Your Mind After Being Dumped
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- Опубликовано: 24 июл 2024
- Coach Lee explains what you go through after a breakup and while you are using the No Contact Rule. This is why breakups are so difficult and why most people do the wrong things that hurt their chances of getting their ex back, but with Coach Lee, you have a much better chance of getting back together with your boyfriend, girlfriend, or separated spouse.
Get more information on Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit at myexbackcoach.com/emergency-b...
Get more information on Coach Lee's Emergency Marriage Kit at myexbackcoach.com/emergency-m...
If you benefited from this video, you can leave Coach Lee a tip at myexbackcoach.com/tip-jar/
VIDEOS mentioned in this one:
Overcoming Anxiety After A Breakup: • How To Deal With Anxie...
What Is Limerence? • What Is Limerence?
Stages Your Ex Goes Through During No Contact: • Stages Ex Goes Through...
What Is Your Ex Thinking During No Contact? • What Your Ex Is Thinki...
If you benefited from this video, you can leave Coach Lee a tip at myexbackcoach.com/tip-jar/
SUBSCRIBE to Coach Lee's channel so that you can be notified when he has more videos on relationship dynamics, mindfulness, marriage, and breakups by clicking this link: ruclips.net/user/myexbackcoach?ap...
If you're looking for a sign that everything will be okay, this is it! XoXo
Thank you!
Thank you!
Thank you hun
I hope so as my heart feels like its broken
Thanks guys
Whoever Coach Lee is dating won’t stand a chance if they dump him. He’s an expert of No Contact!!
I'm getting good at it too... lol
🤣🤣🤣
Lol they wouldn't have a pray 😂
😂😂😂😂
Me too! Going on 45 days of NC!! It feels far behind me at this point. I love the feeling of peace and just being at baseline! No crazy lows or highs.
My breakup was heart wrenching for me. I think I cried for a week straight and many periodic episodes after that. You also need to delete all triggers like photos, texts and emails if you really want to move on. Out of sight, out of mind!
I'm back with my ex. A month of no contact, and he unblocked me and I reached out. We spoke and both agreed that the time apart was needed as we've both discovered where the issues were. Thank you coach Lee x
How long were you two together before break up?
@@cidajohnny2938 stop posting Nigerian number as I am a Nigerian and I can clearly tell you are here for no good. You are a disgrace
So happy for you 😭
How long where you together before the break up?
When I broke up with my ex after a 5 year engagement, I was broken 💔 hearted. I had to leave him FOREVER bcse after 5 years, I wondered WHY he was mean, bossy, greedy, future faking me , and the list goes on. I was in the Hospital, but I made it. He ended up being a narcissist, and I never knew what that was. I went into Therapy and read self help books. I found 2 videos on this by Coach Lee, and I was floored! My ex showed every single trait. The problem was, I still loved him for approx 2 years. TIME healed me along with my Therapy, Coach Lee's videos, plus I have 2 rooms I attend daily. I thank God I'm over him, and I met all you beautiful people...❤️❤️
The tables do turn after a good amount of time passed.
3 to 6 months?
@Tasarah Wolf hiiiiii
Give it six months, maybe sooner. Time is a healer, you’re not even going to care after a while.
@Tasarah Wolf you’re asking the wrong person lmao
I just wish I knew how much time that is.
I was loyal and good to her for 3 solid years. We were house shopping the week she dumped me. It's been almost 3 months now. I'm working on myself. All I know is how much I hurt and I did nothing to deserve this.
Nicolas Rodriguez damn.
Yeah. But I'm moving forward on our plans without her. Moving in with my kids and getting my house on the market asap. Whatever happens next, happens.
I promise it will get better.
Your kids should come before anyone.
Especially some woman who is not even blood to you who just dumped you for no reason.
Time to grab your 🏀⚾️'s
I feel your pain, I am exactly in your situation. She dumped me in March for really no reason. Till now I wish I can know the reason. She dumped me because she feel that we are not compatible, however we have been in a relationship for 5 years. She knows everything about me, suddenly now we are not compatible. My pain continue going. I wish you all the best bro, and I hope you will get her back.
Been right at almost 3 months on May 3, NC. I’m now realizing and took a couple months to see the light how much I didn’t deserve his games and being the one that seemed like the chaser. No more. After crying and being so tempted to text first like he always expected I would, honestly, I don’t even want to contact him anymore and don’t want him contacting me either. He lost a great thing. His loss. Free will. Use you free will people, it will make you stronger just as the coach says here. 🌈
Ricardo Martins Well, I was dealing with a highly prideful person that even if it was just an argument that we had he’d never be the first one to contact first or give in. He’d always be happy that I text first but would never do so first himself. Egotistical and childish is what I was dealing with. Probably narcissistic. We were very close, had magnetic attraction and love for one another which we both admitted we never had that type closeness with anyone else. But, he’s let his ego and silly pride get in the way one too many times just as this one. If ego and stubbornness are more important to him then our connection than I don’t want to be with anyone like that. Good luck to you but my advice would be to stay in NC especially if you had a long relationship of years or more. We had 2 1/2 years.
@@Cinder1987 same date
@@Cinder1987 Update?
@urthebest1122 update?
I have been watching for 6 months now.
I still have a fire in my heart. Anger over being abadoned. But Coach Lee makes the fire hurt a bit less. I know one day things are going to be ok. But OK has its own meaning and it does not necessarily mean I will get my wife back. These videos make me calm down a lot. Thank You Coach Lee, for being the voice of reason in my time of despair.
Update?
I felt that sense of being abandoned by my spouse, especially after a 10+ year relationship & 2 kids. About 10 months now separated & coparenting. Strategic contact but she craves intimacy especially when she came on hard times. Definitely miss the relationship but it doesn’t hurt like it did anymore.
Made some big changes for me: cut my long hair, got my ears pierced & even got a neck & rib tat. Other than time Coach lee, Kevin S & Darius M were the 3 best channel for elevating my mindset.
@@JD_BigBLANKETS sometimes I wish I had children with my wife. But Then I feel glad I didnt. I am divorced now. Its hell for kids, i can tell because my parents got divorced when I was three.
My ex, was a narcissistic cheater.
6 months? Let it go
One day at a time! You're doing great! ⚘️
It's crazy how we feel so surprised - and we do. Because in hindsight, sometimes months later, it's so obvious it was coming. Back then I sure wished I knew what Coach Lee teaches. As men, we tend to want to work on solutions, while we need to back away, drastically.
My girlfriend broke up with me 6 months ago after 6 year relationship. I wanted to marry her. I have never in my life experience such pain . After 1 week she enter in a new relationship with another guy . He moved to her place after 3 weeks and they are still together . I watched a lot of this videos , helped a lot with loneliness and depression that came with the break up . In my case no contact didn’t work .. I waited a lot . The good news is that I don’t want her back anymore . For those of you who just broke up , follow the advice with no contact , it’s your best chance . It could work for you but don’t keep hopes so high , because it’s going to take longer to heal the pain this way . Good luck to all of you !!
How do you feel now?
There are so many so called "breakup coaches" on youtube with hundreds of videos on their channel that give garbage advice or just try to sell their scammy program or book. Meanwhile coach Lee is just giving away real, practical, effective advice for FREE.
When somebody tells you they want to break up, let them go. You’re not responsible for their poor judgement and terrible life choices. Look in the mirror, you know that you’re not the one who’s broken. Know your value. And should they come sniffing around you again, tell them to move on.
Nice words, buddy. Brought me a different POV. Thank you!
really liked this comment
Whoops. Looks like you dropped this... 👑
🙌🏻🙌🏻
Thank you for your encouragement! I broke up w him after 7 yrs due to repeated cheating. I'm the dumper, i had no other choice. It hurts. When i listen to your advice it helps ease the depression for a moment. Thank you so much!
A few months ago I was extremely down and depressed based on a break up that I was blindsided by. After watching videos by coach Lee I can honestly say the tables do turn with time and patience. Work on becoming a better version of yourself and Stay strong folks. If that person really cared they will reach out but focus on yourself and reflect on if the relationship was worth the energy your exerting. Relationship ended early Jan 2020 and I have been getting random messages after no contact and I have not overreacted with excitement because I now know my worth and am in a much better place where I'll provide a short simple response and go about my life. This stuff really works guys
All I have to say is coach lee your the best. I listened to your videos. I ended up getting so much better and feeling like i was becomming me again.. I started moving on and making things happen in my life and 4 months later.. She showed back up and apologized and i never thought that would happen. I was moving on and just being happy and not worrying about it and she came back. Thats what we all need to do.
Actually I don't want him back. His ghosting and emotional unavailability was frustrating even though we had intense physical chemistry. Love just wasn't enough especially when he didn't truly cherish or value me.
Amen sister,sounds like my ex,love don't live here anymore.
mi fa so la His loss. I can relate to exactly what you typed. I will say this. These people that mess with our heart in this manner will get it back eventually. I’ve seen it myself from my own past experiences. Not that we control karma or wish anything to happen to them but believe me - they pay.
THIS. I hear you girl!
That's so sad 😭😭😭
Same thing with my ex girlfriend. We had great moments, specially physically, but the lack of commitment in the tough moments and unavailabillity when I needed her when having to deal with big decisions was always something I should've look sooner. She eventually left me for another guy out of nowhere. The week before everything was usual, even had plans for the rest of the year, but yeah. She changed her job, met the guy and now she's with him. Didn't even explain to me the details, she cried when she broke up with me, but after that we barely spoke again.
Best coach on the web - period. Thank you so much for all these words of wisdom in a time of great sadness.
Each case is different. Sometimes they wanted to use you as a temporary escape and never intended on being with you in the future. Some people are deceptive and will use you without any regard for your well being.
I lost hope of getting him back and I know I'm better of without him but I just like listening to Coach Lee so much. Mainly because his videos helped me push through the hardest times :)
Sometimes when you lose, you are winning. Thanks Coach Lee, when no one was there, I have watched all your videos, feeling that I don't have to ask the questions anymore because You already said it.
Your videos have been my only path to peace..as much as is possible anyway. Had I not stumbled on these videos I surely would've lost my mind. Thank you so so much for your dedication to your personal calling. You've softened the blow for all of us.
Coach lee was sent from God
That part of limerence brought me clarity. I couldn't understand why, after a few months, I suddenly felt that I was going through the break up again. Thank you for your videos...they honestly helped me get through the break up and move on.
I wanted to say that you have a wonderful ability to understand how people are feeling and touching on the loss that people experience so accurately is an amazing comfort. I've been on and off with the man I love, it's so easy to lose that position of power when you want so desperately to fix a relationship and the panic and loss of rejection set in. You've helped me so much with your videos and I feel gratitude that you've helped with the pain. I know you've made a difference in people's lives and must have helped many. It's so important the way you speak to the camera as if you are speaking to each person directly. Thanks so much for making these videos and doing what you do. Michaela
Thank you Coach...This is amazing. I'm still going through these things. Thank you for helping us make sense of the loss. You are the man.
LieutenantCaine9 how long has it been
Thank you Coach Lee for always being the voice of reason. Absence does make their ❤ grow fonder. Smart contact works as well. Keep the convo light when they reach out. After 4 months apart, limited contact & his temporary long distance due to work, he's asked if it's possible to start fresh upon his return. We shall see what the future holds... at 45 and 51, I also believe covid-19 has brought some crucial things back into perspective! Keep up the great work!
Thank you, Coach Lee! Out of all the relationship coaches on RUclips you are by far my favorite. I don't think that I will get my ex back, I screwed up by letting her know that I love her. I went into no contact and it became smart contact until last night. Guys do not drink during this time, it weakens you. You should make a video about how to handle no contact if you owe your ex money because this was my weakness. It forced me to be in contact with her and while I tried to limit the contact to strictly business. It created a situation where after drinking I reached out to her and said all of the wrong things. At this point I am watching your videos not to get her back but to ensure that I never do those things again with a future relationship.
Coach Lee! I'm relatively new to your channel but have watched a considerable number of your videos. Thanks for your work.., it is outstanding!! I took the quiz and came out relatively high just because there were not enough questions to grasp the long history of my relationship and the mistakes I have made. Thus, I have committed to purchasing your EBK very soon because following you has convinced me that I still have a shot at salvaging our relationship and that even coming from a very difficult position I feel I can still win her back! Thanks!!
Thank you for making these videos! They boost my mood and give me the power to continue in the process of healing when I am at the bottom.
Could you please make a video explaining further the topic of going on and off all the time (when the 'off' is always coming from the same person), and what it means if the ex is reaching out several times during the NC period, but he only wants to hang out, not necessarily get back together?
He said they would have to have dementia to forget you 😂😂😂 he cracks me up
And he says it so deadpan!! 😅
Once dumped I will never accept the dumper back in my life... No contact is good healer to move on...
Hey Coach Lee, you’re great! Last 3 months I used your advice and expertise. Learned a lot about using my own power to stay strong and stay NC! 😁
listen to this guy yalls. NO CONTACT. the anxiety video and this video are so helpful. i feel abit better eventho theres no possibility to gain my ex back. but i found another side of me i never knew i had. thank you coach lee.
Any updates? Xx
Coach Lee. You're helping me so much right now it's unbelievable.. All your videos.. Some of the titles put my mind in a State of worry then I think of what youve said before.. I click and listen.. Even if it's not what I wanna hear., youre helping me get through it all.. Thank very much for being a guide
I realize that if I work hard on school or work, it usually turns out well. But with relationship, you just cannot work too hard to talk & attract this person. You can work hard to keep it light-weighted and cool, but you can't work hard to overthink about it and express your emotions and press the other person into liking you. No matter what type of relationship it is.
It’s been one month since my long distance relationship break up and I listen to Coach Lee every single day. I was the dumpee and it hurts so bad. But as time passes, I believe I’ll feel better. Thank you Coach Lee for putting out these wonderful contents, your wisdom is my strength to keep moving forward and through this journey. ❤️
Would it be possible for you to expand on the topic of "getting on and off" a relationship and what are the positives and negatives of getting back with your ex several times (if it's the case)... in a new video? Thanks for all you do!
Giovanni Andrea I’m interested in this also
Hope you can elaborate more on this topic of "on and off" relationship and is it good to go back to your ex if she's the one who wanted the break.
Yeah I would like for him to discuss these issues and elaborate I'm getting back with someone who tends to break up with you on and off off are they worth taking back or walk away
id love a video about this! forst breakup i did all the right things got her back in 2 months she was stating how regretful she was for breaking up.. a month later dumps me again says ita definitive this time and i did the wrong things of overpursuing.. however when i finally got her on the phone and her anger subsided she sobbed and told me she still misses and loves me but that we need time apart without contact. I wonder if theres a 3rd chance specially after my neediness the 2nd time
I’ve benefited a lot from your wisdom. Thank you so much coach!
it’s been around a month since the breakup and nc, still hurts very much. but i hope everything goes well. stay strong during this pandemic guys, we’re in this together
Thank you coach listening to you is always helpful for my prosess, almost 5 months going no contact.
Greetings from Mexico
Thank you Coach Lee. I just discovered your channel here and I think it is quite helpful, so far. I look forward to watching more of your videos and hopefully learning how to get over the one who dumped me, and move on.. ♥️✌️
Thank you King Coach Lee, this is exactly what I experienced. 😘
9:43 thank you for talking about that. It’s what I’ve been worried about for a while. Thank you so much for this video! Much needed. ❤️
I really needed this video today, thank for your videos coach lee 🙏🏽, you’re the best !
Thank you Coach Lee for great videos on this topic.
I haven't even watched it yet but I know it is helpful!! Your videos helped me tremendously after i was dumped last November. I listened to them all the time for weeks! We are in contact again, though I am not sure if I still want him. Thank you Lee 💛
There is power in being dumped , misery that follows after a break-up of a solid relationship doesn't make us see that power as Coach Lee said 'loss of control', but I have been constantly working on Coach Lee's advice ex showed up and ghosted me again......but now after 5months I re-visit all thoughts and now I am OK with not having his name show up on the phone or texts, now I have moved on from I do anything for you to I'll have to see if I need this in life....talk about tables turning.... I still think of him non-stop like leached on to my soul by default programming which makes me literally immobile for short while, but Iam glad to be alive and working on things I ignored before. Thank you Coach Lee, your words are music to my deaf (saddened) ears.
Hi Coach Lee been a great fun for a while you have actually made me more confident and regain my self respect. Kindly do a video of "Being dumped because of family pressure and disapproval of a relationship and how we should go about it or give up on it"
I was feeling anxiety until i watched this Video. You are a great Person, Coach
This video broke me… In a good way. I needed to hear some harsh truths. Love coach Lee.
I want him back but also don't want it. Because how he dumped me and gave me all the pain, if he really trully love me he wouldn't hurt me. If somebody gone, they're gone for good. Thanks coach Lee, you are helping me so much. I'm here and feeling so far better thanks to you. I was in really worst situation before, lost weight and couldn't sleep for days. You're my hero!🤗
@@axelbriggjern3534 Exaclty that feeling. I've been sleepless and need to take few medicine for it, sleeping medicine and depression medicine. But otherwise I believe I can get through it. I guess no contact purpose is for learning how to believe to our self more than other people (in this case is my ex) 🙂
Its better To move on while recovering
if she go back
it depends on you
but if she didn't
its not that painful anymore
coach. Your principles work like a charm. It took patience, faith, and discipline, but after no contact, following your breakup kit, she is now literally crawling back, and even offered to do things that she was defiant about in the past. Therapy, for instance. The only problem is... I
Think Im over her
I keep having dreams with them. In all those dreams they’re doing something to disappoint me... reminded me of my fears in the relationship that actually somewhat happened...can you do a video about dreams ?
Yep....having the same dreams.....always at the end of the dream she leaves me
So agree
Had these anxiety dreams with an ex years ago. I was trying to find her in my dreams. And when I found her, she was always trying to avoid me. Week later, she told me "I don't think it's going to work ". And we broke up.
You are Godsend Coach Lee 🙏💫🎇
New vid just when I needed it. Thanks coach!
I wish I never met my ex
Every time I look in to your eyes, I cant stop thinking, that you are an "angel". Another being who give me those vibes are Lana del ray. A beautiful human inside and out.
I was really waiting for these anwers ..THANKS A LOT!!!
You are a hero! 💐👏🏻 thanks for keeping people strong and felt understood! This is what i needed most! I am motivated and able to move on with your consistent videos and repetated warnings. Thanks a lot for making me feel powerfull and showing me a clear explanation of what is happening! Priceless! And please there might be an other way of reaching your kits then paypal system. I would like to learn more about what is happening in my life and have your emergency and marriage help kits in some way. I believe that what you are telling is more then relationship. It is human nature and is very interesting of your point of view. Congrats for everything you have done for others. 💐👏🏻
Love these vid helped me alot Im into my 8th month of no contact best thing i ever done it helps u get over it much easier.
Hi Coach Lee. I have been in NC for about a week and a half and still no contact from her. She broke up with me due to distance and her family’s opinion of me. We were dating for 4 years and we always just powered through it. However, she always had that little voice in the back of her head making her unsure...and here we are. Broken up. I really enjoyed this video because it definitely covers everything I am feeling right now, so thank you! In the future, I would love to see a more in depth opinion of long distance relationships where the two can’t be in the same area at the present time or how to deal with “the in-laws” and their opinions
My mind is in absolute bits :/ so overwhelmed!
Thank you for your wisdom. I've been on a 4 year rollercoaster ride. He breaks it off & then wants back together. This quarantine & long distance relationship I'm ready to move to a warmer climate and live independent. The lack on stability and indecisive lack of plans I prefer to live on a tight budget alone. I don't have any biological relatives nor kids. Each time he breaks 💔 it off I'm loosing the connection.
Will relisten to this. Told him I'm moving back to where the military had me stationed, assumes I'm seeing someone else. Moving 1200 miles to better climate & large city where I thrived as a single person for a decade. I was happy there alone plenty to do.
Mine was 6 years on and off, looking to relocate as soon as I sell my house. Need a change of scenery too. Been in NC for 4 days, just can't do this back and forth anymore. You are correct, better to be alone then waiting for another disappointing "get back together".
I'm 46 years old, and I have my career figured out, a nice house, a good relationship with my family and my faith... but I just lost someone who I had been with 14 months, I asked her to be my wife, but I was not ENOUGH for her. It sucks. She already has a new person in her life, I feel like I've been replaced already.
Please open up the phone lines Coach Lee! We need to talk
"Unless your ex has dementia..." 🤣 that gave me a belly laugh that kicked anxiety right out of my belly, albeit just for 10 mins! 🤷♀️
I trust you coach lee, that’s everything o want to say.
Coach Lee just first want to say your my favorite coach on RUclips.
I didn't doubt the no contact rule at first cause it was working for me. He was reaching out and here alot lately but, We been broken up for 2 months after a 7 year relationship and he left me for someone else. I feel he reaches out and calls me because his using me to make him feel better from his relationship with her. I feel she is a priority and now I'm the side chic. Im not going to continue to boost his ego when he's down that's not fair to me, I have feelings, which he over looks. It's like I except how all this played out and he can have the two of us. I'm done with the NC rule and ignoring him all together. I came to the conclusion I don't want him back.
It's been 8 excruciating mos and still haven't got my ex back lol
Ty coach Lee.i do watch your videos over again and it has gotten me through many days and nights. I have writen you a few times and have gotten a responce from you or a team memeber. I an still in N C . After 3 and half years togeather and it has hit me hard. We are in our sixties i thought is was a good relationship but he had issues.which i exceped. Its been a month and and half since he broke it up. Ty coach for all your help .hope i can hold off for reaching out before him. Ty 😢
Got dumped by my ex for the second time. I did NC for 30 days, had some small talk twice within 2 months after NC and then I texted him asking if he wanted to get ice cream and I had planned to establish a platonic friendship with him but he never texted back. Back to NC I go as I did it before for 8 months
two months ... My ex broke up with me in March. Still waiting her. Every day my love for her is increasing. Still waiting her and I think I will never be able to love anyone else!
Stay strong. I felt the same way. You get attached and you feel like they are the only one. But time passes and youll start to realize they arent the only one and they will realize you are their only one. After 3months she contacted me and we are slowly talking again. Shes feeling me out to see if im still interested. I want her back but at the same time im started to like this other girl. I worked on myself more physically now im attracting alot of girls. So i have many choices and my ex gonna have to compete for me now
@@supahotfire655 I am glad for you bro! She was very harsh, after 5 years she completely eliminated me from her life. In one week she finished everything. Blocked me and unfriend me everywhere, without a real reason. All excuses, she discovered after 5 years that we are incompatible! She kept me 5 years, she knew everything about me. After 5 years she discovered that we are not compatible! that is killing me. I hope she will come back one day. It has been 2 months! Thanks bro and all the best.
@@chevy2583 same. 7 years. We are young couple 18-25, even before i met her she didnt have any friends. I did but i lost them, bcs she didnt want that i go out with them instead od her. She gained some weight. Now after 7 years, she gets the need to go out with her friends, that she was neglecting herself and she broke up with me.
And its just hard to understand, was it my fault that she gained weight? No. Was it my fault that she didnt have friends? No
Was it my fault that she wasnt so inndependent? No
But in her mind it was..
She needs to work on herself, and be more independent she said... You cant work out while being in a relationship? And she is really happy now also, so no going back i guess
@@OnFeature Wow. this is very selfish behavior from her. Stay strong.
Yes you will. Time is your best friend but time moves slowly. Keep yourself occupied with bettering yourself. Once you’ve done this you won’t need to find love again. Love will find you.
since I watch ur vids i feel so great! thank you
So helpful x thank you
Hi again Coach Lee...it has been 2 1/2 mths since my break up now. Been waitin sooo long 4 another new video of yours...and FINALLY! Wel as u knw i started and broke NO Contact 3 times before,within dis time. It has been verry difficult 4me so far. But i hav started No Contact again...1 week now. And i plan 2 continue. He called once on d 4th day i tink...2 tel me dat my landlord had called him b cuz i had missed d call. Said he told my landlord dat he left our apt and we are NO longer a couple. I was upset about it and d conversation didn't go so wel. So after dat i jus continued on No Contact. I tink dis time there's NO use in tinkin he wil contact me again or EVER com back. Doin d No Contact 2 try and move on now. It stil hurts and i cry at times. But i hav been eatin now as i had lost 10 pounds since d break up. Started exercising and tryin 2 keep in shape also. Takin care of myself. Idk if i wil EVER get over how tings ended 4 us. All i know is dat i hav tried my BEST! Better 2 try and fail...dan fail 2 try. Good luck 2 every 1 out there and plezz keep in No Contact 4 your own benefit.
Like relationship is something that totally needs space.
Dear coach Lee, would you, please, be able to make some content on when your partner leaves you for someone else? You seem to find the right words like no-one else can
It sure felt like out of the blue. We had a big date for Saturday, but he dumped by text the Thursday before that he was dating someone new. Searching for answers, I found these set of videos. I went into No Contact after he refused to tell me what happened. Fast Forward a year and 1/2 later, he's suddenly wished me a Happy New Year & Birthday on Social Media. I have not answered & not sure if I want to. I feel betrayed and don't trust him. I had a Free and Open-Heart for possibilities, but now my guard is up to protect myself.
Thank you so much for your videos and effort!
My Ex says there is no future for us. Well that is his loss.
He gives me hope.
No i don't want him.He will never be able to contact me.i do not care about the outcome anymore.i just want to totally be out of his life. He dumped me i was hurt i begged and begged and begged but as this time i could let him go i will not be there to play any types of mind game.i am moving on and will keep moving on.i will be out of his sight no matter how much it hurts!
Thank you for your videos ! they are amazing. Can you make a video about no contact during this pandemic ? I think my ex is moving on... he hasn’t reach out. And I cant post things having fun with my friends because we are in lockdown. Please help !
VIDEO IDEAS:
Could you do a video on when you decide to reach out to your ex after many months - as have nothing to lose?
And what an ex might mean when they say they don't wanna give false hope?
I reached out to my ex after 5 months no contact. He was polite but could tell his guard was up. I explored this and he said he is worried about giving me false hope. I reassured him that he doesn't need to worry about that, and put myself in friendzone (as feel that would be ok in my situation) and said I'm not here to add any pressure on him. He then instantly agreed to catch up over coffee when this situation is over. We were together 2 years. Went long distance before the break up, but now by random chance due to work purposes moving closer to where he's based.
From my experience, Don't do it! No contact mean zero contact, they dumped you, so they should reach out to you..
The only thing we have control over is our reactions to things
I need to work on my reactions
Omg you are so bless and helpful to me
I appreciate your videos. I am having an incredibly difficult time right now. I have been unable to complete no contact. I am going to try one last time. I'm very depressed and it's how I treated her that drove her away.. beyond words right now.
Doug Houston any updates? it’s exactly what I’m going through now. I can’t do NC at all
I just can’t control myself. I have been thinking about them 24/7. And I’m planning to try one last time too.
We’ve been on and off since we were kids, got married, divorced and he’s rejected me countless times, but for some reason, this time is like a gut punch. Even if I think he’ll come back, this separation is physically painful. I can’t seem to pull it together.
I had a 11 year long relationship. Super happy, but we ended it. With the most peaceful and respectful way towards each other. We really love each other.
Then I had a relationship of 5 months (dating), and we both where absolutely in love with each other. The first 4 months where over the clouds with the biggest adoration from both sides towards each other. However we had 3 “confrontations” which I like to see as discussions, but she saw it like that. Although the first 1 never was important because she was the one overreacting, not me. But in the 2nd one 3 months later I overreacted and was offended by something she said about something that I took to heart. And then a last one 5 weeks ago where we where in corona quarantine in text form. In that argument I stood for the argument, and kept going to try to convince her, while she was oversensitive to something I said that would normally shouldn’t be making her hurt. But she has that. I could say a sentence and without finishing it she could already raise an eyebrow. She was sensitive. But yeah I stood for that argument and she came with a lot of mean assumptions. I was even all of a sudden manipulative and abusive. Like wow. I took that to heart and have been researching and reflecting with my old ex and people who know me like if that somehow could be the case.
But in any case. It’s not about how I felt about it. It was only about what she felt about it. Although she was not kind. It was me who in her eyes was the culprit. I am a negative person and I don’t want to be positive apparently.
So I tried everything to stop her from lingering, but no. She avoided me more and more, she was anxious talking or thinking about me. And apparently she had a horrible ex before me. And something that I said or did reminded her of her ex she says. And that frightens her. With me being completely clueless that this could ever be. I said that I never had anyone ever telling me this, and neither in my previous 11 year long relationship who is also sensitive.
And then she also says that she is messed up in the last week. And when I said, that she shouldn’t be then trying to end it and take more time, she just says: “no, I’m like this”. She was in great avoidance too in these weeks and then no-contact. That hurt me tremendously because every day I tried solving and tried to get each other to a moment to talk constructively. That never happened. Never ever. Blame and avoidance. Even my best most well thought arguments that shows that many of her blames that where never crystallized or clear what she means (to my understanding), where not true, just failed. She said it’s my feelings. Or she said. That is your opinion, I have mine. Or she would say “I don’t know”. Or that is your truth. My opinion is my truth and I need to follow that in order to feel happy.
So. Very difficult. I actually really was in love with her and the first 4 months where amazing on every level. She was maybe more over the clouds than I was even and showed that in many ways.
And last few days it’s to the end part where she is breaking up with me. She thinks I’m wonderful in everything, but she doesn't think it will work and she has enough. She doesn't want it anymore.
Just wow for me. She never gave me a chance. I did my best to make her see things, she was not to be reasoned with. I tried to, but she came back with major assumptions and that is that. Nothing could ever change etc. She never engaged anything.
So I don’t think this will ever come back together. And slowly I don’t even know if I should be sad about that. I know she has emotional baggage, because she herself in her own words throughout the weeks showed that. Although she says it, but its all about what she feels and nothing else. She is not happy with me, and when initiating her no-contact in between the weeks to make her think, she doesn't want it anymore. Although that is so vague for me, because she only thought what she wanted. Only her assumptions where the truth. Nothing I said was even heard. Nothing. And since I got so much blame, I never read so much about relationships in my life. About toxic people all the way to emotional Ex-baggage. And surprisingly so many points mentioned with emotional ex-baggage is exactly what I was facing.
So yeah. I have little hope. It’s weird. Because I believed that those 4 months where so wonderful, that these last 4-5 weeks should somehow be a dream and that she would somehow come back to normality. But it went 180 in the worst direction. Still am struck by how extreme it felt.
And apparently me doing my best like in a normal relationship, made her say that I am not a harmonic person, that she needs a harmonic person, and she needs her space. O well. Everyone in my life that I know sees me as a very positive person. And then this. And also that situation was so strange, that how can even the most positive person stay positive when the other is completely leaving me in the dark, not messaging back, full avoidance, and not actively engaging anything. Not giving anything even a chance. I was unaware of it until she went and do things her way.
I still am in that dream of the first 4 months. I can’t believe it went down like that. Not in any thought of mine. I don’t believe either that she will come back. Although I don’t think I’m the one who did so wrong. I have the feelings coming to mind like intolerance and unwilling and a bit destructive what happened here. And yet, I hoped it wouldn’t be like that. And had to accept it yesterday in our last conversation.
But you’re right. The break up is giving me growth to be even better. I always tried to do my best. And is giving me a lot of reflection. The problem is, is that I was doubting myself in the many things she said, and I had to research all of it, and question it with people that know me for years and very well, to be reflected if I am like that what she was assuming and blaming.
My questions are also. What kind of person was she. Because it’s my 2nd relationship I don’t have endless comparisons. Was she normal? Was she overreacting and oversensitive? Was I really that bad in these 2 confrontations? We both made mistakes there, but why me? Why not reflect on that both made mistakes. Why not even talk about that? because that didn’t happen. Why not ever trying to reason with each other and full on accepting her opinion as the truth while projecting and assuming things in the meantime?
So yeah. A red line. One relationship where even after I broke up still thought I was the best person in the world. And the other who is human just like me, making mistakes just like me, broke everything down by 2 things and really ( in my eyes) underestimating the 99% of the rest of the beauty we had. Difficult for me to understand.
And that girl is actually from my work. And this entire breakdown happened while we didn’t see each other either. So after corona ban is lifted and we all go back to work, We will be in moments where we pass or be close to each other. Just weird
Currently going through this. Finally made the decision to cut off all contact because it’s the only way to heal. I hate that I’m so sad because he was extremely abusive anyways & never loved me. He only likes having me around as a physical & emotional punching bag. But I can’t help how my heart feels. I wish the pain would just go away.
Hope you’re doing well
Actually i felt that someone who brought me so much happiness has caused me so much pain
I was in LDR on again off again for 7 years we used to visit each other before the pandemic. We once broke up for two years then got back together and he said he did not forget me and told me he couldn’t date anyone during this period. But unfortunately we slowly grew apart and love faded so I broke up with him few months ago for good.
Feeling stronger every day. Tried no contact several times but each time failed. Feeling different this time,. Moments of sadness and tears but I know I can survive now without him. Almost five months since my husband left . Who knows what the future holds. I still love and miss him every day but things are changing. Can’t get over the deep hurt
Day 19 about to break no contact i was shaking anxiety kick in crying i dont know why ive been doing good for the past 2weeks of no contact its just kicks in depression and the anxiety is unbearable thats why i watched your videos about encouragement during no contact it helps me stay on that stage😭❤️thankyouu so much typing this while my eyes are wet as much😭
Roy Roy i no a man who...h elp me get my ex b ack
if u n eed h elp get in touch...with him now
+2 34 81 315:-246:97
Hello guys! I will keep you updated, to go through together this awful feeling. Sorry for my english. So...
After 1,5 years in peace and love, she decided to brake up. Everything was fine always in the relationship, but as Coach Lee says she doesnt see a future with me right now. As she said. We broke up 3 days ago in peace, because Coach Lee told us not to be cold and rude. We both agreed if the fate wants us together in the future we won't resist. So 3 days of no contact now... It is hard, so hard... I'm watching Lee's videos, movies, i play games, yesterday finally I could do some workout. I don't know what will happen during no contact, but i have to try, i have no better chance to ger her back. The worst thing probably is that I don't know what is she doing, maybe she meet with other guys, i doubt it, but my brain kills me...
So thank you Coach Lee, and you guys stay strong, as I said, I will keep you updated.
I hate myself way to much and I pushed her away. She deserves better.
Travis, why do you say that? What happened?
Hi Lee
I love your RUclips channel, I am subscribed and watch quite often your videos.
I want to tell you a little bit about me and my background:
I am from Colombia, I have lived in the States almost 7 years ago. I’m 37 years old, divorced twice with 2 wonderful children, 16 and 12 years old.
I have a successful career in the car business, I am independent, smart, funny and quite attractive. I have been dating since my divorce 3 years ago, I always have guys asking me out and willing to stay in a serious relationship with me, nothing too serious, at least from my stand point. I have been dumped and I have dumped in different situations, I have moved o easily every single time.
I met this guy a couple years ago, he casually service his car in the dealership I work for, we were just cordial with each other, maybe some flirting going on but nothing else.
Last year my only sister got diagnosed with terminal cancer back in Colombia, she passed 6 weeks after the diagnosis and all my family and myself were absolutely devastated. Few days after this diagnosis I was making arrangements to go back home with my kids to see her for the last time and we ran into each other in the dealership, I said hi to him and I Began talking about how sad I was and all what I was going through. He was able to closely relate since his mom passed also years ago due to cancer. He turned some how in my support, in my outlet and then I started to see him different. We increased the texting, the calling... after 2 or 3 months we were officially dating, we went to Colombia together and made plans for the future, we survived little disagreements and were always able to come back stronger. He is puertorican, I am Colombian, both complemented each other in different ways but with multiple common interests, we both like the same food, the same music, we have passion for fitness and healthy life style, no smokers, no heavy drinkers, my children love him and my parents love him and all we did together was fun and team work. The closest I have ever been to perfect relationship and truly believed that we were going somewhere together. Few days ago, we spent the whole weekend together, like most part of the time, from Thursday to Sunday. Saturday night, we had friends over, we played games, drank and laughed, nothing out of the normal. He has strong accent just like I do, we often make innocent jokes about the way each other pronounce different words in Spanish, apparently I went to hard, after everybody left he mentioned to me that when I finally meet his sister and brother in law, I had to be careful with the accent jokes. We were waiting for the COVID-19 Situation to settled down to fix a meeting with his family. I asked him if it bothered and he said a little bc I did it too much. I tried to explain to him that i wasn’t trying to be offensive And I love his accent and I was trying to apologize when he start talking over me. I got a little irritated we went to bed, nothing happened, next day we made up, we have a wonderful day but I wanted to apologize while we were sober and cooled off. Also I wanted to tell him about what irritated me that day. I didn’t see that like something major. Finally, we got both irritated, never said anything offensive to the other, just good night and went to bed. This was on Sunday night, he was in his apartment and we were FaceTiming. The days after no one reached out. On Thursday I took a road trip with my kids, I missed calculate the time to get back home and I needed to get my 2 dogs out since they were created since really early in the morning that day. I texted him and he replied dry, I was playful and asked him if he could come to the house And let the dogs out and wait for me if he wanted to, I also told him that I’m bringing food just in case he were hungry. He said thanks but I already ate. Nothing else. When I finally arrived home I fount out that he took all his stuff from my house, never said anything, or called or emailed...
I didn’t ask anything to him... He liked a meme in social media talking about living people’s lives gracefully.. to me the message was clear. He never unfollowed me or deleted me from fb but unfriended my dad and unfollowed my daughter. He left few items in my house, I don’t think he was aware of it so I packed everything I found and I took the bag to his apartment after he was gone. I didn’t say anything either Since he clearly didn’t want to talk to or felt that we didn’t need to.
Well... now he unfriended me and stopped following me on IG, I’m pretty sure he also deleted my phone number, seems like everything is over. I still follow him on IG, I didn’t take any action whatsoever and even when I am really heartbroken I haven’t left anyone know about how I feel.
Seeing this reaction I only thing that this was just an excuse to get out of the relationship but I still wonder what I missed, how I didn’t see this coming? What did I do wrong? Was our relationship so meaningless for him? How he quit so easy? Is it worth for me even trying to get him back? How do I do that ? What are your thoughts on this ?
Thanks in advance for your help
So he just ghosted you? But you think it was the accent comments that irritated him? Sounds like he really needs to have space for reflection and to see if he really doesn’t want you. It sounds basic but it’s likely the case.
Coach Lee you are right, it sounds like an excuse to me, and tbh, just for the way everything ended, which I think it was a huge lack of respect and maturity on his part, I don’t think I really want him back on my life. But I’m highly disappointed on myself for not having seen this coming. I always said that the worst blind person is the one that doesn’t want to see the truth even when is in front of its face. I guess that unconsciously, I choose not to see the truth. Thank you for your reply
Coach I am just shattered just can’t take it anymore . Happened twice and now I am depressed
Sometimes the trash takes itself out the door. Let them go!
I needed this video this morning. 7/30/22