He was right abt that.. there are many ppl like this, they're friends ,family, lovers n its expected to act with politeness even when they deserved fist in the face! Sigmund F. would say culture only masks all the crimes that people committed.
You don't need to tell all truths at the same time, some things need their right circumstance and the appropriate logic to force certain statements. Nevertheless, there are many ways to tell the truth, you can make people intuite that you are not trying to hurt but to build upon some bigger interest your friend needs to look out for.
I have always felt the way Jordan explains things. It's refreshing to know that I am a pretty healthy individual despite having been emotionally and physiologically abused all of my life.
Thank you for pointing out my failures. Just letting me know the words to be able to communicate what I have been thinking. Truely another perfectly hand crafted keystone. Rebuilding my castle with better skills this time. You have made me undoubtedly a better man, husband, father. ALL community interaction has been hard after the military. Trying to understand and dealing with civilian life with mental and physical pain is different and not the same as before the military for me to deal with. "I think any man or woman willing to sacrifice themselves to help others that are truly oppressed" that it changes perspective good or bad. Knowlege is absorbed in that time you spent. Then it's a matter of digesting that information and what you can handle. Giving young men and women knowledge is key to help everyone be the best version of themselves. We all have so much more to gain working together. Thank you Mr. Peterson!
Nah I think a lot of people pretend like they didn’t make that choice when in reality they knew exactly what they were doing,”forgetting” is just something you do so you can play along with your own game but whatever
Forgetting is what you do out of ignorant loyalty to a friend so as the doc would say just being agreeable cuz u feel like omg imma lose my friend and be alone... an old man told me one time in Wal mart... son u know the only thing worse than being alone I giggled and said no sir he said wishing u was... dropped that knowledge on me I’ve never forgotten it and have never seen the msn again, but he helped me get past an obstacle
1:37 case against avoidance/repression/ignoring of parts of who you are is a case for speaking/living your truth: Repression is denying yourself / lying to yourself / not speaking/acting on the truth/feelings/opinions/thoughts that your ideal self would speak, that you would speak if you realized you were mortal and were going to die soon, that you would speak if you weren't held back by fear of rejection/embarrassment. If you repress you might as well not be living, what’s the point of living if you’re not gonna live. 1:44, 2:04 the plant will grow anyway, you can choose to let it grow in a healthy way by letting it be free/open (by not hiding it’s expression and shielding it from exposure/practice/action). Or you can hide it, shield it (repress it) but it will still come out (be expressed) and grow but in an unhealthy/unfavorable manner. Instead of repressing/avoiding and having those feelings express for you anyway in an unhealthy manner (being a slave to your flesh), be free, by not denying yourself (lying to yourself), by practicing expressing your truth/feelings/thoughts in a healthy manner when they come up. (How to know your truth/feelings/thoughts: what you’d say/do if you knew you were going to die, what your ideal self would say/do).
@@herculesbrofister265 It's a complicated problem and you won't find a straightforward solution from anyone. What I've learned from old Jordy-boy here is that, instead of "keeping up the lie" that they have rationalized and fabricated, you take note of that. You don't obsess about it, but you notice it and make a mental note that it's worth thinking about. After you notice them doing the same "wrong" thing again, you call them out on it privately. Yeah there might be a fight, probably will be. Yeah, it might end the relationship. But "from the ashes of the phoenix" will rise something better. It sounds like I'm weaving a bullshit story, but that's because I don't know the specifics of the relationship, and neither do I know the future of what will happen, but these stories encompass all possible situations that might be true, and that's why they're so powerful and sounds meaningful and "make sense" even if they shouldn't. So it's "true" no matter what happens because it's broad enough, but still specific enough. Maybe your relationship is so strong that it will survive, maybe there won't even be a fight, maybe you'll have the fight of a lifetime, maybe you'll break up, I don't know. But whatever happens, it'll be better because you spoke the truth, burnt off the deadwood and what's left is worth it to take with you in life. Also, don't throw rocks in glass houses. Clean up your room before you save the world, get your own act together. Then call her out.
Question (please): does anyone have the extended version of Professor Jordan B. Peterson's given class, there are other aspects he hasn't discussed, which am locked-into. Thanks a bunch, Jon
Like to examine and analyze one's thoughts and emotions to come to understand apprehend with your mind ,from the existential point of view.......God bless Professor Jordan Peterson and more power
I have a very hard time Not thinking about it! It's not too often that I don't think about something that I did, have done, or what's been done to me. My problem is letting those awful thoughts go.
In retrospect, I did daydream about divorce a couple of years before I ever found the courage to utter the words. We have three children together though, so it wasn’t an easy choice. I also had a deep intuitive voice telling me shit would hit the fan if I asked for a divorce...and boy I wasn’t wrong!! 😥 As someone that walked on eggshells around my father, I was raised to be a people pleaser. I tend to automatically say “yes” when I mean “no”. Three years out of an 18 year relationship I am finally learning what I want and need, finding my voice and learning to express myself and my feelings.
@@chrisraming2797 Yeah it can be...live way under your income. I.lived on a sailboat for,tenuears the most fun maybe Imevermhad though right now is great too. THe sailboat was used had to be renovated spent more on the reno than the boat which wasn't cheap 45 ft motorsailor. But the lifestyle was cheap anchoring out in foreign countries. Living under my income now, too in a foreign tropical country so.anotherhappy periodAway from the social,problems in the USA.Themehiners, the willful failures posing as victims , all thatmstupidity does not exist where I am they live for,today mostly and quite happily in many cases and being retired ie out ofmthemacquisitve phase of life I live for,them happiness in each day too...a great way to.live,if you CAN...you do,have to,have some resources though to,do this as a non native though.....not growing my own corn and beans on an inherited milpa.
Can some help me and point me to a video clip from JBP where he explains in very good detail how an alcoholic creates a world for themselves and manipulates people and sucks them into their world. I need to show it to someone that it's happening to but they can't see it because they believe everything this other person is telling them. Any help would be great ? does anyone know the video I'm talking about ? please help.
The fantasy thing is true, but it's never talked about. The fantasies represent the parts of you that are primal and are being ignored. The issue here is....no matter what you are biological and you have to fulfill these needs no matter what
"Torture each other with politeness for 2 decades"
He was right abt that.. there are many ppl like this, they're friends ,family, lovers n its expected to act with politeness even when they deserved fist in the face! Sigmund F. would say culture only masks all the crimes that people committed.
These old lectures are the best
Yup
Speaking the truth is a great way to lose all your friends.
Then they weren't really your friends to begin with.
You don't need to tell all truths at the same time, some things need their right circumstance and the appropriate logic to force certain statements. Nevertheless, there are many ways to tell the truth, you can make people intuite that you are not trying to hurt but to build upon some bigger interest your friend needs to look out for.
@@unseen9404 Friendship doesn't exist. We, like the animals, form coalitions in order to achieve common goals. Nothing more, nothing less.
Jordan Peterson makes the distinction between white lies and black truths
I wouldn't so much as say that it is losing friends, its more realizing who truly cared in the first place.
Bottomline: Speak the truth or at least don't lie.
Ain't that the truth :)
Buy His book. Attend His lectures. Enrol in His university course.
@@steven5054 While one is free to do what you say, most importantly he should avoid people like you.
I have always felt the way Jordan explains things. It's refreshing to know that I am a pretty healthy individual despite having been emotionally and physiologically abused all of my life.
Thank you for pointing out my failures. Just letting me know the words to be able to communicate what I have been thinking. Truely another perfectly hand crafted keystone. Rebuilding my castle with better skills this time. You have made me undoubtedly a better man, husband, father. ALL community interaction has been hard after the military. Trying to understand and dealing with civilian life with mental and physical pain is different and not the same as before the military for me to deal with. "I think any man or woman willing to sacrifice themselves to help others that are truly oppressed" that it changes perspective good or bad. Knowlege is absorbed in that time you spent. Then it's a matter of digesting that information and what you can handle. Giving young men and women knowledge is key to help everyone be the best version of themselves. We all have so much more to gain working together. Thank you Mr. Peterson!
Nah I think a lot of people pretend like they didn’t make that choice when in reality they knew exactly what they were doing,”forgetting” is just something you do so you can play along with your own game but whatever
Forgetting is what you do out of ignorant loyalty to a friend so as the doc would say just being agreeable cuz u feel like omg imma lose my friend and be alone... an old man told me one time in Wal mart... son u know the only thing worse than being alone I giggled and said no sir he said wishing u was... dropped that knowledge on me I’ve never forgotten it and have never seen the msn again, but he helped me get past an obstacle
Could listen to you, Dr. Petersen, all day long. So very interesting. So very good presented. Thank you.
1:37 case against avoidance/repression/ignoring of parts of who you are is a case for speaking/living your truth:
Repression is denying yourself / lying to yourself / not speaking/acting on the truth/feelings/opinions/thoughts that your ideal self would speak, that you would speak if you realized you were mortal and were going to die soon, that you would speak if you weren't held back by fear of rejection/embarrassment.
If you repress you might as well not be living, what’s the point of living if you’re not gonna live.
1:44, 2:04 the plant will grow anyway, you can choose to let it grow in a healthy way by letting it be free/open (by not hiding it’s expression and shielding it from exposure/practice/action). Or you can hide it, shield it (repress it) but it will still come out (be expressed) and grow but in an unhealthy/unfavorable manner.
Instead of repressing/avoiding and having those feelings express for you anyway in an unhealthy manner (being a slave to your flesh),
be free, by not denying yourself (lying to yourself), by practicing expressing your truth/feelings/thoughts in a healthy manner when they come up.
(How to know your truth/feelings/thoughts: what you’d say/do if you knew you were going to die, what your ideal self would say/do).
In the first two minutes he was able to break down and explain why and how personality disordered individuals split their psyche
There's a lot to unpack in here.
Exactly my thought
Rationalization is the nuclear warhead of defense mechanisms.
my gf is big on that and projection. at what point do you call 'em out, though? ya know
@@herculesbrofister265 It is just that your gf is female. This means you have to shame her every time for it.
@@herculesbrofister265 It's a complicated problem and you won't find a straightforward solution from anyone. What I've learned from old Jordy-boy here is that, instead of "keeping up the lie" that they have rationalized and fabricated, you take note of that. You don't obsess about it, but you notice it and make a mental note that it's worth thinking about. After you notice them doing the same "wrong" thing again, you call them out on it privately. Yeah there might be a fight, probably will be. Yeah, it might end the relationship. But "from the ashes of the phoenix" will rise something better.
It sounds like I'm weaving a bullshit story, but that's because I don't know the specifics of the relationship, and neither do I know the future of what will happen, but these stories encompass all possible situations that might be true, and that's why they're so powerful and sounds meaningful and "make sense" even if they shouldn't. So it's "true" no matter what happens because it's broad enough, but still specific enough. Maybe your relationship is so strong that it will survive, maybe there won't even be a fight, maybe you'll have the fight of a lifetime, maybe you'll break up, I don't know. But whatever happens, it'll be better because you spoke the truth, burnt off the deadwood and what's left is worth it to take with you in life.
Also, don't throw rocks in glass houses. Clean up your room before you save the world, get your own act together. Then call her out.
Question (please): does anyone have the extended version of Professor Jordan B. Peterson's given class, there are other aspects he hasn't discussed, which am locked-into. Thanks a bunch, Jon
Like to examine and analyze one's thoughts and emotions to come to understand apprehend with your mind ,from the existential point of view.......God bless Professor Jordan Peterson and more power
1:32 had to ask God there for a second
This is unbelievably useful.
That guy really is a performer. He loves it.
A good teacher is a performer.
Intellectualization? Post-modernism springs to mind...
I have a very hard time Not thinking about it! It's not too often that I don't think about something that I did, have done, or what's been done to me. My problem is letting those awful thoughts go.
In retrospect, I did daydream about divorce a couple of years before I ever found the courage to utter the words. We have three children together though, so it wasn’t an easy choice. I also had a deep intuitive voice telling me shit would hit the fan if I asked for a divorce...and boy I wasn’t wrong!! 😥 As someone that walked on eggshells around my father, I was raised to be a people pleaser. I tend to automatically say “yes” when I mean “no”. Three years out of an 18 year relationship I am finally learning what I want and need, finding my voice and learning to express myself and my feelings.
Good for you, you deserve love and respect.
I think I'm about to be right there with you. Or, right behind you. I wish you all the luck in the world!
Face all your fears and come out of it finding your own strength. Let your strength inspire the next person you meet!!
Also, you probably got the house, half of your husband's assets, spousal & child support.
Shit must really have hit the fan for you.
@@AcharyaChanakya108 But you have to understand, all that didn't fix her problem why she wanted divorce in the first place.
7:40 "If you want to be neurotic"... take notes people.
brilliant
His wife voice sounds like Norm McDonald's wife voice. Very nice lecture too.
Explain it to the people at home
Norm is #1
A good example is when a married couple are now well-off, but have a “things-were-better-when-we-were-poor” mentality.
Sometimes things were better when you were poor.
Just live like you're poor while being rich. It's fun.
@@chrisraming2797 Yeah it can be...live way under your income. I.lived on a sailboat for,tenuears the most fun maybe Imevermhad though right now is great too. THe sailboat was used had to be renovated spent more on the reno than the boat which wasn't cheap 45 ft motorsailor. But the lifestyle was cheap anchoring out in foreign countries. Living under my income now,
too in a foreign tropical country so.anotherhappy periodAway from the social,problems in the USA.Themehiners, the willful failures posing as victims , all thatmstupidity does not exist where I am they live for,today mostly and quite happily in many cases and being retired ie out ofmthemacquisitve phase of life I live for,them happiness in each day too...a great way to.live,if you CAN...you do,have to,have some resources though to,do this as a non native though.....not growing my own corn and beans on an inherited milpa.
@@latinaalma1947 don't worry, I let your server know to keep the coladas coming
but...if you think to not think of something then you end up thinking about something
Freud.... - Defense mechanisms.... about Lying - is it conscious or unconsious (at first conscious, later after time passes unconscious)...
And what about compensation?
Can some help me and point me to a video clip from JBP where he explains in very good detail how an alcoholic creates a world for themselves and manipulates people and sucks them into their world. I need to show it to someone that it's happening to but they can't see it because they believe everything this other person is telling them. Any help would be great ? does anyone know the video I'm talking about ? please help.
The fantasy thing is true, but it's never talked about. The fantasies represent the parts of you that are primal and are being ignored. The issue here is....no matter what you are biological and you have to fulfill these needs no matter what
8:08
Dude needs to stop moving the camera. Imma get motion sickness
Rhean Propp he is in a classroom, not posing, just listen instead of looking at the video
Rationalization the politicians best friend .
No..fabrication is their best friend, rationalization stands for ppl with low capacity for responsibility, n for covering their own flaws n crimes.
sublimation?
Integrated personality? Whats that?
It can be shadow mixed with your ,,true self". Being as a whole makes you strong af
To sum it up: don't put potatoes in the cellar ! Got it !
I think i know a dark place you can put them instead.
I feel like he is calling out Lori Gotlieb about her article 😬
Seems I have more Journaling to do
I wonder Jordan feels that not getting married a failure
you can find talks about that in other classes,
.. about man and woman.
Booooooooooooooooooring
I always reply to you with one more o.
brainlet
Jij ja.