Ep. 56 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 6 фев 2025
- Become a paid channel member of YMH to experience an AD-FREE version of the show here : / @ymhstudios
SPONSORS:
Get an extra three months of ExpressVPN for free at ExpressVPN.com...
Go to Whoop.com and enter “BEARS” at checkout to save 15%
Get 20% off your order at BuyRaycon.com/...!
Go to Vuori.com/BEARS and get 20% off your first purchase plus free shipping on U.S. orders over $75
Get 20% off your first order when you use promo code BEARS at BubsNaturals.com.
Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer start off this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave by revisiting their new favorite thing on the internet: PLASTT. They also discuss Dr. Drew's new reputation, the birthday present Tom got Bert, peptides, times Bert has gotten hurt, their experience at 2 Bears, 1 Bowl, and what their next challenge will be.
yourmomshousepo...
store.ymhstudi...
/ yourmomshousepodcast
/ yourmomshousepodcast
Love when Tom comes with energy and starts interrupting Bert
He’s probably getting use to talking when Bert is gone so he’s like fuck it I’m talking more. Lol.
Bert being dead was good for us and Tom . that live show was cool too seeing somewhat real side of tom
Really hope Bert watches this comment
Dude tom interrupted him more than 6 times and kept him quiet while finishing several sentences! Love the energy tom. Love bert too hes kinda a big kid I think cause he grew up too fast definitely has a.d.d. its not that uncommon.
And when Bert says something silly or wrong, and the camera switches to Tom, looking straight at the camera... LOL you guys are hilarious
The way Bert pronounces "drowning" is a goddamn nightmeer.
I think he was melking it.
Ahhhhundred percent
Drownding is a new low
It's murica....any time I hear an American say "are's" instead of "our's" just seriously wtf
After seeing this, tonight I'm going to have nightmeres that I'm drownding.
I love bert, but I get this annoyance/anger from my gut. How is he so confident when he’s saying things completely wrong. It’s not even like an accent or dialect that says words differently. It’s just wrong
Drownding is what’s happening to his liver from all the liquor
@@Vladkhanthehun hes free spirited man
Ben Affleck will rescue you
It's drownedd
Bert: "Nobody plans for tragedy."
Tom: "Yeah, but you should."
this describes the two of them perfectly lol
Because he's the one creating it 😉
*breaks half of his body*
That aged well considering toms injury is soon to come
I saw Bert in Texas a few years ago, he had everyone in the audience throw whatever money they wanted into a bucket then drew a name of a waiter/waitress. It ended up being a single mom going to college, a great night.
It was a couple thousand*
it is a fun bit + waitstaff gets a great bonus = top marks
Bart is a grown man with 9 children stuck inside him, all trying to tell a story at the same time.
That explains the gut.
Honestly a lot of people are like that. It's a funny way to put it but totally true.
What!?! Bert is inside 9 children? Call the cops
9 puppies stuck inside him
he needs his own version of split
I love those moments when Burt is saying something stupid and Tom just stops and looks at the camera.
Someone should make a compilation of all the Tom cuts from these episodes
@@majesticctrees yeah and with just the last sentence of whatever Bert had said before each cut to Tom would be so funny😂😂
The dwight/ Jim dynamic
So you love like 95% of the show
Why does Bert keep sitting in for Sickler? Is Sickler okay?
I'd kill for a regular Tom/ Sickler podcast
Bobby Lee was busy 🤣🤣
Nah Tim Dillon and Tom and name it " Spilling the T"
I enjoyed that Ryan and Tom podcast wayyy too much those two could talk for 5 hours about anything and make it funny. Natural funny guys always have that smooth energy to them
@@ToastyJones kill? It's a podcast my dude. Definitely not following proto
The foreshadowing in this episode is intense. "Whats Dilaudid?" - pre-broken Tom
and brent talking about the only using one arm challenge
Hes always asking what heroin feels like but its the same as all the other painkillers so he knows
@@sthomasond honestly pain pills are more euphoric (smoked or snorted anyway, I've never shot up lmao) than heroin so they've probably got a better imagination of how heroin feels than how it actually does 😂 "20mg Tom" should be about percocets hahaha he'd be lovin life
*After his broken bones* “Then they gave me dilauded and that was.. NICE!” 😂 I loved that shit when I was in the hospital from a motorcycle accident
The writers really did a great job with the storyline
Does anyone else notice how bert has a story for literally everything Tom brings up except it's always more wild. Ultimate 1 upper 👆
Yes, I was mad after he Tom was saying the Rattlesnake bite story & before he could even tell us if the guy survived or not he interrupts and starts telling some story about his self. He’s a self centered narcissist & I use to be a big fan of his
"There is no greater feeling than killing the enemy" Topp Dogg
I threw grenades into bunkers.
Tom looking to the audience like Jim in The Office is gold
I want to make an Instagram account with all the screenshots from when he does it 😂
@@Ramboskates85 That would be AMAZING.
Asking Bert to hold his thought is like asking the roach to do a pull up
or like asking Bert to do a pull up
mmarlaire give him a bottle of wine and he could probably do it
@@mathieumarlaire idk he's surprisingly athletic. He would probably surprise us all and do 15 no problem
@@vcalv9354 No dude you literally lift up your entire weight theres no way he can do 15 let alone 2.
@@vcalv9354 He can't even sprint.
Tom's face when Bert is about to say something controvercial is priceless
Can’t wait for Bert to start bragging about how much he’s exercising on his E bike
Hes gonna be the best E Bike rider ever!
Wish a Camelback full of wine
He's gonna be "riding it everyday" and still gain weight lol
“Dude I did 15 miles this morning AND got 7 hours sleep like my whoop told me to!”
Todd: "So you turned 56"
Bart: "48"
Todd:"48.. sorry 48" *smirk at camera*
Love it
who's todd?
@@pinkyizthebrain2397 : Todd is the guy on the left, sitting across from Brent on the right.
@@VideoNozoki yeah the guy married to that blonde comedian, Carol Pakistani
"Owl's are my totem"
Really appropriate since owls are of course associated with binge drinking and narcissism.
LMAOO
Also high school girls
I thought that was goats. Goats and dionysus are symbols plastered all over turn of the century bars, bottles, and cupboards.
I've only seen owls wearing glasses and a graduation cap.
Don't forget that most owls are pretty racist!
When Bert lost Will Smith in the woods, he should have just looked for fresh prints.
🤦♂️
😆
🤴🏾
Amazing joke.
Oh hey Myq Kaplan's audience member
Bert is the perfect example of a guy who only listens for his turn to speak
Burnt asking Tim when his birthday is and Tom answering unprompted is a friendship I strive for
I would love to see a video of Tom and Bart riding around on their bikes with Tom screaming “BIKES!”
STOP selling drugs!!
“I have no idea what peptides are” - goes on to explain, accurately, every fine detail about peptides
It was pretty astonishing
Is Tom purposefully interrupting Bert as much as he can lol
hopefully.
It’s refreshing and I’m on board with this being the new dynamic.
I think it's both that, and the fact Bert's energy drops are getting rather common. If he wasn't talking he definitely would've passed out more than a few times
Has Bert ever done the broken back story as a bit ? He's clearly still traumatised by it but there's gold in there !
Agreed.
Traumatized
@@ultranitro437 In the UK it's spelled traumatise (British English).
In the US it's spelled traumatize (American English).
I’ve heard it before, but it might have been on another podcast
What's the timestamp for that?
Bert almost passing out is actually a big red flag. No joke
It may be alcoholic cardiomyopathy
Hmmm Dr Justin Mason excellent diagnosis
He's going to have that happen while he's driving or doing something like that and seriously hurt him or other people. It's no bueno
He almost passed out in the last episode too. Yikes.
😥
Are we going to ignore the fact that Bert almost dies every time he laughs, if so that's cool, I just wanna make sure we in this together
I think its hilarious!
I think the community has decided to play a passive hand in this and just spectate his end.
The last video before this I swear he was going to pass out.
🤣🤣🤣
He should start dressing up like chris farley as da bears superfan.
Idk man, these “I almost passed out” moments are kind of really worrisome.
It's a bit
@@RolandSpecialSauce i hope so.
@@RolandSpecialSauce except for the time a few episodes back where he totally lost track of the words he was saying and was fading and nodding off with open eyes before catching himself as he was leaning back pretty vacant.
I can see it being a “”bit”” but I can also see it being a chronic health issue too if it’s become so often as to make itself a “bit”. Hopefully he’s alright and he is just joking about it all.
We can only hope
@@RolandSpecialSauce it’s not a bit
Bert, do you realize how serious it is that you're almost passing out all the time? LMFAO 😂😂😂😂😂
He's fine! He's got that Mickey Mantle gene, so he's perfectly aware of the liver disease coming his way. Don't forget about the heart issues.
Maybe it's the prosecco talking, but Tom and Bert's friendship makes me want to happy cry ❤
I feel like not drinking when I see Bert. How do you push through?
@@jamesmay6674 I'm practically an alcoholic like Bert so the prosecco is pretty much always talking 😂
I was at the indy show way in the back watching the screen because we were so far away. You coming around on the cart made my night
No better way to start the week than listening to your favorite comedian while Burp Chlamydia interrupts him.
It's actually starting to make me cringe after he was gone for abit, the sickler episode was sooo much better
@@joepratt9039 sickle cell is the man
7 mins in and 7 different topics and none of them were finished.. lmao
I find that super annoying. It’s like not finishing an ok book.
@Wayne Gale classic Burt
Bert almost breaks his back. "That was a close call"
Also bert *takes valium, dilaudid, oxy, and starts drinking*
@iostboy forgot he was from Florida, it all makes sense now lol
Sounds like a good time lmao
Here's the full clip of that *crazy zipline BASE jump video* at 7:34 -- ruclips.net/video/F723rIlW_No/видео.html
Tom’s looks to camera are the best 😂
i work 4 12 hour overnight shifts turs-sunday and i get 3 days off starting monday morning.. i get home, crack a beer, and this podcast is usually about 30 minutes old. Actual gold. Couldnt ask for anything better
Crack another cold one for the bois
"I was walking to my kitchen and I came" omg I love when Tom interrupts Bert😭😂😭😂😭😂😭😂
"I've been almost passing put alot" LMFAO Bert is a maniac
dude is on the brink of dead constantly, wild
Just so casual when saying it too 😂😂
I can’t believe everytime that happens tom doesn’t bring it up.
@Texans Tackle gross...dont watch if you bring that energy around
I think they are both aware of why that is happening so that’s why they are not panicking. Otherwise, Tom would bring it up.
I like how bret calls brain freeze a "cold headache"🤣
"He knows me so much better than you do!" Jesus that is funny as shit! Whoever is laughing in the background is so funny too. Makes me laugh my ass off everytime!
Nobody in the history of Earth:
Brent Khrysanthemums: Drownding
Brent?
@@imthegrk yeah dude lol, Brent in place of Bert
bert is literally homer simpson
Are we bad people if we don’t acknowledge that Bert has had a stroke back to back episodes?
We should only worry if he gets past 4 strokes
I’m only watching for the chance to see him die on camera.
It's probably a sudden loss of blood pressure causing it. Obviously not great, but hey it's better than a heart attack
Nope!
@@BoxofRoxRacing 😁😁😁🖒🖒🖒
Bert "Just pissed in the bed...and started crying again" Kreischer
Every disease is based on the Germ Theory, which was the theory of ONE man over 100 years ago. It was never proven to be 100% valid, and has not even been QUESTIONED again. Why? In order for a theory to be valid, it must be reproduceable in each and every person 100% of the time. Every single person exposed to a "virus" MUST get sick from it 100% of the time, over and over again. It's how you PROVE a theory is valid. This was never done. Scientists used to think witches and witchcraft were valid!! Educated people?? hahaha!! If you cannot "catch" cancer, arthritis or diabetes from another person, then you cannot "catch" a cold or flu. There is no such thing that only SOME diseases are communicable, but not all. It's either all or none of them...they are all based on the same Germ Theory. If you can't "catch" someone's lung cancer, you can't "catch" their colds or flu. Upsetting and distressing events in a person's life is what cause ALL cancer and cancer-equivalent disease, cold, flu, pneumonia, bronchitis, etc. A massive fear campaign will CAUSE people to be "worried sick", but sickness doesn't happen until people resolve their fears. Why do you think kids get sick in October? Because their fear of going back to school and being upset about it finally dissolves, and they get back into their routines. What the media and government is doing to people is criminal. Western Medicine is pure fraud. I can't be the only person in this disgustingly brainwashed world who knows about German New Medicine.
@@questioneverything7582 what
Imagine going through that though
@@phalspar This person seems to think germs don't exist. Seems like a bot cos of the completely unrelated comment.
@@questioneverything7582 have you ever heard of an immune system?
‘I also HAVE Not played any basketball’
“We should do something stupid”
The Universe: you all just wait
I just imagine Tom sending Bert to space for his 50th Bday gift
Can we get some “You know he’s fat right?” Shirts with Berts face on it?!
This ☝️
Leeann is a true savage
Should be Leanne's face
@@mjsudela you right :)
Why is that not a tshirt yet...
‘ dr drew f.. bitches like crazy” this would spread the word faster
I wanted to thumbs-up this, but it’s at 69 right now. Seems sorta sacrilege
You cant spread the word about something everyone knows
"Dr. Drew Fucks"
"Great more riddles"
one of the best pods y’all have dropped in a minute 💸💯 hope harrison nevel is having a good day
Its a trip watching Tom ask Bert what diladid is, only a few weeks before Tom has it prescribed to him for his injuries. Hope the recovery is going well. Stay strong big dawg
Two months without Rogan and they're already planning milkshake drinking competitions.
is that a good thing?
@@kattysofatty6381 fattening. Not good.
@@kattysofatty6381 *whoosh*
@@GREVIEWS02 problem
"People who suffer from Korsakoff's syndrome, a dementia that results from alcohol abuse, produce fake memories of events that never took place, known as confabulations."
"We Are Our Brains" - Dick Swaab
Never trust anyone named dick swaab
@@gregoryturner9530 Facts
Did someone forget that he is one of the greatest story teller ever!
It actually stems from alcohol withdrawal
@@Nhlplayingrn if you're withdrawal from alcohol causes Korsakoff syndrome then you've been abusing it.
Bert is almost 50 and doesn't know how to conjugate the verb "drown."
And he’s worth more money than you and I put together (probably)
just a bit/acting dumb. its kinda lame really.
@@Torchforbes Not everyone worships the dollar like you do apparently
Better yet: He's an English major graduate
Bert: I'm taking peptides
Tom: are you feeling any different?
Bert: no not really
Also Bert: *nearly passes out 2 episodes in a row*
Bert: “I wanna eat something just crazy. Something with tons of chili on it, I wanna get sick”.
Tom: 👁👄👁
Bert needs a lighthouse to guide his brain for this podcast.
This podcast is 99% Brent 1% Tom’s side-eye at the camera.
Who's Tom? You mean Tim?
You mean Burnt?
@@zacharyhickerson5391 yeah i meant Barry Krystals
Yeah,thats what I said..blunt krystals..we're totally on the same page
He didn’t tie off the end of his rope. Simple mistake...often over looked by speed climbers...this time he fell...without the knot able to hit the bottom belayer and catch in the device...the rope freely went through belayers device and he fell to his death. Tying off a rope is the first thing I tell people to do...even if we’re on a short single pitch...it should be muscle memory but like all things...humans take short cuts. Just wanted to shed some light on the climber..Brad Gobright was his name RIP.
Brad was a free solo climber...his death wasn’t free soloing.
Free solo climbing and Free climbing are two completely different things. Free climbing involves a rope...free solo is no rope and no aid. Just a friendly insight not being an elitist just for anyone wondering
Thanks brother.
@facciabella85 while climbing accidents are rare...they usually end with serious injury or death...
Thanks for shedding some light on the subject, as well as your insight
RIP Brad Gobright. Legendary free solo climber. I didn't expect Tom to bring him up. Missed a knot in his rappelling gear. Always check your gear.
"I'm doing the corporate?"
"It's 25 grand!"
Why shes married to Bert
Nadav is trying too hard lmao. WE KNOW WHAT A LIGHTHOUSE LOOKS LIKE
It wasn’t Nadav. When Nadav is working you can hear his laugh.
@@OldBon3s I heard Nadav laugh a few times in this episode. I think he’s just gotten better at googling out of sheer humiliation
He was just talking, is he serious about almost passing out?...that's concerning
He literally fully blacked out last episode at 1 hour and 2 minutes
Maybe it’s all those peptides
It’s just some Baby Stokes, don’t worry bout it
I believe it is withdrawal given him panic attacks or anxiety
@@robertgowdey lmao yall need a shot
I feel like this podcast has turned into English class for Bert. Goes to show how quality of an education you get at FSU. Go Noles.
Episodes like this make me remember why I love this podcast loll. Their friendship is great
I love when Bert is saying something ridiculous, and they cut to Tom, and he just looks at the camera and smiles. I lose it every time.
I can only imagine the struggle Bert would suffer if he went on,
Tahir Moore - WORDING IS HARD 😂 🤣
I love that we're ignoring Bart occasionally coming close to passing out.
If he croaks all his friends are gonna be shocked,while us on youtube are saying,
" we fucking mentioned him passing out on camera, so did he".
And we will be the insensitive assholes.
"Drownding" PLEASE DO WORDS WITH BERT! SPECIAL FEATURE NIGHTMERE
I am DROWNDING in tears from this episode. Best one in a hot minute
I have this reoccurring nightmere where I have to save the earf from a gigantic pack of woofs. I wake up with chill bumps everytime.
Bert: “obviously i fell off a waterfall one time...”
I’ve heard the waterfall story almost as much as the machine story out of him
@@StephenKyle91 had to check if it was a reupload
Leanne is an absolute savage. She is perfect for Bart
FYI, can definitely get a DWI/DUI riding an e-bike drunk. It counts as a vehicle
Any idea what brand/model that bike is?
@@tranceient Surron MTB
I love how much my guys genuinely love each other 💙
I really genuinely hope Bert tours the drive ins again in the future! It sounds like such a unique experience I wish I hadn't been so distracted by 2020
Anybody notice that Tom seemed most shocked that Bert peed the bed. Like that was the most surprising thing of the story, how long have they been friends?
I hope this "I almost just passed out" thing is a bit.
If it's after he laughs hard as shit, then i'm pretty sure it's true lol
His face is dark-purple, that looks like being choked out.
Tom and Bert should see who can drink a 64 ounce milkshake the fastest, there will for sure be puke involved
Loved how pumped Bert got in that video
17:38 Tom's "Jim from the office" moment
I feel like this "lightheadedness" is Burt planning to fake his own death and get out rich
He's already rich
@@BirdOfHermes83 indeed, making it time to do the "getting out" bit, hence the lightheadedness
@@MersyyLife I doubt he can think that far ahead lol
Bert "by the way" Krystals. Never finishes a thought on this podcast.
Yeah, but he's got nine stories in his head. Give the man a break.
@@milesverbois3498 and 7 of them are mostly made up
Word on the street is Bert’s tour bus is the Epstein island of stray dogs. Hopefully they address it this episode
Why do you think he has so many BBQs... have to get rid of the evidence.
the fact that Bert throws himself a tiny parade after every show... says A LOT. he is hilarious and completely out of control 😂 🤦🏻♂️
im 1:24 into this and i can already tell that this episode sets the bar lmao
Burt “ I came a lot yesterday “ Tom “Was it 18 feet”
LeeAnn is a straight boss. Get that money girl.
Did bert just call a brainfreeze a 'cold headache' 🥴🥴🥴 I'm shook
Anyone else get sad when the episode ends. One of the best parts of my monday is when the new 2 bears 1 cave drops. Love you guys thanx for the best podcast on youtube!
When Bert got the bike i was smiling like I'm the one who received it!!! 😆
Berts dying. His skin looks the wrong color and he keeps almost passing out, something wrong with his heart or something. Get checked dude.
He might have a stroke on the podcast
Could be dog-to-human STI transmission.
We might actually witness him die on a podcast
No wonder Tommy was so excited to do a live show.
No wonder famous people don't read comments. Fucking dicks. He looks fine to me.
Here’s hoping Tom picked up on “they got me an owl” and he gets Bert a lighthouse
They should do an episode where bert is on adderall and we have to guess what episode it is
All of them come on
I think it would be way too obvious
I can't imagine
Probably the episode where he has a stroke or heart attack is my guess
WORDS WITH BURT. I would tune in every episode
I got to see Tom last weekend with all new material. My head still hurts from laughing.
“The Open Boat” by Stephen Crane, classic story about being lost at sea and seeing a lighthouse in the distance
About the P.L.A.S.T.T. thing, how about BERTT?
(Bra, Ear, Ring-Finger, Thong & Tongue)
That could work and could be shared on the show
5:15 bert is literally dying take him to a freaking cardiologist ASAP.
I couldnt imagine just listening to this podcast and not seeing Tom's facial expressions towards Bert's stories lol
The birthday gift part of this one is the best ever!