Steven Seagal's The Glimmer Man Is So Bad It Has An Incredible MLM Opportunity - Worst Movie Ever
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- Опубликовано: 11 апр 2024
- I'm not saying Steven Seagal's movie The Glimmer Man is a pyramid scheme, because those only take your money. Seagal's The Glimmer Man takes your money, your dignity, your soul, and any chance of another human being ever looking at you with anything other than disgust. If you've seen this movie, you're an awful person and you should be ashamed.
#stevenseagal #worstmovie #badpeople 
Приколы
Check out my Patreon: www.patreon.com/Space_Ice
17 likes 😬
Hey!
Ever hear of a Costner movie called,
3 Days to Kill?
Why have you not done any of Roland Emmerich's films? Moonfall, 2012, 10,000 BC? Those films are D0G$HlT!!
😂🤣🤣 Your The Goat
bro where is house shark, its legit a good movie, youll actually enjoy it, you owe me an house shark review, im one of your oldest fans, i love you
Seagal: "Tell my wife I'm alive and well."
"Fuck you, she's suffered enough..."
😂
This movie was made before Big Waddle in Little Vachina.
😂😂😂
😆😆
😂
The Never Slimmer Man
You gotta change the thumbnail now, SpaceIce. 😂
LOL
The Dimmer Man
You’d be just as fat if you ever tried powdered deer penis. I cannot believe that the part of this movie that stood out the most was the crap line about powdered deer penis, but it explains a lot about seagull.
😅
"My God, this is so much easier when they're not screaming." 🤣
It took me 3.4 seconds to register and then it hit me - hard.
Holy fuck! LOL
Classic space ice lmao
Same 🤣
“Where he fires THEN aims. But you can’t argue with results.”
That guy saying "" bruce Lee but better" without breaking in laugh deserves an oscar
I actually thought he said fatter 😂😂
Buttters
@@Coup1314me too but i was suspicious cause i dont belive Seagal would aloww even a mild joke at his expense
Not even the wayans can write such amazing comedy
They actually had to combine two takes into one because they never got the shot where he said both due to the laughter.
The mega blockbuster movie were he showed the world
That line never gets old
I do this all the time now
@@jramos4803 MY LIFE IS THE MEGA BLOCKBUSTER HIT MOVIE WHERE I SHOWED THE WORLD
Every time I watch one of these I say it out loud with the video
FOR NO REASON
HIT movie.
Brian Cox was held at gunpoint and had his family kidnapped to be forced into this piece of trash. He STILL said no. Then they threatened him with having to watch one of Seagal movies and he immediately caved and still was the best part of the movie.
What about poor Bob Gupton? Seagal must have threatened to take away his Shawshank Redemption royalties 😅
You don't just say no to sensei Seagal.
@@gp2917He's sitting in same desk from that movie
My opinion of Seagal is so low that my subconcious even started making fun of him. No joke, he appeared in a dream I had a few weeks ago: For some reason, my brain pictured him walking up a hill, carrying a heavy-looking bag on his shoulders... but a closeup revealed that this was actually a stuntman and Fat Seagal was just holding a big bag of chips, visibly struggling.
Hahahhaha this is my favorite post
🤔 I knew it! It had to be a large sack of 🥔. That is why Fatman had a bag of chips! 😮
I fell asleep watching one of these reviews and had a dream where Space Ice reviewed a Seagal movie where he ate a baby.
@@captainmidnightgaminglike peter griffin when he ate a baby thinking it was fried chicken😂
Seagal has 2 new movies in production as of this date. The ride never ends!
Source?
I'm so excited to hear this news, not because I'll watch that crap but because Steven is helping Space Ice to feed us more of these videos 😂
Best news of 2024 so far.
Thank the Lord!
No way! I thought he was done, is he making them from Russia?? I hope customs bars him from returning to the States on the grounds of "Too Embarrassing" haha
The fact that this is Seagal "in his prime" makes it even funnier. He's been awful from the get go 😂
he was alright up to under seige then fell off hard
I think this was past his prime.
Above the law and under siege were his prime.
His first 5 movies were all decent, then it was downhill from there!
Compared to what he's been making past 20 years this is gold standard.
@@themonsterunderyourbed9408 To be fair, it was also a lightning in a bottle movie, with co-stars like tommy lee jones and gary busey, it's hard for even seagal to ruin it.
“They called him the Glimmer Man. You would see it in the jungle and then it would be gone.”
“The Glimmer would be gone?”
“No - the Jungle”
That's impossible! Segal has never eaten a vegetable in his life.
@@michael2636lmao
THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY FUC*%ING SENSE SO IF ITS A STEVEN SEAGULL MOVIE
THEN IT MUST BE FUC$ING TRUE!
@@michael2636Hey now, I believe potatoes are vegetables, and French fries are made of potatoes.
They call him The Glimmer Man because he doesn't have a glimmer of talent.
Blessed be the day when Space Ice uploads a new Steven Seagal hit piece.
MEGA BLOCKBUSTER HIT MOVIE!
Dude its a megablockbuster hit movie!
Lmao
And it's still better than anything Disney can make in 2024 🤣
Actually, forgetting space ice catchphrase is super easy, barely an inconvenience @@vitokorsic4372
@@LordEharemoving 10 sins
This is the movie where at first he refused to have his character engage in any violence (because Seagal said he was Buddhist and therefore pacifist). But the director convinced him that it would be a GOOD thing if his character (brutally) killed the bad guys because then they could be reincarnated and do better in their next life. And he was like, "Yep, that checks out."
Like...???
How does Seagal's mind even _work?_ 😂
Actually I think he didnt get convinced. He shot him, without killing him. But they added the kill in post, where they recorded that funny sounding death wail.
Like a multiple sclerosis patient throwing darts at a dartboard..
I remember the actor talking about it on a podcast, that was a total shitshow due to Segal’s drama.
@@TheGary108 basically like any other Seagal movie.
"but f off, he's on a role " ❤
I’ve never seen a man who just has NO CHEMISTRY with any of his scene partners EVER, Seagal!
He doesn't even have chemistry with himself
It’s not a partner but someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing and completely incompetent but yet Sensei Seagal is schooling them on the ways of brutality. The funny thing is most of the time the other actors are more serious and professional looking than Seagal.
He has no chemistry, only over nutrition.
@@Dan-di9jdYeah, this is the sad thing about these movies: most of them involve a whole bunch of people who are more charismatic and interesting than him, but they have to share a screen with, well, him
The slappity slap, the roly poly, the shuteye shooting - this is classic Seagal and a beautiful breakdown by Space Ice
Every time he says "mega blockbuster hit movie" I get chills down my spine
It's like a mini dopamine hit
Don't forget about the part where an actor showed the world a thing!
Watching older vids where it's not there just seems weird now.
@erikhawkke4861 the older vids are better, though.
No cap
I'm genuinely afraid that one day Space Ice run out of Seagal movies 🤣🤣
There's always Transformers movies.
Considering Seagal is still making movies, don't bet on it.
There's a mountain 50's scifi's to go after
Change his voice, write new jokes and do them all over again. You know, Seagal shit.
@@SirDistic He's now in Russia I'm sure that no longer he's producing.
"He killed 6 families, we call him the family man" hahahah LMAO, this got me rolling.
Plus two lmao
"They tell him for the last time, it's not a strip club." ROFL!
"So does everyone, take a fucking number!"
🤣
I have been going through very difficult times over last six months… three days ago I found this channel, yesterday my wife told me that she hasn’t seen me laughing like this in a very long time. I just hope we see more reviews like this. Let’s laugh together and stay strong.
You got this 👍
I hope nothing but the best for you brother! Stay strong! Make everyday like what seagal is, your bitch.
Stay strong brother
Now I need to watch JCVD dancing for 17 hours straight to purify my mind from Seagal
😆
I hate to disappoint you, but it will only feel like 17 seconds!
It is so much easier when they aren't screaming
ikr
"Like Bruce Lee but only better" you cant imagine how much that dialogue gave me a thousand deaths in a matter of seconds. Truly Steven Steagal is a masterful writer
4:41 "all their crying really worked up an apetite" 🤣🤣🤣
Steven brings dishonor to all sea gulls, just by his name.
It's so lucky that Seagal always carries 500 ft of rope, carabiners, a set of concrete anchors, a harness, and a belay device on him at all times! Otherwise it might have seemed rather silly how he managed to rappel down the side of a building during an active shoot-out!
So THAT'S why he looks so fat now. (Huh? He just did it in this movie? Oh.)
@@mrblonde609found a sifu seagal defender😂😂😂
Don't forget some cookies. He fuckin loves cookies
Wait the bad guys are Russians?
@@mrblonde609 Worse ?, the uploader is simply making these movies watchable and entertaining.
I wish once, just ONCE, someone in these movies would be like, "Dude, WTF are you wearing?"
If I showed up anywhere wearing a chinese mumu and monk beads, I would be expecting questions much less be taken seriously.
Most police lieutenants wear them.
He isn't wearing a Chinese mumu bro, he's wearing a Chinese menu
My wish is that just once, a stunt double would actually punch him and refuse to play "let Seagal flip me around". Oh to be a fly on the wall in that moment!
Making fun of Seagal's clothing and accessories are low hanging fruits. Easy pickings.
His outfits are always inappropriate and out of place, even in scenes where he's "blending in" as this normal dude. Take that prison movie where he's just wearing a completely different outfit from everyone else and no one even asks him, "Hey dude, how you get approved to wear that?" Yet we're to believe that everyone would be easily tricked to believing that he's not some undercover cop dude trying to get information from everyone.
I love the way you draw out Seagal's name like at 2:42. "Saaaa-gal".
And that Groundhog Day reference was fantastic.
Steven Seagal, Uwe Boll and Neil Breen in one movie ... the perfect storm
And a spittin' spark plug.
with M.Nightshitalong as special guest director, Rob Zombie and McGee co writing the script
No "Perfect Storm" was Clooney and Wahlberg, wasn't it?? 😅
Don't go Bollistic now.
The Perfect Disaster!
The "chicken run" sound effect killed me, LOL!
WalkingSquidward.mp4
The dispatch was clairvoyant. She said it was a suicide even though it was a hostage situation that ended with the threat of suicide.
"Tell my wife I'm alive!" F@$k you she suffered enough!. 😂😂😂😂😂😂That had me dying!
“Slappety slap “ 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The fact Executive Decision hasn’t been covered yet by Space Ice, saddens me.
It has all the qualifications for being The Greatest Movie of all Time. However, while Steven Seagal's early death was widely praised by critics and audiences, the fact that he's in the greatest movie ever creates a paradox that Space Ice needs more time to unravel.
@@BulletTooth504speaking of Greatest Movie of All Time, can't wait for him to cover his "Oscar Winning Masterpiece" that is Machete
Exactly I've been saying that but gave up on it
It's more of a Kurt Russell movie as he's the one starring. Seagal's more of a supporting role and doesn't do much except being killed off early.
"Kurt Russell's Executive Decision is so awesome you'll be glad that they decided to kill off Seagal early in the movie."
"With no time or ability to think" ROFL that was a damn good line
"like Bruce Lee only better" You know Seagal wrote that line in himself. Great work as always, and always one of the best things about Fridays is the next "Mega blockbuster Film" you bless us with
"What does that mean?"
It means SLAPPIDY-SLAP!
haha this had me rolling! Ah bless your lil heart, Space Ice :)
Seagal started the whole "Black Belt in aikido" story back in the '80s. It's been letting him destroy armed opponents ever since. Whether they be packing knives, guns or rocket launchers, sensei Seagal will bitch-slap them to death.
I've been holding back for a while now.
So, how many of those f*cking "films" are out there now? I'm starting to get the feeling that Seagal's putting them out quicker than Space Ice can even react to them.
Seagal was money laundering for the mob during this time
I checked on google and it says at least 55 movies. IMDB lists only 40 though.
@@izanami3793 15 Seagal movies so bad, IMDB had to ban them from being listed.
And more are in production.
They are a money laundering scheme.
Space Ice has accomplished the horrific yet impressive feat of making me grateful there are so many Steven Segal movies. Truly a world first.
Seagal saves a suicidal maniac by crushing him under a ton of Seagal.
Probably didn't help his emotional well-being.
Honestly, it's no joke. I can't tell you how many times I've used SLAPPITY SLAP! to save my life and disarm up to 4 goons at once . Pretending to tell them a secret is a great way of getting them close
and just like Segal, you learned that when you were a navy seal/secret agent/fbi cop for 20 years, right? :D
I appreciate thugs that are so curious to learn new things
@@Ysckemia I actually taught it to them. All of them. All at once.
He LITERALLY stooge slapped them.
04:00 was such a dangerous looking stunt. I can't believe they didn't switch out the actors for mannequins given the force of that slappity.
This played at movie theater I worked at in 1996, barely anyone in any showing.
Space Ice, i recently discovered this channel and i have been on a marathon ever since, i have to say i even start laughing just by reading the titles of your videos, thank you for your awesome content
The Pulp Fiction car scene reference at 8:58 was perfect. This is why I rewatch these like 2 or 3 times, Iceman packs so much Seagal hatred into these that you always miss something first time around.
Steven Seagal MEGA BLOCKBUSTER HIT MOVIE!!!!!!
WHERE HE SHOWED THE WORLD!!
Hey, this movie made $41 Million dollars. Granted it was on a budget of $45 Million so it lost $4 Million.
@@SirDistic how drug dealers launder money
@@SirDistic The only way they spent 45 million dollars on this movie is if they had to pay for seagal's catering, actually that makes alot more sense now.
If it was the Dinner Man, it would never end.
*Edit*
Take 2:
If it was the Dinner Man, it would end like The Langoliers, except the mouths would all be Steven Seagul, eating the entire universe.
Ok this comment is criminally under-loved
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Especially if Dinner was a Sushi Girl.
"only if they all bunch up and get really close"
🤣🤣🤣
"Starts with a quick message for the audience" - You lose. As soon as I heard that, I knew Space Ice was going to be in fine form for this one.
"Slap, Slap, Slap... double Tap" 😂
😂
HOW DO THESE KEEP GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME?!
Because Seagal gets funnier by the day
I thought I was tired of it then this video had me laughing almost the whole way through
@@notfromhere8889stick with us, we need the Ice Man to get more people who appreciate this comedy.
It's unreal
This is so good!
I have to admit that back in the days i really enjoyed this in the cinema. But i was young, dumb, and highly intoxicated, so take that as excuse.
accepted 🔥😄
3:09 I laughed way too hard at this line🤣😂🤣
The Bullshido master's arrogance at its culmination. It was released in 1996, right after Under Siege 2. You can sense from Seagal's acting that he really saw himself as the biggest action star since Bruce Lee.
In this movie they say ''he's better than Bruce Lee
@@KingfishStevens-di9ji Indeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed (as Funaki used to say)
Which is wrong, because Seagal doesn't do what any brilliant action star can (though this movie is from the time when Steven Seagal was a decent actor, if you ignore On Deadly Ground and pretend it never existed).
Must have been tough for Keenen Ivory Wayans knowing that his funniest joke will never be a bigger joke than Sifu Seagal
1:58 My wife when she sees Steven Seagull movies. 😂👍💯
I just discovered Space Ice's channel 2 days ago - and I've now watched 43 straight Steven Seagal videos. 😂 I can't get enough of them. It's so absurd and hilarious
The only RUclips channel I get genuinely excited and happy when they drop a new video
Ikr? Most make me sad 😢
Pitch Meeting and Ozzyman Reviews can change that!
@@gp2917Pitch meeting is decent but Space Ice is a different level…
Fridays have a meaning again for me.
“Does a magic trick” totally got me. 😂😂
The warden from Shawshank redemption must have a damn gambling problem to be in this shitshow!!
SPACEICE.... i just wanted to tell you that your videos are ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS MAN 😂😂, These Steven seagal movie reviews are ABSOLUTE GOLD!!! 😂😂 Every single one of them ive watched, i literally was belly laughing so hard i couldn breathe. So i jus wanted to express my gratefulness for your videos, because life is very tough a lot of the time, and being able to watch something like this and TRUELY LAUGH SO HARD helps so much you wouldnt believe it. Your very talented with the comedy commentary and the reviews are comic gold!!! please please PLEASE KEEP MAKING THESE!! 😂😂 Have a great day and i wish you the best!!
Space Ice is to Steven Seagal what Norm Macdonald was to O.J. Simpson, I hope O.J. didn't wait too long to fill out those organ donor cards
Naked Gun reference?
"If coffin doesn't fit, you must acquit."
What if you found out you have OJ Simpsons heart after a life saving transplant?
@@dragons_red statistically, it does not matter. Heart transplants only give you a couple of years at best, the medication is taken to slow down the body's rejection of the organ. It is why some doctors use animal organs because they fail just as often .
I immediately brought 2 of OJs jerseys after he passed. R.I.P Juice
“Luckily, Seagal, has all his repelling gear.”
The way he says Seagal. 😂
Suu-GAL
Yes! Lmao
2:52 HA!!! I was thinking “it has to be the morgue, or a strip club”.
"What does that mean?" "It means SLAPETY-SLAP!" 😂😂😂😂
The only person who jumps out of a window and into another window and ends up being a different person is Steven Seagal!
i got 15 seconds into it when it says you lose i had to stop im dying already
"He sees you've read his file, but he's up to 8 now!" - Too much....
Not nearly enough.
Man I didn't realize Bob Gunton was in this. Loved him in 24 and Shawshank Redemption. The fact he went from Shawshank Redemption's main antagonist to this is kinda sad.
A glimmer, then you're dead.
"How did the dead people tell him then?"
Seagal's BS has no bounds
The Chinese remedy for Wayan's headache: "That's powdered deer penis." "PFFTTBLLAACCHH, damn I feel violated!"
The sound effects for the "chicken run" at 9:48 is just
I just noticed: "Caution Spark Plugs" on that truck. Nice.
Tks a lot man, it wass bugging,né since the last vídeo
That was a good catch. I was gonna watch the whole video again to find it
You can't say Spark Plug without adding Bob Holly.
Without it would be Hardcore.
What the crap is Seagal wearing, and why isn't anyone pointing and laughing at him?!?
I think thats what the girl from 1:56 was laughing at 😂
In thos film wayans makes fun of him a bit. It'd quite refreshing
"Mrs. Doubtfire" just killed me
So, that's what happened to the holistic healer from Seinfeld. He went mad after turning George purple and was gunned down by Steven.
Danny Trejo has a pretty good library that think deserves the Space Ice Van Dam treatment, he's such a nice person in real life.
Trejo would probably be on board with taking the piss out of some of his lower-budget characters, he seems to have a good sense of humor
I met Seagal at a Tibetan monastery in the Himalayas while I was on a spiritual journey of self discovery. He was the Grand High Blessed Monk Consecrated by Buddha and led all the prayer sessions.
What u do you stayed or left
Met him in Bloomington, Indiana. He was "guarding" the Dhali Lama (his brother has restaurant in Bloomington).
Did you ask him about his first wife and kids and how does he support them? I'm sure he'd have LOVED someone asking him THAT!
@@ElTejon47901I used to love that restaurant. Really good curry.
1:34 The way Ice says "that".
12:47 "Double slap, tap, tap, slap, slap, tap, slap, tap and a woman chasing him up the stairs" Oh god I can't 😭😭
The Groundhog's Day reference made my day, I love how at the end Seagal decided his character would have an infinite video game backpack with mountain climbing gear, chains, and padlocks. "Like Bruce Lee, but better" indeed.
Mr. Space Ice, you certainly have a talent for making Worst Move Ever. Thanks again.
Man.... every time Space Ice says "Mega blockbuster hit movie" I got goosebumps.
that second fight that you skipped at 12:55 was kinda good and somewhat funny! "is that the best u got? Boring!" lol
that slap fight must be one of his "few" bests
You manage to provide the only reason anyone could ever be happy that Seagal made so many of these laughable movies, Space Ice.
"Slapity-slap!" 💀💀💀
"With no time or ability to think..." LOL
I love the emphasis on his name: “Suh-GAHL” 😂😂😂
"Double slap, tap tap, slap slap tap slap tap."
I can’t believe you didn’t mention the super advanced, flexible rod iron window decor at the end. 😂
13:03 - They literally jiggled. LOL
Seagal using a credit card as a weapon is a personal highlight.
I have had Glimmer Man on VHS for about 8-10 years(I got it for free), but haven't been able to bring myself to watch it. Thanks to this, I probably never will. Thanks Space Ice, I really dodged a bullet.
More like The Slimmer Man
the Dimmer man
The not getting thinner man
We're going to run out of seagal movies soon. This will be devastating as these videos are brilliant. 😂😂
He could do them all a second time, I’d watch.
No way, there's tons of those crappy movies out. Seagal has been on a terror since the 90's. There's like hundreds of them.
there's always Micheal Bay, M.Nightshitalong and Rob Zombie to tackle
Don't worry: AI will take over and produce a limitless supply of Seagal movies.
2:26 Seagal jumped so hard he turned into another person. That's a superpower only true BLOCKBUSTER ACTION MOVIE HERO like Seagal possess.
The Kung Fu Panda sound effects really sell it.
The Simmer Man: the art of cooking a 100lb pot roast while out killing for no reason and shooting at random shit while not looking at it 🤣
I have waited 18 full minutes of my life for this moment.
Space Ice Seagal: Lawman series would be awesome 😄
My only memory of that show is the promo picture where he's wearing a plate carrier over his gut like a moron 😂
And true justice.
He’s too busy pretending to read & the chicken run 😂I was howling