Worst Trip Explained | "Healing a Psychedelic Crisis"
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- Опубликовано: 10 сен 2024
- The follow up to my PsychedSubstance video titled “WORST TRIP OF MY LIFE.” Link: • "WORST TRIP OF MY LIFE"
Since posting it 5 days ago, I have received a lot of comments and messages from people who wanted to know the details of what exactly happened. This video serves as both the “Trip Report” as well as an update on how I’m doing and what techniques a person can do to heal from a traumatic experience. Hope you all enjoy!
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Ending Theme Music: / skipper
Psyched Channel: / @psyched.substance
Bad trips are great for realising how wonderful 'normal' life is. So grateful to be straight.
So good trips are bad cause they make us realize how dull and insignificant 'normal' life is?
So sure! and how God is merciful ( i am not religious) but think how terrible life would be
So, we call it 'tripping' because you're not on just one trip, you're going on a series of adventures within your skull (Went on a trip and never left the farm). Think of it as a collection of vivid day-dreams. Worst negative experiences I've witnessed weren't even in my head, rather a friend or acquaintance who goes through what I call a 'loop' where you get stuck in one mind-set or specific set of thoughts/ideas for an extended duration. I'll tell you it's fairly terrifying to watch. Had a friend who was shouting at the sky for about 2 hours at the top of his lungs, "I'm the master of the universe, I can control it!"... Did NOT seem enjoyable, but when I asked him afterwards, he said he had a great time... My solution to avoid bad experiences: You must realize that YOU are the monster in your head, YOU are your own worst enemy, the one person who knows the best way to attack you is YOURSELF! You just trippin' bruh, don't forget that there were some crazy ass molecules you've ingested.
Bad trips only make you more of an insecure and confused to the point of becoming more bi polar by the day .....
@@Subs1338 loser
“The only way through fear is acceptance.”
That’s some profound shit man. I love it.
That`s how i got through my 2nd (a couple of days ago) CRAZY, heavy trip..
I too saw "hell" (crawling insects, snake like creatures etc. on my floor and some kind of devil like entity).
Id`e then find myself communicating with "God" (life, all that was, all that is and all that could be) to get guidance out of that.
Then i came out into the ALL - beauty again... ....then ALL of it all over again - repeatedly (maybe 10 times) for about 2-3 hrs..
..there was a lot more - birth and death of life itself and catching glimpses of "parallel universes" being them, being a part of them; also death of
our galaxy... ...which is actually how i went from the death of our galaxy/leading to death of our universe (unaware) and the finding myself as the all at the point of "The Big Bang"; when that approached, ALL of me and ALL of everything was Infinitesimally small; the pressure is immense - and leads to the new expansion....... .......An image of the breath of Life/God itself?..
So ya, once again, my first time experiencing this life and death stuff i too was running - obviously without success..
this time i tried to accept the hell and fear (even attempted to communicate-no answer just awful energy) ; so i asked for guidance from "God"
and my ancestors...
I`m back :-) and feeling good.. Don`t get me wrong, it was very intense.
All the best to ya all..
justin romang
What were you tripping on..acid..? Or something else
gardensofthegods
hey, ya 1.5 drops of LSD. crazy. next time i`ll try just a half or less :`-)
have a good day..
justin romang
I haven't done any in a long time and I got tired of the way it would give me that grating , jangly feeling in my upper spine sort of of up in between the shoulder blades..
That would always happen by the end of the tripping in most cases .
crazy thing is I've had 2 bad trips and every time I die over and over again and it just keeps going until I just stop trying to change the outcome and let myself completely expierence dieing over and over and it slowly gets better
Got chills when Adam said "the only way through fear is acceptance". So true.
What you resist will persist. You cannot deal with something you give no reality to. All thought is creative and eternal, the problem will keep tapping you on the shoulder until you acknowledge it, and when you do, you can deal with it and it can take its proper place in reality.
grizzsbiz I love this community
Andreas M lol
Acceptance of Christ is the only thing that will save you from an eternity of what he experienced. He had a word for word biblical experience of hell.
The only way through fear is to realise it does not exist, only God exists. There are only two base emotions Love and fear, only Love is Real. "God is Love therefore Love is all there IS. Everything else is illusion" ACIM
Three days after the party I was smoking a cigarette out on the balcony. My brother reached me and remained silent, he didn't talk a lot during the previous three days. "What's up bro?", I asked him. "I'm trapped. This trip will last forever. I'm a madman". His words harrowed me, I've seen lot of guys permanently locked in a LSD reality. I gave him my cigarette. "A madman doesn't know he his a madman. You just need to wait and talk a bit more". It worked.
I am crying thank you..
i tripped for 24 hours before thought i wasent coming back from acid this time but i did and learnt alot haha
Trips don't last forever. The experience can be intense enough to trigger PTSD. So while you're not stuck in a trip, it can change you forever. (But good experiences tend to do that as well.)
@@Brodc This isn't an uncommon side effect. Some people who take very heavy doses, have an incredibly bad experience, or both, can have persisting effects for two or three days after. Personally 2 good tabs (I estimate somewhere around the 200ug range) had me still very clearly seeing visuals at the 16 hour mark.
So my boyfriend knew a man who tried fake psybocillan. It was actually an edible mushroom that was soaked in an LSD bath and he got one that was intensely potent (at the bottom of the tub). Reportedly he was tripping for years
Looping thoughts are the worst thing ever when tripping. I did nbome one time and believed that it made me insane, and all i could think about for the whole trip was how i was plunging into insanity over and over again. its hell
it also happend to me
yeah i hated nbome so much. i got stuck in a loop of thinking my body was deteriorating and that i was going to end up mentally and or/physically disabled...i could go on and on about what was going on but yeah it was terrible
FogellofDot I got stuck in a loop when I took acid alone. I kept seeing the door opening and knowing something bad would come through it. pbv the door never moved but it seemed to open more n more n more but also not. it was terrible!
the other terrible loop i had was that I heard all my family members telling me I should get normal again. I felt like I got clear for a second than again I heard all of em saying I should become normal again. I believe thats how shizophrenai feels. terrible specially cause it never ended.
My real name damn dude... but Imagining that seems minda funny. your friends must have laughed alot :p
this happened to me too !
“I’m pretending to like them just so they don’t hurt me.” Think deeply about how often this fear probably drives social phenomena.
True bro like 👉🏽ruclips.net/video/EVmPy6zwf6c/видео.html
Literally straight facts ^
I experienced this exact feeling. The three friends I was with I concluded weren't really who they were and were these "demons" keeping me trapped in hell. I kept experiencing de ja vu which solidified the "welp, this is it.. forever" feeling and acceptance.
ruclips.net/video/_LLCz1FCWrY/видео.html This song is about that
Women will weirdly relate
The human brain is truly amazing.
Complex yet beautiful
I fucking hate mine
spicy doggo ok
Maybe it’s only amazing to the human brain
@@gogomonkey111 why?
Anyone ever feel trapped in there brain when the realization sets in that every experience is within ur brain , the outside world never really exists it’s just your senses processing it within your brain then panic sets in and in the moment you think you “broke your mind” scariest feeling ever
Orion Ramos every time dude I wouldn’t wish that on anyone and that’s just on some strong as weed
@BigOleMeme you're not alone dude. Youre not alone
@BigOleMeme I have this too, but I only smoke weed. It didn't even come from the weed or anything, i just woke up one day feeling like this and it's never gone away.
@relax, life is temporary the feeling of love is what made me actually appreciate life. Love and sadness are the two emotions I feel the most ever since I had that intense acid trip.
@@WarpedBlinds why do you think its always love and sadness. How do we win
This trip sounds so much like my awful mushroom trip, oh my god.
I felt entirely alone, like I was dying and I was completely out of control. I saw nothing that was real, I was throwing up and I could tell the distance of anything. My body wouldn’t stop shaking and crying. It was the worst night of my life.
Sounds like my bad shroom trip, was constantly crying with out knowing it. Felt like I was dying and experienced what I believed was purgatory/ the afterlife. Weird shit but taught me a lot
Did you get to the bottom of what was causing you guys to experience this?
Fuck lol. You must maintain!
sounds like a normal day for me lol
what dose was that?
You can see how strong his mentality is. Took him 2 weeks to get back on track after suffering trauma
16:40 "the real growth happens when you're not tripping"
100% agree. the best way i can describe it is the psychedelics expand your mind, but it's your job to grow in to the new found space.
I don’t want someone else telling me it’s okay, I just want to feel okay in my own body.
How you feeling now brother ?
@@nellen474 I’m feeling fine, great actually. Thank you for asking!
@@someup7786 i took LSD last time abyear ago ..i still dont feel the same , my life totaly stoped 😓
I wish i could go back to normal ..but i feel ill never BE ok again .
@@nellen474 you most definitely can Nel. You’re just stuck in a rut and looking for an explanation. LSD is strong but you don’t have any residual effects at this point. Just remember life is about perspective and you have control over your thoughts.
A bad trip sucks and it’s scary and it feels like it will never end but after experiencing one it’s just the drugs and they will wear off
When I bad trip I just think of Allan Watts when he was talking about letting go, and that "it does not matter".
It is always possible to let go. It's just a choice you make in the moment :)
Right, its not easy for everybody.
***** I totally agree with you, for me it's harder depending on the dose and what substance I'm taking
Totally agree!
breathe is the easiest way, just inhale and exhale and close your eyes and lay down :)
My god when you said you felt like all of reality is a illusion and your the only one who exists and every thing is you and you're all alone and you feel extream lonlieness an you run from it .....Damnnnn I've experienced the exact same thing
Funny how so many of us experience that exact sensation. I've had it many times, But each time gets easier because I remember that effect wears off with time and spending it with others. Also the fact that others experience that is reassuring.
+Joe Schlabotnik the real question is if that's what it really is ? Is that the true nature of reality ? Seems weird
I actually do get the sense that's what the true nature of that MOMENT is. It can't be true that i applies to all moments of reality because when I am with others, especially when tripping I get the sensation that they are just as real as me, in equal realness to the aforementioned realization. But of course, the best thing you can do in that situation is accept it. 'Hey, I guess I AM the only being of reality. That's cool. Now I have time to appreciate myself and do whatever I want.' For me that typically ends with drawing very colourful pictures.
I was thinking about my horrible LSD trip and my friend randomly suggested we put on this video in that same moment. I am so thankful for this video because I thought I was the only one.
So, I had done a minuscule amount of several different drugs including LSD. I hit a container of NOS and all of a sudden I was sent into a parallel psychedelic universe in which there were loud distant maniacal voices in my head. Everything was blue and purple so I shot up cause obviously I was freaked the fuck out. At that moment all my friends disappeared and to me it seemed like I was stuck in this alternate drug reality forever. I instinctively ran to the bathroom and shoved my head into the toilet boil, blocking my ears shutting my eyes just begging to escape.
My friend told me when I entered into that void I just had this blank stare in my eyes as if I had gone crazy - and my eyes were open the whole time.
Idk wtf happened to me but that was the scariest shit EVER. I was just happy to be sane and have other people alive. Reality is one precious thing. Don't do drugs, kids.
KEANTHO
The reason why I love your content so much is because you're totally honest and it shows it can happen to anyone. Thank you for your honesty as well as the education on psychedelics.
I know this video is 7 years old, but i just wanted to say what you are describing is similar to nightmares i used to have when i was younger, like from the age of 6 to 14. I used to sleepwalk without knowing it, mumble and sometimes scream in my disassociated hellish, infinite terrors. It's been a while since my last "bad dream", but they were always completely different from my other dreams. I never figured out what they were or why i had them. Safe to say it scared my parents.
O thought it was just me who had these kind of dreams! I still get them sometimes, where im stuck on a loop trying to solve a problem at work or something like that, it’s horrible
As a person who hasn't but wants to try LSD I can appreciate this honesty about having a bad trip, shows it can happen to anyone, no matter the experience
You feeling like you need to continue using psychedelics to have your channel matter is irrelevant. You could quit psychedelics or all drugs for all I care! The point of the channel is to teach future psychonauts how to correctly use their substances and to throw in a few stories every once and a while (Along with random things YOU choose to upload), and the stories don't even need to be recent to be good! You said it yourself you have plenty of stories! Just keep doing what you're doing. (I love your videos no matter what they are)
True
terence mckenna was worried also that people would find out that he didnt took mushrooms again and i dont care neither mckenna is a legend to me still
"Change where you're going, you don't have to be define by your past." -SWIM
Damn, this got me.
Mr Liu Kango sit down just sit down
Lol being aware that my past defines me actually got me out of an mdma hangover existential crisis.
Read The Power of Now By Eckhart Tolle. I had similar complaints many times before I knew what something called "pain body" in the book means. I wish much love and much understanding to you, stranger.
I second this. Amazing book that everyone must read. Helped me tremendously
Yes! Me too!
I’ve never taken LSD. However all of my friends did growing up. I was always terrified of its power. I was the single person out of 30 who didn’t take acid at a party. It turned out to be a bad batch. I watched from the “outside” as everyone dealt with their bad trip in their own way. It was one of the most intense experiences of my life.
Wow
Sure
Damn do you know what they took instead?
ThiccFactory 25i-nbome
i mean taking LSD on a party itself is a bad idea
You have me bawling. This is so true. I’ve been so scared to take acid again in fear of who I’ve become since 2015. My kids were taken from me due to extreme neglect after my father died. Emotional neglect. It’s a long story. Two years later in 2017 the state of PA returned my kids. But during the transformation into a better mother, people beat me down. The judgement and harassment was so severe I’d almost killed myself twice.
Anyway, here I am three years since they were taken. I have them back, they love me. We’re doing amazing financially and emotionally in that respect of me being a mom. But it’s what happened. Ever since my dad died randomly of a heart attack, the mind I once was 120% on knowing seems gone. Anxiety and panic hits randomly, depression gets deep. My mother in law stalks my family, will read this too I bet. Anyway. We recently came across some acid. And I fear taking it. I fear what my mind has become. How I loop myself into believing things can’t be ok. That I don’t deserve to be happy. How my emotions are dictated by the opinions of others.
I used to do lsd so much back when. It’s probably the biggest influential thing I’ve ever had growing up from a teen to an adult. I have the molecule on my arm I adore it so much. But this day I fear taking even a little bit. I don’t know how to stop it. I want to experience what I used to. I’ve never had a bad trip on lsd. But that was back when I was “ok”. This video helped a lot in regards to facing that. My ego, I fear not impressing others. I fear judgement. But it’s just.. how do I change that.
First of all, I'm so glad you got your kids back and they're in a great place now. But you mentioned that anxiety and panic hits you randomly, which indeed implies there is something you are not adressing. And if you are not positive that you can change that by yourself, there is absolutely no shame in finding professional help. I've also heard that meditation can help. Lot's of luck and love.
Seraphim thanks so much for this! I actually had an amazing experience this weekend and am proud I took the plunge xo. It was the same as it’s always been and I did cry the next day over things I was shown and grateful for them. Thanks again. Xo
I'm so glad! Keep it up
Karuna Satori ASMR I would definitely suggest a small dose of you are going into it with any kind of anxiety. Personally I had a great trip on 200 mg on a day that I really didn’t have my shit together so I think I’m less prone to “ bad trips”. Either way don’t beat yourself up too much. You have your family and you have their love. That’s number one. I could see how some may have beaten you down in the past but you also have to consider your own errors that resulted in that beat down. I’m glad you are in a better place now. Sorry about your Dad.
I'm so proud of you. Your kids appreciate it too.
you should do a joe rogan podcast. I think you guys would have some interesting conversations
this so many times
!!!!!
And after that do the Duncan Trussel Family Hour!
Colby cheezer yessssss. joe rogan experience
yessss we gotta send some emails to joe!
The only thing bad that happens to me on acid is the thought that i'm never coming back and time not moving.
thats a classic :P
BassFace I've felt like I was trapped in a loop in time before. That wasn't very fun.
When I trip time goes too fast, like before I know it I'm on the come down and I'm wanting my trip to come back. I got distortions last time where time seemed to slow down but it's still over before I know it
Lol that's just how time works: when something good happens it's over once you can appreciate it. Same with bad things. Nothing is real except in our minds.
BassFace YES. Its terrifying. The worst part was talking to people i knew (very conservative types) when i was tripping. It must have been funny to see me sweating all bugged out lol 😂
"It's just us three forever" was the same words I heard!! Thank you I needed to hear someone else's experience.
Ita funny how context can change so drastically. They were saying "it's just us man, your friends," but he heard "all you have is us and theres no escape "
That's a pretty amazing insight to how anxiety distorts our perception of others
The trio is real you your ego and god all fighting over one body
Hope you guys can take something positive from the video! What I also forgot to mention, was we did have a Trip Sitter present who was home incase anyone needed help. What was their advice during my black out? *"Keep him held down so he doesn't hurt himself or try to leave the house"* I'm actually quite impressed they were able to comply in their altered state. One was on a much smaller dose, thankfully.
SWIM Hey Adam could you perhaps try out Blue Lotus Flower or Mugwort. Both are very interesting from what I've read but I'd like to see you test it out and give your thoughts.
addicted 3? no, ok.
SWIM I know weed is classified as a psychoactive drug, so does that mean your psychedelic break means you wont smoke said weed?
thanks a lot for sharing adam i apreciate all your inputs, my pshyc experciences have being though ones, but as a see now, im not the only one that has learn to grow thanks to those experciences, thanks greetings from Cancún.
SWIM holy shit dude I had this exact type experience ( of dying and coming back to die again) on dabs. it was horrifying and felt eternal. Ik dabs and thc aren't the traditional psychedelic but it did make me trip and I'm actually nervous to ever do dabs again. I understand the experience you had even tho yours was on acid. it was crazy shit. happy to hear someone had that same experience on a substance.
When you were explaining the feeling of infinite loneliness, that spoke to me so much. I had a terrible acid experience back in July where basically, about 7 hours into the trip (I thought I was coming down) I had the come up again, full swing, tripping as hard as the peak of the experience hours before. It scared me. My first thought was "this is a research chemical". I suddenly felt so alone and trapped and like it would never end, this continued until about 6 in the morning the next day. It took everything in me to not have someone take me to the hospital! I can see now why people think they're gonna die when something like this happens. The worst of it continued after the trip, though. Since then I have been so existential. It's caused a few panic attacks, I passed out during one of them. In hindsight it doesn't help that I already struggle with depression and anxiety. Sigh, it's crazy what one experience can do to you. I'm still haunted by it
emily lam I'm feeling anxiety post a trip on mdma. okay sounds rediculous but my friend and I took way too much (stupidity) and he got a massive headache and kept passing out. I was fine but I got scared by this. then A second wave hit me like you described and I was alone at home. since then I feel light in my body. had a terrible week long experience of anxiety on a chronic basis and I'm only just lasting the days with minimal panic attacks
+JedGames i myself have only had mdma in very very VERY small doses, so I've never experienced anything like this but I have friends who've passed out etc. so I can definitely see why that would leave a lasting effect. I haven't heard of the physical effects you describe but the anxiety? For SURE. My anxiety after this was crippling. I suggest you research (not to the point it stresses you out more because I've done that) and possibly see someone. I already have a history of depression so I'm seeing a doc for that anyway, but one experience shouldn't leave someone shaken forever
JedGames when did this occur? it's very important not to overdose with MDMA as this can deplete your serotonin levels, leading to a low mood for days or weeks. 5 htp supplements, or a healthful diet, can help replenish your serotonin levels. This is why you should only really drop every 3 months or thereabouts. In these situations I smoke a lot of cannabis. I hope you recover soon!
emily lam just imagine what a positive experience would do to you're mind body and soul. Good luck with finding peace and love, we're all capable
were you with anyone at the time.
Whenever I'm on lsd, if I chew some food that crunches I can hear screaming coming from each crunch. But it's not scary I find it funny
LOL
LMFAO
looool
I had such a traumatic trip, I had to stop all drugs.
What happened on the trip dude?
Me too
Dvach that happened to me last night. I have to stop all drugs I just don’t feel grounded right now
Declan Woods seek recovery. It can work for you. I’m at an NA convention now. 10 days clean. Let’s do this bro.
Same, it was really a wake up call to stop my drug use. I get horrible anxiety and ptsd anytime i change my state of mind. Even a nicotine buzz will give me anxiety
I wish this channel had just as much subscribers as your main
I kind of agree with you, in the sense that he deserves so much more credit for the content he creates, but at the same time I think it's a good thing that this channel doesn't have as many people, after all it is his second, more personal account.
Wow thanks for sharing.
I had a kind of similar experience. I was at a music festival a couple years ago and took some lsd. I have taken it probably around 20 times before. This time I took a little more than I normally would take. It started off great but soon intensified. At first It was weird it was like I had saw something I wasn't supposed to see and there was this entity or person I kept seeing that was like threatening me not to say anything. As it intensified more I was able to see people's auras and every one was connected almost like I could see vibrations being sent from one person to the next in a streamline. I started to see tons of evil people/entities in the stadium and got freaked out. I had to leave the stadium with my girlfriend. After we left on our way to the campsite it got even worse. At this point I don't think I was seeing with my eyes at all any more. All my worst fears started to manifest. I had to come face to face with all of my deepest darkest worst fears, from being shot, to being stabbed to everything inbeween. I remember the feeling of the knife going into my stomach. I watched and felt myself die over and over again. I felt myself endure the pain from each different scenario of me dying. At one point I remember standing at the end of a ledge and talking with death asking if I was ready to jump and me jumping head first and then hitting the ground. I ended up ripping all my clothes off to try and escape the hell I was in.. I remember running as fast as I could into nothingness and even digging at the ground with my bare hands at one point.. It was by far the worst trip and one of the scariest experiences of my life. Not to mention my poor girlfriend at the time had to witness all of this..The cops ended up coming while I still was in this alternate reality. I ended up fighting off the cops until more came to restrain me.. in my mind I had no idea cops were there or anything. I finally started to come to when i was in the ambulance.. The next day I woke up in a Colorado hospital which is 20 hours from my house with no phone, no car, 1 shoe and no shirt. We somehow found a ride from a stranger back to my car and drove home. I had alot of time to think about the experience on my ride home.. I was able to take something positive from such a horrible trip. No matter what I endure in this life... Nothing is going to be as terrifying as the things my imagination manifested. If I faced those things, I could face anything life threw at me. I figured I'd share my experience. I haven't really been able to share that with anyone that would really understand but I feel that the time was right to share it with you.
Jon lynch thanks, time to throw way these tabs.
@@josiah3236" am I my brother's keeper?" Listen to the story dont be a smartass, Cain
I’ve had a few bad trips not quite this bad though. Have you considered dropping acid again? My bad trip came from dmt probably my 10th time doing it.
is it all coincidence its about hell and demons. Call me crazy but there is a sprititual world we refuse to believe in.
@@varavarala313 yes, there is.
This is what I love about both of your channels, Adam. You show us that in the end we're all the same. There isn't superiority, it's all equitable.
Even the most experienced people on psychedelics go through rough times.
I had pretty much the same experience with mushrooms last Saturday night. Amazing, the things it will teach you after being scared to death for 6 hours.
I was 16, very depressed, eating disorders were completly controling my whole life, and I tried to help myself with psychedelics. It did help, after long battles with myself, after hitchiking around europe with no destination. But it left shitloads of trauma and chemical inbalance in my brain, and sometimes its hard to cope with them, when it sudenly apears and you just wanna scream and feel like you're going insane. I took shitloads of psychedelics and random drugs, in unsafe places, in destructive moods, and paradoxicaly I think it really saved my life. Now I'm 18 and I am happy, that inner-truth-knowing-calm-nothing and everything happy, happy with what i have, always trying to be the very best of myself. But still, i have that so called demons in me, and I am trying to find the way to heal them, cuz they are still holding me, and I don't how, but your videos are helping me systematicly try to collect all that chaos I experienced, no matter that I am terified of what I can find in my subconsiousnes. ,,If you are meditating, and the devil comes, make him meditate too"
thank you for being!
Anastasija Galbūt I can totally relate to your experience.
Anastasija Galbut I've had some of those feelings (maybe not as intense as yours) similar to yours, but while being totally sober, and just having intense panic attacks. Usually it would start out while I'm bored, my mind would just start wandering, and it slowly crept in, this bad feeling. I would start getting a feeling of detatchment from my body, and I felt like this 'vegetable state' like I was just in this void, an abyss and suddenly I think it was my ego causing me to tell myself "you're losing it, you're losing it! Better get grounded before you slip away and never come back" and I'd literally start reciting my name, social security number, birthdate and home adress along with the names of my parents. And the whole time it's like I couldn't 'escape' myself and I had this feeling that I needed to run to the emergency room and beg them to put me to sleep or something because I couldn't shake this 'feeling'. So, I am really not a good candidate for heavy psychodellics. Now, I did smoke weed a little when I was younger, I tried acid once but just a half a hit because I was scared, and also mushrooms once which was a pleseant experience. But I am now 45 years old and I have felt pretty emotionally healthy for the past 5 years or so. I do take Cymbalta for depression and that's it. You said you are 18 years old and that shocked me because what you've experienced is a lot for such a young age. I think in your teenage years your brain (your psyche) is still developing and those types of drugs are not a good idea at all. But, you seem to be lucky in that it sounds like you have 'recovered' and are at a good happy place now with your emotions. I'd advise to just be healthy and not mess with psychodellics and your life will get better and better. God bless you!
RESPECT ^
At about the 4 minute mark. You mentioned feeling like the entire world around you is an illusion and you're the only real entity. That's the exact feeling I had the first time I did 5g of mushrooms in darkness (but only after turning the lights back on did that feeling really settle in). That might be one of the most terrifying times of my life. I still love mushrooms, but they showed me that they have an ugly side haha.
Naomasa11 same
Naomasa11 I felt like that on x one gold cap and weed. I got lost in an event above and beyond was playing and I can honestly say I can't remember anything other than the illusions I was seeing
My first LSD experience was like 250mc with a weed brownie, my vision got completely blinded and i experienced every state (death, reborning, ego death, etc). When it kicked in i just didn't believe that this shit was LSD, i didn't never expected experiencing something like that, it was so intense, but i think that like in 10min i stopped bad tripping and just accept the shit, now going back to the point, when i forgot about everything and it was only me, i didn't really experienced a lonely feeling, i was more thinking for a moment about my familiars name's cause i thought i got my remembers "deleteds", but after i mentioned them on my mind and realized i got them still, i started seeing all this in third person and thinking to myself "how the fuck im able to be in peace mode", i was only feelings emotions by colors, mostly green, but i was like in nirvana state. I think i wouldn't made with my gf, we were hugging so that calm us both down, i was with a friend too and he wasn't with his gf, looping on the cellphone over and over, i remember saving him and giving him my right shoulder hahahah and my gf on my left one, the three of us tripping balls. We had some moments that we could talk, like we were put back in reality for a few moments, and when we started feeling like we were going to trip again we were like "bye man i got to go" and laugh over hahah. We had a lot of other trips but we stopped to cause of university, i don't really feel either like tripping a hard experience when i went all kaleidoscopic and tunnel vision, my gf looked like and alien, i still managed myself to calm down but i think I'm still traumatized. Sorry i get excited writing hahahaha and srry for the bad english im Chilean:(
Screw doing that in the dark, play some panoramical, listen to some liquid dnb with psytrance on another tab, play some fun Osu songs or something.
ahahahha i laughed so hard at the "bye man i got to go" . i felt like trippin while reading this good story bruh
Thanks again, Adam. You sharing your experiences help more people than you know. Stay humble, brother.
Coming back to your videos to try and heal from my really bad PTSD caused by tripping, and even worse trip sitters. Truly comforting content you have ♥️
This is my experience when I smoked weed and my paranoia.
You get this feeling of 'wait... What? What am I doing here again? This is life?I have a body?' Then suddenly you get an even more overwhelming feeling that's something isn't right. And you start questioning who you are, and the nature of existence and you start asking abstract questions, and the more questions you ask the more it seems centered on you. Which then becomes odd. Then you start becoming more aware of yourself and what you been doing all this time. 'This is me? I was born (insert age) years ago? What am I? I know that but what am I really?'
Then coming out of nowhere this inexplicable idea pops into your head that perhaps.... you are God.
You start saying 'NO NO NO that can't be. That seriously can't be. I'm not God... Am I?'
Then everything starts shifting and you begin becoming super depressed and start both focusing on that thought, trying to debunk it, and also trying to run from it. And you end up in a never ending repetitive maze of the thought going over and over again in your mind and eventually you last so long in there that you begin thinking everything you know is hopeless and you are doomed for eternity in this, doomed to not be in control, to be only God observing/looking outside your eyes as you are forever to watch outside of them, even when you die you are trapped to repeat it again. Believe me, I been there. It's fucked up. But I have a theory on what happened. Here's my theory: What happened is that you became aware of yourself, aware of your own existence for the very first time. Before this you were completely on autopilot. Your self awareness was only centered around the external and what you know, but you never questioned the very nature of reality and your own existence itself. This is what philosophy's real origin is. When man finally first started to question his own existence and the anxiety that follows when you finally become aware of it. Heidegger the philosopher called this Existential Angst. It's when you feel anxiety about your own existence. Now, the reason you think you're God is because the only thing that you know is yourself, and because you can only know yourself, and nobody else, you began assuming that you are God. It's that simple. Maybe we are God, but rationally speaking I don't think that's the case. Unless you believe in Alan Watts theory and his philosophy, but still there's a lot of holes in his theory. Basically what happened is you finally began aware of your existence and yourself which caused you to have anxiety about it. Also, the result of this usually ends up with depersonalization. Depersonalization is when you become very aware of yourself and you feel like you are looking outside your eyes, and you feel disconnected from the world and yourself. In order to cure this, I think, is by realizing is that you are only focusing on your eyes. Focus on all your senses instead. The way your body feels when it comes in contact with your environment. When you slowly begin doing this you will be brought back to reality, believe me. Also, most people who smoke pot that are blind or have some eye sight disability don't go through something like this.. Why?
Because they are not using their eyesight to judge reality, they don't experience visual hallucinations like we do, so they don't think they are looking through a television screen which means they don't start assuming they are God observing outside reality. That's all. I hope this helps people who read this. I know what you are going through. Don't worry. You are not alone in this.
sent vero exactly same experience
jay camps I've noticed that this same experience can reappear when you're not high. I think it has to do with your brain having a flash back. You don't have the exact hallucinations you have on weed, but the "loop" or "never ending geometric tunnel" feeling is still there. REMEMBER PEOPLE FOCUS on the OTHER SENSES BESIDE YOUR EYES. You are Not God. It's just your brain most likely playing a trick on you. Just think rationally and most likely you will be fine.
Dude Im going through this for couple of months. I cant but it in better words. This is exactly what is happening to me. I come from dysfunctional family where i was neglected and abandoned by parents and basically i denied my emotions all my life thus lived in this dead auto pilot mode. and the first realisation that I AM a single living entity and i am the one in control of myself just fucking freaked me out. I think its impossible to understand it until you experience it. Scariest shit ever. But you analyzed it so well i think of it the same way.
sent vero laced
Chicacherrycolalime I had derealization from weed like you. It would have lasted forever but I realized that its my fear thats putting me in this weird state i siddenly lost my brain fog and my mind was fully clear within 3 days.
I suffer from Mental Illness: PTSD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Depression, Mood Disorder NOS. I have horrible night terrors. thrashing around at night, yelling, covered in sweat drifting in and out of semi conscious and unconscious states. When I watched this video I realized I experience very similar things a couple times a week. The meds help a little. But no matter what I do... I live what this man is describing...
pray to God and he will help you!
Trevor Lindholm I said the exact same thing when I watched this video. I have associative identity disorder and bipolar disorder with psychotic features. I am manic and I haven't slept in 4 days. I've been hallucinating for the past 2 days. I see colors swirling the room, feeling detached from my physical body, paranoia, seeing people all around me, hearing people talk to me that aren't there and demons. When I look at someone their eyes turn black and their faces start to melt. I went into a catatonic state today and I stood in one place for over an hour. I know they are just hallucinations and I try to convince myself to stay calm. It's cool sometimes when I have good hallucinations, but the bad ones are a living hell.
hey any updates on your ptsd is it healed now
I experienced a similar trip last night. I felt like I was dying and that I would spend eternity caught in this nightmarish loop where I completely ceased. I took off all my clothes during the trip and when I came to, I felt such a sense of relief that I have never felt in my life.
I am so mind blown right, I literally had this EXACT trip everything you said was exactly what I experienced I can’t believe this right now…..
Mustve been Genjutsu
Dude, it straight up feels like one lmao
I just laughed so fking hard for about 5 mins straight.
Itachi can put you into a 5Me-O-Dmt trip real quick lmao
I was thinking when Itachi show the mangekio Sharingan for the first time
Comment is legendary. Well done sir
Didn’t know how disrupt his chakra to awaken himself lmao
Went there 6 years ago, truly humbling experience 😢
this new camera is some good shit
When he said "what if I excepted it? " That was exactly what he shiuldve done. I know it sounds crazy but my 4the shroom trip recently was my ego death trip. Until you experience it, you don't know how dark it is, but I'm a very inquisitive person. I didn't care that it was oure evil. I wanted answers. Why am I here? What is the highest of my capabilities ? Is there really an afterlife? Is this trip me dying in reality? Flames burned around me in a kitchen, there were 4's duplicating over and over in a window pain. Am I dying I asked as I felt as if my existence was fading, particle by particle. But, all of a sudden, it didn't matter anymore. I just wanted to find answer. I accepted what was happening. Then it subsided. I woke up to gross visuals of my friends faces. (Which I laughed at, honestly.) The whole day I was a zombie. Exhausted. My friends thought I was depressed. Really. I just spent the whole day piecing it together. The 2nd day after I awoke, feeling anew, enlightened, my anxiety for years faded, I felt fearless (after that feeling not much scares you). Everything was so beautiful. I felt so much love for everyone. Thoughts of what happens after death didn't matter. I just needed to live the most honest life, and be the most strongest, most adventurous person, until that time comes. Just live stop fearing. Be free. Pave your own way. For you're ultimately, in control.
According to a friend and shroom bro, I once muttered while in deep trance while on shrooms:
"Pick and select your experience ... free will."
It was the most profound lesson shrooms ever taught me, not only because of the lesson itself but how it went through my friend before my own consciousness. Not that it's magical or anything, merely just poetic in a way. But it is true, we are in control - we are the potential masters of our own experiences. I know, for a fact, that it's possible to fully control a trip in terms on how you warp your own perception of it. An analogy would be a lucid dream, but with the psychedelia effects taking the role of the dream being superimposed on normal reality - which you then can control. You have to meditate your way into this state of consciousness, but psilocin specifically allows for this tweak which allows you to become omnipotent over what you perceive and experience. A little bit of pure indica can help push you to this alternate breakthough of sorts.
WARNING: will induce a peak experience for a week, also will make fun things seem less fun as being an omnipotent God is pretty much the most ultimate short-term fun imaginable. another warning is for full psychosis, have strategies so you know what's imagined and real.
But it is true. We are after all in control.
I've never done a psychedelic before but what you said about forgiving people really spoke to me. Glad I can learn from your experience.
Edit: The not caring about people judging you thing is big for me to hear too.
Funny that you mention nudity. I remember when I was having my own crisis of sanity, my brain thought: "I would rather be naked in front of everyone I've ever met than experience another (seemingly infinite) second of this. Maybe it would stop if I got naked...". Luckily I stopped myself. Still embarassed that I asked my friend to spoon me, but I needed it.
Almost anyone who has had a bad trip has wanted to take their clothes off. For some reason, clothes feel like they're constricting you and they're uncomfortable
Thanks for sharing your experience man. I can't say I've ever had an experience like this on LSD, but I've never taken such a high dose before. All of my LSD experiences have been predominantly positive. However, one night I decided to take 9 grams of Thai Cubensis mushrooms with a friend when I was 17. These were very strong.
This was the first and only time I've ever had an ego death which was actually the most beautiful experience of my life, yet also the most terrifying. I also could not see with my eyes at one point and some of my past emotional trauma from a relationship I was in came right up in my face. My friend peaked long before I did, and he was having a terrible experience saying "the devil is inside of me, the devil is inside of me." He was puking and moaning, I tried to take care of him but I remember at one point I had to just let go and surrender to the experience.
At one point I called a friend from school, which was around 2 or 3am, maybe later. Yes, set and setting was not appropriate. Strangely enough the friend I called on the phone was awake. Because of his words I entered into total surrender of my ego and accepted my death, because I absolutely thought I was dying. My friend that was tripping with me was saying, "should we go to the hospital? Are we dying?". On the phone I asked my other friend who I had called, "Should I go to the hospital? Did I fry my brain? He laughed a little and said, "Just let them show you what they have to show you." As soon as he said this I completely surrendered, tears fell from my eyes and it was the most beautiful feeling of unity and truth that came over me, it was the truth that we are all god, that we're the infinite awareness of consciousness, that we are the universe experiencing itself through eternity. I told him, "It's so beautiful" as I was crying.
When I finally peaked, I lost consciousness and pissed my pants. What I perceived was myself as essentially some kind of pink ether ribbon, floating through eternity. What was happening from the outside was me flailing around in my bed covered in my own piss, slamming into the wall, perceiving myself as going through the wall. I was mumbling words about my ex girlfriend who had done me very wrong, who I still loved. The friend I had called came over to my house, and when I was going through this loss of consciousness they were trying to hold me down and keep me calm as I flailed around for a little bit. This is all I remember until I woke up later in the morning, still deeply frightened.
After this experience I was saturated with the deep fear I experienced in the trip, I was definitely traumatized by it. However, this fear fortunately subsided within a week and what was left was that lingering feeling of being one with all things. While surrendering during the trip, there was no separation between myself and anything in my environment, it was all me. I was god perceiving itself through eternity and it was amazing. For months I saw beauty in nature like never before, I was very calm and grateful. Any leaf, any tree, every blade of grass was sacred.
The residual feelings from this trip catapulted me into a deep spiritual worldview that is still with me today. I would sometimes get deep vibrations through the bottom of my spine up to the top of my head, like a jolt of electricity (this has happened again recently during the comeup on LSD). I began to meditate frequently and was able to reenter the sense of oneness with all things until it faded a year or so later. I tripped a couple times on lower doses during that year and each time I did I was right back to that experience of total unity. I would just sit and meditate, being in the state of total peace.
I'm 27 now and I haven't been meditating as I know I should, among other things. The awareness that we are all one, however, is still embedded in my heart and always will be. When you experience truth, it is the most familiar feeling.
A piece of advice to anyone undergoing a mushroom trip that they wish to stop; drink milk. If you've eaten mushrooms, the milk will somehow kill any psilocybin left in your stomach and cause the effects to dissipate fairly quickly, depending.
Psychedelics are a tool, and should be respected and treated as such as most of us who have done them understand. That night was both the most terrifying and beautiful experience of my life and I don't regret it at all. I am a better and wiser person because of that experience.
diatonicjon Thank you for sharing your experiences.. this is an incredible story?! And collates with so many others, that even some of us who have never taken mushrooms or alot of other mind altering substances..(LSD twice in the 80's..lol), leads me to really believe that yall DO have more insight..on life, than most of us? Ya know? So.. THANK You! I have JUST found this channel for the first time today.. and wow.. it's all so enlightening! 😁😉
If I see 'Read more' on a youtube comment, more often than not I'll pass it by. But your story was absolutely amazing and your description gave me a vivid picture, I felt it really deeply. Thank you so much.
I felt the same way on lsd. It's like we are all God. Everything is god.
Ego death is always intense but well worth it. Thanks for sharing.
diatonicjon I just want you to know you just changed my perception of life after reading this. You are right that we are all just the universe experiencing itself through eternity. Knowing this makes me more happy to be alive and also shows me how fucking beautiful our universe is and life is in general.
Having an outlet to talk about stuff like this makes it so much easier to process, in my experience.
I can't thank you enough for being so honest with us and telling us your thougts and feelings, because I'm sure I'm not alone when I say I have felt EXACTLY like you have, so I can relate a lot. You are a huge help, I hope only blessings for your life.
Knowing it is not uncommon for people to have these insane solipsistic nightmares has helped me come to terms with my own experience of going through one myself
I had a similar experience on 220 mics of lsd. It was toward the end of my trip, and I felt trapped in what I will describe as
"An Eternal Tragedy".... I even mumbled the words "it's an Eternal Tragedy" as tears came down my face uncontrollably.
The 1990 movie "Jacobs Ladder" dabbles in this scenario.... Check it out.
This quote by 14th century Meister Eckhart is in that movie "Jacobs Ladder" and it's an excellent summary of this nightmarish trip:
Eckhart saw Hell too. He said:
"The only thing that burns in Hell is the part of you that won't let go of life, your memories, your attachments. They burn them all away. But they're not punishing you", he said. "They're freeing your soul. So, if you're frightened of dying and ... you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth."
The message is to Let GO !
I did acid way back on 2000 on Christmas night. Stupidly did two plus a small handful of fresh shrooms. I enjoyed the first few hours then things went south and I haven't dared do it since. I've low dosed mushrooms and more recently 2C-b though. Those I can and do enjoy.
I had a bad trip on the 3rd of October. Shortly after i became normal again I became obsessed with what it all meant. I didn’t know other people had the same experiences as me until I looked up what happened to me. I have been trying to find closure with it because I feel like a part of me is changed or gone and I’ll never be the same because of it. I have accepted it. I understand I have been suppressing something in my life. I had to let the horrors that the experience showed me go. They would do nothing for me but haunt me and cause me to have increased stress. I felt extremely depressed for some time, I felt lonely, and scared that it would happen again when I would have flashbacks. I don’t feel so alone anymore or misunderstood anymore since I have related with many other people and their experiences. It’s can be a real struggle reaching out to people, telling them what happened, describing the feelings I felt, and how real it all was to me. I hope In time I can turn the experience into a positive, through true acceptance of the ENTIRE experience, and then let it go. It really caught my attention when you said you needed to stop forgiving others at the cost of your own self, and you had felt embarrassed or insecure. Live on, and be at peace.
dude I had this same experience but on a very strong super strong edible. it was like if time didnt exist and nothing was real... the only thing that matters is this second, now, everything else is already set in parrell universes. I found myself caught in limbo like you said and I saw my self in every second of my life, still in limbo in every second. scared the hell out of me. Word can't never explain it fully
I also had that feeling where I was falling. didn't see anything but just bright yellow and orange. hold on and then just said Fuck it and I fell, then held on and fell again. seems like we had the same trip...
dude i had kinda the same trip on L, i could saw the past and the future of my life in fractals of parrell dimensions and i was stucked in the present with visuals out of control and with the feeling of which everything every happend to me in the past and everything that will happen next is allready set which was created by my mind in real time. i also just could watch myself dying over and over again, getting out of my body and back... my experience of mind in the present moment was the only thing that existed in a dying body
I've tried 1000mg, 500mg edibles, ego death is nothing compared to edibles
Nnnbfb Nssns lol you’re on something bruh ego death is levels above anything weed can do to you
Wtf you guys smoking? Shit like that has never happened to me not even when greening out
The part where you say that you have let people take advantage of you by being too nice and generous and in turn that is you not valuing yourself is so right. It's been hard for me to do that and it's something I want to work on to. Hearing you say that really puts it back into my mind and is kicking my ass into gear to live by that from now on. Maybe I don't make sense but I related to a bunch of what you said you learned about yourself in this vid! Thanks for sharing!
right as you said "send you down into inner darkness".. it went to an ad, and the screen blacked out. WTFWTFWTFWTFWTF!
same
that's why I use adblock :D
same
Same that freaked me out lmao.
You are a great youtuber, I'm soo glad you've taken this experience in a positive way to grow from it. Don't beat yourself up for having fear or embarrassment, it was all meant to happen for who you are meant to be. No need to make things perfect they are perfect as it is, your content is amazing but I don't come here for just that, I like listening to you talk and feel that connection; I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels that way. You are beautiful Inside and out (I really meant that 🔥🔥🔥). Take care of your wellbeing first 😘
man that camera you're using is the best I've seen on RUclips, crazy sharp quality, feels like im watching a professionally shot documentary
I had a similar experience when it came to the multiple deaths/constant falling. I had not slept well AT ALL for three days, gotten drunk, and then taken a relatively small dose of LSD without doing any research (last day of finals was over, could you blame me?) . It wasn't a great experience, to say the least. Another person who took tab was very rowdy, and even tried to commit suicide. All i could do was lay on the couch and pray for it to be over and I ended up "falling asleep" I woke up after three crazy nightmares (pain ending with suicide, then another dream where life was an illusion and it was over. I accepted these two deaths, however my third dream was filled with intense pain (a voice told me i would die when i felt the most pain a living being can experience) and I was very afraid. As soon as someone walked into the room i was in, it was over.
I had multiple bruises on my face, the visualizations were wild, and I was a mess. My friends told me I had gotten off the couch and into a room and started to "spin" insanely fast, knocking into everything and harming myself, and eventually I stopped moving completely at which point everyone freaked out. This is when the nightmares began. I just remembered that I actually heard them crying out to me in one of the dreams too. Everyone turned out fine, except for the bruising and a week of jaw/tooth pain. I am far too amazed by what I had experienced to be traumatized, but it's also not a pleasant memory.
hey any updates? have u recovered from that trauma
“The drug was still in my body” “the drug was stealin my body”
I find you to be extremely articulate and enjoyed hearing about your experience. I have learned a great deal. You are a lovely person. ☮️
The part where you said "it's just the three of us forever " really resonated with me ,I had very similar moment . Interesting
Wow this is mind blowing for me, because i had exactly the same experience, i sit together with two other guyes on the edge of a cliff and there was these voice whos telling me "This is everything that exist and it will last for ever. How long are you able to handle this?"
And the same as he says, in this moment it was incredible horrible but after a few month i was able to see the potential of healing that comes out of this experience.
I had the EXACT same trip 2 days before my birthday 9/11 on 9/9 at 2:32am my whole life changed my friend spoke of god while we were driving started tongue music, i turned into a dead end road got out and flipped out,,,,,,,,calmed down and at 3:14 my whole world collapsed around me when i noticed i might end up like my dad more work then play more my money time then my child time and i stopped in the middle of the road hopped out and i ran for my life from what i saw
I'm noticing a lot of people remembering this. Including myself. Incredibly fascinating.
I had the same feel but it was in a room with 3 friends. That is it this is all I felt that. But what I made myself believe on top of that was that we figured a way to take turns to live forever. And there was happiness at first but then it got so sad. Few seconds or minutes later I felt that we were all taking turns living while the rest of us stayed in that room. I feel like it was my way of trying to control the fear of death. This moment happened later on in my long trip if I'm not mistaken.
Holy fuck me too. What does it mean? Are we all just three gods trying to work together towards something? For some reason I felt the need to go to some kind of spiritual war because there was someone trying to destroy our means of life. I started to think that my mind was just part of someone else's mind and that I was part of some bigger plan to save the world from something i couldn't comprehend. Its because of this that I started questioning more about this reality that I see and idk what to do about what I saw now that I'm out of the trip. I hate how I only remember some things from my trip and not all. I forget most of it but I think that's because you need something like lsd to put you back into that dimension, but honestly I'm terrified to go back. Idk what to do
As always, these videos find their way to me at the most synchronistic of times.
I honestly thought I had died that night from an Overdose and I experienced everything you did for some reason watching your video makes me feel better now like I’m not actually alone. Thank you for Sharing your story. ❤️
Dormamu, I've come to die. Over and onver again. Glad you recovered.
I was struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts for a while, and I tripped acid with MDMA and at some point at home alone, I literally saw this demon manifestation of that depression and sadness telling me to kill myself. I got this catharsis knowing that demon in my subconscious is always going to be there, but I had the power to just ignore it.
jakenbaked87 Sounds like “ Toxic Shame” to me
Wow
that's rlly interesting also that it exists as a separate entity and isn't consuming you must be helpful
man i know christianity has a bad rep in the west, but i would really encourage you to research the truth of the gospel and jesus christ... this experience you have had actually has a framework in my faith. demons and angels are real, but they only have the power to influence. through the covering and renewal of jesus, they can become powerless to have any real influence over you. jesus came to set people free, not to bind them in religious slavery or witchcraft (which is a real thing)... anyways. praying for you my brother. seek the person of jesus, i think you will find the Father God has been seeking you all along.
kyle johnson how do you know your religion is real? What about the religions that came before yours that everyone was sure was real?
Have you opened your heart to Jesus Christ and he has manifested in front of you? Because when people say they ask him for help and he helps... it more seems like a physical manifestation of positive thinking....
There’s literally no way to know god is real. I’m sorry. It’s impossible to know. It’s a random story (like all the religious stories that came before it - Greek mythology etc) to help structure life in a time where things were very very dark. There is not one logical reason to believe it so why do you? Not being rude, I’m open to the possibility of god/gods. I can just admit nobody knows for Sure.
Why do you act sure when it’s impossible
I swear to god, I had this same exact trip two weeks ago. What the fuck.
And ended up in the hospital lol
Luke Hall damn thats rough, you feeling better fam?
Had the same kind of experience on amanita muscaria. It was like being stuck alone in eternity. Freaked me out made me want to believe in God more.
being stuck in eternity is one of the main reasons I re-evaluated most of the things in my life. Can't say it wasn't frightening as he'll feeling trapped forever but when I 'came back' it felt like I was reborn.
I really don't know what it is but I had a trip very similar to the one he talks about in this video a few weeks ago off an eighth of shrooms (im a very thin guy) and I was convinced I was the only person in the world and when I would talk to my friends they would be talking like during a conversation but it seemed like I would notice they were acting, almost like faking who they were and then they would look at me and they would be saying everything I was thinking as if they were just a projection of my mind or some shit and it was scary af but it wasn't like I could control what they were saying it was like me talking to me if that makes sense(probably doesn't) but when it seemed like they were talking to me they were telling me that they were me and shit it's really hard to explain and crazy af but I was really scared cause I didn't want to be alone and I missed my family and friends cause it felt like they were all fake or some shit and I blacked out a lot during the trip 10/10tho
I absolutely love how open minded you are, and how open you are with your experiences. These are very personal and intimate moments in your life, where you are willing to discuss it with others on the internet, knowing that in actuality human beings are actually so lovely; reading these comments makes me feel so good. I am very glad for all you kind souls out there. And thanks for making this content, it is truly needed today, and an amazing step to the legalisation of psychedelics.
Sometimes it’s happy and laughy and visually pleasing and in awe and there’s those certain times where we have some cobwebs that need cleaning out and unfortunately people like us that enjoy and try and utilize these sort of things have to go through these experiences. Keep up the good work my friend and much love to you and your channel
I experience deep loneliness sometimes while on cannabis/tripping but I realized this is good. There is this hole in me for a purpose so I will share myself with others. And let another share their vulnerable self with me. Basically the loneliness is there so we will love and open to being loved.
We have this insane new age belief in the last 50+ years that we should be whole and complete within ourselves and this is completely illogical. Just look at the food in your fridge that is 1-10 thousand people's work and love. Enmeshment isn't healthy but neither is not feeling need for others.
Good point about the food.
Thats beautiful
It’s a balance. It’s both. Enjoying your own company and that if others.
preach!
DUUUDE, I LOVE YOU. I took a mushroom trip that ended pretty badly a few months ago and watching this video reminded me too do the best i can to turn bad experiences into learning experiences. Now I feel so much better about my perspective on it, so thank you bro
so glad you're back after the last video bro! fight trough it! learn from it! come back stronger!
learned so much from you and so happy to be alive to be with you right now on our journeys!
Hi Adam. I've watched a lot of your videos over the last month to gain insight into the human experience. From both the Psychedelic and mostly non-Psychedelic perspective. I still have a lot to figure out, but what I can say is forget the confusion, keep working towards that which brings you love a little mystery is the true wonder of the world.
If you can be anything, be the hug of a warm blanket.
Love, peace and a thank you for all of us you've helped along the way. Eoiñ
I’ve had a similar experience ... the ego trying to contemplate eternity is like a small transistor radio channelling the entire national grid.
will always support you adam no matter the quality of your videos i beleive strongly in what youre doing here bro and i hope you get to healing yourself bro. good vibes homie.
I have that ptsd feeling from my bad trip. I’m only now 3 years later at the point where I can tell people the story, now that I have accepted it I can see why the bad trip happened and I know what it meant but god. I never took psychedelics again. I had to never talk to these people again because it was so dark and I was and I am still embarrassed about what they had to witness
What happened bro I had a bad trip recently and Its messed me up
I had a serious first trip that went extremely bad because I smoked weed on my trip, and for a while I felt lost, until I’ve been doing my own research, found out that finding yourself through meditation and progress is really helping me so far in my journey, for a while I felt deprived and scared because of how scary it was, but I’m putting it all behind me while working through it, keeping in balance, keeping the oil in the spoon while being aware of my surroundings, improve your individuality and just BE that good person that you are, it’ll all be okay soon, I wish you luck on your journey to healing, and I love you, be safe and be around loving people :) ❤️✨
Loneliness is an illusion of the ego. Source is not lonely because it is full of itself in the most unconditionally loving way. Our true state of being requires nothing outside of itself.
Erin Lyons "Oh man, that's deep."
How is, what is ?
Erin Lyons amazing
Erin Lyons, we should talk, you know some shit.
Our true state of being is with God. Our ego tells us otherwise but surrendering to God is the most liberating feeling you can experience. Yes, I said liberating
I've learned a little bit from your experience. The embarrassment talk was relatable. Good advice.
I'll always be grateful for you posting your experiences on here! Thank you!
Holding you down was the worst thing your friends could have done. Thanks for sharing your experience and I hope you are healing slowly but surely.
This was so beautiful. I empathize with your ideas on such a deep level. I just recently was a witness to a similar thing with my friend. It was my first time with psychedelics, we took an eighth of some shrooms. 8 of us were in Dolores Park, San Francisco but only 3 of us tripping. My friend started out fine, then he started yelling for someone to help him and that he didn't want to die. Literally yelling at the top of his lungs in the middle of the park. I was feeling fine but at this point, all this shit was stressing me out so I went to a different part of the park. Eventually the cops showed up, he was naked at the time and we were trying to redress him. He was out of control by this point. He couldedn't be calmed down, he became violent and not responding to things we said. The police tried to restrain him, but he fought and didnt want to be restrained. Eventually the abulance got there so a total of 10 people were around him to restrain him on the the strettcher. He ends up bitting one of the cops during this exchange and they put a spit mask over his face. All the while he is screaming he needs help. Yeah one hell of a time for my first trip. I was chilling, felt all of the things you talked about healing. It was just a time for me to actually live and expreience life for what it is instead of holding myself back from all of the insecurities. My friend was alright though, I still don't know what happened or if he got charged with anything.
Adam, I'm glad to hear you're feeling better.
***Mental illness and psychedelics studies below***
I've listed the titles of a number of peer-reviewed studies that are about the possible connection between mental illness and psychedelics. I made a previous post with links to the studies but I don't think Adam's RUclips filter allows for such links. Cut and paste the titles into Google and the links should show up. Sorry if you're not able to get full access to the studies. University and research data bases often have restricted access unfortunately and I'm unable to post the PDF files on here. If Adam were to change his filter for this video I might be able to post the links to all the studies..
Research papers (try Google Scholar):
1. Acute Psychosis Induced by Psychotomimetic Drug Abuse
2. Lysergic Acid Diethylamide: Side Effects and Complications
3. Psychoses Precipitated by Psychotomimetic Drugs
4. Untoward Reactions to Lysergic Acid Diethylamide (LSD) Resulting in Hospitalisation
5. Hallucinogenic drugs as precipitants of schizophrenia
6. LSD Psychosis or LSD-Induced Schizophrenia?
7. Prolonged Adverse Reactions to Lysergic Acid Diethylamide
8. Substance Use, Suicidality, and Adolescent-Onset Schizophrenia: An Israeli 10-Year Retrospective Study
9. Serotonergic hallucinogens as translational models relevant to schizophrenia
10. An animal model of schizophrenia based on chronic LSD administration: old idea, new results
11. The LSD Syndrome
12. Ego functioning and acute adverse reactions to psychoactive drugs
Just to be clear, some of these papers are from the 60s-70s when research into psychedelics was much more prevalent and their methodologies would be considered a little outdated by today's standards. Also, there are some studies out there that don't point to any link between psychedelic drug use and the onset of mental illness. So far, Adam has only made reference to these types of studies in his videos but I think it is important that we consider the body of research out there and not just cherry picked elements. What I'm trying to say is that the research out there is still ongoing and is far from conclusive. Just want to say thanks to Adam for his videos bringing more awareness out there.
SuperWils2010 most of these are outdated and not relevant today.
Bollog Nyessy, I'd have to respectfully disagree. There are at least 5 studies above that were conducted within the last 10 years and the rest are well known papers which continue to be referred to and cited by researchers. For that reason, they are not irrelevant today.
Exactly, people do their best to reject cold hard facts that drugs will f*** you up mentally! Same goes for weed, same goes for meth etc..
I had a religious experience on acid that showed me the unreality, evil and pointlessness of this world: endlessly repeating death rebirth suffering loops until union with the creator god, Satan; who didn't create consciousness, just trapped it here to empower himself.
I argued with Satan through my friend (Satan spoke through him) for six hours and demanded him to let me out of this horrible universe. I didn't get out and cried in the end. I was diagnosed as being psychotic afterwards. I acknowledged being either enlightened or insane the whole time. I'm still not sure which one it is (maybe both, the truth is absurd).
I had the exact limbo state feeling you had. I smoked way too much super strong weed and I had a panic attack and tripped super intensely. Felt like I was the only person in the world and that I had died, and now I am stuck in a never ending loop, at one point I thought I was now on reverse slowly living my life backwards never ending. But towards the end I had a huge revelation, a huge happiness burst where I thought I had all the answers to life. The trip went from the scariest feeling on the planet to the best feeling in about 10 minutes
super strong weed did that? I've never heard a story about weed doing that to anybody. Are you sure it wasn't laced?
@@vlitsz my family did it and were fine. It's just a paranoia attack I get. Some kind of psychosis that my body just reacts in that way with
@@RubenBJJ96 ohhh makes sense, have you returned to smoking weed after that or did you quit completely?
@@vlitsz so I've smoked weed around 5 or 6 times and these bad experiences have only happened 2 or 3 times, I haven't smoked it since my last bad experience. But it's interesting because at first it's the worst feeling of fear and paranoia I could imagine, but then when I'm on the come up of the experience it's the best most positive experience I can possibly imagine. It's so strange and un-explainable
@@RubenBJJ96 yep, I completely understand, this actually happens to me quite commonly on shrooms whenever I have a bad trip, I have no idea why
My first and only psychedelic trip was way too many mushrooms with strangers in a variety of locations I had never been to before, in a foreign country, and a few other people had bad trips as well as me. I was so overwhelmed that I never really went back and learned from the experience, just tried to forget it. And yet just recently as I've been practicing letting go of some severe fear and sadness that seems to wash me away, I feel like ive suddenly become aware that the trip really affected me in a negative way and planted seeds of thoughts that have latched onto unprocessed traumatic emotions from my past and grown over the past few years. A whole load of anxiety all of a sudden seems to me to have stemmed from that experience. Realising this, and realising that I can in fact look at that experience and learn what it was I was afraid of, define it and give it it's place, makes it so much easier to let go of it and move on in my life. It's incredible the suffering I have endured because I have repeatedly chosen to ignore the experience - it's continued to beat me over the head with it's lessons until I (finally, now) turn around and listen so I can grow.
I'm glad you came to the realization that the channel is only an outlet for your experiences, because it's so easy to think it's a demanding pressure on your life that has to be taken care of and worried over and stressed out about. This channel is amazing, the content is out there and people are watching it in droves, but it doesn't run your life.
Adam, you did it. You experienced psychedelic hell at it's purest extent. that's pretty badass. you'll make it back from this. it's inevitable. i'm almost proud of you ;)
Thank you for sharing your experiences
Your trip is like the dreams that I've had my whole life. The failing over and over... It's such a weird feeling.
A lesson in vulnerability and accepting you’re still loved.
i wouldint care if you didn't post for months, you take risk to make sure WE don't fuck up too much, your like a teacher to us and sometimes teachers need a break to gather more material, cant wait for more stories, hope you get better!
I love it that adam has 2 chanales,one about his life and one for learning.keep it up.
The "good" thing about bad trips seems to be that you feel the urge to tell someone. So you show this person your most humble side. Such experinces really make me want to reach out to others with the hope that they will listen and not judge. And I want others to reach out for me and I will understand.
Yeah, i passed an experience really close to yours, and i all this time i thought i was the only one thinking "it is all me, nothing exists, just me"
MrSteroids1 agree, but its hard as fuck to truly accept :D
Brick Top Not so much man, time heals it pretty well, just have patience :)
+MrSteroids1 It's named Lucy after Lucifer, and that was Lucifer's lie to Eve.
***** It is used in the occult to commune with spirits, and my personal experience says otherwise :}
i've had that feeling with weed and it was pretty heavy
only did shrooms once and it was the most "real" and positive experience in my life, while weed tend to leave me with bad, looping, uncontroling thoughs and feelings, even that not as traumatic as psychadelics may be
The information put fourth on your channels is one of the best resources I have found to date. Thank you for doing what you do.
18:13 I needed to hear that, Thank you.
I know exactly what you mean when you said dying and being back again and dying and being back again. I had a trip that had that element very strongly throughout. Very humbling, I was convinced that this repeating world I was seeing before me was a loop and was what death was, this coupled with loneliness of knowing nobody around me understood what was going on. I would observe people around me and realized everyone is just trying to make it through this life with some form of meaning.
"I'm pretty sure I was naked at one point. Haven't shaved my bush in like 2 or 3 months..." omgggg lolll
Yeah, and his penis turned into a demon and he started punching it. I saw his friend refer to that in another vid.
Numinous what video
Numinous Please tell us!
think the story about punching his own dick was a video when him and his frined were on amphetamines
when it feels like everyone you love is leading you off a cliff
Its absolutely terrifying. I have experienced it three times and to be honest i think its real
The fact that he can verbalize it clearly from what he’s experiencing is wild. And even then it’s just not the SAME. High IQ man here
you literally just explained half of my own bad trip and i feel 100% better and less lonely, thank you so much for making this video i feel like a weight lifted off my shoulders knowing that someone else understands