That call for assistance thing is my biggest pet peeve right now. I *hate* talking on the phone. I often have trouble hearing or processing what others are saying. It is uncomforable. Sometimes my words don't come out fast enough and they wonder if I am still there. Or I try to talk at the wrong time. And so many disability places want you to call and leave no other option to get help!
Talking on the phone sucks. Auditory processing issues, having to form coherent sentences spontaneously, not knowing when it's time to speak and overthinking EVERYTHING makes it basically impossible. It's not accessible if the way to get accommodations isn't accessible.
Same. I'd sooner avoid that place entirely than request assistance through a system that is actively hostile and difficult for me. Which I'm sure is intentional.
@@LilChuunosuke I don't necessarily think it is intentional. A lot of them are just places that haven't moved with the times. Having a website built with their information on it was the last great technology upgrade they went through. I kinda get it, but when helping disabled people is your whole reason for existing making that difficult for a huge swath of us is unforgivable.
I suddenly felt "normal" watching you struggle that the rest of the world seems to be able to do without the hiccups. Everything is over stimulating - noise, lights, communication, movement, change, that only autistics can understand amongst ourselves. Thank you for showing the vulnerable side of autism.
I'm going to travel to a wedding this summer. It's a 6hr flight, 1hr train ride, and 20 min car shuttle to get to an overstimulating event. I'm not diagnosed autistic, but am diagnosed ADHD and so much of this resonated with me - wish me luck, and RIP to my future fried brain and drained body. 🎭
Can you afford to travel the day before and have a night relaxing in the hotel? The actual travel time shouldn't be too bad with the right supplies, but that is a lot of transitions. I hope it is all far less stressful than you've feared and that the food is amazing!
@minecraftingmom I intend to travel the day before (I'm not built for redeyes - that's how you're really see me explode), but hotels are not relaxing to me. I've traveled a lot, so I know what to expect, and prepare fortifications.
I humbly but thoroughly recommend EARPLUGS…not just to reduce travel fatigue, but for attending the wedding too. The music is often so loud at weddings that you’re likely to hear it (and the people shouting over it to talk) BETTER with the earplugs in. Hope you manage a nap or two in your travels as well, and can have a great time! 🎉
Thank you for sharing the trials and tribulations of your journey. How bad that folks were ignorant of your lanyard's meaning and that you were in so much pain. How great that the vlogging itself helped you feel less bad. Tracey sounds fab! Glad you had her support. Your openness and vulnerability whilst being an educator are awesome! ❤
I have autism, and I went to college out of state. I will not soon forget the crowds, the motion sickness, the noise, the apathetic nature of employees, and being packed inside a jet like a sardine where I have to fight the person next to me for a place to put my arms whenever I took a flight home. I always emerged from the airport at my destination tired, hungry, VERY dehydrated (the pressurized air does that), and slightly sick to my stomach. The sensory difficulties of flying is why I often chose the 9 hour drive over the 90 minute flight. The 9 hour drive was _less mentally exhausting_ than a 90 minute flight because *I* was in control the entire time. I didn’t get motion sickness while driving a car. I had all my favorite food and drinks and any necessary medicine with me. I had plenty of room to move around while seated. I could stop to rest somewhere whenever I was hungry or tired. I could babble and talk to myself and stim to my heart’s content. I could choose what sounds to listen to. I could change clothes without causing a scene. No one ever got in my face, confiscated my things, or demanded they touch me “for security reasons” (F you TSA, you stole my creature comforts more than once). I still experienced the same mental fatigue that comes with travel but it was ultimately less overloading than being at the airport. I still hate driving. Just because it’s the best option available to me in the USA, doesn’t mean it’s my favorite, let alone the best option overall. I would ride a bullet train to all my destinations in a heartbeat, especially if they let you opt for a private cabin or row. Plus public transportation like that is much easier to make accessible for handicapped people at any rate. Much easier than putting the whole of the financial, social, and mental burden of accommodation on the person themselves at any rate.
Full on agree. I wish we had more trains. Fwiw, real ginger (chews or tea) is a godsend for motion sickness, in case you ever have to go through that again. I basically live off the stuff.
Thank you for sharing your experiences - it really is damning that a long ass car ride could be more comfortable than a short airplane trip. Last time I traveled air, I was a kid, didn’t have as bad sensory issues and my parents handled all the logistics (with some translation on my part at the actual airport). I had liked traveling via air but seeing as how even going outside can be too stimulating for me (bright lights; sounds can be mitigated w earbuds), not so certain if I would continue to want to travel by air. It’s either that or train which also has its own issues but the process of getting on and leaving is simpler at least. Also, with TSA confiscating things, why the hell would they do that??? I thought they only took away liquids and sharps, tho my dad had a basketball confiscated at one point (he was getting it for his brother so he could give it to his son)
1) Screenshot your boarding pass so it's easily findable when the app inevitably breaks. 2) Disable screen autorotation (shortcut on Android is in the main shortcuts) so your phone doesn't keep moving the image as you invert it for scanning. 🙏❤️
Thank you for sharing this. I'm autistic as well, and had a "simple" flight last month, it was supposed to be an easy domestic flight here in Brazil. But I had basically the same issues as you. The airport signage was useless and most of the staff had no clue as well. You're just supposed to know stuff, wtf. I felt helpless many times, but in my case I had immense help from my girlfriend. So thanks again for normalizing this. ❤
This made me cry. I've never been on a plane. I never heard of the lanyard thing. I think I'm so used to having to struggle through everything on my own it doesn't occur to me that help might even be an option. Though clearly it actually wasn't.
EDIT: Memphis International Airport said they’re going to share your video with their staff to learn from that airport’s mistakes. ---- Part of what can be difficult when something about you is different than most of your peers is (IMO) not knowing what possible situations could look like in real life. Not knowing how to address the interplay between “this is how my brain works and needs to be honored” and “because I want to do XYZ, I’m aware of these various ways of compromise.” Not knowing how to articulate one’s needs. So thank you for giving us some real-life examples of transitions, problem-solving, recovering from unwanted events (I.e. realizing you didn’t have your coat,) etc. Your willingness to be open about how this looks like in your life is really cool and I know it’s helping a lot of people understand themselves and one another
Cool about Memphis showing the video to employees. I travel in and out of MEM all the time (my parents live nearby in TN), so it’s nice to know that they are trying to learn from others’ mistakes!
This reminded me of all the times I had to apply for college courses, apply for jobs, run errands at city hall... all traumatic experiences for me that people around me shamed me for not being "thick-skinned" or efficient enough for. I've broken down many a time over all these (and similar) circumstances, but my life depended on me getting this shytz done. My go-to method is to completely dissociate through the whole ordeal and take notes. I already mask, so I perform as if it's someone else getting this stuff done. I fill my swaths of waiting time with activities from my "goody bag," my usual stims, or just zoning out completely until my name/number is called. These people out here made it CLEAR they do not care about me, so perhaps I can at least use that to my advantage: I can limit how present I am with them too. If it makes them uncomfortable, then guess what: we ALL about to be uncomfortable in this mofo. Creepy soulless smile, or perpetual RBF: no in-between. Coloring and video games, or brain on another planet: no in-between. I pry for information about next steps, or you look at my face repeatedly as I'm just quietly doing what I'm told from each staff member pointing me to YOUR kiosk: NO IN-BETWEEN. Obviously, no one wants to be here, so I don't have to fake caring about the feckless workers that are needlessly cruel or disrespectful to me for no good reason other than "I can get away with it." No problem, mask off immediately: panic attack on the spot. Open the floodgates. I do not care at that point: but SOMEONE'S about to. I'm already going through alot just to be out and present. I mask for others' comfort, more than my own at this point. If that's still not good enough, deal with the alternative, cuz I'm tired, and STUFF'S ABOUT TO STILL GET DONE WHEN IT'S FINISHED. And this isn't me threatening people with my disabilities; this is me flat out saying: "This is where I'm at in my disability, and I am currently incapable of scrounging anything past what I'm telling you." It's just a fact. In the same manner you don't kick a person's crutch from under them when their leg is broken, don't painpoint me into breaking/dissociating. The only difference is whether or not others perceive the disability. My, this turned into a rant... Anyways, I said what I said.
Extremely relatable, I've never flown without someone else with me and have never driven to the airport for many reasons (what you experienced sounds like my worst nightmare). That sounds incredibly difficult and you did rediciously well!!!! 😱
I teared up watching this and remembering all the dreaded family vacations I went on as a kid, where I just felt so overwhelmed and out of control but couldn't articulate anything to my frustrated family. I wish neurotypicals wouldn't make it so hard for us to go experience the world.
I'm so sorry you had such an awful experience. I recently accompanied a friend who was flying out of Hopkins and we had a disabled person with us and no one there was helpful at all. So it wasn't just you or just a bad day.
Wow! That was a lot of emotion! I feel really connected to you. Thank you for sharing all of that! I agree that normalizing that is really important. I saw a shirt that said "feel the fear and do it anyway" .....I'm taking baby steps, but you're doing amazing!!!!!! I don't remember why you're going travelling, but if it helps, know that you're not alone, I'll be thinking of you and wishing you well and I'm sure others here are too.
Thank you for your generosity, and your bravery! Your videos have been truly helpful for insight into my teens needs. Thank you!! Edit: Oh my god! I just want to hold you (or whatever would support you!!) I can not imagine yournsweet self NOT getting unconditional love and support from family, especially your mom because I AM a mom of two neuro divergent kiddos! You remind me so much of my son! I just am weeping at your distress, and absolutely IMPRESSED with your strength, your integrity, your endurance, your compassion!! THIS MOM wishes to support you! Of course, I'm probably barely old enough to be your mom, so I'm good with supporting you as a friend. Instead, I'm a "friendly internet stranger"...😅 but I still mean every word! May your trip being an abundance of good for you, even if you have to be home for a bit to really relax enough to unpack it all! 🥰🥰🥰
I truly didn't expect to see the sunflower lanyard in America but it's good to see. Last time I was at an airport. Staff noticed me and helped me through. Spreading understanding and awareness is important
I just got home from my first solo trip and I had such a similar experience and I really appreciate your willingness to share your journey. I really resonate and understand what you're feeling. I hope you enjoyed all the fun things you had planned.
I am crying just hearing the awful noises!!! 😭😭😭 I can't imagine your pain. I would need weeks to recover! Thanks for sharing and raising awareness. You are my favourite super hero!🙏💝
Thanks for sharing, Jeremy. I’m not autistic, but I am ADHD with autistic traits. Seeing you struggle at every step of the way just feels so familiar. I HATE moving house, and I’m not keen on traveling. I have to say that traveling during the pandemic - which I had to do because of family emergencies and health issues - was actually BETTER than it was before or now, because everyone had to stay 6 ft apart from each other, and they were keeping empty middle seats, and guaranteeing that the planes were being sanitized. It was just so much easier to deal with it all, having a bit more space! And then when I got where I was going, I HAD TO take 5 days before I went anywhere! So I had time to adjust to the new time zone, and catch up on sleep, etc. I struggle SO MUCH getting ready and packed for a trip. It’s all so overwhelming, and it takes me WAY longer than I feel that “it should”. Tangentially related I had someone get mad at me today because they thought I was “rude” and “left them hanging” on a shared project. The irony is that it was a shared project *about ADHD for a therapy grad school class*! LOLSOB. I really felt like they were shaming me for how I communicated my boundaries, and then they turned around and did my work FOR ME without asking! When all I said was “I can’t do this right now, because I have other things to do first.” And they didn’t bother to ASK ME about doing the work, just barreled on with it and then beat me over the head with the fact that it only took them two hours, with the implication that I should be ashamed of having a boundary and not being able to complete the project EARLY. I ended up so upset I couldn’t even work on the other project I needed to work on. And this person is going to be a therapist?? And has an (adult) ADHD KID?? I’m sorry that you experienced so much ignorance and ableism in your travels, just trying to get the services that you had clearly requested. Sometimes it really feels like a fish trying to communicate with a bird, when the fish is under water and the bird is in the air. No, really, I CAN’T “just fly”! EDIT: Well, the person “accepted my apology” and has apologized in return for misinterpreting. But it has required me to be the one to adjust, as always. And I ended up with full on insomnia last night due to the stress. That’s not how they see it, of course. In their view they were “collaborating” and “expressing their feelings“ while in mine they were high handed, insensitive, and ableist. *sigh* At least I will have a chance to talk this over later with a neurodiverse friend. Hopefully after I get another nap. Zzzzzzz
Makes me feel less bad about the first time i've traveled alone in a plane and cried a bit. I'm way too ashamed to call ahead or tell anyone. It made me never again not buy a ticket from the airline I am going with directly. Then staff from that airline usually helps you much more readily, even if I don't need anymore help in by far most cases. Or last time I did, when I ended up at the wrong airport... that was a difficult day. Spending the extra money brought up a lot of financial anxiety. I almost didn't go to get out about even. I start to get extremely forgetful when I am stressed like in such situations, but ending up at the wrong airport was a first. I wonder if my shame and masking is helping me or holding me back. I look normal, I talk mostly normal like you, but that makes me feel I don't have the right to have problems even more. When I was in a cast I felt a lot less stigma about asking for help.
Ah, why do I see myself in nearly every scene of this video? My friends know already how much I stress out when I have to travel. Recently I flew for the first time in like 20 years. Airport staff was very friendly. But nobody knew or recognized the sunflower lanyard. Same with all train stations in Germany, Belgium and the UK. But TSA staff at the priority security lane (I booked this ahead) was incredibly friendly and respectful. They obviously had a diversity training.
Oh gods. "With all the fun things I have planned, I wish I was home right now" that was so many of the trips I took and events I went to. When I heard you say that, I just started sobbing because it was the First time I'd Ever heard another person express that feeling. Thank you.
This is me. Thank you for the rep! Very familiar. And ugh checking in is a nightmare when they're rude and treat you with suspicion and you're just overwhelmed 😣
Thank you. I struggle with travelling too and the end hit me hard because I feel that way when I get to the hotel too. It’s like we push ourselves to just get through the travel part but then not having our safe space at the end is the toughest part for me too.
I am so glad you did decide to film this segment - most especially for it helping you through the experience itself;f, but also because it is empowering you to show how you have not been properly cared for as needing assistance. Us being able to join you through it allows us to see all the areas lacking support for us. I cannot thank you enough for making us aware
This actually makes me feel less disabled. I've flown on my own several times, although I have been known to get anxious at airports even though nothing really bad has ever happened to me at an airport (so it can't be trauma). On a side note, I also get anxious sometimes when I drive places I don't usually drive, so I imagine that that was part of the bad experience for this uploader. As for the sunflower symbol, I'm pretty sure that some people just don't know about it, which, I agree, does detract from its usefulness. With all of that in mind, I'm very proud of this uploader for flying on his own with so little of the help he needed.
My long distance fiancé lives in the USA, and I live in NZ, so I've made a total of 2 trips there and back so far. On the last trip I cried uncontrollably just before landing after a stupidly long flight (almost 14h). Then it was getting through that massive airport, through security, waiting in lines standing even though I was in severe physical discomfort, finding where my gate was, which train to take, walking all the way to where my gate was, finding food, then waiting several hours for my last flight despite wanting to sleep, being so exhausted and done with travelling on the last flight, having a terrifying landing, and then finally getting to be with my fiancé... I balled my eyes out once I got to the house and was finally able to relax. Travelling as an autistic is f*cking horrible. The one thing I'm glad about is the next time I go over there I won't have to do it again for a very long time 🎉
Oh and to add, thankfully the attendants and workers were all helpful when I needed assistance - I asked a flight attendant for a tissue when I was sobbing, and she came back with a whole box 😭 I don't know who you are but thank you girl, that was an unexpected gesture of kindness cos I needed more than one tissue for sure
I wanted to cry when you started crying. Smh. I started the day with bad anxiety and watching your video exacerbated it. I cannot travel alone and having something else to focus on does help which is why I'm constantly on my phone. I'm glad that vlogging helped you. Sending positive vibes.
I have a child who struggles tremendously with travel. Thank you for this video, you’ve helped give me some perspective and I hope I can be more compassionate in the future. Especially the last bit, when you got to the hotel. Thank you. Thank you. This is what I needed to see.
Thank you for sharing! ! Raising this awareness is so, so, so, so important!! I made 3 trips clear across the country (Washington State to the East Coast) and back every 2 weeks over -both- Winter holidays (omg... **holidays** at the airport!) to see a family member I thought might die, the first trip being entirely impromptu. I'm not Autistic. I do have ADHD, trauma both historical and recent with my family, chronic pain, multiple health conditions, an extensive array of meds and supplements I have to travel with, and a HIGHLY restricted diet due to my medical conditions. Just. Awful. I MAGICALLY didn't end up forgetting anything any of those times (well just a phone cord left behind in the rental car on my way home, on my 3rd and final trip)!! Buuut every single night before and the day of going to the airport was HOURS of running through mental checklists, ADHD paralysis in the form of blankly staring at things while trying to process what I needed to do next, in and out of bed as I thought of something else, in and out of the car to dart back inside to get a thing, massive anxiety- and grief-driven sleep deprivation, plus jet lag. Sooo much crying while driving to and from the airport, to and from where said family member was, and 2 out of those 3 trips throughout the airport. Also white knuckled my emotions every time on the plane to try to avoid calling attention to myself because I also have a fear of flying (TOTALLY fine... until there is even a HINT of turbulence... and one leg of one trip was WAY more than a hint)... and because my heart was ripped out of my chest every time the plane lifted off the air strip on the way back home because I wasn't sure if I'd ever see them alive again. I too experienced long waits, lack of or confusing signage, unhelpful people but also some amazing people (my Airbnb host was perfection!), website issues of a different type, and confusing processes. Inconsistent application of TSA guidelines and me being held up for a few extra minutes under scrutiny a couple of times did not help.
Thank you for sharing and normalizing the struggle. I love and hate to travel. Sensory is often a nightmare, and you are correct. Signage is abysmal. I personally no longer drive to and from the airport but hire a shuttle. I cannot do parking and TSA. But I love seeing new places, so I still go. I hope the rest of the trip goes well.
Glad you got there ok! Sorry it was such a tough experience for you. I hope I never have to go through an airport again - they are hellish places staffed by the most officious, unhelpful people (with the odd exception, I’m sure).
Thank you for showing this and being vulnerable in what your real authentic experiences are traveling as an autsitic person. I appreciate this as an autistic person in knowing things that I can ask for help that some neurotypicals don’t need. 💗
Thank you so much for sharing this. It made me feel less alone in my hatred of travel. If I could instantly transport to my destination it might be more tolerable, but the travel itself is so stressful that it isn't worth if for anything less than an *amazing* vacation spot. And honestly, even the best vacation spot is going to have a hard time competing with the safe comforts of home.
For sensory overload, I really appreciate Schiphol Airport in Amersterdam: safe, excellent parking, very clear layout and signage, clearly marked and easy local transport of every kind, a gentle voice for the people-mover conveyor belts that simply says “watch your step” in a relaxed way, free luggage carts…and a very quiet and newly renovated Hilton hotel accessible from INSIDE the airport to crash in before the next leg of a journey. Plus many other hotels quite nearby.👍 There are still lots of people, announcements, and waiting to endure, but it’s the best airport I’ve been in so far (USA or EU).
Stopping to get gas close to home is a good trick to help remember stuff we forgot. I've reduced a lot of anxiety about packing by reminding myself most cities have a Target or Walmart.
My sister lives a couple states away and over the last couple years, as im learning about sensory overload, I've been realizing why it is I don't travel on my own. Even the prep work and getting time off is extremely overwhelming for me. Thank you for sharing your journey and the reality of traveling alone. And I hope you have a lot of fun on your trip!
I'm glad you made it there safely, and navigated all the challenges. Travel is stressful, even more so for many of us who are neurodivergent in some way. I hope the rest of your trip is enjoyable and goes smoothly.
I didn't know about the sunflower thing before now. Doing research now and I could nearly cry - I wish i knew about this during my immigration. ADHD, Autism, and chronic migraine are all on their list. This really could change my relationship with travel. Thank you.
This made me feel anxious for you. 😢 I can’t imagine going on a flight alone without assistance either. The two times I’ve flown I was with family that knew I needed to be helped.
I really hope you can decompress and enjoy your trip .. I also hate traveling (airports are uncomfy, planes are uncomfy, hotels/apartments don’t feel right especially initially).. I’m so glad you had a support person - I know I am thankful to have someone to carry the mental load of logistics for me when traveling
I appreciate you sharing this. I've gotten to where I feel confident enough in my abilities to problem-solve that I feel capable of traveling to unfamiliar places, but it's still very much a trial. When I was younger, I just couldn't travel on my own. It was so stressful and terrifying, and I was fortunate I was able to get support, but it was very stressful to be undiagnosed and afraid to ask for help because I didn't understand why I needed it so much. I feel like you're really normalizing these autistic struggles, and I appreciate it.
Thank you for making this. I’m not diagnosed but it just goes to further confirm to me that I would be if given the opportunity. This is exactly what I experience every time I travel. It’s less bad when I’m traveling with someone who’s a “safe person” that I know well and that doesn’t wear me out. And it was wonderful when I first got my “real job” in cybersecurity where I could afford to fly first class before COVID - that let me skip most of the line at security and board first and sit at the front of the plane and have extra space and extra and better service on the flight, and so on and so forth that it made flying soooo much more comfortable and easier over all. But the rest of the stuff was still exactly the same and it’s surprising how much it all wore me out even though I love the actual flying part. But after COVID? I’m not sure that even first class would be enough to compensate for my experience traveling. I think I have to stick with driving over flying at this point, because everything I’ve seen and heard about flying since COVID has me terrified at the prospect. Not because flying is scary, but because I don’t think I have enough reserves to deal with all the anciliary garbage that tends to go along with flying today. How I long for high speed rail that gets you all over the country! I wish this country had managed to remain civilized as it aged. It’s terrible for people like me now. I feel for you and hope your trip back is/was a lot better.
Thank you for making this. I have a trip coming up this summer, and this video did a lot to help me not feel so different. At least there are other people who are different like me. Thank you
I have traveled through airports my whole childhood. This past week was my first time post diagnosis without assistance. My service dog was also sick and couldn't join me. I know how it goes and it was still so difficult and nerve wracking and awful. I didn't even know there was a care program for us ND. Obviously they're not going to help anyway, either. ..... So you're not alone, it's not just you, and thank you for sharing.
Thanks so much for sharing this 🙏🏻 I used to travel a lot for work long before realising I was autistic and would wonder why I got so overwhelmed and burnt out and my colleagues seemed to be able to manage. I now live in a van and travel slowly with my safe space 'on my back' which makes things a lot easier. And I really have no desire to get on a plane again anytime soon! Oh, and I have the same issues with hoodies, that bit made me chuckle in solidarity 💙
I'm autistic and I rarely travel; the only times I have done so by myself are places I've already been with family. Thankfully, I've never had to deal with needing assistance from airport staff. Every time I take these steps: 1. for EACH airport: talk with someone who has been in the airport before to make sure I know exactly where I'm going and what I have to do (security, at the gate, getting on/off the plane, etc.), often looking at a map ahead of time (also to make sure everything I pack is TSA approved) 2. have someone drop me off so I don't have to deal with parking and know exactly where I'm going to start on the map (and have someone to pick me up and decide where from) 3. never check a bag if I can help it (I know that's not possible for everyone, but it drastically reduces the number of steps I have to take and thus areas for issues to arise) 4. take a screenshot of my boarding pass AND print it if I'm able (the redundancy makes me feel better) 5. have someone I know I can call/text if I have any questions (I often talk through what I have to do at security while waiting in line because that part is super stressful) 6. have a small, one-handed fidget toy while waiting in line (mine is attached with a carabiner to my bag so I can't loose it) 7. once through security, recheck the gate and time of the flight (there's usually a big screen right past security listing this) 8. find gate and confirm departure time again before considering going to get a drink 9. fill my water bottle (it needs to be empty going through security) and pee (even if I don't feel the need, I still sit on the toilet just in case) 10. find a corner to sit in if I can, otherwise use my bags to block off areas around me to get more space OR sit as near as possible to the gate so I'm less likely to miss announcements 11. board the plane (I suggest looking up the boarding method of the airline you're flying) - this is another place where I have a fidget toy 12. once I've shown my boarding pass and am on the bridge to the plane, I put on headphones (you can do it earlier, but I'm usually too stressed about missing my flight until this point) 13. put carryon bag in overhead bin (it doesn't have to be right next to your seat, but near or in front of is best so you don't have to push past people behind you to get your bag when getting off the plane) 14. sit down and set up area for flight - I put my water bottle in the seat-back pocket in front of me, make sure everything I need is easily accessible from the bag by my feat, and take out anything else I need right away 15. get through flight 16. after landing, call the person picking me up so they know I've landed and to confirm where they're picking me up (this is in general either arrivals or departures - you head in the same direction for both at first - follow signage for baggage claim, you'll pass through an area that says something like 'no turning back past this point' which basically means you would have to go through security again to get back to the main part of the airport, if being picked up at departures continue following signs for baggage claim, if being picked up at arrivals you should see something similar to when you arrived at the airport with places to check your bag with each airline, walk outside call or text the person picking you up with information about where you are - often there is a door number that you can give) Other notes: 1. when deciding on which seat to get, think about these factors: window seats mean you have to ask your neighbors so you can go to the bathroom and you may feel closed in by the wall on one side and people on the other and you may have slightly less room by your feet; aisle seats mean you will be asked to get up so your neighbors can go to the bathroom and people will be walking past you frequently; middle seats are horrible; seats closer to the front mean you get to board and get off sooner; seats closer to the back are more likely to have empty seats giving you more space and are closer to the bathrooms 2. when getting on or off the plane, you can always wait until the crowds thin before going, although make sure to let your neighbors out if you're in an aisle seat 3. things I pack (in a bag to put by my feet that is very big (check size requirements) and has lots of pockets): a water bottle, a variety of snacks with different flavors/textures that aren't very messy, a variety of activities that engage different senses/parts of the brain, at least one fidget toy, a pillow/stuffed animal, a ziplock bag to use for trash, hand sanitizer, a mini first-aid+ kit (band-aids, advil, hair ties, basically anything small that I can just have a few of that I might need either in actuality or for my piece of mind), extra masks, chargers 4. I also download some stuff to do on my phone as a backup
Traveling is so hard. This is definitely relatable. I never drive myself to an airport, that’s probably the worst part because it sets me up for even worse anxiety the rest of the way after all that adrenaline. I agree there are too many barriers to getting assistance. But it is helpful to know I should plan to call beforehand 😕 I’ve had airlines cancel my dietary restriction requests less than a week before flying and change seats away from the person I was flying with, which I had set weeks before, and had to ask a family member who is good at arguing to help me call and get them to fix it. They couldn’t really but they tried. It was awful
Thank you for putting this out here. This is my experience when I travel alone, which is most of the time 😢 Also, I had no idea you have to call ahead to get assistance
I think I just felt that with you from start to finish. I wanted to cry too. I traveled one time anout 40 years ago. I think I made just about everybody in that stopover, from one flight to the other, very angry. Apparently I get very pushy when I am scared and frustrated. The airport people were very kind though, probably because I was a child.
Hopkins is terrible. I had to pick up an eclipse guest last night. I almost missed the lane for the cell phone lot, then almost missed the airport lane after leaving the cell phone lot. When I got to the exact intersection you showed, there were so many cars lined up for Arrivals that I had to sit through an extra traffic light cycle to get to the Departures lane, even though it was nearly empty. Thankfully, my guest didn't check any bags, so they saved us at least 20-30 more minutes by meeting me at the Departures door. Sending all the good wayfinding vibes your way. I hope New York meets you well. You can do this! 😊
Thank you, and I'm so sorry. I have GAD/ ADHD and I'm about to take a trip myself, so thank you for the travel tips - I just took a screenshot of my ticket, just in case. I hope your trip goes well ❤
You can and should send complaints about unsatisfactory experiences to TSA. Although the TSA 'cares' program wants a call ahead. You requesting extra time and assistance should have received it at that time. They should be trained such that 'I need extra assistance and time is there someone who can take me through this slowly' is enough. You can submit a TSA cares request online it's a form. The calling is required if it's needed within 72 hours. On your flight back just at the point they ask for your ID (if you didn't get Cares set up) ask for a manager. Say I need to get through this with help. You shouldn't need any of this advice it should be easier. (Other options if you want. On your delta app the same place you requested help, request a wheelchair. This will get you 'a visible disability' and a trained employee to help you through TSA. You will have to go check in at the Delta desk but may gain you an advocate right out the gate.)
I don't have direct issues with calling on phones once it has started, but it's really, really hard to actually plan to do it. To y'know, get it started.
Thank you for sharing this. It saddens me that they were so unsupportive and that you had to experience this, but it helps me know what to expect if/when I get a chance to fly - I have never flown before, or at least not on a plane (I once got to ride in a military helicopter and loved it). I hope to go on a trip sometime in the next few years that involves airline travel, but I have anxiety about almost everything you highlighted here. I'm fortunate that my wife has flown several times and I have some advanced knowledge of the nearby international airport, but I know that I will still be fighting overload and overwhelm whenever I finally get the chance.
I think vlogging it made it feel like you weren’t traveling alone which helps even if we can’t actually help you navigate the unknown. I’ve always struggled with the unknown. I credited my dad for that anxiety because he would yell/spank any time I made mistakes as a child. But from this and the last video I’ve been considering it through an autistic lens.
Your trip sounds absolutely horrible. Thank you so much for putting in the effort of making this vlog, I truly see myself in your experiences. Thank god the experience of recording turned out to be a kind of coping mechanism for you
I have ADHD and autism and used to be a flight attendant (I didn’t know I had autism at that time, because autism wasn’t a thing for women until recently). I used to have meltdowns all the time (usually in my hotel room), and kept a journal of it. I quit after 6 years of doing that and have barely travelled since, because it was such a miserable experience for me, even with crew security bypass that I had for my job (which wasn’t at every airport, and they are just as rude to flight crew, though Customs is so much worse). I have written entire essays about it. When I do travel by air (a very rare thing for me since working in the industry), I always ALWAYS only travel with carry-on and never check my bags, as bags get delayed or lost all the time and I don’t want to deal with that when I am already away and stressed. Road trips are longer, but SO much easier. I would rather spend hours driving and listening to podcasts or audiobooks than 5 minutes of misery at an airport. I drove across the country for a move instead of flying, because I didn’t want to put myself through the stress. I often wish train travel was more common and affordable in North America, because it’s so much more civilized and human-friendly. When I was a flight attendant, I secretly hoped some genius entrepreneur would revolutionize train travel and make it trendy and affordable so the entire airline industry would diminish.
big ups for sharing this man, and hugs if you accept them, i sometimes vlog when i want to do something that whelms me like going outside for a walk to get some sun in, and i have no valid accomodation like ear and eye protection, and i have ongoing anxiety from neverending stress i guess, sometimes i vlog what im doing and talk about it and i am not sure what about it soothes me but it is very surprisingly comforting, like always considerably more than i'd expect it to be.
❤ I wish it will get easier after you get some rest and start to know the location a bit better, like knowing your way around, finding some good food to eat etc. By the way, one tip I suggest is getting food via delivery, that way you can avoid a lot of overstimulation (though I guess you knew this already, but just in case).
Sorry to report that that looks like either an Embraer or Bombardier. Both also very safe brands. The sign is… not exactly supposed to be like that, but it’s normal. It’s not attached to the skin of the plane in any way, and you’re perfectly safe. The maintenance issues were probably to make sure every system had two or more backups. If that doesn’t ease your mind, I know I usually feel better on larger planes like A220s and 737s because they are more standardized and often look better. I don’t like traveling alone, and I hope you enjoy at least parts of NY.
That sounds like a _particularly_ awful experience and I'm so sorry they were so unwilling to help you when _their_ systems f-ed up! Particularly egregious was the lack of signage. It's relatively cheap to have good signage, but so few people respect the work of UX designers (or whatever the non-digital equivalent is) to actually hire them to make sure that experience is easy for customers. _Especially_ those first few cries were sheer incompetence on the airport's part, and starting off an experience as stressful as travelling with extra stress because you're not provided with the information necessary to get where you need to go, that just spends so many more spoons at the start leaving so few left for the rest of the journey!
Never fly into sea-tac by the way, that airport was the worst I've ever been in with lacking signs and lying signs. For your next trip, see if there's a 3rd party parking service near the airport. The one near the Indianapolis airport costs less than economy parking with a covered lot and a free shuttle to and from the terminal right from your car. And driving to their parking lot is easier since they aren't located in the airport itself.
I've owned a sunflower lanyard for years. Still haven't worn it. But I'm told the airports in my country are well trained. (I also haven't flown for years either because it takes a lot to make that worthwhile!).
The fact they mandate a call to recieve assistance is ridiculous!! Part of the reason I would need assistance in the first place is because I have auditory processing disorder and delayed sensory processing. How do they expect people who are fully deaf to request aid?? Not everyone has access to a person who can call ahead for them.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I wish things were more logical and reasonable in the land of the neuroblands. Having to fight so hard just to get the help and instruction that everyone should have ready access to is ridiculous. There should be mandatory accesabiity training for every employee in customer-facing service positions. I hope your vido is seen and acted on positively by those ignorant souls who couldn't be arsed to even finish putting up the bloody signage.
Airports really do suck for us autistic folks. One time I did call ahead about needing assistance switching flights, it was clearly specified why I needed it, but when I got to the second airport, someone showed up with a wheelchair. I did not, in fact, need a wheelchair, and when I told them that, they just left, because apparently only people with mobility disabilities need assistance getting around the airport… ( -_-) I did find my other flight by myself, but I’d pretty much completely shut down as soon as I’d gotten to my seat. Thankfully I was meeting up with someone at the last airport, so I didn’t need to exhaust myself much further figuring out where to exit at. I appreciate that they are somewhat trying, but I really don’t feel like they know what they’re doing to even offer help in the first place. Like yeah, they have sunflower posters on the walls about invisible disabilities, but despite the many times I’ve traveled, I’ve never actually gotten any kind of assistance from the airport unless I was travelling with my mom, who is physically disabled.
Unfortunately in the UK the sunflower lanyard isnt really helpful because during COVID it was co-opted by anti-maskers who would where it as a "you can't question me for not wearing a mask anymore" shield :(
I would say I have mild to medium train anxiety. Expecially if I go to places I don't usually go to or outside my city and am alone. It can all be pretty much summed up as a strong anxious response to potentially getting yelled at for not having a valid ticket. Because the train within my city is free for bus plan users. So that's why it's only outside the city or in other areas. I went to the outskirts a few times to go to a far away mall. The first time because it was the only location of an electronic store and I had to send in my laptop for warranty. It was purchased from that chain store except in a different city. Which they bullied me into paying when I wasn't in the wrong. They said it was a firmware issue where it resulted firmware Y was installed but the actually installed one was X. And my laptop crashed. To which they said they can't tell if it was a malware issue. I hardly believe they didn't find a virus. They were looking for an excuse to have me pay. Then they said the price was 20 euros. Fine. The next day I chose to believe it was 20 but dad wanted to double check so he called them and asked them. They said 29. I was also told all the files got lost (I felt bad but not too much as the pc was almost new so there wasn't much on it). When I got there I told them they said 20. He had the nerve to tell me 29 is still 20 not 30. I'm shocked to this day. Anyways I was getting crazy worried that I'd get off at the wrong stop (I had to get off at Pontedecimo which is the very last stop in my city in that direction) and I'll be fined. My mom's response to all of this? "Just pay for the fine and don't stress out if that happens. Also it's okay to check where you are" yeah but not when I can feel I did two stops and the next one is mine. The train I take to see my dad only does 2/3 stops depending where I get on. Sometimes it leaves from the nearest train station to me. Sometimes the one right after. And only two stops before the one I need to get off at. It's a train that goes to Turin. It's always the same train. It always does the same stops. I can feel and see all the stops as I like to sit by the window. I still get anxious I'm going to miss my stop and I'm getting yelled at for some reason. But the first time I got my ticket checked it went okay. I wasn't stressed at all. She couldn't read the qr code as we were in a tunnel and my qr code wasn't loading. She manually inserted the numbers of my ticket and said it was okay and left.
I have never had this much anxiety, when I have travelled alone. But I have planned my route so well and I have had help in online if there has been issues and I have been all THE spots (flight, long distance train/buss) at least two hours before what they recommend so I have really enough time if aomething happens. And at the end it has been mostly enjoying the expirience of travelling. BUT with my child. No. I just can not handle travelling with all super details with plan a, b and c and then making sure all the situations what might happen with child and those situations needs plan a, b and c. I'm just waiting that she is old enough so we can do this like somewhat same mind state without meltdown what will burn down the plans a and b and after that I don't have the plans d, f and g to back up me 😅 So yes. Even though I haven't had those feelings by myself, I have expirienced that with my child and it takes every Joy from travelling what accually makes travelling really enjoyable for me. And now when I started to memorize my first expiriences, it wasn't so much fun. But hey, math or swedish wasn't so much fun either, but when I had chance to use that knowledge what they smashed in my head, it gave me the feeling of success. I have learned something and I know how to use it 😊 I hope you have that same feeling, when you go back home ❤
I am so very sorry that the things they said they put in place.They made unnecessarily difficult. Like there's no reason whyou should have to call ahead when you already did the thing in the app. If the thing in the app doesn't do anything why even have it
I flew to Memphis by myself once. It wasn’t that bad, but my mom drove me to the airport. I’m thinking next time I fly by myself, I’ll take the bus. It’s $3 instead of $100 for parking, they drop you right off at the gate, and I need to wait an hour after breakfast to drive, because of my medicine anyway, so I lose no time. If I go to Memphis, I’ll drive though. I have 16 hours of original songs I recorded on RUclips and they take just enough spoons to listen to so I can drive at the same time. I’d be bored listening to them on a plane and listening to them while watching videos is too many spoons.
I get flight nightmares about a month either side of travel, this video put me in a fear space i didn't expect :P I also RESEARCH like a neurotic bitch, but ofc this isn't an accessible option for everyone. Recently realised i can't let my partner research because he doesn't research enough by my standards and then i get mad because he'll ask me for help and I HAVEN'T RESEARCHED. I've found that cleaners/janitors and the folk behind the bars are the most helpful for directions (but i might be playing the young-pretty-woman with this one, can't guarantee everyone will have the same experience). Fuuuuudge airport parking, find your local airport shuttle or even fork out for a taxi.
I'm sorry this was so difficult. With the amount of staff and disabled travelers they would be fairly busy.... And actually be accessible. I can't travel by myself at all. Topographical disorientation is a bitch, and I can even get lost in the city I've lived in for 44 yrs. Its frustrating and makes me feel stupid and useless. I mean, anyone can read a map or use gps, right? I'm an adult, right? Yes, but disabled, so its not "simple" I'm made to feel like i'm not trying.
WAIT. Wait wait wait wait wait a minute. You were thinking about what's happening, and mentally reframing it, in terms of "how am I gonna explain this in a video"? And that's a form of dissociation? Holy frick, I do that all the damn time and I never knew. I'll be randomly thinking about something complex, and running through my head how I might explain it to a hypothectial 5-year-old. Or I'll run into some minor issue at work, and I'll be mentally rehearsing how I want to try to explain it to my boss. Like yeah, its a helpful thought pattern, stops me from freezing up and stumbling over my words as much when it's time to actually talk to someone about the thing, but I'd never considered it to be a form of dissociation.
I felt this so hard. I had a very long flight in november that lasted for 14 hours in the plane alone, not counting in travel time to and from the airport and to the place I was staying at. When i finally came off of the plane, my brain felt so fried that i had to actively avoid looking people in the face or risk breaking down crying in the middle of the street 😵💫😭 The flight was stressful, but in that moment i was almost wishing going right back onto that plane back home. I didn't know there was assistance available at all, or is that only in specific countries?
That call for assistance thing is my biggest pet peeve right now. I *hate* talking on the phone. I often have trouble hearing or processing what others are saying. It is uncomforable. Sometimes my words don't come out fast enough and they wonder if I am still there. Or I try to talk at the wrong time. And so many disability places want you to call and leave no other option to get help!
Mhm that alone has me thinking, “Screw it, I don’t need the assistance.” I mean, if they expect me to call in, they already don’t get it. 🫠
Same, I'm just gonna try to survive without assistance and mark that place as inaccessible, because I can't do phone calls.
Talking on the phone sucks. Auditory processing issues, having to form coherent sentences spontaneously, not knowing when it's time to speak and overthinking EVERYTHING makes it basically impossible. It's not accessible if the way to get accommodations isn't accessible.
Same. I'd sooner avoid that place entirely than request assistance through a system that is actively hostile and difficult for me. Which I'm sure is intentional.
@@LilChuunosuke I don't necessarily think it is intentional. A lot of them are just places that haven't moved with the times. Having a website built with their information on it was the last great technology upgrade they went through. I kinda get it, but when helping disabled people is your whole reason for existing making that difficult for a huge swath of us is unforgivable.
I suddenly felt "normal" watching you struggle that the rest of the world seems to be able to do without the hiccups. Everything is over stimulating - noise, lights, communication, movement, change, that only autistics can understand amongst ourselves. Thank you for showing the vulnerable side of autism.
I'm going to travel to a wedding this summer. It's a 6hr flight, 1hr train ride, and 20 min car shuttle to get to an overstimulating event. I'm not diagnosed autistic, but am diagnosed ADHD and so much of this resonated with me - wish me luck, and RIP to my future fried brain and drained body. 🎭
Can you afford to travel the day before and have a night relaxing in the hotel? The actual travel time shouldn't be too bad with the right supplies, but that is a lot of transitions.
I hope it is all far less stressful than you've feared and that the food is amazing!
@minecraftingmom I intend to travel the day before (I'm not built for redeyes - that's how you're really see me explode), but hotels are not relaxing to me. I've traveled a lot, so I know what to expect, and prepare fortifications.
I humbly but thoroughly recommend EARPLUGS…not just to reduce travel fatigue, but for attending the wedding too. The music is often so loud at weddings that you’re likely to hear it (and the people shouting over it to talk) BETTER with the earplugs in. Hope you manage a nap or two in your travels as well, and can have a great time! 🎉
@jennifervanpanhuis8406 Thank you! I agree, great recommendation - I got some Loops that are coming with me!
@@coor0kun ah I'm sorry hotels aren't relaxing. Yay for Loops
Thank you for sharing the trials and tribulations of your journey. How bad that folks were ignorant of your lanyard's meaning and that you were in so much pain. How great that the vlogging itself helped you feel less bad. Tracey sounds fab! Glad you had her support. Your openness and vulnerability whilst being an educator are awesome! ❤
I have autism, and I went to college out of state. I will not soon forget the crowds, the motion sickness, the noise, the apathetic nature of employees, and being packed inside a jet like a sardine where I have to fight the person next to me for a place to put my arms whenever I took a flight home. I always emerged from the airport at my destination tired, hungry, VERY dehydrated (the pressurized air does that), and slightly sick to my stomach.
The sensory difficulties of flying is why I often chose the 9 hour drive over the 90 minute flight. The 9 hour drive was _less mentally exhausting_ than a 90 minute flight because *I* was in control the entire time. I didn’t get motion sickness while driving a car. I had all my favorite food and drinks and any necessary medicine with me. I had plenty of room to move around while seated. I could stop to rest somewhere whenever I was hungry or tired. I could babble and talk to myself and stim to my heart’s content. I could choose what sounds to listen to. I could change clothes without causing a scene. No one ever got in my face, confiscated my things, or demanded they touch me “for security reasons” (F you TSA, you stole my creature comforts more than once). I still experienced the same mental fatigue that comes with travel but it was ultimately less overloading than being at the airport.
I still hate driving. Just because it’s the best option available to me in the USA, doesn’t mean it’s my favorite, let alone the best option overall. I would ride a bullet train to all my destinations in a heartbeat, especially if they let you opt for a private cabin or row. Plus public transportation like that is much easier to make accessible for handicapped people at any rate. Much easier than putting the whole of the financial, social, and mental burden of accommodation on the person themselves at any rate.
😢😢😢 Cried reading this. Totally understand your preference for driving! Whenever possible. Every time.
Full on agree. I wish we had more trains. Fwiw, real ginger (chews or tea) is a godsend for motion sickness, in case you ever have to go through that again. I basically live off the stuff.
Thank you for sharing your experiences - it really is damning that a long ass car ride could be more comfortable than a short airplane trip. Last time I traveled air, I was a kid, didn’t have as bad sensory issues and my parents handled all the logistics (with some translation on my part at the actual airport). I had liked traveling via air but seeing as how even going outside can be too stimulating for me (bright lights; sounds can be mitigated w earbuds), not so certain if I would continue to want to travel by air. It’s either that or train which also has its own issues but the process of getting on and leaving is simpler at least.
Also, with TSA confiscating things, why the hell would they do that??? I thought they only took away liquids and sharps, tho my dad had a basketball confiscated at one point (he was getting it for his brother so he could give it to his son)
1) Screenshot your boarding pass so it's easily findable when the app inevitably breaks.
2) Disable screen autorotation (shortcut on Android is in the main shortcuts) so your phone doesn't keep moving the image as you invert it for scanning. 🙏❤️
Thank you for sharing this. I'm autistic as well, and had a "simple" flight last month, it was supposed to be an easy domestic flight here in Brazil. But I had basically the same issues as you. The airport signage was useless and most of the staff had no clue as well. You're just supposed to know stuff, wtf. I felt helpless many times, but in my case I had immense help from my girlfriend. So thanks again for normalizing this. ❤
This made me cry. I've never been on a plane. I never heard of the lanyard thing. I think I'm so used to having to struggle through everything on my own it doesn't occur to me that help might even be an option. Though clearly it actually wasn't.
EDIT: Memphis International Airport said they’re going to share your video with their staff to learn from that airport’s mistakes.
----
Part of what can be difficult when something about you is different than most of your peers is (IMO) not knowing what possible situations could look like in real life.
Not knowing how to address the interplay between “this is how my brain works and needs to be honored” and “because I want to do XYZ, I’m aware of these various ways of compromise.”
Not knowing how to articulate one’s needs.
So thank you for giving us some real-life examples of transitions, problem-solving, recovering from unwanted events (I.e. realizing you didn’t have your coat,) etc. Your willingness to be open about how this looks like in your life is really cool and I know it’s helping a lot of people understand themselves and one another
Well said!!!
Cool about Memphis showing the video to employees. I travel in and out of MEM all the time (my parents live nearby in TN), so it’s nice to know that they are trying to learn from others’ mistakes!
This reminded me of all the times I had to apply for college courses, apply for jobs, run errands at city hall... all traumatic experiences for me that people around me shamed me for not being "thick-skinned" or efficient enough for. I've broken down many a time over all these (and similar) circumstances, but my life depended on me getting this shytz done.
My go-to method is to completely dissociate through the whole ordeal and take notes. I already mask, so I perform as if it's someone else getting this stuff done. I fill my swaths of waiting time with activities from my "goody bag," my usual stims, or just zoning out completely until my name/number is called. These people out here made it CLEAR they do not care about me, so perhaps I can at least use that to my advantage: I can limit how present I am with them too.
If it makes them uncomfortable, then guess what: we ALL about to be uncomfortable in this mofo. Creepy soulless smile, or perpetual RBF: no in-between. Coloring and video games, or brain on another planet: no in-between. I pry for information about next steps, or you look at my face repeatedly as I'm just quietly doing what I'm told from each staff member pointing me to YOUR kiosk: NO IN-BETWEEN. Obviously, no one wants to be here, so I don't have to fake caring about the feckless workers that are needlessly cruel or disrespectful to me for no good reason other than "I can get away with it." No problem, mask off immediately: panic attack on the spot. Open the floodgates. I do not care at that point: but SOMEONE'S about to.
I'm already going through alot just to be out and present. I mask for others' comfort, more than my own at this point. If that's still not good enough, deal with the alternative, cuz I'm tired, and STUFF'S ABOUT TO STILL GET DONE WHEN IT'S FINISHED. And this isn't me threatening people with my disabilities; this is me flat out saying: "This is where I'm at in my disability, and I am currently incapable of scrounging anything past what I'm telling you." It's just a fact. In the same manner you don't kick a person's crutch from under them when their leg is broken, don't painpoint me into breaking/dissociating. The only difference is whether or not others perceive the disability.
My, this turned into a rant... Anyways, I said what I said.
saaaaaaame with the dissociating. this is an excellent and thorough description of my experience too! thank you
Extremely relatable, I've never flown without someone else with me and have never driven to the airport for many reasons (what you experienced sounds like my worst nightmare). That sounds incredibly difficult and you did rediciously well!!!! 😱
Exactly what I was thinking/ feeling.
I’m taking my son on his first commercial flight in 2 days and this is giving me things to think about / anticipate.
I teared up watching this and remembering all the dreaded family vacations I went on as a kid, where I just felt so overwhelmed and out of control but couldn't articulate anything to my frustrated family. I wish neurotypicals wouldn't make it so hard for us to go experience the world.
I'm so sorry you had such an awful experience. I recently accompanied a friend who was flying out of Hopkins and we had a disabled person with us and no one there was helpful at all. So it wasn't just you or just a bad day.
Feeling tender in my heart for you. Sending gentleness and slowness for your system ...
Me too.
Wow! That was a lot of emotion! I feel really connected to you. Thank you for sharing all of that! I agree that normalizing that is really important. I saw a shirt that said "feel the fear and do it anyway" .....I'm taking baby steps, but you're doing amazing!!!!!! I don't remember why you're going travelling, but if it helps, know that you're not alone, I'll be thinking of you and wishing you well and I'm sure others here are too.
Thank you for your generosity, and your bravery! Your videos have been truly helpful for insight into my teens needs. Thank you!!
Edit: Oh my god! I just want to hold you (or whatever would support you!!)
I can not imagine yournsweet self NOT getting unconditional love and support from family, especially your mom because I AM a mom of two neuro divergent kiddos! You remind me so much of my son! I just am weeping at your distress, and absolutely IMPRESSED with your strength, your integrity, your endurance, your compassion!!
THIS MOM wishes to support you! Of course, I'm probably barely old enough to be your mom, so I'm good with supporting you as a friend. Instead, I'm a "friendly internet stranger"...😅 but I still mean every word!
May your trip being an abundance of good for you, even if you have to be home for a bit to really relax enough to unpack it all! 🥰🥰🥰
I second that (except I'm not a mom).
I truly didn't expect to see the sunflower lanyard in America but it's good to see. Last time I was at an airport. Staff noticed me and helped me through. Spreading understanding and awareness is important
I just got home from my first solo trip and I had such a similar experience and I really appreciate your willingness to share your journey. I really resonate and understand what you're feeling. I hope you enjoyed all the fun things you had planned.
I am crying just hearing the awful noises!!! 😭😭😭
I can't imagine your pain. I would need weeks to recover!
Thanks for sharing and raising awareness.
You are my favourite super hero!🙏💝
Thanks for sharing, Jeremy. I’m not autistic, but I am ADHD with autistic traits. Seeing you struggle at every step of the way just feels so familiar. I HATE moving house, and I’m not keen on traveling. I have to say that traveling during the pandemic - which I had to do because of family emergencies and health issues - was actually BETTER than it was before or now, because everyone had to stay 6 ft apart from each other, and they were keeping empty middle seats, and guaranteeing that the planes were being sanitized. It was just so much easier to deal with it all, having a bit more space! And then when I got where I was going, I HAD TO take 5 days before I went anywhere! So I had time to adjust to the new time zone, and catch up on sleep, etc. I struggle SO MUCH getting ready and packed for a trip. It’s all so overwhelming, and it takes me WAY longer than I feel that “it should”.
Tangentially related I had someone get mad at me today because they thought I was “rude” and “left them hanging” on a shared project. The irony is that it was a shared project *about ADHD for a therapy grad school class*! LOLSOB. I really felt like they were shaming me for how I communicated my boundaries, and then they turned around and did my work FOR ME without asking! When all I said was “I can’t do this right now, because I have other things to do first.” And they didn’t bother to ASK ME about doing the work, just barreled on with it and then beat me over the head with the fact that it only took them two hours, with the implication that I should be ashamed of having a boundary and not being able to complete the project EARLY. I ended up so upset I couldn’t even work on the other project I needed to work on. And this person is going to be a therapist?? And has an (adult) ADHD KID??
I’m sorry that you experienced so much ignorance and ableism in your travels, just trying to get the services that you had clearly requested. Sometimes it really feels like a fish trying to communicate with a bird, when the fish is under water and the bird is in the air. No, really, I CAN’T “just fly”!
EDIT: Well, the person “accepted my apology” and has apologized in return for misinterpreting. But it has required me to be the one to adjust, as always. And I ended up with full on insomnia last night due to the stress. That’s not how they see it, of course. In their view they were “collaborating” and “expressing their feelings“ while in mine they were high handed, insensitive, and ableist. *sigh* At least I will have a chance to talk this over later with a neurodiverse friend. Hopefully after I get another nap. Zzzzzzz
Makes me feel less bad about the first time i've traveled alone in a plane and cried a bit. I'm way too ashamed to call ahead or tell anyone. It made me never again not buy a ticket from the airline I am going with directly. Then staff from that airline usually helps you much more readily, even if I don't need anymore help in by far most cases.
Or last time I did, when I ended up at the wrong airport... that was a difficult day. Spending the extra money brought up a lot of financial anxiety. I almost didn't go to get out about even. I start to get extremely forgetful when I am stressed like in such situations, but ending up at the wrong airport was a first.
I wonder if my shame and masking is helping me or holding me back.
I look normal, I talk mostly normal like you, but that makes me feel I don't have the right to have problems even more. When I was in a cast I felt a lot less stigma about asking for help.
Ah, why do I see myself in nearly every scene of this video? My friends know already how much I stress out when I have to travel. Recently I flew for the first time in like 20 years. Airport staff was very friendly. But nobody knew or recognized the sunflower lanyard. Same with all train stations in Germany, Belgium and the UK. But TSA staff at the priority security lane (I booked this ahead) was incredibly friendly and respectful. They obviously had a diversity training.
This made me want to cry. I feel so bad for you.
I'm really REALLY enjoying your videos since I discovered you last week. I hope your trip goes well.
Oh gods. "With all the fun things I have planned, I wish I was home right now" that was so many of the trips I took and events I went to. When I heard you say that, I just started sobbing because it was the First time I'd Ever heard another person express that feeling. Thank you.
Probably Boeing.. 😂
Yeah I only flew once and never want to do it again. I'm sorry you are having a hard time. Big hugs!! 💚
This is me. Thank you for the rep! Very familiar. And ugh checking in is a nightmare when they're rude and treat you with suspicion and you're just overwhelmed 😣
Thank you. I struggle with travelling too and the end hit me hard because I feel that way when I get to the hotel too. It’s like we push ourselves to just get through the travel part but then not having our safe space at the end is the toughest part for me too.
I am so glad you did decide to film this segment - most especially for it helping you through the experience itself;f, but also because it is empowering you to show how you have not been properly cared for as needing assistance. Us being able to join you through it allows us to see all the areas lacking support for us. I cannot thank you enough for making us aware
This actually makes me feel less disabled. I've flown on my own several times, although I have been known to get anxious at airports even though nothing really bad has ever happened to me at an airport (so it can't be trauma). On a side note, I also get anxious sometimes when I drive places I don't usually drive, so I imagine that that was part of the bad experience for this uploader. As for the sunflower symbol, I'm pretty sure that some people just don't know about it, which, I agree, does detract from its usefulness. With all of that in mind, I'm very proud of this uploader for flying on his own with so little of the help he needed.
My long distance fiancé lives in the USA, and I live in NZ, so I've made a total of 2 trips there and back so far.
On the last trip I cried uncontrollably just before landing after a stupidly long flight (almost 14h). Then it was getting through that massive airport, through security, waiting in lines standing even though I was in severe physical discomfort, finding where my gate was, which train to take, walking all the way to where my gate was, finding food, then waiting several hours for my last flight despite wanting to sleep, being so exhausted and done with travelling on the last flight, having a terrifying landing, and then finally getting to be with my fiancé... I balled my eyes out once I got to the house and was finally able to relax.
Travelling as an autistic is f*cking horrible.
The one thing I'm glad about is the next time I go over there I won't have to do it again for a very long time 🎉
Oh and to add, thankfully the attendants and workers were all helpful when I needed assistance - I asked a flight attendant for a tissue when I was sobbing, and she came back with a whole box 😭 I don't know who you are but thank you girl, that was an unexpected gesture of kindness cos I needed more than one tissue for sure
I wanted to cry when you started crying. Smh. I started the day with bad anxiety and watching your video exacerbated it. I cannot travel alone and having something else to focus on does help which is why I'm constantly on my phone. I'm glad that vlogging helped you. Sending positive vibes.
I am Autistic. This is literally nightmare fuel. I am so so proud of you, this is huge. ❤
I’m so pleased you were able to find the right support person to pick you up from the airport. Thank you for sharing your experience 💜
I have a child who struggles tremendously with travel. Thank you for this video, you’ve helped give me some perspective and I hope I can be more compassionate in the future. Especially the last bit, when you got to the hotel. Thank you. Thank you. This is what I needed to see.
Thank you for sharing! ! Raising this awareness is so, so, so, so important!! I made 3 trips clear across the country (Washington State to the East Coast) and back every 2 weeks over -both- Winter
holidays (omg... **holidays** at the airport!) to see a family member I thought might die, the first trip being entirely impromptu. I'm not Autistic. I do have ADHD, trauma both historical and recent with my family, chronic pain, multiple health conditions, an extensive array of meds and supplements I have to travel with, and a HIGHLY restricted diet due to my medical conditions. Just. Awful.
I MAGICALLY didn't end up forgetting anything any of those times (well just a phone cord left behind in the rental car on my way home, on my 3rd and final trip)!! Buuut every single night before and the day of going to the airport was HOURS of running through mental checklists, ADHD paralysis in the form of blankly staring at things while trying to process what I needed to do next, in and out of bed as I thought of something else, in and out of the car to dart back inside to get a thing, massive anxiety- and grief-driven sleep deprivation, plus jet lag. Sooo much crying while driving to and from the airport, to and from where said family member was, and 2 out of those 3 trips throughout the airport. Also white knuckled my emotions every time on the plane to try to avoid calling attention to myself because I also have a fear of flying (TOTALLY fine... until there is even a HINT of turbulence... and one leg of one trip was WAY more than a hint)... and because my heart was ripped out of my chest every time the plane lifted off the air strip on the way back home because I wasn't sure if I'd ever see them alive again.
I too experienced long waits, lack of or confusing signage, unhelpful people but also some amazing people (my Airbnb host was perfection!), website issues of a different type, and confusing processes. Inconsistent application of TSA guidelines and me being held up for a few extra minutes under scrutiny a couple of times did not help.
I was thinking, wow, it must help to talk about this while going through it. It really helps me to watch this to understand my own experiences better.
Thank you for sharing and normalizing the struggle. I love and hate to travel. Sensory is often a nightmare, and you are correct. Signage is abysmal. I personally no longer drive to and from the airport but hire a shuttle. I cannot do parking and TSA. But I love seeing new places, so I still go. I hope the rest of the trip goes well.
Glad you got there ok! Sorry it was such a tough experience for you. I hope I never have to go through an airport again - they are hellish places staffed by the most officious, unhelpful people (with the odd exception, I’m sure).
Thank you for showing this and being vulnerable in what your real authentic experiences are traveling as an autsitic person. I appreciate this as an autistic person in knowing things that I can ask for help that some neurotypicals don’t need. 💗
Thank you so much for sharing this. It made me feel less alone in my hatred of travel. If I could instantly transport to my destination it might be more tolerable, but the travel itself is so stressful that it isn't worth if for anything less than an *amazing* vacation spot. And honestly, even the best vacation spot is going to have a hard time competing with the safe comforts of home.
For sensory overload, I really appreciate Schiphol Airport in Amersterdam: safe, excellent parking, very clear layout and signage, clearly marked and easy local transport of every kind, a gentle voice for the people-mover conveyor belts that simply says “watch your step” in a relaxed way, free luggage carts…and a very quiet and newly renovated Hilton hotel accessible from INSIDE the airport to crash in before the next leg of a journey. Plus many other hotels quite nearby.👍 There are still lots of people, announcements, and waiting to endure, but it’s the best airport I’ve been in so far (USA or EU).
Stopping to get gas close to home is a good trick to help remember stuff we forgot. I've reduced a lot of anxiety about packing by reminding myself most cities have a Target or Walmart.
My sister lives a couple states away and over the last couple years, as im learning about sensory overload, I've been realizing why it is I don't travel on my own. Even the prep work and getting time off is extremely overwhelming for me. Thank you for sharing your journey and the reality of traveling alone. And I hope you have a lot of fun on your trip!
omg ily so much this is so goddamn relatable
I'm glad you made it there safely, and navigated all the challenges. Travel is stressful, even more so for many of us who are neurodivergent in some way. I hope the rest of your trip is enjoyable and goes smoothly.
I didn't know about the sunflower thing before now. Doing research now and I could nearly cry - I wish i knew about this during my immigration. ADHD, Autism, and chronic migraine are all on their list. This really could change my relationship with travel. Thank you.
This made me feel anxious for you. 😢 I can’t imagine going on a flight alone without assistance either. The two times I’ve flown I was with family that knew I needed to be helped.
I really hope you can decompress and enjoy your trip .. I also hate traveling (airports are uncomfy, planes are uncomfy, hotels/apartments don’t feel right especially initially)..
I’m so glad you had a support person - I know I am thankful to have someone to carry the mental load of logistics for me when traveling
I appreciate you sharing this. I've gotten to where I feel confident enough in my abilities to problem-solve that I feel capable of traveling to unfamiliar places, but it's still very much a trial. When I was younger, I just couldn't travel on my own. It was so stressful and terrifying, and I was fortunate I was able to get support, but it was very stressful to be undiagnosed and afraid to ask for help because I didn't understand why I needed it so much. I feel like you're really normalizing these autistic struggles, and I appreciate it.
Thank you for making this. I’m not diagnosed but it just goes to further confirm to me that I would be if given the opportunity. This is exactly what I experience every time I travel. It’s less bad when I’m traveling with someone who’s a “safe person” that I know well and that doesn’t wear me out. And it was wonderful when I first got my “real job” in cybersecurity where I could afford to fly first class before COVID - that let me skip most of the line at security and board first and sit at the front of the plane and have extra space and extra and better service on the flight, and so on and so forth that it made flying soooo much more comfortable and easier over all. But the rest of the stuff was still exactly the same and it’s surprising how much it all wore me out even though I love the actual flying part. But after COVID? I’m not sure that even first class would be enough to compensate for my experience traveling. I think I have to stick with driving over flying at this point, because everything I’ve seen and heard about flying since COVID has me terrified at the prospect. Not because flying is scary, but because I don’t think I have enough reserves to deal with all the anciliary garbage that tends to go along with flying today.
How I long for high speed rail that gets you all over the country! I wish this country had managed to remain civilized as it aged. It’s terrible for people like me now. I feel for you and hope your trip back is/was a lot better.
Thank you for making this. I have a trip coming up this summer, and this video did a lot to help me not feel so different. At least there are other people who are different like me. Thank you
I have traveled through airports my whole childhood. This past week was my first time post diagnosis without assistance. My service dog was also sick and couldn't join me. I know how it goes and it was still so difficult and nerve wracking and awful. I didn't even know there was a care program for us ND. Obviously they're not going to help anyway, either. ..... So you're not alone, it's not just you, and thank you for sharing.
Thanks so much for sharing this 🙏🏻
I used to travel a lot for work long before realising I was autistic and would wonder why I got so overwhelmed and burnt out and my colleagues seemed to be able to manage.
I now live in a van and travel slowly with my safe space 'on my back' which makes things a lot easier. And I really have no desire to get on a plane again anytime soon!
Oh, and I have the same issues with hoodies, that bit made me chuckle in solidarity 💙
I'm autistic and I rarely travel; the only times I have done so by myself are places I've already been with family. Thankfully, I've never had to deal with needing assistance from airport staff. Every time I take these steps:
1. for EACH airport: talk with someone who has been in the airport before to make sure I know exactly where I'm going and what I have to do (security, at the gate, getting on/off the plane, etc.), often looking at a map ahead of time (also to make sure everything I pack is TSA approved)
2. have someone drop me off so I don't have to deal with parking and know exactly where I'm going to start on the map (and have someone to pick me up and decide where from)
3. never check a bag if I can help it (I know that's not possible for everyone, but it drastically reduces the number of steps I have to take and thus areas for issues to arise)
4. take a screenshot of my boarding pass AND print it if I'm able (the redundancy makes me feel better)
5. have someone I know I can call/text if I have any questions (I often talk through what I have to do at security while waiting in line because that part is super stressful)
6. have a small, one-handed fidget toy while waiting in line (mine is attached with a carabiner to my bag so I can't loose it)
7. once through security, recheck the gate and time of the flight (there's usually a big screen right past security listing this)
8. find gate and confirm departure time again before considering going to get a drink
9. fill my water bottle (it needs to be empty going through security) and pee (even if I don't feel the need, I still sit on the toilet just in case)
10. find a corner to sit in if I can, otherwise use my bags to block off areas around me to get more space OR sit as near as possible to the gate so I'm less likely to miss announcements
11. board the plane (I suggest looking up the boarding method of the airline you're flying) - this is another place where I have a fidget toy
12. once I've shown my boarding pass and am on the bridge to the plane, I put on headphones (you can do it earlier, but I'm usually too stressed about missing my flight until this point)
13. put carryon bag in overhead bin (it doesn't have to be right next to your seat, but near or in front of is best so you don't have to push past people behind you to get your bag when getting off the plane)
14. sit down and set up area for flight - I put my water bottle in the seat-back pocket in front of me, make sure everything I need is easily accessible from the bag by my feat, and take out anything else I need right away
15. get through flight
16. after landing, call the person picking me up so they know I've landed and to confirm where they're picking me up (this is in general either arrivals or departures - you head in the same direction for both at first - follow signage for baggage claim, you'll pass through an area that says something like 'no turning back past this point' which basically means you would have to go through security again to get back to the main part of the airport, if being picked up at departures continue following signs for baggage claim, if being picked up at arrivals you should see something similar to when you arrived at the airport with places to check your bag with each airline, walk outside call or text the person picking you up with information about where you are - often there is a door number that you can give)
Other notes:
1. when deciding on which seat to get, think about these factors: window seats mean you have to ask your neighbors so you can go to the bathroom and you may feel closed in by the wall on one side and people on the other and you may have slightly less room by your feet; aisle seats mean you will be asked to get up so your neighbors can go to the bathroom and people will be walking past you frequently; middle seats are horrible; seats closer to the front mean you get to board and get off sooner; seats closer to the back are more likely to have empty seats giving you more space and are closer to the bathrooms
2. when getting on or off the plane, you can always wait until the crowds thin before going, although make sure to let your neighbors out if you're in an aisle seat
3. things I pack (in a bag to put by my feet that is very big (check size requirements) and has lots of pockets): a water bottle, a variety of snacks with different flavors/textures that aren't very messy, a variety of activities that engage different senses/parts of the brain, at least one fidget toy, a pillow/stuffed animal, a ziplock bag to use for trash, hand sanitizer, a mini first-aid+ kit (band-aids, advil, hair ties, basically anything small that I can just have a few of that I might need either in actuality or for my piece of mind), extra masks, chargers
4. I also download some stuff to do on my phone as a backup
Traveling is so hard. This is definitely relatable. I never drive myself to an airport, that’s probably the worst part because it sets me up for even worse anxiety the rest of the way after all that adrenaline. I agree there are too many barriers to getting assistance. But it is helpful to know I should plan to call beforehand 😕 I’ve had airlines cancel my dietary restriction requests less than a week before flying and change seats away from the person I was flying with, which I had set weeks before, and had to ask a family member who is good at arguing to help me call and get them to fix it. They couldn’t really but they tried. It was awful
Thank you for putting this out here. This is my experience when I travel alone, which is most of the time 😢 Also, I had no idea you have to call ahead to get assistance
I think I just felt that with you from start to finish. I wanted to cry too.
I traveled one time anout 40 years ago. I think I made just about everybody in that stopover, from one flight to the other, very angry. Apparently I get very pushy when I am scared and frustrated. The airport people were very kind though, probably because I was a child.
Hopkins is terrible. I had to pick up an eclipse guest last night. I almost missed the lane for the cell phone lot, then almost missed the airport lane after leaving the cell phone lot. When I got to the exact intersection you showed, there were so many cars lined up for Arrivals that I had to sit through an extra traffic light cycle to get to the Departures lane, even though it was nearly empty. Thankfully, my guest didn't check any bags, so they saved us at least 20-30 more minutes by meeting me at the Departures door.
Sending all the good wayfinding vibes your way. I hope New York meets you well. You can do this! 😊
Thank you, and I'm so sorry. I have GAD/ ADHD and I'm about to take a trip myself, so thank you for the travel tips - I just took a screenshot of my ticket, just in case.
I hope your trip goes well ❤
We're here for you, so glad you're sharing with us!!
You can and should send complaints about unsatisfactory experiences to TSA. Although the TSA 'cares' program wants a call ahead. You requesting extra time and assistance should have received it at that time.
They should be trained such that 'I need extra assistance and time is there someone who can take me through this slowly' is enough.
You can submit a TSA cares request online it's a form. The calling is required if it's needed within 72 hours. On your flight back just at the point they ask for your ID (if you didn't get Cares set up) ask for a manager. Say I need to get through this with help.
You shouldn't need any of this advice it should be easier.
(Other options if you want. On your delta app the same place you requested help, request a wheelchair. This will get you 'a visible disability' and a trained employee to help you through TSA. You will have to go check in at the Delta desk but may gain you an advocate right out the gate.)
I don't have direct issues with calling on phones once it has started, but it's really, really hard to actually plan to do it. To y'know, get it started.
Super helpful video! You rock!!!
Thank you for sharing this. It saddens me that they were so unsupportive and that you had to experience this, but it helps me know what to expect if/when I get a chance to fly - I have never flown before, or at least not on a plane (I once got to ride in a military helicopter and loved it). I hope to go on a trip sometime in the next few years that involves airline travel, but I have anxiety about almost everything you highlighted here. I'm fortunate that my wife has flown several times and I have some advanced knowledge of the nearby international airport, but I know that I will still be fighting overload and overwhelm whenever I finally get the chance.
I think vlogging it made it feel like you weren’t traveling alone which helps even if we can’t actually help you navigate the unknown. I’ve always struggled with the unknown. I credited my dad for that anxiety because he would yell/spank any time I made mistakes as a child. But from this and the last video I’ve been considering it through an autistic lens.
Your trip sounds absolutely horrible. Thank you so much for putting in the effort of making this vlog, I truly see myself in your experiences.
Thank god the experience of recording turned out to be a kind of coping mechanism for you
I have ADHD and autism and used to be a flight attendant (I didn’t know I had autism at that time, because autism wasn’t a thing for women until recently).
I used to have meltdowns all the time (usually in my hotel room), and kept a journal of it. I quit after 6 years of doing that and have barely travelled since, because it was such a miserable experience for me, even with crew security bypass that I had for my job (which wasn’t at every airport, and they are just as rude to flight crew, though Customs is so much worse). I have written entire essays about it.
When I do travel by air (a very rare thing for me since working in the industry), I always ALWAYS only travel with carry-on and never check my bags, as bags get delayed or lost all the time and I don’t want to deal with that when I am already away and stressed.
Road trips are longer, but SO much easier. I would rather spend hours driving and listening to podcasts or audiobooks than 5 minutes of misery at an airport. I drove across the country for a move instead of flying, because I didn’t want to put myself through the stress.
I often wish train travel was more common and affordable in North America, because it’s so much more civilized and human-friendly. When I was a flight attendant, I secretly hoped some genius entrepreneur would revolutionize train travel and make it trendy and affordable so the entire airline industry would diminish.
big ups for sharing this man, and hugs if you accept them, i sometimes vlog when i want to do something that whelms me like going outside for a walk to get some sun in, and i have no valid accomodation like ear and eye protection, and i have ongoing anxiety from neverending stress i guess, sometimes i vlog what im doing and talk about it and i am not sure what about it soothes me but it is very surprisingly comforting, like always considerably more than i'd expect it to be.
❤ I wish it will get easier after you get some rest and start to know the location a bit better, like knowing your way around, finding some good food to eat etc. By the way, one tip I suggest is getting food via delivery, that way you can avoid a lot of overstimulation (though I guess you knew this already, but just in case).
Sorry to report that that looks like either an Embraer or Bombardier. Both also very safe brands.
The sign is… not exactly supposed to be like that, but it’s normal. It’s not attached to the skin of the plane in any way, and you’re perfectly safe. The maintenance issues were probably to make sure every system had two or more backups. If that doesn’t ease your mind, I know I usually feel better on larger planes like A220s and 737s because they are more standardized and often look better.
I don’t like traveling alone, and I hope you enjoy at least parts of NY.
That sounds like a _particularly_ awful experience and I'm so sorry they were so unwilling to help you when _their_ systems f-ed up!
Particularly egregious was the lack of signage. It's relatively cheap to have good signage, but so few people respect the work of UX designers (or whatever the non-digital equivalent is) to actually hire them to make sure that experience is easy for customers. _Especially_ those first few cries were sheer incompetence on the airport's part, and starting off an experience as stressful as travelling with extra stress because you're not provided with the information necessary to get where you need to go, that just spends so many more spoons at the start leaving so few left for the rest of the journey!
Never fly into sea-tac by the way, that airport was the worst I've ever been in with lacking signs and lying signs.
For your next trip, see if there's a 3rd party parking service near the airport. The one near the Indianapolis airport costs less than economy parking with a covered lot and a free shuttle to and from the terminal right from your car. And driving to their parking lot is easier since they aren't located in the airport itself.
You did great and yes, traveling sucks. Good luck and I hope you can enjoy your trip! Keep on keeping on. ❤
I've owned a sunflower lanyard for years. Still haven't worn it. But I'm told the airports in my country are well trained. (I also haven't flown for years either because it takes a lot to make that worthwhile!).
The fact they mandate a call to recieve assistance is ridiculous!! Part of the reason I would need assistance in the first place is because I have auditory processing disorder and delayed sensory processing.
How do they expect people who are fully deaf to request aid?? Not everyone has access to a person who can call ahead for them.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I wish things were more logical and reasonable in the land of the neuroblands. Having to fight so hard just to get the help and instruction that everyone should have ready access to is ridiculous. There should be mandatory accesabiity training for every employee in customer-facing service positions. I hope your vido is seen and acted on positively by those ignorant souls who couldn't be arsed to even finish putting up the bloody signage.
I just wish they wouldn't lie about things so that it was possible to actually prepare.
Airports really do suck for us autistic folks. One time I did call ahead about needing assistance switching flights, it was clearly specified why I needed it, but when I got to the second airport, someone showed up with a wheelchair. I did not, in fact, need a wheelchair, and when I told them that, they just left, because apparently only people with mobility disabilities need assistance getting around the airport… ( -_-) I did find my other flight by myself, but I’d pretty much completely shut down as soon as I’d gotten to my seat. Thankfully I was meeting up with someone at the last airport, so I didn’t need to exhaust myself much further figuring out where to exit at.
I appreciate that they are somewhat trying, but I really don’t feel like they know what they’re doing to even offer help in the first place. Like yeah, they have sunflower posters on the walls about invisible disabilities, but despite the many times I’ve traveled, I’ve never actually gotten any kind of assistance from the airport unless I was travelling with my mom, who is physically disabled.
I really like that you are comfortable to wear the Sunflower lanyard. And good job for doing things anyways 🙂
The following people is so accurate lol
Plus on my side: I travel with my gf each time
Negatives: she is also autistic
4:45 I woke up after sleeping on the floor in the Denver airport for 5 hours to find my app would no longer function.
The Panic is real.
Unfortunately in the UK the sunflower lanyard isnt really helpful because during COVID it was co-opted by anti-maskers who would where it as a "you can't question me for not wearing a mask anymore" shield :(
I would say I have mild to medium train anxiety. Expecially if I go to places I don't usually go to or outside my city and am alone. It can all be pretty much summed up as a strong anxious response to potentially getting yelled at for not having a valid ticket. Because the train within my city is free for bus plan users. So that's why it's only outside the city or in other areas. I went to the outskirts a few times to go to a far away mall. The first time because it was the only location of an electronic store and I had to send in my laptop for warranty. It was purchased from that chain store except in a different city. Which they bullied me into paying when I wasn't in the wrong. They said it was a firmware issue where it resulted firmware Y was installed but the actually installed one was X. And my laptop crashed. To which they said they can't tell if it was a malware issue. I hardly believe they didn't find a virus. They were looking for an excuse to have me pay. Then they said the price was 20 euros. Fine. The next day I chose to believe it was 20 but dad wanted to double check so he called them and asked them. They said 29. I was also told all the files got lost (I felt bad but not too much as the pc was almost new so there wasn't much on it). When I got there I told them they said 20. He had the nerve to tell me 29 is still 20 not 30. I'm shocked to this day.
Anyways I was getting crazy worried that I'd get off at the wrong stop (I had to get off at Pontedecimo which is the very last stop in my city in that direction) and I'll be fined. My mom's response to all of this? "Just pay for the fine and don't stress out if that happens. Also it's okay to check where you are" yeah but not when I can feel I did two stops and the next one is mine. The train I take to see my dad only does 2/3 stops depending where I get on. Sometimes it leaves from the nearest train station to me. Sometimes the one right after. And only two stops before the one I need to get off at. It's a train that goes to Turin. It's always the same train. It always does the same stops. I can feel and see all the stops as I like to sit by the window. I still get anxious I'm going to miss my stop and I'm getting yelled at for some reason. But the first time I got my ticket checked it went okay. I wasn't stressed at all. She couldn't read the qr code as we were in a tunnel and my qr code wasn't loading. She manually inserted the numbers of my ticket and said it was okay and left.
I have never had this much anxiety, when I have travelled alone. But I have planned my route so well and I have had help in online if there has been issues and I have been all THE spots (flight, long distance train/buss) at least two hours before what they recommend so I have really enough time if aomething happens. And at the end it has been mostly enjoying the expirience of travelling.
BUT with my child. No. I just can not handle travelling with all super details with plan a, b and c and then making sure all the situations what might happen with child and those situations needs plan a, b and c. I'm just waiting that she is old enough so we can do this like somewhat same mind state without meltdown what will burn down the plans a and b and after that I don't have the plans d, f and g to back up me 😅
So yes. Even though I haven't had those feelings by myself, I have expirienced that with my child and it takes every Joy from travelling what accually makes travelling really enjoyable for me.
And now when I started to memorize my first expiriences, it wasn't so much fun. But hey, math or swedish wasn't so much fun either, but when I had chance to use that knowledge what they smashed in my head, it gave me the feeling of success. I have learned something and I know how to use it 😊
I hope you have that same feeling, when you go back home ❤
I am so very sorry that the things they said they put in place.They made unnecessarily difficult.
Like there's no reason whyou should have to call ahead when you already did the thing in the app.
If the thing in the app doesn't do anything why even have it
Omg, this is horrible! I would have a meltdown at the beginning of this journey.
I flew to Memphis by myself once. It wasn’t that bad, but my mom drove me to the airport. I’m thinking next time I fly by myself, I’ll take the bus. It’s $3 instead of $100 for parking, they drop you right off at the gate, and I need to wait an hour after breakfast to drive, because of my medicine anyway, so I lose no time. If I go to Memphis, I’ll drive though. I have 16 hours of original songs I recorded on RUclips and they take just enough spoons to listen to so I can drive at the same time. I’d be bored listening to them on a plane and listening to them while watching videos is too many spoons.
I get flight nightmares about a month either side of travel, this video put me in a fear space i didn't expect :P
I also RESEARCH like a neurotic bitch, but ofc this isn't an accessible option for everyone. Recently realised i can't let my partner research because he doesn't research enough by my standards and then i get mad because he'll ask me for help and I HAVEN'T RESEARCHED.
I've found that cleaners/janitors and the folk behind the bars are the most helpful for directions (but i might be playing the young-pretty-woman with this one, can't guarantee everyone will have the same experience).
Fuuuuudge airport parking, find your local airport shuttle or even fork out for a taxi.
Traveling is really difficult as to be out of comfort zone, I just shutdown or get horrible migraine after reaching destination
Nice to meet you~ Jeremy!thanks!perfect content- see you soon~ 🤞
I'm sorry this was so difficult. With the amount of staff and disabled travelers they would be fairly busy.... And actually be accessible.
I can't travel by myself at all. Topographical disorientation is a bitch, and I can even get lost in the city I've lived in for 44 yrs. Its frustrating and makes me feel stupid and useless. I mean, anyone can read a map or use gps, right? I'm an adult, right? Yes, but disabled, so its not "simple" I'm made to feel like i'm not trying.
I had to take a flight last October. I feel physically sick reliving this with you. 😢
OMG THE SUNFLOWER LANYARD YASSSS
It would be validating if it wasn't so depressing. Will it just be this hard forever?
Fk that. I'm driving. Idc where. I can carry a heater. Lol
WAIT. Wait wait wait wait wait a minute. You were thinking about what's happening, and mentally reframing it, in terms of "how am I gonna explain this in a video"? And that's a form of dissociation?
Holy frick, I do that all the damn time and I never knew. I'll be randomly thinking about something complex, and running through my head how I might explain it to a hypothectial 5-year-old. Or I'll run into some minor issue at work, and I'll be mentally rehearsing how I want to try to explain it to my boss. Like yeah, its a helpful thought pattern, stops me from freezing up and stumbling over my words as much when it's time to actually talk to someone about the thing, but I'd never considered it to be a form of dissociation.
I always get screenshot of anything that I feel it's important n send it to myself on WhatsApp
I felt this so hard. I had a very long flight in november that lasted for 14 hours in the plane alone, not counting in travel time to and from the airport and to the place I was staying at. When i finally came off of the plane, my brain felt so fried that i had to actively avoid looking people in the face or risk breaking down crying in the middle of the street 😵💫😭 The flight was stressful, but in that moment i was almost wishing going right back onto that plane back home. I didn't know there was assistance available at all, or is that only in specific countries?