Grimbeard - Darkwatch (Xbox) - Review

[@MusicalPixels22]

Sometimes when i my think life is bad i remember that there are people out there who have never heard of Grim Beard. Rip.

[@robrick9361]

Sometimes late at night I call out to Grim Beard, hoping he will come out of a dark corner to fill me with his love.
May Grim Beard come again tonight to embrace me in his steamy breath and musky scent, holding me down with his powerful arms to work wonders inside me.
Grim Beard may then rest his head on my pillow as I prepare him for his next visit to another blessed soul.
I pray that soul is you, for Grim Beard is the lover of all and all he shall mate.

[@pissqueendanniella4688]

GRIMDADDY DOES IT AGAIN 🖤🖤🖤

[@emulation2369]

@@robrick9361 right?

[@Nickyeah]

What sad life that would..

[@jacob_swaggerz]

F

[@jackiemoon7073]

It's cool to see a Supernatural channel branch out into game reviews.

[@pissqueendanniella4688]

This 😹😹😹

[@JanPospisilArt]

Step down imo.

[@RyanHollinger]

Hell yes! Love your content

[@britishmilitaryhistory]

Your content's not too shabby either

[@breeban3388]

YO 2 kings? God this video just keeps getting better

[@kylesunshine2731]

Ryan Hollinger,
Not sure why I recognize your name, but I’m going to assume that you’re very famous and wealthy.
And if that’s the case, might I suggest supporting Grim on patreon?
Thanks buddy. He deserves it.

[@Looneyboy]

We have to gatekeep this.

[@Gruntvc]

Play the games too mate. Lots of great and forgotten horror games from that time.

[@BoulderPunch]

Goth gamers rise up.

[@MatheOliveira]

Hey, I'm glad you're here as well. I really like your content!

[@RetroDeathReviews666]

Goth 🕷gamer🕸nation🐈‍⬛

[@johnivanoplimo5172]

Rise!

[@judsongaiden9878]

@@johnivanoplimo5172 "Mass prediction! Unification! Breathing life into our lungs! Every creed and every kind to give us depth for strength!" ~Phil Anselmo

[@electricbayonet2]

FUN FACT: The guy with that laundry list of awful 1-star reviews? Not only do almost all his reviews have the 'verified purchase' tag, but his first review was in 2013 and his most recent one was just over a month ago. Imagine being like that for seven continuous years.
EXTRA FUN FACT: There are a couple games he gave 2-star reviews. He is still so negative in his description that I think he just misclicked the rating. He has _dozens_ of uniquely worded 1-star reviews.
EXTRA-EXTRA FUN FACT: The only exceptions to this rule are three games. They are as follows, including the review:
Looney Tunes: Acme Arsenal. 4-stars. "plays better than the wii version i guess ps2 even beats the wii"
Animal Crossing: City Folk. 4-stars. "the only game i played on wii that works"
Spongebob Squarepants: The Battle for Bikini Bottom. 5-stars. "better the planktons crappy robot revenge on the ps3" (side note: he gave the referenced game 1-star)
I have no idea what to think of this man.

[@dissuede6949]

We have discovered a hidden internet goldmine. I am so intrigued. The dedication..
Amazing.
What a legend.

[@fuzzydunlop7928]

My immediate take is that he suffers from some kind of developmental or cognitive impairment, it’s either that or a personal inside joke that’s taken seven years to land.

[@TripleAlfafa]

@@fuzzydunlop7928 Developmental, most certainly. The sort that people find hard to be polite about.

[@electricbayonet2]

@@fuzzydunlop7928 I have no idea. He's a verified purchaser of these games, some of which were newly-released AAA games, so it's not like this is some penny-ante trolling. There's such a persistent line of criticism, too. It's the fact that it continues for almost a decade that alarms me. Even if it was legitimately an inside joke, I can't fathom the kind of mind that would create something like this. It feels too general to be a personal joke between good friends.

[@jtinkerton2547]

My two guesses were:
-Kid - may be disproven by the fact they're verified purchases and it's been going on for that long; any kid would grow out of it and acquire a more decent vocabulary over that time
-Elderly - these darn newfangled vidyagames are too damn hard to play and every single game is crap
Or it's all just a big meme. Or something else entirely. Who knows.
Edit: ...actually, going through it again, these seem like weirdly specific picks. They're kid friendly and they're big brand names - like the person was into other media related to the brand and that's why they put *these* games on a pedestal. It sounds like kid logic, which is probably why that was my first pick (aside from the grammar). It may very well be someone with an actual condition.

[@6thsavage]

It’s only been weeks since I found this channel, but my partner no longer remembers life before I started proclaiming something about a Goth Gamer Nation.

[@DeltaAssaultGaming]

Your business partner?

[@6thsavage]

@@DeltaAssaultGaming Salsa*

[@morgantrias3103]

Mood

[@DarlingMissDarling]

@@DeltaAssaultGaming Professional Beach Volleyball*

[@ChristopherSadlowski]

What life before the Goth Gamer Nation? That's...that's not a thing. It's been this way always.

[@MissingDataNull]

Fitting for a Grim Beard video to drop in the middle of the night.

[@nocomment3294]

yes i would like to join the discussion

[@paulkacinari2382]

Yes
Just in time to keep me occupied while I'm unable to sleep
Thanks grimbeard

[@zimNvgcatsfan]

Exactly this. I wish I had the willpower to watch it in the morning. Who needs rest anyway?

[@augustvalek]

"Just keep on looking at it", hahaha that had me in tears, that's the kind of stuff that made me subscribe

[@andrzejlewandowski9203]

Watching your videos makes me forget how shitty I feel on a daily basis, that's precious. Thank you, Grim One.

[@ouroldhouse3674]

Cry laughing at that non-punctuating reviewer. Thank you Grim Beard, I needed that.

[@1r0zz]

Now that you call him a "non-punctuating reviewer" I realized something!
It's that critic that "reviews" games in zero punctuation
The quality of criticism is the same...

[@nathane5287]

My new dream: To have one (or more) of my shitty steam reviews picked apart by Grimbeard one day.

[@adamwest8711]

Jump on discord, check out the game list and go nuts.

[@madmorgo6233]

@@adamwest8711 oh??

[@adamwest8711]

@@madmorgo6233 he puts up lists of what games he’s going to review next. Normally with some voting to decide which one next. If you know which game, you can go do dumb reviews on steam if that’s your dream. I mean, it’s not for me but I’ll happily help a guy achieve his goals if I can.

[@smrenshaw]

All this Grim content is making this year bearable. Why doesn't he have more subscribers?!

[@aaronmarko]

Because you're NOT LIKING, SHARING AND SUBSCRIBING ENOUGH.

[@zhhsshhhd5949]

TRY HARDER.

[@westlane0926]

partially because talking about old games that pre- to early teens havent heard about isnt that marketable id wager.
and the awesome occult and gothic kind of vibe probably doesnt fly in a lot of algorythmic recommendations.
who knows

[@TayTayMakesBeats]

@@westlane0926 Grim Ghoul is more than depressed enough to make it big with the zoomers. The problem is that he drip-feeds us arcane knowledge that a certain powerful group of people 🔺 don't want us to learn.

[@josephmatthews7698]

Shhh! He's ours! And ours ALONE! We need to gatekeep harder he's almost at 100k! Do you WANT NORMIES AND LAMERS? Because that is how you get normies and lamers!

[@effigytormented]

That was the best exit statement, "Or you get NO game!" I felt that for some reason.

[@monkee4245]

hey my husband and I have been binging your videos lately, great content man we really love it and appreciate the amount of work you put into your videos!

[@viliussmproductions]

That Depressive Euro Disco album is pretty sick. I've been making a playlist of dark covers of these sorts of nostalgic Eurodisco hits on spotify and these fit right in. "Boys boys boys" especially is a banger, though that's no surprise.

[@alsomirgefaellts]

and he even covered something from blue system! style points :D

[@Cromachy]

Man, your videos feel like warm cup of cocoa on a rainy evening. You've became my comfort tube.

[@junibug6790]

Woof, that comic book's dialogue, though.
Writer 1: "This is how women talk, right?"
Writer 2: "How the hell should I know?!"

[@lucascoval828]

The best dialogue.

[@DancerVeiled]

Ah yes, damned to the call of duty mines. A fate of many studios.

[@outsider344]

I like the part where grim "mice and men"s the audience for it's musical taste.

[@Ovog95]

I really love when you cover these gothic style games, I don't know what it is, but it kinds of gets me nostalgic.

[@storyteller8772]

The whole scene from 12:25 made me chuckle. "Oh no! RUclips is going to get me again!" that feels oddly relatable and i ain't even really a youtuber.

[@crispnhollow7300]

Mandalore is one of your patreons? interesting.
Anywho, enjoyed the review, keep at it.

[@jtinkerton2547]

There seems to be a lot of crossover of Patrons between various gaming channels. It's not even surprising to see a Minimme video bankrolled by Raycevick, who himself is sponsored by LHudson, who gets some change from Mandalore's pocket, etc. I keep wondering if any of them actually make money or if they all just pass it along like a blunt.

[@JewTube001]

they all support eachother. whats interesting are the ones who dont

[@forcefed333]

grimperson is good for rewatches, I enjoy contextual and anecdotal inclusions

[@NefariousKoel]

Lumping the Constantine movie in with the Van Helsing movie?
You brute!

[@adamwest8711]

You know, I thought the same thing. I really enjoyed Constantine.

[@vahlok1426]

"Jericho (...) your personality is 'shoot'" is an amazing line.
Also the shotgun is made even better with the added scythe/axe blade on the grip for melee attacks.

[@Sputnik1]

I remember playing splitscreen Darkwatch on ps2 with my cousin and the fact that the cutscenes changed based on whether or not it's 1 or 2 players was mindblowing to me. It was different characters and all, it was so cool and to this day not many games do that properly

[@Rayuzx]

I'm disliking this video not because I don't like it (it's actually pretty good), but because I will not stand for any slander to "The Duke". It is the best controller I've ever used, and I will fight anyone who says otherwise.

[@pissqueendanniella4688]

*video has exactly 1 dislike*
This tracks 😹😹

[@fuzzydunlop7928]

I’m willing to hear your defense of it.

[@thecstineman]

Love your stuff grim! Had an awful day, and you always help, especially today! Don't ever let anyone tell you that you aren't amazing. ❤

[@jamesburton4352]

I was gonna go to bed, then you pulled this shit.

[@dexocube]

sleep's overated

[@roopertrooperviolencejack6281]

AAARGHHH

[@SpecShadow]

* insert Al Pacino from Godfather gif here *

[@johnivanoplimo5172]

Grim Beard being a shit puller as usual.

[@sortedevaras]

Don't taunt me with that sexy Breakdown gameplay. I would never mistake that cheeseburger.

[@GrimBeard]

I'd do a video if I could fuckin beat that final fight after solus.

[@sortedevaras]

@@GrimBeard He can be cheesed pretty easy by spamming the slide + uppercut combo.

[@GrimBeard]

@@sortedevaras I've gotten passed him, just not the fight after him where they keep spawning gangs of dudes.

[@johnnybensonitis7853]

Speaking of Breakdown, it'd be great if Grim did a one-off review of the song by Tantric of the same name! It's awful, and doesn't fit the channel at all, and it's mainstream garbage from the early 2000's, but the worst part is the effort of making it for one or less views at the suggestion of a guy like me whose brain operates in a constant state of distraction to the point of forgetting the point of this sentence after typing it. This is nothing to be concerned about, however, when pros far outweigh the cons! Yeah, there are some drawbacks, I'll admit, but rewards always come with risks. Take the joke that is being channel with a dark, gothic type of persona reviewing early 2000's mainstream butt-rock music and stretch it out for about 40 minutes = the recipe for magic!
**TL;DR My brain needed to take a dump. This pandemic is a real hoot, but the lack of human interaction for such lengths of time can cause the mind to start playin' tricks! It's wacky! But yeah, I decided to make a family out of my pancakes. We have a guest named Aunt Jemima over, and she is the sweetest! I better go be a good host now! My goodness, SO much company wheew! **
(Sorry, this coffee gets me excited and very rambly. I'm a morning person, which is evenings for me since I work nights. Woke up 45 mins ago and the coffee has reached my brain, and the result is always me talking too much. In person it's fine, but here there's no one to chime in.....so I'm given free reign to assault the unsuspecting with unrelenting walls of text even The Great Wall Of China eyes with jealousy! ....But yea, I hate wasting peoples time but this goddamn virus has exponentially increased my time spent online. Again, sorry guys lol....the hard pivot must be my brain using the chance to process out the junk now that it's adapted to the lack of human interaction. Before, I was always around people that made healthy communication part of my routine, which directly correlates to the short length of my RUclips comments. After the pandemic it's quite funny how the gradual increase in the length of my comments mirrors the slow expansion of my insanity! Ha! Okay, I'm done, and I can't apologize enough to anyone who read this. I do feel better to an extent, but in doing so I hope not to bring anyone else down in doing so.

[@jacobsoper4708]

That anecdote about Tala being vetoed by the marketing department is very depressing, I must say. In 2000, you had playable female protags in everything from Turok to Delta Force. But then within 2-3 years, female protags were being intentionally removed. The original Unreal had a female protag as a statement against industry sexism. Unreal 2 by another studio replaced her with a male space marine and gave him a breasty female sidekick, because of course they did.

[@grumpyoldwizard]

Thanks Grim! It’s great to have another review by you.

[@tommysteenrod4481]

i need a deep dive of that one guys review history and an analysis of how many meta critic reviews they have skewed over time

[@pissqueendanniella4688]

Check out electricbayonet's comment

[@Jakster840]

Seconding. Grim please.

[@AdriftForWeeks]

That Wiseau on the phone came out of nowhere and made me laugh WAY harder than it should have any right to.

[@Akuma3000GT]

I love the Raw Time Clip at 20:42. I remember it vaguely as a kid, but I couldn't place where I've seen it. 10 min of research later, and all the painful cringe memories from my teens are coming back.

[@kacperkedziera1408]

How is this channel still so unnoticed. It baffles me that he's been pumping high production level content for years and he's still got just 30k subs.
Edit: Ok, I got to 12:30 :D

[@simplyethan]

The fact that you still read all of your patrons' usernames is incredible. I love this channel.

[@dccrux]

Brian David Gilbert and Grimbeard both posted videos today. They both filled me with about the same amount of joy - which is a good amount!
One posted about pickles, which I don't think about very much. I appreciated the surreality though. The other posted about video games, which is a thing that I think about a lot. I also appreciated the expression and impressions of that one.
One of them was about ten times as long as the other. The pickle one got two orders of magnitude more views than the video game one did.
"Process that however you can" indeed.
Anyway. I joined Grim's patreon because of this. This is the only Patreon I've ever joined and I am perverse enough to want this to be the only Patreon I ever join.
Your content is both good and stuff that I like. Thank you!

[@sweeneezy]

I remember really wanting the Jericho Cross halloween costume as a child

[@Iwuznothere]

If its any consolation to High Moon, (ie:none) Darkwatch's genre and art style at least keeps coming back from 2009's Damnation to 2022's Evil West because someone always has the great idea of going "Anyone own Western Vampires/Gothic Western? No? Jump it!"

[@yeez13]

It’s depressing how low the views on the Vid has. For the other Reviews on your channel as well 😔
Seen this review four times and it’s still worth the watch each time like your Condemned 2: Bloodshot was too.
Hopefully [Current Year] is the year it all escalates!

[@HaircombMan]

That intro got me hooked, subbed.

[@DRNGDGMR]

I remember playing this for the first time around the age of 10. It was one of the first games I can actually remember playing other than Fable 1 or Grabbed by the Ghoulies. Ahh, nostalgia.

[@tomservo110]

Holy shit video mods, I have never heard of those but their existence astounds me

[@ethanlove4695]

Please never stop making content! Is that a lot to ask? You made my morning!

[@planescaped]

This is the most original Ecks-bawks game I have ever seen.

[@Zeroharpe]

Westerns + Horror/Fantasy is just about the best thing ever.

[@SqueebPlays]

Wow. I did NOT know that's what happened to Roger Avery.
Thank you for telling me in the best way possible 🤣

[@solikeletsbenerdy]

I just wanted to thank you, dark watch and timesplitters two were a big part of my childhood and even with the jank and what not seeing dark watch get any attention at all just warms my heart

[@NucleaRaptor]

I was stunned you never once compared this to Nocturne.

[@twatareyoudoing]

Wow I was just thinking back to how I used to play this on Xbox original and thought of how fitting it'd be for this channel. If you haven't already reviewed painkiller that games pree gud too

[@Basketball64ful]

Dark and twisted reviews from my favorite psychopath, keep it up king

[@pissqueendanniella4688]

I love your profile pic 😹😹

[@rig-zag]

Damn I loved this game, always wanted more of this genre... Oh, hello Evil West, welcome to 2022.

[@wingusdingus9447]

Holy shit. This channel is a goldmine of bed time content. Subbed

[@ash12181987]

Awesome stuff as always man.

[@gimmeboobes]

Love you wrestling with roll call at the end, Grim. One of the fun parts.

[@skatatataatje]

Woohoo! Making my day a little better. Thanks Grim! Love you

[@xLewleit]

Where's my Supernatural ep5

[@GrimBeard]

soon

[@pissqueendanniella4688]

Give the man time, it must be hard typing with bananas taped to his hands

[@captainsawbones]

I'm Captain Sawbones, and this is my favorite review on Citadel Station.

[@BadGhosts]

Great review as always - this looks like a lot of fun, might have to give it a go sometime down the line

[@bloodrunsclear]

The first trailer was intriguing, showing Dark Watch agents throughout several ages, like proto Assassin’s Creed

[@vintagecapgunsatyourmomshouse]

I've had PS2 Darkwatch on my Android phones for three years (AetherSx2) Its just one of my go to games. So 👍

[@littlebaron5573]

I literally can not get enough of your videos.

[@linklindlink]

Never thought this day would come.

[@Ghostie.]

Grim, Grim , give us the grim! Grim, Grim, we need the Grim!

[@jmarra07]

I've been looking forward to this one! Keep up the good work, and stay on those meds!

[@AbigatorM]

forget the darkwatch review but a video about that guy writing the reviews would be really entertaining. holy shit.

[@hemangchauhan2864]

While I agree with your sentiments on Transformers, trust me when I say Fall of Cybertron is one of those "fun" games that's totally aware its a video game, and you'll feel sad when it gets over.
They were very passionate about the franchise.

[@atabanoel7233]

That melody at 21:20 is solid. Would love to hear more.

[@misterkefir]

I don't know what to write so I get the most likes, so.. I guess I just wanted to say that..
I like dark stuff and I think you're a cool dude Grim. I appreciate all your videos. They're always fun to watch and.. so.. yeah. Thanks.

[@segagirladventurespico]

Just found your channel 😊 I came across this game many times but never looked into it. The art looks cool and I just subscribed 😊

[@poopysanders2286]

Dude I bought this game 2 days ago for the xbox for the first time and you put out a review now lol

[@brittany2975]

Haven't even got thru the video yet, but that breakdown clip took me back real quick

[@TimmehJay]

This was my experience watching this video:
I think I played this game
Wait, no I didn't.
Hold on, I remember that.
Do I really? You sure it was this game?
I remember this absolutely
Hold on, this isn't what I was thinking of
Or is it?
I still don't know but great video as always.

[@jonalen4217]

Oh fuck, that hard cut to "work bitch" nearly made my spit out my tea

[@MrBigmarcus89]

Imma need some 2 hour videos soon. Can't keep playing all your old stuff on repeat until the end of time.

[@palchristianandersen9086]

Finally a video on my favorite video game protagonist Jericho Biblecross.

[@Duskets]

We gonna talk about how some suit at MTV probably saw a Runescape or Habbo Hotel music video and thought to themselves "I need to get into that racket!" before pitching the idea of video mods?

[@logiclb]

It's a good night when there is new Grimbeard to watch. Cheers!

[@mushroomheaification]

Ultraviolet... haven't thought about that movie in years. I loved it but I'm terrified to watch it again. The risk of shattering the rose tinted glasses of nostalgia is too great

[@AldousShitbird]

Love how you structured your videos are.

[@jqmichael13]

I hope that one star guy has a RUclips channel, I would watch the hell out of it

[@rileyderingor1548]

That spoiler break is BASED

[@PunkerWithABoner]

Self Control at the end ? Fuck yeah Grimmy !!!!!!!!

[@kylesunshine2731]

2:06
“There’s a snake in my boot!” - cow boy doll

[@LazyCB]

Hunter The Reckoning on the game cube seems down your alley

[@RAAAAAAHHHHHhh]

I seriously haven't heard of this game. I've been living under a rock!! For like, 20 years!!!

[@joelnelsonc8775]

Just wanted to say I love your game review videos, you deserve more subs, and I use your videos as sleep aids (which is a complement).

[@BoneMachine1443]

I've got fond memories of playing this co-op with my brother on the PS2 way way back in the day. Embarrassingly mid 2000s game, but neat art direction, and it was fun how all the guns had different melee attacks. Who doesn't wanna be a double-jumping vampire with a rocket launcher?

[@soraskingdom2388]

I always lose it when Grim randomly goes in on that guy with all the 1 star amazon reviews lmao

[@abyss9316]

SILVER BULLET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for covering this obscure vampire Western first person shooter thing

[@Nilnot]

I’m really sorry, Grim. This isn’t a Supernatural video, and is thus worthy of my scorn

[@zm1055]

God, i love Tiffy.....

[@kidpresentable]

Tiffy from Raw Time making a guest appearance

[@yuukicyan]

28:21 well this took a turn: nice rapping Grim!

[@lmaonoyou465]

ah yes I've been fiending for this. Time to inject it directly into my veins

[@julien2983]

I played through the campaign in coop with a friend back on high school, we loved this game!

[@fuzzydunlop7928]

Had to learn more about Silent Hill movie man’s manslaughter, found this gem: “ On September 29, 2009, he was sentenced to one year in work furlough (allowing him to go to his job during the day and then report back to the furlough facility at night) and five years of probation.However, after making several tweets about the conditions of his stay on Twitter, Avary was sent to Ventura County Jail to serve out the remainder of his term.
Also, he apparently co-wrote Pulp Fiction with Tarantino which is kinda high-speed stuff, really curious how that division of labor went down and who wrote what exactly.

[@samothy6118]

Grim treating us very nice with midnight drops 🙏😌