I would also add a really important but simple point. Women are generally attracted by masculine men and bad boys generally have a lot of masculine characteristics. But if you're a good guy that take care of yourself and you are working on your masculine characteristics, you'll have no problem to attract women, and more importantly, GOOD women. Remember, being a nice guy is not a problem, being a simp is !
I will NOT pretend to be a "bad boy" to get any woman. If she cannot accept me for being a loving caring strong & powerful nice man, she can take a hike.
The following is a “what if”. I don’t know you nor do I pretend to know you. But “what if” you deliberately wanted to pursue a one night stand? Would you go through the motions of behaving like a bad boy just to achieve that?
so, here you are rev dude, here you are saying you are "loving,caring, strong" and at the same time telling women to "take a hike" - and you get the heart reaction from Courtney Ryan! thus proving that the only way to get noticed is telling women to "take a hike" AKA bad boy. In real life, nice men do not tell women to "take a hike" . nice men want women and everyone else to know they are valuable people
@@MrAnarchris I think by saying "take a hike", he means that in a way where he values himself. That's not a bad boy thing, it's a matter of having so much self respect, that you refuse to change just to get a woman to want you.👌
@@GEORGIOARCADE but it all boils down to how lucky you were born Gotta be born with that chissled jawline to be attractive and for women to validate you as a bad boy
Sometymes it'z lookz'👔🌹🍷🍷💰💸💰💸💰.....However I LOVE, being myself more now.......FROM MY EXPERIENCES🌹🌘....PLUS....I'M OVER 40.....IT'Z BOUTZ' ME'......KNOTT' JUS' PRAISING...EVERY'🌹🍷🍷💋 LADY.....I PREFER LADIEZ...OVER 30YRS...ESTABLISHED_SOPHISTICATED....EXCEPTIONS....27YRS💋🌹👠CAREER-ORIENTED.....MINDSET....FOUNDATION....SECURE-W/SELF/FINANCIALLY.....KNOTT'💸💰💸💰💸👠🍷🍷🍷HIGH-WHORE🌘🌹MAINTENANCE-IDENTITIEZ.....
Being selfish and doing things for yourself are two different things. People tend to classify you as selfish maybe because you don't do things for them and only think about yourself. But the truth is, you HAVE to think and do things for yourself first. You are the most important person in your life.
Chris i agree with what you said because if we are being honest; women look for men who have qualities they lack or could use more of hence confidence, leadership. People call this kinda guy a "bad boy" but got it mixed up with a guy whose a rude, fake nice person with a cocky attitude. At least that's how i see it
I did date a couple of women who were single moms at one time when I was younger. The first told me she was divorced but that was a lie after about a month. The next was honest that she had gotten pregnant at the end of high school. Both became difficult later because they wanted me to foot the bill to support them. They kept talking about their exes and intimacy and sex was bad because they kept comparing me with their Bad Boy relationships. They were both toxic. I stayed away from women with kids after that.
This is so important: "Some people are addicted to their own stress hormones." Really important point and spoken clearly, as usual with this channel. Healing from peptide addiction is so important.
I was madly in love with a woman and I treated her like a queen, which she loved . Then she broke my heart and married her abusive ex BF a week later. You really nailed this for me, I needed this. Thank you again, Courtney!
No woman is a “queen” so don’t treat them as such. The only woman to treat with that level of respect is your mother. Your wife is and always should be your equal, no more, no less - however a “queen” is always above you. Big difference.
In my experience with girls, it's okay to be a nice guy, but a nice guy with confidence who stands up for himself, not a doormat who does whatever the girl wants. Also making her laugh is crucially important. With my gf I am constantly cracking jokes and sending her memes and funny texts to make her laugh. Or sometimes (as weird as it might sound) I will tickle or poke her in public. She told me she actually really likes that.
In my experience it is really definition by opposition. Nice Guy and Bad Boy is a left wing media constructed concept. But, it doesn't truly represent the idea of a good person or a bad person. Adding to the irony, very often the Nice Guy are horrible stalkers and the Bad Boys are the actual good people. I've seen it all the time. In my experience, the reason that girls like Bad Boys is very simple. Most real life women are also Bad Girls. Bad Girls like Bad Boys and Bad Boys like Bad Girls. It is that simple. To go into more detail, the concept of "Nice Guy" and "Bad Boy" is a pop culture contrast origined from Left Wing media, with a feminism agenda in mind, it doesn't truly represent an idea of good people or bad people. Ironically, most people fit the pop culture "Nice Guy" definition are usually horrible people and those fit the "Bad Boy" definition are usually good people. This is very due to our western culture is oriented towards looking for a committed relationship over a real relationship. This is the case with both the left and the right. For example, within left wing feminism the saying is "If you dump a girl after you got bored you are a jerk treating women like crap!" Translate the meaning of that "If you are dating a girl you are not interest in you keep leading her on. Otherwise, you are treating women like crap!" So, the focus is about whether it is a committed relationship. Not whether it is a real relationship. The same is applicable to the right. For example, Christian value is very anti divorce. They care not about whether it is a real relatioship or not, they force two people not right for each other to stay together and make each other suffer. So, that is the thing about western value. It is culturally obsess with entering a committed relationship and never breakup, but care not about whether it is a real relationship. Culturally speaking, in the west we call this the "grown up thing to do." In contrast some other culture are very different, for example Asian culture doesn't value commitment. As the polar opposite Asian culture is about whether it is a real relationship and feel you got no need to be in a relationship if you not want to do so and when it is time to let go, of a relationship you let go. So, it isn't anti breakup or divorce. Looking for a real relationoship is also what our pop culture call "just having fun." Based on this mentlaity the concept of Nice Guy and Bad Boy is born. Thus, it is the concept of "Guys willing to commit are great guys treating women well." (aka Nice Guy) and there are their female equals the (Nice Girls) Because they act in consistant with our western culture obsession with finding and staying in a committed relationship "Guys that won't commit are jerks treating women like crap!" (aka Bad Boy e.g. Charlie from Two and a Half Men) and their femaiel equals the Bad Girls (e.g. Penny from the Big Bang Theory or "Guys that won't commit are immature" (aka Man Child e.g. Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory.) Due to they act in contradiction with our culture obsession with finding and staying in a committed relationship But, here is the reality, statistically up to 85% of men and women are in the Bad Boy and Bad Girl category. So, on the relationship scene they are more interest in a real relationship, what we culturally call "Just having fun" and care not about whether it is a commitment relationship. And 25% of the population both male and female are highly commitment phobic. Only 10% are in the Nice Guy and Nice Girl category that want a committed relationship over a real relationship and also got no commitment phobic issue. Taking a more academic approach towards it. What we culturally call a Nice Guy/Nice GIrl, is call "Anxiety Attachment Style" People of this category are very desperate for a committed relationship. But, care not about whether it is a real relationship. The type of people call Bad Boy and Bad Girl are in the category of "Secure Attachment Style" or "Avoidance Attachment Style" These people prefer real relationship over a committed relationship. This is what we culturally call "just having fun" and what we culturally call a "player." 60% are in Secure Attachment Style." 25% in the "Avoidane Attachment Style" Avoidance Attachment Style people are also got a lot of fear towards commitment and intimacy. As a result, they are what we culturally call "Player that won't commit." While Secure Attachment Style people are just "Players." Even when/if these people get married, it is getting married for fun. Because, they love been together so much, they decided to be together. But, they are also perfectly fine if they are not together. Because, they got no need for a committed relationship and care not about commitments. Celebrity examples included Leighton Meester and Adam Brody and Keira Knightly and james righton. Avoidance Attachment Style people "Player that won't commit type" prefer real relationship and fear commitments. They are more likely to be in situations that is a real relationship, but not a committed relationship. For example, if your parents are happily together for 30 years, but not married, chances are one of your parents is the Avoidance Attachment Style type what our culture call "Player that won't commit" type. Secure Attachment Style people prefer real relationship and got no desire for committed relationship. But, they don't mind commitments. Anxiety Attachment Style people are desperate for a committed relationship and care not about whether it is a real relationship. This unhealthy obsession sometimes turn them into horrible people e.g. Amber Heard or continue to kiss the ass of somebody not liking them in hope that he/she will be with them and not leave them e.g. Will Smith. In addition there is distorted attachment style people making up 5% of the population. These people are also desperate for a committed relationship and care not about whether this is a real relationship. But, at the same time they are terrified of commitment. They are trap between a rock and a crazy place. Therefore, in some ways they resemble what our culture think of as a Nice Guy/Nice Girl (wanting to be in a committed relationship and won't let go.) and in other ways like the ultimate Bad Boy/Bad Girl (highly commitment phobic) These people are not categorized in our pop culture. Because our western culture's obsession with commitments, it is very Anxiety Attachment Style oriented. This lead to the Bad Boy Trope and the Nice Guy Trope, where it is blindly in favor of the Nice Guy/Nice Girl. Due to that obsession with commitment, Anixety Attachment Style people often not able to see things from the other people's perspective. Therefore, ended up as entitled narcissist whinning assholes not respecting nor understanding other people's autonamy. And that spirit is reflected in our media. Within the media Bad Boy Trope, they usually match up a Bad Boy and a Nice Girl. And argue that the Bad Boy is mistreating the Nice Girl. Because, the Nice Girl want a committed relationship with him, but the Bad Boy felt not the same way. This is despite the Bad Boy never misled the Nice Girl to think this is something serious. Sometimes the Bad Boy even let the girl understand he is not looking for anything serious right from the beginning. Examples of such included Charlie from Two and a Half Men and Barney from How I Met Your Mother. In the Nice Guy Trope, they reverse it. They will have a Bad Girl and a Nice Guy. Examples included Robin (Bad Girl) and Ted (Nice Guy) in How I Met Your Mother and Penny (Bad Girl) and Leoanrd (Nice Guy) in Big Bang Theory. Just like the Bad Boys, the Bad Girls are also players. Sometimes player that won't commit. And just like the Nice Girl wanting to be in a serious exclusive and committed relationship with the Bad Boy ASAP, the Nice Guy want the same thing with the Bad Girl. But, much like how Bad Boys like Charlie and Barney felt not the same way. the Bad GIrl also felt not the same way. At this instance, they represent the Nice Guy as the victim and the Bad Girl as the villain for breaking his heart. This is despite much like the Bad Boy, the Bad Girl didn't mislead him. For example, Robin in How I Met Your Mother told Ted that she doesn't want to get married and have kids right from the beginning. Penny let Leonard understand that she is not interest very early on, it is Leonard that won't take no for an answer. In the media they also let the Nice Girl be the representation of all women. This is despite in the real world they are only 10% of the population and 85% of women are in the Bad Girl category. They are not interest in seeking a committed relationship, they just want a bit of fun. But, because, our media pushed for an idea that Nice Girl is a representation of all women, it push for the idea that this is what all women are suppose to be like. So, when they met a Bad Girl, they can't understand how they are different from how all women are suppose to be like. And when they try to connect with the Bad Girl by giving her what the Nice Girl want, she is not interest and he can't understand why he can't connect with her. And ended up choosing the Bad Boy that is not willing to offer the Nice Girl what the she wants, while he is willing to offer it?
Girls who end up with bad boys are alone single mothers by 30 and in a difficult situation regarding the dating game moving forward for the rest of their lives. 😊
Not at all. Even the good girls married by 21 usually her first boyfriend was some druggie, criminal type. Not alpha at all but antisocial. Her teenage prime self just wanted to break the rules so antisocial men get the women best years.
In the 7th Grade, I fell for a certain bad girl. I found her looks and her energy sexy, but I practically moved on after nothing was happening between us. It turns out that she actually had a baby with a bad boy type BEFORE high school graduation. It practically deleted her from the entire class due to the shame. I would have never wanted that for her.
A few years ago I was in a relationship with a woman that ended up becoming very unhealthy for both of us. Something I remember her saying back then was that when it came to guys, she liked a challenge. After things ended with us, she immediately bounced to a guy who was proud to be an asshole. I couldn't understand it. I do now.
lol. Major red flag when girls treat relationships as a “hobby”. One girl I was messing with said she sees love as a game. that’s when I knew this b***h was no good.
@@TapiaJ No, everyone needs to be confident, everyone needs to independent, and you may not have a sense of humor but you should at least be interesting enough to be around.
Sometimes a "bad boy", isn't always bad. Some are genuinely good guys who either are just free-spirited, risk taking, and rebellious by nature or dudes who been through quite a lot and at least puts in some healing to become a better man type shit. "Bad boys" aren't always bad news. Perhaps a bad boy with a good heart can end up having a long term relationship
Hi, greetings to you from Nigeria 🇳🇬,am lucy and this is my first to meet you on RUclips,l saw your profile pic and I really love what I saw.l hope you wouldn't mind,can we be friends
100% brother, a “bad boy” is subjective, it could be pure selfishness, goals/hobby driven men that tend not to put women on a pedestal, or after being hurt, they just simply don’t know how to anymore 😢
Women like men that are mysterious and keep them on their toes about where they stand. They like the thrill and the feeling of earning him... in the end they end up getting used.
@@nicke2307 Predictable and boring in what way? Most of us lead pretty normal lives. I mean, it's not like we're James Bond. Why is it then that someone who's nice is automatically predictable and boring? Obviously that's not true, but I'm just trying to understand what people are getting at when they throw these arbitrary labels on people, who have complex and varied personalities, habits, interests, etc.
Well I’m mildly bad. I a little crooked but I have a heart of gold. I will fight for my friends and family. It’s ok to be nice but you gotta stick up for yourself when you need to.
I heard it articulated once upon a time that bad boys make them feel more emotionally connected and more invested. The nice guys are so predictable sometimes that they lose track of connection.
I had a leather jacket just like the thumbnail, every time I wore it I would get stare from girls and many times any girl would open the glass door for me if anyone saw me coming through the door, first time it happened I was like she is warm inside and I am in the winter outside, she is just being nice but then it happened many times in many places. Leather jacket and khaki jacket works like a charm for me.
I used to work in an office by the county jail and just about every day I'd see a young, hot woman going into the jail to, presumably, see her bad-boy boyfriend. Most of them wore tight, revealing outfits so they probably were not attorneys.
Great video. I remember when I was younger I was going after toxic girls because they often had the best energy on the outside and they were often the prettiest on the outwardly any way. I would be willing to change who I was just to get their attention! Now I know it's all about a man and woman raising each other up, supporting each other, loving each other despite their flaws. Find that person
It's like some kind of a competition to win that bad boy and prove to her self she's the hottest one even though she knows he has multiple girl friends and yet he doesn't give a damn about any one of them only to satisfy he needs and move on 🤙🏽
Dating "bad boys and fun girls" are part of growing up in a way. I really like the psychology part of your content- very well rounded channel. How someone treats you shows much about them but whether you chose to allow it is a reflection of you.
@Courtney Green hi Courtney! No way, that’s awesome. A ton of names are unisex these days and nothing to worry about. I think it’s cool 😎 I’m going to do another video on hairstyles because I only chose 5 for that video and I left a ton out! Stay tuned 😊
To women with major issues, "bad boys" come off as way more confident than other men, and that's hard to resist. Women with good personalities want a nice guy who is also confident, and unfortunately those guys are pretty rare.
can they honestly not tell that those guys are huge narcissists? its so obvious if you just look at them for a second. the way they dress, walk, talk. they only love themselves. nobody else. not even their mothers.
What you said at 2:30 is interesting and really shows how abstract the manosphere narrative is. There was a RUclipsr interviewing hot girls to get them to agree on “red pill” theory. One girl in her early 20s was asked true or false, women go after bad boys when they’re young and settle for nice guys once they hit the wall. “True.” “Next question, at what age do women hit the wall?” In her mind SHE ALREADY hit the wall. Which makes her initial answer completely irrelevant.
I always wondered about this topic. We are advised to think (dating experts) to be a decent person to attract. Also, that fact that a girl can spot a manipulator right away. But it is a paradox that 'some' girls fall for a bad boy. The takeaway from this video is that such girls who chose bad boys have their own issues. Not all girls are the same just like guys are.
Screen, screen, and then screen again. Lol. Stay far away from women who did not have a positive relationship w their father if you want a healthy relationship (assuming you’re emotionally intelligent). Period. They will be toxic. Not having a positive male figure growing up to teach, provide security, and guidance tends to wreak havoc on relationships and be chaotic after the amazing dopamine honeymoon stage. It’s a sad truth 🤷♀️
Isn’t it sad to think all the nice guys out there that are single. I’ve essentially “given up” because the only girls I seem attracted to are bad girls. Kind of the complete opposite of what you’re talking about
@@kennyr1161 my comment was for me personally. I’m saying every time I try to get into a serious relationship it seems I pick the wrong women. I’ve essentially given up trying I’d rather stay single and not get emotionally involved and hurt. I know it’s because of the type of women I pursue but I can’t help what I’m attracted to and unfortunately they are ones that are not ready for commitment or enjoy attention from other guys or just down right don’t want to be in a committed relationship. So to save myself from the heartache I’ve chosen to be non commital and have no emotional attachment. Being straight forward with this in the beginning has proved good for both me and the girl I’m seeing at the time but it doesn’t help me find a life partner.
These types of women might have that behavior because they are attractive enough (physically) and they know that they have options, and since they can't figure out whom to choose when they have too many options, and since there may be a more attractive and "better" one around the corner, they become manipulative and/or play around instead of committing to one person. Attractive "bad" boys can have the same mindset, too. Of course, I can be wrong, but from what I've seen and read, this is the conclusion that I have arrived at (so far).
@@whitebuffalo6071 are these women super attractive? If you're frequently finding yourself only attracted to those that means your self esteem is likely low. You must've been heavily hit hard earlier by the rejection/disappointment of that first one you went for then you subconsciously wanted to convince yourself.
While I understand you might not be saying that we should settle for being a consolation prize that’s literally whats happening with the bad boy phase. The bad boy phase is literally the “good guys” being overlooked until the bad boy phase is over. Which is usually after said phase has left the women in question mentally/emotionally scarred enough to decide that they finally want a “good guy”.
As someone in a stable relationship with no end in sight, I have no idea why I am watching this content, but for some reason it is absolutely fascinating. This is good content.
"Dating a couple people could be beneficial." "[...] to learn what you want, and what you don't want." I understand where you are coming from Courtney, but I find myself only partially being able to agree with you on this one. Perhaps an elaboration / clarification on what is defined as a "couple" people is important. Many women overdue this because it is much easier for them to test the waters this way than men, and it goes far beyond a couple people. I don't believe it is necessary for a woman to sleep with a bunch of guys to learn what she wants. Common sense dictates she should have a pretty good idea of this already. Also in doing so, she risks becoming a low value woman. No high value man wants a woman who has "been around" and the same holds true for women regarding men. Your interpretation, and the misconception many have regarding "bad boys" is spot on. "Constant Chaos" in a relationship. I agree with everything you said, and more. I have experienced this with a person in my past. If drama is not present, they will create it where is doesn't exist. It is simply a highly toxic relationship, and is always doomed to fail. Once again, nicely done Courtney.....💖
Women are not blinded by the bad boy phase!! They are literally obsessed with them and they would laugh at the guy who is sweet and kind to them!! They will never feel lucky to have a nice guy because they don't mess with their emotions!! Once everything is perfect that's when they leave!!
In reality, bad boy = good looks=genetic lottery. Because of good looks young women want to date them!! Because of over supply of women, they don't care about women. Confident alpha dominant etc doesn't matter at young age if you are 6"4 athlete.
You mentioned a lot of women that go for bad boys have some issue they need to work through. My experience (and seems like a lot of guys) is that it seems like A LOT of women are like this, then as everyone says, they complain about how they are treated but then run right back to that same type. It also doesn't help that there are guys (and one woman! Not you) that sell 'coaching plans' that TELL guys to treat women bad!
👍 Good video. Personal change is not always bad. Sometimes they really care for you. Listening to some suggestions would have saved me 20+yrs of "The Good Life"
I think one the the biggest problems between men and women is evidenced by statistics found on dating sites that show that only the top 20% of men are getting 80% of the matches with women. Leading them to compete with that small number of men who have many options. On similar surveys women found 80% of men to be less attractive then they considered themselves.
“Often girls are blinded by guys who seem really nice at the beginning but then ends up being a bad boy and manipulative” then......”I know there are good guys out there too. I can speak from personal experience on that as well I get so many amazing comments and dms from so many of you guys....”.
Great point, when courtney mentioned this, all i can think of was famous serial killer ted bundy.....and guess what happened when they fell for his tricks, dead! in a way when girls fall for bad guys....it can be very scary....falling for famous serial killers who have high body counts....oh brother! you know that all this stems from hybristophilia right?
I was dating an older woman occasionally when I was 20, and these times I was really bad boy ( idiot). She knew my criminal issues, and when we saw each other after a while, I told her that I have changed, I have a real job, and arranged my life etc. She was so disappointed that I couldn't believe.
Great video. We’re all finding out more and more of what we want and don’t want through experience. The things you don’t want in a partner help you identify and understand what you DO want in a partner. The more you enjoy the process of figuring it out, the more fun you’ll have in life and the happier you’ll be. Let’s stop being so hard on ourselves and those we are dating, and just enjoy the journey of discovering our preferences and gaining clarity about what we like.
Great video, Courtney!!! I 100% agree with everything but I think the point that stuck the biggest chord was what you said about what we learn from incompatible relationships. I have had just one partner to date. Since we spilt in 2016 I have realised how different we were, seen her bad points and realised it lasted as long as it did because of our issues and insecurities especially my own. I have spent the last 2 and half years working on myself. Now I am not far off moving from the UK to Ireland and start a new life. Finding new friends and a new partner. A healthier and more compatible partner!!!
I have wondered if this happens: Some girls have their first sexual experience with a bad boy, who is not intimidated by anyone and has an edge of criminality about him, and the relationship is very intense and imprints on their minds; that then results in the girl in later life trying to recreate that experience, and treating less "exciting" men with overt or concealed disdain.
Yes, that can happen. If a girl has had a past relationship with a very Alpha guy who left her, she can become an ”Alpha Widow”, who will always future compare relationships to that one.
ya, for sure my past relationships have proven to be something ive learned so much about life and also the areas that were lacking development. powerful growth comes from this that can take your life to elevated levels that wouldn't have been possible otherwise.
Glad I grew up bad lol and a not give a dam attitude but I'm married now so.... Yea but my persona actually still works even being married, everything requires balance.😂
Hey thanks for the reminder on the giveaway form, I got carried away browsing Teddy’s website the other day and forgot to go back and add my selection lol when’s the cutoff btw? Also I thought the overall message in this video was great. One of the reasons I like your channel is you do offer that balance. Some other channels I’ve watched will tell you how you’re supposed to act and all that, and I’m like “wait, but then you’re basically pretending to be someone you’re not, and that’s not good for you or her”. It took me a long time to be comfortable enough with being a “nice guy” because it does have sort of that negative connotation these days. But as I’m sure Teddy can attest to, being a nice guy doesn’t mean you let people walk all over you. Personally I just try to approach everyone with warmth and compassion until they give me a reason not to.
Guys, build self-worth and self-discipline, girls are going to come and go, but your relationship with yourself matters the most. Make her a PART of your life, NOT your WHOLE LIFE. Associate with HIGH QUALITY People and make mistakes while you're young, no one is going to care about your failures in your 20s but you probably won't get a second chance in your 30s.
Well made video, fairly made your point. I have especially seen people in my life stick with their first because they don’t want to be negatively stigmatized as a bad girlfriend who gave up on a relationship amongst other issues, whereas I’ve met others who stick in a toxic cause they think they were so bad in their younger days. I think of dating as a learning phase both for yourself and with others. It’s very important to be in open communication.
The problem is that many women aren't mature enough to get out of the bad boy phase early. They get into it, start becoming addicted to it, stay in it for 10-20 years, wash up and have the AUDACITY to say "Where'd all the good men go"?
It's the confidence for 100%, it's a fine line between arrogance but when you walk that line so to speak you'll get a LOT more attention and just in general you will feel better in a group of people. Girls notice this the most out of all things a guy has to offer, it's not just the clothes guys or your job/car.
@@CourtneyRyan Being a nice guy is like being an average guy to most women!! They'll go after the Brads and Chads (WITHOUT BEING BLINDED) and then they'll look for the nice guy to use for resources!! They'll get married, the wife will make rules, the guy will receive less sex and still has to pay for it unlike the Chads who got it for free, they'll have kids then the wife will get bored for whatever reason, she divorces him and takes half his life away!! The house and lifestyle he worked hard for will mean nothing!!! He still has to pay for the house he doesn't live in, alimony and child support for the kids he can't even see every day!! This is why nice guys finish last and this bs that you and society keep telling us that "every woman wants a man to treat me with love and respect" is a myth!!! End of convo.
@@mlctv6547 being a good guy or nice guy isn’t bad. It’s only bad when you use it towards women who only surround themselves with assholes. A good guy can pull a Courtney no problem.
Courtie can you please make a video on guys with social anxiety? I believe it's much worse for guys suffering from SAD as compared to girls, hence we really need your advice on this🙏🏻
I think Anxiety really sucks for girls too. Just like with guys it stops them feeling attractive, they can't form relationships, they misinterpret cues.
When men talk about women frequently going after “bad boys” they are usually talking about guys with all the cultivated image of high level male without the substance of one. The guy who cultivates an athlete image with body fat percentage and clothes but is average or below at any sport. The tough guy that has never been in a fight and cusses and cries when he stubs his toe. The guy with the clothes, car, etc of a financial high level but not the actual high level income. The “rock star” with no musical talent. The bad boy thing is really women chasing phony images of masculinity over realty. No man is mystified by a beautiful woman dating a real pro athlete or rockstar. Unfortunately, women who can’t tell image from substance by early 20s often never can. She won’t see the substance of the man that works hard at his job and comes home to her over that guy the flirts with her at her job when he should be working.
Playing sport also teaches you alot about life. The "bad boy" is the one who has his desires in check and is realising his potential which naturally comes with financial, spiritual and mental success. A man must be focused on his goals not being a bad boy. I laugh at bad boys. They boys. Not men
The worst part of all of it: men tend to get sucked back into being the bad boy (worser version) because they see it work on someone they think is attractive. Sadly, us men are prone to considering it even when we learn better. It's always all about the paradigm: what everyone thinks about what everyone thinks about. What men think women want is a primary driver, so remember to be yourself
Seems to be a common topic for some reason but she is spot on when she says you shouldn't be chasing after someone who clearly doesn't want you and you shouldn't want to be with a woman who is doing that anyway. I've been married for a long time so it doesn't affect me but when I was single that was pretty much my take on it. Why waste any emotional energy on that? Just move on.
I finally know now what I want = I have played the field, now am over the hill, no longer fun, date only up, and expect men to accommodate my entitled attitude and ballooning backside.
Im 45 i been a bad boy since i was 16 .. I have not met any chick who was average looking or above average looking who didnt fall inlove with out toxic traits. The women who i had the longest relationships were women who chased me.
Although my 1 year relationship with my ex wasn’t this toxic, i was emotionally unavailable at the start which i’m now healing due to baggage. Once I told her i loved her 8 months in I feel like she started pulling back, due to being cheated on in the past and trauma there. Part of me wishes I could send her this video :(
Dont tell a narcissist you love them. Once they hear that it's all down hill. I made that mistake. And felt the same way you did. I wish I was more awake back then. And I wouldn't of wasted over a decade. Time heals all wounds but you never get time you wasted dwelling.
@@TapiaJ Brother it’s hard to tell a narcissist, chances are she may not have been one. And while I agree there’s a time and place to be vulnerable, I don’t think NOT saying you love someone is a solution either (if you want a healthy balanced relationship). They’re just playing games at that point and you’re better off without them. But don’t close yourself off because of one person.
@@HarrisKray after that relationship I didnt give up. Tried like 10 more times. It's just so odd that every relationship was the same. All of them had past trauma and hade ex husband's/boyfriends that were cheaters or abusive. I decided to work on myself after that. My boundaries were eroded after that first relationship. My self confidence was pushed way down. But now I'm in a healthy state of mind. I just never realized that most women out there go after confident guys because they want to break them. Its happening to me in my 40's. They still try.
@@TapiaJ Yeah man there are some real pieces of work out there, but plenty of gems too. I’d recommend watching some Aaron Doughty, has some cool ideas on how we attract what we are vibrating at. Good luck !
Hi, greetings to you from Nigeria 🇳🇬,am lucy and this is my first time to meet you here on RUclips,I saw your profile pic and I really love what I saw,l hope you wouldn't mind, can we be friends,if so DM me
Excellent video. Thanks for boiling it down to the addiction to stimulation created by chaos and the need to ultimately do some self work on the behalf of that individual. Sincerely appreciate this perspective. 👍
The problem is a lot of women get with these "bad boys" young and cone out lesser than what they were and the "good guys" are expected to pick up the slack
My wife grew up in a home with a narcissist and alcoholic as a father. She didn't have a bad childhood but it was chaotic. He aas a good provider and eventually became a successful executive at a large local company; but sometimes treated his family badly. As a result, she thought thay was supposed to be normal as it was all she knew. She used to chase the bad boys for that reason. At some point she sought therapy due to mental health issues she believed to be, at least in part, due to her chaotic upbringing. Through this she realized the reason she had trouble in relationships is that she was drawn to partners with traits similar to her father. When she got back into the dating scene it she spent 2 years dating before we met. When she recognized the bad boy traits she moved on, but sometimes that took a while until she realized she was chasing someone who would probably not ultimately give her what she needed from a relationship. Then I entered the dating scene when my first marriage ended. She didn't know what to think of me at first. She kept comparing me to her ex's and her father and waiting to see those negative traits come out. It eventually lead to a big fight, where I had told her if I have never given a valid reason to mistrust me, she had better start or the relationship would not survive. It was at that point, she realized what she saw in me that attracted her, that I was different from her last partners and what she saw was genuine. We still argue occasionally about things, but she realized at that moment she had actually found the kind of guy she wanted. One that was kind, caring and faithful and treated her well because thats just who I am; not as a means to get something from her and cast her aside when I got what I wanted. We got married 3 years after we met and couldnt be happier together. She's realized the reason her past relationships didn't work out is because she was chosing the wrong type of guy, thinking she could change them instead of looking for a guy who was already what she wanted.
i sit around watching people walk by a good bit,i see many what seem to be very nice guys.u know what else i see,they are walking alone.we live in a culture that makes about 90 percent of ladies want the either rich,,badboy,,or hot looking guys and will never settle for anything else.guys look up mgtow videos.its the best way i know to understand female nature and how u should respond.seriously in todays times u could get in trouble trying to find a lady to date if u are not the right guy.im 53 now and have seen the changes over the years in dating.its not good for u guys.best thing i know is the power of your indifference will help keep u safe from legal troubles and can some times make some ladies come up to u instead u u coming to them.
Time to bust out of Prison all the rapist, serial killers, etc. They are quite charming on the surface when you first meet them !!! Ladies, have fun with these "bad boys" !
I dated somebody like that who was always in chaos. So we split. My buddy who is the same as her asked if I minded if he dated her, I said go ahead. However you two will be volatile together. Well I was right. They picked a fight and some other couple kicked the butts…they ended up in the hospital. She usually started those fights. I can’t tell you how many’s times I had to deal with her attitude in public!
Hi, greetings to you from Nigeria 🇳🇬,am lucy and this is my first time to meet you here on RUclips,l saw your profile pic and I really love what I saw.l hope you wouldn't mind can we be friends,if so DM me
I will always do the best to improve life for myself, love myself and respect others around me. But I will not completely change my character to be a bad boy. Going outside of your boundaries of who you are naturally as a person is fake. It is better to be real and true. If the lady cannot accept that, she isn't the one for you. She also is probably doing you a huge favor by not saying yes and longing to be with you. Everyone has different stages in their life when they mature and grow up.......................and then there are some..................they never do!
the bad boys are also usually emotionally completely desensitized and narcissistic so its impossible to hurt their feelings because they dont have any and you cant break their heart because they only love themselves. which means that you can use them for sex and drama without feeling guilty about it. abusing a man with feelings makes them feel bad and then they start to question "am i a good person" and the answer is no. so they avoid that.
It's very simple. Things that you cannot have, or reject you, you will want them more and go after them more. If a "Bad Boy" rejects a woman, she pursues him more. Then he discards her for the next woman in his bed. She sometimes becomes a single mother in her haste to pursue the Bad Boy. She settles for some soyboi or normal guy later in life and always dreams about eloping with the Bad Boy who got away. The Bad Boy excited her lady parts. The normal guy does not.
Bad boy craving is purely US European phenomenon. It is a serious indication of decline of a society. It is young people who continue to be immature, and uninformed in their 20s and even 30s. Hence end up as pregnant mothers and not able to contribute to the society.
Don’t usually comment, however you’re giving me hope that I just may be ok and maybe this could be fun? Divorce is a crazy maze but I’m getting through. PS, the way that your hair frames your face with your soft curls in the end… Courtney, wow, you’re an incredible work of art. To your fiancé: impressive bro! Hope your day is good to y’all
I worked for a while as a driver for the nightclub industry. The ladies would send me across the city because their guy needed money for smokes or he forgot to pick up their kid at childcare, etc.. I would not say that for the most part these were high quality men. So what's the attraction? In some cases drugs. But in most cases is was the ladies asserting their independence/rebellion. I'm going to date they guy their friends and family hate because I can. They would pass up even the best patrons in the club and go straight back to the guy that never pays his child support because the more everyone else hated him, the more they liked him.
First of all; you need to work on your grammar. Second of all, it seems like you're trying to assign a pseudo-logical reason to a situation that's made up of both logical and illogical factors. The illogical factor that I feel you're ignoring is the fact that physical attraction is inherently senseless. For example: why are people attracted to larger breasts? Some people say its biological, and that women with larger breasts are better equipped to nurture children. But large breasts don't contain more milk than small breasts. Breasts are attractive because they just are to some people. So women are attracted to "bad boys" simply because that's what they're attracted to. There are other factors too though. My guess is that these women were likely in bad environments that led them to these relationships, which is really sad. As for why a women would continue to keep in contact with their children's fathers is self explanatory. She made need financial support, a break taking care of the child, or simply want their kid to know it's dad. Try to sympathize with these women a little more. Yeah, they may be better off without those men, but there certainly are reasons that explain those stories pretty well. (That don't rely on an "independent woman bad" explanation.)
As to taming the Bad Boy, that runs to a very deep seated female fantasy. A man who is strong, lethal and dangerous, IF she can be the one to tame him, makes the ultimate protector for her and the children she is going to have with him, plus he’s got the best genes, fittest body etc. etc. Female evolutionary psychology 101, and the basis for pretty much the basis for all romantic fem-fiction.
Do you have any idea how this is devastating is for good guys ? They get dumped , rejected and their feelings are hurt just coz some women have a taste for bad boys.
I just turned 31 and re-watched Disney’s Beauty and the Beast with my niece. I actually thought to myself wait, shed rather go with the actual beast than the successful hunter trying to protect his village. Sure he’s manipulative, vain, but he is handsome AND he WANTS to marry her. Lol hear me out 😂 I think Belle went with Beast because she thought that she had influenced Beast to be the good person. When in reality, Beast was already a good person inside. (And a baller, he had a dope mansion). (I had too much coffee this morning lol)
I would also add a really important but simple point. Women are generally attracted by masculine men and bad boys generally have a lot of masculine characteristics. But if you're a good guy that take care of yourself and you are working on your masculine characteristics, you'll have no problem to attract women, and more importantly, GOOD women. Remember, being a nice guy is not a problem, being a simp is !
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Hiiii Greetings to you from Nigeria 🇳🇬 am lucy,this is my first time to meet you here on RUclips,I hope you wouldn't mind can we be friends
I will NOT pretend to be a "bad boy" to get any woman. If she cannot accept me for being a loving caring strong & powerful nice man, she can take a hike.
The following is a “what if”. I don’t know you nor do I pretend to know you. But “what if” you deliberately wanted to pursue a one night stand? Would you go through the motions of behaving like a bad boy just to achieve that?
SHE CAN KICK ROCKS IN FLIP FLOPS WITH NO SOCKS😏😏😏😏
Big facts homie
so, here you are rev dude, here you are saying you are "loving,caring, strong" and at the same time telling women to "take a hike" - and you get the heart reaction from Courtney Ryan!
thus proving that the only way to get noticed is telling women to "take a hike" AKA bad boy.
In real life, nice men do not tell women to "take a hike" . nice men want women and everyone else to know they are valuable people
@@MrAnarchris I think by saying "take a hike", he means that in a way where he values himself. That's not a bad boy thing, it's a matter of having so much self respect, that you refuse to change just to get a woman to want you.👌
They don’t put her on a pedestal and are confident assertive and dominant
Facts! They know what can happen to them if they get too nice or comfortable with women. To me, that isn't a "bad boy" that's a smart man 💣
@@GEORGIOARCADE absolutely right.
@@GEORGIOARCADE it all boils down to looks
@@nothingbettertodo2295 well yes, looks does play a role indeed. A man should always try to look his best
@@GEORGIOARCADE but it all boils down to how lucky you were born Gotta be born with that chissled jawline to be attractive and for women to validate you as a bad boy
The more selfish I am.. The more they look at me. True story!
I think it’s important to focus on yourself and work towards what you want in life. That’s not a bad thing and will attract the right people 👏🏼
Sometymes it'z lookz'👔🌹🍷🍷💰💸💰💸💰.....However I LOVE, being myself more now.......FROM MY EXPERIENCES🌹🌘....PLUS....I'M OVER 40.....IT'Z BOUTZ' ME'......KNOTT' JUS' PRAISING...EVERY'🌹🍷🍷💋 LADY.....I PREFER LADIEZ...OVER 30YRS...ESTABLISHED_SOPHISTICATED....EXCEPTIONS....27YRS💋🌹👠CAREER-ORIENTED.....MINDSET....FOUNDATION....SECURE-W/SELF/FINANCIALLY.....KNOTT'💸💰💸💰💸👠🍷🍷🍷HIGH-WHORE🌘🌹MAINTENANCE-IDENTITIEZ.....
@@CourtneyRyan : COURTNEY💙💦💦🐬🌹☁DA' BOMB!!! LADY 'C!!! YO' MANNZ' 🌹👔👊💥COOLZ' MANNZ'!!! CASTED ON GH(🏥🌃GENERAL-HOSPITAL_PORT CHARLES!!!)
@@CourtneyRyan HOW TOO TIPS ON DRESSING LIKE A BAD BOY COURTNEY RYAN FOR RORY OVER IN NEW ZEALAND
Being selfish and doing things for yourself are two different things. People tend to classify you as selfish maybe because you don't do things for them and only think about yourself. But the truth is, you HAVE to think and do things for yourself first. You are the most important person in your life.
some times the "bad boy" is the only male around who displays confidence. Confidence is a drug in relationships, a major trigger for attraction.
@@MartinThePanda confidence and stupidity are not mutually exclusive.
Chris i agree with what you said because if we are being honest; women look for men who have qualities they lack or could use more of hence confidence, leadership. People call this kinda guy a "bad boy" but got it mixed up with a guy whose a rude, fake nice person with a cocky attitude. At least that's how i see it
Facts
...but you have to be prepared to live with the consequences of it, of which ladies most of the time aren't.
Been a Real Men takes way more than just confidence.
People be dating at sixteen and there i was wondering how the hell i would pass organic chemistry and physics at that age.
You had your priorities straight!
Just remember that Benzene is C6H6 with three carbon double bonds.
@@farisakhtar4824 also remember *resonance*
I did date a couple of women who were single moms at one time when I was younger. The first told me she was divorced but that was a lie after about a month. The next was honest that she had gotten pregnant at the end of high school. Both became difficult later because they wanted me to foot the bill to support them. They kept talking about their exes and intimacy and sex was bad because they kept comparing me with their Bad Boy relationships. They were both toxic. I stayed away from women with kids after that.
Really? Because you were dumb enough to go after bad women?
@@noremac0575 You have to learn somehow. I bet you didn’t make all the smart decisions too Noremac
I feel ya Pain and a to a certain degree relate to that. Sadly, too many Single Moms today are too used toxicity and dysfunction as the norm.
Being victim doesnt' mean being good. They can be another bad people.
I also always attract the bad pussies 😞 they are nice sweet and wet, but thats about it :(
This is so important: "Some people are addicted to their own stress hormones." Really important point and spoken clearly, as usual with this channel. Healing from peptide addiction is so important.
I was madly in love with a woman and I treated her like a queen, which she loved . Then she broke my heart and married her abusive ex BF a week later. You really nailed this for me, I needed this. Thank you again, Courtney!
Man you gotta listen to some Austin Dunham or ams
you should contact her and thank her for not marrying you, she did you a favor there. its true and it'll piss her off too.
@@TheSuperappelflap don’t contact shows your hurt. Move on live a dope life
No woman is a “queen” so don’t treat them as such. The only woman to treat with that level of respect is your mother. Your wife is and always should be your equal, no more, no less - however a “queen” is always above you. Big difference.
Face it! You simped! If you put her on a pedestal, she will look down at you!
In my experience with girls, it's okay to be a nice guy, but a nice guy with confidence who stands up for himself, not a doormat who does whatever the girl wants. Also making her laugh is crucially important. With my gf I am constantly cracking jokes and sending her memes and funny texts to make her laugh. Or sometimes (as weird as it might sound) I will tickle or poke her in public. She told me she actually really likes that.
👏🏼😎 yes!
Constantly eventually gets old.
Problem is I'm not funny
In my experience it is really definition by opposition. Nice Guy and Bad Boy is a left wing media constructed concept. But, it doesn't truly represent the idea of a good person or a bad person. Adding to the irony, very often the Nice Guy are horrible stalkers and the Bad Boys are the actual good people. I've seen it all the time.
In my experience, the reason that girls like Bad Boys is very simple. Most real life women are also Bad Girls. Bad Girls like Bad Boys and Bad Boys like Bad Girls. It is that simple.
To go into more detail, the concept of "Nice Guy" and "Bad Boy" is a pop culture contrast origined from Left Wing media, with a feminism agenda in mind, it doesn't truly represent an idea of good people or bad people. Ironically, most people fit the pop culture "Nice Guy" definition are usually horrible people and those fit the "Bad Boy" definition are usually good people.
This is very due to our western culture is oriented towards looking for a committed relationship over a real relationship. This is the case with both the left and the right. For example, within left wing feminism the saying is "If you dump a girl after you got bored you are a jerk treating women like crap!" Translate the meaning of that "If you are dating a girl you are not interest in you keep leading her on. Otherwise, you are treating women like crap!" So, the focus is about whether it is a committed relationship. Not whether it is a real relationship. The same is applicable to the right. For example, Christian value is very anti divorce. They care not about whether it is a real relatioship or not, they force two people not right for each other to stay together and make each other suffer.
So, that is the thing about western value. It is culturally obsess with entering a committed relationship and never breakup, but care not about whether it is a real relationship. Culturally speaking, in the west we call this the "grown up thing to do." In contrast some other culture are very different, for example Asian culture doesn't value commitment. As the polar opposite Asian culture is about whether it is a real relationship and feel you got no need to be in a relationship if you not want to do so and when it is time to let go, of a relationship you let go. So, it isn't anti breakup or divorce.
Looking for a real relationoship is also what our pop culture call "just having fun."
Based on this mentlaity the concept of Nice Guy and Bad Boy is born. Thus, it is the concept of
"Guys willing to commit are great guys treating women well." (aka Nice Guy) and there are their female equals the (Nice Girls) Because they act in consistant with our western culture obsession with finding and staying in a committed relationship
"Guys that won't commit are jerks treating women like crap!" (aka Bad Boy e.g. Charlie from Two and a Half Men)
and their femaiel equals the Bad Girls (e.g. Penny from the Big Bang Theory or
"Guys that won't commit are immature" (aka Man Child e.g. Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory.)
Due to they act in contradiction with our culture obsession with finding and staying in a committed relationship
But, here is the reality, statistically up to 85% of men and women are in the Bad Boy and Bad Girl category. So, on the relationship scene they are more interest in a real relationship, what we culturally call "Just having fun" and care not about whether it is a commitment relationship. And 25% of the population both male and female are highly commitment phobic.
Only 10% are in the Nice Guy and Nice Girl category that want a committed relationship over a real relationship and also got no commitment phobic issue.
Taking a more academic approach towards it. What we culturally call a Nice Guy/Nice GIrl, is call "Anxiety Attachment Style" People of this category are very desperate for a committed relationship. But, care not about whether it is a real relationship.
The type of people call Bad Boy and Bad Girl are in the category of "Secure Attachment Style" or "Avoidance Attachment Style" These people prefer real relationship over a committed relationship. This is what we culturally call "just having fun" and what we culturally call a "player." 60% are in Secure Attachment Style." 25% in the "Avoidane Attachment Style" Avoidance Attachment Style people are also got a lot of fear towards commitment and intimacy. As a result, they are what we culturally call "Player that won't commit." While Secure Attachment Style people are just "Players." Even when/if these people get married, it is getting married for fun. Because, they love been together so much, they decided to be together. But, they are also perfectly fine if they are not together. Because, they got no need for a committed relationship and care not about commitments. Celebrity examples included Leighton Meester and Adam Brody and Keira Knightly and james righton.
Avoidance Attachment Style people "Player that won't commit type" prefer real relationship and fear commitments. They are more likely to be in situations that is a real relationship, but not a committed relationship. For example, if your parents are happily together for 30 years, but not married, chances are one of your parents is the Avoidance Attachment Style type what our culture call "Player that won't commit" type.
Secure Attachment Style people prefer real relationship and got no desire for committed relationship. But, they don't mind commitments.
Anxiety Attachment Style people are desperate for a committed relationship and care not about whether it is a real relationship. This unhealthy obsession sometimes turn them into horrible people e.g. Amber Heard or continue to kiss the ass of somebody not liking them in hope that he/she will be with them and not leave them e.g. Will Smith.
In addition there is distorted attachment style people making up 5% of the population. These people are also desperate for a committed relationship and care not about whether this is a real relationship. But, at the same time they are terrified of commitment. They are trap between a rock and a crazy place. Therefore, in some ways they resemble what our culture think of as a Nice Guy/Nice Girl (wanting to be in a committed relationship and won't let go.) and in other ways like the ultimate Bad Boy/Bad Girl (highly commitment phobic) These people are not categorized in our pop culture.
Because our western culture's obsession with commitments, it is very Anxiety Attachment Style oriented. This lead to the Bad Boy Trope and the Nice Guy Trope, where it is blindly in favor of the Nice Guy/Nice Girl. Due to that obsession with commitment, Anixety Attachment Style people often not able to see things from the other people's perspective. Therefore, ended up as entitled narcissist whinning assholes not respecting nor understanding other people's autonamy. And that spirit is reflected in our media.
Within the media Bad Boy Trope, they usually match up a Bad Boy and a Nice Girl. And argue that the Bad Boy is mistreating the Nice Girl. Because, the Nice Girl want a committed relationship with him, but the Bad Boy felt not the same way. This is despite the Bad Boy never misled the Nice Girl to think this is something serious. Sometimes the Bad Boy even let the girl understand he is not looking for anything serious right from the beginning. Examples of such included Charlie from Two and a Half Men and Barney from How I Met Your Mother.
In the Nice Guy Trope, they reverse it. They will have a Bad Girl and a Nice Guy. Examples included Robin (Bad Girl) and Ted (Nice Guy) in How I Met Your Mother and Penny (Bad Girl) and Leoanrd (Nice Guy) in Big Bang Theory.
Just like the Bad Boys, the Bad Girls are also players. Sometimes player that won't commit. And just like the Nice Girl wanting to be in a serious exclusive and committed relationship with the Bad Boy ASAP, the Nice Guy want the same thing with the Bad Girl. But, much like how Bad Boys like Charlie and Barney felt not the same way. the Bad GIrl also felt not the same way. At this instance, they represent the Nice Guy as the victim and the Bad Girl as the villain for breaking his heart. This is despite much like the Bad Boy, the Bad Girl didn't mislead him. For example, Robin in How I Met Your Mother told Ted that she doesn't want to get married and have kids right from the beginning. Penny let Leonard understand that she is not interest very early on, it is Leonard that won't take no for an answer.
In the media they also let the Nice Girl be the representation of all women. This is despite in the real world they are only 10% of the population and 85% of women are in the Bad Girl category. They are not interest in seeking a committed relationship, they just want a bit of fun.
But, because, our media pushed for an idea that Nice Girl is a representation of all women, it push for the idea that this is what all women are suppose to be like. So, when they met a Bad Girl, they can't understand how they are different from how all women are suppose to be like. And when they try to connect with the Bad Girl by giving her what the Nice Girl want, she is not interest and he can't understand why he can't connect with her. And ended up choosing the Bad Boy that is not willing to offer the Nice Girl what the she wants, while he is willing to offer it?
That's called assertiveness.
Girls who end up with bad boys are alone single mothers by 30 and in a difficult situation regarding the dating game moving forward for the rest of their lives. 😊
Courtney was with a bad boy and that isn’t the case. Maybe you should listen to her.
Not at all. Even the good girls married by 21 usually her first boyfriend was some druggie, criminal type. Not alpha at all but antisocial. Her teenage prime self just wanted to break the rules so antisocial men get the women best years.
In the 7th Grade, I fell for a certain bad girl. I found her looks and her energy sexy, but I practically moved on after nothing was happening between us. It turns out that she actually had a baby with a bad boy type BEFORE high school graduation. It practically deleted her from the entire class due to the shame. I would have never wanted that for her.
there will be always a nice guy to take care of them
Amazing! They deserve it!🎉
A few years ago I was in a relationship with a woman that ended up becoming very unhealthy for both of us. Something I remember her saying back then was that when it came to guys, she liked a challenge. After things ended with us, she immediately bounced to a guy who was proud to be an asshole. I couldn't understand it. I do now.
lol. Major red flag when girls treat relationships as a “hobby”. One girl I was messing with said she sees love as a game. that’s when I knew this b***h was no good.
@@MJ87808 😂😂😂😂
A rich man can change a poor women's life in one night, but a rich woman would never even look in a direction of a poor man
Man you said that.. Is so beautiful ahaa aaa aaaa :'( Wow this is so smart and make point
*BARS*
Let me guess the poor woman is hot
Unless the poor man is attractive
Courtney is a class act. I never go in for the topic, but always for the vibe.
Definitely
Its simple:
Develop confidence, independence, and be a fun or interesting person to hang around.
All that confidence, independence, fun, and being interesting won't mean jack if you're not tall, strong, and good-looking.
@@philmstud2k Looks get you through the door, not in bed
So your saying to develop a narcissistic personality? Be something your not.
@@TapiaJ No, everyone needs to be confident, everyone needs to independent, and you may not have a sense of humor but you should at least be interesting enough to be around.
@@nicholaspowell9309 so let your guard down. And hopefully you dont let in toxic people. Got it.
Sometimes a "bad boy", isn't always bad. Some are genuinely good guys who either are just free-spirited, risk taking, and rebellious by nature or dudes who been through quite a lot and at least puts in some healing to become a better man type shit. "Bad boys" aren't always bad news. Perhaps a bad boy with a good heart can end up having a long term relationship
great point
Hi, greetings to you from Nigeria 🇳🇬,am lucy and this is my first to meet you on RUclips,l saw your profile pic and I really love what I saw.l hope you wouldn't mind,can we be friends
If so DM me
100% brother, a “bad boy” is subjective, it could be pure selfishness, goals/hobby driven men that tend not to put women on a pedestal, or after being hurt, they just simply don’t know how to anymore 😢
Women like men that are mysterious and keep them on their toes about where they stand. They like the thrill and the feeling of earning him... in the end they end up getting used.
With nice men you know where you stand and they are too predictable and boring...
@@nicke2307
Predictable and boring in what way? Most of us lead pretty normal lives. I mean, it's not like we're James Bond. Why is it then that someone who's nice is automatically predictable and boring? Obviously that's not true, but I'm just trying to understand what people are getting at when they throw these arbitrary labels on people, who have complex and varied personalities, habits, interests, etc.
Well I’m mildly bad. I a little crooked but I have a heart of gold. I will fight for my friends and family. It’s ok to be nice but you gotta stick up for yourself when you need to.
I heard it articulated once upon a time that bad boys make them feel more emotionally connected and more invested. The nice guys are so predictable sometimes that they lose track of connection.
This can definitely be true if someone feels connection through uncertainty and chaos!
@@CourtneyRyan i know it’s a little high-handed, but it seems like a dog chasing cars to me. They don’t know what to do if they actually catch one. xD
@@norcalirob1978 The Joker said that in The Dark Knight. Lol
Dating is this way now. Chaos becomes the normal.
I had a leather jacket just like the thumbnail, every time I wore it I would get stare from girls and many times any girl would open the glass door for me if anyone saw me coming through the door, first time it happened I was like she is warm inside and I am in the winter outside, she is just being nice but then it happened many times in many places. Leather jacket and khaki jacket works like a charm for me.
@Peter Jordanson No, I think it would be same. I am good looking in general and if I wear high status clothes it gets more attention.
I’d rather be a single man
Then settle for a used Up Woman
rent.. dont buy
I used to work in an office by the county jail and just about every day I'd see a young, hot woman going into the jail to, presumably, see her bad-boy boyfriend. Most of them wore tight, revealing outfits so they probably were not attorneys.
Lol
Woman☕️
Great video. I remember when I was younger I was going after toxic girls because they often had the best energy on the outside and they were often the prettiest on the outwardly any way. I would be willing to change who I was just to get their attention! Now I know it's all about a man and woman raising each other up, supporting each other, loving each other despite their flaws. Find that person
It's like some kind of a competition to win that bad boy and prove to her self she's the hottest one even though she knows he has multiple girl friends and yet he doesn't give a damn about any one of them only to satisfy he needs and move on 🤙🏽
guess that makes sense yeah. they also just have bad taste in men though. and daddy issues.
Dating "bad boys and fun girls" are part of growing up in a way. I really like the psychology part of your content- very well rounded channel. How someone treats you shows much about them but whether you chose to allow it is a reflection of you.
Spot on 👏🏼 thank you!
@Courtney Green good question i also wanna know
@Courtney Green hi Courtney! No way, that’s awesome. A ton of names are unisex these days and nothing to worry about. I think it’s cool 😎 I’m going to do another video on hairstyles because I only chose 5 for that video and I left a ton out! Stay tuned 😊
A lot of bad boys and fun girls are so philosophically damaged when they get older. They don’t know how to behave in stable environments.
They can be damaged when It comes to real relationships
To women with major issues, "bad boys" come off as way more confident than other men, and that's hard to resist. Women with good personalities want a nice guy who is also confident, and unfortunately those guys are pretty rare.
can they honestly not tell that those guys are huge narcissists? its so obvious if you just look at them for a second. the way they dress, walk, talk. they only love themselves. nobody else. not even their mothers.
What you said at 2:30 is interesting and really shows how abstract the manosphere narrative is. There was a RUclipsr interviewing hot girls to get them to agree on “red pill” theory. One girl in her early 20s was asked true or false, women go after bad boys when they’re young and settle for nice guys once they hit the wall. “True.” “Next question, at what age do women hit the wall?” In her mind SHE ALREADY hit the wall. Which makes her initial answer completely irrelevant.
In short ... Toxic attracts toxic
I always wondered about this topic. We are advised to think (dating experts) to be a decent person to attract. Also, that fact that a girl can spot a manipulator right away. But it is a paradox that 'some' girls fall for a bad boy. The takeaway from this video is that such girls who chose bad boys have their own issues. Not all girls are the same just like guys are.
Those women have I AM TOO STUPID SO I AM GOING TO FUCK UP MY LIFE ISSUES!!!
Screen, screen, and then screen again. Lol. Stay far away from women who did not have a positive relationship w their father if you want a healthy relationship (assuming you’re emotionally intelligent). Period. They will be toxic. Not having a positive male figure growing up to teach, provide security, and guidance tends to wreak havoc on relationships and be chaotic after the amazing dopamine honeymoon stage. It’s a sad truth 🤷♀️
hell yeah source of problem " non positive relationship w their father"
Isn’t it sad to think all the nice guys out there that are single. I’ve essentially “given up” because the only girls I seem attracted to are bad girls. Kind of the complete opposite of what you’re talking about
They not even just attracted to bad girls most of the girls in general just like bad guys
@@kennyr1161 my comment was for me personally. I’m saying every time I try to get into a serious relationship it seems I pick the wrong women. I’ve essentially given up trying I’d rather stay single and not get emotionally involved and hurt. I know it’s because of the type of women I pursue but I can’t help what I’m attracted to and unfortunately they are ones that are not ready for commitment or enjoy attention from other guys or just down right don’t want to be in a committed relationship. So to save myself from the heartache I’ve chosen to be non commital and have no emotional attachment. Being straight forward with this in the beginning has proved good for both me and the girl I’m seeing at the time but it doesn’t help me find a life partner.
These types of women might have that behavior because they are attractive enough (physically) and they know that they have options, and since they can't figure out whom to choose when they have too many options, and since there may be a more attractive and "better" one around the corner, they become manipulative and/or play around instead of committing to one person. Attractive "bad" boys can have the same mindset, too.
Of course, I can be wrong, but from what I've seen and read, this is the conclusion that I have arrived at (so far).
@@Incognit0777 completely agree with you
@@whitebuffalo6071 are these women super attractive? If you're frequently finding yourself only attracted to those that means your self esteem is likely low.
You must've been heavily hit hard earlier by the rejection/disappointment of that first one you went for then you subconsciously wanted to convince yourself.
While I understand you might not be saying that we should settle for being a consolation prize that’s literally whats happening with the bad boy phase. The bad boy phase is literally the “good guys” being overlooked until the bad boy phase is over. Which is usually after said phase has left the women in question mentally/emotionally scarred enough to decide that they finally want a “good guy”.
There is only one reason: self-confidence.
As someone in a stable relationship with no end in sight, I have no idea why I am watching this content, but for some reason it is absolutely fascinating.
This is good content.
Courtney is an attractive woman, soft spoken, and with a submissive demeanor who knows how to finesse. That could be a reason lmao?
"Dating a couple people could be beneficial." "[...] to learn what you want, and what you don't want."
I understand where you are coming from Courtney, but I find myself only partially being able to agree with you on this one. Perhaps an elaboration / clarification on what is defined as a "couple" people is important. Many women overdue this because it is much easier for them to test the waters this way than men, and it goes far beyond a couple people.
I don't believe it is necessary for a woman to sleep with a bunch of guys to learn what she wants. Common sense dictates she should have a pretty good idea of this already. Also in doing so, she risks becoming a low value woman. No high value man wants a woman who has "been around" and the same holds true for women regarding men.
Your interpretation, and the misconception many have regarding "bad boys" is spot on.
"Constant Chaos" in a relationship. I agree with everything you said, and more. I have experienced this with a person in my past. If drama is not present, they will create it where is doesn't exist. It is simply a highly toxic relationship, and is always doomed to fail.
Once again, nicely done Courtney.....💖
Women are not blinded by the bad boy phase!! They are literally obsessed with them and they would laugh at the guy who is sweet and kind to them!! They will never feel lucky to have a nice guy because they don't mess with their emotions!! Once everything is perfect that's when they leave!!
In reality, bad boy = good looks=genetic lottery. Because of good looks young women want to date them!! Because of over supply of women, they don't care about women.
Confident alpha dominant etc doesn't matter at young age if you are 6"4 athlete.
Bad boy is not looks. It's a personality.
You mentioned a lot of women that go for bad boys have some issue they need to work through. My experience (and seems like a lot of guys) is that it seems like A LOT of women are like this, then as everyone says, they complain about how they are treated but then run right back to that same type. It also doesn't help that there are guys (and one woman! Not you) that sell 'coaching plans' that TELL guys to treat women bad!
👍 Good video.
Personal change is not always bad.
Sometimes they really care for you.
Listening to some suggestions would have saved me 20+yrs of "The Good Life"
I think one the the biggest problems between men and women is evidenced by statistics found on dating sites that show that only the top 20% of men are getting 80% of the matches with women. Leading them to compete with that small number of men who have many options. On similar surveys women found 80% of men to be less attractive then they considered themselves.
“Often girls are blinded by guys who seem really nice at the beginning but then ends up being a bad boy and manipulative” then......”I know there are good guys out there too. I can speak from personal experience on that as well I get so many amazing comments and dms from so many of you guys....”.
Since these guys give her nice compliments in her dm’s they’re great guys lol So delusional
Great point, when courtney mentioned this, all i can think of was famous serial killer ted bundy.....and guess what happened when they fell for his tricks, dead! in a way when girls fall for bad guys....it can be very scary....falling for famous serial killers who have high body counts....oh brother! you know that all this stems from hybristophilia right?
I was dating an older woman occasionally when I was 20, and these times I was really bad boy ( idiot). She knew my criminal issues, and when we saw each other after a while, I told her that I have changed, I have a real job, and arranged my life etc. She was so disappointed that I couldn't believe.
You just described every scene with Chris & Adrianna from The Sopranos.
I just finished watching the scene where Silvio murders Adriana
Hahahahaha true
Old skool tv 📺
@@jorgegutierrez4426 out of camera. I don't know why. Because she's a woman?
@@malakbrood667 much worse have been done to women on screeen, 🤐.
Be a civilised good hearted bad boy
Just like fruit sweetest on inside and hard from out
Who really knows how to have control on emotions 🙏
Also forgot to mention....I think u should make a personal library tour...showcase ur choice of novels...that would be cool
I can do that!
Great video. We’re all finding out more and more of what we want and don’t want through experience. The things you don’t want in a partner help you identify and understand what you DO want in a partner. The more you enjoy the process of figuring it out, the more fun you’ll have in life and the happier you’ll be. Let’s stop being so hard on ourselves and those we are dating, and just enjoy the journey of discovering our preferences and gaining clarity about what we like.
Great video, Courtney!!! I 100% agree with everything but I think the point that stuck the biggest chord was what you said about what we learn from incompatible relationships. I have had just one partner to date. Since we spilt in 2016 I have realised how different we were, seen her bad points and realised it lasted as long as it did because of our issues and insecurities especially my own. I have spent the last 2 and half years working on myself. Now I am not far off moving from the UK to Ireland and start a new life. Finding new friends and a new partner. A healthier and more compatible partner!!!
I have wondered if this happens: Some girls have their first sexual experience with a bad boy, who is not intimidated by anyone and has an edge of criminality about him, and the relationship is very intense and imprints on their minds; that then results in the girl in later life trying to recreate that experience, and treating less "exciting" men with overt or concealed disdain.
Yes, that can happen. If a girl has had a past relationship with a very Alpha guy who left her, she can become an ”Alpha Widow”, who will always future compare relationships to that one.
Amen. Totally true.
ya, for sure my past relationships have proven to be something ive learned so much about life and also the areas that were lacking development. powerful growth comes from this that can take your life to elevated levels that wouldn't have been possible otherwise.
This has to be ur fav outfit 😄🤩have seen u in this many times...It's cute
Haha I do like it 😂👏🏼
@Rodent's Revenge dude u have a dirty mind😳😬
My thoughts "EXACTLY"!
@@CourtneyRyan so do I! 😘📱
Glad I grew up bad lol and a not give a dam attitude but I'm married now so.... Yea but my persona actually still works even being married, everything requires balance.😂
Hey thanks for the reminder on the giveaway form, I got carried away browsing Teddy’s website the other day and forgot to go back and add my selection lol when’s the cutoff btw?
Also I thought the overall message in this video was great. One of the reasons I like your channel is you do offer that balance. Some other channels I’ve watched will tell you how you’re supposed to act and all that, and I’m like “wait, but then you’re basically pretending to be someone you’re not, and that’s not good for you or her”.
It took me a long time to be comfortable enough with being a “nice guy” because it does have sort of that negative connotation these days. But as I’m sure Teddy can attest to, being a nice guy doesn’t mean you let people walk all over you. Personally I just try to approach everyone with warmth and compassion until they give me a reason not to.
Guys, build self-worth and self-discipline, girls are going to come and go, but your relationship with yourself matters the most.
Make her a PART of your life, NOT your WHOLE LIFE.
Associate with HIGH QUALITY People and make mistakes while you're young, no one is going to care about your failures in your 20s but you probably won't get a second chance in your 30s.
Well made video, fairly made your point. I have especially seen people in my life stick with their first because they don’t want to be negatively stigmatized as a bad girlfriend who gave up on a relationship amongst other issues, whereas I’ve met others who stick in a toxic cause they think they were so bad in their younger days. I think of dating as a learning phase both for yourself and with others. It’s very important to be in open communication.
The problem is that many women aren't mature enough to get out of the bad boy phase early. They get into it, start becoming addicted to it, stay in it for 10-20 years, wash up and have the AUDACITY to say "Where'd all the good men go"?
It's the confidence for 100%, it's a fine line between arrogance but when you walk that line so to speak you'll get a LOT more attention and just in general you will feel better in a group of people. Girls notice this the most out of all things a guy has to offer, it's not just the clothes guys or your job/car.
girls who dont realize that guys who walk this line are narcissists or faking it just to get laid, deserve what they get.
If I don't get a gf because I'm nice guy then I don't want one
Being a nice guy/good guy is a good thing. Don’t change!
@@CourtneyRyan bs/ cap
@@CourtneyRyan Being a nice guy is like being an average guy to most women!! They'll go after the Brads and Chads (WITHOUT BEING BLINDED) and then they'll look for the nice guy to use for resources!! They'll get married, the wife will make rules, the guy will receive less sex and still has to pay for it unlike the Chads who got it for free, they'll have kids then the wife will get bored for whatever reason, she divorces him and takes half his life away!! The house and lifestyle he worked hard for will mean nothing!!! He still has to pay for the house he doesn't live in, alimony and child support for the kids he can't even see every day!! This is why nice guys finish last and this bs that you and society keep telling us that "every woman wants a man to treat me with love and respect" is a myth!!! End of convo.
@@mlctv6547 being a good guy or nice guy isn’t bad. It’s only bad when you use it towards women who only surround themselves with assholes. A good guy can pull a Courtney no problem.
@@quiksc0pe139 how many Courtneys exist tho? I would happily date a Courtney no problem but how many of them exist?
Thank you for caring and taking the time to help people. You do make a difference!
Women don't change because they suddenly stopped liking a bad boy... they don't have a choice... they have to settle
Thank you Courtney for making such a good videos and very impressed by your support.. Keep on supporting . 😍😍😘
Courtie can you please make a video on guys with social anxiety? I believe it's much worse for guys suffering from SAD as compared to girls, hence we really need your advice on this🙏🏻
I think Anxiety really sucks for girls too. Just like with guys it stops them feeling attractive, they can't form relationships, they misinterpret cues.
When men talk about women frequently going after “bad boys” they are usually talking about guys with all the cultivated image of high level male without the substance of one. The guy who cultivates an athlete image with body fat percentage and clothes but is average or below at any sport. The tough guy that has never been in a fight and cusses and cries when he stubs his toe. The guy with the clothes, car, etc of a financial high level but not the actual high level income. The “rock star” with no musical talent. The bad boy thing is really women chasing phony images of masculinity over realty. No man is mystified by a beautiful woman dating a real pro athlete or rockstar. Unfortunately, women who can’t tell image from substance by early 20s often never can. She won’t see the substance of the man that works hard at his job and comes home to her over that guy the flirts with her at her job when he should be working.
I don't want to be a nice guy or see myself as a nice guy, I'm just happy to be a guy you like and want to be with.
Playing sport also teaches you alot about life. The "bad boy" is the one who has his desires in check and is realising his potential which naturally comes with financial, spiritual and mental success. A man must be focused on his goals not being a bad boy. I laugh at bad boys. They boys. Not men
The term is hybristophilia, the reason why Bonnie Parker was attracted to Clyde Barrow, (Bonnie and Clyde).
You just need to learn which women are worth some of your time. I'd rather be flying solo then riding with crazy 🤪
Truth bombs galore. Thank you Courtney. I never miss a video. Your channel is a very healthy one.
Confident, strong, but not manipulative!!
The question is not why they do it, the question is what makes them think it’s okay to do it, and why they think there won’t be accountability later.
The worst part of all of it: men tend to get sucked back into being the bad boy (worser version) because they see it work on someone they think is attractive. Sadly, us men are prone to considering it even when we learn better. It's always all about the paradigm: what everyone thinks about what everyone thinks about. What men think women want is a primary driver, so remember to be yourself
Seems to be a common topic for some reason but she is spot on when she says you shouldn't be chasing after someone who clearly doesn't want you and you shouldn't want to be with a woman who is doing that anyway. I've been married for a long time so it doesn't affect me but when I was single that was pretty much my take on it. Why waste any emotional energy on that? Just move on.
4:15 Also thank u for complimenting us in this video 😂❤❤❤
❤️❤️🥰
I finally know now what I want = I have played the field, now am over the hill, no longer fun, date only up, and expect men to accommodate my entitled attitude and ballooning backside.
Im 45 i been a bad boy since i was 16 ..
I have not met any chick who was average looking or above average looking who didnt fall inlove with out toxic traits.
The women who i had the longest relationships were women who chased me.
Although my 1 year relationship with my ex wasn’t this toxic, i was emotionally unavailable at the start which i’m now healing due to baggage. Once I told her i loved her 8 months in I feel like she started pulling back, due to being cheated on in the past and trauma there.
Part of me wishes I could send her this video :(
Dont tell a narcissist you love them. Once they hear that it's all down hill. I made that mistake. And felt the same way you did. I wish I was more awake back then. And I wouldn't of wasted over a decade. Time heals all wounds but you never get time you wasted dwelling.
@@TapiaJ Brother it’s hard to tell a narcissist, chances are she may not have been one. And while I agree there’s a time and place to be vulnerable, I don’t think NOT saying you love someone is a solution either (if you want a healthy balanced relationship). They’re just playing games at that point and you’re better off without them. But don’t close yourself off because of one person.
@@HarrisKray after that relationship I didnt give up. Tried like 10 more times. It's just so odd that every relationship was the same. All of them had past trauma and hade ex husband's/boyfriends that were cheaters or abusive. I decided to work on myself after that. My boundaries were eroded after that first relationship. My self confidence was pushed way down. But now I'm in a healthy state of mind. I just never realized that most women out there go after confident guys because they want to break them. Its happening to me in my 40's. They still try.
@@TapiaJ Yeah man there are some real pieces of work out there, but plenty of gems too. I’d recommend watching some Aaron Doughty, has some cool ideas on how we attract what we are vibrating at. Good luck !
Hi, greetings to you from Nigeria 🇳🇬,am lucy and this is my first time to meet you here on RUclips,I saw your profile pic and I really love what I saw,l hope you wouldn't mind, can we be friends,if so DM me
It’s all about the confidence who doesn’t like a confident person
Most Nice guys lack confidence
Excellent video. Thanks for boiling it down to the addiction to stimulation created by chaos and the need to ultimately do some self work on the behalf of that individual. Sincerely appreciate this perspective. 👍
Some women grow out of that stage after 1 bad boy bf, others after 15 or 20 or 50 of them.
The problem is a lot of women get with these "bad boys" young and cone out lesser than what they were and the "good guys" are expected to pick up the slack
The guys you see women with at 40 are the guys they ignored at 20
Its Simple. Dominance.
Can't believe how much wisdom you have for someone your age.
My wife grew up in a home with a narcissist and alcoholic as a father. She didn't have a bad childhood but it was chaotic. He aas a good provider and eventually became a successful executive at a large local company; but sometimes treated his family badly.
As a result, she thought thay was supposed to be normal as it was all she knew. She used to chase the bad boys for that reason.
At some point she sought therapy due to mental health issues she believed to be, at least in part, due to her chaotic upbringing. Through this she realized the reason she had trouble in relationships is that she was drawn to partners with traits similar to her father.
When she got back into the dating scene it she spent 2 years dating before we met. When she recognized the bad boy traits she moved on, but sometimes that took a while until she realized she was chasing someone who would probably not ultimately give her what she needed from a relationship.
Then I entered the dating scene when my first marriage ended. She didn't know what to think of me at first. She kept comparing me to her ex's and her father and waiting to see those negative traits come out.
It eventually lead to a big fight, where I had told her if I have never given a valid reason to mistrust me, she had better start or the relationship would not survive.
It was at that point, she realized what she saw in me that attracted her, that I was different from her last partners and what she saw was genuine.
We still argue occasionally about things, but she realized at that moment she had actually found the kind of guy she wanted. One that was kind, caring and faithful and treated her well because thats just who I am; not as a means to get something from her and cast her aside when I got what I wanted.
We got married 3 years after we met and couldnt be happier together. She's realized the reason her past relationships didn't work out is because she was chosing the wrong type of guy, thinking she could change them instead of looking for a guy who was already what she wanted.
Why does nobody say that women attracted to bad boys is just poor judgement?
So in short young girls are immature?? Rather focus on my career than fool around relationships and stuff... 🙄
Why did this just save me from a lonely bad night :( thank you
"Some sort of issues they need to work on".....you are so kind.
i sit around watching people walk by a good bit,i see many what seem to be very nice guys.u know what else i see,they are walking alone.we live in a culture that makes about 90 percent of ladies want the either rich,,badboy,,or hot looking guys and will never settle for anything else.guys look up mgtow videos.its the best way i know to understand female nature and how u should respond.seriously in todays times u could get in trouble trying to find a lady to date if u are not the right guy.im 53 now and have seen the changes over the years in dating.its not good for u guys.best thing i know is the power of your indifference will help keep u safe from legal troubles and can some times make some ladies come up to u instead u u coming to them.
Time to bust out of Prison all the rapist, serial killers, etc. They are quite charming on the surface when you first meet them !!! Ladies, have fun with these "bad boys" !
I dated somebody like that who was always in chaos. So we split. My buddy who is the same as her asked if I minded if he dated her, I said go ahead. However you two will be volatile together. Well I was right. They picked a fight and some other couple kicked the butts…they ended up in the hospital. She usually started those fights. I can’t tell you how many’s times I had to deal with her attitude in public!
Hi, greetings to you from Nigeria 🇳🇬,am lucy and this is my first time to meet you here on RUclips,l saw your profile pic and I really love what I saw.l hope you wouldn't mind can we be friends,if so DM me
I will always do the best to improve life for myself, love myself and respect others around me. But I will not completely change my character to be a bad boy. Going outside of your boundaries of who you are naturally as a person is fake. It is better to be real and true.
If the lady cannot accept that, she isn't the one for you. She also is probably doing you a huge favor by not saying yes and longing to be with you. Everyone has different stages in their life when they mature and grow up.......................and then there are some..................they never do!
This weight... Never before have the Feels ever been so heavy. So much truth in so few words. Thanks for the clarification Courtney , Much appreciated
They invoke emotions in a woman. Emotions are a womans currency. It doesn't really matter what the emotions are as long as they are often.
the bad boys are also usually emotionally completely desensitized and narcissistic so its impossible to hurt their feelings because they dont have any and you cant break their heart because they only love themselves. which means that you can use them for sex and drama without feeling guilty about it. abusing a man with feelings makes them feel bad and then they start to question "am i a good person" and the answer is no. so they avoid that.
It's very simple. Things that you cannot have, or reject you, you will want them more and go after them more. If a "Bad Boy" rejects a woman, she pursues him more. Then he discards her for the next woman in his bed. She sometimes becomes a single mother in her haste to pursue the Bad Boy. She settles for some soyboi or normal guy later in life and always dreams about eloping with the Bad Boy who got away. The Bad Boy excited her lady parts. The normal guy does not.
Bad boy craving is purely US European phenomenon. It is a serious indication of decline of a society. It is young people who continue to be immature, and uninformed in their 20s and even 30s. Hence end up as pregnant mothers and not able to contribute to the society.
Don’t usually comment, however you’re giving me hope that I just may be ok and maybe this could be fun? Divorce is a crazy maze but I’m getting through.
PS, the way that your hair frames your face with your soft curls in the end… Courtney, wow, you’re an incredible work of art. To your fiancé: impressive bro! Hope your day is good to y’all
I worked for a while as a driver for the nightclub industry. The ladies would send me across the city because their guy needed money for smokes or he forgot to pick up their kid at childcare, etc.. I would not say that for the most part these were high quality men.
So what's the attraction? In some cases drugs. But in most cases is was the ladies asserting their independence/rebellion. I'm going to date they guy their friends and family hate because I can. They would pass up even the best patrons in the club and go straight back to the guy that never pays his child support because the more everyone else hated him, the more they liked him.
First of all; you need to work on your grammar. Second of all, it seems like you're trying to assign a pseudo-logical reason to a situation that's made up of both logical and illogical factors. The illogical factor that I feel you're ignoring is the fact that physical attraction is inherently senseless. For example: why are people attracted to larger breasts? Some people say its biological, and that women with larger breasts are better equipped to nurture children. But large breasts don't contain more milk than small breasts. Breasts are attractive because they just are to some people. So women are attracted to "bad boys" simply because that's what they're attracted to. There are other factors too though. My guess is that these women were likely in bad environments that led them to these relationships, which is really sad. As for why a women would continue to keep in contact with their children's fathers is self explanatory. She made need financial support, a break taking care of the child, or simply want their kid to know it's dad. Try to sympathize with these women a little more. Yeah, they may be better off without those men, but there certainly are reasons that explain those stories pretty well. (That don't rely on an "independent woman bad" explanation.)
As to taming the Bad Boy, that runs to a very deep seated female fantasy. A man who is strong, lethal and dangerous, IF she can be the one to tame him, makes the ultimate protector for her and the children she is going to have with him, plus he’s got the best genes, fittest body etc. etc. Female evolutionary psychology 101, and the basis for pretty much the basis for all romantic fem-fiction.
I believe its an age thing 18-27 usually chase clout, status etc. 28 and up usually look for stability
Do you have any idea how this is devastating is for good guys ? They get dumped , rejected and their feelings are hurt just coz some women have a taste for bad boys.
Not just some women, billions.
I just turned 31 and re-watched Disney’s Beauty and the Beast with my niece.
I actually thought to myself wait, shed rather go with the actual beast than the successful hunter trying to protect his village. Sure he’s manipulative, vain, but he is handsome AND he WANTS to marry her.
Lol hear me out 😂
I think Belle went with Beast because she thought that she had influenced Beast to be the good person. When in reality, Beast was already a good person inside. (And a baller, he had a dope mansion).
(I had too much coffee this morning lol)
You need to be careful of watching too many Hallmark movies....
@@SSGTA440 agreed 100%