I Help People Die For A Living | For A Living | Refinery29

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  • Опубликовано: 23 июл 2024

Комментарии • 1,4 тыс.

  • @ellee8658
    @ellee8658 6 лет назад +15835

    "Talking about sex won't make you pregnant. Talking about death won't make you dead."
    My new favorite quote.

  • @almamater489
    @almamater489 5 лет назад +10153

    If Mother Earth had a face she'd look like Alua

    • @GoingwithGrace
      @GoingwithGrace 5 лет назад +358

      thats the sweetest thing! thank you 💜

    • @torialexis19
      @torialexis19 3 года назад +11

      💖💞

    • @kkrot81
      @kkrot81 3 года назад +18

      Yes! A million times YES!

    • @kkrot81
      @kkrot81 3 года назад +28

      Going with Grace Omgosh it’s you!! You are AMAZING! You embody everything beautiful in this world! The last few words of the video sum you and your journey up so perfectly.... “this is my gift to the world.” Bless you beautiful women, bless you!!

    • @freyalouise9862
      @freyalouise9862 3 года назад +9

      that is so true omg

  • @zerodoodle
    @zerodoodle 6 лет назад +8191

    I just want to say she's so beautiful.

    • @TaylorAmelia
      @TaylorAmelia 4 года назад +26

      Zerodoodle my thoughts precisely

    • @nanakwaku
      @nanakwaku 4 года назад +21

      You beat me to it!

    • @manuelitosinatra9456
      @manuelitosinatra9456 4 года назад +37

      Her voice is beautiful as well ❤️

    • @anavictoria7688
      @anavictoria7688 4 года назад +32

      Her hair omg 👌🏾

    • @stephaniesanchez7321
      @stephaniesanchez7321 3 года назад +5

      @@manuelitosinatra9456 Really? I couldn't get passed her lisp. Guess some people just overlooked it , but I cant unhear it.

  • @witchplease9695
    @witchplease9695 6 лет назад +4176

    I will be contacting her. My grandpa has cancer and only has a few years left to live. He says he wants his death to be a celebration of his life. He wants it to be positive. She is the woman to make it so.

  • @ejanel7773
    @ejanel7773 6 лет назад +6234

    I am a funeral director/embalmer and this is refreshing to see this. Most people shy away from the topic of death. It is coming for us all. Be prepared.

    • @lastnamefirst_
      @lastnamefirst_ 6 лет назад +11

      Erica Janel just curious how's the money?

    • @asialadd7584
      @asialadd7584 6 лет назад +24

      Hi...ummm I dont know how to ask this but, I've always been interested in doing something like embalming but never knew how to get into it would you have any advice? *not joking*

    • @ejanel7773
      @ejanel7773 6 лет назад +34

      It is a small family business and we live in South Mississippi. the pay is not what you would get in some other places but it is pretty good for this area because the cost of living here is next to nothing. I am salary so that can be good when we a not so busy but when we are busy I often wonder. but really it is a calling on my life. If i had another source of income... I would do this for free! I love what I do just that much.

    • @ejanel7773
      @ejanel7773 6 лет назад +24

      I would just say go for it. do your research. find out what the requirement are in your state. get info on the mortuary schools in your state. find a funeral director/embalmer that would let you follow them around for a few days to see what we do and that would give an idea if you really want this life. it can be just as hard as it is rewarding. best of luck. @asia ladd

    • @GoingwithGrace
      @GoingwithGrace 6 лет назад +23

      Yes thank you Erica! And yes lets keep encouraging people to face the conversation about death head-on. Thanks for watching and for adding your voice.

  • @yourbootyholeisyourbeautyhole
    @yourbootyholeisyourbeautyhole 6 лет назад +4365

    this is actually really sweet. dark, but sweet. so many people are afraid, myself included, and aula is there to comfort them. what an amazing woman

    • @GoingwithGrace
      @GoingwithGrace 6 лет назад +26

      your bootyhole is your beautyhole Thank you!!!

    • @lxvekookkpopedits5560
      @lxvekookkpopedits5560 6 лет назад +10

      your bootyhole is your beautyhole she is a very wise woman in my opinion as well

    • @sinnsage
      @sinnsage 3 года назад +14

      why is it dark? that's the point. nothing about this is dark. it is only so because we deem it so. you can change the way you look at things - it's the only control you have

    • @rachelbrown3766
      @rachelbrown3766 3 года назад +6

      Where will you spend Eternity?
      John 3:36, ESV: "Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whoever does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him."
      John 11:25-26: Jesus said to her, *“I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in Me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?”*
      1 John 5: 10-13
      *"Whoever believes in the Son of God accepts this testimony. Whoever does not believe God has made him out to be a liar, because they have not believed the testimony God has given about his Son. And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life. I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life."*

    • @youtubespy9473
      @youtubespy9473 3 года назад +16

      LMFAO I thought the people in the comments were saying "Your Bootyhole is your beauty hole" then read your name.

  • @Courtney5cents
    @Courtney5cents 3 года назад +1531

    “ We will die, but before that day comes, let us LIVE 💕

    • @evalerole
      @evalerole 3 года назад +6

      ❤😍

    • @legacy9639
      @legacy9639 3 года назад +11

      🙏💪♥♥♥ In Jesus Mighty Name Amen

    • @stanfatou2002
      @stanfatou2002 3 года назад +12

      What gets me is what is after death. There literally HAS to be something after death. Our conscious moves on to another realm and its proven. Thats why im a Christian

    • @Toastiel
      @Toastiel 3 года назад +4

      @@stanfatou2002 think about that after death arrives, for now just live the best life you can^^

    • @jairousparker2311
      @jairousparker2311 3 года назад +1

      Well said. It's all a blessing to have lived and been grateful.

  • @morbidiculous
    @morbidiculous 5 лет назад +2136

    I just came here from Ask a Mortician where Alua was the featured guest this week. Alua is just enchanting! She radiates life, joy, and beautiful energy.
    Her personal funeral sounds absolutely perfect.

    • @M0OSE
      @M0OSE 5 лет назад +21

      I saw Alua on Ask a Mortician as well, and she came across my recommendations again and I got so excited! She has such a beautiful and radiant spirit, I can feel it all the way from here.

    • @kahlleemonachelli4981
      @kahlleemonachelli4981 5 лет назад +3

      Same!!!!

    • @emilywhittle1420
      @emilywhittle1420 5 лет назад +2

      Christina S. Hey 👋Fellow Deathling here as well

    • @glitterbea
      @glitterbea 5 лет назад +1

      same!

  • @refinery29
    @refinery29  6 лет назад +3400

    Who else thinks Alua has a beautiful soul and energy? Comment below :)

    • @uniqueLeo08
      @uniqueLeo08 6 лет назад +21

      Refinery29 so beautiful

    • @jennasalgado665
      @jennasalgado665 6 лет назад +6

      Refinery29 yesss omg I love her

    • @cherilune1261
      @cherilune1261 6 лет назад +5

      Her name is ALUA Arthur not Aula. Can't google her by Aula.

    • @katiedegraaff5805
      @katiedegraaff5805 6 лет назад +13

      Alua is beautiful and serene. If I had someone like her in my life for the passing of my loved ones there would not have been so much confusion and fear. What a special woman!

    • @narsjo6500
      @narsjo6500 6 лет назад +4

      Refinery29 she’s so beautiful and has great energy!

  • @GoingwithGrace
    @GoingwithGrace 6 лет назад +2123

    Thank you so much for this feature!! And my name is ALUA Arthur 🤗

    • @miramira7031
      @miramira7031 6 лет назад +46

      Going with Grace you are so amazing .... you are an inspiration ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ thank you so much ..

    • @UKLeonie
      @UKLeonie 6 лет назад +36

      Such an important role to play, in supporting people in the community and worldwide. Thank you for your service and allowing us to know more.

    • @melissamcclain34
      @melissamcclain34 6 лет назад +15

      Going with Grace I have so much respect for what you do Alua, halfway through this video I planned to ask you how I could go about becoming a death doula but after watching this video in its entirety I have my answer. There is no class or training, it's something you either have or you don't and you definitely have it. ❤❤ God Bless

    • @tmystery9505
      @tmystery9505 6 лет назад +3

      You are such an amazing person. Your work is so important. Thankyou

    • @Hereforthevibes07
      @Hereforthevibes07 6 лет назад +6

      Do you have any advice for someone who is interested in pursing being a Death Doula as a career field?

  • @laraanisere2962
    @laraanisere2962 4 года назад +686

    Wow, what a woman. Please if you're reading this Alua, WRITE A BOOK!! Your insight is necessary and nourishing.

    • @storytimewithamy
      @storytimewithamy 3 года назад +1

      I second this

    • @marblessed9597
      @marblessed9597 3 года назад +4

      Then, she will NOT have a business...why give all of that knowledge away 4 nothing/cheaply when she can continually get paid???!!!

    • @AJ-km1hp
      @AJ-km1hp 3 года назад

      100%

  • @aliyahbah6605
    @aliyahbah6605 5 лет назад +662

    “I feel most alive when I talk to people about death” I am her and she is me

  • @laboheme125
    @laboheme125 6 лет назад +1651

    I didn't know what to expect before watching this. I have to say I loved every minute of it. Aula has such a beautiful spirit. Thanks for sharing your gift and story.

    • @asdfghjk749
      @asdfghjk749 6 лет назад

      Chishimba Simutowe wtf dude your pic scares me.......

    • @GoingwithGrace
      @GoingwithGrace 6 лет назад +5

      Thank you!!

    • @refinery29
      @refinery29  6 лет назад +19

      +chishimbasimutowe Thanks for watching!

    • @laboheme125
      @laboheme125 6 лет назад +3

      Refinery29 pleasure is always mine. Live your videos 😀

    • @laboheme125
      @laboheme125 6 лет назад +1

      Akwany Noooo was going for a quirky selfie

  • @ladyshkspre
    @ladyshkspre 6 лет назад +505

    By the way, this woman is one of the most beautiful people--inside and out--that I've ever heard about on RUclips. Her vocation, her spirit, her energy, everything about her is so uplifting which was truly surprising given her profession. Thank you so much for sharing her story here!

    • @lulumoon6942
      @lulumoon6942 2 года назад

      I'm so grateful to share the world with her!!! ❤️

  • @brierrawalton2163
    @brierrawalton2163 6 лет назад +699

    The death therapy session almost made me cry. I am terrified of dying and also how I will die

    • @claireplauche7724
      @claireplauche7724 6 лет назад +59

      Brierra Walton use that fear to make amends (if you feel out of balance or if you feel you have offended someone), try to live each day like your last, spend some time telling your loved ones how they have contributed to your life, and trust in Heavenly Father who knows your needs. Come to Him in prayer and know that Christ s life is an example, he died publicly, in humility, we are asked to do much less... We're ALL on borrowed time...💞

    • @michelehood8837
      @michelehood8837 5 лет назад +65

      Brierra, as you get older, death becomes less frightening, I promise you.

    • @Toccata.
      @Toccata. 5 лет назад +3

      Same

    • @icrymatchatears2857
      @icrymatchatears2857 3 года назад +20

      by the time your time has come youll be done with life sis this shit is tiring

    • @PrincessDrRe
      @PrincessDrRe 3 года назад

      Me too... 😢

  • @AnikaKarodyMuffins
    @AnikaKarodyMuffins 4 года назад +214

    I've always had a fear of death. After watching this video, the fear has somehow started to go away.

    • @rachelbrown3766
      @rachelbrown3766 3 года назад +8

      Where will you spend Eternity?
      John 3:36, ESV: "Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whoever does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him."
      John 11:25-26: Jesus said to her, *“I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in Me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?”*
      1 John 5: 10-13
      *"Whoever believes in the Son of God accepts this testimony. Whoever does not believe God has made him out to be a liar, because they have not believed the testimony God has given about his Son. And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life. I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life."*

    • @p1nkfangs
      @p1nkfangs 3 года назад +13

      My fear is not death itself but dying suddenly In the beginning of my life

    • @gabymartinez2814
      @gabymartinez2814 3 года назад +7

      @@p1nkfangs Fr man I know death will come but honestly I just hope it doesn’t happen when I’m living my best life

  • @amberleysmith7158
    @amberleysmith7158 6 лет назад +233

    And now I'm crying on Cinco de Mayo. I'd never heard of a death doula, but I'm glad this occupation exists.

  • @Jigme2727
    @Jigme2727 4 года назад +217

    Let's talk about her accessories and clothes that are originally designed and made in Africa !!!!so beautiful !!!❤❤❤

  • @yasamangaler1107
    @yasamangaler1107 4 года назад +329

    Her funeral sounds amazing. Imagine giving ppl your jewelry to wear and everyone will dance and laugh and cry. Full of color and life. I’d want to be outside too

  • @whychoooseausername4763
    @whychoooseausername4763 6 лет назад +256

    I've never smiled and cried so much in 8 minutes. I'm a med student, and I've witnessed 2 deaths in the ICU. We don't talk about it, even though it's so important. I actually asked the nursing staff if I could come help wash the body of a man who deceased for presentation to the family. He was so peaceful in death, unlike during the end of his life, and there was nothing scary about his body; on the contrary I felt an incredible closeness and love and tenderness for this guy and his family that I didn't know at all (I was doing a shift, he wasn't my patient).
    I hope one day we can eliminate death and disease, but in the meantime, it's the one thing we all share: the idea that one day we will die. We should make it about togetherness and thoughtfulness instead of fear.

    • @analogkid4957
      @analogkid4957 3 года назад +14

      I wish more Doctors and medical staff thought like you. You will be an excellent and compassionate physician. I think a Doctor Bernie Seagal or Siegel was a Physician who embraced death and dying and wrote books on it.

    • @tr6123
      @tr6123 3 года назад +2

      Yeah... So your compassion is cool and all but would the deceased have consented to letting you see their naked dead body if you'd have asked? 😅
      Personally for my ownself, I would inform beforehand that I don't agree and thus don't give permission to let anyone see my dead body other than the cleaner and my mum maybe and too just when it's necessary parts, before finally getting put in the ground.
      So I hope you keep this point of view in mind too when it comes to deceased people's bodies, not everyone will be okay having with any kind of audience.

    • @whychoooseausername4763
      @whychoooseausername4763 3 года назад +10

      @@tr6123 It takes 2-4 people to clean a living person, so at least 4 for a body. And time is of the essence, we want them to be presentable to the family before rigor mortis sets in.

    • @luh0604
      @luh0604 3 года назад

      @@tr6123 she was the cleaner tho

    • @mrcrabmoney
      @mrcrabmoney 3 года назад +2

      Bless you. Thank you for sharing.

  • @sarahnuovo2389
    @sarahnuovo2389 6 лет назад +434

    For someone who works in death, she is so alive.

  • @isoldebui4039
    @isoldebui4039 3 года назад +21

    “From working with death I’ve learned that life is so precious. And even the pain is as pleasant as the joy.”
    I want to live from this perspective

  • @gurleen7041
    @gurleen7041 3 года назад +56

    i love her whole vibes and mindset. she really romanticizes every aspect of life from birth all the way to death. it’s beautiful and comforting.

  • @fern69666
    @fern69666 3 года назад +56

    I love her energy. She is reminding us to live in the present, the now. Reminding us that we are not immortal, reminding us to make the most of our lives knowing that we are just skin, bones, and organs. Knowing that we may pass into another plane, realm, or life at any time.
    Her passion makes me feel, makes me cry, and makes me even more passionate to get through my everyday struggles. life is temporary, so make an impact.

    • @clairechloe5294
      @clairechloe5294 3 года назад

      Z - you said it so beautifully and thoughtfully. I see life with a similar view. Many blessings to you.

  • @solacesal
    @solacesal 3 года назад +57

    This is like “the talk” for old people
    Kids learn about starting their life and older people learn about...ending it...

    • @lilyung3203
      @lilyung3203 3 года назад +1

      Then there’s me who intoxicates myself by learning how to start life but also thinks about death

    • @tonjirucker999
      @tonjirucker999 2 года назад

      Old people are not the only ones who die, dear heart.
      These discussions are for anyone who has a birthdate.
      My dad once told me, 'Death doesn't discriminate. Go to the cemetery. . There are just as many short graves as there are long ones.'

  • @hannahmichaels9992
    @hannahmichaels9992 3 года назад +71

    She’s so passionate about her work. I just know she’s helped many people throughout her career and has been a beam of positivity in a time that is so difficult. I love her philosophy about it

  • @FM-hm7wr
    @FM-hm7wr 3 года назад +17

    I love that despite her being comfortable with talking about death and looking at it in the face of others and accepting it as part of being human, she still cries about the death of her brother-in law like any other person would have done.

  • @ltm3368
    @ltm3368 3 года назад +50

    I can't describe how much I love this. She's doing so much good for the world in such a seemingly small way and her joy and love of life is contagious. I am myself a nineteen-year-old with a chronic illness that could take me away at 30-something but I'm also one of the most positive, life-loving people you could find, so this resonates deeply with me. Be ambitious, have big dreams but remember to live for today as well, they're not mutually exclusive. It's cliche but true

  • @Crystal-of9qr
    @Crystal-of9qr 6 лет назад +416

    How amazing is this?? I never knew this existed. I think it’s beautiful!! Thank you for helping people who are dying.

  • @melonyochieng5023
    @melonyochieng5023 6 лет назад +131

    I love her sense of style.

  • @ANXI8TY
    @ANXI8TY 3 года назад +111

    I heard that there's a process in which someone's dead body can be turned into fertilizer to basically help grow a tree. It's much more environmental l to create botanical garden cemeteries with trees and headstones in front of them to show who that tree is and honor their memory. We are figments of nature, giving back to nature.

    • @aliengirl2013
      @aliengirl2013 3 года назад +12

      That’s a very beautiful idea and a thought

    • @Maid4luv
      @Maid4luv 3 года назад +11

      Yes!!! This is what i want for myself and for a massive, flowering tree to planted and nourished with my fertilizer.

    • @GGm03474
      @GGm03474 2 года назад

      Wow that's amazing

    • @BiG-JuPO1O1
      @BiG-JuPO1O1 2 года назад +1

      @@Maid4luv Same, that what I want and give back to nature.

  • @MerveilleK
    @MerveilleK 3 года назад +15

    ‘’One day we all will die, but before that day comes, let us live.’’ Beautifully said

  • @shayjtarot
    @shayjtarot 6 лет назад +208

    Very cool sister. I love her energy. We are all energy. Love and light 🌻✌

  • @claireplauche7724
    @claireplauche7724 6 лет назад +233

    OK, I have to have you come to Louisiana! I've been a hospice nurse for 7 years, its amazing to me how many people don't even discuss this part of LIFE! Its really all about perspective and changing your focus.. We're all on borrowed time, besides, our Spirit lives in and Love is so much more powerful than death, but Death remains essential

    • @GoingwithGrace
      @GoingwithGrace 6 лет назад +15

      Claire Plauche I will gladly come to Louisiana!! We’re absolutely in alignment with our thoughts on dying 💜

    • @claireplauche7724
      @claireplauche7724 6 лет назад +4

      Going with Grace Yeess! Trying to reopen my inpatient palliative unit.. I try to incorporate massage, when applicable, and lots of guided imagery into the carr of the actively dying, but i feel that if we intervened earlier...especially with the way you focus and help them access the subconscious.... THAT, is a great gift you have, my friend.... What introspection! Thank you for this. Its in-service time! Are you with an agency?

    • @GoingwithGrace
      @GoingwithGrace 6 лет назад +2

      Claire Plauche I just LOVE the idea of massage and guided imagery as a way of easing the transition!!

    • @babycakes7231
      @babycakes7231 6 лет назад +14

      hey, I know I’m just a random person on the internet but I’d like to say thank you for being a hospice nurse. I’m only 23 but I lost both of my parents, due to addiction. However, hospice care made the last moments of their lives more bearable. Thank you for everything that you do, take care and I send you lots of hugs!

    • @claireplauche7724
      @claireplauche7724 6 лет назад +5

      baby cakes THANK YOU SO MUCH! Addiction is tough to understand, and we have such a long way to go in the medical community in dealing with such diseases... Hugs and kisses for you also, friend, I know that your parents are not far away....teach your experience to others.. You are invaluable! 😘💞

  • @sim_simma225
    @sim_simma225 3 года назад +45

    This woman is so genuine, got Chills as she spoke! 📿🤍

  • @cleesimmons1
    @cleesimmons1 3 года назад +24

    She’s beautiful inside and out. She has found her purpose in life and it shows.

  • @BinkyTheGoddessDivine
    @BinkyTheGoddessDivine 6 лет назад +246

    When my time comes, I want to hire her. She seems very nice and personable.

    • @yellowtoes2665
      @yellowtoes2665 6 лет назад +3

      B Ferrara cause that gap

    • @GoingwithGrace
      @GoingwithGrace 6 лет назад +17

      I’d love to support you!! And I’ll probably still have the gap 😂

    • @murtithinker7660
      @murtithinker7660 3 года назад

      Do you fear death? I hate death, but I do not fear my death. So I do not need comfort during my death.

    • @BinkyTheGoddessDivine
      @BinkyTheGoddessDivine 3 года назад

      @@murtithinker7660 You're lying. You say that now, but when your time comes you will change your tune. When you're screaming in pain or gasping for air before you die, you will feel fear. Everybody does.

    • @LolaBugzy85
      @LolaBugzy85 3 года назад

      You dnt know your time. Nobody knows their time of death.

  • @isabella2513
    @isabella2513 4 года назад +32

    She’s so peaceful...........bless her for choosing this profession.

  • @ishi7036
    @ishi7036 3 года назад +26

    “Pain is as pleasant as the Joy”

  • @ambarrose
    @ambarrose 3 года назад +7

    Ancient religions had this kind of attitude towards death. They thought of death as going back to the earth, going back to the creator, the origin of everything. There is suffering, yes. But there should be also joy in it. In being free from all the sad things on this world. Not being sick or in pain anymore. We somehow lost all of that through the centuries. We now grieve so deeply for our loved ones.

  • @nicolahocking5981
    @nicolahocking5981 6 лет назад +137

    Fantastic video. She is such a wonderful woman and what she does is so important. Discussing death is like taboo and it shouldn't be. Xx

  • @gbemisolaatinsola9697
    @gbemisolaatinsola9697 6 лет назад +60

    The title had me confused, but she definitely cleared the hot air. God bless her 💖

  • @scottiemomma2314
    @scottiemomma2314 2 года назад +4

    What a beautiful person, inside and out ❤️ She seems like one of those people who could really enrich the time that terminal patients have left. Amazing ❤️

  • @Rose-ew3fu
    @Rose-ew3fu 3 года назад +10

    what an overwhelmingly beautiful woman. such palpable power, grace, and passion.

  • @medicalyuki
    @medicalyuki 6 лет назад +102

    Her positivity had me in tears in the end! Thanks for this great video Refinery 29!

  • @claireplauche7724
    @claireplauche7724 6 лет назад +78

    😘😘Also.. Just had to say....look for that lil guy eavesdropping in the video... So sweet.... Please dont leave children out of discussions about death.. It is their Divine rite.. They want to hear how you cope, and what to do.. Really.. They process so much better than we think they do... Families are Forever

    • @GoingwithGrace
      @GoingwithGrace 6 лет назад +28

      Claire Plauche He was so present the entire time even though it looked like he was just playing! We asked what he thought and he kept saying he was glad that we didnt leave him out. The kiddos know and can process so much more than we give them credit for 💜

    • @claireplauche7724
      @claireplauche7724 6 лет назад +4

      Going with Grace YAAAYY!

  • @gaianeoffredo936
    @gaianeoffredo936 6 лет назад +26

    please make more videos for this series!! as someone who has a phobia of death, i feel like this definitely helps!

  • @Madamchief
    @Madamchief 2 года назад +2

    This lady is the best humanity has to offer. I have no doubt that she has touched everyone in her life. I'm so glad she exists

  • @emilymarquez9363
    @emilymarquez9363 6 лет назад +80

    Her name is Alua Arthur ... there is a typo with her name! She’s an amazing woman doing amazing things and one of my best friends. If you want to find her and get in touch or learn more (I highly recommend it!) here is her fascinating website: www.goingwithgrace.com
    Beautiful video !

    • @elizabethharttley4073
      @elizabethharttley4073 5 лет назад

      Emily thank you for the link.
      I just discovered this being and i am enchanted.

  • @theend1199
    @theend1199 6 лет назад +29

    Alua beautiful name, beautiful woman, good job she does. Helping others transition on into the next level. Nice thought she helps people like the first family

  • @amyimogenimagine
    @amyimogenimagine 6 лет назад +15

    I’m honestly crying with emotion watching this - I think she has just defined everything that my life could co tribute to ... amazing, that one can be a “death doula”... a beautiful gift to the world to bring comfort and understanding about life and ourselves as human beings 💕 thank you for this video 🙏🏼

    • @refinery29
      @refinery29  6 лет назад +1

      +amy-imgentanzer Thanks for checking it out!

  • @emmaskylet1019
    @emmaskylet1019 6 лет назад +18

    Big respect the easiest way is to plan it simple and significant instead of sudden unplanned thing

  • @chloes5043
    @chloes5043 6 лет назад +18

    She has such a positive energy. You can see she really cares for what she does. This is inspiring!

  • @jelliebean770
    @jelliebean770 6 лет назад +4

    This really made me think about how my family has almost had to plan a funeral for me multiple times over the past couple years. I wasn’t scared of dying, I wasn’t scared of enteral nothingness, in fact I wanted there to be nothing so I didn’t have to feel emotion anymore. I was scared of how my family would cope and react. I felt like I would be unburdening them but deep down I knew they loved me and would be devastated. I was scared of my mom coming in and finding me dead, and how that would affect her. I knew she would blame herself. I was scared of my little brother seeing his best friend for the last time in a coffin, and not even being able to say goodbye.
    Having time to cope with a death and time to plan a funeral is an amazing and special thing. Having to plan a funeral in the spur of the moment is so hard on somebody. It can be so detrimental. The work this amazing woman is doing is so important. Not only is it helping to de-stigmatize death and everything connected to it, it’s helping families to process these extremely hard things.

  • @littlepinkbullets
    @littlepinkbullets 6 лет назад +34

    Ah this is actually amazing and so refreshing. Her outlook on life is everything I aspire to be xx

    • @GoingwithGrace
      @GoingwithGrace 6 лет назад

      Victoria Greenhalgh Thank you Victoria!! 💜

  • @3bree3
    @3bree3 5 лет назад +12

    I seen her on Caitlyn’s channel & instantly loved everything about her. Her enthusiasm & positivity around her career is so powerful.
    What an impactful & beautiful person. 💜

  • @nickkingofearth
    @nickkingofearth 6 лет назад +362

    Where can I get this job ☠️

  • @spacediof
    @spacediof 6 лет назад +104

    Wow I’ve heard of a birthing doula but not a death doula that’s so interesting.

  • @jauipop
    @jauipop 5 лет назад +3

    My father passed away last month and it made me realise how a service like this is so, so important. Death is a subject that needs to be talked about so that the people left behind will know what to do.

  • @misskrysmayhem
    @misskrysmayhem 3 года назад +12

    This was one of the most refreshing Videos YT has recommended to me in a while. This woman was sent to heal us!

  • @rogeramezquita5685
    @rogeramezquita5685 3 года назад +37

    This is actually very positive and the way we should see life and death

  • @LAVirgo67
    @LAVirgo67 6 лет назад +19

    Death is an odd event in ones life. We just never know when it's going to strike. Some of us may be blessed to live into old age & die peacefully in our beds, while others will be taken suddenly. Life is fragile. This is why we must live it & enjoy it. Make sure that when your day does come to leave this earth that you will have few regrets. Don't fret over what you cannot control. #LiveLife

  • @franziskaa838
    @franziskaa838 4 года назад +6

    I just rewatched this after two years and still get goosbumps becuase of her calming, humble and positive vibes she is spreading. Her words take the fear of death for me. Thank you so much Alua! Best regards from Europe!

  • @birdy5275
    @birdy5275 3 года назад +40

    She’s literally so pretty

  • @cloudsnleaves
    @cloudsnleaves 6 лет назад +50

    Thank you so much for this video! I clicked it on it expecting to feel uncomfortable, but instead this has changed my views on death -- to view it as something natural, welcome, celebratory.

    • @refinery29
      @refinery29  6 лет назад +4

      +elizabethheng That's amazing!

    • @GoingwithGrace
      @GoingwithGrace 6 лет назад

      It makes me so happy to hear this!!! Thank you for sharing that shift in perspective. It really is my life mission💜💜

    • @cloudsnleaves
      @cloudsnleaves 6 лет назад

      Thank you for doing the work that you do!!

  • @bettierusso5410
    @bettierusso5410 5 лет назад +5

    God bless you for this precious work you do. I am also ill, and am planning my death, but my family is really having trouble with it.I am an old Southern lady and we plan everything and give great parties! :) What you are doing is a true calling and a gift from God. I have spent my 30 yr adult career in Maternity Nursing and Miidwifery. You are right in your perception of what you do. You are a "Midwife" and it is a perfect analogy. I only wish there were more like you. Thank you on behalf of all the loved ones and family that you have helped and will help in the future...God is watching, and He is PROUD of you.

  • @moniquemarrie
    @moniquemarrie 2 года назад +1

    I’ve been volunteering as an advocate for the elderly for years. It even made me begin studying Psychology to be a grief/trauma counselor. But there was more I was being called to. And this is it. The ways she talks about the “job” and what can be offered was the finishing touch. I learned of her by design. And all blessings to her for what she does! 🙏🏾💛

  • @tondriasanders6306
    @tondriasanders6306 3 года назад +12

    Your work speaks to my heart and soul. If I didn’t know who you are, I never would have known that the work I am called to do has a name, words to describe it.
    I am at the beginning of my journey into learning and practicing, but it is beautiful and I am grateful to know this is one of the things I am meant to do. 💜🙏🏼🌺

  • @embracingyourlight5864
    @embracingyourlight5864 6 лет назад +14

    This incredibly woman is one of a kind! She is such a comforting soul for such important life (death) experiences. And she's fun and funny!!💖💖💖💖

  • @aaliyahembrack4725
    @aaliyahembrack4725 3 года назад +13

    This was so enlightening and wholesome...something I didn’t know I needed.

  • @backgroundcharacter2615
    @backgroundcharacter2615 3 года назад +10

    I like this lady. I ain’t scared of death and not being scared of death won’t make me live forever.

  • @ChefWife67
    @ChefWife67 5 лет назад +4

    Omg...God Bless her....need more people like this. I just took care of 3 family members for 2.5 years and lost them all within 4 months...my sister (57) April 19...2 weeks later (exactly-May 3) my father (84)....and my mother 80) August 23. I also lost my brother in 1990 (33). Having someone like this beautiful soul, would have helped so much....LIVE LIFE! ❤️🙏🏻

  • @nicolestark3316
    @nicolestark3316 6 лет назад +12

    Thank you refinery29 for these thoughtful and impactful pieces

  • @OstrichJocelyne
    @OstrichJocelyne 6 лет назад +13

    So many awesome women working in the death industry! I feel so happy just watching her, I can't imagine how she would be in person!

  • @TrippYLiLBunnY
    @TrippYLiLBunnY 6 лет назад +20

    Wow! Such a beautiful soul!!! We need more kind, humble people, to love and respect each other!! Great video... Made me tear up!🌹

    • @GoingwithGrace
      @GoingwithGrace 6 лет назад +1

      Ms Meow Awww thank you!!

    • @TrippYLiLBunnY
      @TrippYLiLBunnY 6 лет назад

      Going with Grace 🌹 ur very welcome sweetie! Thank you for all that you do, from you're heart! It does make a difference! Have a beautiful day!!

  • @pualemi23
    @pualemi23 6 лет назад +3

    Alua's presence, her energy is grounding. I could never put a finger on how I felt about the journey of death and dying. In fact, it was always an alienating subject to discuss among family and friends. This? This is it.

  • @jellygrl2800
    @jellygrl2800 6 лет назад +74

    I adore her.

  • @alyssabeth6177
    @alyssabeth6177 6 лет назад +7

    I like her way of thinking about death,it's rather soothing rather than being scared about it.
    She's also very beautiful (:

  • @aimee172
    @aimee172 3 года назад +2

    When I started watching, I was scared that I would feel worse throughout the day. But Alua's beautiful energy and spirit actually gave me like a feeling of warmth and safety. So I thank her!

  • @SlayerPrincess
    @SlayerPrincess Год назад +1

    Her kindness and compassion is so inspiring and heartwarming. It makes me glad to know there are people like her in this world who are motivated by love and compassion. ❤️

  • @shadowowner6485
    @shadowowner6485 6 лет назад +3

    WOW this woman warmed my heart so hard.. I teared a little at the end when she said with so much passion "Let us live, let us live" She is so beautiful!! And all those things she said... so true. Dead is part of life. Beautiful dresses by the way.

  • @skylacornett439
    @skylacornett439 3 года назад +4

    She is such a beautiful soul 🌸🌸🌸🌸 it brings tears to my eyes knowing this humanity is still alive!!

  • @leokai406
    @leokai406 3 года назад +1

    the best video example for , not every darkness is evil and not every light is good.this video is literally so wholesome,and she has a beautiful soul.❤️

  • @NaAisa
    @NaAisa 3 года назад +6

    This amazing women just gave me more life! Her strength, her beauty, her inspiration🙏🏾💫💫💫💫💫💫

  • @tjreid2517
    @tjreid2517 6 лет назад +140

    Thank you Refinery29
    I"ve got a positive thought on knowing one day i shall pass.
    Right now isn't my time, i say this do to my brothers having passed . My mother lost her son Bill my father his son Kim..
    Im the baby my passing would crush my parents and my daughters.. Until my time ..
    Thank you for an introduction to Aulua Arthur..

    • @GoingwithGrace
      @GoingwithGrace 6 лет назад +2

      Tanja Petties I’m sorry to hear you’ve experienced so much loss. Big love your way 💜 And thank you for watching!!

    • @tjreid2517
      @tjreid2517 6 лет назад +2

      Going with Grace
      Thank you for your concern
      It"s greatly appreciated
      A well learned broadcast
      ✌ Tanja✌

    • @refinery29
      @refinery29  6 лет назад

      +tanjapetties

    • @tjreid2517
      @tjreid2517 6 лет назад +1

      Refinery29
      You"re welcome Refinery29
      This is the #NewsBroadcast
      As a people that should not just circulate on Social Media all media outlets. I never would have known a person could come to the privacy of your home to give mental emotional comfort .. Im beyond happy to have come across your RUclips Channel
      Thank you Tanja✌

    • @bodyofhope
      @bodyofhope 6 лет назад

      Tanja Petties You are very loved 💛

  • @citlalilemus9213
    @citlalilemus9213 4 года назад +3

    this honestly gave me more peace with the fact that one day i’ll die, shes such a beautiful person and made me feel so comforted i’m so relaxed and happy right now omg

  • @universaljustice7376
    @universaljustice7376 2 года назад

    The levels of maturity and compassion in this field, thanks for helping people to live and love the facts of life and death.

  • @PolkaDotDatPickle
    @PolkaDotDatPickle 5 лет назад

    I’m currently staying with family discussing these things regarding my mom.
    It’s a refreshing take on the concept of death. I suddenly have some new questions for my mom before time is up.
    I needed this. Thanks for what you do, Alua. 💜

  • @AllisonT111
    @AllisonT111 6 лет назад +20

    Wow what a beautiful spirit you are Aula! What a blessing you must be to many people! Really interesting video and also eye opening! ~light & love

    • @GoingwithGrace
      @GoingwithGrace 6 лет назад +1

      Allison Talley Why thank you Allison!! 💜💜

  • @shyneema42
    @shyneema42 3 года назад +9

    This is actually nice. So many don't wanna even talk about this topic.

  • @gbharan265
    @gbharan265 3 года назад +1

    Such a beautiful soul. Her aura of love and compassion and healing shines through even from the video.
    She is the real deal. I am the caretaker for my mom who is my best friend and guide and mentor currently going through her last stages of a terminal illness and I can relate so much. Alua if you ever get to read this, god bless you and the work you do, sending across love and hugs and light.

  • @evrydaykris
    @evrydaykris 3 года назад +2

    her locs are SO BEAUTIFUL OMG. she's also so beautiful and intelligent. I love her work. she is so needed!

  • @dudummeti3450
    @dudummeti3450 3 года назад +20

    This is strange but after the day I’ve had, this made me feel happier…for some odd but pleasant reason
    You’re contagious

  • @tandrewtate5781
    @tandrewtate5781 3 года назад +3

    As someone who needed to choose palliative care to let my 5 day old son go, de-stigmatizing the discussion of death is so important. Our doctors tiptoed around saying “your son may die” instead used a lot of phrases like “not doing well”. This is unrealistic and allowed us the hope he would improve when they really meant “will not make it”. Thank you for this video

  • @lisachayra01
    @lisachayra01 3 года назад

    Love this video, this philosophy and her! My father died this last February and I was able to be here for him as he made his passage to the other side. We talked about death and honored this sacred event. Thank you so much for your service to others!

  • @hannahhorehlad3802
    @hannahhorehlad3802 3 года назад +1

    Your work is SO IMPORTANT!!! There's so much comfort in knowing what will happen to your family after your death. It makes it less stressful especially to those grieving that won't need to plan everything because the deceased planned for all this. That is what I would want.

  • @IndraBahiaMusic
    @IndraBahiaMusic 3 года назад +25

    OMK, what a sweetie you are, sister!!! Here in Germany we have “Last Aid” courses (in contrast to first aid) where it’s all about dying. It’s cool, humbling and sooo important. I was in a hospice choir too. We need more of that awareness and people like you! Your funeral... lol, I hope we get to meet before that 🙏🏻🌸💋💋💋💋

    • @rachelbrown3766
      @rachelbrown3766 3 года назад

      Where will you spend Eternity?
      John 3:36, ESV: "Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whoever does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him."
      John 11:25-26: Jesus said to her, *“I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in Me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?”*
      1 John 5: 10-13
      *"Whoever believes in the Son of God accepts this testimony. Whoever does not believe God has made him out to be a liar, because they have not believed the testimony God has given about his Son. And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life. I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life."*

  • @GretaLunaPriego
    @GretaLunaPriego 6 лет назад +7

    This was so beautiful 😍 I’m about to go into work and I’m bawling.

  • @1o1s1s1i1e
    @1o1s1s1i1e 5 лет назад +2

    Fantastic! My wife spent the last few months with her sister as her body declined from ALS, and we've both cared for our parents and aunt's and uncle's in their final days. That has helped us to make sure we have put in place all the legal documents so anyone taking care of us know our wishes.

  • @aliorstrom7790
    @aliorstrom7790 5 лет назад

    What a wonderful, strong, and empowering woman!! So full of love and hope! What she said about her not wanting people to suffer alone is so noble. 💖