I will NOT pretend to be a "bad boy" to get any woman. If she cannot accept me for being a loving caring strong & powerful nice man, she can take a hike.
The following is a “what if”. I don’t know you nor do I pretend to know you. But “what if” you deliberately wanted to pursue a one night stand? Would you go through the motions of behaving like a bad boy just to achieve that?
so, here you are rev dude, here you are saying you are "loving,caring, strong" and at the same time telling women to "take a hike" - and you get the heart reaction from Courtney Ryan! thus proving that the only way to get noticed is telling women to "take a hike" AKA bad boy. In real life, nice men do not tell women to "take a hike" . nice men want women and everyone else to know they are valuable people
@@MrAnarchris I think by saying "take a hike", he means that in a way where he values himself. That's not a bad boy thing, it's a matter of having so much self respect, that you refuse to change just to get a woman to want you.👌
I would also add a really important but simple point. Women are generally attracted by masculine men and bad boys generally have a lot of masculine characteristics. But if you're a good guy that take care of yourself and you are working on your masculine characteristics, you'll have no problem to attract women, and more importantly, GOOD women. Remember, being a nice guy is not a problem, being a simp is !
Being a simp may be the problem, but if you’re a good men, women will test you, create drama, out and out fight you. If you give in, you’re seen as the weak nice guy. If you stand up to her, eventually your only choice is to end the relationship, at which point she sees you as the bad boy jerk who never loved her anyway.
@@GEORGIOARCADE but it all boils down to how lucky you were born Gotta be born with that chissled jawline to be attractive and for women to validate you as a bad boy
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Being selfish and doing things for yourself are two different things. People tend to classify you as selfish maybe because you don't do things for them and only think about yourself. But the truth is, you HAVE to think and do things for yourself first. You are the most important person in your life.
“Both parties accountable” this is what I tried telling my sister. It takes two people to be in a toxic/unhealthy relationship. Obviously I won’t go into the details lol
That would be true 100% if the man was the one who approved the start of a relationship, which is not. Which is why what you has said nothing to do with chasing, because chasing implies that one is not in a relationship with what you chase yet otherwise you wouldn't be chasing it (not that she couldn't be with more than one, but lets just stick to the simple ones where two people are involved). You know the saying: "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me." the problem is, most modern/young women that they think this "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me any subsequent time, shame on you every time" are the problem, to themselves at least. Which means that most women pick to start a relationship with men who are not "good" men because their choosing methodology is governed by feelings, emotions based on predetermined biological programming instead conscious and quantified awareness of the positive traits and requirements a good man must have which means by using logic and emotional intelligence(not empathy).
@@travisesquibel3903 😂😂I know this a joke but to clarify: my sister was in a toxic relationship with another man. I just gave advice to her. Have a good one 😂
Chris i agree with what you said because if we are being honest; women look for men who have qualities they lack or could use more of hence confidence, leadership. People call this kinda guy a "bad boy" but got it mixed up with a guy whose a rude, fake nice person with a cocky attitude. At least that's how i see it
I did date a couple of women who were single moms at one time when I was younger. The first told me she was divorced but that was a lie after about a month. The next was honest that she had gotten pregnant at the end of high school. Both became difficult later because they wanted me to foot the bill to support them. They kept talking about their exes and intimacy and sex was bad because they kept comparing me with their Bad Boy relationships. They were both toxic. I stayed away from women with kids after that.
Some women put the nice guys in the friendzone, but then fall for the bad boy who treats them like crap, but then turn around and say there's no nice guys around.
And the nice guys make the mistake of sticking around being her gay male girlfriend. The "let's just be friends" line should be the nice guy's warning to run for the gym, hit the books, do his own thing, and cut contact with her.
My first 2 years in high school, I was extremely unpopular with girls. My parents moved to another city and I transferred to a new school. I was so depressed and really didn't want to socialize. It was almost immediate that I was being asked out a lot. There were many times girls would just show up to my parents crappy apartment unannounced. Some of those girls had some problems at home. I wasn't a "bad boy", I was just a shy, depressed boy who wanted to listen to records and play my guitar, but I was def attracting some broken girls.
I tell broken girls!!! STOP BEING SO FREAKING STUPID AND DUMP THE BAD BOY!!! The Solution is so simple just GET RID OF THE LOSER!!! Women are to blame for domestic violence in this country because they choose BAD BOYS over GOOD GUYS!!!
ladies and gentlemen I have a question -let's say there is a "bad boy" in the room who exudes confidence, impudence, testosterone, badness, bla bla bla, and in front of girls he starts to pick on a modest, humble, unassuming, and quiet guy, just to impress with his badness girls in the room. The shy guy is reticent, he apologizes, he wants to avoid fight, he tries to evade bad guy, but bad guy keeps pressing on and situation is about to get physical. The shy guy who doesnt look like Rambo (and bad guy does) proceeds to beat shit and to the pulp bad guy, coze it turns out the shy guy was a green beret in Afhganistan. He beats bad guy unconsious, other people in the party call the police and ambulance, the police arrives and puts the bad guy in cuffs because obviously he has enough meth to put him away in prison for 10 years. - I feel really sorry for the bad guy, coz his bad ass will be serving the really BAAD prisoners for the entire duration of the prison termEnd of the story of the poor bad guy . Anybody else wants to be a bad guy? oh I forgot - the shy guy's uncle is the county sheriff.
I was madly in love with a woman and I treated her like a queen, which she loved . Then she broke my heart and married her abusive ex BF a week later. You really nailed this for me, I needed this. Thank you again, Courtney!
No woman is a “queen” so don’t treat them as such. The only woman to treat with that level of respect is your mother. Your wife is and always should be your equal, no more, no less - however a “queen” is always above you. Big difference.
Women like to go after men they can’t have that easy, if you’re a guy and go after women so hard you will not get her, is not about being a bad boy that treats women like trash etc, be a man that goes after his goals, work on your self physically and mentally , don’t be afraid of losing a woman, don’t put her on a pedestal, don’t make her your world, have standards .
I do everything you mentioned, I'm very successful, considered good to very good looking by most people, have the body of a fitness model at 51 years old, own a home outright, and have been gainfully employed for 27 years with a 6 figure income. Oh, and I'm even 6 feet tall. Yet, I still get friend zoned after one (maybe 2) date 80% of the time. So, yeah, I think it is somewhat of a wanting a bad boy thing, because I show early on that I'm a good guy (but not a "nice guy"), via being reliable and enthusiastic, as opposed to being mysterious, unpredictable, and acting nonchalant during the date. And I'm an alpha male who takes initiative, and who isn't afraid to make a move on my date if I think she's into me
@@Lonstermash You don’t need to act nonchalant, but if your impressed with everything she says or treat her like a girlfriend when you’ve only been on a date or two, that’s gonna give off needy vibes. Let her reach out, assume she wants to see you and set a date, ask a lot of questions and let her do most of the talking while you lead the interaction. Girls want to chase and work for you because then you’re a prize and you’re acting like a man. Girls have a ton of guys in their inbox and they’re almost always interested in the guy who isn’t. This doesn’t mean be a cold fish, but women need time to think about you and they can only do that when you’re not talking to them all the time. They need to wonder about you. Remember, they also need to win you over. It still sucks when things don’t work out though, I feel your frustration.
@@Swolesome.Raymond game player women who are super independent and or emotionally unavailable and often with poor self esteem do, but almost all of my serious relationships have gotten exclusive and seeing each other very regularly by no more than 5 dates within 2 weeks of knowing each other. Those women were very marriage and family minded, for what it's worth. I'm not acting needy, or desperate, either, and I'm doing the things you're suggesting on the first date. My only point was that after just one date, I usually get friend zoned, simply because, despite the good qualities she lists about my looks and personality, I didn't give her any "butterflies." And I'm sorry, but when you have a seemingly good first date, especially after meeting online, it's not needy or desperate to try to plan a second date a few days later. Many women I have successfully dated for a decent amount of time were actually happy to plan a second date as the first one was ending if we obviously hit it off (made out, for example). And I often do get a woman reaching out to me after a first date to thank me for a nice time, which often is code for "I want to see you again." But if it's been 2 or more days, and she hasn't reached out to you after a first date, then she's either not interested or she's entitled/more traditional and expects the man to pursue her and reach out first, I have found. I think the problem is, especially in this crazy world that has gotten even crazier every few years that I've been in the dating scene since about 1990, is that enthusiasm for someone who seems really cool and is physically attractive gets confused for neediness. Frankly, I love it when a woman throws herself at me and shows me a ton of attention right away, and I look at it like I deserve that attention because I'm a high value man, rather than viewing her as needy or desperate. And when she plays hard to get games, I easily lose interest
@@Lonstermash if she friend zoned u then it just means she doesn't think ur the one for her. U could be the perfect guy but it still doesn't mean that ur perfect for her
In my experience with girls, it's okay to be a nice guy, but a nice guy with confidence who stands up for himself, not a doormat who does whatever the girl wants. Also making her laugh is crucially important. With my gf I am constantly cracking jokes and sending her memes and funny texts to make her laugh. Or sometimes (as weird as it might sound) I will tickle or poke her in public. She told me she actually really likes that.
In my experience it is really definition by opposition. Nice Guy and Bad Boy is a left wing media constructed concept. But, it doesn't truly represent the idea of a good person or a bad person. Adding to the irony, very often the Nice Guy are horrible stalkers and the Bad Boys are the actual good people. I've seen it all the time. In my experience, the reason that girls like Bad Boys is very simple. Most real life women are also Bad Girls. Bad Girls like Bad Boys and Bad Boys like Bad Girls. It is that simple. To go into more detail, the concept of "Nice Guy" and "Bad Boy" is a pop culture contrast origined from Left Wing media, with a feminism agenda in mind, it doesn't truly represent an idea of good people or bad people. Ironically, most people fit the pop culture "Nice Guy" definition are usually horrible people and those fit the "Bad Boy" definition are usually good people. This is very due to our western culture is oriented towards looking for a committed relationship over a real relationship. This is the case with both the left and the right. For example, within left wing feminism the saying is "If you dump a girl after you got bored you are a jerk treating women like crap!" Translate the meaning of that "If you are dating a girl you are not interest in you keep leading her on. Otherwise, you are treating women like crap!" So, the focus is about whether it is a committed relationship. Not whether it is a real relationship. The same is applicable to the right. For example, Christian value is very anti divorce. They care not about whether it is a real relatioship or not, they force two people not right for each other to stay together and make each other suffer. So, that is the thing about western value. It is culturally obsess with entering a committed relationship and never breakup, but care not about whether it is a real relationship. Culturally speaking, in the west we call this the "grown up thing to do." In contrast some other culture are very different, for example Asian culture doesn't value commitment. As the polar opposite Asian culture is about whether it is a real relationship and feel you got no need to be in a relationship if you not want to do so and when it is time to let go, of a relationship you let go. So, it isn't anti breakup or divorce. Looking for a real relationoship is also what our pop culture call "just having fun." Based on this mentlaity the concept of Nice Guy and Bad Boy is born. Thus, it is the concept of "Guys willing to commit are great guys treating women well." (aka Nice Guy) and there are their female equals the (Nice Girls) Because they act in consistant with our western culture obsession with finding and staying in a committed relationship "Guys that won't commit are jerks treating women like crap!" (aka Bad Boy e.g. Charlie from Two and a Half Men) and their femaiel equals the Bad Girls (e.g. Penny from the Big Bang Theory or "Guys that won't commit are immature" (aka Man Child e.g. Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory.) Due to they act in contradiction with our culture obsession with finding and staying in a committed relationship But, here is the reality, statistically up to 85% of men and women are in the Bad Boy and Bad Girl category. So, on the relationship scene they are more interest in a real relationship, what we culturally call "Just having fun" and care not about whether it is a commitment relationship. And 25% of the population both male and female are highly commitment phobic. Only 10% are in the Nice Guy and Nice Girl category that want a committed relationship over a real relationship and also got no commitment phobic issue. Taking a more academic approach towards it. What we culturally call a Nice Guy/Nice GIrl, is call "Anxiety Attachment Style" People of this category are very desperate for a committed relationship. But, care not about whether it is a real relationship. The type of people call Bad Boy and Bad Girl are in the category of "Secure Attachment Style" or "Avoidance Attachment Style" These people prefer real relationship over a committed relationship. This is what we culturally call "just having fun" and what we culturally call a "player." 60% are in Secure Attachment Style." 25% in the "Avoidane Attachment Style" Avoidance Attachment Style people are also got a lot of fear towards commitment and intimacy. As a result, they are what we culturally call "Player that won't commit." While Secure Attachment Style people are just "Players." Even when/if these people get married, it is getting married for fun. Because, they love been together so much, they decided to be together. But, they are also perfectly fine if they are not together. Because, they got no need for a committed relationship and care not about commitments. Celebrity examples included Leighton Meester and Adam Brody and Keira Knightly and james righton. Avoidance Attachment Style people "Player that won't commit type" prefer real relationship and fear commitments. They are more likely to be in situations that is a real relationship, but not a committed relationship. For example, if your parents are happily together for 30 years, but not married, chances are one of your parents is the Avoidance Attachment Style type what our culture call "Player that won't commit" type. Secure Attachment Style people prefer real relationship and got no desire for committed relationship. But, they don't mind commitments. Anxiety Attachment Style people are desperate for a committed relationship and care not about whether it is a real relationship. This unhealthy obsession sometimes turn them into horrible people e.g. Amber Heard or continue to kiss the ass of somebody not liking them in hope that he/she will be with them and not leave them e.g. Will Smith. In addition there is distorted attachment style people making up 5% of the population. These people are also desperate for a committed relationship and care not about whether this is a real relationship. But, at the same time they are terrified of commitment. They are trap between a rock and a crazy place. Therefore, in some ways they resemble what our culture think of as a Nice Guy/Nice Girl (wanting to be in a committed relationship and won't let go.) and in other ways like the ultimate Bad Boy/Bad Girl (highly commitment phobic) These people are not categorized in our pop culture. Because our western culture's obsession with commitments, it is very Anxiety Attachment Style oriented. This lead to the Bad Boy Trope and the Nice Guy Trope, where it is blindly in favor of the Nice Guy/Nice Girl. Due to that obsession with commitment, Anixety Attachment Style people often not able to see things from the other people's perspective. Therefore, ended up as entitled narcissist whinning assholes not respecting nor understanding other people's autonamy. And that spirit is reflected in our media. Within the media Bad Boy Trope, they usually match up a Bad Boy and a Nice Girl. And argue that the Bad Boy is mistreating the Nice Girl. Because, the Nice Girl want a committed relationship with him, but the Bad Boy felt not the same way. This is despite the Bad Boy never misled the Nice Girl to think this is something serious. Sometimes the Bad Boy even let the girl understand he is not looking for anything serious right from the beginning. Examples of such included Charlie from Two and a Half Men and Barney from How I Met Your Mother. In the Nice Guy Trope, they reverse it. They will have a Bad Girl and a Nice Guy. Examples included Robin (Bad Girl) and Ted (Nice Guy) in How I Met Your Mother and Penny (Bad Girl) and Leoanrd (Nice Guy) in Big Bang Theory. Just like the Bad Boys, the Bad Girls are also players. Sometimes player that won't commit. And just like the Nice Girl wanting to be in a serious exclusive and committed relationship with the Bad Boy ASAP, the Nice Guy want the same thing with the Bad Girl. But, much like how Bad Boys like Charlie and Barney felt not the same way. the Bad GIrl also felt not the same way. At this instance, they represent the Nice Guy as the victim and the Bad Girl as the villain for breaking his heart. This is despite much like the Bad Boy, the Bad Girl didn't mislead him. For example, Robin in How I Met Your Mother told Ted that she doesn't want to get married and have kids right from the beginning. Penny let Leonard understand that she is not interest very early on, it is Leonard that won't take no for an answer. In the media they also let the Nice Girl be the representation of all women. This is despite in the real world they are only 10% of the population and 85% of women are in the Bad Girl category. They are not interest in seeking a committed relationship, they just want a bit of fun. But, because, our media pushed for an idea that Nice Girl is a representation of all women, it push for the idea that this is what all women are suppose to be like. So, when they met a Bad Girl, they can't understand how they are different from how all women are suppose to be like. And when they try to connect with the Bad Girl by giving her what the Nice Girl want, she is not interest and he can't understand why he can't connect with her. And ended up choosing the Bad Boy that is not willing to offer the Nice Girl what the she wants, while he is willing to offer it?
This is so important: "Some people are addicted to their own stress hormones." Really important point and spoken clearly, as usual with this channel. Healing from peptide addiction is so important.
@@TapiaJ No, everyone needs to be confident, everyone needs to independent, and you may not have a sense of humor but you should at least be interesting enough to be around.
Girls who end up with bad boys are alone single mothers by 30 and in a difficult situation regarding the dating game moving forward for the rest of their lives. 😊
Not at all. Even the good girls married by 21 usually her first boyfriend was some druggie, criminal type. Not alpha at all but antisocial. Her teenage prime self just wanted to break the rules so antisocial men get the women best years.
In the 7th Grade, I fell for a certain bad girl. I found her looks and her energy sexy, but I practically moved on after nothing was happening between us. It turns out that she actually had a baby with a bad boy type BEFORE high school graduation. It practically deleted her from the entire class due to the shame. I would have never wanted that for her.
Sometimes a "bad boy", isn't always bad. Some are genuinely good guys who either are just free-spirited, risk taking, and rebellious by nature or dudes who been through quite a lot and at least puts in some healing to become a better man type shit. "Bad boys" aren't always bad news. Perhaps a bad boy with a good heart can end up having a long term relationship
Hi, greetings to you from Nigeria 🇳🇬,am lucy and this is my first to meet you on RUclips,l saw your profile pic and I really love what I saw.l hope you wouldn't mind,can we be friends
100% brother, a “bad boy” is subjective, it could be pure selfishness, goals/hobby driven men that tend not to put women on a pedestal, or after being hurt, they just simply don’t know how to anymore 😢
I heard a very interesting quote from Myron Gaines on the fresh and fit podcast where he said that women look for qualities in men that they lack in themselves. Hence why they want a guy whose confident, ambitious, got money or status. It's not a bad boy they want at all. It's the behavior and energy those men exudes. Also if the woman grew up without a good father figure; that will impact her dating choices. Which ties directly in the brilliant perspective you gave us here Courtney. I think guys should stop complaining about women who don't want them and focus on the ones who do.
I heard it articulated once upon a time that bad boys make them feel more emotionally connected and more invested. The nice guys are so predictable sometimes that they lose track of connection.
@Cmndr Roy Fokker I would say you don't know the woman, neither do I. Listen to what she says but you can't trust someone you don't know. Take advice objectively, even from (maybe especially from) an unknown woman.
@Cmndr Roy Fokker Don't think Instagram is fake and toxic, but following girls on there probably is because there's a lot of fake people on there. But just because she uses Instagram doesn't make her a fake in of itself. Too general.
@Cmndr Roy Fokker If you think so. I think I understand women better than you though. You have no perspective, except 'Don't listen to women' Are you a simp who's making up for it by any chance?
Ironically, I thought the same way about women too. I thought maybe if I put in the effort to show interest, she may actually change to something she might like more with me than others she went after. I was the kind of guy that thought, "If things don't work out or if you want to change your mind, I'll be around the block." Not that this ever worked, but it amused me to see if I could change a girl that I liked back in school.
Change for someone should come as a natural evolution of a good relationship and not something that you have to force upon yourself or someone else. My wife and I are different than we were when we first met and we made little to no effort to change. We just evolved together. great vid!
Well I’m mildly bad. I a little crooked but I have a heart of gold. I will fight for my friends and family. It’s ok to be nice but you gotta stick up for yourself when you need to.
A few years ago I was in a relationship with a woman that ended up becoming very unhealthy for both of us. Something I remember her saying back then was that when it came to guys, she liked a challenge. After things ended with us, she immediately bounced to a guy who was proud to be an asshole. I couldn't understand it. I do now.
lol. Major red flag when girls treat relationships as a “hobby”. One girl I was messing with said she sees love as a game. that’s when I knew this b***h was no good.
Women like men that are mysterious and keep them on their toes about where they stand. They like the thrill and the feeling of earning him... in the end they end up getting used.
@@nicke2307 Predictable and boring in what way? Most of us lead pretty normal lives. I mean, it's not like we're James Bond. Why is it then that someone who's nice is automatically predictable and boring? Obviously that's not true, but I'm just trying to understand what people are getting at when they throw these arbitrary labels on people, who have complex and varied personalities, habits, interests, etc.
#2 is so interesting and comes from psychoanalysis and is talked about a lot in general. The theory goes, we are subconsciously attracted to people who are familiar - maybe they resemble a parent, or they foster the same environment you had in childhood. Familiarity is comfortable and it's easy to be attracted to that. It might not be best for you or what you want, but of course it also might be! Only you can make that choice. So be mindful of this so it can be a more informed choice :)
Hi, greetings to you from Nigeria,am lucy and this is my first time to meet you here on RUclips,l saw your pics and I really love what I saw,can we be friends I hope you wouldn't mind
I appreciate your perspective and it seems applicable. Unfortunately, we live in a world where theory and reality are two different things. Men, play the game or get played.
To women with major issues, "bad boys" come off as way more confident than other men, and that's hard to resist. Women with good personalities want a nice guy who is also confident, and unfortunately those guys are pretty rare.
can they honestly not tell that those guys are huge narcissists? its so obvious if you just look at them for a second. the way they dress, walk, talk. they only love themselves. nobody else. not even their mothers.
Dating "bad boys and fun girls" are part of growing up in a way. I really like the psychology part of your content- very well rounded channel. How someone treats you shows much about them but whether you chose to allow it is a reflection of you.
@Courtney Green hi Courtney! No way, that’s awesome. A ton of names are unisex these days and nothing to worry about. I think it’s cool 😎 I’m going to do another video on hairstyles because I only chose 5 for that video and I left a ton out! Stay tuned 😊
Great video. I remember when I was younger I was going after toxic girls because they often had the best energy on the outside and they were often the prettiest on the outwardly any way. I would be willing to change who I was just to get their attention! Now I know it's all about a man and woman raising each other up, supporting each other, loving each other despite their flaws. Find that person
While I understand you might not be saying that we should settle for being a consolation prize that’s literally whats happening with the bad boy phase. The bad boy phase is literally the “good guys” being overlooked until the bad boy phase is over. Which is usually after said phase has left the women in question mentally/emotionally scarred enough to decide that they finally want a “good guy”.
I had a leather jacket just like the thumbnail, every time I wore it I would get stare from girls and many times any girl would open the glass door for me if anyone saw me coming through the door, first time it happened I was like she is warm inside and I am in the winter outside, she is just being nice but then it happened many times in many places. Leather jacket and khaki jacket works like a charm for me.
Women are not blinded by the bad boy phase!! They are literally obsessed with them and they would laugh at the guy who is sweet and kind to them!! They will never feel lucky to have a nice guy because they don't mess with their emotions!! Once everything is perfect that's when they leave!!
"Dating a couple people could be beneficial." "[...] to learn what you want, and what you don't want." I understand where you are coming from Courtney, but I find myself only partially being able to agree with you on this one. Perhaps an elaboration / clarification on what is defined as a "couple" people is important. Many women overdue this because it is much easier for them to test the waters this way than men, and it goes far beyond a couple people. I don't believe it is necessary for a woman to sleep with a bunch of guys to learn what she wants. Common sense dictates she should have a pretty good idea of this already. Also in doing so, she risks becoming a low value woman. No high value man wants a woman who has "been around" and the same holds true for women regarding men. Your interpretation, and the misconception many have regarding "bad boys" is spot on. "Constant Chaos" in a relationship. I agree with everything you said, and more. I have experienced this with a person in my past. If drama is not present, they will create it where is doesn't exist. It is simply a highly toxic relationship, and is always doomed to fail. Once again, nicely done Courtney.....💖
'Bad boys' get called as such often when they are driven and on their mission and purpose, rather than constantly looking after the emotional needs of women. Sometimes when they're being honest and direct and abrupt, instead of sugar coating their intentions. I know that many girls prefer that honesty to the feminine energy of being emotionally involved and relationship focused, and many girls enjoy the idea of their man being stable and blasting out their mission. Girls feminine energy is drawn to this masculine energy and girls want to be near guys like this who value themselves above all. Often, 'bad boys' are not 'bad' at all, they're just being too masculine and in this day and age many women don't like this and expect their partner to be a feminine, emotional sponge
I am driven with a mission and a purpose, but I will not put up with ANY WOMAN who even the slightest DRAGS ME DOWN!!! They slip up and they are OUTTA HERE!!!
I always wondered about this topic. We are advised to think (dating experts) to be a decent person to attract. Also, that fact that a girl can spot a manipulator right away. But it is a paradox that 'some' girls fall for a bad boy. The takeaway from this video is that such girls who chose bad boys have their own issues. Not all girls are the same just like guys are.
As someone in a stable relationship with no end in sight, I have no idea why I am watching this content, but for some reason it is absolutely fascinating. This is good content.
I think one the the biggest problems between men and women is evidenced by statistics found on dating sites that show that only the top 20% of men are getting 80% of the matches with women. Leading them to compete with that small number of men who have many options. On similar surveys women found 80% of men to be less attractive then they considered themselves.
I love how Courtney bridges the gap between these red pill coaches who tell us to treat women like garbage and these Simp dating coaches who believe women are queens who can’t do any wrong. She holds both parties accountable and provides solutions to fix the dating culture problem. The gender war is stupid and we should embrace positivity in order for us to have thriving relationships.
@@kriskuhn4687 that's an understatement. She just tried to sell an idea with psychobabble nonsense. So, I suppose after all of the "girls with unresolved issues " bullshit, I should assume that she went to therapy for a couple of years and got straightened out enough to settle for her beta boytoy.
@@gregmacklin9758 Honestly, good on her for going to therapy and fixing her damage. She may have an average man as a husband but shes smart and isnt chasing that silly dream of an unattainable man. Hopefully She'll have a happy life.
You mentioned a lot of women that go for bad boys have some issue they need to work through. My experience (and seems like a lot of guys) is that it seems like A LOT of women are like this, then as everyone says, they complain about how they are treated but then run right back to that same type. It also doesn't help that there are guys (and one woman! Not you) that sell 'coaching plans' that TELL guys to treat women bad!
Screen, screen, and then screen again. Lol. Stay far away from women who did not have a positive relationship w their father if you want a healthy relationship (assuming you’re emotionally intelligent). Period. They will be toxic. Not having a positive male figure growing up to teach, provide security, and guidance tends to wreak havoc on relationships and be chaotic after the amazing dopamine honeymoon stage. It’s a sad truth 🤷♀️
“Often girls are blinded by guys who seem really nice at the beginning but then ends up being a bad boy and manipulative” then......”I know there are good guys out there too. I can speak from personal experience on that as well I get so many amazing comments and dms from so many of you guys....”.
Great point, when courtney mentioned this, all i can think of was famous serial killer ted bundy.....and guess what happened when they fell for his tricks, dead! in a way when girls fall for bad guys....it can be very scary....falling for famous serial killers who have high body counts....oh brother! you know that all this stems from hybristophilia right?
What you said at 2:30 is interesting and really shows how abstract the manosphere narrative is. There was a RUclipsr interviewing hot girls to get them to agree on “red pill” theory. One girl in her early 20s was asked true or false, women go after bad boys when they’re young and settle for nice guys once they hit the wall. “True.” “Next question, at what age do women hit the wall?” In her mind SHE ALREADY hit the wall. Which makes her initial answer completely irrelevant.
It immediately caught my interest when you said that you yourself are with a "nice guy" good guy. It is not simply about being with a "bad boy" or a "nice guy" ergo one of the extremes, I would say it is more about being with a good guy who is the best of both worlds someone who does nice things for you but can also set a boundry, be solid in what he says and also say no I myself am dealing depression and so on because of a lot of different reasons one of them being the fact that about five years ago I met a beautiful young woman who found me to be very attractive and I guess you could say became addicted to me. All while I was wearing a "mask" to show everyone how happy I was when in reality I was and still am a wreck. Who has a LOT of healing work to do so I can relate to this video with a reverse situation me being the "bad boy" five years ago. Not to mention keeping up the facade of the "mask" that developed into a "bad boy", was utterly exhausting every night I would have moments of coming back to my genuine self and feeling drained, exhausted you name it. So yeah you are very correct about what you say in this video which is amazing by the way.
Guys, build self-worth and self-discipline, girls are going to come and go, but your relationship with yourself matters the most. Make her a PART of your life, NOT your WHOLE LIFE. Associate with HIGH QUALITY People and make mistakes while you're young, no one is going to care about your failures in your 20s but you probably won't get a second chance in your 30s.
It's like some kind of a competition to win that bad boy and prove to her self she's the hottest one even though she knows he has multiple girl friends and yet he doesn't give a damn about any one of them only to satisfy he needs and move on 🤙🏽
The problem is that many women aren't mature enough to get out of the bad boy phase early. They get into it, start becoming addicted to it, stay in it for 10-20 years, wash up and have the AUDACITY to say "Where'd all the good men go"?
I used to work in an office by the county jail and just about every day I'd see a young, hot woman going into the jail to, presumably, see her bad-boy boyfriend. Most of them wore tight, revealing outfits so they probably were not attorneys.
Great video. We’re all finding out more and more of what we want and don’t want through experience. The things you don’t want in a partner help you identify and understand what you DO want in a partner. The more you enjoy the process of figuring it out, the more fun you’ll have in life and the happier you’ll be. Let’s stop being so hard on ourselves and those we are dating, and just enjoy the journey of discovering our preferences and gaining clarity about what we like.
Isn’t it sad to think all the nice guys out there that are single. I’ve essentially “given up” because the only girls I seem attracted to are bad girls. Kind of the complete opposite of what you’re talking about
@@kennyr1161 my comment was for me personally. I’m saying every time I try to get into a serious relationship it seems I pick the wrong women. I’ve essentially given up trying I’d rather stay single and not get emotionally involved and hurt. I know it’s because of the type of women I pursue but I can’t help what I’m attracted to and unfortunately they are ones that are not ready for commitment or enjoy attention from other guys or just down right don’t want to be in a committed relationship. So to save myself from the heartache I’ve chosen to be non commital and have no emotional attachment. Being straight forward with this in the beginning has proved good for both me and the girl I’m seeing at the time but it doesn’t help me find a life partner.
These types of women might have that behavior because they are attractive enough (physically) and they know that they have options, and since they can't figure out whom to choose when they have too many options, and since there may be a more attractive and "better" one around the corner, they become manipulative and/or play around instead of committing to one person. Attractive "bad" boys can have the same mindset, too. Of course, I can be wrong, but from what I've seen and read, this is the conclusion that I have arrived at (so far).
@@whitebuffalo6071 are these women super attractive? If you're frequently finding yourself only attracted to those that means your self esteem is likely low. You must've been heavily hit hard earlier by the rejection/disappointment of that first one you went for then you subconsciously wanted to convince yourself.
Men, do not hesitate for one moment to put a restraining order against your female partner if you feel your safety and health is in jeopardy. Placing a permanent restraining order on my female ex-partner was absolutely the wisest protective move of my adult lifetime. My only regret is not doing it years earlier. Men, be safe!
In reality, bad boy = good looks=genetic lottery. Because of good looks young women want to date them!! Because of over supply of women, they don't care about women. Confident alpha dominant etc doesn't matter at young age if you are 6"4 athlete.
I was dating an older woman occasionally when I was 20, and these times I was really bad boy ( idiot). She knew my criminal issues, and when we saw each other after a while, I told her that I have changed, I have a real job, and arranged my life etc. She was so disappointed that I couldn't believe.
I have a female coworker who told me, "Guys want a good girl who will be a bad girl in bed. Girls want a bad boy that only they can tame into a good guy." I think this adds to what you were saying. Of course, there's also guys who want to be as sexually active as a porn star, but marry a virgin. Our fantasies don't always make sense. Love your video, your outfit and your smile! Have a great day!
@Michael Thomas My argument? lol "... a female coworker who told me..." is her POV/opinion. Besides, there's lots of flaws you can find in just about any behavior; doesn't mean people don't repeat it time after time, year after year, century after century.
Seems to be a common topic for some reason but she is spot on when she says you shouldn't be chasing after someone who clearly doesn't want you and you shouldn't want to be with a woman who is doing that anyway. I've been married for a long time so it doesn't affect me but when I was single that was pretty much my take on it. Why waste any emotional energy on that? Just move on.
I have wondered if this happens: Some girls have their first sexual experience with a bad boy, who is not intimidated by anyone and has an edge of criminality about him, and the relationship is very intense and imprints on their minds; that then results in the girl in later life trying to recreate that experience, and treating less "exciting" men with overt or concealed disdain.
Yes, that can happen. If a girl has had a past relationship with a very Alpha guy who left her, she can become an ”Alpha Widow”, who will always future compare relationships to that one.
👍 Good video. Personal change is not always bad. Sometimes they really care for you. Listening to some suggestions would have saved me 20+yrs of "The Good Life"
Whoa boy howdy... #3 is so true. I can't tell you how many times a girl was clearly interested in me, was with someone else talking about how bad he is, cheats on her, all kinds of stuff... and I'm hinting at what she already knows: I'm into her. I'll even tell them: "Look, this isn't even for my benefit, since you know I'm interested... but for you and you alone, you NEED to ditch this guy." That NEVER happens. Sometimes it's 1, 2, 3, or a mix in my experience. That said, I think many women naturally do #3 with ALL men, bad boy or not. My advice is to prolong changing for as long as possible... unless she's amazing and trustworthy, because another "change request" IS coming once you change the first thing. Changing too easily... probably won't be a good thing for you passed making her temporarily happy... but a good woman wouldn't do that, focusing on the "not good enough"s all the time. This can get toxic pretty quickly if handled poorly. That said, a good woman does deserve you putting effort in and you should eventually bend/change for her. Try to have fun with her about what she wants you to change for a while.
Playing sport also teaches you alot about life. The "bad boy" is the one who has his desires in check and is realising his potential which naturally comes with financial, spiritual and mental success. A man must be focused on his goals not being a bad boy. I laugh at bad boys. They boys. Not men
@@putlerkaputt9201 😆 True true…. She kinda has the vibe of a chick who keeps it really chill until you really piss her off, and then she’ll light your ass up like a Christmas tree… 🤣
Courtie can you please make a video on guys with social anxiety? I believe it's much worse for guys suffering from SAD as compared to girls, hence we really need your advice on this🙏🏻
I think Anxiety really sucks for girls too. Just like with guys it stops them feeling attractive, they can't form relationships, they misinterpret cues.
Glad I grew up bad lol and a not give a dam attitude but I'm married now so.... Yea but my persona actually still works even being married, everything requires balance.😂
Im 45 i been a bad boy since i was 16 .. I have not met any chick who was average looking or above average looking who didnt fall inlove with out toxic traits. The women who i had the longest relationships were women who chased me.
Because they look good, that's it. Not really about any other "thrills", "chases" or whatever. However, men should learn to respect themselves and not simp for thots, but it takes thinking with the upper head, not the lower one.
@@CourtneyRyan Being a nice guy is like being an average guy to most women!! They'll go after the Brads and Chads (WITHOUT BEING BLINDED) and then they'll look for the nice guy to use for resources!! They'll get married, the wife will make rules, the guy will receive less sex and still has to pay for it unlike the Chads who got it for free, they'll have kids then the wife will get bored for whatever reason, she divorces him and takes half his life away!! The house and lifestyle he worked hard for will mean nothing!!! He still has to pay for the house he doesn't live in, alimony and child support for the kids he can't even see every day!! This is why nice guys finish last and this bs that you and society keep telling us that "every woman wants a man to treat me with love and respect" is a myth!!! End of convo.
@@mlctv6547 being a good guy or nice guy isn’t bad. It’s only bad when you use it towards women who only surround themselves with assholes. A good guy can pull a Courtney no problem.
The guy who is able to stand up against the bad boy with still being good is the ultimate winner. The bad boy is not the winner just temporarily. You can be a solid man that handles it all.
When men talk about women frequently going after “bad boys” they are usually talking about guys with all the cultivated image of high level male without the substance of one. The guy who cultivates an athlete image with body fat percentage and clothes but is average or below at any sport. The tough guy that has never been in a fight and cusses and cries when he stubs his toe. The guy with the clothes, car, etc of a financial high level but not the actual high level income. The “rock star” with no musical talent. The bad boy thing is really women chasing phony images of masculinity over realty. No man is mystified by a beautiful woman dating a real pro athlete or rockstar. Unfortunately, women who can’t tell image from substance by early 20s often never can. She won’t see the substance of the man that works hard at his job and comes home to her over that guy the flirts with her at her job when he should be working.
Great video, Courtney!!! I 100% agree with everything but I think the point that stuck the biggest chord was what you said about what we learn from incompatible relationships. I have had just one partner to date. Since we spilt in 2016 I have realised how different we were, seen her bad points and realised it lasted as long as it did because of our issues and insecurities especially my own. I have spent the last 2 and half years working on myself. Now I am not far off moving from the UK to Ireland and start a new life. Finding new friends and a new partner. A healthier and more compatible partner!!!
It's the confidence for 100%, it's a fine line between arrogance but when you walk that line so to speak you'll get a LOT more attention and just in general you will feel better in a group of people. Girls notice this the most out of all things a guy has to offer, it's not just the clothes guys or your job/car.
On a side note, if you are dating someone because you want to change him/her, that means that you will lose interest in this person if you do succeed, because he changed into someone that you are no longer attracted to. And besides, if you are dating a broken person in order to fix him, then he knows that the only reason that you are interested in him is because he is broken, so he has no incentive to fix his problems; if he fixes himself, then you will feel like your mission has been accomplished, and you will lose interest in your completed project (on to save the next broken person!).. He knows this, so he will stay broken in order to keep your interest.
I will NOT pretend to be a "bad boy" to get any woman. If she cannot accept me for being a loving caring strong & powerful nice man, she can take a hike.
The following is a “what if”. I don’t know you nor do I pretend to know you. But “what if” you deliberately wanted to pursue a one night stand? Would you go through the motions of behaving like a bad boy just to achieve that?
SHE CAN KICK ROCKS IN FLIP FLOPS WITH NO SOCKS😏😏😏😏
Big facts homie
so, here you are rev dude, here you are saying you are "loving,caring, strong" and at the same time telling women to "take a hike" - and you get the heart reaction from Courtney Ryan!
thus proving that the only way to get noticed is telling women to "take a hike" AKA bad boy.
In real life, nice men do not tell women to "take a hike" . nice men want women and everyone else to know they are valuable people
@@MrAnarchris I think by saying "take a hike", he means that in a way where he values himself. That's not a bad boy thing, it's a matter of having so much self respect, that you refuse to change just to get a woman to want you.👌
I would also add a really important but simple point. Women are generally attracted by masculine men and bad boys generally have a lot of masculine characteristics. But if you're a good guy that take care of yourself and you are working on your masculine characteristics, you'll have no problem to attract women, and more importantly, GOOD women. Remember, being a nice guy is not a problem, being a simp is !
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Hiiii Greetings to you from Nigeria 🇳🇬 am lucy,this is my first time to meet you here on RUclips,I hope you wouldn't mind can we be friends
Being a simp may be the problem, but if you’re a good men, women will test you, create drama, out and out fight you. If you give in, you’re seen as the weak nice guy. If you stand up to her, eventually your only choice is to end the relationship, at which point she sees you as the bad boy jerk who never loved her anyway.
They don’t put her on a pedestal and are confident assertive and dominant
Facts! They know what can happen to them if they get too nice or comfortable with women. To me, that isn't a "bad boy" that's a smart man 💣
@@GEORGIOARCADE absolutely right.
@@GEORGIOARCADE it all boils down to looks
@@nothingbettertodo2295 well yes, looks does play a role indeed. A man should always try to look his best
@@GEORGIOARCADE but it all boils down to how lucky you were born Gotta be born with that chissled jawline to be attractive and for women to validate you as a bad boy
The more selfish I am.. The more they look at me. True story!
I think it’s important to focus on yourself and work towards what you want in life. That’s not a bad thing and will attract the right people 👏🏼
Sometymes it'z lookz'👔🌹🍷🍷💰💸💰💸💰.....However I LOVE, being myself more now.......FROM MY EXPERIENCES🌹🌘....PLUS....I'M OVER 40.....IT'Z BOUTZ' ME'......KNOTT' JUS' PRAISING...EVERY'🌹🍷🍷💋 LADY.....I PREFER LADIEZ...OVER 30YRS...ESTABLISHED_SOPHISTICATED....EXCEPTIONS....27YRS💋🌹👠CAREER-ORIENTED.....MINDSET....FOUNDATION....SECURE-W/SELF/FINANCIALLY.....KNOTT'💸💰💸💰💸👠🍷🍷🍷HIGH-WHORE🌘🌹MAINTENANCE-IDENTITIEZ.....
@@CourtneyRyan : COURTNEY💙💦💦🐬🌹☁DA' BOMB!!! LADY 'C!!! YO' MANNZ' 🌹👔👊💥COOLZ' MANNZ'!!! CASTED ON GH(🏥🌃GENERAL-HOSPITAL_PORT CHARLES!!!)
@@CourtneyRyan HOW TOO TIPS ON DRESSING LIKE A BAD BOY COURTNEY RYAN FOR RORY OVER IN NEW ZEALAND
Being selfish and doing things for yourself are two different things. People tend to classify you as selfish maybe because you don't do things for them and only think about yourself. But the truth is, you HAVE to think and do things for yourself first. You are the most important person in your life.
“Both parties accountable” this is what I tried telling my sister. It takes two people to be in a toxic/unhealthy relationship. Obviously I won’t go into the details lol
That would be true 100% if the man was the one who approved the start of a relationship, which is not.
Which is why what you has said nothing to do with chasing, because chasing implies that one is not in a relationship with what you chase yet otherwise you wouldn't be chasing it (not that she couldn't be with more than one, but lets just stick to the simple ones where two people are involved).
You know the saying: "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me." the problem is, most modern/young women that they think this "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me any subsequent time, shame on you every time" are the problem, to themselves at least.
Which means that most women pick to start a relationship with men who are not "good" men because their choosing methodology is governed by feelings, emotions based on predetermined biological programming instead conscious and quantified awareness of the positive traits and requirements a good man must have which means by using logic and emotional intelligence(not empathy).
Indeed. 👌👌🙏🙏👏👏👏
@@travisesquibel3903 😂😂I know this a joke but to clarify: my sister was in a toxic relationship with another man. I just gave advice to her. Have a good one 😂
Sometimes we may not be shit, but still the fly that's drawn to it.
Accountability is there criptinight
some times the "bad boy" is the only male around who displays confidence. Confidence is a drug in relationships, a major trigger for attraction.
@@MartinThePanda confidence and stupidity are not mutually exclusive.
Chris i agree with what you said because if we are being honest; women look for men who have qualities they lack or could use more of hence confidence, leadership. People call this kinda guy a "bad boy" but got it mixed up with a guy whose a rude, fake nice person with a cocky attitude. At least that's how i see it
Facts
...but you have to be prepared to live with the consequences of it, of which ladies most of the time aren't.
Been a Real Men takes way more than just confidence.
If you meet a woman who says "I hate drama," avoid dating them, because they are likely chaos addicts.
It's always wise to observe women's actions rather than words.
Same with men. I've met so many men that say no drama and then they use drama like it's oxygen.
in my experience whole mankind should be avoided not only just girls or boys
Women often dare opportunistically
Don't judge. I am a person who say what I mean. When I say 'no drama', then I totally mean it.
Boys ...let me save u some future heartache...the girls who end up chasing these bad boys end up last in life later on in life..we are the prize..
Very true. No one wants them.
I did date a couple of women who were single moms at one time when I was younger. The first told me she was divorced but that was a lie after about a month. The next was honest that she had gotten pregnant at the end of high school. Both became difficult later because they wanted me to foot the bill to support them. They kept talking about their exes and intimacy and sex was bad because they kept comparing me with their Bad Boy relationships. They were both toxic. I stayed away from women with kids after that.
Really? Because you were dumb enough to go after bad women?
@@noremac0575 You have to learn somehow. I bet you didn’t make all the smart decisions too Noremac
I feel ya Pain and a to a certain degree relate to that. Sadly, too many Single Moms today are too used toxicity and dysfunction as the norm.
Being victim doesnt' mean being good. They can be another bad people.
I also always attract the bad pussies 😞 they are nice sweet and wet, but thats about it :(
Some women put the nice guys in the friendzone, but then fall for the bad boy who treats them like crap, but then turn around and say there's no nice guys around.
And the nice guys make the mistake of sticking around being her gay male girlfriend. The "let's just be friends" line should be the nice guy's warning to run for the gym, hit the books, do his own thing, and cut contact with her.
😂
I know many women like that
@@sharpshooter7686 or use her as a wing woman when you go out as friends. That worked for me a couple of times
@@Lonstermash Doesn't really work when she's already got a boyfriend locked down lol
My first 2 years in high school, I was extremely unpopular with girls. My parents moved to another city and I transferred to a new school. I was so depressed and really didn't want to socialize. It was almost immediate that I was being asked out a lot. There were many times girls would just show up to my parents crappy apartment unannounced. Some of those girls had some problems at home. I wasn't a "bad boy", I was just a shy, depressed boy who wanted to listen to records and play my guitar, but I was def attracting some broken girls.
Well, there you go, sir. 👌👌👌
I tell broken girls!!! STOP BEING SO FREAKING STUPID AND DUMP THE BAD BOY!!! The Solution is so simple just GET RID OF THE LOSER!!! Women are to blame for domestic violence in this country because they choose BAD BOYS over GOOD GUYS!!!
ladies and gentlemen I have a question -let's say there is a "bad boy" in the room who exudes confidence, impudence, testosterone, badness, bla bla bla, and in front of girls he starts to pick on a modest, humble, unassuming, and quiet guy, just to impress with his badness girls in the room. The shy guy is reticent, he apologizes, he wants to avoid fight, he tries to evade bad guy, but bad guy keeps pressing on and situation is about to get physical. The shy guy who doesnt look like Rambo (and bad guy does) proceeds to beat shit and to the pulp bad guy, coze it turns out the shy guy was a green beret in Afhganistan. He beats bad guy unconsious, other people in the party call the police and ambulance, the police arrives and puts the bad guy in cuffs because obviously he has enough meth to put him away in prison for 10 years. - I feel really sorry for the bad guy, coz his bad ass will be serving the really BAAD prisoners for the entire duration of the prison termEnd of the story of the poor bad guy . Anybody else wants to be a bad guy? oh I forgot - the shy guy's uncle is the county sheriff.
I was madly in love with a woman and I treated her like a queen, which she loved . Then she broke my heart and married her abusive ex BF a week later. You really nailed this for me, I needed this. Thank you again, Courtney!
Man you gotta listen to some Austin Dunham or ams
you should contact her and thank her for not marrying you, she did you a favor there. its true and it'll piss her off too.
@@TheSuperappelflap don’t contact shows your hurt. Move on live a dope life
No woman is a “queen” so don’t treat them as such. The only woman to treat with that level of respect is your mother. Your wife is and always should be your equal, no more, no less - however a “queen” is always above you. Big difference.
Face it! You simped! If you put her on a pedestal, she will look down at you!
Women like to go after men they can’t have that easy, if you’re a guy and go after women so hard you will not get her, is not about being a bad boy that treats women like trash etc, be a man that goes after his goals, work on your self physically and mentally , don’t be afraid of losing a woman, don’t put her on a pedestal, don’t make her your world, have standards .
That's a very good and honest piece of advice.
I do everything you mentioned, I'm very successful, considered good to very good looking by most people, have the body of a fitness model at 51 years old, own a home outright, and have been gainfully employed for 27 years with a 6 figure income. Oh, and I'm even 6 feet tall. Yet, I still get friend zoned after one (maybe 2) date 80% of the time. So, yeah, I think it is somewhat of a wanting a bad boy thing, because I show early on that I'm a good guy (but not a "nice guy"), via being reliable and enthusiastic, as opposed to being mysterious, unpredictable, and acting nonchalant during the date. And I'm an alpha male who takes initiative, and who isn't afraid to make a move on my date if I think she's into me
@@Lonstermash You don’t need to act nonchalant, but if your impressed with everything she says or treat her like a girlfriend when you’ve only been on a date or two, that’s gonna give off needy vibes. Let her reach out, assume she wants to see you and set a date, ask a lot of questions and let her do most of the talking while you lead the interaction. Girls want to chase and work for you because then you’re a prize and you’re acting like a man. Girls have a ton of guys in their inbox and they’re almost always interested in the guy who isn’t. This doesn’t mean be a cold fish, but women need time to think about you and they can only do that when you’re not talking to them all the time. They need to wonder about you. Remember, they also need to win you over. It still sucks when things don’t work out though, I feel your frustration.
@@Swolesome.Raymond game player women who are super independent and or emotionally unavailable and often with poor self esteem do, but almost all of my serious relationships have gotten exclusive and seeing each other very regularly by no more than 5 dates within 2 weeks of knowing each other. Those women were very marriage and family minded, for what it's worth. I'm not acting needy, or desperate, either, and I'm doing the things you're suggesting on the first date. My only point was that after just one date, I usually get friend zoned, simply because, despite the good qualities she lists about my looks and personality, I didn't give her any "butterflies." And I'm sorry, but when you have a seemingly good first date, especially after meeting online, it's not needy or desperate to try to plan a second date a few days later. Many women I have successfully dated for a decent amount of time were actually happy to plan a second date as the first one was ending if we obviously hit it off (made out, for example). And I often do get a woman reaching out to me after a first date to thank me for a nice time, which often is code for "I want to see you again." But if it's been 2 or more days, and she hasn't reached out to you after a first date, then she's either not interested or she's entitled/more traditional and expects the man to pursue her and reach out first, I have found. I think the problem is, especially in this crazy world that has gotten even crazier every few years that I've been in the dating scene since about 1990, is that enthusiasm for someone who seems really cool and is physically attractive gets confused for neediness. Frankly, I love it when a woman throws herself at me and shows me a ton of attention right away, and I look at it like I deserve that attention because I'm a high value man, rather than viewing her as needy or desperate. And when she plays hard to get games, I easily lose interest
@@Lonstermash if she friend zoned u then it just means she doesn't think ur the one for her. U could be the perfect guy but it still doesn't mean that ur perfect for her
In my experience with girls, it's okay to be a nice guy, but a nice guy with confidence who stands up for himself, not a doormat who does whatever the girl wants. Also making her laugh is crucially important. With my gf I am constantly cracking jokes and sending her memes and funny texts to make her laugh. Or sometimes (as weird as it might sound) I will tickle or poke her in public. She told me she actually really likes that.
👏🏼😎 yes!
Constantly eventually gets old.
Problem is I'm not funny
In my experience it is really definition by opposition. Nice Guy and Bad Boy is a left wing media constructed concept. But, it doesn't truly represent the idea of a good person or a bad person. Adding to the irony, very often the Nice Guy are horrible stalkers and the Bad Boys are the actual good people. I've seen it all the time.
In my experience, the reason that girls like Bad Boys is very simple. Most real life women are also Bad Girls. Bad Girls like Bad Boys and Bad Boys like Bad Girls. It is that simple.
To go into more detail, the concept of "Nice Guy" and "Bad Boy" is a pop culture contrast origined from Left Wing media, with a feminism agenda in mind, it doesn't truly represent an idea of good people or bad people. Ironically, most people fit the pop culture "Nice Guy" definition are usually horrible people and those fit the "Bad Boy" definition are usually good people.
This is very due to our western culture is oriented towards looking for a committed relationship over a real relationship. This is the case with both the left and the right. For example, within left wing feminism the saying is "If you dump a girl after you got bored you are a jerk treating women like crap!" Translate the meaning of that "If you are dating a girl you are not interest in you keep leading her on. Otherwise, you are treating women like crap!" So, the focus is about whether it is a committed relationship. Not whether it is a real relationship. The same is applicable to the right. For example, Christian value is very anti divorce. They care not about whether it is a real relatioship or not, they force two people not right for each other to stay together and make each other suffer.
So, that is the thing about western value. It is culturally obsess with entering a committed relationship and never breakup, but care not about whether it is a real relationship. Culturally speaking, in the west we call this the "grown up thing to do." In contrast some other culture are very different, for example Asian culture doesn't value commitment. As the polar opposite Asian culture is about whether it is a real relationship and feel you got no need to be in a relationship if you not want to do so and when it is time to let go, of a relationship you let go. So, it isn't anti breakup or divorce.
Looking for a real relationoship is also what our pop culture call "just having fun."
Based on this mentlaity the concept of Nice Guy and Bad Boy is born. Thus, it is the concept of
"Guys willing to commit are great guys treating women well." (aka Nice Guy) and there are their female equals the (Nice Girls) Because they act in consistant with our western culture obsession with finding and staying in a committed relationship
"Guys that won't commit are jerks treating women like crap!" (aka Bad Boy e.g. Charlie from Two and a Half Men)
and their femaiel equals the Bad Girls (e.g. Penny from the Big Bang Theory or
"Guys that won't commit are immature" (aka Man Child e.g. Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory.)
Due to they act in contradiction with our culture obsession with finding and staying in a committed relationship
But, here is the reality, statistically up to 85% of men and women are in the Bad Boy and Bad Girl category. So, on the relationship scene they are more interest in a real relationship, what we culturally call "Just having fun" and care not about whether it is a commitment relationship. And 25% of the population both male and female are highly commitment phobic.
Only 10% are in the Nice Guy and Nice Girl category that want a committed relationship over a real relationship and also got no commitment phobic issue.
Taking a more academic approach towards it. What we culturally call a Nice Guy/Nice GIrl, is call "Anxiety Attachment Style" People of this category are very desperate for a committed relationship. But, care not about whether it is a real relationship.
The type of people call Bad Boy and Bad Girl are in the category of "Secure Attachment Style" or "Avoidance Attachment Style" These people prefer real relationship over a committed relationship. This is what we culturally call "just having fun" and what we culturally call a "player." 60% are in Secure Attachment Style." 25% in the "Avoidane Attachment Style" Avoidance Attachment Style people are also got a lot of fear towards commitment and intimacy. As a result, they are what we culturally call "Player that won't commit." While Secure Attachment Style people are just "Players." Even when/if these people get married, it is getting married for fun. Because, they love been together so much, they decided to be together. But, they are also perfectly fine if they are not together. Because, they got no need for a committed relationship and care not about commitments. Celebrity examples included Leighton Meester and Adam Brody and Keira Knightly and james righton.
Avoidance Attachment Style people "Player that won't commit type" prefer real relationship and fear commitments. They are more likely to be in situations that is a real relationship, but not a committed relationship. For example, if your parents are happily together for 30 years, but not married, chances are one of your parents is the Avoidance Attachment Style type what our culture call "Player that won't commit" type.
Secure Attachment Style people prefer real relationship and got no desire for committed relationship. But, they don't mind commitments.
Anxiety Attachment Style people are desperate for a committed relationship and care not about whether it is a real relationship. This unhealthy obsession sometimes turn them into horrible people e.g. Amber Heard or continue to kiss the ass of somebody not liking them in hope that he/she will be with them and not leave them e.g. Will Smith.
In addition there is distorted attachment style people making up 5% of the population. These people are also desperate for a committed relationship and care not about whether this is a real relationship. But, at the same time they are terrified of commitment. They are trap between a rock and a crazy place. Therefore, in some ways they resemble what our culture think of as a Nice Guy/Nice Girl (wanting to be in a committed relationship and won't let go.) and in other ways like the ultimate Bad Boy/Bad Girl (highly commitment phobic) These people are not categorized in our pop culture.
Because our western culture's obsession with commitments, it is very Anxiety Attachment Style oriented. This lead to the Bad Boy Trope and the Nice Guy Trope, where it is blindly in favor of the Nice Guy/Nice Girl. Due to that obsession with commitment, Anixety Attachment Style people often not able to see things from the other people's perspective. Therefore, ended up as entitled narcissist whinning assholes not respecting nor understanding other people's autonamy. And that spirit is reflected in our media.
Within the media Bad Boy Trope, they usually match up a Bad Boy and a Nice Girl. And argue that the Bad Boy is mistreating the Nice Girl. Because, the Nice Girl want a committed relationship with him, but the Bad Boy felt not the same way. This is despite the Bad Boy never misled the Nice Girl to think this is something serious. Sometimes the Bad Boy even let the girl understand he is not looking for anything serious right from the beginning. Examples of such included Charlie from Two and a Half Men and Barney from How I Met Your Mother.
In the Nice Guy Trope, they reverse it. They will have a Bad Girl and a Nice Guy. Examples included Robin (Bad Girl) and Ted (Nice Guy) in How I Met Your Mother and Penny (Bad Girl) and Leoanrd (Nice Guy) in Big Bang Theory.
Just like the Bad Boys, the Bad Girls are also players. Sometimes player that won't commit. And just like the Nice Girl wanting to be in a serious exclusive and committed relationship with the Bad Boy ASAP, the Nice Guy want the same thing with the Bad Girl. But, much like how Bad Boys like Charlie and Barney felt not the same way. the Bad GIrl also felt not the same way. At this instance, they represent the Nice Guy as the victim and the Bad Girl as the villain for breaking his heart. This is despite much like the Bad Boy, the Bad Girl didn't mislead him. For example, Robin in How I Met Your Mother told Ted that she doesn't want to get married and have kids right from the beginning. Penny let Leonard understand that she is not interest very early on, it is Leonard that won't take no for an answer.
In the media they also let the Nice Girl be the representation of all women. This is despite in the real world they are only 10% of the population and 85% of women are in the Bad Girl category. They are not interest in seeking a committed relationship, they just want a bit of fun.
But, because, our media pushed for an idea that Nice Girl is a representation of all women, it push for the idea that this is what all women are suppose to be like. So, when they met a Bad Girl, they can't understand how they are different from how all women are suppose to be like. And when they try to connect with the Bad Girl by giving her what the Nice Girl want, she is not interest and he can't understand why he can't connect with her. And ended up choosing the Bad Boy that is not willing to offer the Nice Girl what the she wants, while he is willing to offer it?
That's called assertiveness.
This is so important: "Some people are addicted to their own stress hormones." Really important point and spoken clearly, as usual with this channel. Healing from peptide addiction is so important.
People be dating at sixteen and there i was wondering how the hell i would pass organic chemistry and physics at that age.
You had your priorities straight!
Just remember that Benzene is C6H6 with three carbon double bonds.
@@farisakhtar4824 also remember *resonance*
Its simple:
Develop confidence, independence, and be a fun or interesting person to hang around.
All that confidence, independence, fun, and being interesting won't mean jack if you're not tall, strong, and good-looking.
@@philmstud2k Looks get you through the door, not in bed
So your saying to develop a narcissistic personality? Be something your not.
@@TapiaJ No, everyone needs to be confident, everyone needs to independent, and you may not have a sense of humor but you should at least be interesting enough to be around.
@@nicholaspowell9309 so let your guard down. And hopefully you dont let in toxic people. Got it.
Courtney is a class act. I never go in for the topic, but always for the vibe.
Definitely
Girls who end up with bad boys are alone single mothers by 30 and in a difficult situation regarding the dating game moving forward for the rest of their lives. 😊
Courtney was with a bad boy and that isn’t the case. Maybe you should listen to her.
Not at all. Even the good girls married by 21 usually her first boyfriend was some druggie, criminal type. Not alpha at all but antisocial. Her teenage prime self just wanted to break the rules so antisocial men get the women best years.
In the 7th Grade, I fell for a certain bad girl. I found her looks and her energy sexy, but I practically moved on after nothing was happening between us. It turns out that she actually had a baby with a bad boy type BEFORE high school graduation. It practically deleted her from the entire class due to the shame. I would have never wanted that for her.
there will be always a nice guy to take care of them
Amazing! They deserve it!🎉
A rich man can change a poor women's life in one night, but a rich woman would never even look in a direction of a poor man
Man you said that.. Is so beautiful ahaa aaa aaaa :'( Wow this is so smart and make point
*BARS*
Let me guess the poor woman is hot
Unless the poor man is attractive
Sometimes a "bad boy", isn't always bad. Some are genuinely good guys who either are just free-spirited, risk taking, and rebellious by nature or dudes who been through quite a lot and at least puts in some healing to become a better man type shit. "Bad boys" aren't always bad news. Perhaps a bad boy with a good heart can end up having a long term relationship
great point
Hi, greetings to you from Nigeria 🇳🇬,am lucy and this is my first to meet you on RUclips,l saw your profile pic and I really love what I saw.l hope you wouldn't mind,can we be friends
If so DM me
100% brother, a “bad boy” is subjective, it could be pure selfishness, goals/hobby driven men that tend not to put women on a pedestal, or after being hurt, they just simply don’t know how to anymore 😢
Staying away from such used bags will save alot of your time and mental health
I’d rather be a single man
Then settle for a used Up Woman
rent.. dont buy
"Bad Boy Phase" is a Precursor to "Ex Wife Phase"
I heard a very interesting quote from Myron Gaines on the fresh and fit podcast where he said that women look for qualities in men that they lack in themselves. Hence why they want a guy whose confident, ambitious, got money or status. It's not a bad boy they want at all. It's the behavior and energy those men exudes.
Also if the woman grew up without a good father figure; that will impact her dating choices. Which ties directly in the brilliant perspective you gave us here Courtney. I think guys should stop complaining about women who don't want them and focus on the ones who do.
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
F&f podcast is also run by morons who only bring onlyfans/instagram models at a 10 plus rating out of 10. What do you think these girls will be like?
@@noremac0575 Miami is pretty ratchet but often the broad themes are universal. women are more or less all the same
@@noremac0575 no one would watch if they brought in fatties and uglies
Sure thing!
I heard it articulated once upon a time that bad boys make them feel more emotionally connected and more invested. The nice guys are so predictable sometimes that they lose track of connection.
This can definitely be true if someone feels connection through uncertainty and chaos!
@@CourtneyRyan i know it’s a little high-handed, but it seems like a dog chasing cars to me. They don’t know what to do if they actually catch one. xD
@@norcalirob1978 The Joker said that in The Dark Knight. Lol
Dating is this way now. Chaos becomes the normal.
How a person is raised makes a huge difference
These videos are so refreshing filled with pearls of wisdom. Courtney is such a genuine woman with so much common sense and honesty.
@Cmndr Roy Fokker actions speak louder than words. Your totally right.
@Cmndr Roy Fokker I would say you don't know the woman, neither do I. Listen to what she says but you can't trust someone you don't know. Take advice objectively, even from (maybe especially from) an unknown woman.
@Cmndr Roy Fokker Don't think Instagram is fake and toxic, but following girls on there probably is because there's a lot of fake people on there. But just because she uses Instagram doesn't make her a fake in of itself. Too general.
@Cmndr Roy Fokker If you think so. I think I understand women better than you though. You have no perspective, except 'Don't listen to women' Are you a simp who's making up for it by any chance?
“I thought I could change him”
Ohh boy. I’ve heard that so many times. I’d probably have a few thousand dollars every time I heard that.
Ironically, I thought the same way about women too. I thought maybe if I put in the effort to show interest, she may actually change to something she might like more with me than others she went after.
I was the kind of guy that thought, "If things don't work out or if you want to change your mind, I'll be around the block." Not that this ever worked, but it amused me to see if I could change a girl that I liked back in school.
Correct, and if the girl transforms him, she leaves.
Change for someone should come as a natural evolution of a good relationship and not something that you have to force upon yourself or someone else.
My wife and I are different than we were when we first met and we made little to no effort to change. We just evolved together.
great vid!
👏🏼 I love this comment. Spot on!
Well I’m mildly bad. I a little crooked but I have a heart of gold. I will fight for my friends and family. It’s ok to be nice but you gotta stick up for yourself when you need to.
A few years ago I was in a relationship with a woman that ended up becoming very unhealthy for both of us. Something I remember her saying back then was that when it came to guys, she liked a challenge. After things ended with us, she immediately bounced to a guy who was proud to be an asshole. I couldn't understand it. I do now.
lol. Major red flag when girls treat relationships as a “hobby”. One girl I was messing with said she sees love as a game. that’s when I knew this b***h was no good.
@@MJ87808 😂😂😂😂
Women like men that are mysterious and keep them on their toes about where they stand. They like the thrill and the feeling of earning him... in the end they end up getting used.
With nice men you know where you stand and they are too predictable and boring...
@@nicke2307
Predictable and boring in what way? Most of us lead pretty normal lives. I mean, it's not like we're James Bond. Why is it then that someone who's nice is automatically predictable and boring? Obviously that's not true, but I'm just trying to understand what people are getting at when they throw these arbitrary labels on people, who have complex and varied personalities, habits, interests, etc.
#2 is so interesting and comes from psychoanalysis and is talked about a lot in general. The theory goes, we are subconsciously attracted to people who are familiar - maybe they resemble a parent, or they foster the same environment you had in childhood. Familiarity is comfortable and it's easy to be attracted to that. It might not be best for you or what you want, but of course it also might be! Only you can make that choice. So be mindful of this so it can be a more informed choice :)
Exactly!!! It runs very deep.
Hi, greetings to you from Nigeria,am lucy and this is my first time to meet you here on RUclips,l saw your pics and I really love what I saw,can we be friends I hope you wouldn't mind
Just be you. Don’t change yourself. 💪
I appreciate your perspective and it seems applicable. Unfortunately, we live in a world where theory and reality are two different things.
Men, play the game or get played.
There is only one reason: self-confidence.
To women with major issues, "bad boys" come off as way more confident than other men, and that's hard to resist. Women with good personalities want a nice guy who is also confident, and unfortunately those guys are pretty rare.
can they honestly not tell that those guys are huge narcissists? its so obvious if you just look at them for a second. the way they dress, walk, talk. they only love themselves. nobody else. not even their mothers.
Dating "bad boys and fun girls" are part of growing up in a way. I really like the psychology part of your content- very well rounded channel. How someone treats you shows much about them but whether you chose to allow it is a reflection of you.
Spot on 👏🏼 thank you!
@Courtney Green good question i also wanna know
@Courtney Green hi Courtney! No way, that’s awesome. A ton of names are unisex these days and nothing to worry about. I think it’s cool 😎 I’m going to do another video on hairstyles because I only chose 5 for that video and I left a ton out! Stay tuned 😊
A lot of bad boys and fun girls are so philosophically damaged when they get older. They don’t know how to behave in stable environments.
They can be damaged when It comes to real relationships
Great video. I remember when I was younger I was going after toxic girls because they often had the best energy on the outside and they were often the prettiest on the outwardly any way. I would be willing to change who I was just to get their attention! Now I know it's all about a man and woman raising each other up, supporting each other, loving each other despite their flaws. Find that person
While I understand you might not be saying that we should settle for being a consolation prize that’s literally whats happening with the bad boy phase. The bad boy phase is literally the “good guys” being overlooked until the bad boy phase is over. Which is usually after said phase has left the women in question mentally/emotionally scarred enough to decide that they finally want a “good guy”.
I had a leather jacket just like the thumbnail, every time I wore it I would get stare from girls and many times any girl would open the glass door for me if anyone saw me coming through the door, first time it happened I was like she is warm inside and I am in the winter outside, she is just being nice but then it happened many times in many places. Leather jacket and khaki jacket works like a charm for me.
@Peter Jordanson No, I think it would be same. I am good looking in general and if I wear high status clothes it gets more attention.
Women are not blinded by the bad boy phase!! They are literally obsessed with them and they would laugh at the guy who is sweet and kind to them!! They will never feel lucky to have a nice guy because they don't mess with their emotions!! Once everything is perfect that's when they leave!!
I'm done with chasing anybody. Everyone's in the friend zone
"Dating a couple people could be beneficial." "[...] to learn what you want, and what you don't want."
I understand where you are coming from Courtney, but I find myself only partially being able to agree with you on this one. Perhaps an elaboration / clarification on what is defined as a "couple" people is important. Many women overdue this because it is much easier for them to test the waters this way than men, and it goes far beyond a couple people.
I don't believe it is necessary for a woman to sleep with a bunch of guys to learn what she wants. Common sense dictates she should have a pretty good idea of this already. Also in doing so, she risks becoming a low value woman. No high value man wants a woman who has "been around" and the same holds true for women regarding men.
Your interpretation, and the misconception many have regarding "bad boys" is spot on.
"Constant Chaos" in a relationship. I agree with everything you said, and more. I have experienced this with a person in my past. If drama is not present, they will create it where is doesn't exist. It is simply a highly toxic relationship, and is always doomed to fail.
Once again, nicely done Courtney.....💖
'Bad boys' get called as such often when they are driven and on their mission and purpose, rather than constantly looking after the emotional needs of women. Sometimes when they're being honest and direct and abrupt, instead of sugar coating their intentions. I know that many girls prefer that honesty to the feminine energy of being emotionally involved and relationship focused, and many girls enjoy the idea of their man being stable and blasting out their mission. Girls feminine energy is drawn to this masculine energy and girls want to be near guys like this who value themselves above all. Often, 'bad boys' are not 'bad' at all, they're just being too masculine and in this day and age many women don't like this and expect their partner to be a feminine, emotional sponge
I am driven with a mission and a purpose, but I will not put up with ANY WOMAN who even the slightest DRAGS ME DOWN!!! They slip up and they are OUTTA HERE!!!
Everything she says I have experienced in my life. Very well explained. Women showcase their maturity by the men that they choose.
I always wondered about this topic. We are advised to think (dating experts) to be a decent person to attract. Also, that fact that a girl can spot a manipulator right away. But it is a paradox that 'some' girls fall for a bad boy. The takeaway from this video is that such girls who chose bad boys have their own issues. Not all girls are the same just like guys are.
Those women have I AM TOO STUPID SO I AM GOING TO FUCK UP MY LIFE ISSUES!!!
As someone in a stable relationship with no end in sight, I have no idea why I am watching this content, but for some reason it is absolutely fascinating.
This is good content.
Courtney is an attractive woman, soft spoken, and with a submissive demeanor who knows how to finesse. That could be a reason lmao?
Be a civilised good hearted bad boy
Just like fruit sweetest on inside and hard from out
Who really knows how to have control on emotions 🙏
I think one the the biggest problems between men and women is evidenced by statistics found on dating sites that show that only the top 20% of men are getting 80% of the matches with women. Leading them to compete with that small number of men who have many options. On similar surveys women found 80% of men to be less attractive then they considered themselves.
I love how Courtney bridges the gap between these red pill coaches who tell us to treat women like garbage and these Simp dating coaches who believe women are queens who can’t do any wrong. She holds both parties accountable and provides solutions to fix the dating culture problem. The gender war is stupid and we should embrace positivity in order for us to have thriving relationships.
She’s delusional too
@@kriskuhn4687 no she’s not, she provides insightful information to help us men out
@@kriskuhn4687 that's an understatement.
She just tried to sell an idea with psychobabble nonsense. So, I suppose after all of the "girls with unresolved issues " bullshit, I should assume that she went to therapy for a couple of years and got straightened out enough to settle for her beta boytoy.
@@gregmacklin9758 Honestly, good on her for going to therapy and fixing her damage. She may have an average man as a husband but shes smart and isnt chasing that silly dream of an unattainable man. Hopefully She'll have a happy life.
@@Jenson22swift If you want insightful information go read "The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi "
This will help you understand women.
You mentioned a lot of women that go for bad boys have some issue they need to work through. My experience (and seems like a lot of guys) is that it seems like A LOT of women are like this, then as everyone says, they complain about how they are treated but then run right back to that same type. It also doesn't help that there are guys (and one woman! Not you) that sell 'coaching plans' that TELL guys to treat women bad!
Fyi, I'll stand up for all innocent Brad's & Chad's out there.
Screen, screen, and then screen again. Lol. Stay far away from women who did not have a positive relationship w their father if you want a healthy relationship (assuming you’re emotionally intelligent). Period. They will be toxic. Not having a positive male figure growing up to teach, provide security, and guidance tends to wreak havoc on relationships and be chaotic after the amazing dopamine honeymoon stage. It’s a sad truth 🤷♀️
hell yeah source of problem " non positive relationship w their father"
“Often girls are blinded by guys who seem really nice at the beginning but then ends up being a bad boy and manipulative” then......”I know there are good guys out there too. I can speak from personal experience on that as well I get so many amazing comments and dms from so many of you guys....”.
Since these guys give her nice compliments in her dm’s they’re great guys lol So delusional
Great point, when courtney mentioned this, all i can think of was famous serial killer ted bundy.....and guess what happened when they fell for his tricks, dead! in a way when girls fall for bad guys....it can be very scary....falling for famous serial killers who have high body counts....oh brother! you know that all this stems from hybristophilia right?
Authentic and facts. I'm settling only for a healthy relationship. You cant change someone and shouldn't try to.
What you said at 2:30 is interesting and really shows how abstract the manosphere narrative is. There was a RUclipsr interviewing hot girls to get them to agree on “red pill” theory. One girl in her early 20s was asked true or false, women go after bad boys when they’re young and settle for nice guys once they hit the wall. “True.” “Next question, at what age do women hit the wall?” In her mind SHE ALREADY hit the wall. Which makes her initial answer completely irrelevant.
It immediately caught my interest when you said that you yourself are with a "nice
guy" good guy. It is not simply about being with a "bad boy" or a "nice guy" ergo one
of the extremes, I would say it is more about being with a good guy who is the best of
both worlds someone who does nice things for you but can also set a boundry, be solid in
what he says and also say no
I myself am dealing depression and so on because of a lot of different reasons one of them being
the fact that about five years ago I met a beautiful young woman who found me to be very attractive
and I guess you could say became addicted to me. All while I was wearing a "mask" to show everyone
how happy I was when in reality I was and still am a wreck. Who has a LOT of healing work to do so I
can relate to this video with a reverse situation me being the "bad boy" five years ago. Not to mention
keeping up the facade of the "mask" that developed into a "bad boy", was utterly exhausting every night
I would have moments of coming back to my genuine self and feeling drained, exhausted you name it.
So yeah you are very correct about what you say in this video which is amazing by the way.
Guys, build self-worth and self-discipline, girls are going to come and go, but your relationship with yourself matters the most.
Make her a PART of your life, NOT your WHOLE LIFE.
Associate with HIGH QUALITY People and make mistakes while you're young, no one is going to care about your failures in your 20s but you probably won't get a second chance in your 30s.
Confident, strong, but not manipulative!!
It's like some kind of a competition to win that bad boy and prove to her self she's the hottest one even though she knows he has multiple girl friends and yet he doesn't give a damn about any one of them only to satisfy he needs and move on 🤙🏽
guess that makes sense yeah. they also just have bad taste in men though. and daddy issues.
The problem is that many women aren't mature enough to get out of the bad boy phase early. They get into it, start becoming addicted to it, stay in it for 10-20 years, wash up and have the AUDACITY to say "Where'd all the good men go"?
I used to work in an office by the county jail and just about every day I'd see a young, hot woman going into the jail to, presumably, see her bad-boy boyfriend. Most of them wore tight, revealing outfits so they probably were not attorneys.
Lol
Woman☕️
Great video. We’re all finding out more and more of what we want and don’t want through experience. The things you don’t want in a partner help you identify and understand what you DO want in a partner. The more you enjoy the process of figuring it out, the more fun you’ll have in life and the happier you’ll be. Let’s stop being so hard on ourselves and those we are dating, and just enjoy the journey of discovering our preferences and gaining clarity about what we like.
Isn’t it sad to think all the nice guys out there that are single. I’ve essentially “given up” because the only girls I seem attracted to are bad girls. Kind of the complete opposite of what you’re talking about
They not even just attracted to bad girls most of the girls in general just like bad guys
@@kennyr1161 my comment was for me personally. I’m saying every time I try to get into a serious relationship it seems I pick the wrong women. I’ve essentially given up trying I’d rather stay single and not get emotionally involved and hurt. I know it’s because of the type of women I pursue but I can’t help what I’m attracted to and unfortunately they are ones that are not ready for commitment or enjoy attention from other guys or just down right don’t want to be in a committed relationship. So to save myself from the heartache I’ve chosen to be non commital and have no emotional attachment. Being straight forward with this in the beginning has proved good for both me and the girl I’m seeing at the time but it doesn’t help me find a life partner.
These types of women might have that behavior because they are attractive enough (physically) and they know that they have options, and since they can't figure out whom to choose when they have too many options, and since there may be a more attractive and "better" one around the corner, they become manipulative and/or play around instead of committing to one person. Attractive "bad" boys can have the same mindset, too.
Of course, I can be wrong, but from what I've seen and read, this is the conclusion that I have arrived at (so far).
@@Incognit0777 completely agree with you
@@whitebuffalo6071 are these women super attractive? If you're frequently finding yourself only attracted to those that means your self esteem is likely low.
You must've been heavily hit hard earlier by the rejection/disappointment of that first one you went for then you subconsciously wanted to convince yourself.
Men, do not hesitate for one moment to put a restraining order against your female partner if you feel your safety and health is in jeopardy. Placing a permanent restraining order on my female ex-partner was absolutely the wisest protective move of my adult lifetime. My only regret is not doing it years earlier. Men, be safe!
In reality, bad boy = good looks=genetic lottery. Because of good looks young women want to date them!! Because of over supply of women, they don't care about women.
Confident alpha dominant etc doesn't matter at young age if you are 6"4 athlete.
Bad boy is not looks. It's a personality.
I was dating an older woman occasionally when I was 20, and these times I was really bad boy ( idiot). She knew my criminal issues, and when we saw each other after a while, I told her that I have changed, I have a real job, and arranged my life etc. She was so disappointed that I couldn't believe.
I have a female coworker who told me, "Guys want a good girl who will be a bad girl in bed. Girls want a bad boy that only they can tame into a good guy." I think this adds to what you were saying. Of course, there's also guys who want to be as sexually active as a porn star, but marry a virgin. Our fantasies don't always make sense. Love your video, your outfit and your smile! Have a great day!
@Michael Thomas My argument? lol "... a female coworker who told me..." is her POV/opinion.
Besides, there's lots of flaws you can find in just about any behavior; doesn't mean people don't repeat it time after time, year after year, century after century.
Can't believe how much wisdom you have for someone your age.
In short ... Toxic attracts toxic
Correct
Correct, toxic attracts to toxic.
I don't want to be a nice guy or see myself as a nice guy, I'm just happy to be a guy you like and want to be with.
Some women grow out of that stage after 1 bad boy bf, others after 15 or 20 or 50 of them.
Seems to be a common topic for some reason but she is spot on when she says you shouldn't be chasing after someone who clearly doesn't want you and you shouldn't want to be with a woman who is doing that anyway. I've been married for a long time so it doesn't affect me but when I was single that was pretty much my take on it. Why waste any emotional energy on that? Just move on.
I have wondered if this happens: Some girls have their first sexual experience with a bad boy, who is not intimidated by anyone and has an edge of criminality about him, and the relationship is very intense and imprints on their minds; that then results in the girl in later life trying to recreate that experience, and treating less "exciting" men with overt or concealed disdain.
Yes, that can happen. If a girl has had a past relationship with a very Alpha guy who left her, she can become an ”Alpha Widow”, who will always future compare relationships to that one.
Amen. Totally true.
Why does nobody say that women attracted to bad boys is just poor judgement?
👍 Good video.
Personal change is not always bad.
Sometimes they really care for you.
Listening to some suggestions would have saved me 20+yrs of "The Good Life"
Whoa boy howdy... #3 is so true. I can't tell you how many times a girl was clearly interested in me, was with someone else talking about how bad he is, cheats on her, all kinds of stuff... and I'm hinting at what she already knows: I'm into her. I'll even tell them: "Look, this isn't even for my benefit, since you know I'm interested... but for you and you alone, you NEED to ditch this guy." That NEVER happens. Sometimes it's 1, 2, 3, or a mix in my experience. That said, I think many women naturally do #3 with ALL men, bad boy or not. My advice is to prolong changing for as long as possible... unless she's amazing and trustworthy, because another "change request" IS coming once you change the first thing. Changing too easily... probably won't be a good thing for you passed making her temporarily happy... but a good woman wouldn't do that, focusing on the "not good enough"s all the time. This can get toxic pretty quickly if handled poorly. That said, a good woman does deserve you putting effort in and you should eventually bend/change for her. Try to have fun with her about what she wants you to change for a while.
Playing sport also teaches you alot about life. The "bad boy" is the one who has his desires in check and is realising his potential which naturally comes with financial, spiritual and mental success. A man must be focused on his goals not being a bad boy. I laugh at bad boys. They boys. Not men
You are so helpful, Courtney. It’s obvious you care about us.
I'd like to see you on a Freshandfit podcast
@Michael Thomas Woooow, that would be… Interesting. 😆
She'd be the only one to NOT use a single cuss word
She might end up dragging the party thots and getting the boys to give a little more room for unicorns. 😆 She’s incredibly well composed for her age.
@@jpoeng yeah she looks calm in her videos but during live afterhours she might be more extroverted
@@putlerkaputt9201 😆 True true…. She kinda has the vibe of a chick who keeps it really chill until you really piss her off, and then she’ll light your ass up like a Christmas tree… 🤣
Courtie can you please make a video on guys with social anxiety? I believe it's much worse for guys suffering from SAD as compared to girls, hence we really need your advice on this🙏🏻
I think Anxiety really sucks for girls too. Just like with guys it stops them feeling attractive, they can't form relationships, they misinterpret cues.
Also forgot to mention....I think u should make a personal library tour...showcase ur choice of novels...that would be cool
I can do that!
Thank you for caring and taking the time to help people. You do make a difference!
This has to be ur fav outfit 😄🤩have seen u in this many times...It's cute
Haha I do like it 😂👏🏼
@Rodent's Revenge dude u have a dirty mind😳😬
My thoughts "EXACTLY"!
@@CourtneyRyan so do I! 😘📱
Glad I grew up bad lol and a not give a dam attitude but I'm married now so.... Yea but my persona actually still works even being married, everything requires balance.😂
Im 45 i been a bad boy since i was 16 ..
I have not met any chick who was average looking or above average looking who didnt fall inlove with out toxic traits.
The women who i had the longest relationships were women who chased me.
Courtney can you make a video on why guys like "Bad Girls"? 🤣
Yes! Haha 😆
Because they’re hot. Done.
@@michaelcorleone1298 Facts 💯 🤣
Because they look good, that's it. Not really about any other "thrills", "chases" or whatever.
However, men should learn to respect themselves and not simp for thots, but it takes thinking with the upper head, not the lower one.
because theyre easy
Women don't change because they suddenly stopped liking a bad boy... they don't have a choice... they have to settle
If I don't get a gf because I'm nice guy then I don't want one
Being a nice guy/good guy is a good thing. Don’t change!
@@CourtneyRyan bs/ cap
@@CourtneyRyan Being a nice guy is like being an average guy to most women!! They'll go after the Brads and Chads (WITHOUT BEING BLINDED) and then they'll look for the nice guy to use for resources!! They'll get married, the wife will make rules, the guy will receive less sex and still has to pay for it unlike the Chads who got it for free, they'll have kids then the wife will get bored for whatever reason, she divorces him and takes half his life away!! The house and lifestyle he worked hard for will mean nothing!!! He still has to pay for the house he doesn't live in, alimony and child support for the kids he can't even see every day!! This is why nice guys finish last and this bs that you and society keep telling us that "every woman wants a man to treat me with love and respect" is a myth!!! End of convo.
@@mlctv6547 being a good guy or nice guy isn’t bad. It’s only bad when you use it towards women who only surround themselves with assholes. A good guy can pull a Courtney no problem.
@@quiksc0pe139 how many Courtneys exist tho? I would happily date a Courtney no problem but how many of them exist?
The guy who is able to stand up against the bad boy with still being good is the ultimate winner. The bad boy is not the winner just temporarily. You can be a solid man that handles it all.
You just described every scene with Chris & Adrianna from The Sopranos.
I just finished watching the scene where Silvio murders Adriana
Hahahahaha true
Old skool tv 📺
@@jorgegutierrez4426 out of camera. I don't know why. Because she's a woman?
@@malakbrood667 much worse have been done to women on screeen, 🤐.
It’s all about the confidence who doesn’t like a confident person
Most Nice guys lack confidence
When men talk about women frequently going after “bad boys” they are usually talking about guys with all the cultivated image of high level male without the substance of one. The guy who cultivates an athlete image with body fat percentage and clothes but is average or below at any sport. The tough guy that has never been in a fight and cusses and cries when he stubs his toe. The guy with the clothes, car, etc of a financial high level but not the actual high level income. The “rock star” with no musical talent. The bad boy thing is really women chasing phony images of masculinity over realty. No man is mystified by a beautiful woman dating a real pro athlete or rockstar. Unfortunately, women who can’t tell image from substance by early 20s often never can. She won’t see the substance of the man that works hard at his job and comes home to her over that guy the flirts with her at her job when he should be working.
Great video, Courtney!!! I 100% agree with everything but I think the point that stuck the biggest chord was what you said about what we learn from incompatible relationships. I have had just one partner to date. Since we spilt in 2016 I have realised how different we were, seen her bad points and realised it lasted as long as it did because of our issues and insecurities especially my own. I have spent the last 2 and half years working on myself. Now I am not far off moving from the UK to Ireland and start a new life. Finding new friends and a new partner. A healthier and more compatible partner!!!
congrats,I've been following u for a while and I can't believe your channel is growing this fast,ur doing a great job and u really deserve it✌✌♥♥
She does.. She is such a lovely person.. I have been following her for a while now too... God bless her.
"Some sort of issues they need to work on".....you are so kind.
You just need to learn which women are worth some of your time. I'd rather be flying solo then riding with crazy 🤪
It's the confidence for 100%, it's a fine line between arrogance but when you walk that line so to speak you'll get a LOT more attention and just in general you will feel better in a group of people. Girls notice this the most out of all things a guy has to offer, it's not just the clothes guys or your job/car.
girls who dont realize that guys who walk this line are narcissists or faking it just to get laid, deserve what they get.
Thank you Courtney for making such a good videos and very impressed by your support.. Keep on supporting . 😍😍😘
On a side note, if you are dating someone because you want to change him/her, that means that you will lose interest in this person if you do succeed, because he changed into someone that you are no longer attracted to.
And besides, if you are dating a broken person in order to fix him, then he knows that the only reason that you are interested in him is because he is broken, so he has no incentive to fix his problems; if he fixes himself, then you will feel like your mission has been accomplished, and you will lose interest in your completed project (on to save the next broken person!).. He knows this, so he will stay broken in order to keep your interest.