Sign up for Jack's brand-new FREE masterclass, "Say Hello To Mr. Right" here: helenahart--jackbutler.thrivecart.com/the-real-relationship-program/5e99c140ee220/ Register for Jack's FREE webinar, "3 Keys To Being Relationship Ready: How Successful Women Find And Keep A High-Quality Man" here: becomingtheone.us/3-keys-webinar
I’ve coached many people into developing deeper relationships that originally seemed unavailable. There’s two keys. One is that we expect so much so fast and don’t have any tolerance. We expect people to know we are amazing right away but we can’t rush intimacy. Second we shouldn’t wait around. I say invest in you and leave the door a little ajar if they seem extraordinary. I say don’t let anyone rent space in your head that they haven’t paid for...meaning efforts and investment. If it feels yucky then let go. I just see too many people rush the intimacy in the beginning stages and get hurt. Men can seem very excited when they first connect and then back off to focus on their main priorities. We should never expect to be at the top of someone’s list so soon and we should never do the same. I tell women to relax after you have seen consistent efforts and solid character for three months straight. Just my opinion. But I have seen much success and guided people into wonderful relationships that they would have abandoned if they followed these theories. Yes if someone is a love avoidant type or simply not interested, then there’s nothing you can do long term.
It’s so important to value oneself and to spend quality time connecting to oneself. I love my time for myself. Guys who are your guy will know that you need that time. They will respect that. I now know that men need to be showing true interest and be consistent. I was with one guy who would hardly ever initiate contact, and his answers were one-word texts. He did not initiate at all. Not my guy!
After watching this video about four times, I gained the nerve to end a breadcrumbing situationship. I feel so empowered and free to let genuine love find me.
I’m happy to hear that, thanks for sharing! 💗 These videos I recorded with Jack should help confirm that you made the right decision: ruclips.net/video/EFzjPYsm_Pk/видео.html and ruclips.net/user/live_iPJxM7VwQo?feature=share.
Talk about perfect timing on this. I'm a people pleaser and have always attracted emotionally unavailable men. 7 minutes into this and I'm trying to search why I cant give myself the love and care that I give others. Like it's actually scary how much I extend for others but would never for myself. I have so much work to do, speaking about pulling back and taking care of myself. This hit the spot. Thank you!!
You’re welcome, I’m so glad this resonated with you! This video should be really helpful if you haven’t seen it yet (I’d love to hear your thoughts on it!): ruclips.net/video/NNjJCM5Fz0s/видео.html
I just got out of a breadcrumb relationship after months of trying to convince a guy to love me as much as I love him. I have never heard the term "breadcrumb" in a relationship context before and this video really hit home for me and helped me to see it for what it was, especially the lines "Chemistry is not compatibility" and "You can't make a these things [relationships] into what they're not." Thank you!
Isn’t it funny how the exact thing you needed to hear in a mountain of videos crosses your path at exactly the right time? This...helped me SO much! So much! Appreciated the message Jack. Lightbulb moments. Helena..yes! Something major just clicked in...thank you! ❤️🙌
Helena and Jack..this is simply mind-blowing content. This has got to be your best collaboration till date. Why don't people teach this in the university....do you know how many teenage girls and young adults will be spared of the agony..of coming face to face with oneself..and you guys make it so effort less and accessible..kudos to both of you.. your empathy and sensitivity towards these issues show how angelic your auras must be. I hope your message reaches many many people..love you both:)
WOW! I have listened a loooot of different podcasts and advices, but this conversation is pure gold! SIMPLE, PRACTICAL, USEFUL AND SO POWERFUL(just like the rest of your episodes Helena)! I appreciate your deep wisdom, experience and everything you have been through in order to be the persons you are today. Thank you! 🍀🙏🏻
You’re welcome, I’m glad you enjoyed this! ❤️ These videos I recorded with Jack might also be helpful: ruclips.net/video/EFzjPYsm_Pk/видео.html and ruclips.net/user/live_iPJxM7VwQo?feature=share.
20:26 "What your soul wants to learn in this lifetime is different than what your animal body is attracted to". Wow, that was well said. I think I need to read that 10X myself.
Sorry to hear you’ve been going through this. ❤️ These videos might also be helpful for your situation: ruclips.net/video/EFzjPYsm_Pk/видео.html, ruclips.net/user/live_iPJxM7VwQo?feature=share, ruclips.net/user/livelB_L7zPBjtU?feature=share, ruclips.net/video/IADc64qhmJs/видео.html and ruclips.net/video/4SBxUGRBFfI/видео.html.
@@HelenaHartCoaching you also guide our minds... but help women stay grounded in hearts. I was 100% in masculine energy til you helped me discover power of feminine energy. I only "heard you out" because you're intelligent.
You both discuss such seriously DEEP inner work, but when you’re both together in a video it blows my mind!!! 🤩 this is my favorite video yet 💞 it really hit home with me when Jack said the right guy doesn’t become the wrong guy because you’re taking it a little slow 💓
Wow, this was the missing piece of the puzzle! It makes perfect sense now why I’ve been in that kind of relationship and how the self love was how I overcame it. I was available for everyone but me! And yes I got bored with that relationship once I was healing too!
This is such great content!! I've often thought of my patterns as addictions if a sort, but have never heard of them as 'manic depression in a relationship' before. Whoa. Also, I like that Helena pointed out that we may not magically stop attracting these sort of unavailable men, but we can choose not to engage. This is where the all-important patience comes in though. If you're like me, you don't know these guts are unavailable immediately. The guys in my past didn't reveal themselves to be that way at first. If I'd simply gotten to know them slowly and waited before investing myself emotionally into them, I'd have saved myself lots of time, effort and pain. Thanks for this! 💜
Thank you Helena, your video has come in perfect timing. I’m currently battling with my heart and my head over someone who’s been exactly the same to me. Every time I walk away he pulls me back, he does not want commitments, but he does not want me to go find better. My heart and my head are invested in him, I’m trying to be strong and walk away, but I just don’t know how. Having listened to your video, there’s some great advice which I will put into practice, and hopefully, soon I will be completely free of this emotional attachment. We’re fighting everyday, and yesterday, finally I thought we’d turn a corner, but today, he’s gone back to ignoring me and blowing cold!!! My emotions can’t take much more. I really appreciate all the points in this video. Onwards and upwards. Thank you so much. Much love 💖💜
You’re welcome Lilia, I’m so glad this came at the right time for you! The livestream Jack and I did last week should also be really helpful: ruclips.net/video/CuWhh-DnLJY/видео.html
I truly enjoyed everything discussed in this video. Jack dropped so many nuggets of wisdom it really opened my eyes to how I've been living. I'm one of those people who is constantly available for other people but never quite showed up for myself. And I realised it stemmed from my need to be loved and appreciated. I'm learning to become my best friend now. It's so empowering when you know that there's always someone in your corner: you. Thank you very much for this video, Helena and Jack!
You’re welcome, Joyce! Thanks for sharing your experience here, I know SO many women can relate. These videos should be really helpful as well: ruclips.net/video/NNjJCM5Fz0s/видео.html and ruclips.net/video/lB_L7zPBjtU/видео.html.
Wow what a powerful video, one of the critical points that Jack made in this video is about the study on rats which teal swan used the same example in a video, on Rats, but this is absolutely clear how dangerous unhealthy and toxic this type of behavior is, how dysfunctional it is truly a massive turn off!
Wow! Helena just smacked me with something I need to think about...if he and I mirror each other so much...and he is emotionally available unavailable person...maybe that mirrors something about ME. Jack saying that I'm available and empathetic and helping spirit, wanting to help and heal others...but neglecting myself...🤦😢 So true! I would do anything for those I love...but if it is me...I'm not that important to myself. I need to heal this about myself. I am in the "death throes" of feeling confident about not accepting less than I deserve, and then feeling low because I feel badly and doubt myself and my boundaries...thinking perhaps I am being too walled off or too picky. I need the reinforcement that I'm needing to stay in my power and not cave. I stay busy to distract myself because otherwise these people who are not available become THE distraction from working on my goals and my dreams...it's like I sabotage things with myself and my "rocks on the ground" for "the castles in the sky". Maybe I just need to stay single and focus on my own goals and objectives. That is the only thing that is attainable right now and within my control. What I do and feel are the only things that serve me right now. If I'm doing those things...perhaps the right person will be attracted when I'm not looking and trying so hard to make something happen...not investing so much time into something that is a great big nothing burger. If he is attracted he will make the effort and when he does, I shouldn't be so available all the time. I need to value my time more and not give so much.
Thank you! I really needed this advice today. I expected, probably like others who may have found this video, that it was going to be more about getting a guy to stop breadcrumbing- when really it is YOU realizing if he’s doing that, he’s not going to change or be the one. Seems so simple but this video really sort of blew my mind! Thanks again 💕
WOW!! After years of therapy (and very recently finding out that i take care of everybody but they never take care of me and changing all of my relationships), what he said that if we are overly available for people (and his examples - by always being there for friends etc), we attract the opposite as a way to balance us. Mind blowing 🤯
I’m glad that resonated with you! I know MANY women can relate. These videos might be helpful: ruclips.net/video/NNjJCM5Fz0s/видео.html, ruclips.net/video/lB_L7zPBjtU/видео.html and ruclips.net/video/_InBosoccQ4/видео.html.
Same girl! My mother was selfish with her feelings and so was my Dad. She would withdraw her love when she felt jealousy or envy towards me. As an adult, I walked around dimming my light so that nobody would dis-love me.. and it got me nowhere. We’re all learning ♥️… I guess allowing those who truly love us a chance to connect with us is important.
You’re welcome! 💗 These videos I recorded with Jack might also be helpful: ruclips.net/video/EFzjPYsm_Pk/видео.htmlsi=owEAhGVTxgE3WN3u, ruclips.net/user/livegQNmkJHeNxo?si=ZIjDCxtHB5OL9taS and ruclips.net/user/live_iPJxM7VwQo?si=a5eePdgxv71Q8yVU.
You’re welcome! I share a VERY powerful self-love exercise in this video (I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences with it if you check it out!): ruclips.net/video/NNjJCM5Fz0s/видео.html
Thank you Helena💙 I just saw Jack's video last night and now he's here. You both are awesome. Always insightful. I realized I always overly care about the others' without seeing my own needs first because idk I always have a feeling like the world needs me and I'm abandoning myself all this time. But true, the more we care about ourselves, the less the unavailable guys attractive to us. I'm glad that I work on myself now. So grateful we have people like you and Jack who always inspire us💕
It’s intermittent reinforcement, its the strongest kind of reinforcement, Because you have to keep trying the behavior to get the result. You keep doing it thinking it will eventually pay off
Yes - thanks for sharing, Stephanie! This video I recorded with Jack should also be helpful for anyone who’s in a situation like that: ruclips.net/video/EFzjPYsm_Pk/видео.html
Love it! When you have a bread crumber, drop him immediately! It doesn't create a loaf! 🍞 I started doing this exact thing this week.lol It's easy as you don't accumulate the feelings & therefore are less hurt. You are all gems, so wait for that man that deserves your love. ❤
You’re welcome! Yes, Jack gives great advice! This livestream I did with him should also be helpful if you haven’t seen it yet: ruclips.net/video/CuWhh-DnLJY/видео.html
I'd love to reclaim my power!! I feel like when I don't hear from them for more than a day or so, that triggers my own "abandonment" or "unworthiness" feelings, so I won't accept that from someone else. I'm happy to have that one boundary. There is one man that is completely unavailable, doesn't want a relationship, but is very consistent with communication and to cut him off or stop talking to him makes me feel terrible and sad so I keep him around for whatever reason, knowing that it will never turn into an actual relationship! What's up with that?!?!
Thanks for sharing your experience here, Heidi - I know many women can relate. These videos might be helpful: ruclips.net/video/lB_L7zPBjtU/видео.html, ruclips.net/video/IADc64qhmJs/видео.html and ruclips.net/video/4SBxUGRBFfI/видео.html.
This video and the advice is brilliant ! I really needed to hear this right at this moment ! Thank you both ! Safe well wishes to you both ! 🙂❤ Breadcrumbs are never gonna make a loaf. Love that ! And don't let your inner critic in the backdoor ! Soo true ! Amazing ! 👏
Thanks for sharing your experience here, I know many women can relate (myself included!). This video might be helpful: ruclips.net/video/NNjJCM5Fz0s/видео.html
Thank you. I'm really sick of being rushed into meeting men who want to push my boundaries. It makes me afraid and I don't really feel like rushing into sex either.
I resonate with this topic. I am not really a woman who is settling with an unavailable man.. if only he did not deceived me telling everyone hes single including his best friend who is also my friend. This has something to do with my inner childhood wounds, trauma bond and gaslighting issues. It was an attraction that made me feel that he has an energy like my father's. Looking at it in a positive way, he sparked my awakening about the need to heal my inner childhood wounds. I was hurt by this toxic relationship but it made me learn about my imprinted buried childhood narrative during my childhood by my narcissistic parents. Now i am beginning to heal all those wounds with the help of psychotherapists avalable here on youtube. My favorites are Dr. Ross Rosenberg, Liza Romano, Dr. Ramani Durvasula, Dr. Les Carter, Stephanie Lyn Coaching, Lee Nieves Coaching, the royale we channel, Assc Direct channel, Rc Blakes Jr., Narc ology Unscripted, Dr. Linda Marthinez-Lewis, Melanie Tonia Evans etc. All of them have helped me discover about narcissism/ narcissistic personality disorder, how to deal with them, how to breakaway, how to heal after the separation. What is codependency, how to heal from it, how heal from trauma bond, how to heal from gaslighting, How to heal from SLDD(or codependency) and learn to love myself again and regain my power back. I have healed myself from SLDD. It took a sociopath to make me discover my inner childhood wounds and how to heal from them. I dont condemn my fantasy DM instead i thank him for coming into my life to teach me whats lacking in me. With the help of God, i will eventually forget him and the feelings of mistaken love i have for him...I knew he was also a wounded soul and i pray he will also find the inner childhood wounds within himself and find psychotherapists and God to heal himself! Thank you so much for your efforts to help us here on youtube.
These videos I recorded with Jack might also be helpful: ruclips.net/video/EFzjPYsm_Pk/видео.htmlsi=63eVXfez37NITrlA, ruclips.net/user/livegQNmkJHeNxo?si=R15RFRuWvI_I_0Fp and ruclips.net/user/live_iPJxM7VwQo?si=urJwy2zyZbXiDKHz.
This was so helpfull, I m so attracted to a man but I feel his energy is not consistent and I don't know what to do as I haven't feel so attracted to a man gor a while and if to ask him what is available for as I feel more lows and high.... Thank you so much for this video, it opened my eyes
Yes, Jack gives great advice! Here are a few more livestreams I’ve done with him if you’d like to check them out: ruclips.net/video/CuWhh-DnLJY/видео.html, ruclips.net/video/HRvJEJ6ygE8/видео.html and ruclips.net/video/Nw1smRqzd6E/видео.html.
Even at 40yrs & going back at again after a 10yr relationship and been focusing on myself last 2yrs..I still get breadcrumbs at times?? Think I'm just too nice at times. I've had enough 😅. If someone doesn't value my time, no thanks...next please ☝😁. Thank you for sharing this 💜
You’re welcome, Corrina! Thanks for sharing your experience here, I know many women can relate. This video might also be helpful: ruclips.net/video/ZlXm4QynpFM/видео.html
Lol even during this time .. we cant go out which is fine .. but he's always busy and tells me to be patient lol and I only see him once a week ... I said I'm worth more ... Not asking for alot ... Lol never fails ...I give to much
Thanks. Just ended it w a breadcrumber .. missing him but I'm not happy either way.....thanks..... timely video....I know when a man is persuing me, he's definitely not 😐
But what if you've had that conversation, agreed to not see anyone else, but then you stumble upon without snooping may I add, that he may be talking to another woman and is distancing from you a bit..but still hearing from him every day.
This really happens often, like not so often but yeah I do get attracted and also attract gradually emotionally unavailable men, but at times also end up attracting cheesy, too available or depressed or desperate souls as well! Lol is there a problem with me? Like in the first case I do understand that I had a problem with self love but what about the latter situation? I myself end up getting like not at all getting attracted to such desperate beings. Please guide!🙈🙈😂😂
Question!!!! what about the more like available unavailable type.... who's open with you... had been there for you... deep talks true connection, invests in you, talks about loving you but not sure hes ready for a relationship .... wth... we are so similar and have all the signs of being in a loving relationship ... we adore each other and not in a fantasy ... not like I've experienced before....I'm heart broken
@@HelenaHartCoaching hi! Any videos on online dating tips? I did bumble and it was awful over the years tbh. I’ve had friends have success but my experience was men were shuffling so many women they never knew when to stop and give someone a chance they click with. They never stop window shopping
I have been feeling anxious with this guy who talks to me when he feels like it.We went on 2 dates and we really liked each other but he hasn't been been consistent with me.He told me his work is more important .I am walking away,thank you
What about the guys that only want to text or make you feel like you are constantly interviewing and not asking questions back? Are those worth trying to get to know in person more or are their texting styles a good indicator on their level of interest??
Great question! I wouldn’t try to “get to know” a man over text messages. If he’s not making any moves to meet up in person (especially if you’ve expressed interest in that), I would move on. 💕
For me it's not that the guy is unavailable from that start. My problem is I develop a bond and fall in love with somebody who is consistently available for years at first. Once I am in love, I allow myself to trust them and their words. Then, after years of being attached to that person and seeing it as mutual thing, they spontaneously and slowly start to withdraw and pull away while assuring me that nothing changed and they still love me. And since I already trust them, I trust that they're just too busy for awhile Then, years later I realize that I feel so drained and in so much pain from missing and missing and missing someone who doesn't miss me back and then I have to stop and ask myself "How did I even get here? I don't like and don't want one-sided relationships but I find myself in them." What I learned for future is this. No matter how good a relationship is, as soon as something starts to change, it is a very good strategy to close my ears. Listening not to words but to actions helps to stay sober and clear-headed. So, when something doesn't feel right - that's when it's time to close my ears, ignore what they say and start to pay attention ONLY to actions. I have to literally shut down my ears and and force myself to start doubting their words. It is so hard to do because when you love someone, you want to take their words seriously and trust them. You just don't doubt someone you love! However, if I jot down all their actions or inactions in my calendar/diary and look and analyze them instead of just listening to what they say, I can notice the discrepancy much earlier! For example, if they become less available or slightly less friendly for 2 weeks - I write this down in my notes..Then they withdraw slightly more over the next 3 months - I write this down again. Then, when I try to discuss that change with them - they deny it and say "I love you so much and you mean everything to me and I just have more work lately". They're still available and friendly, but not as much. Then the pattern repeats, only this time they're more forgetful and not so friendly anymore: not hostile but neither friendly - their attitude is more neutral/passive.I write this down again and then I can notice their words didn't change a bit - they're replaying the same old narrative over and over "I love you so much and you mean everything to me but I just have so much to go through at work/family/co-workers/whatever...." - but their actions already deviated from their narrative way too much - I can see it now because I have been writing down all the changes! If you write down all the changes in their behavior - you will clearly see much sooner that your partner is not honest: he's either gaslighting you and denying the change in him or lying about his true intentions.But if you didn't write this down - you would forget what you noticed in the beginning and then you'd think that you must have misunderstood something. By writing down all the patterns that you go through in your relationship you allow yourself to see through everything clearly because it's on paper - black-on-white written record of what has happened without any confusion. And this is how you can help yourself to get out of this toxic rut.
Personally I would stay very far away from a man who does that. That being said, this video might help answer your question: ruclips.net/video/DvjgwlcjO3E/видео.html
I can totally relate my ex was that drop off type, interested into other women while I was with him and all he wanted was sex I told him that I wasn't interested and ready, but of course my parents wanted me to marry him even though I was trying to get out of the relationship completely
I really dunno if I should reach out to my ex boyfriend after a no contact.. its his birthday next month! I did send him flowers after we broke up in September.. there has been no contact from his side & he has been very firm of his discission that we are not meant to be .. some insight can be helpful
So I have a friend who has liked me for 4 years. I finally decide to give him a chance and once we start trying to communicate he only texts. I have told him twice I prefer to talk on the phone like we usually do however no change in his behavior. We have hung out twice and the feelings are there. The conversations are open and in depth. Yet he only texts me. Also every once in a while I won’t hear from for a day or 2. So yesterday he text after being distant and absent for 2 days but I ignored him. Should I only respond if he ever calls or, the next time he text should I respond ?
Shyann Hooper,I been these situations before I know it's frustrating.My advice is that next time you see him in person let him know you really like it when someone calls you rather then just texts because you want to hear the person's voice and have a real conversation.See if that does the trick. I think it's acceptable for someone to not make contact for a day or even a few days.Often people get cought up in their own lives and before you know it it's days have gone by.Maybe he has nothing new to really talk about so he reaches out when he does,could be a multitude of reasons I wouldn't take it personal.Also it's not a good idea to play games like in this instance he texts you don't reply.He might take that as a rejection and loose interest. Just tell him honestly how you feel and ask for what you want Hope this helps 🙏 Also if he's not your boyfriend yet he's not doing anything wrong. In my personal experience it's best to keep expectations low in the beginning as well
It’s basically when someone does just enough to keep you “there” but not enough to truly make you feel happy and secure in the relationship. This video explains it in detail: ruclips.net/video/lB_L7zPBjtU/видео.html
Sign up for Jack's brand-new FREE masterclass, "Say Hello To Mr. Right" here: helenahart--jackbutler.thrivecart.com/the-real-relationship-program/5e99c140ee220/
Register for Jack's FREE webinar, "3 Keys To Being Relationship Ready: How Successful Women Find And Keep A High-Quality Man" here: becomingtheone.us/3-keys-webinar
What do you think about the book « The Rules » ? Can you please make a video about this topic? Thank you so much from France ! ❤
I’ve coached many people into developing deeper relationships that originally seemed unavailable. There’s two keys. One is that we expect so much so fast and don’t have any tolerance. We expect people to know we are amazing right away but we can’t rush intimacy. Second we shouldn’t wait around. I say invest in you and leave the door a little ajar if they seem extraordinary. I say don’t let anyone rent space in your head that they haven’t paid for...meaning efforts and investment. If it feels yucky then let go. I just see too many people rush the intimacy in the beginning stages and get hurt. Men can seem very excited when they first connect and then back off to focus on their main priorities. We should never expect to be at the top of someone’s list so soon and we should never do the same. I tell women to relax after you have seen consistent efforts and solid character for three months straight. Just my opinion. But I have seen much success and guided people into wonderful relationships that they would have abandoned if they followed these theories. Yes if someone is a love avoidant type or simply not interested, then there’s nothing you can do long term.
Thanks for sharing your insights here! 💕
amen such an important view point.....good on you for sharing
Omg he has so much great advice!! I will no longer accept men who r unavailable it's such a waste of time
I’m happy to hear that! I agree, Jack’s advice is spot on!
It’s so important to value oneself and to spend quality time connecting to oneself. I love my time for myself. Guys who are your guy will know that you need that time. They will respect that. I now know that men need to be showing true interest and be consistent. I was with one guy who would hardly ever initiate contact, and his answers were one-word texts. He did not initiate at all. Not my guy!
I love what you said here Vickie, thanks for sharing your experience with this! 🧡
After watching this video about four times, I gained the nerve to end a breadcrumbing situationship. I feel so empowered and free to let genuine love find me.
I’m happy to hear that, thanks for sharing! 💗 These videos I recorded with Jack should help confirm that you made the right decision: ruclips.net/video/EFzjPYsm_Pk/видео.html and ruclips.net/user/live_iPJxM7VwQo?feature=share.
Talk about perfect timing on this. I'm a people pleaser and have always attracted emotionally unavailable men. 7 minutes into this and I'm trying to search why I cant give myself the love and care that I give others. Like it's actually scary how much I extend for others but would never for myself. I have so much work to do, speaking about pulling back and taking care of myself. This hit the spot. Thank you!!
You’re welcome, I’m so glad this resonated with you! This video should be really helpful if you haven’t seen it yet (I’d love to hear your thoughts on it!): ruclips.net/video/NNjJCM5Fz0s/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/3eDGTZjm0P0/видео.html
I just got out of a breadcrumb relationship after months of trying to convince a guy to love me as much as I love him. I have never heard the term "breadcrumb" in a relationship context before and this video really hit home for me and helped me to see it for what it was, especially the lines "Chemistry is not compatibility" and "You can't make a these things [relationships] into what they're not." Thank you!
You’re welcome, Laura! This is actually a very common situation. Thanks for sharing your experience here, I’m glad this video was helpful for you! ❤️
Isn’t it funny how the exact thing you needed to hear in a mountain of videos crosses your path at exactly the right time? This...helped me SO much! So much! Appreciated the message Jack. Lightbulb moments. Helena..yes! Something major just clicked in...thank you! ❤️🙌
You’re welcome Karen, I’m so glad this came at the right time for you! ❤️
Helena Hart ❤️
RELATING!
😢
Helena and Jack..this is simply mind-blowing content. This has got to be your best collaboration till date. Why don't people teach this in the university....do you know how many teenage girls and young adults will be spared of the agony..of coming face to face with oneself..and you guys make it so effort less and accessible..kudos to both of you.. your empathy and sensitivity towards these issues show how angelic your auras must be. I hope your message reaches many many people..love you both:)
Thank you so much Mangala, I’m glad this resonated with you! ❤️
Harsh truth but so right on. Thank you for articulating the madness. I’m so sick of allowing half my mental energy being wrapped up in a breadcrumber.
You’re welcome, I’m glad this was helpful! 💕
WOW!
I have listened a loooot of different podcasts and advices, but this conversation is pure gold!
SIMPLE, PRACTICAL, USEFUL AND SO POWERFUL(just like the rest of your episodes Helena)!
I appreciate your deep wisdom, experience and everything you have been through in order to be the persons you are today.
Thank you! 🍀🙏🏻
You’re welcome, I’m glad you enjoyed this! ❤️ These videos I recorded with Jack might also be helpful: ruclips.net/video/EFzjPYsm_Pk/видео.html and ruclips.net/user/live_iPJxM7VwQo?feature=share.
20:26 "What your soul wants to learn in this lifetime is different than what your animal body is attracted to". Wow, that was well said. I think I need to read that 10X myself.
I’m glad that resonated with you! I really liked that too, so powerful! 💜
AGREED!!!!
Ive been letting a breadcrumber destroy me emotionally and resulting in physical destruction. He crushes my heart. Cant take it anymore
Sorry to hear you’ve been going through this. ❤️ These videos might also be helpful for your situation: ruclips.net/video/EFzjPYsm_Pk/видео.html, ruclips.net/user/live_iPJxM7VwQo?feature=share, ruclips.net/user/livelB_L7zPBjtU?feature=share, ruclips.net/video/IADc64qhmJs/видео.html and ruclips.net/video/4SBxUGRBFfI/видео.html.
Helena is the angel/goddess (here to guide our hearts) and Jack is the guru/philosopher (here to guide our minds). Both are here to guide our souls.
PS: I'm not religious. ;)
Wow what an amazing compliment, thank you so much! ❤️
@@HelenaHartCoaching you also guide our minds... but help women stay grounded in hearts. I was 100% in masculine energy til you helped me discover power of feminine energy. I only "heard you out" because you're intelligent.
I’m happy to hear that, Nicole! 💖
You both discuss such seriously DEEP inner work, but when you’re both together in a video it blows my mind!!! 🤩 this is my favorite video yet 💞 it really hit home with me when Jack said the right guy doesn’t become the wrong guy because you’re taking it a little slow 💓
Agreed. I also love how Jack compared us to rats and told us to go do drugs. 🤣 (And he's 100% right.)
So happy to hear that Courtney, I’m glad you enjoyed this one! ❤️
I swear this video is right on time!! 💯🙌🏾🙏🏾❤
I’m glad this came at the right time for you! 💜
SAME.
Journeys & Journals I agree !
Get a book called Attached. This book along with these videos have helped me very much.
Thanks for sharing! 💞
Wow, this was the missing piece of the puzzle! It makes perfect sense now why I’ve been in that kind of relationship and how the self love was how I overcame it. I was available for everyone but me! And yes I got bored with that relationship once I was healing too!
I’m glad this resonated with you Jeannie, thanks for sharing your experience here! I know SO many women can relate. ❤️
This is such great content!! I've often thought of my patterns as addictions if a sort, but have never heard of them as 'manic depression in a relationship' before. Whoa.
Also, I like that Helena pointed out that we may not magically stop attracting these sort of unavailable men, but we can choose not to engage. This is where the all-important patience comes in though. If you're like me, you don't know these guts are unavailable immediately. The guys in my past didn't reveal themselves to be that way at first. If I'd simply gotten to know them slowly and waited before investing myself emotionally into them, I'd have saved myself lots of time, effort and pain.
Thanks for this! 💜
You’re welcome, Nicole! ❤️ The most recent video I recorded with Jack should also be helpful: ruclips.net/video/EFzjPYsm_Pk/видео.html
Thank you Helena, your video has come in perfect timing. I’m currently battling with my heart and my head over someone who’s been exactly the same to me. Every time I walk away he pulls me back, he does not want commitments, but he does not want me to go find better. My heart and my head are invested in him, I’m trying to be strong and walk away, but I just don’t know how.
Having listened to your video, there’s some great advice which I will put into practice, and hopefully, soon I will be completely free of this emotional attachment.
We’re fighting everyday, and yesterday, finally I thought we’d turn a corner, but today, he’s gone back to ignoring me and blowing cold!!!
My emotions can’t take much more.
I really appreciate all the points in this video. Onwards and upwards.
Thank you so much. Much love 💖💜
You’re welcome Lilia, I’m so glad this came at the right time for you! The livestream Jack and I did last week should also be really helpful: ruclips.net/video/CuWhh-DnLJY/видео.html
Helena Hart Thank you. I’ll be sure to check it out. Thanks 😊
I had a LTR with a man who was one and I thought he would change or I could change him and he didn't and it was like talking to a brick wall.
Yes, it’s so important to not blame yourself for someone who was never going to change. ❤️
LTR ?
Yeah the key is to find someone who's available
Yes, absolutely! 💗
😄🙏🏻 so simple
And who actually WANTS a relationship, which is so hard to find with men.
@@cozettem8226 exactly my point. It's so hard nowadays
Or just be available to yourself! No let-down there
I truly enjoyed everything discussed in this video. Jack dropped so many nuggets of wisdom it really opened my eyes to how I've been living. I'm one of those people who is constantly available for other people but never quite showed up for myself. And I realised it stemmed from my need to be loved and appreciated. I'm learning to become my best friend now. It's so empowering when you know that there's always someone in your corner: you.
Thank you very much for this video, Helena and Jack!
You’re welcome, Joyce! Thanks for sharing your experience here, I know SO many women can relate. These videos should be really helpful as well: ruclips.net/video/NNjJCM5Fz0s/видео.html and ruclips.net/video/lB_L7zPBjtU/видео.html.
Wow !!!
You guys made an amazing team on this presentation, Thank you both.
You’re welcome! ❤️ The latest video I recorded with Jack should also be really helpful: ruclips.net/video/EFzjPYsm_Pk/видео.html
Wow what a powerful video, one of the critical points that Jack made in this video is about the study on rats which teal swan used the same example in a video, on Rats, but this is absolutely clear how dangerous unhealthy and toxic this type of behavior is, how dysfunctional it is truly a massive turn off!
I’m glad you enjoyed this Lisa, thanks for watching! 💗
Love Helena's guests in these videos. She asks the right questions too. Loving the content!
Thank you, I’m happy to hear that! 💗
Wow! Helena just smacked me with something I need to think about...if he and I mirror each other so much...and he is emotionally available unavailable person...maybe that mirrors something about ME. Jack saying that I'm available and empathetic and helping spirit, wanting to help and heal others...but neglecting myself...🤦😢 So true! I would do anything for those I love...but if it is me...I'm not that important to myself. I need to heal this about myself. I am in the "death throes" of feeling confident about not accepting less than I deserve, and then feeling low because I feel badly and doubt myself and my boundaries...thinking perhaps I am being too walled off or too picky. I need the reinforcement that I'm needing to stay in my power and not cave. I stay busy to distract myself because otherwise these people who are not available become THE distraction from working on my goals and my dreams...it's like I sabotage things with myself and my "rocks on the ground" for "the castles in the sky". Maybe I just need to stay single and focus on my own goals and objectives. That is the only thing that is attainable right now and within my control. What I do and feel are the only things that serve me right now. If I'm doing those things...perhaps the right person will be attracted when I'm not looking and trying so hard to make something happen...not investing so much time into something that is a great big nothing burger. If he is attracted he will make the effort and when he does, I shouldn't be so available all the time. I need to value my time more and not give so much.
I’m glad this resonated with you Resa, thanks for sharing your experience here! 💜
Thank you! I really needed this advice today. I expected, probably like others who may have found this video, that it was going to be more about getting a guy to stop breadcrumbing- when really it is YOU realizing if he’s doing that, he’s not going to change or be the one. Seems so simple but this video really sort of blew my mind! Thanks again 💕
You’re welcome Carolyn, I’m so glad this was helpful for you! 💜
I just walked away after watching this...thank you for confirming what my spirit knew
You’re welcome! The latest video I recorded with Jack should also be really helpful: ruclips.net/video/EFzjPYsm_Pk/видео.html
WOW!! After years of therapy (and very recently finding out that i take care of everybody but they never take care of me and changing all of my relationships), what he said that if we are overly available for people (and his examples - by always being there for friends etc), we attract the opposite as a way to balance us. Mind blowing 🤯
I’m glad that resonated with you! I know MANY women can relate. These videos might be helpful: ruclips.net/video/NNjJCM5Fz0s/видео.html, ruclips.net/video/lB_L7zPBjtU/видео.html and ruclips.net/video/_InBosoccQ4/видео.html.
Same girl! My mother was selfish with her feelings and so was my Dad. She would withdraw her love when she felt jealousy or envy towards me. As an adult, I walked around dimming my light so that nobody would dis-love me.. and it got me nowhere. We’re all learning ♥️… I guess allowing those who truly love us a chance to connect with us is important.
Yes I'm empathic, and it can be overwhelming and draining....I always have to remind myself to take time for ME.
Absolutely, this video might be helpful: ruclips.net/video/NNjJCM5Fz0s/видео.html
@@HelenaHartCoaching Thank you!
You’re welcome! 💜
Such an informative video! It really helped things click for me, thank you!
You’re welcome! 💗 These videos I recorded with Jack might also be helpful: ruclips.net/video/EFzjPYsm_Pk/видео.htmlsi=owEAhGVTxgE3WN3u, ruclips.net/user/livegQNmkJHeNxo?si=ZIjDCxtHB5OL9taS and ruclips.net/user/live_iPJxM7VwQo?si=a5eePdgxv71Q8yVU.
This is so enlightening! I need to practise self love more. Thank you for that!
You’re welcome! I share a VERY powerful self-love exercise in this video (I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences with it if you check it out!): ruclips.net/video/NNjJCM5Fz0s/видео.html
Very Relevant content. Thank you for sharing this video.
You’re welcome! 💝
I love the reminder …”He’s what? Not your guy!”😊
I’m glad that resonated with you! 💞 This video I recorded with Jack might also be helpful: ruclips.net/video/EFzjPYsm_Pk/видео.html
Thank you Helena💙 I just saw Jack's video last night and now he's here. You both are awesome. Always insightful. I realized I always overly care about the others' without seeing my own needs first because idk I always have a feeling like the world needs me and I'm abandoning myself all this time. But true, the more we care about ourselves, the less the unavailable guys attractive to us. I'm glad that I work on myself now. So grateful we have people like you and Jack who always inspire us💕
You’re welcome, I’m glad this resonated with you! I love what you said here, thanks for sharing. ❤️
It’s intermittent reinforcement, its the strongest kind of reinforcement, Because you have to keep trying the behavior to get the result. You keep doing it thinking it will eventually pay off
Yes - thanks for sharing, Stephanie! This video I recorded with Jack should also be helpful for anyone who’s in a situation like that: ruclips.net/video/EFzjPYsm_Pk/видео.html
@@HelenaHartCoaching 😄 you said that in the video after I wrote that! Behavior analyst here, I was excited to hear you talking about it.
Yes, that’s actually what I did before I got into this work! 💞
Love it! When you have a bread crumber, drop him immediately! It doesn't create a loaf! 🍞 I started doing this exact thing this week.lol It's easy as you don't accumulate the feelings & therefore are less hurt. You are all gems, so wait for that man that deserves your love. ❤
Thanks for sharing your experience here, Lorraine! I’m glad you enjoyed the video. ❤️
Loveeeeeeeeeeeer Jake’s approach!!! Such a phenomenal guy! Thanks for having him Helena♥️
You’re welcome! Yes, Jack gives great advice! This livestream I did with him should also be helpful if you haven’t seen it yet: ruclips.net/video/CuWhh-DnLJY/видео.html
I'd love to reclaim my power!! I feel like when I don't hear from them for more than a day or so, that triggers my own "abandonment" or "unworthiness" feelings, so I won't accept that from someone else. I'm happy to have that one boundary. There is one man that is completely unavailable, doesn't want a relationship, but is very consistent with communication and to cut him off or stop talking to him makes me feel terrible and sad so I keep him around for whatever reason, knowing that it will never turn into an actual relationship! What's up with that?!?!
Thanks for sharing your experience here, Heidi - I know many women can relate. These videos might be helpful: ruclips.net/video/lB_L7zPBjtU/видео.html, ruclips.net/video/IADc64qhmJs/видео.html and ruclips.net/video/4SBxUGRBFfI/видео.html.
This was more helpful than you know...thank you both so much.
You’re welcome Adele, I’m so glad this was helpful! ❤️
This video and the advice is brilliant ! I really needed to hear this right at this moment ! Thank you both ! Safe well wishes to you both ! 🙂❤
Breadcrumbs are never gonna make a loaf. Love that ! And don't let your inner critic in the backdoor ! Soo true ! Amazing ! 👏
You’re welcome Nicole, I’m glad this was helpful! 💙
Very timely messages. I’m adding this to my self love routine. New sub ✨
I’m so glad this was helpful for you! 💕
OMG this is so good. Learned a lot. Epiphany moment. So thankful for your work!
You’re welcome! 💗 The latest video I recorded with Jack should also be helpful: ruclips.net/video/EFzjPYsm_Pk/видео.html
Helen and Jack 🙌🏽 ‘less haste, more speed’ ☺️🙏🏽
Yes, I really liked that too! 💞
WOW yes i think i need to be more available to myself! I do so much for others and am so reliable...
Thanks for sharing your experience here, I know many women can relate (myself included!). This video might be helpful: ruclips.net/video/NNjJCM5Fz0s/видео.html
Amazing ! This has always been my story but not anymore ! Fantastic advice and tips ❤️
Thank you, I’m happy to hear that! 💕
Thank you, Helena and Jack! Another incredibly insightful video!
You’re welcome, Heather! 💝
Thank you. I'm really sick of being rushed into meeting men who want to push my boundaries. It makes me afraid and I don't really feel like rushing into sex either.
You’re welcome, Debbie! 🧡
Very informative, valuable information. Thank you sooo much!!
You’re welcome, I’m glad this was helpful! 💗
Excellent video! I was blown away by the way that things were said in this video 😍
Thanks Ashley, I’m happy to hear that! 💗
I resonate with this topic. I am not really a woman who is settling with an unavailable man.. if only he did not deceived me telling everyone hes single including his best friend who is also my friend. This has something to do with my inner childhood wounds, trauma bond and gaslighting issues. It was an attraction that made me feel that he has an energy like my father's. Looking at it in a positive way, he sparked my awakening about the need to heal my inner childhood wounds. I was hurt by this toxic relationship but it made me learn about my imprinted buried childhood narrative during my childhood by my narcissistic parents. Now i am beginning to heal all those wounds with the help of psychotherapists avalable here on youtube. My favorites are Dr. Ross Rosenberg, Liza Romano, Dr. Ramani Durvasula, Dr. Les Carter, Stephanie Lyn Coaching, Lee Nieves Coaching, the royale we channel, Assc Direct channel, Rc Blakes Jr., Narc ology Unscripted, Dr. Linda Marthinez-Lewis, Melanie Tonia Evans etc. All of them have helped me discover about narcissism/ narcissistic personality disorder, how to deal with them, how to breakaway, how to heal after the separation. What is codependency, how to heal from it, how heal from trauma bond, how to heal from gaslighting, How to heal from SLDD(or codependency) and learn to love myself again and regain my power back. I have healed myself from SLDD. It took a sociopath to make me discover my inner childhood wounds and how to heal from them. I dont condemn my fantasy DM instead i thank him for coming into my life to teach me whats lacking in me. With the help of God, i will eventually forget him and the feelings of mistaken love i have for him...I knew he was also a wounded soul and i pray he will also find the inner childhood wounds within himself and find psychotherapists and God to heal himself! Thank you so much for your efforts to help us here on youtube.
You’re welcome, I’m so glad this resonated with you! Thanks for sharing your experience here, I know many women can relate. ❤️
Thank you, Helena! This is exactly what I need to hear.
You’re welcome, Rachel! 💜
Thank You for this video . I definitely needed to here this .
You’re welcome, Sindy! 💝
Really enjoy watching your video's, Jack & Helena! You are both great!
Thank you Denise, I’m glad you enjoy them! 💝
So helpful
These videos I recorded with Jack might also be helpful: ruclips.net/video/EFzjPYsm_Pk/видео.htmlsi=63eVXfez37NITrlA, ruclips.net/user/livegQNmkJHeNxo?si=R15RFRuWvI_I_0Fp and ruclips.net/user/live_iPJxM7VwQo?si=urJwy2zyZbXiDKHz.
Amazing 🌟 TY 🌹🌟✨
You’re welcome, Marilyn! 💕
This was so helpfull, I m so attracted to a man but I feel his energy is not consistent and I don't know what to do as I haven't feel so attracted to a man gor a while and if to ask him what is available for as I feel more lows and high.... Thank you so much for this video, it opened my eyes
You’re welcome, I’m glad this was helpful! 💜
Thank you soooo very much for this. Regards from Venezuela.
You’re welcome, Karina! 💕
I love Jacks advice!
Yes, Jack gives great advice! Here are a few more livestreams I’ve done with him if you’d like to check them out: ruclips.net/video/CuWhh-DnLJY/видео.html, ruclips.net/video/HRvJEJ6ygE8/видео.html and ruclips.net/video/Nw1smRqzd6E/видео.html.
Even at 40yrs & going back at again after a 10yr relationship and been focusing on myself last 2yrs..I still get breadcrumbs at times?? Think I'm just too nice at times. I've had enough 😅. If someone doesn't value my time, no thanks...next please ☝😁.
Thank you for sharing this 💜
You’re welcome, Corrina! Thanks for sharing your experience here, I know many women can relate. This video might also be helpful: ruclips.net/video/ZlXm4QynpFM/видео.html
Lol even during this time .. we cant go out which is fine .. but he's always busy and tells me to be patient lol and I only see him once a week ... I said I'm worth more ... Not asking for alot ... Lol never fails ...I give to much
Thanks for sharing your experience here, I know this is something many women can relate to. ❤️
Very powerful Jack thank you!!!!❤️
I’m glad this was helpful! 🧡
So much wisdom here, thank you
You’re welcome, Lana! 💜
Great video!
Thank you, Deriene! 💝
Thanks. Just ended it w a breadcrumber .. missing him but I'm not happy either way.....thanks..... timely video....I know when a man is persuing me, he's definitely not 😐
You’re welcome Jan, I’m glad you were able to take a stand for what you truly want and deserve. ❤️
It is great video thank you exactly what I need to hear
You’re welcome, Carolina! 💕
Soooo on point 👌🙌 thank youuu ❤
You’re welcome! 💞
I'm curious how old are you Helena, you look veeeryyy young but your wisdom is like from my grandmother! :o :p
Oh you’re so sweet, thank you Magdalena! I’m 37. 😃
@@HelenaHartCoaching shut your mouth!! you are not 37...I think you meant to say 27!
Haha you’re so sweet too! 😊
She looks mid 20s... That's amazing! 🤯
@@HelenaHartCoaching Wow! Can we get your skincare routine? That will also help us to attract men lol
But what if you've had that conversation, agreed to not see anyone else, but then you stumble upon without snooping may I add, that he may be talking to another woman and is distancing from you a bit..but still hearing from him every day.
I really like the collaboration 💖
Thank you! 💞
Great video
Thank you, Carrie! 💙
Fantastic perspective that makes complete sense 🙏🏻🌈❤️💯🎯
I’m glad this resonated with you! 💗
A beautiful and practical video. This will help me so much. Thank you ❤
You’re welcome Lizzy, I’m so glad this was helpful! 💗
This really happens often, like not so often but yeah I do get attracted and also attract gradually emotionally unavailable men, but at times also end up attracting cheesy, too available or depressed or desperate souls as well! Lol is there a problem with me? Like in the first case I do understand that I had a problem with self love but what about the latter situation? I myself end up getting like not at all getting attracted to such desperate beings. Please guide!🙈🙈😂😂
But i din't get how U can tell if he us unavailable cos they hide it.till later
peta williams I think that in itself is the indicator.
Absolutely loved it 🙌🏼❤️🙏🏼
Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it! 💕
@@HelenaHartCoaching I always enjoy your ...lessons🤗💕. I feel happy for you... Congratulations for your engagement 🙏🏼💕
@@lovexszi Thank you so much! ❤️
@@HelenaHartCoaching welcome😘
Ohmygosh, soo interesting!!!!
Thanks Katie! 💕
Thank You 😊
You’re welcome! 💜
A void is also programming from family.
Question!!!! what about the more like available unavailable type.... who's open with you... had been there for you... deep talks true connection, invests in you, talks about loving you but not sure hes ready for a relationship .... wth... we are so similar and have all the signs of being in a loving relationship ... we adore each other and not in a fantasy ... not like I've experienced before....I'm heart broken
He's essentially still a time waster.
Hi Cristiana, this livestream Jack and I did a couple days ago should be helpful for you: ruclips.net/video/CuWhh-DnLJY/видео.html
Woow 💕 this man is a genius
Yes, Jack is awesome! Here’s our latest livestream we did together if you haven’t seen it yet: ruclips.net/video/CuWhh-DnLJY/видео.html
Yup I no longer do bread, string, ghosts or zombies 😁😁
I’m happy to hear that! 💕
What a nice guy. Yay for you Helena. He seems so kind. Which dating site did you meet on? Best Wishes.
Thanks Kathy! I met my man on Bumble. 💞
@@HelenaHartCoaching hi! Any videos on online dating tips? I did bumble and it was awful over the years tbh. I’ve had friends have success but my experience was men were shuffling so many women they never knew when to stop and give someone a chance they click with. They never stop window shopping
Phenomenal!
Thanks Rachael! 💗
Perfect advise 👍cos theres no such thing as my type. Thats illusion
I’m glad this resonated with you! 💞
Jack is the voice in my head "he's not your guy" 🤷♂️
Love it, Jennifer! 💙
I have been feeling anxious with this guy who talks to me when he feels like it.We went on 2 dates and we really liked each other but he hasn't been been consistent with me.He told me his work is more important .I am walking away,thank you
You’re welcome! 💜 I talked more about that kind of man and dynamic in this video: ruclips.net/video/dLj3_tqtCmo/видео.htmlsi=shu9I8FLoleSnZNc
New sub❤️❤️❤️
Welcome, so happy to have you here! 💕
Great 💕
Thanks Lynda! 💕
What about the guys that only want to text or make you feel like you are constantly interviewing and not asking questions back? Are those worth trying to get to know in person more or are their texting styles a good indicator on their level of interest??
Great question! I wouldn’t try to “get to know” a man over text messages. If he’s not making any moves to meet up in person (especially if you’ve expressed interest in that), I would move on. 💕
For me it's not that the guy is unavailable from that start. My problem is I develop a bond and fall in love with somebody who is consistently available for years at first. Once I am in love, I allow myself to trust them and their words. Then, after years of being attached to that person and seeing it as mutual thing, they spontaneously and slowly start to withdraw and pull away while assuring me that nothing changed and they still love me. And since I already trust them, I trust that they're just too busy for awhile Then, years later I realize that I feel so drained and in so much pain from missing and missing and missing someone who doesn't miss me back and then I have to stop and ask myself "How did I even get here? I don't like and don't want one-sided relationships but I find myself in them." What I learned for future is this. No matter how good a relationship is, as soon as something starts to change, it is a very good strategy to close my ears. Listening not to words but to actions helps to stay sober and clear-headed. So, when something doesn't feel right - that's when it's time to close my ears, ignore what they say and start to pay attention ONLY to actions. I have to literally shut down my ears and and force myself to start doubting their words. It is so hard to do because when you love someone, you want to take their words seriously and trust them. You just don't doubt someone you love! However, if I jot down all their actions or inactions in my calendar/diary and look and analyze them instead of just listening to what they say, I can notice the discrepancy much earlier!
For example, if they become less available or slightly less friendly for 2 weeks - I write this down in my notes..Then they withdraw slightly more over the next 3 months - I write this down again. Then, when I try to discuss that change with them - they deny it and say "I love you so much and you mean everything to me and I just have more work lately". They're still available and friendly, but not as much. Then the pattern repeats, only this time they're more forgetful and not so friendly anymore: not hostile but neither friendly - their attitude is more neutral/passive.I write this down again and then I can notice their words didn't change a bit - they're replaying the same old narrative over and over "I love you so much and you mean everything to me but I just have so much to go through at work/family/co-workers/whatever...." - but their actions already deviated from their narrative way too much - I can see it now because I have been writing down all the changes!
If you write down all the changes in their behavior - you will clearly see much sooner that your partner is not honest: he's either gaslighting you and denying the change in him or lying about his true intentions.But if you didn't write this down - you would forget what you noticed in the beginning and then you'd think that you must have misunderstood something. By writing down all the patterns that you go through in your relationship you allow yourself to see through everything clearly because it's on paper - black-on-white written record of what has happened without any confusion. And this is how you can help yourself to get out of this toxic rut.
Thanks for sharing your experience and insights here! 💞
The breadcrumbing continued but when he knows I like him he ignores me. Why do they ignore because they don’t really like you. ?
Personally I would stay very far away from a man who does that. That being said, this video might help answer your question: ruclips.net/video/DvjgwlcjO3E/видео.html
I can totally relate my ex was that drop off type, interested into other women while I was with him and all he wanted was sex I told him that I wasn't interested and ready, but of course my parents wanted me to marry him even though I was trying to get out of the relationship completely
I really dunno if I should reach out to my ex boyfriend after a no contact.. its his birthday next month! I did send him flowers after we broke up in September.. there has been no contact from his side & he has been very firm of his discission that we are not meant to be .. some insight can be helpful
This video should be helpful if you’re in “no contact” right now: ruclips.net/video/EFjOGdW_c60/видео.html
So deep and true thank you!!! 🙏🏼🥰
You’re welcome, Nicole! 💙
I haven't found a guy yet who makes a woman a priority, unless it's his mom or daughter. 🤷😑
I have a guy friend that makes me a priority.
You don't want a man who puts you above his daughter.
I wish I could talk to that guy ❤️
So I have a friend who has liked me for 4 years. I finally decide to give him a chance and once we start trying to communicate he only texts. I have told him twice I prefer to talk on the phone like we usually do however no change in his behavior. We have hung out twice and the feelings are there. The conversations are open and in depth. Yet he only texts me. Also every once in a while I won’t hear from for a day or 2. So yesterday he text after being distant and absent for 2 days but I ignored him. Should I only respond if he ever calls or, the next time he text should I respond ?
Shyann Hooper,I been these situations before I know it's frustrating.My advice is that next time you see him in person let him know you really like it when someone calls you rather then just texts because you want to hear the person's voice and have a real conversation.See if that does the trick.
I think it's acceptable for someone to not make contact for a day or even a few days.Often people get cought up in their own lives and before you know it it's days have gone by.Maybe he has nothing new to really talk about so he reaches out when he does,could be a multitude of reasons I wouldn't take it personal.Also it's not a good idea to play games like in this instance he texts you don't reply.He might take that as a rejection and loose interest. Just tell him honestly how you feel and ask for what you want
Hope this helps 🙏
Also if he's not your boyfriend yet he's not doing anything wrong.
In my personal experience it's best to keep expectations low in the beginning as well
What is breadcrumbing, exactly?
It’s basically when someone does just enough to keep you “there” but not enough to truly make you feel happy and secure in the relationship. This video explains it in detail: ruclips.net/video/lB_L7zPBjtU/видео.html
Helena Harwood Wow thank you for replying! I will check out the link!