I once thought Families Can be Together Forever was such a beautiful hymn and a message of hope for all people. Now I see it as a threat - families can be together forever but only if you do exactly what we say.
I was so happy to be able to go to my cousin's wedding this summer. He had a ceremony that anyone could attend, even an unworthy exmo like me. Then, he had a sealing in the temple right afterward. Then, a reception. But back when my siblings got married, I never got to attend all 4 of their weddings. I used to be so embarrassed that I had a civil wedding. But I look back with pride that all of my family could attend (not all active LDS), and even little nieces and nephews were there!
The church definitely discouraged getting married outside the temple and getting sealed later. The even discouraged ring ceremonies for a long time because they wanted the focus to be on the temple. All of the focus must be on the temple, not the couple or the families. They also like to tell stories in lessons about couples who got married outside the temple and planned on getting sealed when they could, and then they would die in a car accident or something and they would emphasize how sad it was that the couple wasn't sealed so they couldnt be together forever. So a marriage isn't even worth it if it's not in the temple
Thank you for speaking about this. I just recently found your podcast. I left the church several years ago and while I have good relationships with my believing family for the most part, I was unable to attend my baby brothers wedding in the temple about a month ago due to not being "worthy." It was and still is extremely painful to not be allowed to witness one of the happiest events of his life. I'm still grieving this experience and coming to terms with the continued exclusion that I feel, despite having good relationships with my believing loved ones.
Before I joined the church way back in 1995, I thought that excluding people from the temple was cold and snotty. Like I wasn't good enough. Fast forward to when I was married in the San Diego temple in 1999, I did that exact same thing to my family. Both my wife and I are converts. My family traveled for hours to be there and my wife's family traveled from England. Yeah we asked them to wait outside so they could be there for the family photos. I had become what I loathed and didn't realize it. We held a little ceremony in our back yard the following day but I think the damage was done. I have recently done a little apology tour telling them all how messed up that was. If I was doing it all over, I would have just held a proper civil wedding ceremony the traditional way and then my wife and I would have gone to the temple by ourselves at a later date.
My wedding day was depressing and stressful, my parent weren't active members, no immediate family were there for me. My parents waited outside while their only daughter was married, i really regret this....
The Mormon church portrays themselves as the all powerful god himself thus causing great harm and pain for everyone. The Mormon Church is a business enterprise with the sole intent of protecting its own monetary interests. The people are simply an annoyance that needs to be put in their place. It’s amazing that some people still put up with this treatment.
Same for me for the last 40 years. Twenty two years ago I had to sit outside my only daughter’s wedding. So much for families being the most important thing.
In my country, there was a penalty that if you wanted a civil ceremony you had to then wait a year to be sealed, even if both parties were worthy. We must be extremely rebellious because we took that route. My husband was a convert and we couldn’t stomach excluding his entire half of the family. I guess this is also why I was considered the eff-up of the family
15:11 My grandparents were forced to pay missing tithing before being allowed to attend my wedding (sealing) in 1987. Horrible thought now so many years later.
@@Faith.unraveled Very sad to think that I didn’t stand up and say anything. But TBM you are right when you say that you have a tendency to look down on people.
I admire you and your husband’s tenacity. To rid yourself of the religious shackles will hopefully lead you folks to a place where you can find peace and enjoy the fruits of your labor. The Truth is out there but definitely not in the Mormon church. Take care my friends.
I was the only one in my immediate family who didn't get married in the temple, and while it initially caused some drama, I'm so happy with that decision. It was so worth it to see loved ones who normally wouldn't be in the temple (we had some nevermos and LGBTQIA folks in our wedding party) there celebrating with us, and our young neices and nephews were so excited to be included in a wedding. It was far more inclusive than any Mormon wedding I had been to.
I waited outside during my sister’s wedding and it just made the whole day feel much less like a celebration. They also had a ring ceremony to include those that couldn’t go to the temple but the emphasis was all about the church! The couple and their relationship was barely mentioned it was all about reminding the unworthy about the temple and the church being the way to “happiness”. It would have been better to not have a ring ceremony.
I've commented on your other videos, but I had a daughter get married in May, and my son will be getting married next month. I'm unable to attend either one. I would choose to leave the church all over again, and knew this would be a part of my exodus. But it still hurts. Especially because my family has zero empathy for my situation, since I "brought this on myself", and could have simply chosen to stay in. But they don't realize that I couldn't. Not really. EDIT: Just heard you read my previous comment. Listening to everyone's experiences surrounding this is so heartbreaking.
My situation was the same as another person's comment you shared. My dad was not able to attend my wedding. I was also an only daughter. I also feel that my dad was a better person that my mother who did attend my wedding. If I could do it over, I would do it differently. I do regret that decision.
Fun fact, if you want to keep your temple recommend for whatever reason, and don’t want your bishop to know how “much” you are donating, you can donate directly to church headquarters.
This has been a sore spot for me. I want to be part of my Mormon family even though I no longer believe. But to get a temple recommend, I have to pay 10k a year and lie my butt off in the worthiness interview (I’m living the principles, I just don’t believe anymore). Being excluded from the temple means being excluded from my family.
Still don't understand since when being baptized and partaking of the sacrament regularly is not enough for a Christian journey of faith. All of a sudden there are repetitive covenants in the temple, degrees of glory, exaltation over salvation...oh and of course the second anointing....no thank you
@@Faith.unraveled the "church" leaders are unworthy & in the church doesn't have eyes 👀 it has a single eye 👁️∆ 💵 they eye of mAMMON It's a D.C.eivers Death Cult Bureau of enGRAVing 🪦 They are blind 🦯 Think see less't you all 🏰 D.C. = de-see= no see= made blind D.C.eived
It’s an easily solution… just have a regular civic wedding then get sealed later. Y’all making it sound like you can’t do both… guess what?… yes you can 🤦
I once thought Families Can be Together Forever was such a beautiful hymn and a message of hope for all people. Now I see it as a threat - families can be together forever but only if you do exactly what we say.
I was so happy to be able to go to my cousin's wedding this summer. He had a ceremony that anyone could attend, even an unworthy exmo like me. Then, he had a sealing in the temple right afterward. Then, a reception. But back when my siblings got married, I never got to attend all 4 of their weddings.
I used to be so embarrassed that I had a civil wedding. But I look back with pride that all of my family could attend (not all active LDS), and even little nieces and nephews were there!
The church definitely discouraged getting married outside the temple and getting sealed later. The even discouraged ring ceremonies for a long time because they wanted the focus to be on the temple. All of the focus must be on the temple, not the couple or the families. They also like to tell stories in lessons about couples who got married outside the temple and planned on getting sealed when they could, and then they would die in a car accident or something and they would emphasize how sad it was that the couple wasn't sealed so they couldnt be together forever. So a marriage isn't even worth it if it's not in the temple
Thank you for speaking about this. I just recently found your podcast. I left the church several years ago and while I have good relationships with my believing family for the most part, I was unable to attend my baby brothers wedding in the temple about a month ago due to not being "worthy." It was and still is extremely painful to not be allowed to witness one of the happiest events of his life. I'm still grieving this experience and coming to terms with the continued exclusion that I feel, despite having good relationships with my believing loved ones.
Before I joined the church way back in 1995, I thought that excluding people from the temple was cold and snotty. Like I wasn't good enough. Fast forward to when I was married in the San Diego temple in 1999, I did that exact same thing to my family. Both my wife and I are converts. My family traveled for hours to be there and my wife's family traveled from England. Yeah we asked them to wait outside so they could be there for the family photos. I had become what I loathed and didn't realize it. We held a little ceremony in our back yard the following day but I think the damage was done. I have recently done a little apology tour telling them all how messed up that was.
If I was doing it all over, I would have just held a proper civil wedding ceremony the traditional way and then my wife and I would have gone to the temple by ourselves at a later date.
My wedding day was depressing and stressful, my parent weren't active members, no immediate family were there for me. My parents waited outside while their only daughter was married, i really regret this....
@@tawnyachristensen7310 what a heartbreak
I’m so sorry that you went through this. I agree that this is awful
The Mormon church portrays themselves as the all powerful god himself thus causing great harm and pain for everyone. The Mormon Church is a business enterprise with the sole intent of protecting its own monetary interests. The people are simply an annoyance that needs to be put in their place. It’s amazing that some people still put up with this treatment.
It's sad, really. Spiritual brainwashing, that is.
I have been excluded from all of my family members weddings. I don’t even get notified when my nieces and nephews get married these days.
Same for me for the last 40 years. Twenty two years ago I had to sit outside my only daughter’s wedding. So much for families being the most important thing.
In my country, there was a penalty that if you wanted a civil ceremony you had to then wait a year to be sealed, even if both parties were worthy. We must be extremely rebellious because we took that route. My husband was a convert and we couldn’t stomach excluding his entire half of the family. I guess this is also why I was considered the eff-up of the family
15:11 My grandparents were forced to pay missing tithing before being allowed to attend my wedding (sealing) in 1987. Horrible thought now so many years later.
Wow 😭
@@Faith.unraveled Very sad to think that I didn’t stand up and say anything. But TBM you are right when you say that you have a tendency to look down on people.
I admire you and your husband’s tenacity. To rid yourself of the religious shackles will hopefully lead you folks to a place where you can find peace and enjoy the fruits of your labor. The Truth is out there but definitely not in the Mormon church. Take care my friends.
I was the only one in my immediate family who didn't get married in the temple, and while it initially caused some drama, I'm so happy with that decision. It was so worth it to see loved ones who normally wouldn't be in the temple (we had some nevermos and LGBTQIA folks in our wedding party) there celebrating with us, and our young neices and nephews were so excited to be included in a wedding. It was far more inclusive than any Mormon wedding I had been to.
I waited outside during my sister’s wedding and it just made the whole day feel much less like a celebration. They also had a ring ceremony to include those that couldn’t go to the temple but the emphasis was all about the church! The couple and their relationship was barely mentioned it was all about reminding the unworthy about the temple and the church being the way to “happiness”. It would have been better to not have a ring ceremony.
I've commented on your other videos, but I had a daughter get married in May, and my son will be getting married next month. I'm unable to attend either one. I would choose to leave the church all over again, and knew this would be a part of my exodus. But it still hurts. Especially because my family has zero empathy for my situation, since I "brought this on myself", and could have simply chosen to stay in. But they don't realize that I couldn't. Not really.
EDIT: Just heard you read my previous comment. Listening to everyone's experiences surrounding this is so heartbreaking.
@@LarsCallahan 💔🙏
My situation was the same as another person's comment you shared. My dad was not able to attend my wedding. I was also an only daughter. I also feel that my dad was a better person that my mother who did attend my wedding. If I could do it over, I would do it differently. I do regret that decision.
@@elizabethrehm470 🙏🙏🙏
Fun fact, if you want to keep your temple recommend for whatever reason, and don’t want your bishop to know how “much” you are donating, you can donate directly to church headquarters.
I couldn’t have any of my family at my wedding. It was so hard.
This has been a sore spot for me. I want to be part of my Mormon family even though I no longer believe. But to get a temple recommend, I have to pay 10k a year and lie my butt off in the worthiness interview (I’m living the principles, I just don’t believe anymore).
Being excluded from the temple means being excluded from my family.
It would be harder to miss a loved ones' sealings if the ceremony wasn't so bland, particularly if you get a narcissistic sealer.
I never experienced a temple marriage. Guess I wasn’t blessed enough to be wanted. But sounds like I didn’t miss much.
No where in the Bible or the book of Mormon is marriage associated with the temple.
Still don't understand since when being baptized and partaking of the sacrament regularly is not enough for a Christian journey of faith. All of a sudden there are repetitive covenants in the temple, degrees of glory, exaltation over salvation...oh and of course the second anointing....no thank you
From my own temple wedding I remember and regret how little of our wedding was about our relationship. The temple marriage is so impersonal and bland.
their not unworthy
@@1god2674 we are unworthy in the eyes of the church.
@@Faith.unraveled
the "church" leaders are unworthy
& in the church doesn't have eyes 👀
it has a single eye 👁️∆ 💵
they eye of mAMMON
It's a D.C.eivers Death Cult
Bureau of enGRAVing 🪦
They are blind 🦯
Think see less't you all 🏰
D.C. = de-see= no see= made blind
D.C.eived
It’s an easily solution… just have a regular civic wedding then get sealed later. Y’all making it sound like you can’t do both… guess what?… yes you can 🤦
That was already explained in the video and knew someone would say this 😆
I have been excluded from all of my family members weddings. I don’t even get notified when my nieces and nephews get married these days.
This is crushing, I’m so sorry