I make a “do not list” to handle delayed gratification things. I also make a “what-if” list to handle extenuating circumstances. Waking up late, getting sick, etc
The marshmallow experiment can just show that some children have experience of adults not keeping their promises. And / or have a chaotic unpredictable home life or maybe not enough food at home to go around. So for them it makes sense to take the marshmallow.
Probably nobody checked whether the children liked marshmallows the same. If a child does not really like marshmallows and only pretends to like them to please the researcher, of course the child will suceed in not eating it for longer or not at all.
I’ve delayed gratification to the point of depression. Deny myself basic human desires/amenities. Don’t reward myself at all. Where’s the science behind that
If you're not living a tolerable life, why deny yourself little pleasures? I'm not sure what you're specifically delaying, but if that is what's driving you to chronic stress or depression then you should probably find ways to indulge in self-care. You're not alive when you're not living, after-all
@@RodderickPrinceParker why dont you remind yourself that ur doing the very thing the top 1% do i think you should change your perspective also anpother factor could be athiesm as athiesm seems to be promoting nilhism , the belief that nothing matters , and plain nilhism
The bit about building an association between pleasure and unpleasant tasks is 💯 I used to hate doing chores, but now I use that time to listen to audiobooks and podcasts, and now every weekend I'm looking for mindless tasks to do so I can listen to a podcast or audiobook
Seeing such videos is uplifting. I am an 'old-school' 22 yo who doesn't do social media and no drugs. 'I suck'. Such videos make me confident that I'm on the right track
@@ege8240wow dude. What’re you doing on a channel like this? While from a broad perspective right and wrong might be subjective, they still exist. And you’re definitely wrong about no reward for staying away from drugs. There is a clear reward there. So you’re essentially wrong and being an egotistical asshole about it. Also this channel is far from the negative effects found on “social media”. You’re clearly living a shitty life and want others to do so as well. We won’t though. Humphrey you’re doing the right thing for you bro and good on you. Do you do you don’t end up like this clown
@@ege8240 there is a social media and social media,you cant really put people that spend half of their days on twitter/instagram/tiktok with the people that watch one or two hours of content videos a day in the same basket,its literarlly not the same thing.Just go talk with a person that watches 2-3-4 hours of tiktok a day and with a person that watches 1-2 hours of youtube a day and even within a 15 minute talk you can see the difference between.
As a professional poker player I can only agree with this: immediate results don't matter, good decisions do. You will see the benefits in the long run. Also keep in mind that that marshmallow looks different to everybody as we all have different weaknesses and cravings. Self-reflection and searching for the marshmallows in relation to your personal goals will definitely push you forward!
I've stopped indulging in instant gratification unless it comes from my work. I've been doing it for almost a month, and when I look back at the old habits I used to have, such as uncontrollably playing video games or spending my time with my instant-gratification-chasing friends, it makes me feel relieved and thankful for what I've done throughout the month. 2023 has been an amazing year for me, and this month alone made this year the best year of my life. With my strong mindset, 2024 will definitely be 12 times better. (12 months is better than 1)
Man.... Trust me, this video actually helped me a lot. I needed to know this. You came back just when I needed you! 🎉 Thank you so much for helping us all through your channel. 💙✨
So if I understand it right, I first need to look at a marshmallow for 15 minutes then eat two and I end up successful? Damn that's easy. Thanks for the info
Yes, the marshmallow experiment was flawed as it didn't correct for socioeconomic background. I even read that when corrected for it, it didn't show any results at all. I tested my impatient child when he was 4 and he passed with flying colours, which I never expected. It's because there was no shortage of sweets in life, from his perspective, and he could easily wait for the second one, because neither the first nor the second one matter. I grew up poor and we had little food and no sweets. If you had gave it to me, it would have been gone before you had a chance to explain how it works. Still, here I am, living a dream and raising my child how to be happy and relaxed in life, not successful.
That's why I included the second experiment as well. Background, environment, socio-economic status and past experiences, all can have an affect on the results. It has to be noted that delayed gratification is just a piece of the puzzle and not the whole picture. But it shouldn't be dismissed. Also, as you pointed out, success is different for each person 😁
@@BetterThanYesterday I agree on what Luka said. The correlation between delay gratification and success is still not clear yet. As an adult, people delay gratification is often have a bigger motivation other than instant gratification. Therefore, instead of emphasizing delay gratification and make people feel hesitating to what they love, I think we should advocate people to do things that could bring happiness to themselves. I think this is the key point.
First of all ... How much does the child like marshmallows? Tastes are different. Did the child eat before? Does the child have brothers and sisters and has to fight at home for marshmallows? Does the child have experienced deception from adults?
I love this video! Im not arguing just discussing it further! 🙂 you could also get a result where a kid choose to eat 1 now becasuse the waiting time is boring and a sweet might cheer it up during a boring time more than later when the kid gets to do fun stuff again. Like 1 good thing now "while life is hard, just in the sweets situation, might give more value then, than two later on. Today you also might know that you can have another 3,5 or 7 sweets later that day whatever you choose now. Just thoughts! The main takeaway from the video, as I choose to see it, is that its good to be mindful, frugal, smart and also reliable so it has great value for me as a reminder of making good choises.
@@xiaozhewang7226I think the tests for delayed gratification should include people older like in their early 20s. If you put $10 on the table and said they could keep it or get another $10 if they wait, most would probably wait...unless they are either hard of hearing or just don't listen.
Thank you for such a well produced video on a topic I needed to hear. It's just about 2024 and I'm in the process of laying out some New Year's resolutions. This video will definitely be an influence!
Now I want to ask a question that seems to me fundamental: why do I want to be in the "top 1%"? Since I was a child I have read biographies and I have found a pattern in people who are in the "top 1%": many have been unhappy and did not hide it because of ideas they expressed in life (Tesla, Newton, Einstein, Carothers, Ampère, etc.), while others have been unhappy but tried desperately to prove that they were happy, surely to try to justify to themselves all the cost they had to pay to reach the "top 1%" (here I could give examples of living people, but some might interpret this as slander). If we separate humanity into groups of 100 people and take a group where you are, if you want to be in the "top 1%", you will have to make more sacrifices than the remaining 99 people, which will not necessarily make you happy in the long run (especially if you think that money will make you happy).
Most have mistaken living a fulfilling life with being the 1% of most popular/rich people. It's fulfillment people desire, which doesn't need to be something outrages
It doesn't matter whether or not you are happy. Being successful will greatly improve other people's quality of life. If Einstein or Tesla took the lazy path, the world would be a lot worse, even if they personally would be happier. It's selfish. The same applies to you and me. Don't take the lazy path.
the marshmellow test is so wacked. The people that put their kids in science experiement are either wealthier scicence nerds themesleves or people that need the money. Kids who grew up in homes that needed money probably suffered from food scarcity, or knowing that things don't last if you don't take them now. It's a hard way to judge.
Really good video. Wow. I grew up with a single mother that made a lot of promises that she never came through on. She underestimated the damage that would cause. Thanks for making this one!
Maybe I'm wrong about what you said but Don't dwelve too much into your past and try to forgive her for her liabilities. Forgiveness sets you free and you can move on easier.
@@ST-kp4qu Eh, yea sure. She’s just not well. Some type of BPD. It’s kinda in their nature. She won’t get help. Many people have told her to get help. I apologize if I am so cavalier about this. It’s just that whenever anyone tells me to forgive, it makes me cringe. It just is what it is. I don’t need some lame pow-wow around a campfire to cry and forgive my mom. There was a time when I dealt with all that. I appreciate the concern though. My original comment was not intended to show any type of animosity towards my mother. Simply saying the damaged caused by her still messes my life up today. It’s great! Every day I find out new and wonderful ways that she screwed me and my siblings. lol It’s funny, if I bring anything up that is negative about her, she denies it. We grew up sleeping on the floor in crack dens, dude. She got that selective memory. She still calls herself the most unselfish person she knows. Most of her decisions were for herself in some way. It’s truly fascinating really. She did the best she could with the mental capacity given to her. That’s all I can say I suppose.
I understand. Some mental illness do alter consciousness and therefore pople like that do not realize the way they are, since they lack consciousness (in a way). When I say forgive her, it doesn't mean to forget. Forgive is a very simple word but it is extremely complicated. to integrate. Forgiving means to let go of the feelings that hold you and spiral you down. It took me many years to understand it. "Forgive them because they do not know" is extremely profound but true. (I'm not a religious person). Though, spirituality is a power you grant yourself over your soul and feelings and it is associated with a higher state of consciousness it makes you an observer of your own feelings. It takes time, to modify oneself. You being aware of everything she did to you and/or your siblings makes you conscious, but that state of mind must be followed by something deeper (I say must because otherwise it's holding you down).I always try acknowledge my feelings (and therefore the past associated) and ask myself : Ok what about it now and what about my future? What's next? What do I do from it and how? Apologies if my english isn't extremely precise. wish you the best.@@benbenben123ben
I have to admit I was really strong before. After having some drama in my life I gained over 30kg fat. Two weeks ago, I ate about 3 chocolate bars a day. Hope that watching your videos make me loose some weight and start all over again. Your method shall be tested. I must succeed!
I used to eat chocolate bars too. But I think indulgences are a coping mechanism. I had personal issues going on that needed looking into with a therapist. I think emotions impact us far more than we realize. Chocolate does have mood enhancing properties but is unsustainable because it can lead to exacerbated mood imbalances and dependency.
Thank you for making good videos, you're one of the only youtuber that's actually talking about useful things and not trying to play on people's weaknesses
Glad to see you back I really like your content and you've inspired me alot thank you. Please could you do a video breaking down the process you follow to make this awesome videos step by steps from idea, research, scripting etc. It will be really cool to have a video like that
My vision of success is based on three words - progresively, constantliy, consequitively. This video is evidence that there is more than finding your rhytm. Thank you very much for the upload!
The writer George Orwell made a related observation. He said when people have difficult lives they often make short term decisions to get them emotionally through the next 15 minutes that are often really bad for them long term when repeated regularly. Eg having an ice cream, a beer, a cigarette.. I think it was partly an observation mostly about how working class people dont tend to eat healthy less appetising food. I forget the name of the essay or book.
This is so SPOT ON! Like many viewers mentioned that the marshmallow experiment has flaws, I agree that delayed gratification is very benficial for our wellness. In this modern world of temptations, ease, comforts, access to information(lots of it "misinformation"), and choices it's a constant battles to fight our impulses to avoid suffering. Giving in to thoses impulses has led us in to a society of many unfulfilled people. Through my "awareness" of this phenomena, I try and delay gratification as much as possible with my crude mantra of "earn my shit"! Whether it be "earn my carbs"(If I want pizza that night then I make sure that I have had quite a bit of movement that day), "earn my time on social media"(I will do some yard work or clean the bathroom). I am by no means perfect and do give in to impulses(Like my wife just made brownies and I can't resist them hot out of the oven! Damn her!), but I do try and follow that lifestyle of "Earn my shit" ! I am self made and created my wealth and contentedness!
I began learning flute and music last year. I work almodt everyday at least 40 minutes playing scales and all. That's instant and delayed gratification. I am truly impressed by all the progress I made starting from zero and look forward to being even more impressed in a near future... 😊🎼🎶
I think it should be said that the marshmallow study didn't account for socio-economic status. It's a lot easier to withhold gratification when a marshmallow is a nice little treat whereas to others it's sustenance; a scare resource for them.
it was a very informative video... but I know this channel for a long time now and came back to watch it today and noticed that the narrator's pronunciation got MUCH better. This is maybe a small think goes unnoticed but, its a HUGE improvement and makes the channel even more empowering to know, you DO get better day by day--- Thank you and keep it up! :)
The mashmellow test turned to have a wrong basics. The kids from poor family ( where the parents could not provide sweets to kids) turned out to be the ones that didn't resist the mashmellow. Which makes sense, that later in life, the same poor parents could not support kids school/career.
I would love it if you'd do a video on the 3-bite rule. There's a science behind it, but I can't find any videos that go into that. Your videos are very engaging and I've learned a lot from them, I also love to share them with my clients.
growing up with adhd and not being able to access medication most out of finance and fear that ill become reliant on it and what would happen in worse finance situation. (just not viable when your poor yo) you mention self negotiation and thats kinda interesting in that thats sort of how i view myself nowadays. its really helpful to view yourself as if you are two or multiple entities in your head than one. not like schizo or multiple personalities. more like conflicting interests and conflicting attentions. which is probably because of my adhd somewhat. but in any case doing this allows me to attempt to deconstruct myself, find my flaws, habits, etc. sometimes i find there are weird uses for some flaws and habits. like i find i learn and absorb more audio information when im drawing. so i always draw and listen to lectures. if i try to focus in class like fully only Focus on the teacher i would get sleepy and that drowsyness is not what i want. but its what some part of me inside is doing. yet that is also useful. if i really need to sleep? just watch a lecture and focus on the lecture. nowadays instead of self depricating since i kinda separate myself from myself somewhat. sometimes i call this self partitioning but theres probably similar more established concepts out there. its honestly the best thing that has helped me alot. one thing i did recently was i noticed how much i do tend to get invested even to fictional characters, and emotional investment is a weirdly powerful thing. so i made a character or icon of sorts that represents things i want for myself. and i would imagine myself chatting with this character as a way to sort of self reflect. sometimes i would make a promise to that character and imagine them being dissapointed when i couldn't fullfill it. but i also imagine joke around with that character, and sometimes i play a sort of "quick draw" game. this to maximize my investment in the character. the character is designed to make cheesy jokes, and i found myself laughing more and more at cheesy humor, etc. as weird as that sound its probably no different from say when a person talks to themself in 3rd person, when an athlete talks to themself in the mirror to hype themself up, or other such cases. in this situation tho i applied a bit of how i found i tend to get attached to characters. even drew them to maximize my investment in it. one final thing i learned after all is that. emotional investment is rather useful once you figure out how to get yourself invested in something. and how to identify things you are invested in without your awareness.
You've only ruined your life by being "average" if you feel like you've ruined it. I'm extremely happy being "average". 99.9% would "ruin" my life again.
👌👌👌 This is so importante! 🙂 to follow up the 1st study. And good to be frugal! (And also realistic in the way the world is now, like before you might had money to buy a house if you worked hard and saved, now thats not enought some times you have to work "smart" in some way to be able to save up for the house within your lifetime. Notsaying late-gratif is bad, frugality is SO good! You just have to think ab how to apply this in your life specifically I think.
Inflicting resistances that you choose to go through with anyways improve grit too like when you take an ice bath you'll almost certainly be more determined to do other difficult task like fasting or exercise. I say this after a 48hr fast and pretty much everything I just said
So many valuable lessons from this video. Here is a short summary: Discipline supersedes motivation. Marshmallow test study demonstrates that a great predictor of success is one’s ability to control impulses, thereby aiming for delayed gratification in lieu of instant gratification. To induce discipline, you can apply conditions and limits as rewards for instantly gratifying activities. For example, you only allow yourself to watch TV for 1 hour AFTER you have finished the milestone on work project. One trick is to combine activities such that you get both delayed and instant gratification. An example is to restrict listening to music only when cleaning, or watching TV only while exercising. Jealously is the thief of joy. Further, don’t demotivate yourself by comparing with people who seem to be successful despite indulging in instant gratification. Success has a long gestation period and results may take years to show. If you do as the 99% of population, then you will be bound to mediocre results in the long run. To be in the top 1%, you need discipline (consistency) and innovation.
This ignores alot in how society works today. There are plenty of people who have no issues being patient and planning ahead. However, when never being given an opportunity, all of this comes to nothing. Two generations have been betrayed, their futures stolen, by the thoughtless selfishness of older people and a different 1% that was born into wealth. The word Meritocracy is no longer anything more than an empty excuse for a system that is no such thing.
You are correct about what you say, there is definitely no meritocracy anymore. You can create opportunities for yourself though by learning skills and being extremely frugal to build capital for the things you want. You can increase wages by shopping around for a better workplace which can mean both increased pay and better conditions.
@@redstarling5171 Only if you are incredibly savvy or lucky in this area. Or, more often, you have contacts offering the nepotism rout. Most never get the luxury to choose between jobs, despite stocking up on supposedly desired skills or education. "Too little work experience." "Not the extremely specific version of this education we wanted." "Thank you for applying, [insert name here], but we have moved on with other applicants." Then they complain that the recruitment failed because "Noone applied to the job", despite hundreds of people having done so. Sure, you may be able to get into the ultra-specific education they want, spending years studying for that one job. Only to, after the graduation, find out that the job market have shifted yet again, making your hard earned education undesired or even worthless.
Very interesting, the impact that environment plays is not always easy to correlate. I grew up in a world where on the one hand things were very constant and reliable - mom was always home, we always got dinner every night, birthdays and Christmas always happened. But on the other hand, no one was there for me emotionally-relationally, I was always very much alone in a large family (we all were), and could not rely on anyone else. If I wanted something, I had to figure out how to make it happen. This could easily lead to a tendency towards instant gratification, but quite the contrary, I learned quite on my own to chase after things myself. Impatience and an unwillingness to put in the constant, daily hard work has been the greatest impediment to achievement for me, which I have gotten a lot better at over the years, but somehow I did figure out how to work hard for a long period of time to achieve goals in my professional and financial life, and have excelled in those areas well beyond most others.
As a child I was always told „first work, then fun“ but when I‘ve done my work there was sometimes more work, because I have time now. If I delayed my work and did fun first, there was someone else who helped me at my work and I collected energy to do the work while having fun before. Now I have to train myself everyday to overcome this habit. 😅
"you never know if you gonna get hit by the bus tomorrow" and because of this...do not go to the gym 30 days in a row without having a milkshake and burger.... nor should you indulge in milkshake and burger everyday.... should instead, alternate between work and indulgence as a reward...
Buen vídeo, como siempre 🙌🏽❤️ Pero he echado de menos un enfoque psicológico centrado en el estrés (y su química cerebral) como factor clave en la toma de decisiones. Y el estrés, como comentaba alguien antes, está muy relacionado con la situación socioeconómica de cada uno. Quizá podrías acabar los vídeos con enlaces o referencias para profundizar más en el tema? Un saludo y gracias por tu trabajo!
"El estrés está muy relacionado con la situación económica" Difiero de tu opinión. El estrés está muy relacionado a la forma en la que reaccionamos ante algo... Como el dinero. "Oh cielos! La colegiatura!" ¿Opciones? Entra en pánico y estrésate o, respira profundo y *confía* en que de una forma y otra lo resolverás. Cuando te das cuenta de que estrésate no te sirve de nada y buscas herramientas para cambiar tu enfoque (como la meditación) el estrés disminuye. 🙋🏻♀️
I love you videos! One question about this one. Isn't there always a chance that you can do everything "right" and still never be rewarded? Basically delaying gratification until you die because nothing ever worked out.
No, cause if you don't get much but you still get something which better than instant gratification. And you build more patience and think more rationally as you run less after the pleasure but now you think what is more better for you
@@Makebuildmodify No what I mean is even they didn't got what they desired but they learnt something which will be useful in their life at some point the efforts will not go to waste
@@user-ui4eu8fy2u THIS. The person it shapes you into becoming is often not considered in this sort of discussion. The goal gives you the direction (so it's obviously important as well), but the journey matters a lot more because of the person it's shaping you to be. At least in my perspective!
@BetterThanYesterday I read that recently scientists revised this experiment. Children who decided to wait did not value marshmellow much because they were from richer families. And if your parents are richer, you will likely achieve more in life.
The answer to the question "How 99% of People Ruin Their Life" is not explicitly stated in the video. However, the video discusses the importance of delaying gratification and making choices that lead to long-term success rather than short-term pleasure. By resisting cheap temptations and focusing on building a better future, one can avoid the pitfalls that lead to a life of mediocrity or failure.
Before I even watch this video, I find one thing kind of irritating about it, which I've also seen with other channels: the use of the word "you" in the title and/or thumbnail (in this case the thumbnail) While it may seem silly or over-sensitive to most, but it has this kind of clickbait effect that implies that the person watching this video has the issues mentioned... and that watching it is like an admission of having such and such properties/way of life/whatever, even though often times that's not the case - for instance, I'd just like to watch this video educationally, and some people may just want a reminder or confirmation of what they know, while others may disagree with the contents entirely. If you're confident in what you're saying and doing, there shouldn't be any need to imply some kind of flaw in your viewers to get them to click the video. And therefore, whether intentional or not (hopefully not), it can reduce credibility and integrity. It could be worse if it was titled "Why You Aren't Successful" or something (which is funny because success is subjective/dependent on the criteria you're looking at anyway), but I digress: this channel has had some great videos in the past, so I'm a little disappointed to see it use psychological tricks like this.
the bosses/manager who is watching this right now: "i see, since im such a good boss i shall delay my worker's paycheck for another few months so that they will be successful like me in the future" 🗣
I just deleted a comment, because I watched the rest and Got the answer - and now i’m just like: Thank you for making this bright video! Sharp - love it !
I make a “do not list” to handle delayed gratification things. I also make a “what-if” list to handle extenuating circumstances. Waking up late, getting sick, etc
That's a great idea man... Thanks
That's the way to do it 👍
The second list is a great idea, I didn't think of that.
@asadickens9353 can you tell more about it? one list of yours will really help me make mine and others too! (please do both lists)
Could you post your second list?
The marshmallow experiment can just show that some children have experience of adults not keeping their promises. And / or have a chaotic unpredictable home life or maybe not enough food at home to go around. So for them it makes sense to take the marshmallow.
That makes a lot of sense
Probably nobody checked whether the children liked marshmallows the same.
If a child does not really like marshmallows and only pretends to like them to please the researcher, of course the child will suceed in not eating it for longer or not at all.
I often thought that as well as I am not a marshmallow fan
That could be the case, but in general the ability to delay gratification helps a lot in life.
Exactly…a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
If you don't want to wait, just skip to the gratifying part at 10:42 in the video.
wait a minute-
But he said that if you do not want to wait-
That ain't that gratifying tbh
I’ve delayed gratification to the point of depression. Deny myself basic human desires/amenities. Don’t reward myself at all. Where’s the science behind that
If you're not living a tolerable life, why deny yourself little pleasures?
I'm not sure what you're specifically delaying, but if that is what's driving you to chronic stress or depression then you should probably find ways to indulge in self-care.
You're not alive when you're not living, after-all
@@mmasters180 I’ll take you up on that my friend.
I wish I had your focus Bros suffering from success 💀
@@aahronbhujbal7117 lol more like lack thereof in this context my friend.
@@RodderickPrinceParker why dont you remind yourself that ur doing the very thing the top 1% do
i think you should change your perspective
also anpother factor could be athiesm as athiesm seems to be promoting nilhism , the belief that nothing matters , and plain nilhism
The bit about building an association between pleasure and unpleasant tasks is 💯 I used to hate doing chores, but now I use that time to listen to audiobooks and podcasts, and now every weekend I'm looking for mindless tasks to do so I can listen to a podcast or audiobook
That’s why I don’t drive a car. When I travel, I read books. But I realise that this isn’t possible in some countries.
Seeing such videos is uplifting. I am an 'old-school' 22 yo who doesn't do social media and no drugs. 'I suck'. Such videos make me confident that I'm on the right track
You are 1 among the millions like me😊😊
there is no 'right' track. if you think you will be rewarded for not doing drugs, keep dreaming.
also, we are on social media right now
@@ege8240wow dude. What’re you doing on a channel like this? While from a broad perspective right and wrong might be subjective, they still exist. And you’re definitely wrong about no reward for staying away from drugs. There is a clear reward there. So you’re essentially wrong and being an egotistical asshole about it.
Also this channel is far from the negative effects found on “social media”. You’re clearly living a shitty life and want others to do so as well.
We won’t though. Humphrey you’re doing the right thing for you bro and good on you. Do you do you don’t end up like this clown
@@ege8240 there is a social media and social media,you cant really put people that spend half of their days on twitter/instagram/tiktok with the people that watch one or two hours of content videos a day in the same basket,its literarlly not the same thing.Just go talk with a person that watches 2-3-4 hours of tiktok a day and with a person that watches 1-2 hours of youtube a day and even within a 15 minute talk you can see the difference between.
@@ege8240hear hear, I hate people who think youtube isn't social Media. That's exactly what it is.
As a professional poker player I can only agree with this: immediate results don't matter, good decisions do. You will see the benefits in the long run.
Also keep in mind that that marshmallow looks different to everybody as we all have different weaknesses and cravings. Self-reflection and searching for the marshmallows in relation to your personal goals will definitely push you forward!
I've stopped indulging in instant gratification unless it comes from my work. I've been doing it for almost a month, and when I look back at the old habits I used to have, such as uncontrollably playing video games or spending my time with my instant-gratification-chasing friends, it makes me feel relieved and thankful for what I've done throughout the month.
2023 has been an amazing year for me, and this month alone made this year the best year of my life. With my strong mindset, 2024 will definitely be 12 times better. (12 months is better than 1)
W bro , just dont slide into the thinking of "just one more X" speaking from expirience
Man.... Trust me, this video actually helped me a lot. I needed to know this. You came back just when I needed you! 🎉
Thank you so much for helping us all through your channel. 💙✨
So if I understand it right, I first need to look at a marshmallow for 15 minutes then eat two and I end up successful?
Damn that's easy.
Thanks for the info
No way that's your conclusion 😭
He is in the 0.000001%
Yes, the marshmallow experiment was flawed as it didn't correct for socioeconomic background. I even read that when corrected for it, it didn't show any results at all.
I tested my impatient child when he was 4 and he passed with flying colours, which I never expected. It's because there was no shortage of sweets in life, from his perspective, and he could easily wait for the second one, because neither the first nor the second one matter.
I grew up poor and we had little food and no sweets. If you had gave it to me, it would have been gone before you had a chance to explain how it works. Still, here I am, living a dream and raising my child how to be happy and relaxed in life, not successful.
That's why I included the second experiment as well. Background, environment, socio-economic status and past experiences, all can have an affect on the results. It has to be noted that delayed gratification is just a piece of the puzzle and not the whole picture. But it shouldn't be dismissed. Also, as you pointed out, success is different for each person 😁
@@BetterThanYesterday I agree on what Luka said. The correlation between delay gratification and success is still not clear yet. As an adult, people delay gratification is often have a bigger motivation other than instant gratification. Therefore, instead of emphasizing delay gratification and make people feel hesitating to what they love, I think we should advocate people to do things that could bring happiness to themselves. I think this is the key point.
First of all ... How much does the child like marshmallows? Tastes are different. Did the child eat before? Does the child have brothers and sisters and has to fight at home for marshmallows? Does the child have experienced deception from adults?
I love this video! Im not arguing just discussing it further! 🙂 you could also get a result where a kid choose to eat 1 now becasuse the waiting time is boring and a sweet might cheer it up during a boring time more than later when the kid gets to do fun stuff again. Like 1 good thing now "while life is hard, just in the sweets situation, might give more value then, than two later on. Today you also might know that you can have another 3,5 or 7 sweets later that day whatever you choose now. Just thoughts! The main takeaway from the video, as I choose to see it, is that its good to be mindful, frugal, smart and also reliable so it has great value for me as a reminder of making good choises.
@@xiaozhewang7226I think the tests for delayed gratification should include people older like in their early 20s. If you put $10 on the table and said they could keep it or get another $10 if they wait, most would probably wait...unless they are either hard of hearing or just don't listen.
Thank you for such a well produced video on a topic I needed to hear. It's just about 2024 and I'm in the process of laying out some New Year's resolutions. This video will definitely be an influence!
Now I want to ask a question that seems to me fundamental: why do I want to be in the "top 1%"? Since I was a child I have read biographies and I have found a pattern in people who are in the "top 1%": many have been unhappy and did not hide it because of ideas they expressed in life (Tesla, Newton, Einstein, Carothers, Ampère, etc.), while others have been unhappy but tried desperately to prove that they were happy, surely to try to justify to themselves all the cost they had to pay to reach the "top 1%" (here I could give examples of living people, but some might interpret this as slander). If we separate humanity into groups of 100 people and take a group where you are, if you want to be in the "top 1%", you will have to make more sacrifices than the remaining 99 people, which will not necessarily make you happy in the long run (especially if you think that money will make you happy).
Oui mais, il y a des personnes qui n'ont pas le choix
Ils doivent faire des sacrifices
Comme les gens qui sont nés dans la pauvreté,..
Most have mistaken living a fulfilling life with being the 1% of most popular/rich people. It's fulfillment people desire, which doesn't need to be something outrages
I'm fine being in the top 25 or 50%. You're right, and top 1% typically refers to earnings or sales.
Being in the to 10% or 25% is already very good if we are talking abt the whole world@@toddspangler6669
It doesn't matter whether or not you are happy. Being successful will greatly improve other people's quality of life. If Einstein or Tesla took the lazy path, the world would be a lot worse, even if they personally would be happier. It's selfish. The same applies to you and me. Don't take the lazy path.
This gives a lot of perspective. Thanks for such a wonderful video.
the marshmellow test is so wacked. The people that put their kids in science experiement are either wealthier scicence nerds themesleves or people that need the money. Kids who grew up in homes that needed money probably suffered from food scarcity, or knowing that things don't last if you don't take them now. It's a hard way to judge.
Really good video. Wow. I grew up with a single mother that made a lot of promises that she never came through on.
She underestimated the damage that would cause.
Thanks for making this one!
Maybe I'm wrong about what you said but Don't dwelve too much into your past and try to forgive her for her liabilities. Forgiveness sets you free and you can move on easier.
@@ST-kp4qu
Eh, yea sure. She’s just not well. Some type of BPD. It’s kinda in their nature. She won’t get help. Many people have told her to get help.
I apologize if I am so cavalier about this. It’s just that whenever anyone tells me to forgive, it makes me cringe. It just is what it is. I don’t need some lame pow-wow around a campfire to cry and forgive my mom. There was a time when I dealt with all that. I appreciate the concern though.
My original comment was not intended to show any type of animosity towards my mother.
Simply saying the damaged caused by her still messes my life up today.
It’s great! Every day I find out new and wonderful ways that she screwed me and my siblings. lol
It’s funny, if I bring anything up that is negative about her, she denies it. We grew up sleeping on the floor in crack dens, dude.
She got that selective memory. She still calls herself the most unselfish person she knows. Most of her decisions were for herself in some way. It’s truly fascinating really. She did the best she could with the mental capacity given to her. That’s all I can say I suppose.
I understand. Some mental illness do alter consciousness and therefore pople like that do not realize the way they are, since they lack consciousness (in a way). When I say forgive her, it doesn't mean to forget. Forgive is a very simple word but it is extremely complicated. to integrate. Forgiving means to let go of the feelings that hold you and spiral you down. It took me many years to understand it. "Forgive them because they do not know" is extremely profound but true. (I'm not a religious person). Though, spirituality is a power you grant yourself over your soul and feelings and it is associated with a higher state of consciousness it makes you an observer of your own feelings. It takes time, to modify oneself. You being aware of everything she did to you and/or your siblings makes you conscious, but that state of mind must be followed by something deeper (I say must because otherwise it's holding you down).I always try acknowledge my feelings (and therefore the past associated) and ask myself : Ok what about it now and what about my future? What's next? What do I do from it and how?
Apologies if my english isn't extremely precise. wish you the best.@@benbenben123ben
The best channel in self-development is back and with an innovative thumbnail! I'm eager to watch it :D
I have to admit I was really strong before. After having some drama in my life I gained over 30kg fat. Two weeks ago, I ate about 3 chocolate bars a day. Hope that watching your videos make me loose some weight and start all over again. Your method shall be tested. I must succeed!
I used to eat chocolate bars too. But I think indulgences are a coping mechanism. I had personal issues going on that needed looking into with a therapist. I think emotions impact us far more than we realize. Chocolate does have mood enhancing properties but is unsustainable because it can lead to exacerbated mood imbalances and dependency.
@@michaelsmith6094yeah chocolate is so evil! I usually go with alcohol or heroin
Thank you for making good videos, you're one of the only youtuber that's actually talking about useful things and not trying to play on people's weaknesses
Glad to see you back
I really like your content and you've inspired me alot thank you.
Please could you do a video breaking down the process you follow to make this awesome videos step by steps from idea, research, scripting etc.
It will be really cool to have a video like that
Another fantastic video that genuinely helps people :) thanks!
6:51 rewatching to make it Stick more, thank you so much for the examples, this is just taking back the control of ones own life ❤
Hey you are not aware, how much we have missed you!! Glad to hear your voice again!
My vision of success is based on three words - progresively, constantliy, consequitively. This video is evidence that there is more than finding your rhytm. Thank you very much for the upload!
Best Channel I've ever found thank god. You talk all the things that and also explains them with combinations of things Nice work.
The writer George Orwell made a related observation. He said when people have difficult lives they often make short term decisions to get them emotionally through the next 15 minutes that are often really bad for them long term when repeated regularly. Eg having an ice cream, a beer, a cigarette..
I think it was partly an observation mostly about how working class people dont tend to eat healthy less appetising food. I forget the name of the essay or book.
This is so SPOT ON! Like many viewers mentioned that the marshmallow experiment has flaws, I agree that delayed gratification is very benficial for our wellness. In this modern world of temptations, ease, comforts, access to information(lots of it "misinformation"), and choices it's a constant battles to fight our impulses to avoid suffering. Giving in to thoses impulses has led us in to a society of many unfulfilled people. Through my "awareness" of this phenomena, I try and delay gratification as much as possible with my crude mantra of "earn my shit"! Whether it be "earn my carbs"(If I want pizza that night then I make sure that I have had quite a bit of movement that day), "earn my time on social media"(I will do some yard work or clean the bathroom). I am by no means perfect and do give in to impulses(Like my wife just made brownies and I can't resist them hot out of the oven! Damn her!), but I do try and follow that lifestyle of "Earn my shit" ! I am self made and created my wealth and contentedness!
I began learning flute and music last year. I work almodt everyday at least 40 minutes playing scales and all. That's instant and delayed gratification. I am truly impressed by all the progress I made starting from zero and look forward to being even more impressed in a near future... 😊🎼🎶
I think it should be said that the marshmallow study didn't account for socio-economic status. It's a lot easier to withhold gratification when a marshmallow is a nice little treat whereas to others it's sustenance; a scare resource for them.
@@Lavender_Jibanyan This doesn't account for the possibility of not getting the 2nd one at all, so they'll take what they can get now and not risk it.
they were probably chosen rather randomly making it irrelevant to the study
Thank you bro, needed this
This video helps a lot , made me realise many things i was doing wrong , i hope you continue to make such content, THANK YOU 😅
it was a very informative video... but I know this channel for a long time now and came back to watch it today and noticed that the narrator's pronunciation got MUCH better. This is maybe a small think goes unnoticed but, its a HUGE improvement and makes the channel even more empowering to know, you DO get better day by day--- Thank you and keep it up! :)
Happy to see a new video! Thank you sirr❤
So by watching this video, I am building my future and destroying it at the same time 😲
This channel always make my mind goes kaboom🎉new ideas emerge!!!
The mashmellow test turned to have a wrong basics. The kids from poor family ( where the parents could not provide sweets to kids) turned out to be the ones that didn't resist the mashmellow. Which makes sense, that later in life, the same poor parents could not support kids school/career.
Nice to see you back, mate. Cheers!
Everything in moderation including moderation.
Thank you thank you very much for this video
When we need HIM the most he returns.
Him ?
Beter than yesterday.
When we need HIM the most, he returns.
@@mariuszaidzia570 ...
This hit hard.
Nice to have you back❤
I would love it if you'd do a video on the 3-bite rule. There's a science behind it, but I can't find any videos that go into that. Your videos are very engaging and I've learned a lot from them, I also love to share them with my clients.
Well done video as always on this channel. Well thought out and helpful. Thank you.
Thank you very much for this informative and useful video!
Better than yesterday changed my life . Thank You man.
You are good mindset brother💪
From the outside perspective, it definitively looks like most people have their stuff together.
Your videos help me a lot in improving my life thank you 👏👏
growing up with adhd and not being able to access medication most out of finance and fear that ill become reliant on it and what would happen in worse finance situation. (just not viable when your poor yo)
you mention self negotiation and thats kinda interesting in that thats sort of how i view myself nowadays.
its really helpful to view yourself as if you are two or multiple entities in your head than one.
not like schizo or multiple personalities.
more like conflicting interests and conflicting attentions. which is probably because of my adhd somewhat.
but in any case doing this allows me to attempt to deconstruct myself, find my flaws, habits, etc.
sometimes i find there are weird uses for some flaws and habits.
like i find i learn and absorb more audio information when im drawing. so i always draw and listen to lectures.
if i try to focus in class like fully only Focus on the teacher i would get sleepy and that drowsyness is not what i want. but its what some part of me inside is doing.
yet that is also useful. if i really need to sleep? just watch a lecture and focus on the lecture.
nowadays instead of self depricating since i kinda separate myself from myself somewhat.
sometimes i call this self partitioning but theres probably similar more established concepts out there.
its honestly the best thing that has helped me alot.
one thing i did recently was i noticed how much i do tend to get invested even to fictional characters, and emotional investment is a weirdly powerful thing.
so i made a character or icon of sorts that represents things i want for myself.
and i would imagine myself chatting with this character as a way to sort of self reflect.
sometimes i would make a promise to that character and imagine them being dissapointed when i couldn't fullfill it.
but i also imagine joke around with that character, and sometimes i play a sort of "quick draw" game. this to maximize my investment in the character.
the character is designed to make cheesy jokes, and i found myself laughing more and more at cheesy humor, etc.
as weird as that sound its probably no different from say when a person talks to themself in 3rd person, when an athlete talks to themself in the mirror to hype themself up, or other such cases.
in this situation tho i applied a bit of how i found i tend to get attached to characters. even drew them to maximize my investment in it.
one final thing i learned after all is that.
emotional investment is rather useful once you figure out how to get yourself invested in something.
and how to identify things you are invested in without your awareness.
I really love this channel❤
You've only ruined your life by being "average" if you feel like you've ruined it. I'm extremely happy being "average". 99.9% would "ruin" my life again.
Watching from India ❤❤ thank you so much for this video
I'm convinced that willpower is an emotion.
Unfortuately, all of what is explained here is even more difficult for people with ADHD.
Really enjoy all your videos. Really an inspiration for me and my channel, hope to make videos as good as your one day!
👌👌👌 This is so importante! 🙂 to follow up the 1st study. And good to be frugal! (And also realistic in the way the world is now, like before you might had money to buy a house if you worked hard and saved, now thats not enought some times you have to work "smart" in some way to be able to save up for the house within your lifetime. Notsaying late-gratif is bad, frugality is SO good! You just have to think ab how to apply this in your life specifically I think.
Inflicting resistances that you choose to go through with anyways improve grit too like when you take an ice bath you'll almost certainly be more determined to do other difficult task like fasting or exercise. I say this after a 48hr fast and pretty much everything I just said
So many valuable lessons from this video. Here is a short summary:
Discipline supersedes motivation. Marshmallow test study demonstrates that a great predictor of success is one’s ability to control impulses, thereby aiming for delayed gratification in lieu of instant gratification. To induce discipline, you can apply conditions and limits as rewards for instantly gratifying activities. For example, you only allow yourself to watch TV for 1 hour AFTER you have finished the milestone on work project.
One trick is to combine activities such that you get both delayed and instant gratification. An example is to restrict listening to music only when cleaning, or watching TV only while exercising.
Jealously is the thief of joy. Further, don’t demotivate yourself by comparing with people who seem to be successful despite indulging in instant gratification. Success has a long gestation period and results may take years to show.
If you do as the 99% of population, then you will be bound to mediocre results in the long run. To be in the top 1%, you need discipline (consistency) and innovation.
Thank you
Thanks !!!!
Great vid, I stopped halfway through and started a business I've been putting off for months.
This ignores alot in how society works today. There are plenty of people who have no issues being patient and planning ahead. However, when never being given an opportunity, all of this comes to nothing.
Two generations have been betrayed, their futures stolen, by the thoughtless selfishness of older people and a different 1% that was born into wealth.
The word Meritocracy is no longer anything more than an empty excuse for a system that is no such thing.
You are correct about what you say, there is definitely no meritocracy anymore. You can create opportunities for yourself though by learning skills and being extremely frugal to build capital for the things you want. You can increase wages by shopping around for a better workplace which can mean both increased pay and better conditions.
@@redstarling5171 Only if you are incredibly savvy or lucky in this area. Or, more often, you have contacts offering the nepotism rout. Most never get the luxury to choose between jobs, despite stocking up on supposedly desired skills or education.
"Too little work experience." "Not the extremely specific version of this education we wanted." "Thank you for applying, [insert name here], but we have moved on with other applicants."
Then they complain that the recruitment failed because "Noone applied to the job", despite hundreds of people having done so.
Sure, you may be able to get into the ultra-specific education they want, spending years studying for that one job. Only to, after the graduation, find out that the job market have shifted yet again, making your hard earned education undesired or even worthless.
Great content as always
YOU ARE BACK BROOOO, WELCOME BACK!!
Very interesting, the impact that environment plays is not always easy to correlate. I grew up in a world where on the one hand things were very constant and reliable - mom was always home, we always got dinner every night, birthdays and Christmas always happened. But on the other hand, no one was there for me emotionally-relationally, I was always very much alone in a large family (we all were), and could not rely on anyone else. If I wanted something, I had to figure out how to make it happen. This could easily lead to a tendency towards instant gratification, but quite the contrary, I learned quite on my own to chase after things myself. Impatience and an unwillingness to put in the constant, daily hard work has been the greatest impediment to achievement for me, which I have gotten a lot better at over the years, but somehow I did figure out how to work hard for a long period of time to achieve goals in my professional and financial life, and have excelled in those areas well beyond most others.
Yes😊
As a child I was always told „first work, then fun“ but when I‘ve done my work there was sometimes more work, because I have time now. If I delayed my work and did fun first, there was someone else who helped me at my work and I collected energy to do the work while having fun before.
Now I have to train myself everyday to overcome this habit. 😅
Ngl, this is very well made. Thanks for your advice!
I never noticed instant addiction works as a double-edged sword.
"you never know if you gonna get hit by the bus tomorrow"
and because of this...do not go to the gym 30 days in a row without having a milkshake and burger....
nor should you indulge in milkshake and burger everyday....
should instead, alternate between work and indulgence as a reward...
Thanks for this video BTY
These videos are gems.
Very interesting and thought-provoking video. Thanks 😀
Very informative video 👏 💙
very good and bổ x
I got bullied during my entire childhood for being different, which I was short, korean, nerdy etc.
This video enlightened me
We wish, you can do more videos
best youtube channel doesn't exi...
Buen vídeo, como siempre 🙌🏽❤️
Pero he echado de menos un enfoque psicológico centrado en el estrés (y su química cerebral) como factor clave en la toma de decisiones. Y el estrés, como comentaba alguien antes, está muy relacionado con la situación socioeconómica de cada uno.
Quizá podrías acabar los vídeos con enlaces o referencias para profundizar más en el tema?
Un saludo y gracias por tu trabajo!
"El estrés está muy relacionado con la situación económica"
Difiero de tu opinión. El estrés está muy relacionado a la forma en la que reaccionamos ante algo... Como el dinero.
"Oh cielos! La colegiatura!" ¿Opciones? Entra en pánico y estrésate o, respira profundo y *confía* en que de una forma y otra lo resolverás.
Cuando te das cuenta de que estrésate no te sirve de nada y buscas herramientas para cambiar tu enfoque (como la meditación) el estrés disminuye. 🙋🏻♀️
Missed you and your outstanding videos
Thanks a lot 🌹🙏🌹🎩🎩
Thank you! I'll try to post more
@@BetterThanYesterday
I am realy grateful to you
🎩🎩🙏🙏🌹🌹
Failure to plan, have vision, and have willpower and grit to pursue it. That's most people.
I love you videos! One question about this one. Isn't there always a chance that you can do everything "right" and still never be rewarded? Basically delaying gratification until you die because nothing ever worked out.
No, cause if you don't get much but you still get something which better than instant gratification. And you build more patience and think more rationally as you run less after the pleasure but now you think what is more better for you
@@user-ui4eu8fy2uare you saying it's impossible for there to be a circumstance where someone tries and dies before they get their desired outcome?
@@Makebuildmodify No what I mean is even they didn't got what they desired but they learnt something which will be useful in their life at some point the efforts will not go to waste
I don't think you're understanding the dead part.@@user-ui4eu8fy2u
@@user-ui4eu8fy2u THIS. The person it shapes you into becoming is often not considered in this sort of discussion. The goal gives you the direction (so it's obviously important as well), but the journey matters a lot more because of the person it's shaping you to be.
At least in my perspective!
@BetterThanYesterday I read that recently scientists revised this experiment. Children who decided to wait did not value marshmellow much because they were from richer families. And if your parents are richer, you will likely achieve more in life.
Please do a video every week ❤❤
The answer to the question "How 99% of People Ruin Their Life" is not explicitly stated in the video. However, the video discusses the importance of delaying gratification and making choices that lead to long-term success rather than short-term pleasure. By resisting cheap temptations and focusing on building a better future, one can avoid the pitfalls that lead to a life of mediocrity or failure.
Before I even watch this video, I find one thing kind of irritating about it, which I've also seen with other channels: the use of the word "you" in the title and/or thumbnail (in this case the thumbnail)
While it may seem silly or over-sensitive to most, but it has this kind of clickbait effect that implies that the person watching this video has the issues mentioned... and that watching it is like an admission of having such and such properties/way of life/whatever, even though often times that's not the case - for instance, I'd just like to watch this video educationally, and some people may just want a reminder or confirmation of what they know, while others may disagree with the contents entirely.
If you're confident in what you're saying and doing, there shouldn't be any need to imply some kind of flaw in your viewers to get them to click the video. And therefore, whether intentional or not (hopefully not), it can reduce credibility and integrity.
It could be worse if it was titled "Why You Aren't Successful" or something (which is funny because success is subjective/dependent on the criteria you're looking at anyway), but I digress: this channel has had some great videos in the past, so I'm a little disappointed to see it use psychological tricks like this.
yay gud to see u again....a while back yr channel got deleted and blah blah. Gud to see u again.
GREAT
the bosses/manager who is watching this right now:
"i see, since im such a good boss i shall delay my worker's paycheck for another few months so that they will be successful like me in the future" 🗣
Wonderful video❤
This is the Cane and Carrot Principle.
Thank you for sharing 😊
That was so beneficial implementation of information leads to transformation
Don't we get too old while we always think about delayed gratification without enjoying the moment.🤔. It is not completely true, but still😅.
Delayed gratification won't benefit you much without a clear direction to go in life
Even tho it’s still the a trait of the 3%
Plzz keep on making such helpful videos
Kudos to you❤
Will do!
@@BetterThanYesterday❤❤
❤ I'm a fan from Cambodia ❤
This is really good advise
*advice
So in summery: train yourself to trust yourself
I just deleted a comment, because I watched the rest and Got the answer - and now i’m just like: Thank you for making this bright video! Sharp - love it !
I waited for 2 marshmallows and made 10 cents from the student next to me..I'm allergic to it.