Man Humbles Room Full Of Women | Reacting To Matthew Hussey
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- Опубликовано: 9 сен 2024
- In this video, I react to a video by Matthew Hussey, "Who Pays On A First Date?" and give my perspective on the topic. Let me know what you think in the comments below and get a conversation going!
Original Video: • Who Pays on a First Da...
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I had this discussion with a female friend once when she was saying that the man should always pay because it's the traditional thing to do. I simply asked her if she was a traditional woman. She said she didn't understand. I asked her if she was a virgin when she started dating her boyfriend, she said no. I asked her if she cooks dinner for her boyfriend every night, she said no. I asked her if once they got married and had children if she was planning on becoming a housewife and would stay home to run the house and raise the kids, she said no.
I then simply asked her that if she has no intention of being a traditional woman, why should she expect her man to be or feel entitled to a traditional man?
There's no argument against that
And what was her response to that?
@@justinchristoph3725 Believe it or not, she seems to be one of the few modern women with functional critical thinking skills and she essentially responded with "Crap, you're right."
You're stupidly wrong and redirecting the point to look good . Man should pay the first date. Simple as that. You're bringing up tradition has nothing to do with it. Because men asks out, not the women. If women asked out on me (which happened but I rejected them kindly) it would be up to women to pay. You're bringing OUT THE DATE THEN YOU SHOULD PAY.
YOU ARE THE REASN WHY DATE IS HAPPENING IDIOT.
After it's a relatonship etc. then it makes sense.
If a modern woman said that entitled crap to me I'd flip the script and call her a chauvinist pig.
I was in a 3-year relationship I always paid and took her on trips, and in the end, she was like I didn't do enough.
I'll bet you won't let that happen again for 3 years.
Thats why I have a horse, best friend, NO problems at all. 👍 Greetings from Denmark.
What was her enough? 9/10 she didn’t even know what it was. It wasn’t you, sadly
She bolongs to the streets
Yea, and if she met a new guy she really likes, and he set up a solid line from the beginning that she has to pay for her half... She will...
I couldn’t agree more. Effort is one of the most attractive things someone can display when dating. Entitlement is probably the biggest turn off
Well Said!
what effort do women do?
Good point … I’m going to steal that saying
and a nice smile
@Sean Irick You call that effort?
I almost brought my dad to tears when I said that he is doing enough, he works all day and comes home to a house that he feels obligated to clean every day. I told him that he was raised that way and that its ok if you are burned out and can’t do that little extra bit. My father doesn’t cry unless something gently touches his heart and I hope he remembers that I know and appreciate how much he does for me
Courtney, it is refreshing to see a young woman with your poise and outlook on life. As a man who's been married for 40 years, I can tell you that a relationship needs 2 people that "want" to do something for the other one. When my wife and I were dating, sometimes I'd take her to dinner when I could afford it and other times she cooked for me. It was all about trying to make each other feel loved and special no matter what we did. Neither one of us ever had much and we never expected anything from each other.
shes not refreshing because shes still keeping up the notion that a man should still pay on the first date, only shes just wrapping it up with a bow to make it seem nicer and like she gets it, when she still does not. We dont want women to just offer, we want you to pay as well. Women make alot of money today, theres literally no reason why they cant.
@@777sn2 Comments are for expressing one's opinions which you and I both did. I'm sorry you don't agree with mine, but I respect yours and hope you respect mine. I hope you have better experiences in the future. I didn't have any issues like this in dating because I was fortunate to get the right woman the first time.
I am quite traditional so maybe the first 3 or 4 dates I paid for everything, my girlfriend always offered to pay. When you meet and get to know someone you should be able to gauge roughly what they are like and their values. So to continually pay for them and not get the hint that they dont want to contribute is silly. If you are a man chasing a woman "out of your league" and paying for them without realising that they are using you then that is just stupid. What the woman is doing is low, obviously. Just seems there is a deep lack of basic reasoning skills from both men and women these days when it comes to dating.
@@777sn2 100% it's dressed up feminist bullshit
The way it should be sir....nice !
This guy was on point. There is a difference between men being chivalrous and being used. Like he said, it is not about the lack of money, but the lack of gesture. Back in the day, I was taught I should always pay for everything when dating. However, these days women are working full time too, yet hold on to their belief that men should pay for everything always. Women want men's equality like they are picking from a guys life like it's a buffet. Women: "Same amount an hour, we'll take that, pay for the dinner fnck that, you can keep that".
I've yet to see women actively choosing a guy on their income level or lower with a pay ratio about 50/50 , 60/40.
@@xantonify Seen? Or experienced? BIG BIG Difference.
@@Mr._Tony Are you working?
@@marc416: Ya
@Jean juju: No he don’t mind paying for the dinner, but dislike that it is being taken for granted. “Foodie calls” are sadly a very real thing.
Matthew said it perfectly, my boyfriend had told me about the countless of times where the girl would never say thank you for a paid date and how they were never satisfied, and those tend to be the same girls that complain about being single or having an unhappy relationship and end up settling 🤦🏽♀️
It's all about ideology.
For women who has self-respect would never take favour from any stranger, and at the same time they will expect their partner to have similar attitude too.
But there are women, for whom it's totally normal to have bi**h mentality, and there are few rich men who need them... when wealth is the only thing they can offer.
And the ideology is not anyone's own choice, it comes from how individuals are raised.
PROTECTION these days is all about MONEY MONEY MONEY. Money cannot always buy you protection and LEADERSHIP HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MONEY.
Just like how much entitled are woman that stupid thank you is too much?
What kills me is "They" feel like they are settling. Like what the hell is the guy getting out of this? What are we just supposed to be slaves for women? Yeah I'll pass on that!
Puuuhhh, that's exactly the world we live in! Recently, about 10 days ago I was in the elevator and the feminazi in the elevator said (after she held the elevator door open for me), "You don't even say thank you to me?" I didn't respond. That's how a man and a boy must treat such "women". They are entitled, "Oh, look, I'm a woman" While I know "No, you are NOT!"
Such "women" expect you also to say thank you after you had sex with them. I warn all men and boys from such "women". Run! when a woman behaves like this! It's timer to reclaim our power! I already reclaimed a tiny part of my power and now! it's your turn!
Stop doing everything that Hollywood and feminazis tell you to do!
-Paying on the first date
-Kneeing down when you ask a woman or a girl if she wants to marry you
-Being nice all the time
-Hiding your serious side
That's just a short list, I'm not gonna give you the long list now.
I know, you now think "But Jasmin, if I stop doing those things women and girls will reject me and stop liking me and start hating me"
No, no, femianzis will start hating you even more, but women (not all) and some girls will start liking and appreciating you.
I'm constantly serious around women and when I talk with them and some of them still like me and also some girls.
Men, now go out into the world and make me proud!
"Don't invest in someone based on how much you like
them, invest in them based on how much they invest in you."
-Mattew Hussey
What is a moderate investment in the beginning to see what their investment would be?
@@marc416 that is a bullshit quote never invest in a woman un til she shows and demonstartes that she will submit to you.
Thats why investing in Bitcoin is very hard, it doesnt invest in you
If both parties are waiting to see how much the other invests, then it’s over before it got started.
(Edited to add): I think investing in an hour long conversation, asking the right questions, can clue you in to how much more to invest, if at all.
@@TMA2NC Yeah it is in itsself a paradox. If you invest based on how much they invest, and they do the same, nobody invests.
A woman and I were planning our first date. I asked her to think of what she'd like to do. The next day we talked and ironed out the details. In doing so, she asked me "do you have expendable income?". This absolutely floored me! I was never treated with this level of honor and respect, not once! I posed the question back to her. After dinner we split the expenses. We didn't talk about it, we just did it. At that point, I thanked her for the respect she had given me the day prior. She's an excellent, honest, reasonable, and respectful woman and I'm very happy that she is in my life in what ever capacity that is and will be. This was my first date and attempt at a relationship in 12 years.
So how did things turn out?!
A girl I was dating with for 2 months never at once offered to pay when we were going out. Granted she was earning minimum wage, but the gesture would have mattered mattered so much. We went out for about 2 months till eventually she ended things.
I eventually met up with another girl I haven’t seen for 9 months at a mutual friends gathering. I’m gonna marry this girl in 2 months. My fiancée has always offered to pay and is very respectful towards both our time. Being appreciative and respectful goes a long way!
Bro isn't it early to get married?
Another fool about to ruin his life lmao.
@@fotis3v480 maybe the girl is actually good but it's early to get married in my opinion he should wait a bit longer
Check back in 2 years.
I think everyone is not understanding this commennt.
Some time after girl #1 was over he met up with girl #2. Who he knew but hadn’t seen in 9 months.
He will marry her in 2 months from comment. But did not specify how long they’ve been together
I asked my mom about this a few years ago...she was clear, she would not let our dad, her first and only husband, pay for expensive dinners/dates. She WORRIED about his finances---she worried about HIM, and showed respect for HIM. My mom was a vivacious, physically beautiful woman, had plenty of choices in guys, but showed my dad that she was interested ONLY in him.
Relationships are very messed up today. To even talk to anyone is hard, let alone being with one. That is human nature though, they always want more. Be happy and grateful for what you have and enjoy life.
Agreed
They have always been messed up. Its just that now its all on social media for everyone to see.
@@CourtneyRyan maybe you could cover and pose the question... Why does it seem that women always want more, like why are they never satisfied?
@@brawdys nah they’re definitely worst today.
That's honestly why I don't chase nor am actively looking for anyone. Just enjoy your life and one day that person will come and be equal in your life. I feel like the moment we go out actively searching we get hurt. I used to be on so many dating sites and I found out quickly how shallow and almost NPC most people are.
I'm with you Courtney. My wife and I have been married for thirty years. She still thanks me for anytime that we go out or even bringing food in. Always. That's why it's been thirty years. Thank you Courtney.
PS. You and T have a lovely weekend🤗
You’ve got a good one 🥰 Thanks Francisco!
It sounds like you and she are soulmates.
Lucky man!!!
And we’ll, lucky woman too ☺️
Wish I was an eligible bachelor 30 years ago. Have lots of older friends with 30, 40, and 50 year successful and happy marriages. Times have changed.
Been married to the same woman for 44 years and she still thanks me for the things I do for her, and there's nothing I wouldn't do for her.
I’m 21, I hope I can get something like this one day. Beautiful
I’ve been unsuccessful with dating and have gone down multiple unhealthy rabbit holes in the Internet that do nothing but discourage me and highlight my insecurities. I can’t tell you how refreshing it feels to hear somebody with a more balanced point of you with dating.
Matthew has been at the top because he never has and will not make content that puts down either gender to pander to the other. He's about rising to the challenge and being a better person before finding a relationship so you attract the best person. Honesty and candor, but also compassionate and understanding. He really is a guru in the space and worth watching
He's definitely among the best YT coaches. No game or infield crap but talking sense.
What is a guru?
@@sachirugu1861 An expert.
@@marcmays48 thanks
@@RoddyPipersCorneas Agreed. And if he wasn't fit and attractive, no one would bother attending any of his events. Let some short, pudgy, bald guy say the same exact things verbatim and he'll be entirely ignore or roasted.
Not sure if the girl realized this, but I had a first date on Tuesday and I paid for our coffee at the coffee shop and then when we went to grab dinner she picked up the tab without hesitation while I went to the bathroom. Dinner was the more expensive bill of the two. Score one for the boys!
That shows a lot of maturity if it was done for the right reasons. Kudos to her.
You found a keeper!!!
Is she still with you?
Sometimes they just pay to even the score!!
@@peterredit9556 They still contributed on the date
She had to be fat 🤣
If a woman keeps making me pay, I would tell her I'm not a bank and break up with her. The worse woman you can date are the ones who always want to be treated like Royalty and do nothing in return for her man.
Is that a SpongeBob quote?
@@marc416 Are you trying to be funny? I don't watch SpongeBob.
That best friend analogy that he used around 6:10 Was spot on actually. That’s how things are on my best friend, sometimes I pay sometimes they pay sometimes we split the bill, but it’s collectively agreed on that we both go back-and-forth it’s not just one person paying for everything.
Courtney, your sence of integrity and passion for fairness is actually breathtaking. Couldn't agree more.
Not all heroes wear capes! Thank you so much, Matthew Hussey! I will definitely use that for my future dates, 👏👏👏👏👏!!!!
The way he laughs when the entire room says MAN is him knowing he's gonna have a job in relationship seminars for a looooooong time.
Since I am probably a little older, 52 years old, than most, and it may be a generational thing but one solid truth in this whole thing is the majority of men don’t care if women don’t pay, it’s the gesture or offering or willingness. It’s the graciousness and gratitude shown when we do something for you. A lot of women simply do not understand that an offer to pay or a thank you is everything no matter how much we paid. Hell, the next day or next time you can plan something as simple as a coffee or a beer at a sports bar and we’d be appreciative, it’s not the money or the amount of money, it’s the thought!
I'm an older guy too and I very much care that a woman can pay her way. Here's why - I am financially independent and semi retired. There's a certain level of lifestyle I want and can afford and I would be looking for a woman that can keep up. It doesn't necessarily have to be 50/50, but I'm not looking for someone that I have to support or subsidize. If she can't afford a car repair or her pet is needing expensive veterinary care, I don't want her to be expecting me to foot the bill. And yes on top of that when she is treating I would like it to be more or less in line with what I offer. You should get what you give.
I'm a woman, was out on a date with a man. I offered to pay my share but he insisted on paying .
So I let him.
Will go back to paying for myself.
Hi, Robert: Thanks for your comment. When I went out the first time someone she paid for ALL the drinks. We had a wonderful date. The next day I spoke to a guy who could not believe that she paid---he told me that he had taken her out several times, and had to pay for everything. THAT is when I knew she liked me :). I can't stress enough, the act of paying is absolutely a sign that you aren't entering into a transactional relationship.
@@wyleecoyotee4252 I appreciate your comment-that's why I'm replying as a guy...if it is a first date and the man initiated it, it's on him to pay (why I don't do dinner on first dates:) ). However, once things get going, the woman's offer to pay is a sign to me that she is attracted to me, and values me as a person, not just as a vehicle for her to use to go places. I will take the woman up on her offer to communicate my intent that our relationship not be "transactional" and equally respectful.
@@pf4773 Thank you for your response. I had a woman I was seeing plan a date at Top Golf and it meant a lot that she took the time to do that since she doesn’t play but I do. We had a blast and she even tried to hit a few balls but it was the effort that mattered. Yes she paid for it but I honestly didn’t care about the money just the fact she planned something she was not ever interested in but knew I was, showed she truly was into me and had the thought for my hobby. Funny thing is she had fun trying and even though she still doesn’t want to play, she has become my personal cart girl and regularly goes to drive the cart and keep our drinks going lol.
Both Matt and Courtney are so incredibly based with this take and the world needs more of it. Thank you.
“Based?”
Nice to hear from someone living in the real world. Sadly, so many young people seem to think that they should be treated like superstars despite the fact that they have not actually achieved anything or earned the respect and privilege.
I previously dated a girl in college and I'd always open the car door for her and from the inside she would unlock my side. I was blown away the first time it happened. I have used that standard ever since...as such I've been single a while.
Yes, really cool girls do this.
old car?
@Andrew Crews bro, it has to do with the gesture. Very thoughtful of her to do that.
@Andrew Crews i see what you mean. I'd open her door the old fashion way...with a key.
@@mmendoza1190 jeezus guys, you tearing this comment to shreds...was not an old car. You guys really missed the point here.
4 things that have gotten me to a place where I have finally managed to form a healthy relationship with another human (Spoiler alert It's only been like 11months since we've started really going out)
1. Firstly, I started taking notes and reflecting on the Interactions I had with women in general. This included my co-worker's classmates and even some relatives.
2. Secondly, I decided to drop my all-goody-goody act and started asking some bold questions. Like If she was single or looking for a date or if I was her type.
3. Thirdly, I monitored my actions and made sure I wasn't going too deep too soon.
4. Lastly, I stopped being a doormat and made my boundaries clear from the start instead of fearing that she gonna leave me if I say something. I taught myself how to properly demand an apology and not come across as a jerk.
Guys, dating ain't easy by any means it never was and probably will only get harder as we age. It takes a lot of time, patience and a ton of work to get into and maintain a proper relationship but all of it is ultimately worth it because you only gotta get it right once!
And about the girl I'm currently with, she is my mom's friend's daughter. We were aware of each other's existence since childhood and used to play as kids but I don't remember seeing her or going to her place after I passed 4th grade. So we were never really friends. Last year I found her on social media and we started talking after a few weeks we decided to meet up. Honestly, I didn't have any idea we'd end up dating. I asked I she wanted to see if we would work together as a couple and she agreed. This has been the best relationship of my life because she doesn't complain about the things I can't control and blame me for everything, she is surprisingly caring and seems genuinely hurt by my past failures, we get along like best friends and I enjoy doing things with her even if I have to do house chores!
Most importantly she taught me how to have a healthy disagreement. Thanks to her I can't say that we've really ever had a fight as adults but as kids, my mom says we used to fight all the time! lol
Thanks for the tips bro.
PS- congratulations on finding someone like that, she sounds awesome.
@@vanshteotia3369 Thanks man💖 she is quite awesome.
@Rick Sin No no! you got the wrong idea.
When I was younger I would never act with confidence or talk about relationship stuff. Even when I went on dates I was too nervous to ask those questions and just talk about trivial things like movies and tv shows and stuff.
I have never dated a coworker or teammate. I think that's just unprofessional.
What I really meant on point 2 is that Now I don't shy away from asking questions when I'm dating someone. Hope you've gotten the point. And good luck out there!
@Rick SinI think that I am not doing a good job explaining my ideas. Sorry about that but I'll try to answer your questions as clearly as I can.
How did I guarantee dates? and How I found women to go out with?
Almost all of my dates were with people I already knew to some extent. Most of them were women from my college or neighbourhood. Some of the dates were
set by mutual friends here having a few close female friends helps a lot.
As for online dating I never bothered with that stuff honestly I didn't have to. And I'm, not the type that dates a lot. All my life I've tried to build relationships over having fun.
If you want to be in a healthy relationship my advice is to first make a few good friends preferably of the opposite gender.
Congratulations and hopefully I find that one person as well
Her question said everything I'd need to know about her: "When does the woman HAVE to pay?"
I have just discovered your channel today, and I thought what you and Matthew Hussey had to say made sense. Its thoughtful, considerate, and proper etiquette behavior to help out what and when you can. I have been with the same man for 31 years, 29 years married. It's a good refresher to hear from a man's point of view on how to treat your partner. Thank you! :) :D
you're a very good women sister ❤️
This is so true and a hot topic for me. I was brought up to pay and I am happy to do it but I hate it when the other partner assumes I am paying. I find it so nice when she tells me I got this one or when they make an effort to pull out the wallet or say I will get the next one. One of my favorite thing is to say I will pay the meal but you get the tip. It makes me feel like they wanted to be with me and not just seeking a free meal.
Courtney just gets it, she isn't pandering or anything like that she's reasonable and rational. We appreciate you speaking what should be common sense. Shoutout to the dude who had the good to marry this girl!
@@tytmy1 You type like you dropped out in third grade. 🤡🤡
Courtney is spot on!
Do not waste time dating anyone who doesn’t invest equally back in you. Investing equally does not mean dollar for dollar, it means connecting on a level that has a deeper emotional and personal connection with each other. People need to wake up and figure this out. The world today is filled up with so many fake fantasy living people, so it’s very hard to find that special someone you can really connect with. With that said, don’t give up. Keep trying!
You are absolutely right about that.. I’m done wasting energy on people who doesn’t want my time.. I did everything I possibly could and be the best version of me to a woman but I get walked on like a rug.. I don’t look for love anymore.. I take care of me and me only.. I’d get a dog before I look for love again..
@@stevo6891: You are so right, the large majority of Western women of today, they don’t care 1% about your time or efforts. I have taken women out on expensive dinners and when almost done with dessert, telling me "Ohh I actually got a boyfriend already :-!"
I had one going on and on, about how great things would be if her playboy ex would just commit to her, instead of banging other girls
@@Mr._Tony I know doesn’t that suck? Had it happen to me it’s like why try anymore.. I’m lost for words when it comes to love.. It’s funny back in high school my crush rejected me for a bad boy.. They got married after high school had kids now he is mean to her and cheats on her all the time.. She tried speaking to me one day in public I just kept walking.. I don’t have anything to say to her.. The way it looks I will be single the rest of my life.. I got my hobbies and enjoy riding my motorcycle across the country.. I’m just done putting in effort and getting spit on in the end.. The dating scene is definitely cruel today.. I think love only exists in fairytales!!
@@stevo6891: Of course it sucks big time and it turns us men away from them. More and more men are now waking up to this reality, and simply leaving women to their own devices. After having failed miserably in finding a decent non-crazy Western woman, I finally turned my focus to South-East Asia, where most are traditional and marriage minded. I married a very sweet virgin girl and here 20 years later we are still happily married, so don’t give up completely, just give up on the Western models
His point about contributing is even true before the first date. I hate it when I message a girl and she gives me single word replies and never takes any initiative in the conversation (this also leads to me beating myself up for not spitting fire game, which I realize may or may not make a difference lol)
When I start to notice that within the first handful of messages, I get so turned off. I stop messaging them then.
If they’re interested, they’ll invest their time. Of they’re not interested in putting forth effort, then they’re not interested, full stop. Stop contact. Put your energy into things that matter and have a return on investment.
@@VictoryAviation Even if they aren’t really interested they should at least be asking questions to get to know more about you
@@omotayosatuyi252 Agree 💯
@@VictoryAviation Thanks I mean I get it there’s going to be people who aren’t interested in you that’s okay but if your talking to a girl and your asking them questions to get to know them better u should at least do the same even if they aren’t interested in u
I once dated a girl who was making a lot less money than i was, and was kind of struggling financially. So it would be kind of expected that i would pay for everything or most things. But she appreciated me and what we had so much that she would spontaneously buy me little gifts regularly even though i told her repeatedly that it wasn't necessary and that she should save her money. I think back on that relationship regularly.
“Who should pay” whoever can. That’s my opinion. I met my husband in high school; we both grew together. There were times I had money and he didn’t and vice versa. He’s taken care of me and literally gave me an allowance when I didn’t have a job…we always take care of each other. That’s what people are missing nowadays.
We often talk about how hard it is for people/couples to GROW together…there’s been a decline of couples who meet at a young age and make it. I believe it’s simply because it’s hard to grow with somebody: it’s EASIER to part ways and work on yourself without having to worry about another person….but to me, it isn’t worth it. I know I want him, everyday, no matter what. And I know he feels the same.
I LOVED the line, "Obviously." and she held up her wedding hand...straight faced, a magical moment.
😂🤍
One of my guy friends said that the woman should at least offer to help so he knows he's not being used for money.
Women know this and are offering just to make you think they really want to help lol. Real ones pay no matter what every other date. Hard to find tho
If the guy enjoyed the date and she doesn't offer to pay, he should just tell her he's willing to go out with her again, but the next date is on her.
She should pay to ensure she isn't just being used for sex
Too many people do not respect the power of sincere gratitude.
It's so easy to give.
Ask anybody who works with youth. Sometimes, it's only that ONE kid who said "thank you" that motivates you to keep going.
Growing up, my mom taught me to be chivalrous and told me I would thank her later for it. I've been yelled at, lectured to, emasculated, etc. over the years and thought my mom actually cursed me rather than blessed me. During my dating life, I dated someone who was 10 years older than me. She not only appreciated it, but she also expected it. Not only that, but she taught me how to finish the job. It wasn't enough to just open the car, you have to make sure the lady is situated, her dress and accessories are inside, and then close the door softly but firmly. There was a time, I was going to give up chivalry completely, but I have since realized that you can't force someone to change and appreciate things, although I have had one successful crossover and she realized what a blessing chivalry really is, but don't change try to change the person, just change who the person is, and don't waste any time doing it. There is a man out there who appreciates her independence. There are three ways we can be...independent, codependent, and interdependent and two of those don't make for a very good relationship. My concern now is that women are fighting for their right to be equal, so the chivalry is going to get harder and harder. Everyone is going to end up going dutch, or alternating payment. You can't ask for completely equality and have other people buy all your stuff. Another thing about chivalry...Don't stop doing it when you are married. Date your spouse, also consider that you are showing your sons how to treat a woman with respect, and you are teaching your daughters how they should expect to be treated.
After 53 years of dealing with women, all I can say is the last 11 years of my life (without women) have been the best of my life LOL
“The world does not revolve around you”
a lot of people need to hear and understand this
A female channel that actually gives decent dating advice for both men and woman. Nice! Keep up the great work! I can only wish more women would watch more of these kind of videos. Men already know these hardships but lack the confidence to speak out about it which is understandable in today's society. You get chastised and labeled wrongly for having standards. Which isn't right imo. But that's the current messed up world we live in.
i completely agree. let's hope things change with a rise in self respect and mutual respect for others.
This is one of the many reasons why I love this channel. Courtney is one of the only girls that calls out the double standards. Men have a laundry list of things that they HAVE to do for women, but a woman does not HAVE to do anything. Men are held accountable for everything, but people need to sit down with women and have the hard conversations
Average looking men have a laundry list... The 5 to 10% of men women are legit sexually attracted to and care about don't... How many more years is it going to take for most men to realize this?
I agree with Courtney but I don’t agree with this. Women also have a lot of things we need to keep up with with guys. Both genders have double standards and it doesn’t make any of it right
@@oppygirly9002 very true. When married, some men expect women to handle all the childcare, housecleaning, and cooking meals PLUS hold a job to pay bills. Both men and women need to sit down and talk about what contributions BOTH of them will be making so no one feels overwhelmed, used, powerless etc. Men are not ATM's and women are not maids.
Yeah, well Arabic women can’t stand most American women for that reason, never mind relationships, western women aren’t always the best of friends either and the way they speak lack wisdom with an abundance of false moral superiority justifying all the wrong choices they make.
@@tiannahly Women are maids from my perspective
This helped me understand why I am feeling angry and frustrated with my current relationship but didn't know how to put it into words until now. Thank you.
End the relation-ship NOW!
My only caveat would be is if she makes an effort in her appearance, and you don't . If she is getting her hair done etc...and you just show up with whatever. IE if she is making an effort in the appearance department and you don't reciprocate...but if that is not true dump her
I grew up when chivalry was very much alive and well but this video is fantastic! How to manage paying in such a way that is common sense redonkolously simple, while respecting each other. I love paying for, caring for the women I’ve dated. This is a very healthy approach to a difficult problem.
So true. If I went on a date and she exhibited the Princess mentality there wouldn't be a second date. I have no problem paying but I don't want it to be routine.
As an “old man,” I feel that this dating element is spot on. In my opinion there is a difference between expectation and entitlement.
i wish more people were as level headed as you. youre awesome. just wish society was this way.
The world definitely needs more ladies such as Ms Courtney Ryan. She definitely is here to help, and show the world that there are still quality, feminine, beautiful ladies who are highly intelligent and can see through toxic feminism identifing the damage it leaves in its wake. Let's show Courtney some respect and appreciation for standing up and speaking out on what us men are seeing, experiencing and adjusting to in current dating trends. I'm sure she has totally said what we are thinking at one time or another, yet not enough women call out the antics of toxic femenist bc the backlash is woke-mob-oriented. She gives hope to us all that there are more like her, who are high value traditional women who don't drink the feminists' Kool-Aid. Thank you Courtney, Keep up the great work.
It is so sad that it’s 2022, while we claimed that we’ve figure out the world, all of this common sense still needed to be explain to society.
“Mrs.” just saying
As always, Matthew's suggestion for a paradigm shift is just spot on. It's truly the attitude to which we approach such things. As a man, I would have simply never offered to pay and just do it. Why? Well it made me happy to do so... but if my date felt bad about it, I'd definitely appreciate that attitude and tell him/her that I feel good paying for this meal that we shared. If you wish to get the next meal, then sure :) As long as we show gratitude to each other. Wonderful video! Thanks @Courtney Ryan
And you clearly missed Matthew's entirely point. We have 2022 and we aren't forced to pay women because they earned the right to work. Patriachy and stereotype comments like yours should be dismissed and have no place in 2022.
@@VelvetCrowe734 well I do believe you have also entirely missed the points from my response. You label it as part of the “patriarchy”. How so? You label it as “stereotype”. Again how so? I’ve clearly stated that it’s all about the attitude to which we approach things (totally quoting Matthew here) so how have I (totally) missed the point? Your clearly biased extreme view about this just shows who truly is the one who “missed the point”. It’s easy to say someone is wrong or “totally missed the point” without giving any form of intellectual reasoning with evidence.
Women have been working since long before my own birth 4 decades ago. All my life, I’ve seen women provide. But this post was NOT about that at all. It was all about how we approach things and stop thinking like in the past, but at the same time, to STOP being so entitled, privileged, whilst not having that victim mentality where “oh men ALLEGEDLY treated my ancestors (not me) like crap so I DESERVE better treatment though I may not even deserve it”.
Women's "work" in old days weren't work because they never got paid in first place. Most women (at least in my own country) hate to be paid by men because they don't like to use us which of course is the logical thing to do. As a feminist man also i would help her cleaning the house and other housework. Because that's how equality truly works. I never pay on first dates because there is always the possibility she can go out with you and get a free meal then ghost you in the very next day.
@@VelvetCrowe734 true on some counts but I guess I just live in a different country. Where I live, women usually hold positions of power outside government. Top insurance agents & ceo all female. Officers in desk jobs with top pay with minimal risk of injury during work majority female. It’s really the other way round here but I don’t see the men complaining. Instead, they are grateful ❤️ which is how anyone should approach any situation these days when there is no oppression.
Courtney, as someone that is getting back into the dating game, I’ve been subscribed to your channel for a few months and I’ve LOVED all your content! I’m so glad you reacted to Matthew’s video because I see my parents ALL over what both of you have to say. They’ve been happily married for 36 years. When they met, my mom walked up to him and struck up a conversation. They are partners and best friends, but they’ve both said that 50/50 is nice, but it is not constant. Sometimes it is 70/30…60/40…70/30…all the combinations. It’s in flux. But what is so important is that they have each other’s back through all of it. What you both have to say about men is spot on. Men want and need to be needed. We want to take care of others. However, we don’t want to be used. Someone that makes us feel needed and appreciated will have us coming back time and time again. Keep up the wonderful content!
You hit the nail on the head with this one . The snotty entitled attitude is why i just quit dating . It’s just easier and happier being alone . No stupid games , no drama .
Nah fam, you just have to spot the bullshit early and call it what it is. Also take a step back and look at the pond where you are fishing (dating apps, clubs, or leading with your money/status, Etc). If you are a quality person you won't have an issue finding someone. Just take your time and have fun along the way.
On the third date she invited me to eat at her house. All we did was sit on her back stoop while she bbq chicken on this tiny little grill she had. We ate one tiny piece while she cooked the next tiny piece. Just meat on a plate. I felt like a a king.
i commend you for handling this delicate subject with grace and tact. as a man, i completely agree with what was said by the speaker, matthew hussey, and yourself. thank you for putting this out with hopes people will actually listen and begin to respect others rather than feeling entitled. as you said, it's a sense of self respect and mutual respect. well done.
I remember yeeeears ago when I picked up this girl in my car to about to go out on a first date. The minute she got in my car she said with a smile and excitement, "Thanks! It's not all the time I get to go out for a free meal." I was stunned and said nothing. I started up the car, drove around the block and stopped in front of her house again. She was like, "Uh, why are we suddenly back in front of my place? I did not forget anything." I said, "Because I want you to get out. I don,t date charity cases hoping to score a free meal." She got out and before she could say anything, I was already speeding off. A FREE meal? Seriously? Cut me a break!
I give total props to you for standing up and supporting the end of this double standard as a woman! You came across completely sincere and hopefully this message will resonate to the viewers to stand up for themselves. And I'm not just referring to the first date paying circumstances. Relationship should never be transactional. And it's about going forward as a team and the entire dating process is to find out if you're compatible as a team to build a life together
I wish we had more Courtney Ryans and singles for every man ! The world would be definitely peaceful, joyful, fulfilling . You are very kind and loveable lady. Sad , that many woman dont appreciate man as a whole thing, not as tools/ resourses. The human ego (and the desire to wanting more) definitely has a blame on not reaching happiness in life for most people. Have a nice day, and thank you for your video. :)
I feel that showing gratitude goes a long way, whether it's the man or the woman. Even if someone isn't financially well off, sending a card or some other gesture that says I really appreciate what you did for me, is a very good thing. I was recently (6 months) widowed, and miss the companionship. I don't want to live the rest of my life alone.
Agreed. Gratitude and thoughtfulness have little to no value to young people today - with most being entitled and self-absorbed. I'm certainly glad I don't date in this day and age.
Finding people with substance who value themselves and others today seems to be like searching for a unicorn's eyelash - they're out there, but they're just exceedingly rare.
I wish you all the best in your search (and sorry for your loss). 🦄
He’s F’kg 100% correct. It isn’t about the money, it’s about the gesture and appreciation. When appreciation becomes expectation it is over!
No one will act more courteous or respectful at any other time than on a first date. So you can predict how someone will act every day in a relationship by how they behave on the first date.
Totally agree! That “princess” mentality that you’re talking about and the double standard that goes with it is the relationship equivalent of nails on a chalkboard! It makes you feel so taken advantage of!
7:03
This doesn’t apply just on dates but when it comes to the initiation process. If I’m carrying all the conversations dropping all the compliments etc. then I feel just as used as going on a date with a girl who acted hella entitled and made me pay for it all.
I dated a girl about nine years ago that was this exact lesson, personified. I paid for the first two dates, as I always have, and no thank you or anything. I couldn’t put my thumb on it, but something was off.
Third date, same thing. She picked the restaurant, usually something expensive, got at least two drinks and a meal. Still nothing. Last date I cut short, when I intentionally got a place with a long wait time, sat down at the bar, she ordered an expensive cocktail, and when our table was called, didn’t even make a move for the check to pay it. I knew she was just there for the freebies. I paid and left, with no goodbye.
She messaged me a few days later to ask why I ditched her - obviously, I worked hard to pay for her taking advantage of me. Long story short - I was very glad I ditched her.
My very next date was my date with my wife of 8 years now.
When I went on a first date with my future husband we shared the expenses. He bought lunch, I bought drinks. It felt great being equal. No judgment, no uneven demands. We did this on a lot of dates. I made more money than he did at the time and I appreciated it every time he paid. He felt the same when I paid. He eventually moved up in his company and made three times my salary. We still share expenses though his share is higher and I share in ways not monetary. Our relationship has always felt perfect. He still treats me like a queen and I treat him like a king. It's all about love and respect. I love how they both explain this.
Several years ago I was out to dinner with a woman I'd been seeing for a couple of months. Up to this point I'd always paid. So the bill comes and she says, "Let me pay this time." I said, "Okay." The next time I saw her I could tell that something was bothering her...I asked, "What's the matter?" Her: "You didn't pay for dinner last week." Me: "Wait, what...you said you wanted to pay." Her: "Yes, but you should have INSISTED that you wanted to paid." Ladies and gentlemen, is it any wonder that men have a hard time figuring out what women want?
Those are the kind you have to kick to the curb.
There are far better women for you than that
Love this analysis! Double standards and a “who has the status quo” mentality have no place in healthy relationships.
I just really want to say thank you to you specifically. You have been apart of the my journey out of my fear of that developed of women through college and post college experiences with them. Before watching you and the roommates I was greatly considering MGTOW sad to say. I love your content though I haven’t found my one yeah im certain I am placing myself in places and situations that will allow me to find her. Thank you again
🥹 I’m so glad! Happy you’re here!
thank god you were pulled away from that cesspool
When my wife and went on our first date, I had asked her out and thus expected to pay. When the tab came, I pulled out my wallet, and she told me "You get the tab, I'll get the tip". Yes, my portion was larger, but was both surprised and pleased at that. We did that for every date. That was 33 years ago. And Dec next year will be 30yrs married to that special lady.
Maybe I’m old school, but I was raised in a home with no father around (much) and a mom and 4 sisters. I open the doors, pull the seat out, pour her a glass of wine and absolutely pay for the date. Sex is not expected, but once you both determine that you like eachother, things balance out. The guy in this video is not the man these women should be listening to. Plus he sounds English, which culturally, things may be different, but in the good ole USA, and the man happens to be from the south, he’s gonna be a gentleman and get the doors, pull the seats and def pay for the meal. JMO…
FINALLY! I'M SO GLAD YOU DID THIS! I LOVE MATTHEW AND YOU! ❤
Courtney finally reacted to Matthew Hussey AND THE EXACT VIDEO I wanted her to react. Heck yeah I know I'll enjoy this video a lot. 🔥🔥
There is probably a culture difference here, but on my first date with my current long term boyfriend, we paid for ourselves... The more we got to know each other and spent more time together, he started to tell me things like, I wanna buy you dinner, the movie is on me etc... I never expected it, always said thank you and treated him to something in return, maybe a cup of coffee or similar...
It doesn't have to be the guy paying, and one party should never feel entitled! Sometimes you split the check, sometimes one of you pays, it doesn't have to be harder than that
What country?
@@ch1bob Sweden
To me a first date should be paid for by whom initiated it , as nothing is now about each other , financial situations are not the other persons business until a second date is arranged
Known
@@craigcourtney4209 I guess that depends on the date, if it’s something more expensive and if it’s like a formal date or more a casual coffe date you both had a little back and forth deciding where to go
I honestly need a women like you. You seem like a smart, kind, self conscious, thoughtful, hardworking women . I agree with everything that has been said on this video.
Courtney: "You can't just be dead weight, being pulled around all the time"...BRAVA!!!...well said madam!!
This has been blowing up a lot lately! Love your perspective on this! This whole idea that it has to be one-sided is all bs! Furthermore, it's a wonder of wonders why so many go into dating SELFISH!!
we will never find another girl like Courtney on this planet, you're a rare breed girl
have you watched Melanie King? very similar
@@Sagefrakrobatik kind of sceptical about her
Joyanima
@@gardengrower7633 she's a bit immature sometimes
@@kc270352 say it's not so.
I really wish more women thought like you do. It's exhausting being the one doing all the heavy lifting (so to speak) and getting no appreciation or even basic acknowledgement. After awhile you start to just feel like a utility, or a means to an end. I've all but quit dating entirely because of how that's just become the accepted standard. It's nice to watch your videos because then at least it shows that not everyone has that sense of entitlement, and that some women are even calling those women out. Thanks Courtney :)
Im a alpha type dude. This guy nailed it. In a nutshell: women want to be adored, men want to be respected.
The best thing a woman can do is offer to pay or contribute what she can....it means so much and shows she cares about you and not just thinking about herself.
Wow that is best thing? It takes zero effort, I can make fake offers all day and it doesn't cost anything.
Courtney hands down I think you give some of the healthiest relationship advice.
True
The man definitely did humble the audience because they got so so quiet
I dated a princess type for a couple of months this year. I paid the bill every date, even the couple times she invited me out when I'd have preferred a night in. And she wasn't frugal about it. I stopped asking her out after we slept together. I'm not proud of myself, I actually feel lousy here and there about it. But I guess it's a happy ending because we both got what we wanted from each other.
Never feel bad about using somebody who was using you
I'm going to guess the sex was mediocre too. The princesses are too wrapped up in themselves to be good in bed.
A girl once ask me out on a date. I said I can’t, because my economy was bad that month. She said it’s okay, since she’s the one asking, she’ll treat. So I went. To my surprise, she later did a whole Tiktok live discussing about me, for not being a gentleman and not paying during a date. I went in the live to defend myself. She quickly kicked me out and banned me, while continuing the live.
this video is right on the money...i dated a woman for over 4 yrs. she was not able to pay for dinner early on in the relationship. we spoke about it and she did feel bad about it...i told her when she get a better job, she could buy dinner or whatever. she never offered to pay for dinner....ever...she always thanked me for whatever we did, movies, plays, dinners. always. when we would go away on a weekend outing, she did pay half, but that was rare. it wasn't the money issue. i did pretty well and didn't have a problem paying. it was 100% feeling used. at least ask. i will always say "never mind i got it" i do that with my friends who are low on cash. the speaker hit the nail on the head...perfect. thank you and keep up the good work..love your videos. P.S. if the pandemic had one saving grace, it was the reason we stopped seeing each other or at least that is the reason i said we should stop seeing each other...she lives in NYC and i live near by in northern NJ...lol
When man create value, and women increase value of what was/is created, the man's time according to the outside world is more valuable. In relationships both parties are valuable. A first date isn't the same as treating your partner/spouse to a night out, then, yes, splurge for the memory
Thank u so much maam...u r doing a great job guiding so many men and women in this misguided society...keep it up 👍
Courtney, thank you for posting. This video was full of wisdom and very insightful in terms of discerning the commitment level of your date. Many of the points were helpful, both from you and Matthew Hussey's clip. Btw, congratulations on your engagement (11:15)! You go girl!
ON POINT! him being in shape, keeps eyes focusing more on him and brains on the subject. lol!!!
"The way people act and respond to things shows what kind of person they are." 💯!
This is hilarious. Women are fighting to have equal rights equal paychecks, equal, equal, equal. But when you gotta pay for something all eyes are on men? Why? If the guy and the girl have equal paychecks why would he need to pay for everything while she gets to save her money?
As an Introvert with also Socal Anxiety/Depression. I recently found your channel. I'm loving it so far. I'm 31 young guy and only have had one female real relationship. I've been listening to each video on my way to work. Any videos you recommend me watching more than others??
I'd suggest talking with an older guy who has more dating and life experience. As one of those older guys, I can tell you we've seen all of this before. It's not new. It's just more out there because of dating apps and social media.
31 is old
@@fashionbeast7089 yeah if your 15 lol
Love your content so much. Nice to see there's like minded people.
I owned my own retail business for years and got to know a lot of single men. When asked about dating, they would all laugh and say; ‘do I look like I’m made out of money?’
I love this very very kind blowing. Double standards does exists. Keep it up Courtney with the awesome vids/content 🙌🏽🙌🏽
I remember watching this video a while back and I was quite annoyed by how the women laughed at most of what Matthew was saying and never seemed to really take it seriously. He was telling the full truth but there's a big part of me that's concerned most if not all of those women left his seminar and learned nothing.
At least we have women like Courtney though 🙂 helps remind me great women are still out there!
They didn't. They were raise with mentality of "you are special, you are a princess, you deserve the best", and is not only society, some men just pay or let them know that is true so to have sex, or worse yet, be a beta in a relationship and be a yes man, that woman will hate you forever.
Ye but great women are usually taken 😢
@@AnotherFancyUser It's sad that it's come to this honestly. Hopefully in the coming years there'll be a bit of a change.
@@socloseagain4298 True most of us recognize a good woman when we see one and snatch them up quickly! But there's still good fish in the sea, we just have to do a more fishing than previous generations! Don't give up my brother 😁
@@lucianoben-malek693 Haha 😁
I do not promote or advocate for getting into relationships or marriage but if people do go these routes I hope you find someone who likes you for who you are and not because of your resources. Good luck to all who seek companionship long-term.
To each their own 🙌🏼
I'm glad this will help the women who have best friends.
If it's a job, you exchange your time and talents for money, it's really what the definition of what a job is.
One of my biggest pet peeves...I always go into a date fully expecting to pay and have no problem with that. But when a woman doesn't at least offer or say thanks, it completely sullies my interest
Yeah, same. It just shows me she feels entitled and wasn't raised right.
Women know this and offer with intention to do so.
My favorite loose rule at that point in dating is whoever comes up with the date pays. You're paying for the other person to come with you, basically. Also makes it easy to commit to things you may not be super interested in doing. You suggest getting ice cream? You pay. They suggest going to a museum? They pay. It ends up being even and there's a "my turn" attitude with both paying AND planning good dates.