetriangle9468 ruclips.net/video/NSeL5c65v-g/видео.html he's not completely far off. The manhole cover was seperated from the nuclear detonation by a huge concrete plug, which became gas from the heat of the nuclear explosion, basically turning the cover into a bullet fired from a gun. The cover itself wasn't touched by the nuclear bomb.
The manhole cover story is that in 1957 they were doing nuclear tests underground to minimise nuclear fallout, the bomb was detonated in a tube, and a manhole cover was part of this tube system. It was never found
I get the philosophy of always leaving them wanting more, and going out on top. But moments like these make me think there is still so much more joy to be had. I highly doubt it, but i live in hope that one day the three of them get abck together again and rekindle these chats.
This must be the most ridiculously effective thing to get people laughing. You could play this at a funeral and everyone would burst, even though WE DON'T EVEN REALLY GET THE PUNCH LINE because the clips are so short.
Absolutely loved this, had some of my favourite clips in it but seriously... how did you miss Harry?! No he wasnt like that, he wasnt like that. Straight too the point, he was like, “Get your knickers off” 😂 Ricky literally falls off his chair its brilliant
I’ve watched and listened to many hours of Karl.. I really, truly don’t think any of it is scripted. If it is, he’s one of the best actors in the world IMO.
I think the best one I've heard is when he asks him if he'd feel guilty wanking if he got a body transplant and without even thinking Karl says "well.. no.. cause they aren't my hand's either"
Yes!!! Burger and grape stuffing is easily one of the best moments ever. Karl spitting out grapes because of Steve and Ricky making him laugh during the challenge.
Any stand up comedian would do anything to be able to naturally phrase things the way karl does, the funniest people sometimes are the people not trying to be funny at all. i love karls way with words.
How do you NOT have...Eyes that pop out of their head...Steve. And the best one is Karl's predictions for the future; an apple a day keeps the doctor away...Ricky almost falls out of his chair
These are only funny if you have been listening to these non stop every night for years and already know what they said 5 minutes before Ricky starts to laugh but fortunately the majority of us have lmfaoo
The kick a duck up the arse came out so dry after their 'end of world' conversation, I rarely ever laughed that hard when I heard it for the first time.
This radio show was by far the greatest thing to ever be on live airways. Whenever I hit a rough patch I just open up any episode and these three save me.
Opie and Anthony....
@@michaelpipkin9942 who?
@@harryprobert6571 the radio equivalent of 12 year-old 4-chan edgelords
@@leminjapanNah it was great with Patrice
They compliment each other perfectly
The manhole cover laugh is enough to to bring anyone out of depression
What’s even funnier is it’s true. The United States did put a 2 ton “manhole cover” over the shaft they lowered a nuclear bomb into and got it in one frame of video for a high speed camera.
I did the math one time and figured out the cover hit orbital altitude in 2 SECONDS, which makes it the fastest man made object ever. Scientists aren’t sure if it survived or if it burned up in the atmosphere, but I also did the math assuming it survived and in the +70 years it’s been traveling it would be 1/3 of a light year from Earth!
Nope still depressed
Something WEIRD is 'appening THERE!!!
@@kidindacardboardmask what's a light year though?
How many lights in a year or how many years in a light?
I know it takes roughly 8 minutes for the light from the sun to hit the earth.. But I don't know how it's measured. How is light measured? How fast is the speed of light? Do we know?
@@kidindacardboardmask a lightyear is 5,865,696,000,000 miles. 5.8 trillion miles. Going off Googles speed of light 186,000 miles a second. Times. By 60 for the minute is 11,160,000.
Minutes in a year is 525,600.
So, 11,160,000 (speed of light per minute, in miles) x 525,600 (minutes in a year, so how far the light will travel in a year) is 5,865,696,000,000 miles per year. That's how fast Nasa needs to be aiming for in the spaceships to even begin to conquer space and see what's really out there. We're just getting to a thousand miles an hour... Weve bit way to go yet, finding the right fuel first.
Back to the man hole cover.
5,865,696,000,000÷3 =
1,955,232,000,000 miles ( 3rd of a light year) Yeh.. They ain't getting it back.. But instead of blowing countries up.. Maybe Nasa should harness it to power the space ships.. Without blowing up the space craft obviously.
The answer is there if it's true that a manhole cover has travelled that distance. But how do they know cos as of yet.. Nothing travels that fast to capture the manhole cover.. Except light.. Light definitely can catch it.
Thank you.. I'll take my cut. Cheers Nasa.
I love it when ricky calls karl a maniac
You know it’s reached a particular point of ridiculousness when the M word comes out.
You know it's funny when Steve laughs with him.
Feeder Zombie from Timesplitterrs 2
Aye
'Man alive, Karl'.
You guys are my people.
Let him finish ricky
What made these so funny was Karl always wanted to be professional on air and Ricky drove him insane on purpose. The best lines Karl ever came out with usually came out of Karls frustration. Absolute gold.
"Why didnt he just look both ways?" Is Ricky's greatest ever laugh
I think the manhole cover was the best
It’s not a Carl moment but after Steve says “he never forgets Rick” as Karl is discussing having a meal with the elephant man is my favourite. “Every boy’s fantasy” is also a good one
Don’t forget that should be interesting for meatballs
The funniest thing I've heard Karl say was:
"He was wearing a helmet, but he's head come off"
followed by
"His head was in perfect condition, it just wasn't attached to his body"
Sounds like roger rabbit in that laugh
3:17 Steve nearly made Karl laugh
3:16 Ricky turns into an old door hinge
@Big Joe Mufferaw
Alright Slim Shady
Interestingly, Karl himself laughed quite hard in the build up to the one about the monkey prostitute charging bananas. You can probably find the video of the whole segment somewhere on RUclips, something along the lines of "Karl laughs during monkey news".
"turns out"
one of my favorite karl moments. "turns out... little prostitute." unbelievable delivery
4:24 😂 Rickys wheeze gets me every time
Man alive Karl
Ricky is either going to live forever or going to die of heart attack laughing.
"Let's do some business with the bananas" is my personal absolute favorite. The monkey news where Karl describes the bartering skills of a group of well-off monkeys who were challenged by some from the "rough bit."
Lol
"I love all this conjecture!"
"Just arrived in Gran Canaria.. the hotel's a bit odd. I've never seen so many cross-eyed people in one location"
This is brilliant but a wee bit more build up to the punch would be handy for people that haven't already listened to all the stories like most of us have haha 👍
the cat that didn't look happy hahahahahahhaa
I love Ricky's laugh but I love the second-later wheeze because there isn't enough air in his lungs to finish the first laugh
Funniest thing about this is that it's actually true. It happened in 1957 and the manhole cover became the fastest man made object ever and reached a speed of 125,000mph
"Kick a duck up the arse" might be my favorite line from Karl.
This was Ricky, Steve and Karl in their prime 😂
they were easily having the most fun of their entire life doing this.
There's no context you've missed out what makes the jokes so funny
how Karl stays deadpan when Ricky laughs the way he does amazes me every time
Because he's being serious
@@Black.Sabbath yes, but that laugh up close at any time would cause anyone to at least crack for a second before saying "no, seriously..."
No matter how low I feel, Ricky bursting out laughing makes me laugh
I love how steve was always the professor just sort of observing it all.
He's actually admitted that he considers himself to be, to Ricky, the equivalent of a chaperone keeping a kid from going bananas in a sweet shop.
Karl explaining his movie idea and describing Clive Owen as Clive Warren will always kill me 😂😂😂
The foodage response is my all time favorite
"Get your knickers off" should have made this list.
Good call, also “from the rough bit of the island”
The end of the Leg Rubber story would have been great too. Also, “Mr Dilkington” is one of Ricky’s funniest laughs. I know it was technically Steve that said it, but he was reading something Karl wrote so it still sort of counts.
Right after the manhole cover there's the famous "square tins" moment where Ricky almost dies laughing
Ricky and Steve are cracking up trying to read out "that would be interesting for meatballs" from the 'white van man' questions, brilliant. I think that's one of the times you actually here Ricky hit the floor with laughter 😂
The "foodage" part almost blew out my speakers!
Context is so important for these to be funny
Yeah exactly dude
I know most of the contexts but the double the chance thing eludes me.
It's probably not understood by many, but "just the way it looked" refers to an astronaut monkey wanting to get back into space again. It's not about a monkey just being "sad" or whatever.
This three can cure anything. 🤣 never gets old NEVER! 🥰🤣
5:46
why didn't he look both ways is actually beyond genius, just wow
The best part is Karl isn't even trying to be funny. To him nothing that he is saying is funny.
"What bit I haven't told ya about.... Its actually run by a couple a chimps" 😂😂😂
This is the best video on youtube. Anytime I feel down I just come to this. Thank you for making this.
Foreal man lol
I especially enjoyed the full 7 seconds of silence in the beginning that makes you check your volume, thinking your audio is bugged..
Syok ok boomer
@@ASMRStud You feel me, zoomer?
I’ve never not laughed at the manhole cover bit. Heard it about 15 times it gets me everytime. First time I genuinely lost all my bodily functions.
As a part of physics education :D :D :D
Funny thing is it's true.
W8 M4N yeah I really do believe that they’ve not seen the manhole cover since.
@@SinnohGreen RIP manhole cover. Not sure about that part though.
@Proper nothing is "TRUE" the way Karl says it. There's often a kernel of truth in the bollocks he spouts
Nothing beats the diary - Dilkington...I died
That is up there but "that my name was Brett" is close
Mr. Dilkington, you are one of our most valuable customer
@@jgrillo638 I put it in the bin.
It's actually Steve's laugh that sometimes gets me the most 🤣🤣🤣
It adds to it because its not often he outbursts. He'll maybe chuckle or do that silly "hee hee" laugh
Hilarious, but all of these need more of a set up. "I've always wanted to kick a duck up the ass." Was Karl's answer to 'What would you do if it was the last day on Earth?' Steve wanted to fight in a bar, Ricky was all great albums and wine, then Karl says... "I've always wanted to kick a duck up the ass." Funniest thing I've ever heard. More set up pls!
I would be so happy if they decided to return to do these podcasts, i understand people move on but these three literally have nothing to do with each other now which saddens me. If the three of them got back into a room and talked, it would be funny. The chemistry is there whenever they are together, which we haven't seen for a long time. They need to do something again, if not the podcasts, but ideally, i want new XFM stuff 😂 i am well aware it won't happen
"Everyone Likes the Smell of Bacon"
😁😭🤣😂🤣😭😁
You know it’s a belter when Merchant cracks up
The manhole cover story is actually true!
Yup; the fastest manmade object ever iirc.
But Karl has the eloquent storytelling ability of a Mack Truck going through a cement factory lol.
Surely it’s not true as Karl described? Fairly certain that steel is vaporised by nuclear bombs for a good 1/2 mile around detonation?
@@theorangetriangle9468 ruclips.net/video/NSeL5c65v-g/видео.html
he's not completely far off.
The manhole cover was seperated from the nuclear detonation by a huge concrete plug, which became gas from the heat of the nuclear explosion, basically turning the cover into a bullet fired from a gun. The cover itself wasn't touched by the nuclear bomb.
I think the square tins is the funniest of all 😅
How can that picture be so accurate... 🍊
3:15 I love the quiver in Karl’s voice
"Kick a duck up the arse" will never not be funny
Ducks are just inherently funny - hence the success of Donald and Daffy.
@@SuperSongbird21 and they have quite a kickable ass
The last one was the best one because it’s Karl unintentionally telling a decent joke
"There was a shadow somewhere" is up there too
Fucking hell, that's top tier that one
I think the most genuine uncontrollable laughter from Ricky is when Karl talks about a toddler that used to chase cars.
You missed the one where Karl gives his future predictions
They used to say "An apple a day keeps the doctor away", now they're saying "Eat five fruits".
the natural lowering of the trouser nearly killed me
"I am going to burst!"
Brilliant compilation! I think my ersonal favourite ever is the "get yer knickers off" one 🤣
This is brilliant.
The manhole cover story is that in 1957 they were doing nuclear tests underground to minimise nuclear fallout, the bomb was detonated in a tube, and a manhole cover was part of this tube system. It was never found
That's the thing about Karl's stories, there's always some truth at the center of them but his warped little mind has distorted all the details 😅
I get the philosophy of always leaving them wanting more, and going out on top. But moments like these make me think there is still so much more joy to be had. I highly doubt it, but i live in hope that one day the three of them get abck together again and rekindle these chats.
"The lad with two heads got run over" - Oh god, I know what's coming next
You know its good when Ricky's laugh goes for a third verse
The best part is that Karl is saying all these things and not even trying to be funny. He’s being himself and it makes Ricky die with laughter 🤣😁
Forgot about "I think there are some bacteria who have better life than that."
or auntie noras fanny looking like a ripped tennis ball
This must be the most ridiculously effective thing to get people laughing. You could play this at a funeral and everyone would burst, even though WE DON'T EVEN REALLY GET THE PUNCH LINE because the clips are so short.
If you cut away the context of why he bursts into laughter, it's instantly a hundred times less funny.....
"Get me in the book." 🤣
Absolutely loved this, had some of my favourite clips in it but seriously... how did you miss Harry?!
No he wasnt like that, he wasnt like that. Straight too the point, he was like, “Get your knickers off” 😂 Ricky literally falls off his chair its brilliant
"the fuck's Harry?!" 😂
I love how Ricky laughs like a chimpanzee. “HA HA HA HAAAAAA!!!!!”
I don’t think Karl gets credit for the fact that he really understands how to time the delivery
I’ve watched and listened to many hours of Karl.. I really, truly don’t think any of it is scripted. If it is, he’s one of the best actors in the world IMO.
Karl is such a good straight man because it's so hard to make him break character and laugh
"Should've looks both ways" is the best joke by Karl I've heard him say since I started listening to him 10 years ago
I think the best one I've heard is when he asks him if he'd feel guilty wanking if he got a body transplant and without even thinking Karl says "well.. no.. cause they aren't my hand's either"
@@JB-wy8fc I agree, another brilliant joke.
because of his hat he chewed instead of attitude was great too
The burgers episode bit when Karl goes: “I can’t do this either…” is the best one ever
Yes!!! Burger and grape stuffing is easily one of the best moments ever. Karl spitting out grapes because of Steve and Ricky making him laugh during the challenge.
@@snakez1747 Steve throwing in “We could make wine” is always a classic as well
He's unintentionally hilarious but when you actually think about the things he says they strangely make sense !!!
Any stand up comedian would do anything to be able to naturally phrase things the way karl does, the funniest people sometimes are the people not trying to be funny at all. i love karls way with words.
Its so true
Man alive Karl 😂
Ricky’s laugh sounds like it’s going to break my headphones
4:16 is just amazing
Oh brilliant. I listen to the xfm on cycle but this does it in a quick one session if I'm in a rush 🤣
You know it's funny when Ricky laughs, and the decibel level reading is stuck in the red.
Two of my favourites are the shadow that kept knocking people off their bikes and the immortal line ‘I was using me eyes even though I had ‘em shut’ 🤣
Haven't watched it yet but i bet this is the best one.
My favourite is Ricky laughing in the background during Karl’s genius Kes video.
or scrooge when he said garlic bread like peter kay, ricky screamed
Brilliant comedy trio!
Brilliant. You forgot my name was Brett 😂😂
I don't get the foodage one but Rickys laugh still gets me
How do you NOT have...Eyes that pop out of their head...Steve. And the best one is Karl's predictions for the future; an apple a day keeps the doctor away...Ricky almost falls out of his chair
i come here when i want to be happy
1:22 Ricky holding in a laugh lol
2:00 it's surreal to hear the "XFM version" of this line. He answers the exact same question the exact same way for the Ricky Gervais podcast 🦆
You’re obsessed with duck arse.
It is from the Podcast.
@@115Wilko always wanted to kick a duck up the arse
Jay Hunter, ya fuckin' animal, ya!
Definatley from the podcast
These are only funny if you have been listening to these non stop every night for years and already know what they said 5 minutes before Ricky starts to laugh but fortunately the majority of us have lmfaoo
If it's a potato or a nut... it's a foodage.
"I've always want to kick a duck up the arse" 🤣
That manhole cover one killed me
The manhole cover one killed me.
"STEVE, STEVE.. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAAYYY"
I’ve never heard some of these ! Fucking hilarious
The kick a duck up the arse came out so dry after their 'end of world' conversation, I rarely ever laughed that hard when I heard it for the first time.
Do we need em?
Seriously do feel sorry for Americans who won’t ever be able to understand how outrageously Funny Karl ricky and merchant are
I'm a Yank and have never encountered anyone funnier than Karl!
2024 still has me laughing 😂
"That me name were Brett"
Great comp
Steve: “Man alive Karl!”
Grape crusher!
Sorry?!
You're a grape crusher, next!