I think it was 2009, I got into a lolita community after admiring the fashion for so long, I was poor and about 13yo, even managed to get "adopted" by a godmother who was a sweetheart guro lolita that only wore handmade outfits. Spent like three months running thrift stores in brazil to find a doll dress and lace ruffled cardigan that matched the sillhouette, my mom gifted me high quality lace gloves from some deceased relative, I customized the whole damn outfit (plus a hideous handmade mini top hat) and posted low quality pictures at the forum just to get so fucking roasted by the himes that i literally never tried it again. Like the outfit really suck but my rich girl ichigo hime made sure I'd never give another shot 😂
Omg, I'm also Brazilian and I was also 13yo in 2009. It was my DREAM to be a lolita (it still is!), but I have never tried it because I didn't have any money and I saw how poorly treated beginners were.
The knees rule and shoulder rule were never actually rules. The knees rule specifically was the western lolitas mistranslated an interview. The petticoat is still a huge rule. As the silhouette is what really makes lolita stand out. I think you could argue how much poof you needed, but its still needed. Ita really seems like its been phased out.
the japanese comm is also relatively strict, just in different ways from the western comm. you don't outright criticize someone to their face in japanese culture, even online, unless you're entirely anonymous; as such you have anonymous forums much like cgl here in the west but in person people will be polite but maybe distant if they deem your coord bad. gothic lolita is also kinda considered separate/its own thing- like, there's lolita, encompassing classic and sweet, and there's gothic lolita. so a lot of gothic lolita might break more rules in japan because it's not really lolita in the same way as classic or sweet. finally, you do have some online japanese lolita fashion content creators like hamukahamu who do very blatantly break a lot of 'rules' and conventions, but they're very much in the minority, and i've heard they do cause some controversy in japan similar to how some large experimental lolitas can cause controversies in the west just trying to give some more context for the japanese side of things; a lot of western lolitas tend to think of japan as the promised land, as so much more ahead of us and more free, think they don't care and everything we have in the west are rules we made up, but honestly they're a lot more like us than most people realize
I definitely remember sewing my first couple of 'coords', curling my hair and posting photos on a lolita facebook page in 2019-2020 and (among the list of things I should improve on) being told I should at least buy a wig and one good pair of proper lolita shoes (I had decorated black ballet flats). I was really discouraged at the time and stopped trying to join the lolita community, but I did get lots of compliments at the supermarket whenever I wore that outfit! It's nice to hear people are a bit more chill these days. As a side note, at the time I couldn't afford to buy a wig, but if my attempts at styling my own hair was such a traversty I don't know how they were expecting my wig styling skills to be any better lol
I'm from California: you are gonna see my shoulders. It is hot in summer. I got posted to CGL by someone in my comm because they were envious and decided racism was the move (I am Black and Cherokee) instead of dealing with their feelings in therapy. They later got pushed out for being a bummer. Not because they brought a firearm to a meetup in a public park. APPARENTLY THAT WAS FINE. So anyway I don't post photos of myself anymore and my wife who I met here on youtube because of this hobby got bullied out by her comm (she's European so...that sucks tbh). I wear this style every day to work. Toned down/corporate but it's still EGL. After almost a decade I finally am feeling OK with someone taking my pics again because they're serious about making me look good and a professional. I took all my stuff down when I found out I wound up in an LLM dataset that had...problem content in it. That image was stolen too from whatever that one Facebook group is where you post outfits (I forgot the name tbh). I wish things weren't so awful in the past but I hope everyone finds community. I've left but still enjoy this style.
The got kicked for being a bummer but not for posting you 😭😭 so weird why would they keep them after that - but why would them carrying be an issue ? If they have a ccw license there should be no issues, my friends and I always carry even to meetups and no one even knows when we do
I remember posting my first lolita coord on LJ, I think it was daily_lolita? I can't remember how old I was, maybe 14 or 15 and I was so happy to finally be able to put something together after being into the fashion since I was like 11. I bought a handmade skirt off of egl sales, and I had a vintage blazer that I thought went well with it. The response I got was "That's not lolita", and it made me feel so bad. I had a petti, I felt like I was doing things right after studying the fashion for so many years already and to be shot down immediately by people who regularly posted their full brand coords it was like, why even bother if I don't have brand? This was the early 2000s and it wasn't easy to get since I was fully a kid still. So, I never posted again and I haven't really been active in local communities, but I still love and wear lolita 20+ years later. I'm glad people are more accepting nowadays but it was really bad back then, as you said.
I love learning about in-community gatekeeping because it is always wild and often so petty. Maybe it is because I am a big, gay, weirdo but the idea of telling someone who clearly tried on a fit that they look bad hurts my heart. :(
Hi ! Well, I wasn't aware of the term and all but I recently got into Gothic/Kuro lolita style that I wear alongside my more usual goth style but needless to say, as I'm too broke to get a bloomer (yet) I'm essentially combining a very ruffly skirt with victorian-inspired tops or button ups, I recently bought a second hand very ruffly JSK from GLP and it does kind of give the silhouette even when I don't put the ruffly skirt under, I also made my own headpiece which is extremely simple (a black headband with white lace trim) but still does the job and I really like to wear loafers or New Rock platforms with it because I just vibe with it but this made me realize how dumb people can be and, not gonna lie, I'm really afraid to be called an "ita" for that, not to mention I'm planning to dye my hair unconventional colours and that they are shorter than shoulder-lengh.... I'm from France and a friend of a friend's wife got roasted so badly for making her own dresses that she gave up on lolita and knowing that, I am extremely stressed over the fact that I would really want to make my own designs (I'm a sewstress btw) and customize some pieces... Hopefully I have a friend how is a Sweet lolita and she's always supportive and wants to make her own designs as well, she also customizes a lots of her JSKs so... well at least I'm not alone but I'm still nervous
Thanks to the existence of the book, im not allowed to talk about lolita around my dad because he doesn’t even try to listen to my explanation. (He doesn’t listen to anything i tell him about anything, especially my disabilities)
Definitely think we should stick to rules and guidelines HOWEVER being completely rude about it is not the way to go. I hate getting online and people are rudely telling people about their coords and such, you’re just scaring them out of the comm. It’s so many ways to go about it and cost nothing to be nice
I used to lurk the egl LJ community as a young teenager, I remember for a period of time just white lace on a black dress was considered ita. Nowadays I see that look coveted as old school lolita style/y2k fashion has come back into style.
oh my god the way how smooth the cuts are between the two videos you mix in is just so satisfying to both see and hear. amazing work. I'm about halfway through the video, but just wanted to leave the comment anyway. amazing work overall
Thank you for this video ! Teen me begged my parents for a gothic lolita dress from Milanoo because we couldn’t afford a brand dress. i had no wigs and my only accessories were from Hot Topic. I never posted photos one because of my low self esteem and two because I was terrified of being seen as an Ita. Now at 27 I have one genuine brand dress but I wear what I want with it, I have my own style and can go more lolita or more goth depending on the mood 🥰
I've been familiar with lolita fashion since 2012. I don't wear fashion because of personal reasons but I watch lolita content creators and reviews of dresses etc. I find the community a bit toxic but I must admit it got better lately or at least I didn't hear any aggressive calling out and bullying people (who are a little ignorant and dared to wear something more skimpy and call it lolita ) to a point of unaliving thoughts 😅
Absolutely not. You have the advantage of being able to make your own unique pieces. Nothing about that is Ita and unless someone has a valid criticism with the way you constructed something, them calling you “ita” for hand-making things is probably just them being hateful or jealous
the base of alternative fashion is diy, I've never understood the people who say that handmade is ita. it just disregards the whole point of being in an alt fashion community!
Sorry i know its probably obvious but why do so many youtubers apologise for potentially mispronouncing something rather than looking up how to pronounce it? Is it potentially funny content?
I am not American! I am from Germany, I did look it up but I still wasn't sure if I pronounced it right. I am not trying to make it funny, I'm sorry if it came across that way? But I was just trying to say that if it's pronounced wrong that I'm sorry, yk?
@@psina_psina omg first of thank you so much!!! I dont yet have one, planning on getting it eventually. But you can send it to my business email if you want, carolmiku9@gmail.com
I think it was 2009, I got into a lolita community after admiring the fashion for so long, I was poor and about 13yo, even managed to get "adopted" by a godmother who was a sweetheart guro lolita that only wore handmade outfits. Spent like three months running thrift stores in brazil to find a doll dress and lace ruffled cardigan that matched the sillhouette, my mom gifted me high quality lace gloves from some deceased relative, I customized the whole damn outfit (plus a hideous handmade mini top hat) and posted low quality pictures at the forum just to get so fucking roasted by the himes that i literally never tried it again. Like the outfit really suck but my rich girl ichigo hime made sure I'd never give another shot 😂
Omg, I'm also Brazilian and I was also 13yo in 2009. It was my DREAM to be a lolita (it still is!), but I have never tried it because I didn't have any money and I saw how poorly treated beginners were.
The knees rule and shoulder rule were never actually rules. The knees rule specifically was the western lolitas mistranslated an interview. The petticoat is still a huge rule. As the silhouette is what really makes lolita stand out. I think you could argue how much poof you needed, but its still needed. Ita really seems like its been phased out.
Agreed!! Although I have seen people being criticised for it, but I guess it was as u said a misunderstanding. Petticoat I agree is pretty important!!
the japanese comm is also relatively strict, just in different ways from the western comm. you don't outright criticize someone to their face in japanese culture, even online, unless you're entirely anonymous; as such you have anonymous forums much like cgl here in the west but in person people will be polite but maybe distant if they deem your coord bad. gothic lolita is also kinda considered separate/its own thing- like, there's lolita, encompassing classic and sweet, and there's gothic lolita. so a lot of gothic lolita might break more rules in japan because it's not really lolita in the same way as classic or sweet. finally, you do have some online japanese lolita fashion content creators like hamukahamu who do very blatantly break a lot of 'rules' and conventions, but they're very much in the minority, and i've heard they do cause some controversy in japan similar to how some large experimental lolitas can cause controversies in the west
just trying to give some more context for the japanese side of things; a lot of western lolitas tend to think of japan as the promised land, as so much more ahead of us and more free, think they don't care and everything we have in the west are rules we made up, but honestly they're a lot more like us than most people realize
I definitely remember sewing my first couple of 'coords', curling my hair and posting photos on a lolita facebook page in 2019-2020 and (among the list of things I should improve on) being told I should at least buy a wig and one good pair of proper lolita shoes (I had decorated black ballet flats). I was really discouraged at the time and stopped trying to join the lolita community, but I did get lots of compliments at the supermarket whenever I wore that outfit! It's nice to hear people are a bit more chill these days.
As a side note, at the time I couldn't afford to buy a wig, but if my attempts at styling my own hair was such a traversty I don't know how they were expecting my wig styling skills to be any better lol
I'm from California: you are gonna see my shoulders. It is hot in summer.
I got posted to CGL by someone in my comm because they were envious and decided racism was the move (I am Black and Cherokee) instead of dealing with their feelings in therapy. They later got pushed out for being a bummer. Not because they brought a firearm to a meetup in a public park. APPARENTLY THAT WAS FINE.
So anyway I don't post photos of myself anymore and my wife who I met here on youtube because of this hobby got bullied out by her comm (she's European so...that sucks tbh).
I wear this style every day to work. Toned down/corporate but it's still EGL. After almost a decade I finally am feeling OK with someone taking my pics again because they're serious about making me look good and a professional. I took all my stuff down when I found out I wound up in an LLM dataset that had...problem content in it. That image was stolen too from whatever that one Facebook group is where you post outfits (I forgot the name tbh).
I wish things weren't so awful in the past but I hope everyone finds community. I've left but still enjoy this style.
The got kicked for being a bummer but not for posting you 😭😭 so weird why would they keep them after that - but why would them carrying be an issue ? If they have a ccw license there should be no issues, my friends and I always carry even to meetups and no one even knows when we do
FIREARMS?? 😭 😢
I remember posting my first lolita coord on LJ, I think it was daily_lolita? I can't remember how old I was, maybe 14 or 15 and I was so happy to finally be able to put something together after being into the fashion since I was like 11. I bought a handmade skirt off of egl sales, and I had a vintage blazer that I thought went well with it. The response I got was "That's not lolita", and it made me feel so bad. I had a petti, I felt like I was doing things right after studying the fashion for so many years already and to be shot down immediately by people who regularly posted their full brand coords it was like, why even bother if I don't have brand? This was the early 2000s and it wasn't easy to get since I was fully a kid still. So, I never posted again and I haven't really been active in local communities, but I still love and wear lolita 20+ years later. I'm glad people are more accepting nowadays but it was really bad back then, as you said.
I love learning about in-community gatekeeping because it is always wild and often so petty. Maybe it is because I am a big, gay, weirdo but the idea of telling someone who clearly tried on a fit that they look bad hurts my heart. :(
Hi ! Well, I wasn't aware of the term and all but I recently got into Gothic/Kuro lolita style that I wear alongside my more usual goth style but needless to say, as I'm too broke to get a bloomer (yet) I'm essentially combining a very ruffly skirt with victorian-inspired tops or button ups, I recently bought a second hand very ruffly JSK from GLP and it does kind of give the silhouette even when I don't put the ruffly skirt under, I also made my own headpiece which is extremely simple (a black headband with white lace trim) but still does the job and I really like to wear loafers or New Rock platforms with it because I just vibe with it but this made me realize how dumb people can be and, not gonna lie, I'm really afraid to be called an "ita" for that, not to mention I'm planning to dye my hair unconventional colours and that they are shorter than shoulder-lengh....
I'm from France and a friend of a friend's wife got roasted so badly for making her own dresses that she gave up on lolita and knowing that, I am extremely stressed over the fact that I would really want to make my own designs (I'm a sewstress btw) and customize some pieces... Hopefully I have a friend how is a Sweet lolita and she's always supportive and wants to make her own designs as well, she also customizes a lots of her JSKs so... well at least I'm not alone but I'm still nervous
Thanks to the existence of the book, im not allowed to talk about lolita around my dad because he doesn’t even try to listen to my explanation. (He doesn’t listen to anything i tell him about anything, especially my disabilities)
wth that's so horrible im sorry :c
Definitely think we should stick to rules and guidelines HOWEVER being completely rude about it is not the way to go. I hate getting online and people are rudely telling people about their coords and such, you’re just scaring them out of the comm. It’s so many ways to go about it and cost nothing to be nice
I really enjoy your rants! As an aspiring Loli, it really gives me courage.
I used to lurk the egl LJ community as a young teenager, I remember for a period of time just white lace on a black dress was considered ita. Nowadays I see that look coveted as old school lolita style/y2k fashion has come back into style.
Guidelines are GUIDES, jp people are wayyyy ahead of western in the fashion and it shows when you follow both
oh my god the way how smooth the cuts are between the two videos you mix in is just so satisfying to both see and hear. amazing work. I'm about halfway through the video, but just wanted to leave the comment anyway. amazing work overall
@qurti5949 thank you so so much!! That means a lot😭🫶🏻
Thank you for this video ! Teen me begged my parents for a gothic lolita dress from Milanoo because we couldn’t afford a brand dress. i had no wigs and my only accessories were from Hot Topic. I never posted photos one because of my low self esteem and two because I was terrified of being seen as an Ita.
Now at 27 I have one genuine brand dress but I wear what I want with it, I have my own style and can go more lolita or more goth depending on the mood 🥰
I've been familiar with lolita fashion since 2012. I don't wear fashion because of personal reasons but I watch lolita content creators and reviews of dresses etc. I find the community a bit toxic but I must admit it got better lately or at least I didn't hear any aggressive calling out and bullying people (who are a little ignorant and dared to wear something more skimpy and call it lolita ) to a point of unaliving thoughts 😅
your makeup is really cool!
I hand make all my pieces does that mean I'm an ita?
Absolutely not. You have the advantage of being able to make your own unique pieces. Nothing about that is Ita and unless someone has a valid criticism with the way you constructed something, them calling you “ita” for hand-making things is probably just them being hateful or jealous
it makes you insanely cool, dedicated, and talented imo
the base of alternative fashion is diy, I've never understood the people who say that handmade is ita. it just disregards the whole point of being in an alt fashion community!
Well ain't that a kick in the head? Hey Carol machine boy 2009 here, nice video
@joaogabrieldesouza2975 hey, thank you!!
Seeing the weakest in ur com getting posted on /egl/ was so toxic. I do not miss that big ita troll energy era.
Kinda off topic but is that a fursuit head in the background? Like on the pink outfit
Sorry i know its probably obvious but why do so many youtubers apologise for potentially mispronouncing something rather than looking up how to pronounce it? Is it potentially funny content?
I am not American! I am from Germany, I did look it up but I still wasn't sure if I pronounced it right. I am not trying to make it funny, I'm sorry if it came across that way? But I was just trying to say that if it's pronounced wrong that I'm sorry, yk?
Some may have forgot to look it up, it’s no big deal. Plus some may look it up and still struggle with pronouncing!
Ita neko looks good tho
Sometimes i wear dont bluse somtimes no poof its ok. Its how you style it ^^ and google look at 2000s era its beautiful era ❤
idek what an ita is but i guess im gonna find out
ahh i love ur looks!!
good video !!!
@@DerKl0wn thank you so much!!
this is awesome!
@@Subtextied thank youuu
heyyy thats a cool video!!!
do you have a bluesky maybe? id like to draw something for ya cause i think you look gorgeous but i dont have a tiktok or an insta account...
@@psina_psina omg first of thank you so much!!! I dont yet have one, planning on getting it eventually. But you can send it to my business email if you want, carolmiku9@gmail.com