Masking ADHD Symptoms | ADHDsurprise | ADHD Resources
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- Опубликовано: 16 июн 2024
- What is ADHD masking? How do we mask our ADHD symptoms? Why is it important to recognize when we are doing it? In this video I try to answer of all of these questions.
Welcome back to ADHDsurprise where I try to share my ADHD story and help provide resources and supports to others on their ADHD journey!
A related blog post about masking my own symptoms:
adhdsurprise.com/2020/03/05/h...
Special thanks to Pina @ADHD_Alien for giving permission to use some of her amazing artwork related to masking. / adhd_alien
All my links: linktr.ee/ADHDsurprise
#ADHD #Masking
What are other ways you have found yourself or others masking ADHD symptoms?
So my ADHD single mom raised me and I think she inadvertedly tried teaching me all the ways that *she* masked and coped throughout life. However, I'm inattentive and she's (hella) not, also boomer vs millenial, and just ultimately we are different people so there's been some clashes. She tends to lie a lot "to make others feel better" and damage control, but I refuse to lie so much. However, I did end up indirectly learning "must not make anyone uncomfortable ever". I absolutely hate making people wait, and I have felt annoying over my excitability. Overall I try to be a very agreeable person (which often leads to putting myself last).
I also over-organize. Bc of all the unfinished projects in my life, I have now focused too much on the organizing aspect that now I'm constantly stuck on it. :-/
Going to therapy so here's to hoping. Thank you for making this video!
@@Ghost-lt4sf 1 year update? how ya doing Yeidi? Still masking or comfortable in your own skin?
Just plain not inviting anyone over to my house when I'm stressed because it's so chaotic, something I was raised to be ashamed of, and completely the opposite of how I appear on the outside because I was given that "high functioning" label and therefore spent a lot of my life masking and pretending things were okay.
i got diagnosed with ADHD almost a year ago, which means i've been undiagnosed all throughout childhood and my early teen years. i remember being a young kid and displaying a lot of ADHD behaviors, but i got told that i was "annoying" and "too much" so i started masking. this has carried on into my current life, and i'm trying to learn how to stop. i also mask my stims a lot, even when i'm not around people because i'm terrified of people being mean to me about it. this video really helped me learn more about masking and i appreciate it a lot!!!
vinn ! Thanks so much for sharing your experience. I'm glad this video helped! I was just connecting with a new doctor today about continuing treatment and had to fill out a survey regarding symptoms--yet another time it was important to be able to recognize when I was masking and when I wasn't.
thank you for sharing. seriously its very easy to feel alone. the amount of times I have been called stupid or ditzy by teachers/classmates/employers really was debilitating for a long period of my life.
As an ADHD person, to be alone in my own space means I'm safe n free more so than being around other people that's mean and judgmental and not so understanding enough to take me seriously
Omg obsessively checking my keys... one month i locked my keys in my car THREE TIMES it was rough and now i have to make sure i see my keys before i lock my door because i dont trust myself lol
Having ADHD is so tough! I often turn people off and rub people the wrong way by interrupting or being too blunt. I often mask and second guess what I'm going to say out of fear of saying something stupid. Definitely a difficult thing to deal with.
I just realised that I'm masking the urge to interrupt people by becoming very quite in social gatherings, second guessing what I say is def part of that too
I'm 28, undiagnosed, but adhd runs in my family and I'm pretty sure I have it. This video showed me so many things I've been doing for so long, and at times have caused me to doubt if I do have it. But I realize I've just learned to mask relatively well.
Me a few years ago “I dont have ADHD. Im always half and hour to an hour early. Im never late”
Time blindness? no wonder they always come 1 hour earlier or completely forgot about it :)
I'm currently trying to explain to my mom that I think I have ADHD. I look back on my childhood and see so many signs but then think was this something someone could see from the outside. Well some people could see some signs not enough people saw enough signs to put it together. Plus most of my symptoms are things people don't know are symptoms of ADHD.
just don’t think about it
@@lecisteim_1945 Don't think about what? None of this bothered me to think about.
@@caoilfhionn946 don’t think about whether you might have ADHD, especially if it your ‘symptoms’ don’t bother you.
@@lecisteim_1945 But my symptoms do bother me. I have struggled my entire life. Constantly being told I was lazy or wasting my potential. In truth I was working my ass off I just to keep up with everyone else, just for my family to not see how hard I was working. Just because I was functional does not mean I was not struggling just to be that.
When I got diagnosed, I asked my mom for past report cards (Thankfully, my parents are VERY good about record keeping). There was always the same cycle. First semester was bad, and had notes about how "doesn't seem to live up to potential". "Keeps forgetting the assignment", "Struggles to finish work in class", "Just needs to focus a little more". Then my parents would implement changes that would help me manage (which were forgotten the subsequent summer, lol).
I feel as if i've been pretending to be someone else my whole life to fit into the neurotypical format of "being a normal human". Having never had any education past my diagnosis on what ADHD meant for me I didn't even know what I called "filtering" was actually masking! Thank you for putting this together, it has been really helpful and good to hear.
finally, someone understood the importance of descriptive text and images for informational videos. thanks for the extra effort.
When you get distracted and search other video while watching a video on adhd
I thought it was called overcompensating, but YES.
I've been saying overcorrecting but I think it's the same idea.
My primary physician screened me for adhd when I mentioned my executive dysfunction but I told him about my coping mechanisms and he mentioned that since I’m coping well I probably shouldn’t get on medication since I have high blood pressure. Like the question “do you have trouble getting started?” I said yes, definitely. So I keep a stack of blank sheets of paper nearby and if I can’t get started then I start a new page and write down what I’m trying to do, then I write the first thing I need to do todo that, and then I write the first step to do that substep, and so on breaking down the first part of the first part of the first part until I have something I can actually do.
I always considered that I was over correcting my behaviour from resulting in stress and anxiety but never realized it could be masking.
Thank you for talking about this! I have watched a lot of ADHD videos, but haven't found a video that talks about this in detail until I explicitly searched for "masking ADHD" and found yours! You were talking about many points that I also thought about and that's reassuring. :)
The whole adhd topic makes me going crazy the last days. My psychiatrist said that I really could have it likle she was 95% sure but I have to take a test and all I could think about the last week was only this whole topic and if I have it, will something change or not... Will I feel always the same like since ever or will it change.. Now I found this video and I've just seen how I'm doing all this stuff the whole time and feeling permanently exhausted bc I try so hard to be like everyone else ''normal''. I always thought everbody feels the same. (Calender checking nonstop, noting every small thing bc otherwise I will forget it and then forget I did a note etc. and I'm so obsessiv with this all things just to ''function'' like all other humans. Like my brain has no chill, neverever) I don't know how to wait the next to days till I can make the test and get an answer. I just need to understand myself, it's so frustrating. And I think this video is very informative and you did a really great job
100% agree with the overthinking thing! I've been watching ADHD videos all week and am pretty sure I have it, although I haven't gotten a diagnosis yet!
@@klarissasimpson4024 i hope that you will find soon clarity. I went to a psychiatrist and it helped me a lot to understand myself more. If it’s an option and you have a chance to visit a psychiatrist, please do it for yourself and you mind will get a little peace till your ready to learn more about adhd in your own situation. Wish you all the best 💖
@@sanytsuki yes, although it's pretty expensive in NZ to go private (and our public health system is full capacity esp. for mental health ATM) - I managed to get an assessment with a clinical psychologist! However now I have go wait for her to issue the report & also for my psychiatrist appointment to come around 😬😬 I'm pretty sure I now follow every ADHD RUclipsr/educator there is to try and understand it more while I wait 🤔 I hope everything is going good for you!!
Lying to hide my struggles has ended up spiraling me down so much…it’s horrible.
This
I just got diagnosed at 34 years old. I feel so upset that my entire early life was wasted masking and struggling in silence
This video has validated my feelings so much. I’m sobbing watching this. Thank you, so, so much
I had to watch this on 1.5 speed just to stay focused great video though
Oh my god! This is amazing. I was sitting on the edge of my seat for half the video, waiting for his next sentence because of how slow he was speaking. I changed it to 1.5x. Apparently, 1.5x is the speed my brain works, and I didn't even know it. Thank you.
Haha same!!!
I havent been able to get screened yet but I can relate to some of these a lot. Especially at work, whenever I go to work I hold my emotions in and then have a breakdown the moment I get home, every, single, time. Everything keeps getting lost, and while I used to check very frequently everything was still with me, I'm just so tired now and my whole system of existing is falling apart. I used to do well in school but now I cant keep up, I can't even focus nowadays and now I have a lot of overdue BS. I don't have many of the hyperactive or impulsive symptoms except stimming and a few others, so Im not sure, but something is definitely off beyond just anxiety.
Before my diagnosis at 29, I really hated myself but what I hated was how I masked.
I remember being 13 and was told by 1 of my friends "omg when you talk you can't stand still and move around alot". I started forcing myself to not move around but all that pent up energy caused me o develop anxiety.
i know im not diagnosed, but i think i have it too, specifically inattentive type. ive been told more than once that i looked dazed.
when i was a kid or teen, my mom would scold me for making mistakes, so would my bro. so in turn, i became doubtful in things i do. i never got rid of it.
i mask and filter myself outside constantly. in my safe space, i speak eng n cuss big time but outside, i dont coz ppl would think im arrogant, feeling like a know it all (i got called out once at college when someone saw my comment in fb, he was shocked i could talk like that, and he kind of teased me for it.). also cussing to ppl is simply rude.
for almost 30 yrs of my life, ive learned that if you dont have anything good to say or do, just shut up, let things flow. i live it whenever im with company, hence i feel dazed in social sit.
(sorry bout the long post, had to vent a lil. had just been to an ent doctor, and he called me out for being "special". that definitely surprised me.)
I'm undiagnosed at 30, and I saw a psychiatrist last November. I think I really unintentionally downplayed A LOT of my symptoms, especially in childhood. And that led her to misdiagnose my with depression and anxiety. A prime example for me is the "phone, keys, wallet" thing. I ALWAYS know where they are, like obsessively. I never realized that I've just been masking my forgetfulness. Any,I started keeping a looong list of adhd impacts and symptoms starting from childhood. I have a second opinion appointment in April, and I'm going to read off that list and go into detail about my experience. I hope it's enough to be believed this time.
Thank you for this video - it is incredibly helpful. I'm having a very flat day due to a whole week of constantly masking.
Also I liked how you highlighted why people with ADHD develop obsessive behaviours which can ultimately mask a diagnosis! Little do people realise how constantly we check our email accounts, calendars, apps each multiple times every half hour.
Thank you so much for charging this! I am 32 and currently on my journey to get a diagnosis. It's a pretty hard way for me. so often I get this imposter feeling, because I played the masking game all my life. Right now I am in a kind of burn out / depression situation. I am realizing I can't hold back my inner self anymore. This is a pretty damn much painful experience but I know I'm going to get my answers soon. Hopefully I can create a better life for me. So thanks again, this video shows me I'm not the only one feeling like that ❤
I'm watching this because my daughter has huge meltdowns sometimes which build up from tiny pointless things & we think she has autism or adhd...time blindness is SOOOO relevant. I constantly struggle to get her to school on time & she has no concept of time. We got her sand timers so she can visibly see what time she has & also school have said it's ok for her to be late.
Thanks for the video. We realize we are not alone in this world.
Thank you
this was so well explained and informative, thanks so much for taking the time to do this and share it!!!
Wow this was so important! Thanks for this 💕
Thank you so much for this!
This cuts real deep. Thanks for sharing your vulnerable moments.
This was really helpful to help me understand how this shows up for me. Thank you!
I was recognized as the "Loudest" guy in class for our year book. So they took a picture of me next to the "Loudest" girl in class permanently in everyone's year book. That really hit me hard. The girl was all laughing and cool with that title I felt like crap for being voted that and never aimed to be.
I don't think ADHD over all is a plus or special gift. In some aspects it is but overall I would definitely trade it if I could.
Thank you very much for this video. It is very interesting to hear about how people mask their ADHD symptoms. OMG how true and how important to know. Thank you again.
It’s crazy though, the masking (especially when it comes to creating systems) has made me very beneficial in corporate America. There’s struggles sometimes with speaking up in crowds because I’m keen to how things might play out. One of the toughest struggles I found was being in an entry level position because of the way I function. Self awareness has been by far the best thing to help me overcome certain challenge but also allow me to be vulnerable and state that. Thanks for sharing your experience!
You seam like a really nice guy! Wish you the best
thanks it helped a lot and you explained it very well with that presentation
This puts things into perspective as a parent. Wow! Thanks for sharing. This video really helps me understand what he's going through.
This is the first masking video that actually clicked for me. Thank you thank you🥹
Thank you for doing this :)
Great work 👏
I got distracted and forgot I was watching this video hahaha
This explains a lot, thanks.
Same this reminded me lol
This is so helpful thank you
nothing hurts more than having to pretend your neurotypical like this happened the other day
ableist chick: did you hear about kellie?
me: no
ableist chick: she takes pills because she’s hyper. i saw her in the nurses office earlier
me: oh she probably has adhd
ableist chick: yeah! that’s why shes an idiot
me: she’s really smart actually
ableist chick: she’s always asking stupid questions that the teacher already said like “are we gonna get a grade on this” ofc what else did she think. if i had adhd i’d put myself in a mental asylum
me: yeah i guess
bruh i’m glad i was blessed with good impulse control or i would’ve lost my cool and punched her face in lmao
I lol'd
Hello! Great video! I related so much! For the example of how you use a google calendar to keep track of work days and locations/ times, in what ways would that be unhealthy or detrimental? I am asking because it seems helpful to always have a visual to refer to if need be.
off topic but i just ate star burst with collie flower at the same time
Yesssss!
How was it?
It's very unfortunate how you can't spell cauliflower. Doesn't your phone have autocorrect?
Some of these compensatory techniques are actually helpful to the person whilst others are less so and require mental bandwidth and erasure of the self.
im a 13 year old girl and i feel like i may have ADHD but im like 90% sure i dont have it, i just like i may because i relate to ADHD Symptoms, does this make since? i've been told i dont make since.
Hey! I think you should watch this video: ruclips.net/video/bPqb9qoGTRI/видео.html
And see if this sounds like you. If it makes you think you have ADHD, talk to your parents or school counselor about it to see whether you can be evaluated for it.
Try to read(or your parent) the book: Driven to Distraction by Dr. Edward Hallowell, this will give a wealth of information about the condition and how it looks on various people.
Best of luck kiddo :)
Great video
OMG my daughter lies about things like brushing her teeth, even if you've been in the same room and left for 20 seconds she'll claim she's cleaned them in that time & will defend that lie until she gets very angry or upset. I never thought of it like this, she does have sensory issues about teeth cleaning.
My brain watching this: oh it’s 15 minutes I’ll set the speed to 2x
Ok I’m missing things let’s bring it back down to 1.5x. Much better.
Ok now that resonates... yes, taking days off work and burning out, lying to cover for it repetitively, clocking out early so my boss won’t know I take an additional 2-3 hours to do paperwork that my coworkers finish in 30 minutes... check ✅
Oh the only thing I don’t think I have is this “time blindness”..
Wait, it’s 1:26 am.... and I thought it was about 10:30pm.. so I’ve been reading about masking and ADHD for 3 hours with no awareness of the passing of time...
So yeah.
>^..^
Ugh i relate!!! I’m constantly clocking out early so my bosses don’t know I take longer ☹️
Oh my. I didn't realize this was a thing. Wow thanks. Uh. I've got some work to do.
Some of these seem like good coping skills as long as they aren't done obsessively...imo
the fact is that adhd makes it an anxious experience every time at least for me I'm undergrad in my fourth year but it overwhelms me almost every time at least a bit to do normal routine tasks before and during taking off to classes and during classes and after them also, I've grown to not notice it with time since I was like this ever since parents stopped controling my schedule, but I feel tired constantly even though from the outside I look to be doing low to medium intensity tasks
just because throughout the day I consciously check the location of my phone like 30-40 times, and of any other needed or valuable possession of mine. Also poor object permanence and being easily distracted means I drift off often during everyday tasks and forget completely about the task I was doing because I'm in another place already, and later on I get reminded of the unfinished task by a left out object related to that task and it frustrates the shit out of me. I'm unmedicated and don't have access to diagnostics and necessary drugs where I live so this happens like every other day for several times a day and making a list or planning ahead doesn't do it for me only making myself so anxious that I start to perform like other people do makes it for me and I wouldn't say it's obsessive it's just out of my control I can't make myself the other way
So good you don't get diagnosed
Hi, I was diagnosed with ADHD at 26 (the therapist was surprised at how long it took because my symptoms are just textbook and very very visible and always have been). This is an honest question: how are the examples given of masking different from necessary adaptation to survive in the world? (as in the not losing things, working hard not to be late, etc). Is the anxiety the difference? I just still don't really understand the difference and really do want to (that's how I got to this video hahaha)
Good question :) From what I understand, masking is any behavior compensating for *inherent* shortcomings (id est, ADHD) to appear functional or within social bounds.
The disparity lies in the fact that a neurotypical just as you must adapt to survive but has no difficulty doing so, whilst those not endowed with an NT brain lack the ability to do so effectively, which leads to masking, that serves as partial solutions because consequential issues eventually arise; co-morbidities in the case of ADHD: anxiety, depression(or dysthymia) being the most common.
I hope this elucidated it!
@@jomana1109 Thank you! It really does help a lot. I honestly just always figured that these things are hard for everyone, but people tend to hide these struggles.
@@rosanatoro8877 I feel the same way haha :) It’s as if a prepartum union occurred outlining the rules and game plan for life whilst excluding us, so we’re left wandering instruction-less, doing it all wrong lol.
Anyway, I hope your journey to self-discovery holds a raft of good surprises!
I didn't know the rules, no one told why are they unspoken ,social norms & cues are really hard to follow
Question to the people who take meds
Did you stop losing things, did u stop losing time ??
This is the confusing thing. I think I attributed it all to medication but I had been on meds before and still had the same struggles but I guess I started masking and became obsessed over these things when it caused a lot of distress. I think the meds just make it easier to organize my thoughts so I can accomplish those things. I am more mindful where I put my stuff now. I am more aware of deadlines and time in general is easier to notice.
Thanks for your very informative video, really helpful, this is the first video I've seen from a male ADHD perspective. I constantly asked his things about myself. I'm getting better thanks to the grace and mercy of the Lord jesus, Yeshua Hamashya chief physician praise you God for your long suffering to a sinner like me
Is masking just coping with negative impact on self but benefits society? I was diagnosed at 12 with adhd dyslexia Disgraphia and I thought for a very long time I didn't mask but then I saw someone with autism described how they mimicked and copied other people and rehearsal covsations to learn social rules and offen would apply them badly. I realize that's me. I am 20 and My hobbies I don't like, the conversation I have aren't my opinions and I Parrot Idioms and memes without knowing their source or context. I was severely bullied for kindergarten to 6th grade and all that Time I tried hard to mask but sucked so badly at it. Got me in to more trouble trying to not be hurt. To the point I lost my self. Guess that's the long term impact. I Juggle so may different mass to the point where if I have 2 friends that have never met before I don't know what role to play because I've acted completely different with each of them.
Bro got the whole package
I clicked this video and I got advertised a therapy thing
Who watched this on 2x speed no problem? Lolol
I think I was lucky that I never masked o-o
Good video, but way too lengthy for an ADHD audience.
can you talk a little bit faster
I just speed the video up to 1.5x :>
How you make a 15 minute video about ADHD? You really don't want me to watch this