Just an overview of my journey through life with mental illness from the beginning to today. Sorry for the length, it's my brains fault. It doesn't think quickly enough anymore. :-P
Hi I found your video's while doing a search for bipolar mania to try to better understand my husband's illness. And I must say thank you by the way for your courage to post these video's and give people a look into the life of a young man living and dealing with bipolar. A little bit of back round about my husband and I is he was diagnosed 2 years ago now at the age of 25 with Bipolar 11, Anxiety disorder, Panic Disorder. And he was then put on medications which made him no longer fit for duty in the Coast Guard, which he had been serving in for 4-5 years prior. Because they don't want you carrying a gun on mood stabilizers. So you suffer in silence, but when you have the courage to reach out and get the treatment you need, they discharge you. Nice Huh? Anyway. So the med board and discharge process took almost a year and a half with all the military doc appointment and evaluations that where necessary after he had already got the diagnoses from his civilian doc's. And I was a little worried about the huge hit to his self-esteem and added stress particularly on a man about losing his job, but he was very optimistic (or seemed to be) about getting out and starting a new job as a maintenance mechanic and using the GI bill to take classes for Mechanical Engineering. He was a Machinery Technician (MK) in the Coast Guard and loves working on machines and engines, cars, and building things, and is very good at it. And I was really worried about this because of the day to day schedule this would look like for him. Working nights and taking classes during the day sounded like a recipe for disaster for someone with bipolar. This would be TOO MUCH for anybody. But he kept trying reassuring me saying "I'll do what ever I have to do to take care of my wife." Which was an amazing show of his dedication to me, but at the some time terrifying to me. Because I was thinking I don't want you to spiral out of control and mentally crush yourself for me... And more recently he has been showing more signs of mania, and unable to sleep, and sometimes fits of rage. He missed a class the other day because he finally got to sleep and didn't wake up in time for a class and it was the 3rd time he had missed it for one reason or another and so he failed the class. And I wasn't mad I knew he wasn't doing well that day and so after I woke him up and we talked about it I let him go back to sleep, until I tried to wake him again around 7or 8 to eat before he have to be to work at 11 that night. But he didn't get up to eat, and then I tried again about 10-15 min before he had to leave because he kept ignoring his alarms. And he just came up off the couch like a bat out of hell and started freaking out, saying he had to do something before work and screaming at me and blaming me saying I never tried to wake him up, and that I am a liar. I tied to tell him I did ( which I know was useless and pointless and only makes things worse because when he is in that state of mind he doesn't hear anything I say, and can't be reasoned with). And screams at me to shut up over and over and over, but wants me to stand and listen as he screams at me all the things I did wrong. As I am standing there with my mouth hanging open almost in tears, cause I don't know what to say or do. I know he loves me and I know he doesn't mean what he says and it doesn't happen all the time but this is an unhealthy definite pattern of behavior between us when he is not doing well. But my question to you is, is his irrational angry out bursts part of the bipolar, stress or both. And how does you wife deal with your anger. I have been told by a friend of mine who is also bipolar that she sometimes will pick a fight with her husband as energy outlet, and that she doesn't want to hurt him but she feels better afterward. But I won't let him treat me like a verbal punching bag. When I try to tell him about it afterward he'll tell me I am overreacting or to sensitive, or worse THAT IT NEVER HAPPEND. Like I'm making it up or something. He has never and will never hit me, but his words hurt worse than if he had. I don't know what to do when this happens because he is such an amazing dedicated man to me the rest of the time.
Hi I found your video's while doing a search for bipolar mania to try to better understand my husband's illness. And I must say thank you by the way for your courage to post these video's and give people a look into the life of a young man living and dealing with bipolar. A little bit of back round about my husband and I is he was diagnosed 2 years ago now at the age of 25 with Bipolar 11, Anxiety disorder, Panic Disorder. And he was then put on medications which made him no longer fit for duty in the Coast Guard, which he had been serving in for 4-5 years prior. Because they don't want you carrying a gun on mood stabilizers. So you suffer in silence, but when you have the courage to reach out and get the treatment you need, they discharge you. Nice Huh? Anyway. So the med board and discharge process took almost a year and a half with all the military doc appointment and evaluations that where necessary after he had already got the diagnoses from his civilian doc's. And I was a little worried about the huge hit to his self-esteem and added stress particularly on a man about losing his job, but he was very optimistic (or seemed to be) about getting out and starting a new job as a maintenance mechanic and using the GI bill to take classes for Mechanical Engineering. He was a Machinery Technician (MK) in the Coast Guard and loves working on machines and engines, cars, and building things, and is very good at it. And I was really worried about this because of the day to day schedule this would look like for him. Working nights and taking classes during the day sounded like a recipe for disaster for someone with bipolar. This would be TOO MUCH for anybody. But he kept trying reassuring me saying "I'll do what ever I have to do to take care of my wife." Which was an amazing show of his dedication to me, but at the some time terrifying to me. Because I was thinking I don't want you to spiral out of control and mentally crush yourself for me... And more recently he has been showing more signs of mania, and unable to sleep, and sometimes fits of rage. He missed a class the other day because he finally got to sleep and didn't wake up in time for a class and it was the 3rd time he had missed it for one reason or another and so he failed the class. And I wasn't mad I knew he wasn't doing well that day and so after I woke him up and we talked about it I let him go back to sleep, until I tried to wake him again around 7or 8 to eat before he have to be to work at 11 that night. But he didn't get up to eat, and then I tried again about 10-15 min before he had to leave because he kept ignoring his alarms. And he just came up off the couch like a bat out of hell and started freaking out, saying he had to do something before work and screaming at me and blaming me saying I never tried to wake him up, and that I am a liar. I tied to tell him I did ( which I know was useless and pointless and only makes things worse because when he is in that state of mind he doesn't hear anything I say, and can't be reasoned with). And screams at me to shut up over and over and over, but wants me to stand and listen as he screams at me all the things I did wrong. As I am standing there with my mouth hanging open almost in tears, cause I don't know what to say or do. I know he loves me and I know he doesn't mean what he says and it doesn't happen all the time but this is an unhealthy definite pattern of behavior between us when he is not doing well. But my question to you is, is his irrational angry out bursts part of the bipolar, stress or both. And how does you wife deal with your anger. I have been told by a friend of mine who is also bipolar that she sometimes will pick a fight with her husband as energy outlet, and that she doesn't want to hurt him but she feels better afterward. But I won't let him treat me like a verbal punching bag. When I try to tell him about it afterward he'll tell me I am overreacting or to sensitive, or worse THAT IT NEVER HAPPEND. Like I'm making it up or something. He has never and will never hit me, but his words hurt worse than if he had. I don't know what to do when this happens because he is such an amazing dedicated man to me the rest of the time.