My mom raised us to “always imagine the worst-case scenario and how you will deal with it”. Not surprisingly, my sibling and I both ended up as adults with severe anxiety. Emma, you made me understand that we were taught to catastrophize and I appreciate the techniques to try and deal with it. It’s incredibly helpful.
Exactly the same how I was raised. Everything minor is catastrophic in some stupid way. I need to come out of alway imagining the worst for my future, especially now where Im in a phase that is leading to a big transition in my life.
I grew up the same way. Roles were reversed with me. My mom was an optimist, my dad was a catastrophic thinker. Me being a male, I looked to my dad for answers on how to deal with things as a man. He's a great man, just severely anxious. Even though I learned a ton of great things over the years from him, I also subconsciously learned to think of the worst possible scenario all the time in any situation. All it's done is made me severely anxious and depressed to the point it's starting to affect not just myself, but the woman I love as well. And for that reason, it needs to change. I don't want to pass this extremely toxic trait down to my son our daughter when they are born. It ends here.
When I was young a few out of the blue "bad" things happened to me in succession. I came to the conclusion that if I mentally prepared myself and imagined every "bad" thing that could happen to me that day, then they would not happen. And of course, this seemed to work for a while. But then it became a habit, and now it is the way my mind works. I am now much older and I am well aware of it, but despite all the work I have done, it is still my "go to" first reaction to anything. I have coping mechanisms now and nip it in the bud, but sometimes in new circumstances it "gets a hold" before I am aware of it . ....................................... Thank you so much for another great video Emma.
This mindset can be a curse, but it also can be a blessing. Ye will prepare yourself for catastrophies. When some of those happen, ye will be ready. But it also could be true that a lot of effort might be directed into safety and security which would give the least benefits for the trouble. This would be time and a peace of mind needlessly sacrificed.
Same. My dad just left when I was little and never spoke to me again. Uncle killed himself. Grandmother was raped and murdered when I was 16. Kids father just left. Grandfather died. Another grandmother died (these were all very close together). Woke up and my husband was gone one day out of the blue (no arguments, etc) because he said being married was too expensive. Extremely bullied and harassed at work and no one would listen when I spoke up. Now covid has exacerbated everything. At this point, it’s hard to think positively.
I know your pain. When I was younger as well my mom got sick and only got worse so that along with other things I always had to prepare for the worse because it’s what needed up happening and now that she’s passed away I’m still stuck in that waiting for the worst scenario possible to occur.
I agree. It depends on the application. Say, for instance, you are multitasking at work. You are trying to prevent multiple catastrophied from happening. It requires to organize your work and tasks in such a way as to avoid failure. When there is so much on the plate, sometimes it comes to choosing what will result in a failure.
@@aichujohnson8444 Only if thought rumination is affecting your physical health you must meet your physician. Develop y0our mental muscles. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety-stress. For a relaxed life without sit on a chair, back erect, hands on lap with palms upwards, eyes closed, be still and observe your natural incoming--outgoing breath for around 10-15 minutes. Be as still as possible. Many thoughts will come which is ok--slowly negative thoughts will reduce and your mind will relax. During your daily activity keep observing your breath consciously. Do the above meditation daily to feel relaxed. For more relaxation enter the following on google search and listen before sleep repeating the affirmations in your mind. -“52Hz affirmations for health and healing you tube”. You will get relief quickly. Best wishes. Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
If you've had very significant people in your life suddenly dying on you especially through terrible accidents , you have PTSD...any of us would start to catastrophize no matter how mentally healthy we were before.
@@nataliesharaf9406 Only if thought rumination is affecting your physical health you must meet your physician. Develop y0our mental muscles. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety-stress. For a relaxed life without sit on a chair, back erect, hands on lap with palms upwards, eyes closed, be still and observe your natural incoming--outgoing breath for around 10-15 minutes. Be as still as possible. Many thoughts will come which is ok--slowly negative thoughts will reduce and your mind will relax. During your daily activity keep observing your breath consciously. Do the above meditation daily to feel relaxed. For more relaxation enter the following on google search and listen before sleep repeating the affirmations in your mind. -“52Hz affirmations for health and healing you tube”. You will get relief quickly. Best wishes. Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
MNMNT, Only if thought rumination is affecting your physical health you must meet your physician. Develop your mental muscles. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety-stress. For a relaxed life without sit on a chair, back erect, hands on lap with palms upwards, eyes closed, be still and observe your natural incoming--outgoing breath for around 10-15 minutes. Be as still as possible. Many thoughts will come which is ok--slowly negative thoughts will reduce and your mind will relax. During your daily activity keep observing your breath consciously. Do the above meditation daily to feel relaxed. For more relaxation enter the following on google search and listen before sleep repeating the affirmations in your mind. -“52Hz affirmations for health and healing you tube”. You will get relief quickly. Best wishes. Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
Thank you so much! 1:42 "Fear is never a sustainable sourcer of motivation, it always undermines us in the end." 2:10 1)Notice you're catastrophizing 2)Challenge those thoughts 3)Replace those thoughts with something more helpful. 3:30 Vulnerability: The potential for success, and also for getting hurt. 3:44 As you let go of catastrophizing, you'll come to wholeheartedly embrace life, your goals and your values. And you'll get better at living with some risk and you'll be rewarded with good things happening to you all the time.
totally agree, awareness & acceptance is only the 1st step but fear gets so deep that it becomes habit - need to put the work in over n over - even when you think your ok.
A therapist helped me see that I catastrophize and now I can catch it (although it may take me hours or a day) and to remember other times I catastrophized and the worst actually didn't happen in those past scenarios. The problem is the in between state where I have to consciously do something to calm down or snap out of it. Without drinking alcohol.
Worry pretends to be helpful, but it just causes unnecessary suffering. I love the example of how you influence things, but it can also cause you to take no action, or to avoid a situation.
Thank you so much for this. I didn't know it was possible to put words to how I've felt and acted over the last year, but this is definitely it. I realize I see the bad in every outcome, glossing over any possible good outcomes even when they are more likely to happen. I'm going to try to put your words to practice. Much appreciation
@@OlympiaSophie Only if thought rumination is affecting your physical health you must meet your physician. Develop y0our mental muscles. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety-stress. For a relaxed life without sit on a chair, back erect, hands on lap with palms upwards, eyes closed, be still and observe your natural incoming--outgoing breath for around 10-15 minutes. Be as still as possible. Many thoughts will come which is ok--slowly negative thoughts will reduce and your mind will relax. During your daily activity keep observing your breath consciously. Do the above meditation daily to feel relaxed. For more relaxation enter the following on google search and listen before sleep repeating the affirmations in your mind. -“52Hz affirmations for health and healing you tube”. You will get relief quickly. Best wishes. Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
Things like “how it should have happened” or it MUST have happened worries, makes me very agitated, just like I can hear my heart beating very fast and it all goes down, because of a single thing.All if this because of loss of control and go to the worst scenario. I will try your approaches, with noticing the thought, helpful thoughts, and what is in my control after all. Thank you for everything you post here!
This is my worst cognitive distortion. I do it all the time. It started when I was a teenager in my parents were drinking and divorcing. I do it to protect myself from negative outcomes although what it ends up doing is just making the crap I'm already going through worse. Thanks for the suggestions.
I have anxiety when I text those who I care about, they do not need to be my crush, I just expected the worst to happen regardless. So whenever I would text something full of my heart, I would try to delete it shortly afterwards because I was afraid to be vulnerable. This video helped me understand that the vulnerability of texting how I feel is what makes it real. I could just keep deleting what I'd say in the hopes of not making mistakes. But as a good friend pointed it out, I was expecting the worst to happen before I even let them see it. The thoughts of being replaceable or not worth their time, the raw feeling of low self-esteem. It all builds up folks, it is not healthy to put yourself down.
I'm worried my landlord is going to raise my rent 300/month and I'll have move back in with my mom at 35, that as a single father is my worst nightmare
Yes, definitely. I have done this in my relationship and it’s sad on my partner, I didn’t know how to comfort her because of all these things. I have always been told to expect the worst that way if it doesn’t happen you’re good, wrong because now realising I can’t stop it when it starts
IMO, this revelation is the most important part of this video - Catastrophizing serves two dysfunctional functions: 1. To protect us from uncertainty or disappointment. 2. To motivate ourselves through fear. If we observe our thoughts and make a note how much we do these 2 things, we might be able to reduce and stop catastrophizing quickly.
Good thing then that the math class examples here are for you to easily and less seriously understand the theory of the issue, so that you can then apply it to your thinking in your real life anxieties. If the first example was instantly, say, 'are you constantly scared of a nuclear fallout because you work near a power plant?' it would be a bit harder for people to apply broadly. But this way around you can start to decode that fear too. Look for the things you can and can't affect, study more about the topic of your fear, look at how the safety measures work...
I suffer from this a lot especially since I had a near death experience. I had a blood clot in my head and suffered two strokes right next to eachother. It happened during my junior year in highschool (currently a senior in highschool, it’s been 5 months since it) and I’m still recovering from it and I’m also horrified that it’s going to impact my future, because it already kinda has. I have a 504 in school that extends through college and I’m worried about my future because I don’t know how it’s going to work
The brain is always learning. The subconscious/ higher self wants full control of your body like it already does with heart/lungs ie. your subconscious wants the best for you as a human cause it always follows your heart. It’s scary to let go and flow with the subconscious because it is honest. It will bring out every mistake it needs to bring out in order to really learn what you really like and don’t like outside of conformity. If anything, you have to learn to deal with mistakes from a different perspective. Don’t punish yourself for the mistakes, remind yourself that you’re not there yet. So that if you understand that trying is the only way to know, the improvements will show you that you are getting closer.
Our brains are powerful. They have an incredible propensity to create imagined threats and problems and spend ample time thinking and overthinking about them. The amz workbook called 30 Days to Reduce Depression by Harper Daniels was cool, as was the book Stop Overthinking by Trenton.
Everyone looks down on fast food workers until they want their egg McMuffin or hot fries at midnight. No one should be looked down upon for working hard and feeding people. Without food, you die.
I have this cognitive disorder and it is a struggle when I do my annual physical. But I learn how to breath and realize that most of my thoughts are not real.
My two elder sisters both died of cancer and ever since I can’t get it out of my mind that I’m going to die of it too...Last year two nodules were found on my lung and I’m having to have scans to keep an eye on any changes that may occur with them...So now it’s even worse as I’ve kinda given myself a death sentence, which means I don’t know whether to make plans for the long term future etc...It’s got in the way of my enjoyment of life too....I just don’t know how to deal with it? 🤦♀️
Hey! you know what? go ahead make plans, enjoy your life, plan your future and don't worry abt your condition because nothings gonna happen to you, you gonna be alright and when your brain dont listen to you so then think that some stranger after a year is telling you to not worry, so then there must be a reason right? So that's why live your life to the fullest :)
My ”worst case scenarios” always include severe injuries, panic and being stuck w/o a chance to escape e.g. fear of being stuck and badly hurt in a serious car crash, fear of burning alive in my house, fear of being tied down and battered by a burglar etc etc. Not exactly the same as ”omg, I’m gonna fail my test” or ”but what if she says not to a date”. 😬 So I’m pretty much scared of everything and my solution is to say to myself ”if only I get through this - car ride, night, day etc - I’ll be able to relax. I never am though. 😑
right now I am currently thinking about if I get separated from my best friend in school that I will be lonely and sad. That I also will be stuck in a glass with toxic people and my life will be miserable. This is hard for me right now because we have been in the same class for her for 5 years and it’s bugging me for 2 months. Thank you! I needed this
This is me, I always think the worst. But I'm tired of living in fear! Fear is consuming me. And I need to get my mind in check now. My husband has been intubated 3 times so I've been living in fear, but in order to Survive this Covid-19 Pneumonia with my husband I'm going to have to change my perspective or My way of thinking or I'm not going to be the Person he needs to be. So I intend on taking the necessary steps to make that happen. Maybe looking at these videos will help. Lord please help me🙏
This happens because there is hyper-alertness and a surprise/shock process constantly running in the background. Everything seems surreal and a thought warns you of an impending explosion or disaster. The important part is that all this inside your skull, nothing of it is true outside the boundaries of your head. It is overfiring neurons and amplified signals in your circuitry. None of it is real. You probably should keep telling yourself this over and over till it sinks in at the back of your mind. That is when you will find genuine relief. The fun thing about existential panic is that there are times in the day when it stops randomly and if you keep repeating to yourself that it is all lies, the message slips through, seeps in and sticks. Once you see it stick, and your mind sees this click, recovery begins.
I'm really paranoid right now, I am having a monthly house inspection today, I failed my last inspection due to them not being specific about what conditions they wanted, basically I had too much stuf despite me trying to get rid of as much stuff as I could without just throwing it out (throwing stuff in the garbage is really wastful) Now if I fail this one I will be kicked out, I don't have the money to get a new place, I can barely afford to pay this month's rent, It doesn't help that my roommates hardly help with keeping the place clean. I'm trying to be optimistic but I keep thinking the worst
What if. That's the worst thought. Or if you make it,,, thought comes up like - I made it but what if.....something happenes tomorrow or next time.. Drives me nuts. Thanks for the tips. Ill put it on practice...
The what ifs are the Worst! What if my partner dies? I don that a lot. What if I get sick? What if we starve to death? What if I die? What if this never ends? What if what if what if what if.....UGH I'm going to try changing my answers today and tell myself some of the positive outcomes that can also occur. I believe it will help. I am an anxious optimist!!! NO , I am a calm optimist
@@TherapyinaNutshell I did indeed. You are an affective communicator with valuable content that carries substantial impact to the absorbent ear. Thank you very much. I have learned.
If you fear a health issue based on new symptoms (eg. after taking a drug that has known possible really bad side effects) it’s the fear of death or debilitation. Might be best to get tested and accept the results.
What if the worst case scenario is death of people you love ? What if you cannot take the idea out of your mind and you think about it all the time and you have that feeling of fear of loss constantly... The three steps method mentionned in the video is a perfect one for failure thoughts, but it might not be usefull for fear of loss as there is actually nothing we can do to help it...
I was scared because I was writing a story that contains sensitive issues. And that made me think, what if they will bash me because of that? What if they sue me? It's stopping me to write and delete my work
Good advice. I am wondering why school or office work is almost always used as the scenario when discussing anxiety? My guess is most the mental health professionals can best relate to the office worked and not so much the mechanic or skilled laborer. Not complaining just noticed the trend in everyone's mental health videos.
The third method wasn't good enough, at least for me. It's basically choosing positive outcomes rather than negative ones. That's exactly the problem with people like us who catastrophize. We can't.
Not positive outcomes, helpful approaches---I go into more detail in my longer form of this topic...but instead of trying "Positive" thinking (ie "Everything's going to be fine" "I'ts all going to work out perfectly") replace it with helpful thinking (ie what is in my control? What can I do about this? small steps might be helpful. What resources can I reach out to?) helpful thinking is very different than positive thinking. Helpful thinking puts the locus of control back into your influence and and helps you find a few actionable steps, whereas both positive thinking and catastrophizing put the situation out of your control or influence.
Actually I can if I can shift into calming down. This has been my challenge. Not to stay anxious and irritable, not to panic and also not to self medicate with alcohol. What helps me if I can remember to do it are those guided hypnosis or positive visualization videos. It's more entertaining and requires less discipline than transcendental meditation. Someone else describes calm and peace, or a forest path, or money coming to you for all your needs. It really helps.
It's so difficult you're right. Videos like this help a lot . Countering anything negative with something positive can change my mindset sometimes It has to become a habit. I want to do this and change starting today. I'm sick of all the thoughts I tell myself. I do it so automatically, so I'm going to have to counter it very aggressively!!!
Ugh I do this so often and therefore procrastinate on doing important things as I always think the worst. then it usually does get worse and often times are things I've could have prevented if just taken care of at the time of knowing instead of fearing the outcome. It's so hard not doing this, life really would be much easier if I just believed it was😫
Thank you for this explanation of the condition "catastrophizing"; finally found a word that sums up most of my lifetime conversations with my sister LOL... So I watched this video more for how to communicate better with her and help her see all is not hopeless and negative! For example, I think I pi$$ed her off recently because I asked her to stop criticizing our nephew who is very obese (we are not slim and trim either) . For the last ten years every time she see's our nephew at family functions she goes on and on about how much bigger he's gotten (I don't think he has) and how he's going to die young and he needs to do something about that (he has, weight loss surgery a few years ago that didn't work out in the long run unfortunately) and she becomes so stressed over having to witness his body condition that she knows is just a health disaster for him. Like i said, she's been doing this tribe for ten years, literally word for word over and over. So when this last time instead of me just going along and agreeing with her I spoke up and very calmly matter of fact told her only he can do something about it and you being stressed all over it again is not going to change anything....well that offended her and she got very defensive and proclaimed , fine I just won't bring it up again.... So then I explained look, you get so stressed when talking about this and predicting the worse outcome for him and you have enough that you already stress out about...then she says well I'm just being dramatic in the way I'm saying it...I tried to continue on but she decided to change the subject. I thoroughly understand why she's this way, we survived a very abusive and impoverished childhood and were on our own by the time we turned seventeen. I used to be this way a bit too, but not so much now. What you say about fear based motivation is so true and it was a turning point for me in my life to realize I can make decisions not based on a fearful outcome like i have been conditioned to in my early life. As you get older, learning how to really really not sweat the small stuff can lead to healthy courage to just get out there and do the things you know you want to do and let the chips fall where they may.
This is my bad habit, i always expect the worst and this make me stress and depress. And when i am stress, i have taken so wrong decisions that destroyd my life. 😢
Juliana, Develop y0our mental muscles. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety-stress. For a relaxed life without sit on a chair, back erect, hands on lap with palms upwards, eyes closed, be still and observe your natural incoming--outgoing breath for around 10-15 minutes. Be as still as possible. Many thoughts will come which is ok--slowly negative thoughts will reduce and your mind will relax. During your daily activity keep observing your breath consciously. Do the above meditation daily to feel relaxed. For more relaxation enter the following on google search and listen before sleep repeating the affirmations in your mind. -“52Hz affirmations for health and healing you tube”. You will get relief quickly. Best wishes. Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
Improve your mental health with the free course, courses.therapyinanutshell.com/grounding-skills-for-anxiety-stress-and-ptsd
"You dont have to believe everything that you think"... 👏👏👏
Spot on!
Nice one
i wanna get this one tattooed
We suffer far more in imagination than in reality
Very true 👍
@@tjfSIM no
Didnt Seneca say that?
@@r011ing_thunder6 Seneca indeed!
so true
My mom raised us to “always imagine the worst-case scenario and how you will deal with it”. Not surprisingly, my sibling and I both ended up as adults with severe anxiety. Emma, you made me understand that we were taught to catastrophize and I appreciate the techniques to try and deal with it. It’s incredibly helpful.
Exactly the same how I was raised. Everything minor is catastrophic in some stupid way. I need to come out of alway imagining the worst for my future, especially now where Im in a phase that is leading to a big transition in my life.
I wonder if that's why I have it......
I grew up the same way. Roles were reversed with me. My mom was an optimist, my dad was a catastrophic thinker. Me being a male, I looked to my dad for answers on how to deal with things as a man. He's a great man, just severely anxious. Even though I learned a ton of great things over the years from him, I also subconsciously learned to think of the worst possible scenario all the time in any situation. All it's done is made me severely anxious and depressed to the point it's starting to affect not just myself, but the woman I love as well. And for that reason, it needs to change. I don't want to pass this extremely toxic trait down to my son our daughter when they are born. It ends here.
1. Notice your thought.. Key words, situations.
2. Challenge your thoughts.
3. Replace those thoughts with something useful or positive.
If only it was as simple as that.
Wow thanks for summarizing this 4 minute video
When I was young a few out of the blue "bad" things happened to me in succession. I came to the conclusion that if I mentally prepared myself and imagined every "bad" thing that could happen to me that day, then they would not happen. And of course, this seemed to work for a while. But then it became a habit, and now it is the way my mind works. I am now much older and I am well aware of it, but despite all the work I have done, it is still my "go to" first reaction to anything. I have coping mechanisms now and nip it in the bud, but sometimes in new circumstances it "gets a hold" before I am aware of it . ....................................... Thank you so much for another great video Emma.
This mindset can be a curse, but it also can be a blessing. Ye will prepare yourself for catastrophies. When some of those happen, ye will be ready. But it also could be true that a lot of effort might be directed into safety and security which would give the least benefits for the trouble. This would be time and a peace of mind needlessly sacrificed.
Same here dude
Same. My dad just left when I was little and never spoke to me again. Uncle killed himself. Grandmother was raped and murdered when I was 16. Kids father just left. Grandfather died. Another grandmother died (these were all very close together). Woke up and my husband was gone one day out of the blue (no arguments, etc) because he said being married was too expensive. Extremely bullied and harassed at work and no one would listen when I spoke up. Now covid has exacerbated everything. At this point, it’s hard to think positively.
I know your pain. When I was younger as well my mom got sick and only got worse so that along with other things I always had to prepare for the worse because it’s what needed up happening and now that she’s passed away I’m still stuck in that waiting for the worst scenario possible to occur.
@@toonpacha2396 I changed my mind set by watching lots of positive mind videos and also, read Eckhart Tolle "The power of Now".
Passing a test is the least of my problems right now lmao
😢
I agree. It depends on the application. Say, for instance, you are multitasking at work. You are trying to prevent multiple catastrophied from happening. It requires to organize your work and tasks in such a way as to avoid failure.
When there is so much on the plate, sometimes it comes to choosing what will result in a failure.
... and sometimes it is really difficult to choose your failure. Decision fatigue can wreak havoc on one's mind.
@@aichujohnson8444 Only if thought rumination is affecting your physical health you must meet your physician. Develop y0our mental muscles. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety-stress. For a relaxed life without sit on a chair, back erect, hands on lap with palms upwards, eyes closed, be still and observe your natural incoming--outgoing breath for around 10-15 minutes. Be as still as possible. Many thoughts will come which is ok--slowly negative thoughts will reduce and your mind will relax. During your daily activity keep observing your breath consciously. Do the above meditation daily to feel relaxed. For more relaxation enter the following on google search and listen before sleep repeating the affirmations in your mind. -“52Hz affirmations for health and healing you tube”. You will get relief quickly. Best wishes. Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
I know! I wish she would address more serious issues
If you've had very significant people in your life suddenly dying on you especially through terrible accidents , you have PTSD...any of us would start to catastrophize no matter how mentally healthy we were before.
"You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind"
True..
@@nataliesharaf9406 Only if thought rumination is affecting your physical health you must meet your physician. Develop y0our mental muscles. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety-stress. For a relaxed life without sit on a chair, back erect, hands on lap with palms upwards, eyes closed, be still and observe your natural incoming--outgoing breath for around 10-15 minutes. Be as still as possible. Many thoughts will come which is ok--slowly negative thoughts will reduce and your mind will relax. During your daily activity keep observing your breath consciously. Do the above meditation daily to feel relaxed. For more relaxation enter the following on google search and listen before sleep repeating the affirmations in your mind. -“52Hz affirmations for health and healing you tube”. You will get relief quickly. Best wishes. Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
MNMNT, Only if thought rumination is affecting your physical health you must meet your physician. Develop your mental muscles. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety-stress. For a relaxed life without sit on a chair, back erect, hands on lap with palms upwards, eyes closed, be still and observe your natural incoming--outgoing breath for around 10-15 minutes. Be as still as possible. Many thoughts will come which is ok--slowly negative thoughts will reduce and your mind will relax. During your daily activity keep observing your breath consciously. Do the above meditation daily to feel relaxed. For more relaxation enter the following on google search and listen before sleep repeating the affirmations in your mind. -“52Hz affirmations for health and healing you tube”. You will get relief quickly. Best wishes. Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
Yet this has never been proven
Thank you so much!
1:42 "Fear is never a sustainable sourcer of motivation, it always undermines us in the end."
2:10
1)Notice you're catastrophizing
2)Challenge those thoughts
3)Replace those thoughts with something more helpful.
3:30 Vulnerability: The potential for success, and also for getting hurt.
3:44 As you let go of catastrophizing, you'll come to wholeheartedly embrace life, your goals and your values. And you'll get better at living with some risk and you'll be rewarded with good things happening to you all the time.
Just remember. To change your way of thinking requires work, or engagement. So put in the hours!
totally agree, awareness & acceptance is only the 1st step but fear gets so deep that it becomes habit - need to put the work in over n over - even when you think your ok.
Thank you so much I almost killed myself because of this I kept on thinking for 2 months and I found this and it saved me, God bless.
I’m so happy your here typing this right now. Hopefully I can get better too :)
💖💖💖
Love❤️
Better to be an optimistic that is wrong occasionally, than a pessimist who is right always.
Emma, your short you tube clips are SO helpful! Many thanks 🤗
Awesome, glad you liked it!
It not working
I’m so wo4rry
A therapist helped me see that I catastrophize and now I can catch it (although it may take me hours or a day) and to remember other times I catastrophized and the worst actually didn't happen in those past scenarios. The problem is the in between state where I have to consciously do something to calm down or snap out of it. Without drinking alcohol.
making progress!
Worry pretends to be helpful, but it just causes unnecessary suffering. I love the example of how you influence things, but it can also cause you to take no action, or to avoid a situation.
Thank you so much for this. I didn't know it was possible to put words to how I've felt and acted over the last year, but this is definitely it. I realize I see the bad in every outcome, glossing over any possible good outcomes even when they are more likely to happen. I'm going to try to put your words to practice. Much appreciation
You have just about changed my life. Thank you so much I’ve been watching your videos and I’m feeling soooo much relief. God bless you ✨🙏🏾😇
So amazing when we start to realise if serves us to no end all this worrying and what if....
@@OlympiaSophie Only if thought rumination is affecting your physical health you must meet your physician. Develop y0our mental muscles. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety-stress. For a relaxed life without sit on a chair, back erect, hands on lap with palms upwards, eyes closed, be still and observe your natural incoming--outgoing breath for around 10-15 minutes. Be as still as possible. Many thoughts will come which is ok--slowly negative thoughts will reduce and your mind will relax. During your daily activity keep observing your breath consciously. Do the above meditation daily to feel relaxed. For more relaxation enter the following on google search and listen before sleep repeating the affirmations in your mind. -“52Hz affirmations for health and healing you tube”. You will get relief quickly. Best wishes. Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
Things like “how it should have happened” or it MUST have happened worries, makes me very agitated, just like I can hear my heart beating very fast and it all goes down, because of a single thing.All if this because of loss of control and go to the worst scenario. I will try your approaches, with noticing the thought, helpful thoughts, and what is in my control after all. Thank you for everything you post here!
Give this Woman an Award🏆
I tend to catastrophize often. This video was very helpful in planning how to counteract it, and understanding why it isn't helpful.
Thanks! I’m a student that always thinks like this. I’m just afraid of disappointing my parents. This helped me a lot!!
This one has been extremely helpful. Listening to it over and over. It is definitely me in a nutshell.
thanks!
Thank u. I just started law school in a completely new place and am literally catastrophizing everything so this really helped.
I have been thinking about me dying and not spending enough time with my family Thank you for making this video
Same but I think that I have imagineng my close friends
This is my worst cognitive distortion. I do it all the time. It started when I was a teenager in my parents were drinking and divorcing. I do it to protect myself from negative outcomes although what it ends up doing is just making the crap I'm already going through worse. Thanks for the suggestions.
Thank you so much for such helpful techniques. I struggle with anxiety & panic so badly.
Marcie- I understand it's so hard. Yet its amazing when we start to realise if serves us to no end all this worrying and what if....
I have anxiety when I text those who I care about, they do not need to be my crush, I just expected the worst to happen regardless. So whenever I would text something full of my heart, I would try to delete it shortly afterwards because I was afraid to be vulnerable.
This video helped me understand that the vulnerability of texting how I feel is what makes it real. I could just keep deleting what I'd say in the hopes of not making mistakes. But as a good friend pointed it out, I was expecting the worst to happen before I even let them see it.
The thoughts of being replaceable or not worth their time, the raw feeling of low self-esteem. It all builds up folks, it is not healthy to put yourself down.
It’s really difficult for me to tell if I’m catastrophizing or if I really am in a bad situation and the anxiety is justified.
I'm worried my landlord is going to raise my rent 300/month and I'll have move back in with my mom at 35, that as a single father is my worst nightmare
I do this a LOT. Here to try to find out how to stop it.
Yes, definitely. I have done this in my relationship and it’s sad on my partner, I didn’t know how to comfort her because of all these things. I have always been told to expect the worst that way if it doesn’t happen you’re good, wrong because now realising I can’t stop it when it starts
IMO, this revelation is the most important part of this video -
Catastrophizing serves two dysfunctional functions:
1. To protect us from uncertainty or disappointment.
2. To motivate ourselves through fear.
If we observe our thoughts and make a note how much we do these 2 things, we might be able to reduce and stop catastrophizing quickly.
the living with some risk bit, really hit home. dang.
its so nice to find a word for it...
Amazing. I came across this channel today and your videos are helpful. Thanks
Pavan- It really is so amazing when we start to realise if serves us to no end all this worrying and what if....
Love you Chica! You’re helping me through this hard life so much!
I always had this kinda thoughts since my 8th grade and I'm facing this without even knowing what I was dealing with
I catastrophize but over more serious stuff than a test at school or a work situation.
Yes me too
Good thing then that the math class examples here are for you to easily and less seriously understand the theory of the issue, so that you can then apply it to your thinking in your real life anxieties. If the first example was instantly, say, 'are you constantly scared of a nuclear fallout because you work near a power plant?' it would be a bit harder for people to apply broadly. But this way around you can start to decode that fear too. Look for the things you can and can't affect, study more about the topic of your fear, look at how the safety measures work...
Same im catastrophizing about things that could possibly change my life negatively. My family, friends, and relatives will be so disappointed in me.
I suffer from this a lot especially since I had a near death experience. I had a blood clot in my head and suffered two strokes right next to eachother. It happened during my junior year in highschool (currently a senior in highschool, it’s been 5 months since it) and I’m still recovering from it and I’m also horrified that it’s going to impact my future, because it already kinda has. I have a 504 in school that extends through college and I’m worried about my future because I don’t know how it’s going to work
The brain is always learning. The subconscious/ higher self wants full control of your body like it already does with heart/lungs ie. your subconscious wants the best for you as a human cause it always follows your heart. It’s scary to let go and flow with the subconscious because it is honest. It will bring out every mistake it needs to bring out in order to really learn what you really like and don’t like outside of conformity. If anything, you have to learn to deal with mistakes from a different perspective. Don’t punish yourself for the mistakes, remind yourself that you’re not there yet. So that if you understand that trying is the only way to know, the improvements will show you that you are getting closer.
Our brains are powerful. They have an incredible propensity to create imagined threats and problems and spend ample time thinking and overthinking about them. The amz workbook called 30 Days to Reduce Depression by Harper Daniels was cool, as was the book Stop Overthinking by Trenton.
Everyone looks down on fast food workers until they want their egg McMuffin or hot fries at midnight. No one should be looked down upon for working hard and feeding people. Without food, you die.
Emma, I just love you for making your amazing, helpful videos. Thank you from teh bottom of my heart!
I have this cognitive disorder and it is a struggle when I do my annual physical. But I learn how to breath and realize that most of my thoughts are not real.
My two elder sisters both died of cancer and ever since I can’t get it out of my mind that I’m going to die of it too...Last year two nodules were found on my lung and I’m having to have scans to keep an eye on any changes that may occur with them...So now it’s even worse as I’ve kinda given myself a death sentence, which means I don’t know whether to make plans for the long term future etc...It’s got in the way of my enjoyment of life too....I just don’t know how to deal with it? 🤦♀️
Hey! you know what? go ahead make plans, enjoy your life, plan your future and don't worry abt your condition because nothings gonna happen to you, you gonna be alright and when your brain dont listen to you so then think that some stranger after a year is telling you to not worry, so then there must be a reason right? So that's why live your life to the fullest :)
Hey you doing good?
Hey what happened? 🥺
My ”worst case scenarios” always include severe injuries, panic and being stuck w/o a chance to escape e.g. fear of being stuck and badly hurt in a serious car crash, fear of burning alive in my house, fear of being tied down and battered by a burglar etc etc. Not exactly the same as ”omg, I’m gonna fail my test” or ”but what if she says not to a date”. 😬 So I’m pretty much scared of everything and my solution is to say to myself ”if only I get through this - car ride, night, day etc - I’ll be able to relax. I never am though. 😑
Same
My best friend die so my anxiety get worst
This is me. Did you found a way out
@@iinferuslunitaa3169 I’m far from out of it yet, but for me ECT and medication (benzo) have worked the best so far.
On and off , this has been my life for the last 60 years.
right now I am currently thinking about if I get separated from my best friend in school that I will be lonely and sad. That I also will be stuck in a glass with toxic people and my life will be miserable. This is hard for me right now because we have been in the same class for her for 5 years and it’s bugging me for 2 months. Thank you! I needed this
This is me, I always think the worst. But I'm tired of living in fear! Fear is consuming me. And I need to get my mind in check now. My husband has been intubated 3 times so I've been living in fear, but in order to Survive this Covid-19 Pneumonia with my husband I'm going to have to change my perspective or My way of thinking or I'm not going to be the Person he needs to be. So I intend on taking the necessary steps to make that happen. Maybe looking at these videos will help. Lord please help me🙏
Great advice, Emma. Thank you!! Love your channel. 👍
This lady has helped me so much. She's also beautiful x
Thank you so much for this. This is going to definitely end the torture for me.
Life changing
Emma- you are so right its serves us to no end!
I do this all the time! Thanks for the excellent video.
Thank you. I am terrible for doing this
The reason I catastrophize is because I have deja vu everyday. Like chronic deja vu and I fear something very very bad is gonna happen
This happens because there is hyper-alertness and a surprise/shock process constantly running in the background. Everything seems surreal and a thought warns you of an impending explosion or disaster. The important part is that all this inside your skull, nothing of it is true outside the boundaries of your head. It is overfiring neurons and amplified signals in your circuitry. None of it is real. You probably should keep telling yourself this over and over till it sinks in at the back of your mind. That is when you will find genuine relief. The fun thing about existential panic is that there are times in the day when it stops randomly and if you keep repeating to yourself that it is all lies, the message slips through, seeps in and sticks. Once you see it stick, and your mind sees this click, recovery begins.
I just know this yesterday and I have it.
Catastrophising, generalizing, personalizing... all the normal responses when overwhelmed
I'm really paranoid right now,
I am having a monthly house inspection today,
I failed my last inspection due to them not being specific about what conditions they wanted, basically I had too much stuf despite me trying to get rid of as much stuff as I could without just throwing it out (throwing stuff in the garbage is really wastful)
Now if I fail this one I will be kicked out, I don't have the money to get a new place,
I can barely afford to pay this month's rent,
It doesn't help that my roommates hardly help with keeping the place clean.
I'm trying to be optimistic but I keep thinking the worst
Thank you so much 🌹💐
I’m worrying about everything every day
Hey I just noticed the books on the bottom shelf! lol a fellow member!
What if.
That's the worst thought.
Or if you make it,,, thought comes up like - I made it but what if.....something happenes tomorrow or next time..
Drives me nuts.
Thanks for the tips.
Ill put it on practice...
Yessss...the "what ifs" get me all the time😭
Sorry. 11 years now living with fear, eating benzos every day... I wish I found a way out and could help..
The what ifs are the Worst! What if my partner dies? I don that a lot. What if I get sick? What if we starve to death?
What if I die? What if this never ends? What if what if what if what if.....UGH I'm going to try changing my answers today and tell myself some of the positive outcomes that can also occur. I believe it will help. I am an anxious optimist!!! NO , I am a calm optimist
Thank you for helping me understand
Glad you found it helpful!
@@TherapyinaNutshell I did indeed. You are an affective communicator with valuable content that carries substantial impact to the absorbent ear. Thank you very much. I have learned.
Therapy mantra also provides the best therapy sessions
Thank you for this I needed
Thank you so much for this video and very valuable advice and lessons.... 🙏
Thank you for the reasons
You speak to accurately about things o_O
If you fear a health issue based on new symptoms (eg. after taking a drug that has known possible really bad side effects) it’s the fear of death or debilitation. Might be best to get tested and accept the results.
Excellent content. Thank you for this.
I catastrophize....I've convinced myself if I expect worst it wont happen.😪
Me too
What if the worst case scenario is death of people you love ? What if you cannot take the idea out of your mind and you think about it all the time and you have that feeling of fear of loss constantly...
The three steps method mentionned in the video is a perfect one for failure thoughts, but it might not be usefull for fear of loss as there is actually nothing we can do to help it...
Yeah , I have that one a lot too! For me, it's probably wondering how I will bear the pain, or survive without them........
but I am sure I will......
Thanks for these. Very much.
Expecting the worst has been used to alleviate anxiety.
I always expected the worst and it happened but when I didn’t the outcome was better or it still happened anyway. Cannot win I feel.
I was scared because I was writing a story that contains sensitive issues. And that made me think, what if they will bash me because of that? What if they sue me? It's stopping me to write and delete my work
It's very helpful, Thank you !
You are a blessing!
Good advice. I am wondering why school or office work is almost always used as the scenario when discussing anxiety? My guess is most the mental health professionals can best relate to the office worked and not so much the mechanic or skilled laborer. Not complaining just noticed the trend in everyone's mental health videos.
This is very true
If you stop expecting the worst, when the worst happens, it will be worse, than if you expected the worst in the first place!
Glad I could help! 🤣
Thank you, this is good!
Gave me a whole new perspective . Thank u :)
For the first in two years i will go to school in person and im feeling very anxious about and im having a lot of negative thoughts
Thanks so much this is so great and helpful.
The third method wasn't good enough, at least for me. It's basically choosing positive outcomes rather than negative ones. That's exactly the problem with people like us who catastrophize. We can't.
Not positive outcomes, helpful approaches---I go into more detail in my longer form of this topic...but instead of trying "Positive" thinking (ie "Everything's going to be fine" "I'ts all going to work out perfectly") replace it with helpful thinking (ie what is in my control? What can I do about this? small steps might be helpful. What resources can I reach out to?) helpful thinking is very different than positive thinking. Helpful thinking puts the locus of control back into your influence and and helps you find a few actionable steps, whereas both positive thinking and catastrophizing put the situation out of your control or influence.
Actually I can if I can shift into calming down. This has been my challenge. Not to stay anxious and irritable, not to panic and also not to self medicate with alcohol. What helps me if I can remember to do it are those guided hypnosis or positive visualization videos. It's more entertaining and requires less discipline than transcendental meditation. Someone else describes calm and peace, or a forest path, or money coming to you for all your needs. It really helps.
@@TherapyinaNutshell yeah I really try to talk myself into that place. What can I do, what can I control. Then if I do my best I have to let it go.
It's so difficult you're right. Videos like this help a lot . Countering anything negative with something positive can change my mindset sometimes It has to become a habit. I want to do this and change starting today. I'm sick of all the thoughts I tell myself. I do it so automatically, so I'm going to have to counter it very aggressively!!!
Ugh I do this so often and therefore procrastinate on doing important things as I always think the worst. then it usually does get worse and often times are things I've could have prevented if just taken care of at the time of knowing instead of fearing the outcome. It's so hard not doing this, life really would be much easier if I just believed it was😫
Thank you for this explanation of the condition "catastrophizing"; finally found a word that sums up most of my lifetime conversations with my sister LOL... So I watched this video more for how to communicate better with her and help her see all is not hopeless and negative!
For example, I think I pi$$ed her off recently because I asked her to stop criticizing our nephew who is very obese (we are not slim and trim either) . For the last ten years every time she see's our nephew at family functions she goes on and on about how much bigger he's gotten (I don't think he has) and how he's going to die young and he needs to do something about that (he has, weight loss surgery a few years ago that didn't work out in the long run unfortunately) and she becomes so stressed over having to witness his body condition that she knows is just a health disaster for him. Like i said, she's been doing this tribe for ten years, literally word for word over and over.
So when this last time instead of me just going along and agreeing with her I spoke up and very calmly matter of fact told her only he can do something about it and you being stressed all over it again is not going to change anything....well that offended her and she got very defensive and proclaimed , fine I just won't bring it up again.... So then I explained look, you get so stressed when talking about this and predicting the worse outcome for him and you have enough that you already stress out about...then she says well I'm just being dramatic in the way I'm saying it...I tried to continue on but she decided to change the subject.
I thoroughly understand why she's this way, we survived a very abusive and impoverished childhood and were on our own by the time we turned seventeen. I used to be this way a bit too, but not so much now. What you say about fear based motivation is so true and it was a turning point for me in my life to realize I can make decisions not based on a fearful outcome like i have been conditioned to in my early life. As you get older, learning how to really really not sweat the small stuff can lead to healthy courage to just get out there and do the things you know you want to do and let the chips fall where they may.
This is my bad habit, i always expect the worst and this make me stress and depress. And when i am stress, i have taken so wrong decisions that destroyd my life. 😢
The Example remind me Dale Carneagie's: ,,How to stop sorry and stop living" book. You can listen here in youtube.
How do you know exactly what is in my head? You offer excellent information.
Applying these techniques is still difficult and extremely consuming. Usually you won't even remember those tips.
Spot on!
Prepare your self for the worse hope for the best🤷🏼♂️
Learning a lot from your videos.
Neat video. Thank you.
Youvre made my day
Helen- Really so amazing when we start to realise if serves us to no end all this worrying and what if....
HI Emma, do you have a video explaining severe anxiety sypmtoms like derealisation or intrusive thoughts? Thank you!
Juliana, Develop y0our mental muscles. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety-stress. For a relaxed life without sit on a chair, back erect, hands on lap with palms upwards, eyes closed, be still and observe your natural incoming--outgoing breath for around 10-15 minutes. Be as still as possible. Many thoughts will come which is ok--slowly negative thoughts will reduce and your mind will relax. During your daily activity keep observing your breath consciously. Do the above meditation daily to feel relaxed. For more relaxation enter the following on google search and listen before sleep repeating the affirmations in your mind. -“52Hz affirmations for health and healing you tube”. You will get relief quickly. Best wishes. Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.