So proud of you, Judy! I am so lucky to be your sister and to be able to learn so much from your wisdom and insight. Your dedication to helping others on their journey of growth is beautiful to see.
@@JudyHoPhD excellent talk! I am a neurologist and parent of two little ones. At what age does this neural network solidify? Another way to ask may be this: at what age is developing secure attachments most impactful? Age 0-2, 2-5, adolescence?
@@christopherstack176hi Dr. Christopher! Thanks so much for your question. The research would say first few years of life, with the first days to ages 4-5 being the most impactful. I’ve found that there are “waves” of impact as they grow older when they encounter life transitions, like going to school for the first time as a child, dating, moving out of the house etc., where their older attachment imprints come back up and sometimes reconfirmed through these new experiences where they must test out their self concept and their attachment scripts.
Thank you for tuning in! Sharing my TEDx talk was a deeply personal journey, and I'd love to hear what resonated with you the most. Your likes, comments, and shares mean the world to me as we continue this conversation together for a better, more empowered you. I will try my best to read every comment and respond, so feel free to post any questions you have about attachment, self-talk, and coping!
@@coppersense999 Thank you so much for sharing this talk and for your very positive feedback! Definitely keep an eye out for Maria's, hopefully it will be coming soon!
@@ahmadjamalmughal47thank you so much for sharing Ahmad, glad it resonated and that you found my TEDx talk as well. Best to you in your self-development journey!
I sooo appreciate your list of what re-parenting is. I want to write these on my index card so I can recognize when I’ve been treating myself well. I also appreciate the action step to select one of the mantras. Speaking to myself is challenging. In the mirror or out loud or even on a whisper, I struggle. I think I need to begin with reading aloud from the index card. I think hearing my voice is effective so getting over the awkwardness would be smart so I can do it more often. I just want to say that I REALLY hate it here. I have so much pain and it’s nearly impossible to accept the unhealthy relationships I have because they’re all with ppl in very close and important roles in my life. I just can’t believe this is real. ☹️☹️☹️ Anyway, Thank you so much for sharing.
I loved your talk. I learned about inner self-talk on RuPaul's drag race with Katya. She described her negative inner voice as "Brenda." And recommended, we give our negative inner voice and name and tell her to shut up. This advice changed my life. I realized my biggest critic and liar lived inside my head. When I told her to shut up. I started to replace her negative comments with positive ones that reflected the truth. For example, looking in a mirror, I could say, "You look great in that dress." Because it's true. Brenda doesn't exist for me anymore. When I catch myself with a negative thought, I can immediately tell it's her and send her on her way. 🎉
Hi Kris, thanks so much for sharing and for the positive comments. So glad to hear that you have been able to reflect and transform your thinking into positive, self-compassionate thoughts. Our biggest critics often live in our heads - others don't ever speak to us as harshly as we do to ourselves. Another hack I like using is to "thank my mind." Our minds are sometimes overly negative because they're trying to protect us from perceived or real harm, so I say "thank you Betty, but I got this!"
I am so proud and honored to have had you as my professor. You have taught me so much and continue to inspire and teach me. I am a better therapist because of you. Thank you for your support. You elevate the field of psychology.
Hi Russell! So kind of you to provide this wonderful feedback, and it's been so great to have you as my student! I appreciate the encouragement and will try and continue to help demystify mental illness and promote ideas for self-development that are practical and evidence-based.
How awesome to see a favored professor give speeches on RUclips/social media!!!! I love it! I have a few favorites and I get excited when I see their posts, etc.
This line hit hard: "It all begins with a secure attachment to yourself." What an incredible, incredible talk! I love listening to you explain literally anything, and I'm so lucky to be able to work alongside you to shed light on this important, relevant topic and so many others!
Very important topic, I recognised myself in those anxious attachment statements. Healing is hard, I still don't have enough will or some kind of encouragement to truly move towards healing, although I'm in the process of detecting and analysing my problems. Thank you, Judy, you help a lot of people!
Thanks for letting me know that you recognized yourself in the anxious attachment statements. Healing is not easy but understanding and having insight is such an important first step and you’re there! ❤ All the best to your healing journey.
I was riveted by every word, Judy. When you said "flip the script on your brain's operating system" and "its never too late to heal your insecure attachment wounds" I wanted to learn how. And, you showed the way! Thank you. Understanding that our "thoughts, behaviors, and feelings are all connected" and learning ways to listen to our inner child resonated deeply. You look great too!
Thank you Tracy for sharing your thoughts about this talk and for pulling out the phrases that made you want to take action! I appreciate this very thoughtful comment.
Dr. Judy is one of America's (and the World's) greatest mental health experts. This TEDx talk is just more proof of her tremendous expertise and phenomenal communication skills. The discussion and statistics around over worrying is so revealing. The biggest message to me was around having a great - positive attachment and relationship with self. We have seen how pervasive and detrimental it is when individuals don't have a positive attachment to self. Thanks again Dr. Judy - you are awesome!
Doug, thank you so much for this phenomenal endorsement and your thoughtful comments means so much to me! Having a positive attachment and relationship to self is such an important part of quieting that negative self-critic and being able to have more balanced, realistic thoughts about who you are and what you believe you deserve in life. Thanks so much for all you do Doug, to promote mental health and wellness for all.
Thank you so much Alex for your support and these kind words! It was awesome to see you at TEDx and I can't WAIT to see your talk again when it goes live on TEDx RUclips!
I have been waiting for this TedTalk for a long time and it did not disappoint. Everyone should take 20 minutes out of their day to listen to this powerful message.
Dr. Judy's authenticity is impeccable. The expertise and insight she shares on this subject highlights just how easily we develop hurtful self-talk and how it heavily influences our sense of self- and most importantly, she sheds light on how we can flip the script on the negative prose in our minds that keeps us stuck in this life. Thank you Dr. Judy!
Thank you so much Mandi for your insightful comments and yes, self-talk, sense of self, and how it relates to our attachment styles - these concepts are so inextricably linked it can be hard to untangle. My goal for this talk was to help shed light in a practical way that fosters practical action to heal!
Wow!!! This incredible talk so succinctly encapsulates my lifelong journey!!! I may make this my morning prayer for next few weeks, so I can remember to do all of it!!
How wonderful, Sandy! Thanks for letting me know that this is encapsulating your lifelong journey, and good luck with those morning prayers - I hope this is helpful!
I very much enjoy and learn from Dr. Judy on MedCircle. She’s just fantastic and I always appreciate her tremendous work and commitment to helping others. Everyone would benefit from this talk. The more childhood trauma you have the louder and more cruel the negative self-talk can get. Pushing back as well as recognizing and healing attachment style is a critical part of that journey. Great talk! ❤️
Thanks for the thoughtful comments, and I am so grateful for this feedback. It is so true that childhood trauma can lead to more and more negative self-talk that cascades into affecting all the different areas of your life. Knowing that you can heal attachment is everything. And anyone can do it.
Well from Melbourne in Australia, I just have to say, that was BRILLIANT! I'll suggest it often to the clients who come to me for counselling I know! Thank you!
Such powerful information and so beautifully said, thank you Dr. Judy! As a therapist, I am definitely passing your TEDx Talk on to everyone who needs to hear it.
Absolutely brilliant presentation! The speaker explained complex topics in an incredibly accessible and engaging manner, making learning effortless and enjoyable. Truly enlightening!
Excellent discussion on the impact of healthy vs unhealthy attachments. Empowering insights, and clear direction of how to help yourself grow. Judy- I’ve admired your intellect for years. Kudos to you for continuing to help people in meaningful ways.
Loni, thank you so much for this meaningful feedback! It’s my goal to give people clear ways to help themselves so that they know they can heal and be their very best. I admire you and all you do - thanks for stopping by to watch this video and share your thoughts!
Just my opinion: first half of talk was ok, valid points, general info that widely known here and there. Then once Judy transitioned into attachment types, that's were the real talk began. How to heal and re-parent yourself with clear and simple (not easy though) steps. Thank you! This is profound and insightful.
Hi! Thanks for sharing your honest feedback! I’m so glad to hear that the attachment types and the reparenting strategies is what brought the most insight! Self talk is ubiquitous so I wanted to start with that piece first to then show how attachment styles is just as universal and where self talk stems from for everyone. Appreciate you leaving this comment and reparenting is definitely not easy but it’s doable with intention and breaking it down one step at a time!
This talk was interesting, informative and easy to follow. The homework given at the end was a great tool that could benefit everyone. My favorite line was: no one knows you better than you and you have the unique wisdom of your lived experiences! Bravo, Dr. Judy! 👏🏽👏🏽
Ah! Thanks for shouting out your favorite line!! It’s so true though and we don’t give ourselves enough credit, right? I’m so glad to hear the talk was easy to follow and that you enjoyed the homework at the end!!
This talk is absolutely amazing! It's a game-changer for anyone seeking to reclaim control over their mental chatter and lead a more fulfilling life. So insightful with so many practical tips!!!
This video came out in just the right moment for me. Truly no coincidences. This is what I’m working on right now and my therapeutic goal is to become securely attached rather than my insecure attachment style (I feel like I’m all three and wondering if it changes depending on the person you are with…maybe that makes me disorganized). I know ppl say you have to love yourself before you can love someone else, but I really appreciate how the speaker said I need to have a secure attachment to myself first. That was much more palatable than the former statement. Thank you for your talk. You made the concept more digestible and understandable as well as being an excellent presenter. Looking forward to using these affirmations and techniques. Thank you!!!!
Thank you so much for this wonderful feedback and I am so glad to hear that you are working towards cultivating a secure attachment style. And yes, many people are blends of attachment styles rather than purely just one - which is not talked about often. Disorganized is not a combo of anxious and avoidant which is what I see a lot of pop culture attachment articles seem to state - rather, it's a unique attachment style predicated on a constant feeling of being in fight or flight and being more prone to nervous system dysregulation. So glad to hear that secure attachment to self (rather than self-love as a goal or statement) resonated with you. Let me know how these affirmations work out and best of luck in your self-development!
Judy-As always, you simply inspire me to be a better HUMAN! Your concise delivery of helping one to have more "secure attachment" and hence, offer more to other humans is REMARKABLE!! YOU are incredibly special, breaking down such complex concepts and being able to do this and help others!
Susan, thank you so much for your kind words. We all have the capacity to be better humans for ourselves and for one another. It means so much to me that you took the time to watch and to offer such a thoughtful analysis!
WOW! Thank you Dr. Judy for your constant help, support, and this wonderful TEDx talk which is the perfect introduction to your new book 'Attachment'. I hope a lot of people have an opportunity to see this TEDx talk and to read your books. I love that your work is always practical, empathetic and science based. You truly make the world a better place and provide healing to so many. Thank you!
Danny! Thanks for taking the time to provide such thoughtful and supportive feedback. It’s such a goal of mine to break down scientific information in ways that are digestible, practical and useful; so hearing this from you makes me so happy! Thank you for encouraging me and shouting out my work!
Thank you for making me realize that this inner peace of completion I see in others once in a blue moon when I deeply desire to be with them always actually starts from my inner self inner child. Through this understanding of myself it makes sense that I just need to project this outwards to attract the right people in my life. 6200 thoughts a day sounds amazing although not surprising based on the fact that we take in millions of stimuli each day.
Thank you so much for sharing this, and yes, it all starts with your inner child. Projecting this outward to attract the right people once you have secure attachment within is definitely a great way to apply this information and I'm confident that when you remember how much you are valued, people in your life will show the same kind of care and support toward you too. And yes - it's not surprising when you think about the amount of information that is coming at us all the time! Thanks again fro taking the time to write such a thoughtful comment.
Train the brain,that was my go to while parenting foster kids w/ RAD. What we think we believe and become. Such an essential msg for us all. Thank you 😊
Thank you Michelle for sharing your thoughts and amazing about your work parenting foster kids. Thoughts do become things and that’s why it’s so important for us to take stock of what they are and understand that not every thought we have is true, and to learn to have more balanced thinking rather than blanket positivity that isn’t specific or applicable to one’s situation. Thanks for watching and commenting!
I wrote down the 10 nurturing parent activities behaviors self talk very powerful and healing. I've been working with attachment theory I'm probably 80%anxious. This explains so much and the insight creates self understanding which leads to self compassion which allows for deep change. Thank you ! So powerful and so clear !
I am so happy to hear that you wrote down the 10 nurturing reparenting activities and that it's powerful and healing for you. Thanks for sharing your attachment style and for letting me know how this has helped you understand and achieve more insight! I am grateful for the positive feedback!
Amen, Dr. Judy!!! Love this woman! I found you here on RUclips/Medcircle channel a few weeks ago and I’ve learned so much from you already! I appreciate you! Keep spreading wisdom and consciousness! God bless you! Thank you! 🙏💝✨
Hi Marian! So glad you found my work and that you’re finding this helpful! I appreciate the feedback and will continue to keep trying to put out helpful, practical info out there!
Fascinating information. This helped me reflect on my parenting and looking at my grown children in search of my influence on them. Thank you for such knowledgeable insight.
I believe in and like myself. I can handle what comes my way. I can effect positive outcomes in my life. I can be independent and rely on others, too. I want to practice this everyday🤍
My closest friend told me years ago that she thought of me as a lone wolf. Hearing that exact phrase used in reference to being an avoidant attachment was…illuminating.
Wow! Thanks for sharing and it’s interesting what the people know us best observe. I find the lone wolf description to be quintessential to the self-concept/identity of most avoidantly attached individuals.
I am always impressed by the way in which you are able to communicate information in such an empathic manner. The synthesis of this research and the adaptability of it to the audience is what makes you an expert in this area! Thank you Judy for taking the time to share this with us.
An honor to know you Dr. Judy, what an inspiration to love ourselves in order to be healthy emotionally, mentally,physically and spirituality. Congrats on your new book!!!
Thank you so much for taking the time to watch and to provide your thoughtful comments, Scarlett! It’s an honor to know you too, and I’m grateful for you!
Great presentation! I think I have anxious attachment so I am going to be extra nice to myself and employ positive self statements every day! Just loved the reframing of these activities as reparenting ergo restructuring to improve our lives and well being! 👏👏👏
Thanks so much for sharing @OCGal78! If you have anxious attachment, it is so important to be extra compassionate to yourself and to prioritize your needs because people with this attachment style are often the martyrs in their social circle, always sacrificing for others! So glad to hear that you like the reframing of these activities as reparenting - because that is truly what it is. I hope this demystifies reparenting for people who aren't sure what that term means or how to put it into practical action.
I’m almost 74 years old. And I’ve been trying to heal my inner child for ten years now. It’s tough! But rewarding. Attachment style realization has become front and center of my focus for a couple of years.
So amazing Joe, to hear about your inner child healing work over the past decade. It’s definitely more challenging than other types of self-development work but the positive impacts are far reaching. Attachment based work can be so important if people are willing to take a look - it’s wonderful that this has been front and center for you!
Great discussion and very informative. We definitly get in our own way, which doesn't allow us to reach our full potential. Thank you for simplifying the topic of self sabotage, and providing simple solutions so we can get out of our own way.
Thank you so much for the kind encouragement and feedback - we all get in our own way sometimes and it's also up to us to get ourselves out of that if we can just recognize the patterns and know how worthy we all are - even with our mistakes and failings.
In my experience: I had to address my dysfunctional abusive childhood in order to heal and change my mindset. I had to start faking it until I made it! I started treating myself like I treat people I love, and the way I want people to treat me. When that inner critic would start…I would talk over it and constantly repeat something positive instead and affirmations and constantly was reading self development materials to flood out the negative.This took months! Also, I had to stop allowing negative unhealed people in my life! The brain can be rewired! It takes time! ❤ It takes more energy, beating yourself up and allowing negative thoughts to control you than doing something it does to change that thought with the positive thought !
Thanks so much for sharing your journey. It's wonderful that you started treating yourself like the people you love and care for - that is such a great example of reparenting! And knowing that the inner critic may come but also knowing how to address and manage it. It can be hard at first to purge negative people from your life - but it's important to seek healing relationships with people who will honor you. Beautiful discussion and thanks for taking the time to watch and comment.
Understanding the power of our self-talk is crucial for personal growth and well-being. 🧠 By becoming aware of our internal dialogue and making small shifts towards positivity, we can unlock greater resilience and achieve our full potential.
Absolutely true! Our self talk colors so much of how we see ourselves and the world, and it’s never too late to make the shifts needed to cultivate a healthier self image.
You are an amazing communicator. You make the science understandable and teach how it can be applied. I’m currently reading your book Stop Self-Sabotage and hoping to learn how to make healthy choices that align with my core values. Your stellar communication skills also show up in your writing. Thank you for sharing your knowledge. Tom
Thank you Thomas for your very positive feedback and I am so glad that I was able to make the science understandable and applicable. I appreciate you reading Stop Self-Sabotage and hope it is helpful for your self-development journey. I really enjoy the writing process and take great pride in trying to make things educational but also a simpler read so it's not too daunting. Thanks for taking the time to write such a thoughtful comment @thomasnorris2171!
Hi Marty! Thanks so much for the kind words and it was fantastic meeting you too!! I appreciate the support and can't wait to see your talk go live on RUclips soon.
So well articulated regarding the complex development of self and a rational for effective therapy. Can certainly see the influence of brain development (ABPdN) throughout your talk. Thank you.
Thank you so much Steven for your thoughtful feedback! The self is indeed so complex in development but the good news is we can heal at any age and stage earlier emotional wounds and traumas. And yes! Shout out to neuropsychology and AAPdN for sure in aspects of this talk!
I swear I had this same "reparenting your inner child" revelation earlier this year. Its so true, and profound. This year has been the year of actions to secure my inner child's needs, and the year before was abolishing negative self talk. Its wild hearing someone else saying it out loud. Love that you're sharing this with others who need to hear this so that they can start this journey 💜
Hi Jacki! Thanks so much for sharing your experience with repsrrnigng your inner child and managing negative self-talk. I really appreciate your kind words and so glad this is resonating and validating to the self development work you’re doing! ❤❤
Amazing talk Judy! So relevant for everything in life and also just a strong, self empowering message that we only need ourselves to improve our attachment style. Also always admire how you can explain complicated things in a simple way.
Thank you so much Paula, I so appreciate you watching and for your thoughtful feedback! I agree that it's so important to find ways to to create positive change and take action!
Congrats Dr. Judy. Great Ted talk, so relatable, great advice for us self talkers. Dr. Judy always brings her best expertise and educates her audience when she has a platform to speak. And she’s very nice to work with too when booking her for special segments on live TV. Again, Congrats! Tish from CTV.
Thank you so much Paul, for your very kind words and your support! It’s so important to take an internal inventory and know how we can reshape thoughts that just aren’t serving our most important values and goals ❤
Enlightening and relatable explanation of how attachment styles shape our self-image . Excellent practical tips provided for cultivating a healthier attachment and self-image. Thought-provoking and helpful - keep shining a light on these important psychological topics!
Good talk. I'm only speaking from personal experience but sometimes insecurities can happen later due to averse life events even if you come from a loving supportive family.
Definitely. Most people's insecure attachment styles show up with early childhood experiences, but you can absolutely have later life experiences that are pivotal to shaping or revising your attachment styles as well. Thanks for sharing your experience - I'm sure it resonates with others!
Thank you so much for the kind words and so glad you liked it! My goal was to find practical ways to implement strategies that can change your life but don't feel like such big undertakings that people shy away from even attempting them. Hopefully everyone will give these a try!
I see the plot of Dune 3 now - Dr. Judy fights off the Thought Worms! This was more than just a fantastic talk from Judy, but a group session to anyone who was lucky enough to watch or attend the talk. There are a million takeaways from this, but maybe one of the most important is that "you are inherently worthy". Thanks for giving us the time, insight, and tools Judy!
Haha! I love Sci-Fi and I love Dune, so thank you for your imagination and for putting me in the plot of Dune 3! 😊 I appreciate the kind words and hope this is helpful and healing to many people. We often question our own self-worth or worse, just believe we aren’t worthy because of past mistakes or this deep belief that can be hard to pinpoint but most likely originated from childhood experiences that planted these seeds of self-deprecation. We all have worth and this worth isn’t dependent on your actions. So often we think we must do something to deserve support and love, but knowing that we are worthy helps to transform how you think about yourself, how you relate to others, and how you go about goals.
Yes! 👏🏽👏🏽 this is what’s helping me heal through my trauma, articulated similarly in Langston Khan’s book. What a thoughtful, well written & spoken presentation. Keep sharing your knowledge sister!
Thank you so much for sharing that this is what has helped heal your trauma. I do appreciate your thoughtful comments and I will definitely continue to share! Best to you and your self-development ❤
Thank you so so much for the kind words! Giving this talk was such a wonderful experience and I'd love to do more in the future if the opportunity presents itself!
Judy thanks for doing an excellent podcast ! I found your extremely the valuable. It's good to know the different types of attachments that influence our thoughts and behaviors. I'm going for d b t and it helps to understand where's some of my issues come from.
It’s really fascinating she calls it an operating system. I learned about the Default Mode Network during my healing journey…psychedelics are at the forefront of altering that system quickly for folks.
Thanks for sharing. Very cool that you learned about the default mode network, it's a big topic of discussion among neuropsychologists and neurologists.
Dear Helen, thanks so much for your kind words about this talk and I’m glad you find it helpful to overview attachment styles. Appreciate you recommending to others! ❤
I’m 5:40 in and I like that you say “caregivers” vs “parents.” Not all of us were raised by “parents” I was raised in a cult here in the US and didn’t even have anyone to call mother or father for a few years as a small child. So when the word “parents” is used I usually either get stuck or triggered and start to glaze over and lose interest. It becomes irrelevant to me. So, so far, I appreciate the term you are using.Still watching.
Thank you so much marichiarra, for your comment about the use of caregiver language. I am sorry to hear that you were raised in a cult and what experiences you must have been through. I am glad that my use of caregiver as a term which was more inclusive to people's experiences helped with not feeling stuck or triggered, so that hopefully you were able to find the information provided more helpful and applicable to you. Thanks for watching and commenting on this very important topic.
I have reparented myself in many contexts and I would like to share that at some points I didnt have an internal reference point and needed a relational experience to create one.
So proud of you, Judy! I am so lucky to be your sister and to be able to learn so much from your wisdom and insight. Your dedication to helping others on their journey of growth is beautiful to see.
Thank you so much sister for your support and I really do hope that people get something valuable out of this!
You guys are definitely successful siblings!
@@JudyHoPhD excellent talk! I am a neurologist and parent of two little ones. At what age does this neural network solidify? Another way to ask may be this: at what age is developing secure attachments most impactful? Age 0-2, 2-5, adolescence?
@@christopherstack176hi Dr. Christopher! Thanks so much for your question. The research would say first few years of life, with the first days to ages 4-5 being the most impactful. I’ve found that there are “waves” of impact as they grow older when they encounter life transitions, like going to school for the first time as a child, dating, moving out of the house etc., where their older attachment imprints come back up and sometimes reconfirmed through these new experiences where they must test out their self concept and their attachment scripts.
@@andrewmichieli1760thanks Andrew! My sister has a TEDx talk coming up actually at TEDxUCSD! It’s been so fun to be on this TEDx journey with her.
Thank you for tuning in! Sharing my TEDx talk was a deeply personal journey, and I'd love to hear what resonated with you the most. Your likes, comments, and shares mean the world to me as we continue this conversation together for a better, more empowered you.
I will try my best to read every comment and respond, so feel free to post any questions you have about attachment, self-talk, and coping!
I will definitely be sharing. Thank you for this fascinating talk. I will keep an eye out for your sister's as well!
@@coppersense999 Thank you so much for sharing this talk and for your very positive feedback! Definitely keep an eye out for Maria's, hopefully it will be coming soon!
I read it in article you wrote for psychology today, it resonated with my current condition a lot, I hope to watch the ted talk soon, thank you. ♥️
@@ahmadjamalmughal47thank you so much for sharing Ahmad, glad it resonated and that you found my TEDx talk as well. Best to you in your self-development journey!
I sooo appreciate your list of what re-parenting is. I want to write these on my index card so I can recognize when I’ve been treating myself well. I also appreciate the action step to select one of the mantras. Speaking to myself is challenging. In the mirror or out loud or even on a whisper, I struggle. I think I need to begin with reading aloud from the index card. I think hearing my voice is effective so getting over the awkwardness would be smart so I can do it more often.
I just want to say that I REALLY hate it here. I have so much pain and it’s nearly impossible to accept the unhealthy relationships I have because they’re all with ppl in very close and important roles in my life. I just can’t believe this is real. ☹️☹️☹️ Anyway, Thank you so much for sharing.
"It is never too late to heal your insecure attachment" ♥️♥️♥️
Yes, it's never too late! Thanks for calling out that phrase!!
I loved your talk. I learned about inner self-talk on RuPaul's drag race with Katya. She described her negative inner voice as "Brenda." And recommended, we give our negative inner voice and name and tell her to shut up. This advice changed my life. I realized my biggest critic and liar lived inside my head. When I told her to shut up. I started to replace her negative comments with positive ones that reflected the truth. For example, looking in a mirror, I could say, "You look great in that dress." Because it's true. Brenda doesn't exist for me anymore. When I catch myself with a negative thought, I can immediately tell it's her and send her on her way. 🎉
Hi Kris, thanks so much for sharing and for the positive comments. So glad to hear that you have been able to reflect and transform your thinking into positive, self-compassionate thoughts. Our biggest critics often live in our heads - others don't ever speak to us as harshly as we do to ourselves. Another hack I like using is to "thank my mind." Our minds are sometimes overly negative because they're trying to protect us from perceived or real harm, so I say "thank you Betty, but I got this!"
I am so proud and honored to have had you as my professor. You have taught me so much and continue to inspire and teach me. I am a better therapist because of you. Thank you for your support. You elevate the field of psychology.
Hi Russell! So kind of you to provide this wonderful feedback, and it's been so great to have you as my student! I appreciate the encouragement and will try and continue to help demystify mental illness and promote ideas for self-development that are practical and evidence-based.
How awesome to see a favored professor give speeches on RUclips/social media!!!! I love it! I have a few favorites and I get excited when I see their posts, etc.
How kind of you to share that, Denise. Thank you.
This line hit hard: "It all begins with a secure attachment to yourself." What an incredible, incredible talk! I love listening to you explain literally anything, and I'm so lucky to be able to work alongside you to shed light on this important, relevant topic and so many others!
Thank you so much Alyssa! I so appreciate our work together, and thank you for taking the time to watch this and to respond with your impressions.
Very important topic, I recognised myself in those anxious attachment statements.
Healing is hard, I still don't have enough will or some kind of encouragement to truly move towards healing, although I'm in the process of detecting and analysing my problems.
Thank you, Judy, you help a lot of people!
Thanks for letting me know that you recognized yourself in the anxious attachment statements. Healing is not easy but understanding and having insight is such an important first step and you’re there! ❤ All the best to your healing journey.
I was riveted by every word, Judy. When you said "flip the script on your brain's operating system" and "its never too late to heal your insecure attachment wounds" I wanted to learn how. And, you showed the way! Thank you. Understanding that our "thoughts, behaviors, and feelings are all connected" and learning ways to listen to our inner child resonated deeply. You look great too!
Thank you Tracy for sharing your thoughts about this talk and for pulling out the phrases that made you want to take action! I appreciate this very thoughtful comment.
Dr. Judy is one of America's (and the World's) greatest mental health experts. This TEDx talk is just more proof of her tremendous expertise and phenomenal communication skills. The discussion and statistics around over worrying is so revealing. The biggest message to me was around having a great - positive attachment and relationship with self. We have seen how pervasive and detrimental it is when individuals don't have a positive attachment to self. Thanks again Dr. Judy - you are awesome!
Doug, thank you so much for this phenomenal endorsement and your thoughtful comments means so much to me! Having a positive attachment and relationship to self is such an important part of quieting that negative self-critic and being able to have more balanced, realistic thoughts about who you are and what you believe you deserve in life. Thanks so much for all you do Doug, to promote mental health and wellness for all.
I love and accept myself.
Here here!!! Say it loud and proud!
I saw this talk in person and wow - I came away realizing that changing our self-talk can change the world. Congrats Judy!
Thank you so much Alex for your support and these kind words! It was awesome to see you at TEDx and I can't WAIT to see your talk again when it goes live on TEDx RUclips!
I have been waiting for this TedTalk for a long time and it did not disappoint. Everyone should take 20 minutes out of their day to listen to this powerful message.
Dr. Judy's authenticity is impeccable. The expertise and insight she shares on this subject highlights just how easily we develop hurtful self-talk and how it heavily influences our sense of self- and most importantly, she sheds light on how we can flip the script on the negative prose in our minds that keeps us stuck in this life. Thank you Dr. Judy!
Thank you so much Mandi for your insightful comments and yes, self-talk, sense of self, and how it relates to our attachment styles - these concepts are so inextricably linked it can be hard to untangle. My goal for this talk was to help shed light in a practical way that fosters practical action to heal!
Wow!!! This incredible talk so succinctly encapsulates my lifelong journey!!! I may make this my morning prayer for next few weeks, so I can remember to do all of it!!
How wonderful, Sandy! Thanks for letting me know that this is encapsulating your lifelong journey, and good luck with those morning prayers - I hope this is helpful!
currently on my healing journey and this really resonates with me. such an important talk!
Thanks so much for letting me know it is resonating!!!
I very much enjoy and learn from Dr. Judy on MedCircle. She’s just fantastic and I always appreciate her tremendous work and commitment to helping others. Everyone would benefit from this talk. The more childhood trauma you have the louder and more cruel the negative self-talk can get. Pushing back as well as recognizing and healing attachment style is a critical part of that journey. Great talk! ❤️
Thanks for the thoughtful comments, and I am so grateful for this feedback. It is so true that childhood trauma can lead to more and more negative self-talk that cascades into affecting all the different areas of your life. Knowing that you can heal attachment is everything. And anyone can do it.
Well from Melbourne in Australia, I just have to say, that was BRILLIANT! I'll suggest it often to the clients who come to me for counselling I know! Thank you!
Hi Louise in Melbourne! Thanks for letting me know that this is a useful tool for your clients in counseling! All the best.
Such powerful information and so beautifully said, thank you Dr. Judy! As a therapist, I am definitely passing your TEDx Talk on to everyone who needs to hear it.
Thank you Anita for passing along to your clients who might find this helpful!
Absolutely brilliant presentation! The speaker explained complex topics in an incredibly accessible and engaging manner, making learning effortless and enjoyable. Truly enlightening!
Thank you so much!!
Excellent discussion on the impact of healthy vs unhealthy attachments. Empowering insights, and clear direction of how to help yourself grow. Judy- I’ve admired your intellect for years. Kudos to you for continuing to help people in meaningful ways.
Loni, thank you so much for this meaningful feedback! It’s my goal to give people clear ways to help themselves so that they know they can heal and be their very best. I admire you and all you do - thanks for stopping by to watch this video and share your thoughts!
Just my opinion: first half of talk was ok, valid points, general info that widely known here and there. Then once Judy transitioned into attachment types, that's were the real talk began. How to heal and re-parent yourself with clear and simple (not easy though) steps. Thank you! This is profound and insightful.
Hi! Thanks for sharing your honest feedback! I’m so glad to hear that the attachment types and the reparenting strategies is what brought the most insight! Self talk is ubiquitous so I wanted to start with that piece first to then show how attachment styles is just as universal and where self talk stems from for everyone. Appreciate you leaving this comment and reparenting is definitely not easy but it’s doable with intention and breaking it down one step at a time!
This talk was interesting, informative and easy to follow. The homework given at the end was a great tool that could benefit everyone. My favorite line was: no one knows you better than you and you have the unique wisdom of your lived experiences! Bravo, Dr. Judy! 👏🏽👏🏽
Ah! Thanks for shouting out your favorite line!! It’s so true though and we don’t give ourselves enough credit, right? I’m so glad to hear the talk was easy to follow and that you enjoyed the homework at the end!!
This talk is absolutely amazing! It's a game-changer for anyone seeking to reclaim control over their mental chatter and lead a more fulfilling life. So insightful with so many practical tips!!!
Thanks so much Dr. Nita - your support means so much to me!
This video came out in just the right moment for me. Truly no coincidences. This is what I’m working on right now and my therapeutic goal is to become securely attached rather than my insecure attachment style (I feel like I’m all three and wondering if it changes depending on the person you are with…maybe that makes me disorganized). I know ppl say you have to love yourself before you can love someone else, but I really appreciate how the speaker said I need to have a secure attachment to myself first. That was much more palatable than the former statement. Thank you for your talk. You made the concept more digestible and understandable as well as being an excellent presenter. Looking forward to using these affirmations and techniques. Thank you!!!!
Thank you so much for this wonderful feedback and I am so glad to hear that you are working towards cultivating a secure attachment style. And yes, many people are blends of attachment styles rather than purely just one - which is not talked about often. Disorganized is not a combo of anxious and avoidant which is what I see a lot of pop culture attachment articles seem to state - rather, it's a unique attachment style predicated on a constant feeling of being in fight or flight and being more prone to nervous system dysregulation. So glad to hear that secure attachment to self (rather than self-love as a goal or statement) resonated with you. Let me know how these affirmations work out and best of luck in your self-development!
Judy-As always, you simply inspire me to be a better HUMAN! Your concise delivery of helping one to have more "secure attachment" and hence, offer more to other humans is REMARKABLE!! YOU are incredibly special, breaking down such complex concepts and being able to do this and help others!
Susan, thank you so much for your kind words. We all have the capacity to be better humans for ourselves and for one another. It means so much to me that you took the time to watch and to offer such a thoughtful analysis!
WOW! Thank you Dr. Judy for your constant help, support, and this wonderful TEDx talk which is the perfect introduction to your new book 'Attachment'. I hope a lot of people have an opportunity to see this TEDx talk and to read your books. I love that your work is always practical, empathetic and science based. You truly make the world a better place and provide healing to so many. Thank you!
Danny! Thanks for taking the time to provide such thoughtful and supportive feedback. It’s such a goal of mine to break down scientific information in ways that are digestible, practical and useful; so hearing this from you makes me so happy! Thank you for encouraging me and shouting out my work!
Judy- Was an honor to meet you at TEDx Reno and hear this fantastic talk!
Hi Dr. Rosmarin! Was so awesome to meet you and thanks for the kind feedback. I can’t wait to see your inspiring talk up on TEDx RUclips soon.
Thank you for making me realize that this inner peace of completion I see in others once in a blue moon when I deeply desire to be with them always actually starts from my inner self inner child. Through this understanding of myself it makes sense that I just need to project this outwards to attract the right people in my life. 6200 thoughts a day sounds amazing although not surprising based on the fact that we take in millions of stimuli each day.
Thank you so much for sharing this, and yes, it all starts with your inner child. Projecting this outward to attract the right people once you have secure attachment within is definitely a great way to apply this information and I'm confident that when you remember how much you are valued, people in your life will show the same kind of care and support toward you too. And yes - it's not surprising when you think about the amount of information that is coming at us all the time! Thanks again fro taking the time to write such a thoughtful comment.
Train the brain,that was my go to while parenting foster kids w/ RAD. What we think we believe and become. Such an essential msg for us all. Thank you 😊
Thank you Michelle for sharing your thoughts and amazing about your work parenting foster kids. Thoughts do become things and that’s why it’s so important for us to take stock of what they are and understand that not every thought we have is true, and to learn to have more balanced thinking rather than blanket positivity that isn’t specific or applicable to one’s situation. Thanks for watching and commenting!
I wrote down the 10 nurturing parent activities behaviors self talk very powerful and healing. I've been working with attachment theory I'm probably 80%anxious. This explains so much and the insight creates self understanding which leads to self compassion which allows for deep change. Thank you ! So powerful and so clear !
I am so happy to hear that you wrote down the 10 nurturing reparenting activities and that it's powerful and healing for you. Thanks for sharing your attachment style and for letting me know how this has helped you understand and achieve more insight! I am grateful for the positive feedback!
Amen, Dr. Judy!!! Love this woman! I found you here on RUclips/Medcircle channel a few weeks ago and I’ve learned so much from you already! I appreciate you! Keep spreading wisdom and consciousness! God bless you! Thank you! 🙏💝✨
Hi Marian! So glad you found my work and that you’re finding this helpful! I appreciate the feedback and will continue to keep trying to put out helpful, practical info out there!
Fascinating information. This helped me reflect on my parenting and looking at my grown children in search of my influence on them. Thank you for such knowledgeable insight.
Thank you so much for the kind words.
I believe in and like myself.
I can handle what comes my way.
I can effect positive outcomes in my life.
I can be independent and rely on others, too.
I want to practice this everyday🤍
Michelle, I love that you will practice these affirmations every single day! Let me know about how it goes if you want to check in here again :)
My closest friend told me years ago that she thought of me as a lone wolf. Hearing that exact phrase used in reference to being an avoidant attachment was…illuminating.
Wow! Thanks for sharing and it’s interesting what the people know us best observe. I find the lone wolf description to be quintessential to the self-concept/identity of most avoidantly attached individuals.
This is such a razor-sharp, powerful, and gentle speech. Thank you!
What a wonderful review of my talk, thank you so much for your feedback!
I am always impressed by the way in which you are able to communicate information in such an empathic manner. The synthesis of this research and the adaptability of it to the audience is what makes you an expert in this area! Thank you Judy for taking the time to share this with us.
Thanks so much Dr. Trevor! This is such positive feedback and it means the world!
I will start intentionally reparenting myself now! This was a fabulous talk!
Yay to your reparenting journey! Thanks for the great feedback 😊
This talk is very insightful. Please make sure you listen to it.
Thank you so much for the kind words and support, Gaia!
An honor to know you Dr. Judy, what an inspiration to love ourselves in order to be healthy emotionally, mentally,physically and spirituality. Congrats on your new book!!!
Thank you so much for taking the time to watch and to provide your thoughtful comments, Scarlett! It’s an honor to know you too, and I’m grateful for you!
Great presentation! I think I have anxious attachment so I am going to be extra nice to myself and employ positive self statements every day! Just loved the reframing of these activities as reparenting ergo restructuring to improve our lives and well being! 👏👏👏
Thanks so much for sharing @OCGal78! If you have anxious attachment, it is so important to be extra compassionate to yourself and to prioritize your needs because people with this attachment style are often the martyrs in their social circle, always sacrificing for others! So glad to hear that you like the reframing of these activities as reparenting - because that is truly what it is. I hope this demystifies reparenting for people who aren't sure what that term means or how to put it into practical action.
I’m almost 74 years old. And I’ve been trying to heal my inner child for ten years now. It’s tough! But rewarding. Attachment style realization has become front and center of my focus for a couple of years.
So amazing Joe, to hear about your inner child healing work over the past decade. It’s definitely more challenging than other types of self-development work but the positive impacts are far reaching. Attachment based work can be so important if people are willing to take a look - it’s wonderful that this has been front and center for you!
Great discussion and very informative. We definitly get in our own way, which doesn't allow us to reach our full potential. Thank you for simplifying the topic of self sabotage, and providing simple solutions so we can get out of our own way.
Thank you so much for the kind encouragement and feedback - we all get in our own way sometimes and it's also up to us to get ourselves out of that if we can just recognize the patterns and know how worthy we all are - even with our mistakes and failings.
Judy, this is incredible!! Amazing job! So impressed by your words and your accomplishments!
Thank you so much for the very kind words! I really appreciate it!!
In my experience:
I had to address my dysfunctional abusive childhood in order to heal and change my mindset. I had to start faking it until I made it! I started treating myself like I treat people I love, and the way I want people to treat me. When that inner critic would start…I would talk over it and constantly repeat something positive instead and affirmations and constantly was reading self development materials to flood out the negative.This took months! Also, I had to stop allowing negative unhealed people in my life! The brain can be rewired! It takes time! ❤
It takes more energy, beating yourself up and allowing negative thoughts to control you than doing something it does to change that thought with the positive thought !
Thanks so much for sharing your journey. It's wonderful that you started treating yourself like the people you love and care for - that is such a great example of reparenting! And knowing that the inner critic may come but also knowing how to address and manage it. It can be hard at first to purge negative people from your life - but it's important to seek healing relationships with people who will honor you. Beautiful discussion and thanks for taking the time to watch and comment.
@@JudyHoPhD Thank you for your support 🥰
I just had this conversation with my therapist last week!!! Thank you
Ah! Love that synergy. Self-talk is so ubiquitous to our h human experience.
Everything you share is always so powerful! Loved watching and learning from you Judy!
Thank you so much Dr. Therese! It means so much to me that you watched and enjoyed.
Understanding the power of our self-talk is crucial for personal growth and well-being. 🧠 By becoming aware of our internal dialogue and making small shifts towards positivity, we can unlock greater resilience and achieve our full potential.
Absolutely true! Our self talk colors so much of how we see ourselves and the world, and it’s never too late to make the shifts needed to cultivate a healthier self image.
You are an amazing communicator. You make the science understandable and teach how it can be applied. I’m currently reading your book Stop Self-Sabotage and hoping to learn how to make healthy choices that align with my core values.
Your stellar communication skills also show up in your writing.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge.
Tom
Thank you Thomas for your very positive feedback and I am so glad that I was able to make the science understandable and applicable.
I appreciate you reading Stop Self-Sabotage and hope it is helpful for your self-development journey.
I really enjoy the writing process and take great pride in trying to make things educational but also a simpler read so it's not too daunting.
Thanks for taking the time to write such a thoughtful comment @thomasnorris2171!
Hi Judy,
Thank you for your reply. I’ll let you know how my work through Stop Self-Sabotage turns out. All the best. Tom
JUDY!! Awesome stuff. Was fantastic meeting you!! I’m so glad folks are watching your incredible insights!! ❤
Hi Marty! Thanks so much for the kind words and it was fantastic meeting you too!! I appreciate the support and can't wait to see your talk go live on RUclips soon.
So well articulated regarding the complex development of self and a rational for
effective therapy. Can certainly see the influence of brain development (ABPdN) throughout
your talk. Thank you.
Thank you so much Steven for your thoughtful feedback! The self is indeed so complex in development but the good news is we can heal at any age and stage earlier emotional wounds and traumas. And yes! Shout out to neuropsychology and AAPdN for sure in aspects of this talk!
Always amazing insight and information. Appreciate your willingness to truly help change lives for the better. Thank you, Judy!
Thank you for watching and for this positive feedback Donna!!! So glad to know you and love keeping up with your work too.
I swear I had this same "reparenting your inner child" revelation earlier this year. Its so true, and profound. This year has been the year of actions to secure my inner child's needs, and the year before was abolishing negative self talk. Its wild hearing someone else saying it out loud. Love that you're sharing this with others who need to hear this so that they can start this journey 💜
Hi Jacki! Thanks so much for sharing your experience with repsrrnigng your inner child and managing negative self-talk. I really appreciate your kind words and so glad this is resonating and validating to the self development work you’re doing! ❤❤
Amazing talk Judy! So relevant for everything in life and also just a strong, self empowering message that we only need ourselves to improve our attachment style. Also always admire how you can explain complicated things in a simple way.
Thank you so much Paula, I so appreciate you watching and for your thoughtful feedback! I agree that it's so important to find ways to to create positive change and take action!
Congrats Dr. Judy. Great Ted talk, so relatable, great advice for us self talkers. Dr. Judy always brings her best expertise and educates her audience when she has a platform to speak. And she’s very nice to work with too when booking her for special segments on live TV. Again, Congrats! Tish from CTV.
Thank you so much Tish for the very positive feedback and it’s always great to work with you!
This is an enlightening inspiring talk. Thank you for shining a light on our self talk and how to support ourselves better when we're struggling.
Thank you so much Paul, for your very kind words and your support! It’s so important to take an internal inventory and know how we can reshape thoughts that just aren’t serving our most important values and goals ❤
Dang! Dr. Judy does it again! Thank you for explaining this and bringing your insight to the masses. Love, Dr. Judy!
Thank you so so much Kyle, for your kind words!
ALWAYS great content from Dr. Judy. This is WELL WORTH the less than twenty minutes it will take you to watch.
Thank you Tommy, so glad to hear this was worth the watch and helpful!!
Thank you for doing this talk, @Judy. Always helpful and clarifying to hear from you.
Thanks so much for the positive feedback Liza!
This resonated with me on my own healing journey! Thank you for empowering me
Thank you so much for letting me know this helped you on your healing journey!
Love it! Attachment explains so much of the human experience.
It really does and is foundational to all of us!
Amazing! This is such a valuable talk. I really enjoy Dr Judy’s work.
Thank you so much for the positive feedback!!
Judy Ho's advice is amazing!
Thank you so much!!
We agree!
@@tedxrenonv Thanks for choosing me to be part of TEDxReno class of 2024!
Enlightening and relatable explanation of how attachment styles shape our self-image . Excellent practical tips provided for cultivating a healthier attachment and self-image. Thought-provoking and helpful - keep shining a light on these important psychological topics!
Thank you so much for the wonderful feedback Pablo, this means a lot to me.
Good talk. I'm only speaking from personal experience but sometimes insecurities can happen later due to averse life events even if you come from a loving supportive family.
Definitely. Most people's insecure attachment styles show up with early childhood experiences, but you can absolutely have later life experiences that are pivotal to shaping or revising your attachment styles as well. Thanks for sharing your experience - I'm sure it resonates with others!
Loved this talk so much! ❤ great insights valuable for anyone to implement. Fantastic job!
Thank you so much for the kind words and so glad you liked it! My goal was to find practical ways to implement strategies that can change your life but don't feel like such big undertakings that people shy away from even attempting them. Hopefully everyone will give these a try!
YEA! Keep this amazing work flowing - thank you, Judy! ❤
Thank you Chase - I will! And you too!!! Keep the amazing work going.
I see the plot of Dune 3 now - Dr. Judy fights off the Thought Worms! This was more than just a fantastic talk from Judy, but a group session to anyone who was lucky enough to watch or attend the talk. There are a million takeaways from this, but maybe one of the most important is that "you are inherently worthy". Thanks for giving us the time, insight, and tools Judy!
Haha! I love Sci-Fi and I love Dune, so thank you for your imagination and for putting me in the plot of Dune 3! 😊 I appreciate the kind words and hope this is helpful and healing to many people. We often question our own self-worth or worse, just believe we aren’t worthy because of past mistakes or this deep belief that can be hard to pinpoint but most likely originated from childhood experiences that planted these seeds of self-deprecation. We all have worth and this worth isn’t dependent on your actions. So often we think we must do something to deserve support and love, but knowing that we are worthy helps to transform how you think about yourself, how you relate to others, and how you go about goals.
Yes! 👏🏽👏🏽 this is what’s helping me heal through my trauma, articulated similarly in Langston Khan’s book.
What a thoughtful, well written & spoken presentation. Keep sharing your knowledge sister!
Thank you so much for sharing that this is what has helped heal your trauma. I do appreciate your thoughtful comments and I will definitely continue to share! Best to you and your self-development ❤
Incredible wisdom and delivery. I love the affirmations at the end and will be using all of them!
Thank you so much Camille for your kind feedback. So glad you’ll be using all the affirmations!
We need more Ted talks from you Judy! This was so inspiring and motivating. 💜🙏🏼
Thank you so so much for the kind words! Giving this talk was such a wonderful experience and I'd love to do more in the future if the opportunity presents itself!
Well done, Dr. Judy!! This was a fantastic talk
Thank you so much Dr. BCW! It means so much to have your positive feedback.
This women deserves more credit
Thanks for the kind words.
Most women do
Judy you’re amazing! What an exceptional talk! Congrats!
Thank you so much Leslie!! This means so much to me.
Inspiring and practical talk! Made me more aware of my negative self-talk.
So glad it made you more aware and also that it was practical for you Joel!! Thanks for watching
I love all the examples you gave about how to reparent ourselves! Thank you, thank you thank you💖
You’re so so welcome!! Reparenting can feel a bit amorphous at times so I really wanted to drive home how practical it can look!
Judy thanks for doing an excellent podcast ! I found your extremely the valuable. It's good to know the different types of attachments that influence our thoughts and behaviors. I'm going for d b t and it helps to understand where's some of my issues come from.
So great to hear that this was valuable to you! Good luck in DBT - it's a great modality for building skills for emotion regulation!!
It’s really fascinating she calls it an operating system. I learned about the Default Mode Network during my healing journey…psychedelics are at the forefront of altering that system quickly for folks.
Thanks for sharing. Very cool that you learned about the default mode network, it's a big topic of discussion among neuropsychologists and neurologists.
Congratulations on your Ted talk, Dr. Judy!
Thank you for the warm congratulations!!
Saw this live, she’s so engaging!!
Thanks so much for the kind words. So cool you were at TEDxReno this year!
Wow. This was so insightful. I really needed this. Thank you so much for this! 🙏🏽
Thank you so much for the lovely feedback and hope this is helpful!!
This is such a great talk and super helpful to better understand these attachment types. Thanks so much! Will definitely recommend to others.
Dear Helen, thanks so much for your kind words about this talk and I’m glad you find it helpful to overview attachment styles. Appreciate you recommending to others! ❤
Lovely Dr. Judy 🎉 this talk really helps 🎉 thanks for sharing 🙂 I'm definitely going to follow your grate advice 🎉
Thanks so much Teresa for sharing. I am glad it is helpful and best of luck in your self development journey.
That was absolutely fantastic. Beautifully said. Thank you
How wonderful, thanks for this kind feedback!
Amazing -I always look forward to your incredible insights. Congratulations!
Thank you Dr. Dom! I so appreciate your support and right back at you!
You are awesome! Loved meeting you at TEDx!!
Hi Jennifer!! Thanks so much for coming to TEDx and so glad you were there. Really appreciate the positive feedback!
Congratulations, Judy! This talk was so amazing!!
Thank you so much Kaya for choosing me to speak at TEDx! Was such a wonderful experience for me.
I’m 5:40 in and I like that you say “caregivers” vs “parents.” Not all of us were raised by “parents” I was raised in a cult here in the US and didn’t even have anyone to call mother or father for a few years as a small child. So when the word “parents” is used I usually either get stuck or triggered and start to glaze over and lose interest. It becomes irrelevant to me. So, so far, I appreciate the term you are using.Still watching.
Thank you so much marichiarra, for your comment about the use of caregiver language. I am sorry to hear that you were raised in a cult and what experiences you must have been through. I am glad that my use of caregiver as a term which was more inclusive to people's experiences helped with not feeling stuck or triggered, so that hopefully you were able to find the information provided more helpful and applicable to you. Thanks for watching and commenting on this very important topic.
Exactly what I needed to hear today . . . Thank you!
Thank you for the great feedback, I am so glad to hear it was helpful!
You are so inspiring😊
That is so kind Leah - thank you!!
One of the best TedTalks I’ve heard
That is truly high praise, thank you so so much.
I have reparented myself in many contexts and I would like to share that at some points I didnt have an internal reference point and needed a relational experience to create one.
What a great talk! Thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much for watching!!
Resonates with me, especially more being a parent now
Yes! Parenting brings so many revelations!
I found this so interesting and insightful. Really helped me figure out some of my negative behaviors. Lots to think about!
Thank you so much! We all talk to ourselves so we might as well make it productive and helpful 😂
Hi cousin, you are always amazing. Fascinating speech.
Thanks so much cousin! Appreciate you watching and the support!
So happy I could watch this in person! Well said 🫶🏽
Thank you Trish!! I appreciate you and so happy I got to meet you in person and see your amazing talk and beautiful music.
Fascinating and thought provoking! Thank you! ❤
Thank you so much for the kind feedback ❤❤
Judy is informative and insightful! Enjoyed this!
Thank you so much Suzy, glad you enjoyed!
Great job, Judy!
Thank you so much Bret for the opportunity to speak at TEDx!
This is great practical advice. Thank you!
Thanks James! I think it's so important to try to translate it for daily use.