"Sexuality and needing sex and sexual attention is pretty time consuming." I busted out laughing. Because I've said that in my head for decades. And that was part of my journey of discovering for myself, in the absence of knowing that "asexuality was a thing" as Neal noted, "This thing, sex, isn't super important to me, and I'm having to put up with a lot of BS human behavior, and invest time on dates and apps, when I'd rather be doing a whole bunch of other things." Also, I realized that what I wanted was companionship, community, safe, non-sexual, non-conditional touch. Once I "got" that (awareness) I became more intentional around how to incorporate those dynamics into my life without sex. It is possible.
I love this, and I relate to it. I had twins with a psychopath and ever since I became a single mom I’ve had zero interest in bringing another human into my life that I might be responsible for in any way. Just shut it down. Don’t know if it’s temporary asexuality or if it’ll turn around when my stress levels regulate eventually, but MAN is it a relief not to have to worry about anything that relates to an intimate or sexual relationship. Not interested. And that’s ok
@02:30 I think some people definitely do fit into the label they give themselves and we should let them be as they are but one thing that has helped me is understanding that even though we as humans can definitely fit into labels they are not who we actually are because at the most fundamental level we are simply just being in it’s purest state so why not just simply be? In other words, simply I AM.
It's not about taking on a label. It's about finding a descriptor for your own experience that lets you know that you're not the only one who feels the way you do and that how you feel isn't freakish or wrong.
Because people can be annoying or ignorant and can make it your problem such that you feel like you constantly have to explain yourself which kind of erodes your sanity if you have no way of validating that experience on an intersubjective basis?
This woman makes my heart sing. She is the only person I have been exposed to that echoes how I am and how I feel. I am a 48 year old virgin, all I ever wanted to do is adopt children. I didn't realize how offensive this sentiment is to a lot of people.
My husband is sex crazed(think addicted). He’s in his 70s, i’m in my 60s, he’s retired, dealing with Complications of Diabetes. I commute for work, traffic in both directions. It’s Friday, I get home, exhausted! I see water dripping, I see this, I see that. It’s a nightmare! I am screaming, “you can’t see this, how long has this been leaking… goodness, get some towels, help me out here.” My husband, “So, are you saying that you want to go to the bedroom and put the white noise machine on and make babies?”
Surely it is only possible to be on the spectrum if you have meltdowns and sensory overload? A lot of people nowadays don't even have symptoms and still insist they're on the spectrum.
@@facthunt2facthunt245 when we have lived with it for a long time, we get to know our melting points and how to avoid them. How do you know she doesn't have them unless you live with her? ASD Level 1 is easily hidden, in adults; her lack of eye contact and the way she speaks is a good indicator.
We saw her years ago in Pasadena and we were 4 gay gals and really thought she was gay so i think if she were to be in a relationship i think it would be with a woman
I hate this so much, the assumption that you know others more than they know themselves. I live with people thinking I am a closet lesbian, where in reality I am sex and romance repulsed. Don't want to see anyone's penis OR vagina, and I don't want anyone calling me sweetie.
Poundstone is both impressed by the proliferation of labels but doesn't think we need labels. In the 90s people would say things like I'm not this or that I'm just me, [state name] . Well, that ship has really, really sailed. We're inundated with more labels than ever. Ironically, youth are having less sex than ever too! One could say creating labels *has become* the new sex 😂
Comments be like: "I never realized the issues that caused my lifelong fears and failures over parenting and relationships is just ASEXUALITY!" "My car doesn't need muffler repair...it just likes to make noise!"
Ha Neil’s face after the “that’s sad” exchange about his Mom at 7:08 is like “um, WTF?” - So is Paula’s life “sad” then? I just find something off about this lady. Skeletons in her closet wouldn’t surprise me.
I've never met this woman in person and her personality is such that we would never tolerate each other in any way, yet I wouldn't mind just listening to her talk about things for a day because they're just so atypical of anyone I know.
That's not really indicative of anything except that she was accused of something. The legal system is a game. Plea bargaining is a weird aspect of a very peculiar game that has nothing to do with truth or fairness.
@@tahiyamarome If I'd been accused of that, I wouldn't have taken a plea bargain. Some kind of petty theft if I was innocent and I thought they had a convincing case, maybe, but not a lewd act with a child.
@@tahiyamarome and labeling, a coworkers husband was pulled over, personal photos found in his vehicle of them/her nude were listed in the paperwork as pornography.😮. So dressing/bathing could be labeled wrong, just an example.
@@Meta.Empress This is generally why these kind attempts at a mic drop comment generally fall flat for me. There's always more to the story. As out good friend Ted Lasso likes to say, "Be curious, not judgemental."
I was so-so about sex for a long time. Then at 55, that desire vanished completely. I don't want to complicate my life. However, I love Paula Poundstone. But not enough to hang out with the cats. I'll pop over for the annual ping-pong party! But I can't stay long.
She denies the claims, has had no further issues, and got her adopted kids back. In all likelihood she didn't actually do the thing. She never had enough clout to get away with molestation. Is it possible she was an abuser, yes. Likely? No. It's hard to get adopted kids back.
Far more likely for me to believe that some cop or prosecutor tried to turn a drunk driving with kids incident into something worse for the purpose of harsher sentencing. I have no idea if that's the case or not, but I find it just as likely to be true as her actually molesting those children seeing as how there's never been a word about it regarding rumors or scandals outside of that one single incident.
@@sillyslambo8527 Yeah, but why doesn’t THIS 8-minute excerpt include him asking the question she’s already answered a bajillion times? Why doesn’t EVERY excerpt of EVERY interview??? 😆
People used to just say frigid. Especially in the medical profession. I might end up calling myself frigid because the label of asexual is so misunderstood/unknown to most folk.
I don’t see how you can separate Romantic feelings and sexuality. You can be attracted to someone as a friend, as a spouse, as a sexual partner. There is no logical purpose for romantic feelings if the endgame as a species isn’t to have children. “I will tell you when I figure it out.” Is a much better answer than “I am the ultimate genderless oddity who does not need man nor woman.” That is scary and delusional.
@Sleeping But she doesn't need woman or man. She's done okay without them so far. I don't see how that would make someone a genderless oddity. Secondly, if there is no purpose for romantic feelings if the couple doesn't procreate then you must be discriminating against the gays as well.
@@facthunt2facthunt245I’m not calling anyone a genderless oddity. I am saying that having no interest in sex does not make you a genderless oddity. What does that have to do with being gay? If anything, homosexuality enforces the idea that sex and romance are the same thing. Even with the wrong plumbing they have still found a way to have sex and try to procreate. We have seen other animals have same sex relationships when the opposite sex is not available.
"Sexuality and needing sex and sexual attention is pretty time consuming." I busted out laughing. Because I've said that in my head for decades. And that was part of my journey of discovering for myself, in the absence of knowing that "asexuality was a thing" as Neal noted, "This thing, sex, isn't super important to me, and I'm having to put up with a lot of BS human behavior, and invest time on dates and apps, when I'd rather be doing a whole bunch of other things." Also, I realized that what I wanted was companionship, community, safe, non-sexual, non-conditional touch. Once I "got" that (awareness) I became more intentional around how to incorporate those dynamics into my life without sex. It is possible.
I cant remember who made the joke but i love: "kids dont ever stop being dependents, they just stop being deductible"
I love this, and I relate to it. I had twins with a psychopath and ever since I became a single mom I’ve had zero interest in bringing another human into my life that I might be responsible for in any way. Just shut it down. Don’t know if it’s temporary asexuality or if it’ll turn around when my stress levels regulate eventually, but MAN is it a relief not to have to worry about anything that relates to an intimate or sexual relationship. Not interested. And that’s ok
At age 50 I found out asexuality was a thing. It explained everything.
💜age 46 for me
I was in my 30s.
Yeah, 58, here.
55 when I found out
Age 61 for me.
“And then you owe them money” 😂😂😂
I treat labels like beacons rather than boundaries. I find it helps with the mind-closing effect.
Fuck if i don't fully embrace people bein' their own thing, without having to entertain a single other person's opinions, questions, or comments
Or label.
child of the 80s i grew up with Paula Poundstone....assumed she was closet gay back then, but asexual makes more sense
@02:30 I think some people definitely do fit into the label they give themselves and we should let them be as they are but one thing that has helped me is understanding that even though we as humans can definitely fit into labels they are not who we actually are because at the most fundamental level we are simply just being in it’s purest state so why not just simply be? In other words, simply I AM.
PAULAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! Holy moly, thank you for having her on!
For me, it's no ones business. You dont go up to people and say "who do you have sex with?" So why tell anyone. None of anyones business.
Why take on a label at all. Just be human in all it's randomness and variety.
You are allowed to not take on a label but it can be useful to take one on. Your choice.
It's not about taking on a label. It's about finding a descriptor for your own experience that lets you know that you're not the only one who feels the way you do and that how you feel isn't freakish or wrong.
Because people can be annoying or ignorant and can make it your problem such that you feel like you constantly have to explain yourself which kind of erodes your sanity if you have no way of validating that experience on an intersubjective basis?
Human is a label.
Because you get a special unicorn flag for it
with a name like Poundstone
Lady comedians have x rated names. Nikki Glazer, Whitney Cummings, Whoopi Goldberg, etc...
@@bigmo10 Nicki Minaj
I first heard Paula poundstone on a pop tarts comedy video in the late 90s, maybe early 2000s. Shes a gem
I needed the name because I always felt out of sync with everyone else.
i wonder how many asexual women are out there who are in same sex companionship relationships calling themselved gay
Like half.....more than you think
This woman makes my heart sing. She is the only person I have been exposed to that echoes how I am and how I feel. I am a 48 year old virgin, all I ever wanted to do is adopt children. I didn't realize how offensive this sentiment is to a lot of people.
My 💭 is autism..
asexuality and lack of sexual attraction or low sexual interest is overrepresented in people with autism
Paula’s right! Have a professional measure and order and install your window treatments. The most important thing you’ll hear today.
If you read the bottom of her Wikipedia page, you'll understand why she doesn't like Wikipedia. Lol
JESUS CHRIST
Right?!
Jesus. I wonder what the charges actually were. They sealed those documents, which sucks.
and AA..
Right? Many wikis are very well sited.
Michael Scott scored some Paula Poundstone tickets on the office. Lol
Labels will paint you into a corner.
Did the host used to play Bud Bundy?
No
My husband is sex crazed(think addicted). He’s in his 70s, i’m in my 60s, he’s retired, dealing with Complications of Diabetes. I commute for work, traffic in both directions.
It’s Friday, I get home, exhausted! I see water dripping, I see this, I see that. It’s a nightmare! I am screaming, “you can’t see this, how long has this been leaking… goodness, get some towels, help me out here.”
My husband, “So, are you saying that you want to go to the bedroom and put the white noise machine on and make babies?”
I don't know why I insist on reading the comments when I know..... never read the comments.
She strikes me as having Asperger's (ASD Level 1). Im 1.
Surely it is only possible to be on the spectrum if you have meltdowns and sensory overload? A lot of people nowadays don't even have symptoms and still insist they're on the spectrum.
@@facthunt2facthunt245
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK557548/
@@facthunt2facthunt245 when we have lived with it for a long time, we get to know our melting points and how to avoid them. How do you know she doesn't have them unless you live with her? ASD Level 1 is easily hidden, in adults; her lack of eye contact and the way she speaks is a good indicator.
Paula is my fave!
Wasn't she arrested a couple times, charged, and plead out for lewd acts with multiple children under 14? I think it was 2001 and 2014 or something.
Easy to Google to find out about this if you want to know rather than asking in public.
If "House MD" has taught us anything, it's that asexuality is caused by a benign pituitary tumor.
😂
😂
That's about as much medical expertise as I'd expect from House.
Nothing wrong with my pituitary & I’m definitely asexual! It’s not a sickness 😂
We saw her years ago in Pasadena and we were 4 gay gals and really thought she was gay so i think if she were to be in a relationship i think it would be with a woman
I hate this so much, the assumption that you know others more than they know themselves. I live with people thinking I am a closet lesbian, where in reality I am sex and romance repulsed. Don't want to see anyone's penis OR vagina, and I don't want anyone calling me sweetie.
paula is awesome
No wonder she’s my favorite!
Poundstone is both impressed by the proliferation of labels but doesn't think we need labels.
In the 90s people would say things like I'm not this or that I'm just me, [state name] . Well, that ship has really, really sailed. We're inundated with more labels than ever. Ironically, youth are having less sex than ever too! One could say creating labels *has become* the new sex 😂
Ace ❤
Legend.
God I love her. She’s the best
Roman shades are very tricky, please do it properly. May I suggest JC Penny. I’m not kidding. You can get very good Roman Shades.
Asexual does not mean homosexual
She lost me at the Roman shade haha
Agree--in the 20 years she's been putting this off, Ikea started selling motorized blinds. (Procrastination pays off sometimes!)
Ive recently come out as ace. I’m divorced now. But its probably for the best
Are you a crawlspace ace?
Saw her act at a comedy club in the Boston area years ago, she was great!
Comments be like:
"I never realized the issues that caused my lifelong fears and failures over parenting and relationships is just ASEXUALITY!"
"My car doesn't need muffler repair...it just likes to make noise!"
Ha Neil’s face after the “that’s sad” exchange about his Mom at 7:08 is like “um, WTF?” - So is Paula’s life “sad” then?
I just find something off about this lady. Skeletons in her closet wouldn’t surprise me.
What I learned in the comments: the line between "sociopathic incel" and "asexual autism" is if people think you vote the right way.
I've never met this woman in person and her personality is such that we would never tolerate each other in any way, yet I wouldn't mind just listening to her talk about things for a day because they're just so atypical of anyone I know.
She took a plea bargain on a "lewd act with a child."
That's not really indicative of anything except that she was accused of something. The legal system is a game. Plea bargaining is a weird aspect of a very peculiar game that has nothing to do with truth or fairness.
@@tahiyamarome If I'd been accused of that, I wouldn't have taken a plea bargain. Some kind of petty theft if I was innocent and I thought they had a convincing case, maybe, but not a lewd act with a child.
@@tahiyamarome and labeling, a coworkers husband was pulled over, personal photos found in his vehicle of them/her nude were listed in the paperwork as pornography.😮. So dressing/bathing could be labeled wrong, just an example.
I think it was an accusation of a bitter ex and taking the plea was the only way to see her children again
@@Meta.Empress This is generally why these kind attempts at a mic drop comment generally fall flat for me. There's always more to the story. As out good friend Ted Lasso likes to say, "Be curious, not judgemental."
Lol who knew asexual is a super 👌 power
I was so-so about sex for a long time. Then at 55, that desire vanished completely. I don't want to complicate my life. However, I love Paula Poundstone. But not enough to hang out with the cats. I'll pop over for the annual ping-pong party! But I can't stay long.
No shade but Bruce Jenner could've just said he was Paula Puondstone and avoided the entire need to transition.🤷♂️
So many women think they area d very few men. That sbould tell you a lot more.
Androgynous
Didn't she mess with an under aged girl?
Paula Poundstone 2001 Lewd conduct on a child under 14. Ask about that
She denies the claims, has had no further issues, and got her adopted kids back. In all likelihood she didn't actually do the thing. She never had enough clout to get away with molestation. Is it possible she was an abuser, yes. Likely? No. It's hard to get adopted kids back.
Far more likely for me to believe that some cop or prosecutor tried to turn a drunk driving with kids incident into something worse for the purpose of harsher sentencing. I have no idea if that's the case or not, but I find it just as likely to be true as her actually molesting those children seeing as how there's never been a word about it regarding rumors or scandals outside of that one single incident.
But... Why ? Do you know how interviews work?
Wikipedia warrior thinks he uncovered some hidden secret even though Neil mentioned it at the start of the podcast
@@sillyslambo8527
Yeah, but why doesn’t THIS 8-minute excerpt include him asking the question she’s already answered a bajillion times? Why doesn’t EVERY excerpt of EVERY interview??? 😆
I don’t know if people knew there was a word with the definition or the definition of the word
People used to just say frigid. Especially in the medical profession. I might end up calling myself frigid because the label of asexual is so misunderstood/unknown to most folk.
Yet she has kids??
Do you have to be sexual to have kids?
Ace people are still capable of having s*x, especially if it's for a purpose.
‘Sex is God’s practical joke on us.’ - Bette Davis
Being asexual doesn't necessarily mean you don't have romantic relationships. It only literally means that you don't do sex
Almost. Actually they might go through the act of sex for their partner. It's not something they crave, but they'll do it for the person they love.
Demisexual
I don’t see how you can separate Romantic feelings and sexuality. You can be attracted to someone as a friend, as a spouse, as a sexual partner.
There is no logical purpose for romantic feelings if the endgame as a species isn’t to have children.
“I will tell you when I figure it out.” Is a much better answer than “I am the ultimate genderless oddity who does not need man nor woman.” That is scary and delusional.
@Sleeping
But she doesn't need woman or man. She's done okay without them so far. I don't see how that would make someone a genderless oddity. Secondly, if there is no purpose for romantic feelings if the couple doesn't procreate then you must be discriminating against the gays as well.
@@facthunt2facthunt245I’m not calling anyone a genderless oddity. I am saying that having no interest in sex does not make you a genderless oddity.
What does that have to do with being gay? If anything, homosexuality enforces the idea that sex and romance are the same thing. Even with the wrong plumbing they have still found a way to have sex and try to procreate. We have seen other animals have same sex relationships when the opposite sex is not available.
It must suck not to have something to get off to.
If Paula claims "asexuality" then why does she wear a ring on the left ring finger?
What’s that got to do with it?
Imo you can wear a ring anywhere these days.
Because you touch yourself at night.
I'm ace too but I don't wear a ring or any jewellery.
Being ace doesn't inherently mean aromantic
Boutique sexuality: Just another American consumer "good." Too much money, too much time, too much self obsession.
I am old.... I remember when Paula was funny....... Of course that was back before the arrest and she could watch kids then..........
So asexual that the only pounding done is on stone...
Paula pound stone fails
🫶💯precisely - ace is a spectrum too, also went through the motions of playing MASH etc 😅😊 ahhh youth