This happened to me. I can’t begin to tell people how betrayed I felt. I have been divorced for nineteen years and it still hurts. If you are gay, don’t try and fix yourself by marrying someone who is straight. It’s selfish.
That happened to my friend. Within a year of marriage, she was pregnant but lost the child. Had given up her job. Lost her home. He was last seen running down a London street in his stilettoes. Her M in L blamed her. She got a poorly paid receptionist job. Went back to school. Became a nurse... then head of ICU, taught trainee nurses, became a tutor at a university. Bought a house. Then, Head of a uni department. Then, she traveled the world teaching medical and religious ethics to government health departments. Awesome life. She ain't nowhere without him. She never remarried. Only regret...no children. Recovered from the betrayal. All the best to you, Rachel.
I think being gay and getting married pretending to be straight is so cruel ruining the other person life , it is so selfish just thinking about themselves.
Debbie Cicalese As a Christian, gay man myself I agree. These men are usually taught by their churches to hate themselves so much though that they either A) go into complete denial of their sexuality or B) Marry a woman, thinking it will “fix” them. Thankfully while I did struggle with my parents for years I never struggled with my faith. The only women I lack sympathy for are the ones who knowingly marry gay men. Also I think this is happening less & less as our society progresses & many churches become more accepting. I never so much as dated a girl, my parents came around & at age 32 I’ve been happily with my now husband for 13 years. 🙂
@Belltown Daisy well an angel was looking out for you. You had a lucky escape ,nice move outing him here 😁 maybe some of the other women that know men like that should do it to ,it could let others know who these men are and at least help you feel better good luck from London 🙂
I can understand why she had to go through the process of burying her ring. It's a furnial of the marriage . I had to pawn my ring because I needed the money to live on. This is a well made video.
I married a man that ended up cheating on me with multiple men. When I finally divorced him, I wanted nothing to do with him. So I didn’t even got the ring sold or pawned, I just got rid of it. I didn’t want anything to do with him.
Mine kept it up for 7 years. He never ever touched me sexually. It destroyed my self esteem. I finally found a box in the trunk of the car with make up, glitter, condoms etc.. I felt so betrayed, but all the secrecy finally made sense.
cledwyn stafford no it’s not. It truly isn’t. Go to a psychiatrist and a therapist and explain what’s going on. They’d be able to help you explain to your family. You don’t need to cheat, EVER. If you’ve got sexual tension, and you’ve got hands, there’s negative excuses.
I'm a gay man I find this heartbreaking. I can't imagine the pain of my spouse hiding a huge part of themselves, lying to me, and have the nerve to cheat. The "gay agenda" is trying to de-stigmatize the shame of being gay so this type of thing doesn't happen. No one should be used as a pawn.
Alik Matus it’s society’s fault. Gay men are expected to straighten up. This means that gay men are somehow supposed to force themselves marry the opposite sex.
Thank you for helping others, it had to be so hard in the recent past for the g/l people w all the prejudiced minds, I'm straight and had hell mom always complain about not being married, I'm sure the peer pressure pushed that. Hopefully the future will help
christ....stay single or get married to the same sex. DON'T do this to unsuspecting innocent people. it angers and irritates me. NO ONE wants to be duped and cheated. they don't deserve it.
It's because of religion, you get it in your head that who you are is wrong so you try to hide it, change it, be 'normal', you don't go into it intending to hurt anyone.
@@FeelTheLack He made me feel inadequate. as a young and attractive women it was depressing. he even said asked how i could enjoy life when there was so much pain in the world. I was nineteen. Now decades later i have to wonder why i would even tolerate being around someone so freaking negative.
That's ridiculous. The kids wouldn't even be here today if he hadn't fathered them. Would they have preferred a different father? Sorry, that means they would not even have been born; someone else would have been born instead. Their father is gay, but it was still his sperm that impregnated their mother's egg.
There's no question that they didn't have a sperm dad to create them, what im referring to is that the idea of these fathers being deceitful throughout the relationship about their sexual orientation had jeopardized the security of these children. Whether or not the father is around or not around is questionable, but most of the time they run off after a divorce, and are not around like living at home, where they should be. We're not talking about whether the father is who he says he is.
@@belinalug6928 How does the fact of him being gay jeopardize their security? Do you think children don't eventually grow up and become adults, able to make their own decisions and judgments? Children are often a lot wiser about these things than their parents are.
belin lug can u please elaborate on ur comment? I honestly don't understand what u mean? I'm not being hateful I'm genuinely confused? How did the guy,p having a gay affair cheat the kids from having a father? Would it be the same if he had an affair with a woman? I am confused by ur comment?
AS a Gay man I have troubles with my sexsuality. But marrying a straight person, would just be wrong. So many Women fell for me, because I was so relatable. But to marry to hide or escape my homosexuality, would hurt so many people.
That’s exactly what I’ve been doing for my entire life No matter what the cost is I’m not gonna make a descent woman and lovely children live miserably just because of my fear of coming out
I worked with a lady whose husband said after 30 years of marriage, "I'm gay and want a divorce." They had 5 children whose lives were also shattered in the process. It nearly destroyed the wife. I have never felt sorrier for anyone in my life than I felt for the wife. She is still single even 10 years later
It's a timing thing. After a thirty year marriage, gay men can find new partners. For most women in those relationships,, their options are limited if they have any options at all. It's sad that these men took the best years of these women's lives. IMO, I believe this is fraud and should be treated as such.
Sumarluco I a agree. If one of the wife's would have been infected by a sexually transmitted diseases like AIDS. Wouldn't that be considered attempted murder?
Sung, that is still narcissistic. They are putting their desires over the needs of their spouse, causing great pain to others to fulfill their want to be viewed a certain way by society. Single men have entered suffered greatly enough to justify causing such pain to another.
This happened to my aunt. It was so awful. She was a stay at home mom who never had a career. Lost her home in the divorce. She's married to a very nice wealthy guy now, which she totally deserves after the garbage she went through.
I read all the comments talking about the gay person wasting the straight persons life. That’s not the worst part of this, putting your spouses’s life at risk is. I have zero compassion for the gay people who do this
This stereotype is repeated so many times that it should be dead and laying in the grave by now. There are a LOT of heterosexuals who carry these std's and doing devil's tango without protection. Most of the time you won't even know if you have std until you have a test.
(I am guessing you are a straight female) I feel sorry for both, imagine you live in a world were people expect you to marry a woman and you get authorised for not doing so, then imagine you marry a girl, you and most other people would probably cheat.
Mrs. Enys there’s unfaithfulness in both straight and gay relationships and both sides have risk. Don’t start pointing fingers when you need to get the facts right. It’s not entirely gay peoples fault. It’s society’s fault in part. Because gay men are expected to “straighten up” I say this a lot. Being gay is hard as it is and there’s no acceptance but only hate and disgust to gay men. If gay men marry straight women it is not to cheat on them but because society expects them to. Their families friends and religious people. I’m sure many gay men married women hoping it would change them. So are you expecting them to be perfect and never make mistakes? Also many straight relationships end pretty bad and probably the worse. You have two people who are really compatible and one decides to cheat and there are many who also get diseases. I once met a guy who was straight and confessed to me he had stds and gonorhea but he talked about all the girls he’s been with. Next thing I know, he was already talking to another girl he met and was trying to get with her for the night. The point is, don’t point fingers and generalize.
This happened to my mom, I’m almost completely sure that my father had me and my sister out of “social obligation” and the “image” of our family. His dad was really homophobic, and I’m guessing my father suppressed the urges to come out because he was also a narcissist. Seriously, if you’re gay, don’t try to change yourself. Be who you are, and do not deceive the people you love.
@@allanhunt685 Omg get real! How can we blame society and the church in this day in age? Now days people pretty much walk on eggshells around the LGBTQ people !!
@@carlamartinez3631 I don't think these stories are from "this day and age" Obviously these people are older and even the documentary is from 2008. I would say all of this happened may in the early 90's or 80's, maybe even 70's.
@@Saf_Ibn_Sayyad_Baconhe had "discovered" himself with his major life love in high school, a widened his scope for many years afterwards with many others including dragging a guy he and his two female roommates (one of whom he played hetero house with for years) then performing all kinds of sex acts on this unsuspecting male as he slept and so he could watch his 2 GFs ride these cowboys who never learned what had been done to him nor by whom. I was well aware of his bisexuality long before meeting me and my daughter or our having two children together.
My husband was a serial cheater. He lived a double life. I finally divorced him after 38 years. Didn't know why he never hugged me at all. I was always worried. I don't hate him and he had cancer and died in 02. I went and helped him till the end. Everyone thought he was very wonderful. He never supported me emotionally or physically. He made a good living and seemed to love our three kids. I can't hate. Hate is so bad to live with.
I married a very handsome guy, some people warned me about him, but I just didn´t see it, then once in the house, I noticed some men coming to see him, they did not come inside the house, but he would run outside shirtless to greet them, I thought that was weird, then so many other issues happened, finally we separated and he asked me to please come back to him, he said he was going to seek help, I didn´t.
You did the right thing. It sounds like he wanted you to be there to take care of him, house and home while he went off to play and have fun on his own terms. Very selfish people out there, not just gay people. Straight cheaters do it all the time. They want to mess around while they always beg for their wives to take them back.
It's awful to find out your partner is gay because it means they never loved you. Not the way you assumed. It's humiliating and hurtful. They must think you are stupid or at least not have respect for you. All the memories are tainted by the knowledge that they had this secret and you feel so foolish. It should be illegal.
I don’t know about being illegal, but it’s a terrible thing to do to someone. I think if we are a more accepting society then people can live in it without secrets.
@@K209-w4w I think if you trick a woman into supporting you and having your children and throwing away any chance she had at her own life, the way she wants her life to be, that is fraud. I hope these people get a HUGE settlement in the divorce. It's one thing to pretend to be straight. It's another to hijack someones life and womb. I live on the West Coast of Canada, where the crosswalks are rainbows and gay people are everywhere yet I still got played by a gay man with an image to tend to. I'm furious.
Narcissists are incapable of love. They're wildly self-absorbed, but they can't truly even love themselves. ...and they have almost no conscience...which is why they can live that double life and still sleep like a baby right next to you. They are entirely devoid of empathy for others, even their own children.
Married 20 yrs to a gay man, and no he wasn't confused. He had been sleeping boys/men at the age of 16.. I was only 19 when he married and gay wasn't out of the closet in 1980... lies upon lies. He stole my youth all while he was very happy. After 20 yrs. And the Lord open my eyes to every man he slept with. He then wouldn't let me go, two amazing boys I decided not to say why I was divorcing for them. He stole my kids. Homes, business, family, friends and even my church. "The great deceiver" God is good, healing takes time. But don't shed another tear because they are not. Take back your dignity, forgive and run as fast you can.. prayers
My first boyfriend was gay. His dad was a homophobic cop, so my boyfriend was in denial into his late 20’s. Everyone knew, but he couldn’t accept himself. My first husband was also a hidden bisexual. When I confronted him about his search history, after 13 years of abuse from him, he had a psychotic break and tried to kill me. I finally escaped while he was locked up. He went to “Gay Conversion” and got “religion” and went on to marry another girl and have two kids with her. She disappeared off of social media, and he’s back in my town alone. I hope he didn’t kill them. 🙁
I want to thank the person who posted this. Thank you. It helps out a lot of youngsters that have gut feelings of their partner living a double life and thus can understand what kind of a relationship they are in. It helped me to understand what I'm feeling as it resonates. I can't stop reading the comment section as it is hard in real life to find people who understand what you're going through. Thank you for posting.
I had the opposite experience: my "lesbian" partner left me after 14 years for a man with 2 kids. They married after less than a year, took my beloved cat to the shelter that she *swore* to care for after kicking me out (I had to move across the country abruptly w/ nowhere to take him) ...almost killed me. She'd not only sworn she was lesbian but said she was happy with a childfree life, called the cat our "baby," etc. All lies. Betrayal hurts. Finding out someone you trusted so deeply is an entirely different person hurts in a specially awful way. Fucks with your ability to trust at all. Be honest or stay single.
She sounds like she was very confused. She was probably molested when she was younger and didn't feel safe around men.. until she met one that she COULD and DID trust and feel safe with and then her TRUE nature was able to blossom and be allowed to be.
My moms first husband was gay and she walked in on him with his lover, it nearly killed her, and while she later met and married my Dad, i do not think she ever got over it
It must feel terrible to wake up one day and find out the person you are married to is not who you thought they were. That the relationship was all a lie. And then to look back and see that everything now makes perfect sense. The sense of betrayal must be off the charts.
I'm lesbian myself, and been determined not to live a lying life. because I had witnessed my dad infidelity and know how its hurt. it's been painful, for families, but I was determined not to be false with myself and please others. Thanks for sharing!!
As long as society discriminates and crushes people for being gay, this will continue to happen and it’s a heartbreak for everyone concerned. Ive seen whole families turn on someone who came out and disown them. No wonder they are afraid to tell the truth.
That’s a bullshit excuse for narcissism and sociopathic behavior by these liars. Our society does not discriminate against gays, if anything more so than ever , gays are celebrated and glorified in our society. This is about men who enjoy the conning and secrecy , this is about narcissitic abuse and living with a psychopath. When you marry a woman and have kids with her , you e taken it to a whole new level. This isn’t about society shaming you anymore . This is playing a very dangerous and fake game with someone else’s life , body and soul. We need to stop making excuses for narcs
This is why conversion therapy is so dangerous. Not only is it harmful to the person experiencing it, but pushing them towards pursuing a straight relationship is unfair to both parties
Lindsay Brewer Except for those who succeed! This video is about those who LIED and FAILED to change; the video about those who told the TRUTH and SUCCEEDED at converting is a different one.
@@debras3806 there's no way to succeed and convert, all of the conversion therapies have never been proven to work, and some of the biggest ones have closed down. 1 of the leaders of a conversion therapy company came out as gay.
Thank you for saying this. I don't think a lot of people in the comments understand how common so called " conversion therapy" is and how it damages gay men mentally . These so called " conversion therapy counselors" often pressure men who are gay to date and marry women. Their families and churches usually do the same. The solution to this problem is to 1. Ban ALL conversion therapy, and have long prison sentences for those caught practicing it, and 2. Shout down and mock any religious people that support that nonsense and who believe that homosexuality is a choice or a sin.
I’m an advocate for the gay community and I really do get the reasons gay people choose to live a lie. But it’s still totally crappy. You don’t do this to another person. You don’t cause them this kind of pain.
5 лет назад
Gay is not gay.
5 лет назад+1
Gay is all that is not gay.
5 лет назад
@@ascent8487 , Not much for you and your friends being normal heterosexuals, huh. No, instead you're all sex perverts of the worst kind, homosexuals.
Unconditional LOVE until someone contracts Aids. How low our self-esteem has become when we allow ourselves to be USED by a liar with our permission. I have NEVER recovered BUT he did. IT'S NOT OKAY TO DESTROY ANOTHER PERSON'S LIFE TO PROTECT YOUR SELFISH OWN.
@@lilmule9576 So you're implying that anyone who contracted HIV/aids is a "bad" person? Very narrow minded opinion to have, absolutely ANYONE can get HIV, it's not just in the gay population, in fact the group that's most at risk now for infection are seniors, straight or gay doesn't matter, everyone is at risk if safe sex isn't practiced, including you.
hattie nuff he never said anything of that. He said being unfaithful can have bad consequences like AIDS, whether straight or gay. So if you dont love your partner, you shouldnt marry.
A lot of these comments are from scorned women (and men). This is so heartbreaking to me. Here’s a comment from a child of this kind of situation: I lived what I thought was a typical childhood. But my mom always had simmering anger towards my father that we could not understand as children. We had absolutely NO idea what was really happening, but knew that they would be better off divorced. After 25 years marriage they finally did. And we all found out about my dad’s years of constant cheating on my mom. I felt so guilty for blaming her for her anger, that was obviously justified, but also angry at both of them for maintaining such a carefully cultivated lie. My dad stole YEARS of my mom’s life and happiness. He betrayed her and our trust as his children. They both said they wanted to stay together for the children, but that’s ridiculous. Don’t put your bad decision making on us. Kids would much rather have split happy parents than together miserable ones. Now my mom has a hard time finding a new partner. She is lonely and reckless in searching for a new one, but people can be cruel and crazy, and of course my mom has major trust issues. My dad never apologized wholeheartedly for his actions, contracted HIV (thankfully my mom didn’t contract it), but still ignores his role in pulling apart our family. He speaks ill of my mother and blames her for abandoning him. He feels cheated out of “his” money when they split their property 50/50 in the settlement, and he still owes my mom about 5 grand for child support of my younger sister who was in high school at that time. His personality when I was a child seems a complete fabrication, and this is the most difficult to deal with. Men who were gay, but felt it was unsafe to come out, I have immense sympathy for. I don’t think being gay is wrong or sinful. But gay people who married straight partners had a choice. They could have just stayed single. Is it a nice choice to have to make? No. But one should never burden another, whom they say they love, with something so very deceptive. It is damaging for everyone involved.
Oh dear I found my self reading the story of my life The same exact thing happened to me My mom felt betrayed and there was a chance of her getting HIV through him but luckily she didn’t And the worst part is he hasn’t come to terms with and never said sorry to my mom or to me We suffered a lot in the last few years That’s why I’ll never forgive him And I can’t express my deep sorries for what happened to you We both deserve happiness ❤
@M Z Thank you, and same to you. I've very much been able to move past the hurt and now, unfortunately, just have a superficial relationship with my father. Thus is life. I'm sorry for your pain, and I think you hit the nail on the head. He'll never apologize or take responsibility for the damage. That's probably the most painful part. The hypocrisy of it still shocks me sometimes, but I'm in a much happier place. I hope you're able to move on and work on your chosen family. Sending virtual hugs ❤️.
I'm a gay man and growing up the pressure from family members and relatives to get married was so great, that's difficult to escape. During my adolescent years and young adulthood, every time my parents took me to visit with grandparents, they would always asked me if I have a girlfriend and when am I going to get married. They asked me this question every single time I visited them, over and over again for many years. The same thing with my aunts and uncles. It seemed like that is all they care about. Every time there is a family gathering, everyone want to know when I'm going to get married. The pressure is constant and relentless to the point where I thought about getting married just to shut everyone up. If you are questioning your sexuality and your family and friends put a lot of pressure on you to get married, you will start doubting yourself and think maybe they are right. Although my grandparents have passes away, I can still hear their nagging voice in my head asking me "When are you going to get married?"
I have been watching this documentary over and over again , I'm a gay guy , I too wanted to marry a woman and just take that marriage as far as possible. But I have realised that it does tremendous damage to women's mental health and her self esteem.
Ok but what if you told her and stayed honest to her? Maybe you could experience you love her on many ways that would make a marriage work, not everything is about sex only. Would it be hard? Yes for sure, wouldn't it be worth? Well that depends on if there is enough to be attracted to in your partner. What I hate the most about sexual orientation is, how much influence it has on our decision how we live our lifes and whom we want to be together with. I myself experience being in rather a similar situation. How great would it be being able to fall in love with the person rather the gender? Research should reallay start to be undertaken for this matter.
I’m a gay man and I remember back when I had found out about my sexuality I thought marrying a gorgeous woman would solve my “problem” And I’m glad that I understood myself and educated myself and now i know for sure that I’m better off single than being in a miserable marriage
@@originalThePlague you assume a lot. After deciding not to marry a woman I also decided to be virgin for the rest of my life (now you may calm down). I did gay conversion therapy for 11 years (from 2008 to 2019) , nothing changed except me becoming suicidal. Exodus international , journey into manhood , love in action , NAARTH , fathers for life and many more. I'm born again devoted Protestant Methodist Christian born and brought up in traditional Methodist Christian home and environment.
@@originalThePlagueJust no. It’s the one thing you agree not to do with anyone else. Find a woman you can be a good friend with if you want that type of woman to man relationship.
After being with my husband 7 years,he finally tells me he wants to be with men.I was shocked ,hurt,stunned and felt abandoned.I was not good enough ,conned by a stranger I thought I knew all these years.I knew he was up to something,middle night on the computer ,he was distant. I blamed myself for years.my oldest said I should have stayed and worked harder.I still struggle with this.
Im so sorry for your situation...just know that it is not your fault,you cant do more no matter what,its your husband. Cherish your life while you still can. Find your happiness. You can🙏
Don't ruin the rest of your life for a loser! Get over it and move on because it's *not* your fault. You've lost enough already, he's not worth any more!
You did the right thing by leaving God will give the strength and courage you need daily to go through staying put you at risk for contracting HIV am proud of you
This happened to me in my twenties. I hope he found his man and left his crazy hyper religious family. I was lucky in that it was only one year and I was in denial for half that so basically the dating years of four years wasted. How can people hide this for decades?.? Wow
That they can do it for decades shows just how deep that fear of being exposed can go. I'd bet most of the people in this video were raised by very religious families. 'Hyper-religious' as you called it.
Religion. U got it one! A mixture of religious families and heteronormative society telling men that the only way to be resected is too meet a girl, settle down, marry, have children. Until society stops homophobia gays will continue to marry staights. It's a sad vicious circle
@@briannabrittany3127 Yep. Religion is the cause of all these lies that many gay men tell. It's time to shout down the religious people that say homosexuality is a choice or a sin. It's not and it can't be changed through prayer or therapy.
My ex ex boyfriend recently got married, and his new wife has no idea what she’s let herself in for. The man told me he wasn’t fully straight, used to look at men on the tube and use to say some very strange things. He said he wouldn’t rule out a relationship with a man in the future. It’s only a matter of time until he fully comes out. He’s closeted and desperately wants to be seen to “have it all” the wife, the house, the babies. I refused to play along and he knew I was going to fully find out. Leaving him was the best decision I ever made.
My mother had a childhood friend who married a gay man knowing he was gay. He had an affair during their marriage but came back to his wife because he didn’t want to lose his children. They are old and still together.
I was married 21 years before I found out my husband was gay. Yes gay, we hardly ever if at all had sexual relations because he said he was raped as a child and I believed him. I had two beautiful boys that are successful and they in time have hated their father. I remarried and found the right person for me. Sometimes women can be so blind sighted by men.
Why hate him? For being gay? For divorce? He didn't abuse you, right? Nor his children? 'Hate' sounds bit strong!! Sounds like you 'hate' him, though! Emotions like disappointment, anger, feeling betrayed, etc are normal in this situation! Hate, nope!
@@johnoakes4143 maybe the kids hate him for lying and hiding. Imagine living and growing up thinking something is wonderful and happy then someone ruins everything. All the memories of their dad being loving to their mom is lies, happy family moments are lies, etc etc. THAT would be a huge reason to hate their father, not because he is gay but what he was doing and that he was lying to everyone especially his children.
My husband cheated on me with his male friend. One day I asked my husband how could you both do this to me? This person is a snake i been cooking for him when he comes to the house he drinks our soda and beers yet not satisfied he stole my husband from me and created so much trouble in my life. I really felt betrayed 💔 My husband blamed me for me being such a good wife, it really hurt me so much 💔
My husband was gay. He tried to tell me that I was out of my mind and unbalanced. It took the other man's boyfriend to bring it to my attention. He wanted a wife and the family but to live the gay lifestyle. I hope he gets every disease imaginable. I hope everything that is bad that can happen would happen to him
Loretta Collins, I too, experienced this charade...gave my heart to the man (?) I was going to spend the rest of my life with. If you don't put this behind you and "kick rocks" the stress will cause all sorts of medical issues...it has to do with the auto-immune system. You are a lovely young lady with a future ahead of you..don't let this deviate get you down!
If it was incredibly painful, scarring and extremely confusing and disheartening to find out my on and off boyfriend of 3 years was gay (and I was about 20 back then), I cant even imagine what it feels like when you've married that person, have kids and have made a life with them. Dang that must be hard!!!
I married at 23 in1983 to a man who was 33. He wanted a family and we had a daughter 18 months later. I was so lonely with him in every way. I left him 3 years later. I told him 'I think you are gay' he neither agreed or denied it. My daughter came home from a weekend visit with him saying ' dad was in bed with uncle Ken'...so I had guessed right. The thing was I was physically very attractive. The comment in this video from the gay man who said 'I had everything - a beautiful wife a child...' really made sense to me. But you soon loose your sense of self esteem when yoru partner doesnt want you or find you sexually attractive.All our friends when I left him though I was crazy and I lost them too because of his fear of coming out.. I lost my trust in men completely. Things were very hard. I raised my daughter on my own. I never got to say how hard that was, I never got to talk to anyone about why and what happened I just worked hard. The thing is the isolation because if you tell what has happened you and your child get judged or negated. My daughter is 35 now and is the facilitator to for an organisation that supports all varieties of people with gender difference. I am so lucky she grew up knowing how it is that society norms can cause so much pain for people if they are naturally outside this...and that celebrating difference and connection to other is where unconditional love lies.
My ex-wife is lesbian, but didn't "come out" until after we had been married for many years. I didn't understand it at the time, and the first two years after we divorced were the hardest. But I don't blame her for what happened. I know she didn't do it on purpose, and I know she didn't do it to hurt me, and she wasn't using me to hide behind me. She was doing what she had been taught and what she had been led to believe; that getting married would "fix" her. The people who are to blame for it are the ones who tell lesbian and gay people that they are sick, depraved and evil or psychotic. A lot of the comments here are doing the same thing, and those attitudes don't make it stop, they make it keep happening..
@@kingofcomments4832Denial can be an incredible thing. It is entirely possible they do not realize they are gay until they are already married with children, the house, the whole nine yards and then realize it. And at that point, what is the point in coming out? They don’t want to disrupt their children’s lives, they are told seeking a divorce would be selfish and so even if they realize it on some level, they go back to denying it. This can go on for many, many years. Even decades. Until one day their conscience forces them to face the truth. They realize they cannot live a lie any longer. It is very complicated. This is why we NEED pride. We need teenagers to figure out they are gay BEFORE they make life-long commitments to opposite sex partners. Gay marriage and gay rights help keep straight people from experiencing this pain.
@kingofcomments4832 some of it yes some of it No. Your not in their shoes, and u did not experience their Trauma. Depression and self esteem plays a huge role in beein found out your gay
I am living this situation right now. My husband doesn’t want to even talk about it after I caught his text sexual messages to his “friend”. Instead he is angry at me because I confronted him. We are separated. I feel like my whole marriage is fake nothing was real. I do believe he and his family knew since the beginning he was gay. They probably thought that I would cure him. I feel used, wronged, blindsided...I loved him...My soul aches for the loss of what I thought my husband was. For all the closeted married man out there please STOP LYING. BE HONEST and tell the truth to your spouse. It is so low when you use people so you can live a lie at their expense.
Solange, Yep, that is the word...blindsided.. Don't ever give this loser a chance to hurt you again..He will never change, and by being involved with him in any way will prevent you from eventually finding happiness with a decent man. I personally know the hurt.. The lie began when I met Michael, and was courting..I asked him if he drank.."Ocassionaly", he answered.In my mind, I'm thinkin weddings, at-the-lake picnics..Nah, it was binge drinkin. That was just his first lie...Then it was "I'd never cheat on you with a woman"..it was a man...men...God only knows.. He felt justified that he had kept true to his word...not be with a woman....It never entered his deviate mind that cheatin wasn't right. There were no indications that he had this homosexual thing...well now that I look back...he did primp a lot and held up his lil pinkie when he drank his beer. Haha! Wait for that man that God intens for you....
Hi, i know your post is 4 years ago,i’m going through with the same stuff like you now. I’m still with my husband cause i’m still love him so much. As a person who already go through all that things, can you give me some advises, please! How would we choose and how the thing gonna be? I appreciate it…..!!!😢😢
Some of us never get closure. So it becomes a bottomless pit of pain. After 25 years of marriage my ex continues to go after unsuspecting women.....hiding because of his family. Meanwhile im just in a constant state of shock.
My dad was gay. Married my mom to cover it up n do the "right thing" (get married, have babies). His family didn't like that as they were Chinese my dad married a Puerto Rican, Irish, Italian American girl and had these white looking babies. Fast forward my lil brother passed from SIDS and my dad's dad ended up shooting him in the chest when I was bout 2 years old. He was deported back to China. This was back in 89. Times have changed, but still. As a child of 1 of these type of marriages I can truly say I feel for the children. We have no choice but to live through our parents life choices.
There was once a man named Billie,he was married for over 50 years and when he died that was when the entire town found out he was a she. The partner knew she was a woman,but no one else did until the coroner (who knew Billie) was stunned to discover that Billie had no penis on the autopsy table. I mention this story because there are people who go to their graves with this kind of secret!
Its a demonic movement of destruction they force on people until people say no we won't normalise that crap. "If you tell your husband its okay to be homosexual" then don't be surprised when he goes down with the dogs and rises with the fleas. A person got married and it turned out the man drank himself till death. She got tested before getting into a new relationship and discovered she got AIDS from her EX Homosexual Husband. I guess he was comfy with no shame and got used to his destructive immoral habits in his swamp. She did not deserve that at all.
The World is running amuck in sexuality - lust for only lust,,,and IT is sad. But good people are out there, still believing in love between two adults who are willing to see one another, for Better or worse❤️😉❤️
I am gay. But I am a millennial, I’m 33 years old. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed but all these straight spouses are from mostly the same generation, an older generation. So the men and women they married were people who were gay and we’re trying to look normal because it wasn’t as excepted as it is now, felt pressured to get married perhaps, perhaps they were their parents only child. I remember for myself even as a child growing up in the 90s, I am the only child, and I felt guilty and I felt that I had to get married so that my parents wouldn’t feel like failures that their only child was gay. It’s a struggle for both people. It is easy to say just don’t get married, but even for me growing up as I said, look at how I felt. And I’m of a later generation. Also given that these gay spouses are from an older generation, they may even have been trying to change themselves by marrying someone, and also just overall viewing this is the only way to be seen as normal in the world. If you look at the street spouses in this video, they are all very gentle and kind hearted people who are not threatening. That is most likely why their gay spouse married them, because they felt that in order to marry someone of the opposite gender, they really needed to find someone who was cozy and safe to be with. So I don’t think that these gay spouses did not think this out beforehand.
"Cultivate compassion, it's not about you" WTF ???? IT IS ABOUT YOU IF YOU JUST WASTED SEVERAL YEARS OF YOUR LIFE ON SOMEONE CHOOSINGGGG TO REPRESS THEIR OWN DAMN SEXUALITY. so happy the gay community is much more widely accepted and that gay marriage is legal because this is a damn nightmare. You are NOT THE VICTIM if you're gay and in a straight marriage.
@ Hannah Oliver I'm so glad I'm not the only woman on here giving some thumps upside the head! I seen that Narcissist male Homosexual dish out ugly Memes to every Heterosexual on this thread and I RECOGNIZED HIS HATEFUL LITTLE SHITHEAD SELF!! saying I put you on mute TF!?? Like IDGAF anyway 😂 😂🙄 eeee 🤦
I actually say you got a good comment about legal gay marriage that way that there isn't any probs there. And I am serious. It has nothing to do with what I agree or not agree about on their choosing at least there is a way thru THIS 😁🤣
I wholly agree. Women and men who are homosexual have remained single their entire life and not ruined another's for centuries. The "things were different back then" excuse is horrible. Especially because this is still happening today. I couldn't imagine the betrayal felt to the spouse.
They don't repress their sexuality at all. They are fucking other males throughout their entire marriage. They are using the "wife" as a disguise. She is nothing more than a costume he puts on when he wants the approval of his family, his colleagues, and she incubates his babies so he doesn't have to pay a surrogate, and he'll have someone to take care of him in his old age. This is how narcissists think. They don't love or care for anyone. They just use people. Narcissistic Personality DIsorder should be taught in school. Men who are pathologically narcissistic are almost always bisexual. Every single gay male I've known over my lifetime has been a narcissist, and I've known, lived with and worked with HUNDRED. Every single one was a pathological narcissist, although I've casually met a few who seemed very co-dependent.
Nobody "chooses" to repress their sexuality. They might not be a victim in today's society, but back then... absolutely the gays and lesbians were victims. We can't judge marriages from 20-30 years ago based on what we know today.
I hope people who believe being gay is a choice, understand that no one in their right minds would choose to be a homosexual, considering the enormous prejudice and hatred we, the so called normal people, put them through.
Then you meet those rare people who like my ex wife and I come along where she openly knew and didn’t care she was marrying a gay man because of family reasons.
That's I never married. I'm never attracted to women, and I don't want to entrap someone in a marriage based on lies. I live a celibate life, fully aware that while my I am attracted to men, I shouldn't act on my unnatural desires. This is the least I could do for God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.
@@uthmanhanif6321 I'm a Christian and there's a verse in the Bible that says "Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord." It means small sacrifices such as foregoing my fleshly desire to engage in sinful acts is nothing compared to the depth of living and knowing Jesus Christ. Why? Because He loved me so much that He died for me and forgave my sins. If living for Him means not having sex with another man for the next 50 years, so be it. What's important is that I live my life to please Him and bring glory to His Name. I pray that you would find it in your heart to get to know Him. God bless you, my friend.
In the video I noticed that most of the people seem to be in their 50s or maybe older. When they got married back people were expected to be straight and many hid in the closet. It is 2019 and it's a new generation and people rarely live in the closet anymore.I dont think being gay has been accepted more .I just feel people have become more free and decided to be who they are and have stepped out of the dark ages.
Literally back then being single was fine. It was okay. Everyone likes to act like the 60's-70's was a time of repression when literally everyone was fucking each other and no one was devoted.
The couple who divorced and she married his friend from work - wow! That lady is so fortunate now to have 2 deep and secure relationships with men. I know it was painful for them but now it seems amazing.
All I can say is that the single dad, journalist is so handsome. If he is not on a relationship, I would like to meet him. Good luck to all of you and God bless
I came out when I was 14 and I'm glad I did. Lots of people my age married women and it was a fraud from day one. Some women are forgiving, but I can't imagine doing that to someone.
When I went to Straight Spouse Meetings which had many attendees, not one said their gay spouse helped them move on, as that lucky couple towards the end of this show. The usual tale at the meetings was that the gay spouse already had their new happy life lined up and moved on without a care about the devastation left behind.
I don’t care how cruel society is toward you and your sexuality: work it out so that you don’t ruin someone else’s life too! How dare you seek sympathy from ANYONE when you have NONE for the person you DECEIVED. Society stinks sometimes, but you don’t have to as well.
We can fix this problem by shouting down any religious person that says that homosexuality is a choice, a sin, or a so called " lifestyle". You should shout down anybody that tries to use the Bible to say that it's a choice to be gay or that try to force their children into so called "conversion therapy". Religion is the root cause of this problem.
I’m a gay man And I remember back then when I was 12 when I had discovered the truth about my sexuality and the uncomfortable feeling that I felt was indescribable I thought marrying a gorgeous woman would fix my “problem” I wouldn’t say that I was a fool I was just afraid of being discriminated against And now I’m very glad that I’ve understood myself and I’ll never make a descent woman suffer with me just because of my fear of coming out And thank you for spreading awareness ❤
I believe this happened to me. Married 20 years, 3 children now adults. Dad never came out. I thought all those years something was seriously wrong with me. I drank a lot, cried a lot, had 5 psychiatrists, 6 psychologists and dozens of different medical doctors and counted my self help books one day. I had 80. After We split he moved the children from me and my daughter blamed me and alienated me for 7 years. I almost died. It's so very wrong.
@@PHlophe Exactly. She doesn't even know for sure, she only "believes" this happened to her and yet has no evidence for it, even after 5 psychiatrists and 6 psychologists. It's rare for the children to go with the father after a divorce, so that right there says something else was amiss.
I married a very closeted gay. He preys on straight guys. It's not gay if you're both straight and wasted. When I knew for sure he beat me. That was just the beginning.
My older sister married a man she didn't know was gay. He came out to her a few years later and they divorced. Everyone has a right to live life as their true selves. It was a shame gay/lesbian people had to "hide", if they were always able to be "out" and date or marry a person of their own sex, so much heartbreak could be avoided by them and their "straight" partner.
Asking the question, 'Are you gay'? as early as possible would possibly allow for dialogue, letting go and any loving friendship to remain. I wish I had been that brave, and kept the friendship of a very interesting man, who would not longer have had to lie to me. Instead, he went on to marry again, and continued living on the down low.
Wow, it would have been good of you to send her a note if you knew who she was before she married him... Tell her now. I do understand not wanting to rock your own world tho.....
Whoever you are a gay or lesbian if your getting married u r cheating someone who really care 4 u .you r Not only breaking somebody's heart. U r just killing them pls don't do this
Nearly married a gay guy, he turned out to be a very bad person after I found out..thank God I found out before it when forward, now I'm happily married to a wonderful guy 🙌🏼
I was a straight spouse. It all blew up when my husband passed away suddenly and things were found that I was unaware of. Hindsight is 20/20 and all I can say is, you don't go looking for clues when you don't think there's a problem.
Mrs Chester That was your biggest problem. It’s OK to be suspicious of a person’s actions. I think there should be a mutual agreement that a spouse can access one another phone, computer, bank records. You never know when an individual might be a pedophile, secretly gay, or cheater.
This happened to me. My husband was a marine we had three sons and married 25 years until my middle son and i caught him with a 16 year old boy that was in the same class as our youngest. This has been 5 years ago and im still angry but have moved on. I will never ever be friends with him. He is a horrible person.
Falcon, I don't think Billy B. was askin a question....I believe he was makin a statement, especially knowlegeable, as he is a gay man.....who would be more qualified, as he is in that community.
Please pray for me and my relationship… I’ve had a rising suspicion that my boyfriend might be gay. I feel insane and don’t know what’s real anymore.:.. I hope I’m wrong.
Living a life of cruel deception and selfish behavior to the core . . . it’s all about ME, ME, ME and damn whatever. Just like a self-indulgent child acting out.
Luke Mason Like many folk I’m not a therapist ... maybe you are. I will disagree and agree about behavior with my point of view. You, me, them and whoever can ‘change society’ and the fake relationships whenever that’s possible ...
That describes the G Agenda in a nutshell . Immorality normalised amunct others pushing and demanding for others to consider this the norm is disgusting by way of damaging health of mind, body and soul of the victims = unhealthy lifestyle
At 13:00 minutes in, exactly. When the other person lies consistently to you but you know something is wrong, you blame yourself and after many years, the damage from this is enormous and possibly permanent.
Same thing happened to me. I surmised my husband was gay. As one friend stated, I can compete with a women but I can’t compete with a man! My marriage ended in divorce. I could not any longer let my husband touch me, he grossed me out.
![NLE Choppa - Or What ft. 41 (Orchestra Mix) [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/biOFASEgSOM/mqdefault.jpg)
This happened to me. I can’t begin to tell people how betrayed I felt. I have been divorced for nineteen years and it still hurts. If you are gay, don’t try and fix yourself by marrying someone who is straight. It’s selfish.
It seems that the men who do this are very sociopathic narcissists, think about it, they are dishonest to the last atom in their cells.
That happened to my friend. Within a year of marriage, she was pregnant but lost the child. Had given up her job. Lost her home. He was last seen running down a London street in his stilettoes. Her M in L blamed her. She got a poorly paid receptionist job. Went back to school. Became a nurse... then head of ICU, taught trainee nurses, became a tutor at a university. Bought a house. Then, Head of a uni department. Then, she traveled the world teaching medical and religious ethics to government health departments. Awesome life. She ain't nowhere without him. She never remarried. Only regret...no children. Recovered from the betrayal. All the best to you, Rachel.
manic hairdo Thank you!
Happened to me too, spent 10 years of my life. Very selfish I agree
Wow this comment thread just made me realize how common this is. I am sorry for all the women who have suffered from this... you deserve better
I think being gay and getting married pretending to be straight is so cruel ruining the other person life , it is so selfish just thinking about themselves.
Debbie Cicalese As a Christian, gay man myself I agree. These men are usually taught by their churches to hate themselves so much though that they either A) go into complete denial of their sexuality or B) Marry a woman, thinking it will “fix” them. Thankfully while I did struggle with my parents for years I never struggled with my faith. The only women I lack sympathy for are the ones who knowingly marry gay men. Also I think this is happening less & less as our society progresses & many churches become more accepting. I never so much as dated a girl, my parents came around & at age 32 I’ve been happily with my now husband for 13 years. 🙂
@Belltown Daisy well an angel was looking out for you. You had a lucky escape ,nice move outing him here 😁 maybe some of the other women that know men like that should do it to ,it could let others know who these men are and at least help you feel better good luck from London 🙂
@@matthewscott1091you were honest that's all you can do , good luck from London.
Debbie Cicalese the gay person isn't ruining the other person's life, the gay person is ruining their own life.
J 2004 so why do they do it.
Instead of burying that wedding ring she should've pawned it and spent the money to buy herself something nice.
I can understand why she had to go through the process of burying her ring. It's a furnial of the marriage . I had to pawn my ring because I needed the money to live on. This is a well made video.
Well.. Wedding rings also dont cost anywhere near as much as engagement rings do. And they lose value too so.. May not even have been worth that much
@Lilac - what a lovely choice of words, shame on you!!
I married a man that ended up cheating on me with multiple men. When I finally divorced him, I wanted nothing to do with him. So I didn’t even got the ring sold or pawned, I just got rid of it. I didn’t want anything to do with him.
Sara Kate yeah mine was only worth a few hundred. But I was happy to get that because I got nothing from the divorce or marriage
I married a gay man too. I’m grateful that he only kept up the charade for 3 years instead of 30.
awww!! god bless you!
...had it worked out everything would have been FABUULOUS!
Are you from a group of support for poor straight women who think they are victims too?
Mine kept it up for 7 years. He never ever touched me sexually. It destroyed my self esteem. I finally found a box in the trunk of the car with make up, glitter, condoms etc.. I felt so betrayed, but all the secrecy finally made sense.
Lily Green Nope. I have no idea of any such group. My experience was many years ago and I remain close friends with my ex to this day.
Cheating is never right regardless. You end one relationship before starting another.
..so simply said, so impossible to do.
cledwyn stafford no it’s not. It truly isn’t. Go to a psychiatrist and a therapist and explain what’s going on. They’d be able to help you explain to your family. You don’t need to cheat, EVER. If you’ve got sexual tension, and you’ve got hands, there’s negative excuses.
I'm a gay man I find this heartbreaking. I can't imagine the pain of my spouse hiding a huge part of themselves, lying to me, and have the nerve to cheat. The "gay agenda" is trying to de-stigmatize the shame of being gay so this type of thing doesn't happen. No one should be used as a pawn.
But most religious community force gay man to marry and match gay man with woman. So ut is not only gay man's fault here...
Alik Matus it’s society’s fault. Gay men are expected to straighten up. This means that gay men are somehow supposed to force themselves marry the opposite sex.
Thank you for helping others, it had to be so hard in the recent past for the g/l people w all the prejudiced minds, I'm straight and had hell mom always complain about not being married, I'm sure the peer pressure pushed that. Hopefully the future will help
read your bible and talk to God for he can change you
Religious can ruin people im okay with people’s beliefs in godbut when you start forcing someone to be unhappy you draw the line
christ....stay single or get married to the same sex. DON'T do this to unsuspecting innocent people. it angers and irritates me. NO ONE wants to be duped and cheated. they don't deserve it.
It's because of religion, you get it in your head that who you are is wrong so you try to hide it, change it, be 'normal', you don't go into it intending to hurt anyone.
@Barbara Chipman - amen, sister. Preach! 👊🏽
Barbara Chipman well said. My ex was a serial cheater and master chameleon able to hide for thirty years
FeelTheLack - agree, but cheating is a sin and lying is also a sin
@@FeelTheLack He made me feel inadequate. as a young and attractive women it was depressing. he even said asked how i could enjoy life when there was so much pain in the world. I was nineteen. Now decades later i have to wonder why i would even tolerate being around someone so freaking negative.
He didn't only cheat on her he cheated his kids from having a father around.
That's ridiculous. The kids wouldn't even be here today if he hadn't fathered them. Would they have preferred a different father? Sorry, that means they would not even have been born; someone else would have been born instead. Their father is gay, but it was still his sperm that impregnated their mother's egg.
There's no question that they didn't have a sperm dad to create them, what im referring to is that the idea of these fathers being deceitful throughout the relationship about their sexual orientation had jeopardized the security of these children. Whether or not the father is around or not around is questionable, but most of the time they run off after a divorce, and are not around like living at home, where they should be. We're not talking about whether the father is who he says he is.
@@belinalug6928 How does the fact of him being gay jeopardize their security? Do you think children don't eventually grow up and become adults, able to make their own decisions and judgments? Children are often a lot wiser about these things than their parents are.
@@briannabrittany3127 Im not talking about when they grow up.
belin lug can u please elaborate on ur comment? I honestly don't understand what u mean? I'm not being hateful I'm genuinely confused? How did the guy,p having a gay affair cheat the kids from having a father? Would it be the same if he had an affair with a woman? I am confused by ur comment?
If you marry a gay person you just can't compete, the only option is to leave that person and start all over again.
AS a Gay man I have troubles with my sexsuality. But marrying a straight person, would just be wrong. So many Women fell for me, because I was so relatable. But to marry to hide or escape my homosexuality, would hurt so many people.
Exactly and as a Gay Teenager myself I always try my best so steer clear of girls for my own good and theirs
..well done, love yourself being gay, find a gorgeous man and settle down. xx
That’s exactly what I’ve been doing for my entire life
No matter what the cost is I’m not gonna make a descent woman and lovely children live miserably just because of my fear of coming out
You are a nice person I hope you have found happiness
@@mz6367words of wisdom I wish I had the courage to have done that. Instead I married had children and messed up everyone in my life.
I worked with a lady whose husband said after 30 years of marriage, "I'm gay and want a divorce." They had 5 children whose lives were also shattered in the process. It nearly destroyed the wife. I have never felt sorrier for anyone in my life than I felt for the wife. She is still single even 10 years later
It's a timing thing. After a thirty year marriage, gay men can find new partners. For most women in those relationships,, their options are limited if they have any options at all. It's sad that these men took the best years of these women's lives. IMO, I believe this is fraud and should be treated as such.
Sumarluco I a agree. If one of the wife's would have been infected by a sexually transmitted diseases like AIDS. Wouldn't that be considered attempted murder?
Sung, that is still narcissistic. They are putting their desires over the needs of their spouse, causing great pain to others to fulfill their want to be viewed a certain way by society. Single men have entered suffered greatly enough to justify causing such pain to another.
Should read: "single men have never suffered greatly enough..."
Not sure where autocorrect got "entered"
I can't agree more!
"For most women in those relationships,, their options are limited"....because that's what they have been doing all their life...LIMITING THEMSELVES
This happened to my aunt. It was so awful. She was a stay at home mom who never had a career. Lost her home in the divorce. She's married to a very nice wealthy guy now, which she totally deserves after the garbage she went through.
Allison C I’ve got something to look forward to, then!...🤓
Patricia Hinton 🤣🤣 Truth!
the new wealthy guy is also secretly gay
I read all the comments talking about the gay person wasting the straight persons life. That’s not the worst part of this, putting your spouses’s life at risk is. I have zero compassion for the gay people who do this
Facts
This stereotype is repeated so many times that it should be dead and laying in the grave by now. There are a LOT of heterosexuals who carry these std's and doing devil's tango without protection. Most of the time you won't even know if you have std until you have a test.
(I am guessing you are a straight female) I feel sorry for both, imagine you live in a world were people expect you to marry a woman and you get authorised for not doing so, then imagine you marry a girl, you and most other people would probably cheat.
Mrs. Enys there’s unfaithfulness in both straight and gay relationships and both sides have risk. Don’t start pointing fingers when you need to get the facts right. It’s not entirely gay peoples fault. It’s society’s fault in part. Because gay men are expected to “straighten up” I say this a lot. Being gay is hard as it is and there’s no acceptance but only hate and disgust to gay men. If gay men marry straight women it is not to cheat on them but because society expects them to. Their families friends and religious people. I’m sure many gay men married women hoping it would change them. So are you expecting them to be perfect and never make mistakes? Also many straight relationships end pretty bad and probably the worse. You have two people who are really compatible and one decides to cheat and there are many who also get diseases. I once met a guy who was straight and confessed to me he had stds and gonorhea but he talked about all the girls he’s been with. Next thing I know, he was already talking to another girl he met and was trying to get with her for the night. The point is, don’t point fingers and generalize.
so you have compassion for STRAIGHT people that do this shit every day?
This happened to my mom, I’m almost completely sure that my father had me and my sister out of “social obligation” and the “image” of our family. His dad was really homophobic, and I’m guessing my father suppressed the urges to come out because he was also a narcissist.
Seriously, if you’re gay, don’t try to change yourself. Be who you are, and do not deceive the people you love.
I think my ex stepfather is bisexual he's definitely a pedophile
That happened to me too
It broke my heart and my mom’s too but the worst part is that my dad still doesn’t want to admit it !
@@mz6367people will never admit when there wrong or have made a mistake just accept the fact that you did your part
Poor ladies all these years wasted just like that
Sindy Mbau blame culture and church for hating gays. Many gays are SO terrified they HOPE can be straight and marry a woman. So sad for all.
@@allanhunt685 Omg get real! How can we blame society and the church in this day in age? Now days people pretty much walk on eggshells around the LGBTQ people !!
@@carlamartinez3631 I don't think these stories are from "this day and age" Obviously these people are older and even the documentary is from 2008. I would say all of this happened may in the early 90's or 80's, maybe even 70's.
@@lorielhassani Yes I know this but Allan Hunt said "many gays are so terrified" not "were terrified " . That's why I word it the way I did
@@UmilianiI swear people now days get offended over everything ! What did I say that was offensive or inappropriate?
I had two children with my husband before I learned the truth. I felt totally betrayed. Not cause of his sexuality but because of his dishonesty.
Welcome to being gay before the 2010’s! Where you had to be dishonest if you didn’t want to be shunned by society!
Not dishonest when you're discovering yourself ❤ you shouldn't even feel bad about that
Touché
@@Saf_Ibn_Sayyad_Baconhe had "discovered" himself with his major life love in high school, a widened his scope for many years afterwards with many others including dragging a guy he and his two female roommates (one of whom he played hetero house with for years) then performing all kinds of sex acts on this unsuspecting male as he slept and so he could watch his 2 GFs ride these cowboys who never learned what had been done to him nor by whom. I was well aware of his bisexuality long before meeting me and my daughter or our having two children together.
My husband was a serial cheater. He lived a double life. I finally divorced him after 38 years. Didn't know why he never hugged me at all. I was always worried. I don't hate him and he had cancer and died in 02. I went and helped him till the end. Everyone thought he was very wonderful. He never supported me emotionally or physically. He made a good living and seemed to love our three kids. I can't hate. Hate is so bad to live with.
You seem to view your husband like a utility.
Bless you
I am single and proud.
Minute of pleasure versus a lifetime of regret.
Verity Anderson @ stay single ur life is better..thrust me
Mee too
The women in this documentary are very kind and seem well balanced. I know it took awhile for them but I appreciate hearing their stories.
The women could have eliminated their gay husbands in a better way. A more permanent way. :)
What? The 1st woman is a loaded drug addict who keeps gurning in the interview
..the women in these stories, were as much into the lie as the men were.
I married a very handsome guy, some people warned me about him, but I just didn´t see it, then once in the house, I noticed some men coming to see him, they did not come inside the house, but he would run outside shirtless to greet them, I thought that was weird, then so many other issues happened, finally we separated and he asked me to please come back to him, he said he was going to seek help, I didn´t.
You did the right thing. It sounds like he wanted you to be there to take care of him, house and home while he went off to play and have fun on his own terms. Very selfish people out there, not just gay people. Straight cheaters do it all the time. They want to mess around while they always beg for their wives to take them back.
Glad you got rid of that ugly thing
Aaand another victim, how many times have you been discriminated for being straight? Oh 0 you say? Thats right.
There is no help for being gay. Just try to be happy and live life for yourself. I know from experience.
@@lilygreen221 the guy knew he was gay but wanted her to take him back. Why ? To have a cover ? That seems fair to you ?
It's awful to find out your partner is gay because it means they never loved you. Not the way you assumed. It's humiliating and hurtful. They must think you are stupid or at least not have respect for you. All the memories are tainted by the knowledge that they had this secret and you feel so foolish. It should be illegal.
I don’t know about being illegal, but it’s a terrible thing to do to someone. I think if we are a more accepting society then people can live in it without secrets.
@@K209-w4w I think if you trick a woman into supporting you and having your children and throwing away any chance she had at her own life, the way she wants her life to be, that is fraud. I hope these people get a HUGE settlement in the divorce. It's one thing to pretend to be straight. It's another to hijack someones life and womb. I live on the West Coast of Canada, where the crosswalks are rainbows and gay people are everywhere yet I still got played by a gay man with an image to tend to. I'm furious.
Narcissists are incapable of love. They're wildly self-absorbed, but they can't truly even love themselves.
...and they have almost no conscience...which is why they can live that double life and still sleep like a baby right next to you. They are entirely devoid of empathy for others, even their own children.
..we did love you , we were just not sexually stimulated by you. Sorry my love, you were the wrong sex.
Actually, that is a good idea, you should be able to prosecute.
Married 20 yrs to a gay man, and no he wasn't confused. He had been sleeping boys/men at the age of 16.. I was only 19 when he married and gay wasn't out of the closet in 1980... lies upon lies. He stole my youth all while he was very happy. After 20 yrs. And the Lord open my eyes to every man he slept with. He then wouldn't let me go, two amazing boys I decided not to say why I was divorcing for them. He stole my kids. Homes, business, family, friends and even my church. "The great deceiver" God is good, healing takes time. But don't shed another tear because they are not. Take back your dignity, forgive and run as fast you can.. prayers
My first boyfriend was gay. His dad was a homophobic cop, so my boyfriend was in denial into his late 20’s. Everyone knew, but he couldn’t accept himself.
My first husband was also a hidden bisexual. When I confronted him about his search history, after 13 years of abuse from him, he had a psychotic break and tried to kill me. I finally escaped while he was locked up.
He went to “Gay Conversion” and got “religion” and went on to marry another girl and have two kids with her.
She disappeared off of social media, and he’s back in my town alone. I hope he didn’t kill them. 🙁
I want to thank the person who posted this. Thank you. It helps out a lot of youngsters that have gut feelings of their partner living a double life and thus can understand what kind of a relationship they are in. It helped me to understand what I'm feeling as it resonates. I can't stop reading the comment section as it is hard in real life to find people who understand what you're going through. Thank you for posting.
I had the opposite experience: my "lesbian" partner left me after 14 years for a man with 2 kids. They married after less than a year, took my beloved cat to the shelter that she *swore* to care for after kicking me out (I had to move across the country abruptly w/ nowhere to take him) ...almost killed me. She'd not only sworn she was lesbian but said she was happy with a childfree life, called the cat our "baby," etc. All lies. Betrayal hurts. Finding out someone you trusted so deeply is an entirely different person hurts in a specially awful way. Fucks with your ability to trust at all. Be honest or stay single.
She sounds like she was very confused. She was probably molested when she was younger and didn't feel safe around men.. until she met one that she COULD and DID trust and feel safe with and then her TRUE nature was able to blossom and be allowed to be.
The travelling dad with two kids is one hell of a hottie!
I know,,,, he's gorgeous.
Absolutely
Yes he is. ♡♡
He’s so handsome!
Those eyes...a very handsome Man
It is the worst betrayal to feel unwanted and unloved, because your spouse is lying to you about his sexuality.
Jeanie Neville Can I be a friend of you via WhatsApp?
My moms first husband was gay and she walked in on him with his lover, it nearly killed her, and while she later met and married my Dad, i do not think she ever got over it
Homosexual people who got married to the opposite sex should be accused of Fraud.
👍👏👍
It must feel terrible to wake up one day and find out the person you are married to is not who you thought they were. That the relationship was all a lie. And then to look back and see that everything now makes perfect sense. The sense of betrayal must be off the charts.
It is so painful…so painful
@@TheCierra1020yup
I'm lesbian myself, and been determined not to live a lying life. because I had witnessed my dad infidelity and know how its hurt. it's been painful, for families, but I was determined not to be false with myself and please others. Thanks for sharing!!
As long as society discriminates and crushes people for being gay, this will continue to happen and it’s a heartbreak for everyone concerned. Ive seen whole families turn on someone who came out and disown them. No wonder they are afraid to tell the truth.
That’s a bullshit excuse for narcissism and sociopathic behavior by these liars. Our society does not discriminate against gays, if anything more so than ever , gays are celebrated and glorified in our society.
This is about men who enjoy the conning and secrecy , this is about narcissitic abuse and living with a psychopath. When you marry a woman and have kids with her , you e taken it to a whole new level. This isn’t about society shaming you anymore . This is playing a very dangerous and fake game with someone else’s life , body and soul. We need to stop making excuses for narcs
This if not a subject anymore for a long long time. Society has accepted it and even promotes it.
@@heidjemeidje7189 dont forget homosexuality is still not accepted everywhere. Just because its better in West doesn't mean its better everywhere
Absolutely
This is why conversion therapy is so dangerous. Not only is it harmful to the person experiencing it, but pushing them towards pursuing a straight relationship is unfair to both parties
Lindsay Brewer
Except for those who succeed! This video is about those who LIED and FAILED to change; the video about those who told the TRUTH and SUCCEEDED at converting is a different one.
@@debras3806 there's no way to succeed and convert, all of the conversion therapies have never been proven to work, and some of the biggest ones have closed down. 1 of the leaders of a conversion therapy company came out as gay.
Thank you for saying this. I don't think a lot of people in the comments understand how common so called " conversion therapy" is and how it damages gay men mentally . These so called " conversion therapy counselors" often pressure men who are gay to date and marry women. Their families and churches usually do the same. The solution to this problem is to 1. Ban ALL conversion therapy, and have long prison sentences for those caught practicing it, and 2. Shout down and mock any religious people that support that nonsense and who believe that homosexuality is a choice or a sin.
@@mister0sir Google Rosaria Butterfield
I’m an advocate for the gay community and I really do get the reasons gay people choose to live a lie. But it’s still totally crappy. You don’t do this to another person. You don’t cause them this kind of pain.
Gay is not gay.
Gay is all that is not gay.
@@ascent8487 , Not much for you and your friends being normal heterosexuals, huh. No, instead you're all sex perverts of the worst kind, homosexuals.
Lilac and u mention god! U must be a good Christian, I think not
Lilac shame on u
I was with a gay man, had 3 kids, I was never sexually fulfilled.
Ladies, if you're not fulfilled, walk away!
Tzara hi when you say not sexually fulfilled what do u mean I think I maybe with one he won’t be intimate kids or hug very rarely
They don't like intimacy (closeness) and being romantic..
Red light equals no sexual drive
..yes, he was never fulfilled by you.
A lack of chemistry in the middle of a long term relationship is a warning sign that two people aren't meant to be together.
Unconditional LOVE until someone contracts Aids.
How low our self-esteem has become when we allow ourselves to be USED by a liar with our permission. I have NEVER recovered BUT he did. IT'S NOT OKAY TO DESTROY ANOTHER PERSON'S LIFE TO PROTECT YOUR SELFISH OWN.
Too bad they have a cure for that, and not a cure for cancer to help the good people
@@lilmule9576 I don't understand, cure for what?
@@lilmule9576
So you're implying that anyone who contracted HIV/aids is a "bad" person? Very narrow minded opinion to have, absolutely ANYONE can get HIV, it's not just in the gay population, in fact the group that's most at risk now for infection are seniors, straight or gay doesn't matter, everyone is at risk if safe sex isn't practiced, including you.
Lil Mule by inference gay people are bad? That is a very narrow view.
hattie nuff he never said anything of that. He said being unfaithful can have bad consequences like AIDS, whether straight or gay. So if you dont love your partner, you shouldnt marry.
A lot of these comments are from scorned women (and men). This is so heartbreaking to me. Here’s a comment from a child of this kind of situation:
I lived what I thought was a typical childhood. But my mom always had simmering anger towards my father that we could not understand as children. We had absolutely NO idea what was really happening, but knew that they would be better off divorced. After 25 years marriage they finally did. And we all found out about my dad’s years of constant cheating on my mom. I felt so guilty for blaming her for her anger, that was obviously justified, but also angry at both of them for maintaining such a carefully cultivated lie. My dad stole YEARS of my mom’s life and happiness. He betrayed her and our trust as his children. They both said they wanted to stay together for the children, but that’s ridiculous. Don’t put your bad decision making on us. Kids would much rather have split happy parents than together miserable ones.
Now my mom has a hard time finding a new partner. She is lonely and reckless in searching for a new one, but people can be cruel and crazy, and of course my mom has major trust issues.
My dad never apologized wholeheartedly for his actions, contracted HIV (thankfully my mom didn’t contract it), but still ignores his role in pulling apart our family. He speaks ill of my mother and blames her for abandoning him. He feels cheated out of “his” money when they split their property 50/50 in the settlement, and he still owes my mom about 5 grand for child support of my younger sister who was in high school at that time. His personality when I was a child seems a complete fabrication, and this is the most difficult to deal with.
Men who were gay, but felt it was unsafe to come out, I have immense sympathy for. I don’t think being gay is wrong or sinful. But gay people who married straight partners had a choice. They could have just stayed single. Is it a nice choice to have to make? No. But one should never burden another, whom they say they love, with something so very deceptive. It is damaging for everyone involved.
If your Dad had stayed single, you wouldn't be here today.
Byron McCready, Then they would never have had to experience the heartache they did..and apparently still do....the hurt is there in their words..
Oh dear
I found my self reading the story of my life
The same exact thing happened to me
My mom felt betrayed and there was a chance of her getting HIV through him but luckily she didn’t
And the worst part is he hasn’t come to terms with and never said sorry to my mom or to me
We suffered a lot in the last few years
That’s why I’ll never forgive him
And I can’t express my deep sorries for what happened to you
We both deserve happiness ❤
@M Z Thank you, and same to you. I've very much been able to move past the hurt and now, unfortunately, just have a superficial relationship with my father. Thus is life.
I'm sorry for your pain, and I think you hit the nail on the head. He'll never apologize or take responsibility for the damage. That's probably the most painful part. The hypocrisy of it still shocks me sometimes, but I'm in a much happier place. I hope you're able to move on and work on your chosen family. Sending virtual hugs ❤️.
I'm a gay man and growing up the pressure from family members and relatives to get married was so great, that's difficult to escape. During my adolescent years and young adulthood, every time my parents took me to visit with grandparents, they would always asked me if I have a girlfriend and when am I going to get married. They asked me this question every single time I visited them, over and over again for many years. The same thing with my aunts and uncles. It seemed like that is all they care about. Every time there is a family gathering, everyone want to know when I'm going to get married. The pressure is constant and relentless to the point where I thought about getting married just to shut everyone up. If you are questioning your sexuality and your family and friends put a lot of pressure on you to get married, you will start doubting yourself and think maybe they are right. Although my grandparents have passes away, I can still hear their nagging voice in my head asking me "When are you going to get married?"
I have been watching this documentary over and over again , I'm a gay guy , I too wanted to marry a woman and just take that marriage as far as possible. But I have realised that it does tremendous damage to women's mental health and her self esteem.
Ok but what if you told her and stayed honest to her? Maybe you could experience you love her on many ways that would make a marriage work, not everything is about sex only. Would it be hard? Yes for sure, wouldn't it be worth? Well that depends on if there is enough to be attracted to in your partner. What I hate the most about sexual orientation is, how much influence it has on our decision how we live our lifes and whom we want to be together with. I myself experience being in rather a similar situation. How great would it be being able to fall in love with the person rather the gender? Research should reallay start to be undertaken for this matter.
I’m a gay man and I remember back when I had found out about my sexuality I thought marrying a gorgeous woman would solve my “problem”
And I’m glad that I understood myself and educated myself and now i know for sure that I’m better off single than being in a miserable marriage
@@originalThePlague you assume a lot. After deciding not to marry a woman I also decided to be virgin for the rest of my life (now you may calm down). I did gay conversion therapy for 11 years (from 2008 to 2019) , nothing changed except me becoming suicidal. Exodus international , journey into manhood , love in action , NAARTH , fathers for life and many more. I'm born again devoted Protestant Methodist Christian born and brought up in traditional Methodist Christian home and environment.
@@originalThePlagueJust no. It’s the one thing you agree not to do with anyone else. Find a woman you can be a good friend with if you want that type of woman to man relationship.
No it doesn't do her any harm
After being with my husband 7 years,he finally tells me he wants to be with men.I was shocked ,hurt,stunned and felt abandoned.I was not good enough ,conned by a stranger I thought I knew all these years.I knew he was up to something,middle night on the computer ,he was distant. I blamed myself for years.my oldest said I should have stayed and worked harder.I still struggle with this.
Im so sorry for your situation...just know that it is not your fault,you cant do more no matter what,its your husband. Cherish your life while you still can. Find your happiness. You can🙏
Don't ruin the rest of your life for a loser! Get over it and move on because it's *not* your fault. You've lost enough already, he's not worth any more!
You did the right thing by leaving God will give the strength and courage you need daily to go through staying put you at risk for contracting HIV am proud of you
Your oldest child, in time, will realize that you couldn’t try harder. You can’t change something like that.
I’m sorry you went thru this. My heart goes out to you. Hugs. You will find a REAL man🔥
This happened to me in my twenties. I hope he found his man and left his crazy hyper religious family. I was lucky in that it was only one year and I was in denial for half that so basically the dating years of four years wasted. How can people hide this for decades?.? Wow
That they can do it for decades shows just how deep that fear of being exposed can go. I'd bet most of the people in this video were raised by very religious families. 'Hyper-religious' as you called it.
Religion. U got it one! A mixture of religious families and heteronormative society telling men that the only way to be resected is too meet a girl, settle down, marry, have children. Until society stops homophobia gays will continue to marry staights. It's a sad vicious circle
Alex Carlson What homophobia? Its legal for 2 men to marry so go marry another guy and leave women alone u AlDS infested selfish freaks
My ex now did this for 6 years. He played straight pretty well...it’s just sad
@@briannabrittany3127 Yep. Religion is the cause of all these lies that many gay men tell. It's time to shout down the religious people that say homosexuality is a choice or a sin. It's not and it can't be changed through prayer or therapy.
My ex ex boyfriend recently got married, and his new wife has no idea what she’s let herself in for. The man told me he wasn’t fully straight, used to look at men on the tube and use to say some very strange things. He said he wouldn’t rule out a relationship with a man in the future. It’s only a matter of time until he fully comes out. He’s closeted and desperately wants to be seen to “have it all” the wife, the house, the babies. I refused to play along and he knew I was going to fully find out. Leaving him was the best decision I ever made.
The biggest problem is having kids for gay male
My mother had a childhood friend who married a gay man knowing he was gay. He had an affair during their marriage but came back to his wife because he didn’t want to lose his children. They are old and still together.
I was married 21 years before I found out my husband was gay. Yes gay, we hardly ever if at all had sexual relations because he said he was raped as a child and I believed him. I had two beautiful boys that are successful and they in time have hated their father. I remarried and found the right person for me. Sometimes women can be so blind sighted by men.
Sandy Coble your boys are not successful if they have been taught to hate their father.
Why hate him? For being gay? For divorce?
He didn't abuse you, right? Nor his children?
'Hate' sounds bit strong!! Sounds like you 'hate' him, though!
Emotions like disappointment, anger, feeling betrayed, etc are normal in this situation! Hate, nope!
@@johnoakes4143 maybe the kids hate him for lying and hiding. Imagine living and growing up thinking something is wonderful and happy then someone ruins everything. All the memories of their dad being loving to their mom is lies, happy family moments are lies, etc etc. THAT would be a huge reason to hate their father, not because he is gay but what he was doing and that he was lying to everyone especially his children.
@@CatMom5050 Imagine growing up thinking your sexuality is disgusting and despicable.
sided
Depression, Grief, and Loss of Self Esteem is true when your heart gets broken by a Person You Love.
Jennifer Lorence absolutely
My husband cheated on me with his male friend. One day I asked my husband how could you both do this to me? This person is a snake i been cooking for him when he comes to the house he drinks our soda and beers yet not satisfied he stole my husband from me and created so much trouble in my life. I really felt betrayed 💔 My husband blamed me for me being such a good wife, it really hurt me so much 💔
I found out my bf was Gay or Bi . I am glad I found out when we bought our engagement rings
That’s great I’m happy for you that you found out though
How did you find out?
My husband was gay. He tried to tell me that I was out of my mind and unbalanced. It took the other man's boyfriend to bring it to my attention. He wanted a wife and the family but to live the gay lifestyle. I hope he gets every disease imaginable. I hope everything that is bad that can happen would happen to him
My husband tried to make me think that I was going crazy and making up this in my mind too. Bastard, I hope he burns.
Loretta Collins, I too, experienced this charade...gave my heart to the man (?) I was going to spend the rest of my life with. If you don't put this behind you and "kick rocks" the stress will cause all sorts of medical issues...it has to do with the auto-immune system. You are a lovely young lady with a future ahead of you..don't let this deviate get you down!
"He made it out of this and has a really nice life." That's how it is for men in divorce, gay or not.
the perks of permanent singledom
I know right
strong hands and biceps, I know it I do.
Perks of being asexual.
If it was incredibly painful, scarring and extremely confusing and disheartening to find out my on and off boyfriend of 3 years was gay (and I was about 20 back then), I cant even imagine what it feels like when you've married that person, have kids and have made a life with them. Dang that must be hard!!!
I married at 23 in1983 to a man who was 33. He wanted a family and we had a daughter 18 months later. I was so lonely with him in every way. I left him 3 years later. I told him 'I think you are gay' he neither agreed or denied it. My daughter came home from a weekend visit with him saying ' dad was in bed with uncle Ken'...so I had guessed right. The thing was I was physically very attractive. The comment in this video from the gay man who said 'I had everything - a beautiful wife a child...' really made sense to me. But you soon loose your sense of self esteem when yoru partner doesnt want you or find you sexually attractive.All our friends when I left him though I was crazy and I lost them too because of his fear of coming out.. I lost my trust in men completely. Things were very hard. I raised my daughter on my own. I never got to say how hard that was, I never got to talk to anyone about why and what happened I just worked hard. The thing is the isolation because if you tell what has happened you and your child get judged or negated. My daughter is 35 now and is the facilitator to for an organisation that supports all varieties of people with gender difference. I am so lucky she grew up knowing how it is that society norms can cause so much pain for people if they are naturally outside this...and that celebrating difference and connection to other is where unconditional love lies.
My ex-wife is lesbian, but didn't "come out" until after we had been married for many years. I didn't understand it at the time, and the first two years after we divorced were the hardest. But I don't blame her for what happened. I know she didn't do it on purpose, and I know she didn't do it to hurt me, and she wasn't using me to hide behind me. She was doing what she had been taught and what she had been led to believe; that getting married would "fix" her.
The people who are to blame for it are the ones who tell lesbian and gay people that they are sick, depraved and evil or psychotic. A lot of the comments here are doing the same thing, and those attitudes don't make it stop, they make it keep happening..
then the person should stay single. There is never an excuse for it. They are only thinking about themselves.
I appreciate you for your compassion.
@@kingofcomments4832Denial can be an incredible thing. It is entirely possible they do not realize they are gay until they are already married with children, the house, the whole nine yards and then realize it. And at that point, what is the point in coming out? They don’t want to disrupt their children’s lives, they are told seeking a divorce would be selfish and so even if they realize it on some level, they go back to denying it. This can go on for many, many years. Even decades. Until one day their conscience forces them to face the truth. They realize they cannot live a lie any longer. It is very complicated. This is why we NEED pride. We need teenagers to figure out they are gay BEFORE they make life-long commitments to opposite sex partners. Gay marriage and gay rights help keep straight people from experiencing this pain.
@kingofcomments4832 some of it yes some of it No. Your not in their shoes, and u did not experience their Trauma. Depression and self esteem plays a huge role in beein found out your gay
I am living this situation right now. My husband doesn’t want to even talk about it after I caught his text sexual messages to his “friend”. Instead he is angry at me because I confronted him. We are separated. I feel like my whole marriage is fake nothing was real. I do believe he and his family knew since the beginning he was gay. They probably thought that I would cure him. I feel used, wronged, blindsided...I loved him...My soul aches for the loss of what I thought my husband was. For all the closeted married man out there please STOP LYING. BE HONEST and tell the truth to your spouse. It is so low when you use people so you can live a lie at their expense.
Solange, Yep, that is the word...blindsided.. Don't ever give this loser a chance to hurt you again..He will never change, and by being involved with him in any way will prevent you from eventually finding happiness with a decent man. I personally know the hurt.. The lie began when I met Michael, and was courting..I asked him if he drank.."Ocassionaly", he answered.In my mind, I'm thinkin weddings, at-the-lake picnics..Nah, it was binge drinkin. That was just his first lie...Then it was "I'd never cheat on you with a woman"..it was a man...men...God only knows.. He felt justified that he had kept true to his word...not be with a woman....It never entered his deviate mind that cheatin wasn't right. There were no indications that he had this homosexual thing...well now that I look back...he did primp a lot and held up his lil pinkie when he drank his beer. Haha! Wait for that man that God intens for you....
Hi, i know your post is 4 years ago,i’m going through with the same stuff like you now. I’m still with my husband cause i’m still love him so much. As a person who already go through all that things, can you give me some advises, please! How would we choose and how the thing gonna be? I appreciate it…..!!!😢😢
Some of us never get closure. So it becomes a bottomless pit of pain. After 25 years of marriage my ex continues to go after unsuspecting women.....hiding because of his family. Meanwhile im just in a constant state of shock.
It's horrible to give all your love to someone who could never love you
My dad was gay. Married my mom to cover it up n do the "right thing" (get married, have babies). His family didn't like that as they were Chinese my dad married a Puerto Rican, Irish, Italian American girl and had these white looking babies. Fast forward my lil brother passed from SIDS and my dad's dad ended up shooting him in the chest when I was bout 2 years old. He was deported back to China. This was back in 89. Times have changed, but still. As a child of 1 of these type of marriages I can truly say I feel for the children. We have no choice but to live through our parents life choices.
??? SO where does the attempted murder come into the scenario? TMI?
There was once a man named Billie,he was married for over 50 years and when he died that was when the entire town found out he was a she. The partner knew she was a woman,but no one else did until the coroner (who knew Billie) was stunned to discover that Billie had no penis on the autopsy table. I mention this story because there are people who go to their graves with this kind of secret!
Billie was actually pretty well known as a (Male) musician in his day, too. He was married to a woman for years before his death.
Why do gay men think it's okay to marry straight women and pursue secret affairs with gay lovers
Coward’s
It's not gay mens fault. Why is society homophobic
Good to know I was not the only one. Thank you.
Nope, we're out here right with you - "lucky" us.
I’m dealing with this right now. A thirty seven year marriage is about to end.
I'm sorry. Please stay strong.
Oh am so sorry for the pain you're passing through
LEZLIE WIAZOWSKA
But sex is lust and more.....
Equally selfish is insisting on being with a monogamous type while you are polyamorous.
Its a demonic movement of destruction they force on people until people say no we won't normalise that crap.
"If you tell your husband its okay to be homosexual" then don't be surprised when he goes down with the dogs and rises with the fleas. A person got married and it turned out the man drank himself till death.
She got tested before getting into a new relationship and discovered she got AIDS from her EX Homosexual Husband. I guess he was comfy with no shame and got used to his destructive immoral habits in his swamp. She did not deserve that at all.
The World is running amuck in sexuality - lust for only lust,,,and IT is sad. But good people are out there, still believing in love between two adults who are willing to see one another, for Better or worse❤️😉❤️
Having a funeral for your hurt makes sense to me
I am gay. But I am a millennial, I’m 33 years old. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed but all these straight spouses are from mostly the same generation, an older generation. So the men and women they married were people who were gay and we’re trying to look normal because it wasn’t as excepted as it is now, felt pressured to get married perhaps, perhaps they were their parents only child. I remember for myself even as a child growing up in the 90s, I am the only child, and I felt guilty and I felt that I had to get married so that my parents wouldn’t feel like failures that their only child was gay. It’s a struggle for both people. It is easy to say just don’t get married, but even for me growing up as I said, look at how I felt. And I’m of a later generation. Also given that these gay spouses are from an older generation, they may even have been trying to change themselves by marrying someone, and also just overall viewing this is the only way to be seen as normal in the world. If you look at the street spouses in this video, they are all very gentle and kind hearted people who are not threatening. That is most likely why their gay spouse married them, because they felt that in order to marry someone of the opposite gender, they really needed to find someone who was cozy and safe to be with. So I don’t think that these gay spouses did not think this out beforehand.
Perhaps. But they cheated on their spouses by mind and often with body. Cheating seemed to be approved in this docu just because they are gay.
"Cultivate compassion, it's not about you" WTF ????
IT IS ABOUT YOU IF YOU JUST WASTED SEVERAL YEARS OF YOUR LIFE ON SOMEONE CHOOSINGGGG TO REPRESS THEIR OWN DAMN SEXUALITY.
so happy the gay community is much more widely accepted and that gay marriage is legal because this is a damn nightmare.
You are NOT THE VICTIM if you're gay and in a straight marriage.
@ Hannah Oliver I'm so glad I'm not the only woman on here giving some thumps upside the head! I seen that Narcissist male Homosexual dish out ugly Memes to every Heterosexual on this thread and I RECOGNIZED HIS HATEFUL LITTLE SHITHEAD SELF!! saying I put you on mute TF!?? Like IDGAF anyway 😂 😂🙄 eeee 🤦
I actually say you got a good comment about legal gay marriage that way that there isn't any probs there. And I am serious. It has nothing to do with what I agree or not agree about on their choosing at least there is a way thru THIS 😁🤣
I wholly agree. Women and men who are homosexual have remained single their entire life and not ruined another's for centuries. The "things were different back then" excuse is horrible. Especially because this is still happening today. I couldn't imagine the betrayal felt to the spouse.
They don't repress their sexuality at all. They are fucking other males throughout their entire marriage.
They are using the "wife" as a disguise. She is nothing more than a costume he puts on when he wants the approval of his family, his colleagues, and she incubates his babies so he doesn't have to pay a surrogate, and he'll have someone to take care of him in his old age. This is how narcissists think. They don't love or care for anyone. They just use people.
Narcissistic Personality DIsorder should be taught in school. Men who are pathologically narcissistic are almost always bisexual. Every single gay male I've known over my lifetime has been a narcissist, and I've known, lived with and worked with HUNDRED. Every single one was a pathological narcissist, although I've casually met a few who seemed very co-dependent.
Nobody "chooses" to repress their sexuality.
They might not be a victim in today's society, but back then... absolutely the gays and lesbians were victims. We can't judge marriages from 20-30 years ago based on what we know today.
I hope people who believe being gay is a choice, understand that no one in their right minds would choose to be a homosexual, considering the enormous prejudice and hatred we, the so called normal people, put them through.
Then you meet those rare people who like my ex wife and I come along where she openly knew and didn’t care she was marrying a gay man because of family reasons.
That's I never married. I'm never attracted to women, and I don't want to entrap someone in a marriage based on lies. I live a celibate life, fully aware that while my I am attracted to men, I shouldn't act on my unnatural desires. This is the least I could do for God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.
@@uthmanhanif6321 I'm a Christian and there's a verse in the Bible that says "Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord." It means small sacrifices such as foregoing my fleshly desire to engage in sinful acts is nothing compared to the depth of living and knowing Jesus Christ. Why? Because He loved me so much that He died for me and forgave my sins. If living for Him means not having sex with another man for the next 50 years, so be it. What's important is that I live my life to please Him and bring glory to His Name. I pray that you would find it in your heart to get to know Him. God bless you, my friend.
Sam Bee
Well said. Best wishes.😁🌺
@@sambee4927 I am praying for you brother.. Keep up the faith.. Fight the good fight till the end God bless.
@@uthmanhanif6321 I am praying for you too.. That God should guide and protect you and lead you to the way truth and life.. in Jesus name Amen!
In the video I noticed that most of the people seem to be in their 50s or maybe older. When they got married back people were expected to be straight and many hid in the closet. It is 2019 and it's a new generation and people rarely live in the closet anymore.I dont think being gay has been accepted more .I just feel people have become more free and decided to be who they are and have stepped out of the dark ages.
amen
Wrong. Closet Gay's enjoy the game of lies and deceit and seem empowered by it. Choosing to live like this. Narcistic
Just happened to me this year
Literally back then being single was fine. It was okay. Everyone likes to act like the 60's-70's was a time of repression when literally everyone was fucking each other and no one was devoted.
It's still happening.
The couple who divorced and she married his friend from work - wow! That lady is so fortunate now to have 2 deep and secure relationships with men. I know it was painful for them but now it seems amazing.
No kidding - she has TWO hands to hold when she goes to the hospital, they are both devoted to her. Lucky woman!
All I can say is that the single dad, journalist is so handsome.
If he is not on a relationship, I would like to meet him.
Good luck to all of you and God bless
Get in line woman! lol. I deserve him more.
@@DawnSuttonfabfour 😂😂😂omg you killed me ladies.
Luciane Edgington he’s mine back off 🤣🤣
I seen that too I was all hey
Yes...I was thinking the same.
I came out when I was 14 and I'm glad I did. Lots of people my age married women and it was a fraud from day one. Some women are forgiving, but I can't imagine doing that to someone.
When I went to Straight Spouse Meetings which had many attendees, not one said their gay spouse helped them move on, as that lucky couple towards the end of this show. The usual tale at the meetings was that the gay spouse already had their new happy life lined up and moved on without a care about the devastation left behind.
I don’t care how cruel society is toward you and your sexuality: work it out so that you don’t ruin someone else’s life too! How dare you seek sympathy from ANYONE when you have NONE for the person you DECEIVED. Society stinks sometimes, but you don’t have to as well.
Change the society then gay people don't have any excuse for marrying straight people.
@@Falcon-xb8dn thank you
We can fix this problem by shouting down any religious person that says that homosexuality is a choice, a sin, or a so called " lifestyle". You should shout down anybody that tries to use the Bible to say that it's a choice to be gay or that try to force their children into so called "conversion therapy". Religion is the root cause of this problem.
@@BJN1253Facts
I’m a gay man
And I remember back then when I was 12 when I had discovered the truth about my sexuality and the uncomfortable feeling that I felt was indescribable
I thought marrying a gorgeous woman would fix my “problem”
I wouldn’t say that I was a fool
I was just afraid of being discriminated against
And now I’m very glad that I’ve understood myself and I’ll never make a descent woman suffer with me just because of my fear of coming out
And thank you for spreading awareness ❤
If ur bisexual it's not that bad for u to marry a woman but if ut fully gay why u even marry a women to ruined her life with you?
I believe this happened to me. Married 20 years, 3 children now adults. Dad never came out. I thought all those years something was seriously wrong with me. I drank a lot, cried a lot, had 5 psychiatrists, 6 psychologists and dozens of different medical doctors and counted my self help books one day. I had 80. After We split he moved the children from me and my daughter blamed me and alienated me for 7 years. I almost died. It's so very wrong.
girl, it does not sound like you were an angel. c'mon
@@PHlophe Exactly. She doesn't even know for sure, she only "believes" this happened to her and yet has no evidence for it, even after 5 psychiatrists and 6 psychologists. It's rare for the children to go with the father after a divorce, so that right there says something else was amiss.
Yuck. I dated a DL guy for 2 years. Zero respect
It destroyed who I was I was young and I married twice more but I could never trust again now I'm old but I'm fine
Thats a shame😢 i hope the person that hurt you has the same thing happen to them you dont deserve this at all
Well, if you're alive and doing fine, as you say, it didn't really "destroy" you. You're alive and doing fine, that's what you yourself said.
@@briannabrittany3127
@@briannabrittany3127 shudup
@@rondaflint8637 Thank you for proving my point. Your own attitude can break you or heal you. You get to choose.
I married a very closeted gay. He preys on straight guys. It's not gay if you're both straight and wasted. When I knew for sure he beat me. That was just the beginning.
Their lies tore their families apart.
My older sister married a man she didn't know was gay. He came out to her a few years later and they divorced. Everyone has a right to live life as their true selves. It was a shame gay/lesbian people had to "hide", if they were always able to be "out" and date or marry a person of their own sex, so much heartbreak could be avoided by them and their "straight" partner.
I went berserk when I found out my wife was cheating on me with another woman
Understandable such betrayal. How do people just switch off like that?
Asking the question, 'Are you gay'? as early as possible would possibly allow for dialogue, letting go and any loving friendship to remain. I wish I had been that brave, and kept the friendship of a very interesting man, who would not longer have had to lie to me. Instead, he went on to marry again, and continued living on the down low.
Wow, it would have been good of you to send her a note if you knew who she was before she married him... Tell her now. I do understand not wanting to rock your own world tho.....
Whoever you are a gay or lesbian if your getting married u r cheating someone who really care 4 u .you r
Not only breaking somebody's heart. U r just killing them pls don't do this
Nearly married a gay guy, he turned out to be a very bad person after I found out..thank God I found out before it when forward, now I'm happily married to a wonderful guy 🙌🏼
So sorry for the people who went through this 💔.
On behalf of us, thanks for understanding the pain!
I found out my husband gay to but I still strong 💪🏼 to accept..and I can’t live without him...
I feel pity for the straight spouses and their kids 🙁
Hmmm are you straight too
Happens to so many women around the world and it’s so cruel.
..yes, it is cruel for the men who pretend that they are something that they are not.
WOMEN DO THIS TOO!
@@cledwynstafford4819 it’s cruel for both. Dont act like it’s one sided
Narcissistic people are cruel. Trust your gut it’s the only way.
Happens to much more men that's sad
I was a straight spouse. It all blew up when my husband passed away suddenly and things were found that I was unaware of. Hindsight is 20/20 and all I can say is, you don't go looking for clues when you don't think there's a problem.
Mrs Chester That was your biggest problem. It’s OK to be suspicious of a person’s actions. I think there should be a mutual agreement that a spouse can access one another phone, computer, bank records. You never know when an individual might be a pedophile, secretly gay, or cheater.
This happened to me. My husband was a marine we had three sons and married 25 years until my middle son and i caught him with a 16 year old boy that was in the same class as our youngest. This has been 5 years ago and im still angry but have moved on. I will never ever be friends with him. He is a horrible person.
With a 16 year old child, I wouldn't be his friend either 😡
that's a pedophile
Im a gay man,but i dont understand men who are gay and marry a woman,its so cruel.
The society they live in that expects them to do so.
Why is cruel
I am not good at lying that why I would never do something like this.
Falcon, I don't think Billy B. was askin a question....I believe he was makin a statement, especially knowlegeable, as he is a gay man.....who would be more qualified, as he is in that community.
Please pray for me and my relationship… I’ve had a rising suspicion that my boyfriend might be gay. I feel insane and don’t know what’s real anymore.:.. I hope I’m wrong.
Just ask
You married a gay guy, and he married his best friend ......
Living a life of cruel deception and selfish behavior to the core . . . it’s all about ME, ME, ME and damn whatever. Just like a self-indulgent child acting out.
Brenda BaBoom E X A C T L Y
Luke Mason Like many folk I’m not a therapist ... maybe you are. I will disagree and agree about behavior with my point of view. You, me, them and whoever can ‘change society’ and the fake relationships whenever that’s possible ...
Yep, you described it...Narcissistic Personality Disorder. That's who these down-low fraudulent MFers are.
That describes the G Agenda in a nutshell . Immorality normalised amunct others pushing and demanding for others to consider this the norm is disgusting by way of damaging health of mind, body and soul of the victims = unhealthy lifestyle
LeTh You nailed it! If more people spoke the truth such as you, what a wonderful world we'd have
At 13:00 minutes in, exactly. When the other person lies consistently to you but you know something is wrong, you blame yourself and after many years, the damage from this is enormous and possibly permanent.
Same thing happened to me. I surmised my husband was gay. As one friend stated, I can compete with a women but I can’t compete with a man! My marriage ended in divorce. I could not any longer let my husband touch me, he grossed me out.
I think its very odd that Bruce Jenner went from wife to wife...having children...knowing he was a woman inside
He has mental issues, i don't like him.
I feel he is putting on a facade and it could be any kind of fake-ness. He's just creepy.
Yes, he always "knew" that he was a woman, it only took three wives and eight children to bring it out..right
Carolyn Nigro Find it odd that she's a Republican. Dumb broad, tRump hates the LGBTQ community right after IMMIGRANTS AND people of color.
@@edwinagray4373 No ..I think the media just portrays him that way
Where is Ross . He should be interviewed
What an amazing and well done documentary!