Even if you do this, It's still racist, we promise. Alex Velluto
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- Опубликовано: 20 сен 2024
- What do you do when you have that friend that does that thing that indicates they're about to be racist. Watch "Thirsty" by Alex Velluto only at drybarcomedy.co...
"if you say 'needless to say,' that should be followed by silence" hilarious
Right? My whole life has been a lie.
juliana freire or also “no offense, but...”
See now, you can say, "Needless to say," to give what you are saying extra emphasis. However, "I don't mean to be racist," should DEFINITELY be followed by silence! Although, it might look less strange- and less racist- to just not say it to begin with.😉😂
I'm going to do that to somebody just to confuse them.
What a natural comic. Not only is he friggin hilarious, you can tell he’s enjoying it all too, which adds to how great all his jokes are.
D. Utley This bit was stolen from Bill Burr
He stole Bill Burr's adopted brother? 😲
I agree.
This guy is really talented.
, go away Tim. Some people say the dumbest things! Concepts, thoughts, feelings etc are not owned and the same ones do occur in thousands of random people at any given moment. SO you might want to just educate yourself before speaking or maybe just shhhhhh.
@@timpaulson2713 Bill Burr has an adopted brother who is black?
Coworker: What color is your new cat ?
Me: *looks over both shoulders*
*whispers* She's black
Dan Butcher That was my grandma, bless her heart.
LMAO!!!
jeppemichael No, my grandma was a Mormon. 😁 She’d totally mouth the word “black “ when talking about people, even with the most benign of comments.
@jeppemichael LOL, good one. 😆
hahahahaha
I've actually executed the "Needless to say" followed by silence during a conversation... with people I didnt really want to be conversing with in the first place, but that's why Thanksgiving exists... and let me tell you, if you.need a quick way to confuse and infuriate half-drunk relatives, that one is a gold mine.
Velius I can’t wait to use it. 🤗
"I mean you're racist, but your neck is okay." HAHA!
Best part😂😂😂 they way he snuck that in there...lol
I wonder if she was confusing Anne Frank with Aretha Franklin 😂
Eloya W that's way too soon. 😢
Anthony Convery i cried ;-;
How you figure?
Gus Tav Google Patti LaBelle.
@@CanItAlready lol not kool bro
Loving this, my sister in law is Filipino and I always wonder if people think I'm kidnapping my nieces or nephews, we get lots of strange looks. She thinks it's hilarious.
Oh my gosh three languages is awesome! If it's not too intrusive to ask, what other two languages are spoken at home?
RUclipsIsMyReligion Tha is so cool! I love tiny polyglots!
@@FlagCutie
"Tiny polyglots" is the best thing I've ever read online in the past month, at least! 😂😂😂😂😂
My niece is very dark skinned. She is native American and white. Her mother is super pale and she's been asked if she's babysitting a lot. I think I'd be offended if it was my kid.
I'd totally tell people I'm the adopted one just to change it up a little😂😂😂
😅
I do this w my brother all the time 😂
I need a shirt that says "over the shoulder minority check"😂
When he made the hellen keller joke i literally snorted
I was laughing so hard I cried.
He looks like the Bunny from Hood Winked
Christian Parelius, why?! Now I can't unsee it!
YEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!!
Sounds like him to. Surprise!
he also looks like the bunny from the Secret Life of Pets
Christian Parelius 🤣😂😋
Oh my gosh the two Helen Keller jokes at the end KILLED ME
You're never too old for a Helen Keller joke
Or if someone says...."to be honest". Me: "So you aren't otherwise??!"
😒Always strikes me that way, as do similar, 'I swear this is true' & 'I wouldn't lie to you.'
I guarantee that you and everyone else in this world, are dishonest 99% of the time.
Do not confuse "honesty" with "truthfulness"
@Carlo Cocciolo "very kind of you" is just basic appreciation of courtesy and/or benevolence. It doesn't assume you are a barbarian otherwise. It is simply to thank and show recognition of you doing something you don't need to do. If I were to ask you for help and you did I'd say it. You didn't need to help me and you did and to show my appreciation I can say that it was a kind gesture YOU did not have to do.
Courtesy and benevolence are not default. Actions that show these traits require a choice to be made. Gratitude is an acknowledgement of these kinds of choices.
Hope I was clear in this explanation 😊
That's not a minority check, it's a "personalities who will be offended" check. The first time everybody uses that, is to check for Mom before swearing.
Craig Goetsch if you don’t say anything in the key of “racist whisper” minorities would have no reason the be offended. Just say it and take the consequence like an adult.
Again, it is an easily offended person check. (I swear a lot)
If I'm telling a "racist" joke, I want a good natured person of that race standing there listening to it, so I can find out if they think it's funny.
People get offended too much lately but plenty of people like saying really terrible things about race which is offensive when phrased poorly because it’s offensive to treat individuals as if they’re part of some inherent group simply based off of appearance (race). Which isn’t the same as seeing the individual in relationship to their affiliations or culture. But race is a whole other matter. Because it matters so little
and, it's Bill Burr's joke...
As Louis C.K. says " If you offend someone. You don't get to decide you didn't."
He is such a joy. I cannot stop laughing.
"The over the shoulder minority check" 😂 Great stuff
The first half of this is literally Bill Burr’s “when the N word is coming” bit.
I literally scrolled the comments section just to see if someone else noticed.
@@freedomisachoice same here, I couldn't stop scrolling until I saw this.
...Not really? Bill Burr's set is solely about the over the shoulder check. "That's how you know the n word is coming" then he explains a time it happened to him.
Common RUclips sin: “Without further ado” ( followed by 10 more minutes of rambling. )
Kids: you don’t say that unless you are wrapping things up!
Kelly Alves that’s said to introduce things not to end them
It basically means "no more delaying" so it signifies the start of one thing and the wnd of another. It usually is said when trying to give context to a story or trying to introduce characters or people on stange.
My favorite is when RUclipsrs start with “let’s get right into it” without just getting right into it.
QueenLana PepsiCola acually “ without further ado “ means “ without any more delay”. Look it up yourself.
Hey, you forgot something that sheltered Utah people know. Animated Disney movies and all the princesses! 😂🤣
I love how he battles racial stereotypes by engaging in social stereotypes...but he was still funny.
Don Wilson tbh i think black people may have historically had a harder time than nerdy Christians with poor historical knowledge but idk
Frank Mackenzie oh, you sure got me there - in that special way that makes most folks just roll their eyes and move on...congratulations keyboard warrior! You’re irrelevant!
I took the original comment to more be like when he made the joke that people would misunderstand him calling his brother "brother", though Frank's follow up hardly seems rude or "keyboard warrior"-like to me, and even if he did seemingly get the wrong end of the stick his point about not all stereotypes being equal is perhaps relevant?
Stereotypes are useful and fun, when applied correctly.
This was by far your best set. I found myself lol-ing for realsies.
I had plenty of come-backs for the dumb question "Is your sister adopted?"
*I'm white, she is not white.
Comeback #1: No, I am.
Comeback #2: Why do you ask?
Comeback #3: You know, I'm not sure...
Comeback #4: Are you?
My favorite is #3.
More Alex Velluto, please!!
Alex is a great story teller. I'm sure he really works at his jokes but they seem effortless. He seems to be one of those naturally funny people it's not just what he says but his whole demeanor is funny. I'd pay to see him perform I'm just not likely to be in Utah anytime soon. Go Alex! You've got a real gift!
Anybody else feel like his parents adopted because they know they arent getting grandchildren?
Ouch...
@@SimonHomeintheEarth truth hurts😂 no hate i just feel like thats whats going on.
I hope his brother is real, he sounds like he is such a good brother.
This was really good, probably the best I've heard from Dry Bar! I think that means you should let him go now.
We have released Alex into the wild. Careful he could be lurking in your bushes.
I’ve loved all of his clips his jokes are so on point!! I hope he goes far he certainly has the talent for it.
We do too! Share his bits! And let everyone watch him! Thanks
One of the funniest I have seen on Dry Bar Comedy! Hilarious!
Seeing his now middle aged black brother go "No-o-o-o" would be hilarious. Utah and California are on separate planets.
California is a shithole
Thank God, for Utah that is.
Funny, I do the "over the shoulder look" when I'm about to state a truth that some "folk" just hate acknowledging and could possibly lead to a violent reaction.
Wow, I like his second special just as much as his first one! That's impressive.
5 minutes is now called a special?
This was the funniest bit of stand-up I've seen in a long time.
Very smart set. I love when a comic is as confident and well spoken as he is. So hilarious!
Fascinating. Where are the "Why do you guys always talk about race?" comments. I guess those are reserved for people of color.
Regardless, this is funny stuff. Thanks for the laughs.
Elaine Waller-Rose +
Why are you talkin bout race?
seems like it is you this time around. congrats!
Why even bring it up??? We’re all enjoying this clip then you comment... you are the problem.
Adrian Thomas amen!!!
Who doesn’t know Ann Frank?
It's Anne actually :)
Jessica Stohr my apologies, I just realized I did that
I guess the answer to that question is... you
Mormons apparently
People in Utah
I don't think I was born with that reflex--either that or I was cured of it growing up in and out of foster care/poverty.
I've never laughed so hard! Thank you! You are officially up there with Warren!
“The over-the-shoulder minority check”
6:15 a.m. here, starting my day with good ☕ and lots of giggles, thank you.
Omg this is the funniest bit I’ve seen on Dry Bar. Genius man!
Super funny! I'm having a bad day so thank you for making me smile.
Yeah Scrotus, look at that name...
My girlfriend had a similar experience. She’s asian and was adopted into a white family. Her best friend growing up looked almost exactly like my girlfriend’s mom, so in public my girlfriend would look like the friend. It definitely confused people sometimes.
" yeah whispering, thats one way you know white people are about to be racist"
that invoked an audible laugh from me while on the subway. and im not ashamed.
5:28 for your information... I gave you the up thumbs before you began to beg so.....yeah lol
The over the shoulder minority check😂😂😂😂He cracks me up every time😂😂😂😂
Omg Alex Velluto I just found you and am about to binge on as many of your routines as i can find on youtube. You're effortlessly hilarious, awesome!
bill burr did the whole over the sholder bit
I don't mean to be racist, but I really like goat cheese.
Minority check was funnier when Bill Burr did it. Rest was pretty good.
Click on something anything, I'm being held here against my will . Please click on something , so they'll let me go. I laughed even harder on this one 🤣🤣🤣🤣
In the movie Clerks 2, Anne Frank and Hellen Keller were mentioned back to back too. Neat.
Brian Kerrigan that’s probably where some of his inspiration for content came from.
I freaking love his stand up. My second time watching the dry bar performance and its awesome! Thanx so much for the laugh!
I’m half black and this girl I work with asked if I celebrate Christmas or Kwanzaa 😂😂
Thats what happens if you teach kids about both christmas without the reality check xd
THIS WAS SO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!! It literally filled me with actual happiness, not depressive fake-ish laughter. MORE OF THIS MAN, PLEASE
I've clicked my TV remote. LET HIM GO!
I live this guy for alot of reasons, number one: He looks and sounds like the Bunny from Hoodwinked
Holy shit, this guy is hilarious. Way to dodge those laser beams, man.
One of the very few times that a piece of stand-up come up on my suggested that I actually enjoyed. Not bad, man.
Almost perfect, Alex. Can't wait to see you in a year or two.
Hey, Daily Show, I'd look this guy over.
I laughed from start to finish...especially the plea at the end. 😄😄😄😁😄😁😄😁😄😁😄😁😄😁😄😁😁😁
“Not to mention” is another thing you say when you’re bringing up something that would be pointless because you said that.
Is that clock driving anyone else crazy? Roman numeral for 8 is VIII not IIX...
Not until you had to mention it, My Romans are about forty years rusty so please refresh my memory. With Romans do you not put subtracted digits before the primary digit? You only add digits to get the number? If so than 4 is not IV either. unless I'm completely wrong.
it can be written either way, with up to 3 characters of the same type before or after the larger character
Thats because 8 IS VIII
Ask any 10 year old British kid.
I don't mean to be racist, but It's Okay to be white.
reported for HaTe SpEaCh
@@JohnSmith-zk9rc 😆 lol
This was great. Looking forward to seeing more of him.
Did his parents just subtract his neck when they made him? They were like: Naaaaah, he dont need a neck.
He was very funny tho.
Bowing to the ignorance of others doesn’t help either.
This guy looks like one of the Whos from the live action Grinch mixed with the Peter Pettigrew
Absolutely hilarious! 😂 “Star Wars, Harry Potter and Jesus”. Lol!
I'm finding dry bar to be more consistently funnier than comedy unleashed.
All your stuff is great, Alex.
Since when is the Roman numeral for 8 IIX??
Waffle Wagon i am totally going to write it that way now!
Waffle Wagon Yeah, I noticed that, too.
This guy it's awesome!! I wish there was more of him online. Can't find any info
That was great! Loved every bit of it, very well done!
Good comedian lol most of the ones have good routines but don't make me laugh but this guy did. He's very good
We went to church with a family that had a daughter that was black and was born to them.
More of this guuuy
Now that was a killer closer!
That happened to me yesterday.
I was at Walmart and I saw a guy who was pretty much actually black, white guys who are actually white aren't too uncommon but a black people aren't normally this dark.
Of course I noticed and it made me wonder a few things, you don't want to be racist but sometimes you can't help but notice.
Tyler Snyder The diversity in human skin and hair is amazing.
I do the "minority check" because I work in the service industry, and can't swear around normal people.
"Click on something ". So, I clicked on pause
Mom: You are just going through the Helen Keller phase
Son: Sorry what?
Mon: Stop that!
Son: I can't
Mom: No!
Son: hear you
Love this channel
Everyone is a little racist. EVERYONE.
The look over the shoulder bit reminds me of Fry and Laurie's Comedy Masterclass sketch. Exact same move, just applied to a different punchline.
Yes. Now I need more. SATIATE ME.
His voice makes the video even better 🤣
I'm half Filipina and my dad is white. Whenever we're out it looks like I'm following around some strange middle-aged man for ulterior motives.
So I can’t skip commercials now? I’m about done with RUclips
Love this guy!! 🤣🤣🤣
He's a genius. One of the best!
All I can focus on is the incorrect Roman numeral.
8 is not IIX
OMG "the over the shoulder minority check" LOLOL
my african-american son is also autistic. like some people with autism he like to jump, A LOT. when he first came to me and he jumped all about i used to call him "tigger" after the character from winnie the pooh. that was until one time when i said it in public and a person turned to me and asked "What did you call him?" so no more "tigger"
OMG people whisper "is she mixed?" when I introduce my daughter. I and I'm just like ugggggh
Alisha Truemper No, she's full blooded human. My friend has two boys, one's father is white and the other's is black. I don't think of them as the white one and the mixed one. I know the very notion of race was invented to justify unfounded attitudes of otherness against groups of people. I hate that our society continues to allow it to divide us to this day.
@@MatthewStinar
"the very notion of race was invented to justify unfounded attitudes of otherness against groups of people"
Oof. While I agree with the notion of treating people fairly, its like saying that red hair was invented to bully people.
These are descriptors - often of almost binary nature.
Different race but still a human, not "race is a social construct invented by hitler".
I bet some people even said something on the lines of "Sure he's your brother. Both straight out of Compton right?"
Don't worry Alex, I clicked the thumbs up button before you even finished... 😂
i skipped the Helen Keller phase and went straight to dead babies
All these Dry Bar comedians should be writing for network TV shows. Maybe then there would be funny comedies.