I am sitting crying my heart out right now. I found out last night that I fell in love ,but he didn't. I've just had to many bad days for the last year. I always have such a hard time the week before and during Chris's because I buried my mother the day before Christmas Eve 4 years ago and then the guy I am so in love with just broke my heart and I suppose has been breaking it for the last y months if I would've just accepted it. But I just kept holding on and letting him disrespect and lie to me. More years than happy times now. I've got to go on I think
@@victoriabuchanan6018 I’m so sorry to hear this 💔 but I want to you to know you are NOT ALONE!! For me it’s been 2 weeks since the break up and I still have my bad days and miss her but we have to heal ourselves and one part of doing that is not looking back for now it’s too soon. This storm will pass Victoria and i know the ache but trust me TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS. Just take it day by day I believe in you!!!!! LIKE I SAID WE ALL GOT THIS!!
I just broke up with my bf of five years and even though it was toxic it doesn’t make it any less painful this is the worst pain I’ve felt I wanna crawl in a hole and die. I don’t see myself ever getting over him
I'm going through a heartbreak and it feels so bad and painful. I see him everyday and oh my god, every time I do I end up crying and I hide my tears from him. I'm trying so much not to feel all those emotions but it's so hard. He cheated on me. But I know it's not impossible to move on. If you guys are also going through the same thing then I wish you heal and stay strong. God bless you all. Sending a big healing wave and warm hug to everyone who needs it.
Reminds me of this quote: Accept- then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy. This will miraculously transform your whole life. ~Eckhart Tolle
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
"I'm suffering right now because I made an important decision for myself to speak up." And that is a NECESSARY thing. It may not feel good for now, but it is good & right for me in the long run. I chose myself.
This is precisely why my breakup just happened. Days ago. I loved her so much. And I know she loved me too. But the goal-post had moved so far from the start, I was feeling so unhappy and not secure, that *I* finally had to call it. She wasn't terrible to me. She just wasn't reciprocating what she needed to in order to equal our efforts. And so I spoke up. My heart is broken but healing. And it's because I spoke up.
This happened to me 9 days ago. I respectfully and calmly spoke up about feeling objectified and taken for granted and was immediately ghosted. Not a word since. I am struggling mightily to remain in NC, because I feel is the only thing that will at least maintain my dignity and self respect, but I feel devastated. I’m on a constant roller coaster of physical pain in my chest and stomach and I can’t stop sobbing. Going back and forth regretting speaking up, while knowing it was my only real option. Have to stop myself from texting him a dozen times per day. God let this stop! This is hell! Thank you for this amazing and reaffirming video, Matt. And to all the commenters for their support. Blessed community.
@ignazs.5816 I Know the feeling I'm going through a divorce and have been together for 6 years (married 5) and as much as it hurts and I have begged for her back there comes a time where there were things on both ends that we need to grow from. It will be the best decision in the long run it just hurts now because that is all that was know for however long. Life moves and so do feeling. We just have to move with it wether we like it or not
Heartbreak has taught me that I cannot go through it again. I gave too much of myself and have nothing left. I just want inner calm and peace. Literally everyone I know is married with children and I’m at an age where it is just too late to heal and recover for that future. Acceptance and closure is the best I can hope to achieve now. Sometimes you have to let it go. I think these channels are geared towards a younger demographic who have time on their side.
My mom is a single 53 year old lady who still has hope about love and beautiful things more than I do. I think it's not about age. Your comments made me really sad. I hope you gain your strength again and find your motivation and hope. Maybe music can help idk. I am wishing you the best. I am 21 years old now and trying to believe everything is going to be fine even when heartbreak comes from the ones we love the most like dad.
I feel the same way...Maybe love, marriage and me and my daughters having a family unit is not in the universe for me...I'm so heart broken I always mess things up for myself. Why me😥😥😥
I don't know how old you are and being with someone for along time and breaking up takes time to heal. I recently had a breakup of a 16 yr relationship and I am 59. It's so very hard. I am so use to that person, his ways, what he likes and don't like. As hard as it is to face, it's time for me to find me again. I am going through some counseling to help see me through. God Bless You. I Pray for healing for you.
On some level you wanted the breakup. That conversation that was asking for more. That conversation that was challenging his negative behavior and setting boundaries. Brilliant.
Hi Matt! I've been watching your videos for 5 years now and I can say that all the hours I've spent listening to you have sunk in. I was in a relationship with another Matthew 😂 for around 9 months. Two months ago he told me (after being on an amazing trip together) that he wasn't sure if he could see himself being with me in the future; to which what I replied "We should break up then. I deserve to be with someone who is 100% for me and you seem to not have clear what you want at the moment". I cried loads, I'm not going to lie. But it's been two months of self growth. I've learnt that the pillars in my life are my family, my friends, my job and myself and that no relationship or man is that important to make me doubt about myself. I made new friends, I'm looking after myself, I'm writing a diary which helps me put my thoughts together, I even recently started dating again! I CHOSE to break up. And whilst he's still sending me texts every week telling me he's looking at our pictures, I'm wishing him well (and to go to therapy) and focusing on what really matters here, ME. So, thank you! Keep recording, I'll keep watching! 😘
Wow, you are a brave woman! Keep going. Good that you broke up immediately instead of pleading before him to stay back or mend things (which most of us do when we can't accept the fact that other person doesn't like us anymore). Good that you didn't go back when he said he keeps looking at your pictures. Let him be. The way you have managed to move on without stretching this breakup, is worth a praise :)
Heart breaks hurt. But I promise you that it can be a great experience as well. It teaches how to love yourself, Strength, weakness and what to tolerate in your next relationships. Prospective is the key. Look for the good in the breakup and what you can do better next time.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Mindset is everything! I always tell my clients to learn and grow from their experience. Once they've taken time to reflect on why it happened their able to accept that it was probably for the best. Usually someone still had some growing to do or maybe they weren't ready to meet the other persons needs. Or perhaps they never should have been in that relationship in the first place.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
My ex decided to end the relationship a few days ago due to my repeated immature reactions. I know that I was not fully capable of meeting his needs in this moment. I need to place all my exertion in healing, maturing and overcoming self sabotage.
3:06 This is everything!! I think that very often just doing something makes all the difference. Just taking action and keeping promises for yourself. This moisturizer may not remove my under-eye bags, but sometimes just knowing that I'm applying it, makes all the difference because I'm showing up for myself and by showing up I tell myself that I care. This applies whether I'm writing a book that won't end up being a bestseller, doing that workout or going on that date. I'm showing up and that matters
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
I recently went through a heartbreak and I’ve tried doing many different things; walking my dog, going to a yoga class, going to the movies, have dinner with family, focus on my nutrition, etc. but still nothing. It helps for a tiny amount of time and even when I’m doing these things I’m still heartbroken. I see a therapist, even a psychiatrist. Still nothing. I feel so anxious that I’m trying, I’m struggling and there’s no end in sight
Hey, listen, it will get easier with time I promise. It's good you are being active as that's the right way to go about it. Keep going. I know it's hard but speaking from experience it will get easier.
@@sbrown114able hi we are in the same path. I would love to be friend with you and share this things so we can both heal. I need a friend to talk to atm.
It’s the whole “choose your hard”. You are going to go through it anyway. Saving money is hard; being broke it hard. Being in a relationship is hard; being single is hard. Essentially you choose your hard. I
My ex gf is/might be an avoidant type. She broke up with me because I wanted to much time from her, and because I keep wanting to talk about conflicts within our relationship. It was really hard for me this past month, but after watching this video, I feel so much better now. Something about this video woke up something inside of me.
I think my ex bf was similar with your ex. He wanted more his time and he felt so hard that i was very available. I also wanted to keep looking for the way to figure things out. Well, i am sometimes sad after breaking up with him who i spent 8 years with, but I don’t need anyone who doesn’t want me 🤷🏾♀️ sorry that he lost me 🤷🏾♀️
Man I'm going through this right now my gf is a typical avoidant she's closed off emotionally due to issues from her childhood and I'm an anxious attached type. We broke up for a day after Christmas then agreed to work on some stuff but then she just shut down and for 3 weeks got more and more distant. We took a 2 week break and spoke for the first time last night and agreed to meet for lunch this weekend but she's enjoyed being single. She said she might just want to be alone. I know she's not happy in general but she just wants to avoid and run rather than deal and figure out why she's not happy. And I love her so much it's hard to let go. **edit we broke up for good that same weekend..beginning of feb.. it was brutal but I'm way better off and dodged a bullet..she has drinking problem, gambling problem and credit card debt that I didn't even know about till January and we're way too different.. it's a blessing although I'm still healing :)
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Taking ownership for the breakup because you spoke up for your needs that they are not willing to come through on, Demand to grow during break up , great stuff , thank you!
That 15:00, that hit hard. I voiced out my needs. He told me to give him more patience, that he isn't perfect. And that's when all the coldness started.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
I have commented on other Matthew Hussey’s clips. I am going through this right now - it’s been nearly 4 weeks now. And, the first moments of consciousness in the morning are the worst!… The ball of nerves in the pit of my stomach that keeps on churning… The palpitations at various moments in the day, even before bedtime… The pictures which keep appearing on my phone… This is not the only time I have been through this, and I am so so so hurt. The person did not want to commit after 8 years! And, they blamed me. Everyday, I tell myself I can do this, everyday, I fail a little or a lot. Shall we send each other (all of us going through this) support and positivity? 🙏
I’m relieved Matthew mentioned losing a loved one as a form of suffering. I raised a puppy like my own child. He passed away suddenly. He was young and healthy and I’m heartbroken over his loss💔It’s so hard to see what would be good in such a loss. Dogs are the most loving, loyal beings who only give love; unconditional love. This video may help me change my perspective.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
I love my dogs more than anything. losing them has always crushed me. But I'm certain you brought such love and warmth into his life while he was on this earth. Wishing you new happiness and new beginnings in your future. Seeking out new joy will honour his memory. Best.
Dogs are family. I'm sorry for your loss. I agree with the person above who said that the live abd care you gave was such a blessing to this one who also blessed you.
The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 I’ve been heartbroken, rejected, and used but because of Jesus I’ve healed and felt joy again.
I expressed my needs and boundaries, and he didn't want to to the work to stay in the relationship. He went running like a little boy straight on to the next woman.
I was in an abusive relationship. I did everything right. I Exercised, fasting eating clean but i still didn't lose weight i kept gaining. I finally left and i learned i was stressed out and now i manage it and im finally losing weight and feeling better. Can you do a video on leaving an abusive alcoholic relationship. It took me 2 years to get out but I'm here healing 5 months in.
Good for you. Sometimes is hard to leave those relationships because sometimes women think “they may change” specially if they are manipulators. There is a lot of reasons why women choose to stay and it’s not because they love been abused. Some people think is easy to get out but is not.
Wow. Thank you. Yes. Reframing my break up as an opportunity, a choice, taking ownership. I am choosing this pain and struggle so that I can achieve something greater, level up, find a reciprocal relationship.
You are genius Matthew. Thank you! I did initiate the break up. I made an important decision for myself to speak up. I take ownership for my pain. I am not a victim. Thank you!
I’d just been ghosted by a guy I’d been dating - it’s been years since I liked anyone as much as I liked him. It hurts but I choose to think that him doing this to me will allow space for the right person to come into my life. I will soon get back out there and bring the same level of energy to meet new people. I hope that whoever is going through a heartbreak now will find the strength to keep your head up and never give up 💪🏻
Great advice and insight from the both of you! Having that argument that leads to the breakup is often finally standing up for yourself and being fed up. If that is used against you to end the relationship you were not valued and better off without them. It’s time for you now ❤️
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
The ‘take ownership’ portion of this video really helped. You’re absolutely right, I finally spoke up and the result was him leaving. Better that he’s gone than to continue not getting what I need. Cannot thank you enough for this message! 🙏💕
the last part was powerfull. I chose to speak up, confess my feeling to see where I stand cause I dont want to wate my time in a non serious relationship, I knew inside its probably going to lead to a breakup but I still chose to say whats on my mind. He just pulled the triger and showed me I WAS RIGHT! So I'm the one who initiate the breakup by speaking up and staying loyal to myself, my feelings, my needs. Thank you Mathew
Here again in another breakup situation and it hurts so bad not just emotionally but also physically, so painful, this time I need to get through it and fully heal and never get in the same situation again. So difficult to move on when the person i felt was going to be my life long partner leaves. I'll chuck some water spray up my nose and see if it helps, it sounds like it will aslong as I believe ;)
This was everything I needed to hear in so many ways. I've been told a lot recently that I am not a victime in this 'breakup' and to own up to my part in it. Ane I've been so confused, cause he ghosted me. He stopped answering me, so how could I have inflicted that. But I did speak my mind. I did tell him that he hurt me in a way, by doing something that was not okay to me, and initially his reaction was quite positive, wanting to talk about it, but we never did, cause he stopped answering. So yeah, I am not innocent in this. And I will never be sorry for respecting my own boundaries!
Omg, I went through exactly the same thing 3 months ago after over 1 year with him. I spoke up asking for more commitment, more communication and he said he wasn’t sure. I kinda called it off. Then he emailed me and said he didn’t want to give up and wanted to talk about it. But the actual talk never happened, except the times I pushed him to talk. Now he totally disappeared from my life, except emailing me once in the middle of a night telling me he’s seeing a therapist and asking me when I want my belongings back. I responded. Again, he went into darkness again. Till now, we never had the talk nor he returned my stuff…. I like how you look at it. And I think I should do the same. The pain was excruciating in the past few months that I couldn’t breathe. But I think it’s the time to own up my action and realize I actually wanted to end it even though it still hurts.
@@fishcanon8141 That does sound like a lot. I only had to deal with it for about a month - the whole on and off thing, which makes it all so confusing and the pain so hard to deal with - but after watching this video I realized that my boundaries are important and I'm not going to let someone else make me feel down just because they can't accept my boundaries, and I don't think you should either. Climb the mountain, because you deserve to stand on top of it, with the world at your feet! I'm sorry if you can't get your things though. Hope it was nothing important.
@@amieamie6268 Thank you. Nothing too important. I was secretly hoping to see him again by asking for my stuff but now I really don’t care. I am slowly accepting the fact that it is over and he isn’t right for me. The process isn’t easy but we will get there..❤️
He would always makes me cry. And I think I looked so haggard and stressed during the time I was with him. Thats what I always think, to move on easily.
The point about the person who did not want the breakup feeling the pain imposed upon you is a valid one. However, the reason that the relationship is over is that it is time to think about yourself. When we fail to accept this it is because we are bent on making it with another person but the reality is that the most important person in our lives is our own selves. The end of a relationship is the opportunity for self-growth. It is a "me" time. It is an excellent time! True it is that the selfless side of us will permeate the feeling of loss and wanting to mend up things that we can go through life together with this other person, however, it is totally legitimate and a wonderful opportunity to think about your own self!
Matthew Hussey..my emotions for you haven't changed..I said it before and I am still saying it.. Matthew Hussey..every mother deserves a son like u..every daughter deserves a father like you..every sister deserves a brother like you..every wife deserves a husband like you..every good girl deserves a good man like you..
Your user name is God’s Plan. It is not God’s plan for us to idolize any other person. Matthew is a flawed individual like everyone. He’s had bad relationships and is not perfect. Be sure that your ideal man is Christ-like…Jesus alone is our standard.
Omg.. the minute I spoke of my needs, they could not give me answers to my questions and they ghosted.. so in a sense I started the break up.. Thank you Matthew
Falling in love is like entering a war zone. You’re liable to get hurt. Some battles you win, some you lose… but you season and mature, get exposed and gain experience and learn some tricks too as time goes by, or else you’re dead. Survival is the game!
How does this gentleman come up with these kind of insights, comparisons and wisdom. Surely he is called for such a time as this. This not mere mortal.
The pain of a breakup is more so self-disappointment since you would have neglected your own needs, yourself and also you would have made sacrifices to make a relationship work. By accepting that you had made a bad decision to have been with that particular person and starting to instead try making it up to ourselves by taking care of ourselves the best we can, we begin to realize that we can survive the error.
Going through heart break is the worst thing ever.. ive just come out of a relationship with someone with bpd and its one of the worst things ever.. your life is consumed by them and then suddenly they are gone and you feel a huge void.. One of the worst break ups out there to go through..
@ginoangeles5260 I think it's tough for anyone with bpd really... its known as one of the most intense and painful mental health issues for a reason. Keep up with the healing and therapy! 🙂
face the breakup knowing you stood up for your needs. the other party couldnt give what you need or vice versa. its not meant to be. find ways to heal the pain. The recovery may take time. some may realise they recovered sooner than they expected. once recovered, focus on our own mistakes and not to repeat it again. Look for new love and give the "new" best of yourself to the other party. while we are recovering, we can identify what we want and dont want out of a relationship with reference to the last relationship. Use this criteria to search for the new partner so there will be a better fit. Chemistry alone isnt going to sustain a relationship. It will eventually fizzle out over time, thats normal. Having similar values and goals will help sustain it. With similar values and goals, it serves as a compass to guide both parties towards the it.
Thank you for this video. I can relate to this right now as I am going through a separation and this video couldn't have come at a better time. Sometimes it's just doing things that you know may not fix everything or help you get over what you're going through, but as long as you are taking action and implementing things that make you feel good and gives you a positive mindset can make a huge difference. It might not get rid of the heartbreak or change the situation, but it will help you own it and choose to grow from it.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Dear Matthew - this is the first time in my 40 years of life and relationship expoeriences, that I ever heard something that makes sense in terms of pain of brakeup. Thank you
Matthew, thank you for your work. I don’t know what I would have done without your videos during these difficult times. Heartbreak is extremely devastating
My "boyfriend" tossed me out Saturday night after moving in his ex-wife and 19 year old son into his one bedroom apartment. He literally told her (he thought I wasn't listening) that I didn't matter and he loved her more. He told her he would get me out somehow. I took my dogs, and left that's when I saw her Moving Van literally right behind my car. It hurt so much. I am looking to move on.
I'm so sorry Dorothy. This is terrible. I can't even imagine what you're going through. I think it's great that you're looking to move on and I also think it's ok to allow yourself to feel sad about it and to mourn that relationship. You'll get through this. Sending you much love x
I'm sorry but know you will be GREAT!!! Just take time for you and take care of you physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. You're probably better off without him anyway.
Holy shit, I cannot tell you how helpful watching these breakup videos has been. They've made me realize, as painful as it is to write out, that breaking up was the best decision for me and my partner after months of trying to resolve our issues. I wanted to believe that they weren't that big a deal and that we could get over them but ultimately a relationship takes two people and no matter how small an issue may seem to you, you can't control other people and their ability to change. To my friends going through a breakup, stay strong. It will get better and there is light at the end of the tunnel. Learn to be on your own again, take the time to heal, and you will become a better person as a result of it. Good luck friends, sending lots of love
Acceptance is a great place to start. Pain can occur if reality doesn’t match up with our expectations. Accepting the variance between the two will bring more pain, but in that pain is healing ❤️🩹 God bless ☮️
I've watched a lot of videos on this as spoken to a lot of friends and no one has phrased it as eloquently and in a way that was so helpful as you did. Thank you so much for this video, I have been struggling for weeks now and I finally have a fresh and uplifting perspective on my situation!
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Matthew Hussey you are the best. This happened to me this morning. The content in this video is the story of my life. After listening to it, I'm a conqueror because of you.. No more guilt trips for demanding my worthiness and setting boundaries.. Hooray!!! Thanks for sharing incredible wisdom with us ❤
Estrangement here. Brutal pain. Extreme feelings of betrayal. Not a lover but a family member. I continued to push on and not allow it to take me down. This individual was very detached from everyone! Can’t see how dumping everyone will ease that. Where you go. There you are.
Heaven Phillips, you’re right. We need to renew our minds, pushing away the bad/negative thoughts and replacing them with good , positive ones. One cannot just push away the bad thoughts and leave the mind empty, got to fill it up w good ones, or else the bad thoughts will find their way back to your mind. One way to fill it is with the Word of wisdom of God. Blessings
I can recommend you to someone powerful who was able to bring back my ex wife and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems ♥️✅🙏♥️😘
Oh my how fortunate, my bf and I just broke up a few days ago and now I get this video :D its my first time and it hurts really bad but I've been working on myself and this video just motivated me more. Thank you! :)
Oh my god! Thank you so-so much! I left the toxic relationships with that feeling, but then due to extreme business and tiredness became feeling like a victim. But then again it was my choice in the first place, that has come for several month before I finally got to end this thing. And right now I'm gonna care about myself and live this past in the past!
I love your communication with one another sometimes Matthew: goes on for 4 minutes Stephen, while matt is catching some air between sentences: yup 😁 thanks so much, this helps. In my story I am the one ending my relationship, I'm being emotionally abused. I've already tried to break up a month ago but by the end of the conversation he had got me far enough to try and start over. One month later nothing has changed, but I have realized what I'm a victim to. I'm still scared to have the talk and giving in again, and the guilt he makes me feel I'm afraid may keep me from truly healing from this. So this did really help me. My intention is set straight and I know I will persevere because I want to.
I found one quote extremely meaningful that when we love we make that person soooo special and significant, we suffer from the idea of being away from that person .. if the person loves us but need help then it makes sense to work on tht relationship but if he /she is toxic, narcissist then first thing one should do is to downgrade that person in our eyes..thinking about all the negative things about the guy..
Holy shit wow! This just spoke to me on so many levels that nobody has been ever able to give me in the last year regarding my divorce. I choose this pain!!! Thank you!! 💜
This is amazing thank you! I have been a bit broken but I was the one who walked away and that was a much needed perspective of what it’s like to confront what you need or what you caught them doing and realizing it’s not about you/ it’s them
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
58yrs here. I chose to leave an 18 yr. Marriage. Have to keep reminding myself of the reasons why I chose to leave.That i wanted something more. I hope that I find that something "more". 😒
I’m gonna start by writing a list of all the ways that my heart break and loss is, and will help me in the future that I am aware of, or can imagine, and then come to a place eventually with the ‘true’ ways it has as I see them. Thank you.
What do you do if you accept the breakup - that it was mutual and know that you two just weren't the right fit, but can't accept them being totally cut out of your life / no contact... The fact that it was mutual didn't make things any easier for the heartache, we were together for 6 years... :(
Thank you. Even though he broke up with me, he really didn’t give me what I wanted…… at all. Which means I was stuck and just couldn’t get out. So thank you, I’m going to try to see this as an opportunity, even though a part of me is still broken 😬
wow, You are so awesome. i voiced myself and my concerns and it led to a break up. They didn't see any wrong in it and broke up. I feel good though after seeing this video. Because i broke up with them knowing i did not like what i saw and they were not willing to change it or accept accountability. So i stuck to my standards and had something to do with the break up as a result. I feel so much better now. thank you so much for making me feel better. I no longer feel like i'm the one at fault or was the reason for the break up.
Setting a goal and charting a course and stepping on that train in the right direction, is immensely healing in itself. If you find a goal. I’m having some troubles setting a goal because one way would risk my happiness in other ways. You really have to have faith.
I love the concept of accepting that you played a role in the breakup. Made some things fire off in my brain about some conversations that led up to getting cut loose by my ex gf. In late November, the weekend after my bday, her texting dropped off drastically and I asked if everything was ok with us. She told me she hadn’t noticed how much she’d slowed down in texting me, but she was just depressed but she’d work to be more consistent. And for a minute, she was. But communication continued to decrease from there. I asked for my needs to be met, and her commitment issues kicked into gear! I could’ve just gone along and hoped to god she’d respond more. I could have poked around in the dark and assumed instead of ever having that conversation. But i would’ve been so anxious and even more unhappy. I’ve chosen my fate! I contributed to the breakup and I gladly accept that.
Fantastic growth can come from a breakup and luckily it has happened to me. And yes, we broke up because I repeatedly asked to take my needs into account. Now I am so much stronger and happier. Hang in there!!!
Yes you are correct. After so many yrs I decided to state my needs and he stayed away silent. It hurts and it will take time and suppñet from my clases friends but I know something better is caming my way. Just bc god is leading my way.
Hi Matt, You are actually there, very much so. Thank you. Thank you for describing a breakup as intense and an avalanche. I love the way you explain the brain. As well, I love the rat/wheel citation. It's illuminating and gives one much food for thought. If I'm choosing my struggle...then it's such a great challenge toward empowerment. Your contention with this dilemma is helping me find my way through victimhood. I know that suffering is an opportunity to become a better person. In that this is suffering that I choose does empower me to embrace it as a challenge right now and take it on. If I chose this path, this breakup by giving voice to my needs which precipitated my journey then I am the rat on the controlling treadmill. A breakup can send one into disarray. Thoughts and emotions spray in every direction and it's hard for mere mortals to find cohesion or logic or pattern. It's like a bottomless pit that is full of darkness and most times you simply resort to patterns of thought and feelings that have guided you in the past coming away with no greater sense of yourself. Intelligence is pattern recognition and Matt, I'm grateful that you have greater intelligence than the average bear to help me find my way. Betty
I am been heartbroken and the pain is so painful that I felt like I was choking when I swallow but I did heal and I feel like I'm left with scars on my heart ❤️ and I believe you have to find something to do to get your mind off of the pain I became a body builder and stay healthy and even after years of work I don't think I would ever allow myself to love that deeply again
I wish I could see my relationship differently. The last wk of June, My bf of 6 yrs broke up with me halfway into our vacation. He picked a fight with me and told me to leave. No warning at all. I’m devastated 💔😪. I’m praying daily for gods healing and protection. Will be going to therapy.
I like how he said unwanted breakup it true when break up happens no one really want to break up. They always see someone better than the person they are with . An breaking up and end up regretting it. That's that emptiness we feel it happens to the best of us. We just keep learning Day by day . An wiser in making decisions.
Loved this video! Crazy how a change in perspective to a certain situation can completely change your feelings about it too. We’re not hanging on for survival, we’re DEMANDING growth from our pain. YES 💪🏼
![Twenty One Pilots - “The Line” (from Arcane Season 2) [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/E2Rj2gQAyPA/mqdefault.jpg)
To all my people going through a painful breakup we got this!!! We’re gonna have good days and bad days keep our heads up✊🏾
🗽
I am sitting crying my heart out right now. I found out last night that I fell in love ,but he didn't. I've just had to many bad days for the last year. I always have such a hard time the week before and during Chris's because I buried my mother the day before Christmas Eve 4 years ago and then the guy I am so in love with just broke my heart and I suppose has been breaking it for the last y months if I would've just accepted it. But I just kept holding on and letting him disrespect and lie to me. More years than happy times now. I've got to go on I think
@@victoriabuchanan6018 I’m so sorry to hear this 💔 but I want to you to know you are NOT ALONE!! For me it’s been 2 weeks since the break up and I still have my bad days and miss her but we have to heal ourselves and one part of doing that is not looking back for now it’s too soon. This storm will pass Victoria and i know the ache but trust me TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS. Just take it day by day I believe in you!!!!! LIKE I SAID WE ALL GOT THIS!!
I just broke up with my bf of five years and even though it was toxic it doesn’t make it any less painful this is the worst pain I’ve felt I wanna crawl in a hole and die. I don’t see myself ever getting over him
I'm going through a heartbreak and it feels so bad and painful. I see him everyday and oh my god, every time I do I end up crying and I hide my tears from him. I'm trying so much not to feel all those emotions but it's so hard. He cheated on me. But I know it's not impossible to move on.
If you guys are also going through the same thing then I wish you heal and stay strong.
God bless you all.
Sending a big healing wave and warm hug to everyone who needs it.
"I am suffering right now because I spoke up about my needs"
im in this situation for now. god, it hurts.. been a week for nw. i still healin.
I spoke about my needs and feelings to her to... She got angry and kicked me out. It was traumatic
Same here ❤️
Same for me too
Same here also
Reminds me of this quote:
Accept- then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy. This will miraculously transform your whole life. ~Eckhart Tolle
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now...
Waow that's a strong quote
I love this ❤️
Marvelous! I feel much better now. Thanx for the quote!
"I'm suffering right now because I made an important decision for myself to speak up." And that is a NECESSARY thing. It may not feel good for now, but it is good & right for me in the long run. I chose myself.
This is precisely why my breakup just happened. Days ago. I loved her so much. And I know she loved me too. But the goal-post had moved so far from the start, I was feeling so unhappy and not secure, that *I* finally had to call it.
She wasn't terrible to me. She just wasn't reciprocating what she needed to in order to equal our efforts.
And so I spoke up. My heart is broken but healing. And it's because I spoke up.
This happened to me 9 days ago. I respectfully and calmly spoke up about feeling objectified and taken for granted and was immediately ghosted. Not a word since. I am struggling mightily to remain in NC, because I feel is the only thing that will at least maintain my dignity and self respect, but I feel devastated. I’m on a constant roller coaster of physical pain in my chest and stomach and I can’t stop sobbing. Going back and forth regretting speaking up, while knowing it was my only real option. Have to stop myself from texting him a dozen times per day. God let this stop! This is hell! Thank you for this amazing and reaffirming video, Matt. And to all the commenters for their support. Blessed community.
Yup. Once you realise you deserve better, letting go will be the best decision ever.
I know I deserve better, but he was the best I've ever had.
@ignazs.5816 I Know the feeling I'm going through a divorce and have been together for 6 years (married 5) and as much as it hurts and I have begged for her back there comes a time where there were things on both ends that we need to grow from. It will be the best decision in the long run it just hurts now because that is all that was know for however long. Life moves and so do feeling. We just have to move with it wether we like it or not
Heartbreak is the same as being buried alive. So bad
”Someone wonderful will never love me again”
Heartbreak has taught me that I cannot go through it again. I gave too much of myself and have nothing left. I just want inner calm and peace. Literally everyone I know is married with children and I’m at an age where it is just too late to heal and recover for that future. Acceptance and closure is the best I can hope to achieve now. Sometimes you have to let it go. I think these channels are geared towards a younger demographic who have time on their side.
My mom is a single 53 year old lady who still has hope about love and beautiful things more than I do. I think it's not about age. Your comments made me really sad. I hope you gain your strength again and find your motivation and hope. Maybe music can help idk. I am wishing you the best. I am 21 years old now and trying to believe everything is going to be fine even when heartbreak comes from the ones we love the most like dad.
I feel the same way...Maybe love, marriage and me and my daughters having a family unit is not in the universe for me...I'm so heart broken I always mess things up for myself.
Why me😥😥😥
I don't know how old you are and being with someone for along time and breaking up takes time to heal. I recently had a breakup of a 16 yr relationship and I am 59. It's so very hard. I am so use to that person, his ways, what he likes and don't like. As hard as it is to face, it's time for me to find me again. I am going through some counseling to help see me through. God Bless You. I Pray for healing for you.
@@sbrown114able can very much relate to you..
@@rhondasisson4140 I feel you, 59 here, 8 year relationship, very hard
On some level you wanted the breakup. That conversation that was asking for more. That conversation that was challenging his negative behavior and setting boundaries. Brilliant.
Truth, best comment yet!
Hi Matt! I've been watching your videos for 5 years now and I can say that all the hours I've spent listening to you have sunk in. I was in a relationship with another Matthew 😂 for around 9 months. Two months ago he told me (after being on an amazing trip together) that he wasn't sure if he could see himself being with me in the future; to which what I replied "We should break up then. I deserve to be with someone who is 100% for me and you seem to not have clear what you want at the moment". I cried loads, I'm not going to lie. But it's been two months of self growth. I've learnt that the pillars in my life are my family, my friends, my job and myself and that no relationship or man is that important to make me doubt about myself. I made new friends, I'm looking after myself, I'm writing a diary which helps me put my thoughts together, I even recently started dating again! I CHOSE to break up. And whilst he's still sending me texts every week telling me he's looking at our pictures, I'm wishing him well (and to go to therapy) and focusing on what really matters here, ME.
So, thank you! Keep recording, I'll keep watching! 😘
Wow, you are a brave woman!
Keep going.
Good that you broke up immediately instead of pleading before him to stay back or mend things (which most of us do when we can't accept the fact that other person doesn't like us anymore).
Good that you didn't go back when he said he keeps looking at your pictures. Let him be.
The way you have managed to move on without stretching this breakup, is worth a praise :)
My story is exactly the same 🙂 All the best to you!
Ahhh you go girl. This comment alone gave me strength
Love this!
Damn! Ur so strong , love it!
I always thought he broke up with me but after watching this, I realized you were right. I pushed him to pull the trigger 😭😭😭
Heart breaks hurt. But I promise you that it can be a great experience as well. It teaches how to love yourself, Strength, weakness and what to tolerate in your next relationships. Prospective is the key. Look for the good in the breakup and what you can do better next time.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now...
Mindset is everything! I always tell my clients to learn and grow from their experience. Once they've taken time to reflect on why it happened their able to accept that it was probably for the best. Usually someone still had some growing to do or maybe they weren't ready to meet the other persons needs. Or perhaps they never should have been in that relationship in the first place.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now...
Or perhaps they found somebody else and stabbed you in the back.
My ex decided to end the relationship a few days ago due to my repeated immature reactions. I know that I was not fully capable of meeting his needs in this moment. I need to place all my exertion in healing, maturing and overcoming self sabotage.
The response is its me. Not you.
3:06 This is everything!! I think that very often just doing something makes all the difference. Just taking action and keeping promises for yourself.
This moisturizer may not remove my under-eye bags, but sometimes just knowing that I'm applying it, makes all the difference because I'm showing up for myself and by showing up I tell myself that I care.
This applies whether I'm writing a book that won't end up being a bestseller, doing that workout or going on that date. I'm showing up and that matters
❤️❤️🙏🏻
This is said so beautifully! You are very right, showing up for yourself matters! I love this and will keep it in my heart! 🙌🏻💕💕💕🙌🏻
I do agree. Stay causitive over the situation but defo spray seems funny ;)
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now...
Heartbreak is no joke pain makes u so much stronger and teaches u more then anything else will
I recently went through a heartbreak and I’ve tried doing many different things; walking my dog, going to a yoga class, going to the movies, have dinner with family, focus on my nutrition, etc. but still nothing. It helps for a tiny amount of time and even when I’m doing these things I’m still heartbroken. I see a therapist, even a psychiatrist. Still nothing. I feel so anxious that I’m trying, I’m struggling and there’s no end in sight
Same here. Nothing is working...I'm in complete HELL
Hey, listen, it will get easier with time I promise. It's good you are being active as that's the right way to go about it. Keep going. I know it's hard but speaking from experience it will get easier.
@@sbrown114able hi we are in the same path. I would love to be friend with you and share this things so we can both heal. I need a friend to talk to atm.
You are in my prayers. This too shall pass.
@@sbrown114able you are also in my prayer, it's not easy, but it's going to be okay. This too shall pass...
I’m suffering because I made an important decision for myself… Love it
It’s the whole “choose your hard”. You are going to go through it anyway. Saving money is hard; being broke it hard. Being in a relationship is hard; being single is hard. Essentially you choose your hard. I
Thank you, Matthew, for making me realize that I am the one who created the breakup ...by standing up for myself. This is so powerful.
My ex gf is/might be an avoidant type. She broke up with me because I wanted to much time from her, and because I keep wanting to talk about conflicts within our relationship. It was really hard for me this past month, but after watching this video, I feel so much better now. Something about this video woke up something inside of me.
❤️
I think my ex bf was similar with your ex. He wanted more his time and he felt so hard that i was very available. I also wanted to keep looking for the way to figure things out. Well, i am sometimes sad after breaking up with him who i spent 8 years with, but I don’t need anyone who doesn’t want me 🤷🏾♀️ sorry that he lost me 🤷🏾♀️
Man I'm going through this right now my gf is a typical avoidant she's closed off emotionally due to issues from her childhood and I'm an anxious attached type. We broke up for a day after Christmas then agreed to work on some stuff but then she just shut down and for 3 weeks got more and more distant. We took a 2 week break and spoke for the first time last night and agreed to meet for lunch this weekend but she's enjoyed being single. She said she might just want to be alone. I know she's not happy in general but she just wants to avoid and run rather than deal and figure out why she's not happy. And I love her so much it's hard to let go.
**edit we broke up for good that same weekend..beginning of feb.. it was brutal but I'm way better off and dodged a bullet..she has drinking problem, gambling problem and credit card debt that I didn't even know about till January and we're way too different.. it's a blessing although I'm still healing :)
Same as my ex, it atill hurts and i still miss him but hes totally shut me out
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Taking ownership for the breakup because you spoke up for your needs that they are not willing to come through on, Demand to grow during break up , great stuff , thank you!
That 15:00, that hit hard. I voiced out my needs. He told me to give him more patience, that he isn't perfect. And that's when all the coldness started.
Same! Same!
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now...
Absolutely me!
That’s exactly what happened.
I have commented on other Matthew Hussey’s clips. I am going through this right now - it’s been nearly 4 weeks now. And, the first moments of consciousness in the morning are the worst!… The ball of nerves in the pit of my stomach that keeps on churning… The palpitations at various moments in the day, even before bedtime… The pictures which keep appearing on my phone… This is not the only time I have been through this, and I am so so so hurt. The person did not want to commit after 8 years! And, they blamed me. Everyday, I tell myself I can do this, everyday, I fail a little or a lot. Shall we send each other (all of us going through this) support and positivity? 🙏
Hiya, your comment spoke to me and I just wanted to reach out and see how you're doing with things now?
I’m relieved Matthew mentioned losing a loved one as a form of suffering. I raised a puppy like my own child. He passed away suddenly. He was young and healthy and I’m heartbroken over his loss💔It’s so hard to see what would be good in such a loss. Dogs are the most loving, loyal beings who only give love; unconditional love. This video may help me change my perspective.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now...
I love my dogs more than anything. losing them has always crushed me. But I'm certain you brought such love and warmth into his life while he was on this earth. Wishing you new happiness and new beginnings in your future. Seeking out new joy will honour his memory.
Best.
Dogs are family. I'm sorry for your loss. I agree with the person above who said that the live abd care you gave was such a blessing to this one who also blessed you.
The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18
I’ve been heartbroken, rejected, and used but because of Jesus I’ve healed and felt joy again.
Amen
Amen
I expressed my needs and boundaries, and he didn't want to to the work to stay in the relationship. He went running like a little boy straight on to the next woman.
sigh my heart keeps getting broken by people I never was in a relationship with...
I was in an abusive relationship. I did everything right. I Exercised, fasting eating clean but i still didn't lose weight i kept gaining. I finally left and i learned i was stressed out and now i manage it and im finally losing weight and feeling better. Can you do a video on leaving an abusive alcoholic relationship. It took me 2 years to get out but I'm here healing 5 months in.
Good for you. Sometimes is hard to leave those relationships because sometimes women think “they may change” specially if they are manipulators. There is a lot of reasons why women choose to stay and it’s not because they love been abused. Some people think is easy to get out but is not.
It took me 5 years. I’m so proud of you ❤️
Congratulations 🎊 we are so happy for you ❤
Congratulations 🍾🎊 for leaving! I left 2 years ago myself.
same here, i can't let go of my obsession with food it was the thing i always turned to when people turned on me or rejected me
Wow. Thank you. Yes. Reframing my break up as an opportunity, a choice, taking ownership. I am choosing this pain and struggle so that I can achieve something greater, level up, find a reciprocal relationship.
You are genius Matthew. Thank you! I did initiate the break up. I made an important decision for myself to speak up. I take ownership for my pain. I am not a victim. Thank you!
"I am going to do what it takes to feel better" .... yes, even if it is getting up and stepping outside...and breathing. You can do this.
I’d just been ghosted by a guy I’d been dating - it’s been years since I liked anyone as much as I liked him. It hurts but I choose to think that him doing this to me will allow space for the right person to come into my life. I will soon get back out there and bring the same level of energy to meet new people.
I hope that whoever is going through a heartbreak now will find the strength to keep your head up and never give up 💪🏻
Great advice and insight from the both of you! Having that argument that leads to the breakup is often finally standing up for yourself and being fed up. If that is used against you to end the relationship you were not valued and better off without them. It’s time for you now ❤️
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now...
Matthew is a hell of a teacher. The content MAKES SENSE. Finally.
We’ll be ok
ruclips.net/channel/UC5A844xqnMUa6IiG9-7C0uw
The ‘take ownership’ portion of this video really helped. You’re absolutely right, I finally spoke up and the result was him leaving. Better that he’s gone than to continue not getting what I need. Cannot thank you enough for this message! 🙏💕
the last part was powerfull. I chose to speak up, confess my feeling to see where I stand cause I dont want to wate my time in a non serious relationship, I knew inside its probably going to lead to a breakup but I still chose to say whats on my mind. He just pulled the triger and showed me I WAS RIGHT! So I'm the one who initiate the breakup by speaking up and staying loyal to myself, my feelings, my needs. Thank you Mathew
Here again in another breakup situation and it hurts so bad not just emotionally but also physically, so painful, this time I need to get through it and fully heal and never get in the same situation again. So difficult to move on when the person i felt was going to be my life long partner leaves. I'll chuck some water spray up my nose and see if it helps, it sounds like it will aslong as I believe ;)
This was everything I needed to hear in so many ways. I've been told a lot recently that I am not a victime in this 'breakup' and to own up to my part in it. Ane I've been so confused, cause he ghosted me. He stopped answering me, so how could I have inflicted that. But I did speak my mind. I did tell him that he hurt me in a way, by doing something that was not okay to me, and initially his reaction was quite positive, wanting to talk about it, but we never did, cause he stopped answering. So yeah, I am not innocent in this. And I will never be sorry for respecting my own boundaries!
You probably lost someone who wasn’t your type, it sounds like. You did the right thing to speak up.
Omg, I went through exactly the same thing 3 months ago after over 1 year with him. I spoke up asking for more commitment, more communication and he said he wasn’t sure. I kinda called it off. Then he emailed me and said he didn’t want to give up and wanted to talk about it. But the actual talk never happened, except the times I pushed him to talk. Now he totally disappeared from my life, except emailing me once in the middle of a night telling me he’s seeing a therapist and asking me when I want my belongings back. I responded. Again, he went into darkness again. Till now, we never had the talk nor he returned my stuff….
I like how you look at it. And I think I should do the same. The pain was excruciating in the past few months that I couldn’t breathe. But I think it’s the time to own up my action and realize I actually wanted to end it even though it still hurts.
@@fishcanon8141 That does sound like a lot. I only had to deal with it for about a month - the whole on and off thing, which makes it all so confusing and the pain so hard to deal with - but after watching this video I realized that my boundaries are important and I'm not going to let someone else make me feel down just because they can't accept my boundaries, and I don't think you should either. Climb the mountain, because you deserve to stand on top of it, with the world at your feet! I'm sorry if you can't get your things though. Hope it was nothing important.
@@amieamie6268 Thank you. Nothing too important. I was secretly hoping to see him again by asking for my stuff but now I really don’t care. I am slowly accepting the fact that it is over and he isn’t right for me. The process isn’t easy but we will get there..❤️
He would always makes me cry. And I think I looked so haggard and stressed during the time I was with him. Thats what I always think, to move on easily.
Guys, Im not trying to get him back, never ever!
I think we need to master a relationship with ourselves first, we matter that much & only we can do that for ourselves.
The point about the person who did not want the breakup feeling the pain imposed upon you is a valid one. However, the reason that the relationship is over is that it is time to think about yourself. When we fail to accept this it is because we are bent on making it with another person but the reality is that the most important person in our lives is our own selves. The end of a relationship is the opportunity for self-growth. It is a "me" time. It is an excellent time! True it is that the selfless side of us will permeate the feeling of loss and wanting to mend up things that we can go through life together with this other person, however, it is totally legitimate and a wonderful opportunity to think about your own self!
Matthew Hussey..my emotions for you haven't changed..I said it before and I am still saying it..
Matthew Hussey..every mother deserves a son like u..every daughter deserves a father like you..every sister deserves a brother like you..every wife deserves a husband like you..every good girl deserves a good man like you..
dont glorify like this, you dont know him in person
That’s creepy
Lol Chill. Doctors smoke eventhough they tell their patients not to
Your user name is God’s Plan. It is not God’s plan for us to idolize any other person. Matthew is a flawed individual like everyone. He’s had bad relationships and is not perfect. Be sure that your ideal man is Christ-like…Jesus alone is our standard.
Omg.. the minute I spoke of my needs, they could not give me answers to my questions and they ghosted.. so in a sense I started the break up.. Thank you Matthew
Falling in love is like entering a war zone. You’re liable to get hurt. Some battles you win, some you lose… but you season and mature, get exposed and gain experience and learn some tricks too as time goes by, or else you’re dead. Survival is the game!
How does this gentleman come up with these kind of insights, comparisons and wisdom. Surely he is called for such a time as this. This not mere mortal.
The pain of a breakup is more so self-disappointment since you would have neglected your own needs, yourself and also you would have made sacrifices to make a relationship work. By accepting that you had made a bad decision to have been with that particular person and starting to instead try making it up to ourselves by taking care of ourselves the best we can, we begin to realize that we can survive the error.
Going through heart break is the worst thing ever.. ive just come out of a relationship with someone with bpd and its one of the worst things ever.. your life is consumed by them and then suddenly they are gone and you feel a huge void..
One of the worst break ups out there to go through..
i have bpd and i wish i worked on it more intensely and consistently so that i didn’t lose my ex
@ginoangeles5260 I think it's tough for anyone with bpd really... its known as one of the most intense and painful mental health issues for a reason.
Keep up with the healing and therapy! 🙂
face the breakup knowing you stood up for your needs. the other party couldnt give what you need or vice versa. its not meant to be. find ways to heal the pain. The recovery may take time. some may realise they recovered sooner than they expected. once recovered, focus on our own mistakes and not to repeat it again. Look for new love and give the "new" best of yourself to the other party.
while we are recovering, we can identify what we want and dont want out of a relationship with reference to the last relationship. Use this criteria to search for the new partner so there will be a better fit. Chemistry alone isnt going to sustain a relationship. It will eventually fizzle out over time, thats normal. Having similar values and goals will help sustain it. With similar values and goals, it serves as a compass to guide both parties towards the it.
Thank you for this video. I can relate to this right now as I am going through a separation and this video couldn't have come at a better time. Sometimes it's just doing things that you know may not fix everything or help you get over what you're going through, but as long as you are taking action and implementing things that make you feel good and gives you a positive mindset can make a huge difference. It might not get rid of the heartbreak or change the situation, but it will help you own it and choose to grow from it.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now...
Dear Matthew - this is the first time in my 40 years of life and relationship expoeriences, that I ever heard something that makes sense in terms of pain of brakeup. Thank you
Matthew hussey changed my life
Matthew, thank you for your work. I don’t know what I would have done without your videos during these difficult times. Heartbreak is extremely devastating
My "boyfriend" tossed me out Saturday night after moving in his ex-wife and 19 year old son into his one bedroom apartment. He literally told her (he thought I wasn't listening) that I didn't matter and he loved her more. He told her he would get me out somehow. I took my dogs, and left that's when I saw her Moving Van literally right behind my car. It hurt so much. I am looking to move on.
I'm so sorry Dorothy. This is terrible. I can't even imagine what you're going through. I think it's great that you're looking to move on and I also think it's ok to allow yourself to feel sad about it and to mourn that relationship. You'll get through this. Sending you much love x
I'm sorry but know you will be GREAT!!! Just take time for you and take care of you physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. You're probably better off without him anyway.
What a twat he was! You'll feel so much better very soon .. promise!
@Precious Maha why in God's name would she want him back after he treated her like crap? That's a crazy idea!!!! Smh
Wow I’m sorry
Holy shit, I cannot tell you how helpful watching these breakup videos has been. They've made me realize, as painful as it is to write out, that breaking up was the best decision for me and my partner after months of trying to resolve our issues. I wanted to believe that they weren't that big a deal and that we could get over them but ultimately a relationship takes two people and no matter how small an issue may seem to you, you can't control other people and their ability to change. To my friends going through a breakup, stay strong. It will get better and there is light at the end of the tunnel. Learn to be on your own again, take the time to heal, and you will become a better person as a result of it. Good luck friends, sending lots of love
Acceptance is a great place to start. Pain can occur if reality doesn’t match up with our expectations. Accepting the variance between the two will bring more pain, but in that pain is healing ❤️🩹 God bless ☮️
I've watched a lot of videos on this as spoken to a lot of friends and no one has phrased it as eloquently and in a way that was so helpful as you did. Thank you so much for this video, I have been struggling for weeks now and I finally have a fresh and uplifting perspective on my situation!
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now...
6 months in blindsided now I'm ready to move on. 😊
Matthew Hussey you are the best. This happened to me this morning. The content in this video is the story of my life. After listening to it, I'm a conqueror because of you.. No more guilt trips for demanding my worthiness and setting boundaries.. Hooray!!! Thanks for sharing incredible wisdom with us ❤
Don't be less because they can't be more.
breaking up with the boyfriend who planned marriage with me made me so slim( craying 3 days) and that's a good thing for me😌
Same here
Yes I strongly believe the positive mind can do wonders.
Focusing on oneself is not easy after a break up but- lets keep going. Cry if you cant handle the pain then keep moving forward.
I like how this stuff applies to nearly every form of an abrupt ending...
Estrangement here. Brutal pain. Extreme feelings of betrayal. Not a lover but a family member. I continued to push on and not allow it to take me down. This individual was very detached from everyone! Can’t see how dumping everyone will ease that. Where you go. There you are.
This makes perfect sense. A lot of how we feel depends on what we choose to believe.
Heaven Phillips, you’re right. We need to renew our minds, pushing away the bad/negative thoughts and replacing them with good , positive ones. One cannot just push away the bad thoughts and leave the mind empty, got to fill it up w good ones, or else the bad thoughts will find their way back to your mind. One way to fill it is with the Word of wisdom of God. Blessings
‘Go into the breakup demanding growth’… love this. I feel like a pound coin just dropped let alone a penny! Thanks Matt
I can recommend you to someone powerful who was able to bring back my ex wife and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems ♥️✅🙏♥️😘
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What'S app him 🙏🙏 🙏
Oh my how fortunate, my bf and I just broke up a few days ago and now I get this video :D
its my first time and it hurts really bad but I've been working on myself and this video just motivated me more. Thank you! :)
Oh my god! Thank you so-so much! I left the toxic relationships with that feeling, but then due to extreme business and tiredness became feeling like a victim. But then again it was my choice in the first place, that has come for several month before I finally got to end this thing. And right now I'm gonna care about myself and live this past in the past!
I love your communication with one another sometimes
Matthew: goes on for 4 minutes
Stephen, while matt is catching some air between sentences: yup
😁 thanks so much, this helps. In my story I am the one ending my relationship, I'm being emotionally abused. I've already tried to break up a month ago but by the end of the conversation he had got me far enough to try and start over. One month later nothing has changed, but I have realized what I'm a victim to. I'm still scared to have the talk and giving in again, and the guilt he makes me feel I'm afraid may keep me from truly healing from this.
So this did really help me. My intention is set straight and I know I will persevere because I want to.
Lena 2905 Any kind of abuse in a relationship is NOT acceptable. It’s a big No, No!!! Blessings
I found one quote extremely meaningful that when we love we make that person soooo special and significant, we suffer from the idea of being away from that person .. if the person loves us but need help then it makes sense to work on tht relationship but if he /she is toxic, narcissist then first thing one should do is to downgrade that person in our eyes..thinking about all the negative things about the guy..
Holy shit wow! This just spoke to me on so many levels that nobody has been ever able to give me in the last year regarding my divorce. I choose this pain!!! Thank you!! 💜
This is amazing thank you! I have been a bit broken but I was the one who walked away and that was a much needed perspective of what it’s like to confront what you need or what you caught them doing and realizing it’s not about you/ it’s them
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....
58yrs here. I chose to leave an 18 yr. Marriage. Have to keep reminding myself of the reasons why I chose to leave.That i wanted something more. I hope that I find that something "more". 😒
You will ❤ some people find true love at 70. Leave your heart open to new possibilities!
I’m gonna start by writing a list of all the ways that my heart break and loss is, and will help me in the future that I am aware of, or can imagine, and then come to a place eventually with the ‘true’ ways it has as I see them. Thank you.
I’m so grateful for your supporting videos 🙏🏻
What do you do if you accept the breakup - that it was mutual and know that you two just weren't the right fit, but can't accept them being totally cut out of your life / no contact... The fact that it was mutual didn't make things any easier for the heartache, we were together for 6 years... :(
Thank you. Even though he broke up with me, he really didn’t give me what I wanted…… at all. Which means I was stuck and just couldn’t get out. So thank you, I’m going to try to see this as an opportunity, even though a part of me is still broken 😬
wow, You are so awesome. i voiced myself and my concerns and it led to a break up. They didn't see any wrong in it and broke up. I feel good though after seeing this video. Because i broke up with them knowing i did not like what i saw and they were not willing to change it or accept accountability. So i stuck to my standards and had something to do with the break up as a result. I feel so much better now. thank you so much for making me feel better. I no longer feel like i'm the one at fault or was the reason for the break up.
My 9 year relationship just ended and I'm so sick it's unbelievable
I’m not even going through a breakup, but I was excited to see that Matt came out with a new video. 💖
I TRULY needed this video. Thank you so much, genuinely. There is an amazing amount of wisdom here. I'm nearly speechless ♥️
Setting a goal and charting a course and stepping on that train in the right direction, is immensely healing in itself. If you find a goal. I’m having some troubles setting a goal because one way would risk my happiness in other ways. You really have to have faith.
They pain It’s temporary just let go😔
I love the concept of accepting that you played a role in the breakup. Made some things fire off in my brain about some conversations that led up to getting cut loose by my ex gf.
In late November, the weekend after my bday, her texting dropped off drastically and I asked if everything was ok with us. She told me she hadn’t noticed how much she’d slowed down in texting me, but she was just depressed but she’d work to be more consistent. And for a minute, she was. But communication continued to decrease from there.
I asked for my needs to be met, and her commitment issues kicked into gear! I could’ve just gone along and hoped to god she’d respond more. I could have poked around in the dark and assumed instead of ever having that conversation. But i would’ve been so anxious and even more unhappy.
I’ve chosen my fate! I contributed to the breakup and I gladly accept that.
Fantastic growth can come from a breakup and luckily it has happened to me. And yes, we broke up because I repeatedly asked to take my needs into account. Now I am so much stronger and happier. Hang in there!!!
Yes I spoke up my needs,I told her to be with me till my last breath and love me
Wow, the message from 14:57 to the end of the video is SO powerful. I’ve watched the video few times and that portion is so empowering. Thanks!
Yes you are correct. After so many yrs I decided to state my needs and he stayed away silent. It hurts and it will take time and suppñet from my clases friends but I know something better is caming my way. Just bc god is leading my way.
Sending you lots of love all the way from Kenya 🇰🇪
THIS is why you’re still the best dating expert around 👏🏻
Yea I was the one who initiate the talk, and it leads to break up. Yeah I take ownership of it. I broke up with them.
Hi Matt,
You are actually there, very much so.
Thank you.
Thank you for describing a breakup as intense and an avalanche.
I love the way you explain the brain.
As well, I love the rat/wheel citation. It's illuminating and gives one much food for thought.
If I'm choosing my struggle...then it's such a great challenge toward empowerment. Your contention with this dilemma is helping me find my way through victimhood.
I know that suffering is an opportunity to become a better person. In that this is suffering that I choose does empower me to embrace it as a challenge right now and take it on.
If I chose this path, this breakup by giving voice to my needs which precipitated my journey then I am the rat on the controlling treadmill.
A breakup can send one into disarray. Thoughts and emotions spray in every direction and it's hard for mere mortals to find cohesion or logic or pattern.
It's like a bottomless pit that is full of darkness and most times you simply resort to patterns of thought and feelings that have guided you in the past coming away with no greater sense of yourself.
Intelligence is pattern recognition and Matt, I'm grateful that you have greater intelligence than the average bear to help me find my way.
Betty
Matthew looks so fresh in this video. So rested
Of all the videos of heartbreak this was the one which hit be heart, and changed my perspective. Thankyou so much Matthew.
I am been heartbroken and the pain is so painful that I felt like I was choking when I swallow but I did heal and I feel like I'm left with scars on my heart ❤️ and I believe you have to find something to do to get your mind off of the pain I became a body builder and stay healthy and even after years of work I don't think I would ever allow myself to love that deeply again
Thank ya 💕 for your help, just so ya 🤗 know I am fine with being honest and single
I wish I could see my relationship differently. The last wk of June, My bf of 6 yrs broke up with me halfway into our vacation. He picked a fight with me and told me to leave. No warning at all. I’m devastated 💔😪. I’m praying daily for gods healing and protection. Will be going to therapy.
The last 2 minutes were a 1:1 description of what I did 3 months ago and literally blew my head clean off🤯🤯🤯
I like how he said unwanted breakup it true when break up happens no one really want to break up. They always see someone better than the person they are with . An breaking up and end up regretting it. That's that emptiness we feel it happens to the best of us. We just keep learning Day by day . An wiser in making decisions.
Loved this video! Crazy how a change in perspective to a certain situation can completely change your feelings about it too. We’re not hanging on for survival, we’re DEMANDING growth from our pain. YES 💪🏼
Therapist and gym does help. Intention is hard in the thick of it.