My ex gf was definitely HPD. I have the deepest sympathy for the guy she married and has children with. When her mask finally comes off, he's in for the shock of his life. I wish him well.
had a fling with a untreated Borderliner ... she had an arrested mental age of 2, but was good in hiding it , however logically she was very intelligent . When her mask came off , she acted like a 6 year old , even spoke with a thin girl child voice
@@asharajbhar1176they only ever have guy friends for one. Any female friends are only of the barest acquaintances type. Usually one of these guy “friends” ends up being your replacement that was plugging her behind your back weeks or months before your discard.
@@asharajbhar1176 they’re all cheaters and little lying cowards. I’ve dated 3 of them and studied the condition for nearly two decades. HPD’s are always riding the carousel behind your back. Always.
This is my mom. She embarrassed me constantly and even took away a lot of my friendships growing up because she would flirt with my friends dads....i was so lonely because of her and got bullied in school. She would cry and throw a fit whenever i would confront her. Haven't talked to her in a year
Yes,this is my bestie. Any time there is a lull in the attention she gets she’ll say stuff like “What’s there to live for if no one is looking at you” & get really depressed. I can’t imagine being that dependent on other people unless you’re an infant.
Mrs. Leblanc, your're depicting and explaining the facts and symptoms of all varieties of PDs so concisely, vividly and expertly well informed, that I'd consider your videos and your channel in general being amongst the very best top of the line channels on RUclips dealing with PD-topics and -issues!
Until I watched this, I was thinking that my ex had BPD tendencies. But this, HPD, is the most accurate description and sadly I noticed/experienced all of these traits in her. Crushed my heart and devalued, discarded me like a piece of rag doll. Now I know why. In a way it is liberating to know the truth. Thank you so much for making these videos and helping so many men out there! Priceless
It is very good that you are able to know the difference between the BPD and HPD diagnosi... that is an upper hand many can not say that they have achieved. In that way, you have helped (even if on some small level) helped to destigmatize mental health disorders. It means you seem to have an open enough mind to see the difference. That was my way of giving a compliment. I hope that helps, if you are having a less than good day. Or even if your day is going well. ~
I was part of the fan club.. Constantly getting breadcrumbs and having the finish line moved just a step further so I wouldn't lose hope. She was jealous whenever I went out with other women, something that I interpreted as romantic interest.. Everything makes so much sense now and I feel blessed that I was not good enough for her. Knowledge is power. Thank you for explaining this in such an approachable way. You don't understand what a difference it makes for my sanity and mental health.
Sounds like a “friend”? I’m just speaking if in a romantic relationship yeah most women or men would be upset if you’re hanging out alone with other women Doesn’t sound the case as sounds like she strung you along forever in the friend zone or a past dissolved relationship.. Also learn from my advice. Men and women can’t really be friends. They either want to be with you or throw you in the forever friend zone for attention. Validation. Approval. Emotional tampon. Free help. Free food. Talk when bored…. It ain’t worth being a woman’s “friend”.
Spot on! #5 was what really hooked me on my ex and what really has been the most difficult to come to terms with. I myself have a high regard for Trust, Integrity and I’m extremely loyal. She sold me on those being a huge part of her own life’s value set. I truly trusted her and believed it to be true but over time her words didn’t match her actions at all as the attention seeking trumped every ounce of any meany behind what it means to build Trust, Integrity and a sense of loyalty for a healthy relationship. I would never react but she pulled #10 a few times on me. It was just so odd to me. I’ve got grown children and even though it would hurt to see I ultimately felt sorry for her like a father would for an insecure child trying to grab your attention.
Yup. The virtue signaling is real in these types of PDs. After awhile it’s easy to see they’re doing quite the opposite. By then you’ve been thru the ringer though
It wasn’t til I watched the depp heard trial and they described hpd that I realized I’ve a sister who must have this. It’s exhausting being around them for longer periods of time. Their need for attention is non stop
Not only women. Rare in men but it happens. My father had HPD as well as some other problems. He was a pain in the ass and could be ridiculous but I had more empathy for him then my mother. He tended to attract predatory women because of his naïveté and need for attention- including my mother- more of a psychopath- narcissist combo. Obviously a very messed up duo.
Yes!!! I worked in the Fine Arts department of the public schools and most of my "male" colleagues behaved like this! They were exhausting drama queens. ...so predictable. Yet all the kids and administrators just loved them because they were so entertaining. It was sickening to me.
May I ask you to describe some of his characteristics for being HPD? I’ve always thought it was more in the flamboyant gays and women… I’m curious to see how it shows in straight men…
Hi Lise, my ex dumped me by text after calling her rude, she caused so much stress over this that I had a seizure. I emailed her to let her know that I was poorly and nothing. I'm so angry I got caught up in all this and she ghosted me like this. Animal. Thanks for the upload.
My ex always talked to me about leaving because of relationship problems, etc. that respect had been lost, blah blah blah. Even though she was the one who yelled at me, she made scenes with me in the street, and called me manipulative, controlling, aggressive, or joked that she was going to find a lover or that I wasn't even happy with sex. I called her a liar, a narcissist and a thousand other things too. fights on whatsapp one day she told me that she wanted to love us better, the next day she told me that she had spoken with a person of great wisdom and wanted to end the relationship, I reacted angrily, she blocked me from all sides, I wrote to her again so that we could at least talk in person, she gave me excuses all December, and even told me that it was better after the New Year holidays, I suffered alone, and she hasn't sent me a message, we haven't seen each other yet. they can be very cruel. in fact I doubt histrionics is a separate disorder, it sounds like narco crap.
Ohhh tell me bout it. Just came out of such a relationship like 2 months ago. And just now realized what I've been dealing with. Even though not all symptoms add up.
I bet she tells people you're a narcissist and gave her PTSD now! I watched my now ex friend Ashley do this,she had no real personality,always had all the answers for everything,but not really,and constantly gaslight him no matter what he said.He looked so confused sometimes and thats how she liked it.I eventually told her about herself,and said maybe she shouldn't take dating advice from Taylor Swifts cat lady self,because she has to break up with men to write songs to stay relevant. Johnny Depp was straight Gangsta for showing everyone that even the can be a target of the most beautiful women can still be wretched,lying,witches,that are actually ruining lives as their life goals!My mom has the denial disorder where she says Amber Heard and Amber Heard isn't pretty,right bc Johnny dates ugly women..pssh! no..
I have recently encountered someone who exhibits these traits in the workplace. I could tell immediately something was off. After 2 days of meeting, I was suddenly their best friend, a gift from God! I received adoring praise on my hair, and clothing that was dramatic and odd. I was quickly but briefly manipulated into thinking they were victimized by mean girls in the office. I then began to see cracks in the many stories they shared. Nearly every conversation left me confused. The sentences were contradictory to each other. It has been the most bizarre interaction I’ve ever had with someone in a professional setting. So much so, that I thought maybe I’m delusional! After seeking others’ experiences with this person, I understand it’s been an issue for years. I now have firm boundaries but it is challenging. The fire storms they create are exhausting, and distracting for everyone. My heart breaks for those living with this disorder who don’t know it and the rejection they must endure because the rest of us need to protect ourselves from them. But you can’t tell them they need to seek psychiatric care without repercussions. Wish I knew a gentle, effective way to help them help themselves. Until then, my walls are up.
fell in love with someone with HPD because i saw right through it, but it was a trauma bond. Years later im still discovering just how deep the rabbit hole was.
How did you break the traumatic bond? My ex broke up with me months ago and I had a really hard time imagining how she used me and that she's already with another man :(
Therapy man if you’re still trying to find the end of the rabbit hole Codependency / childhood wounding therapy would do you well and will all make sense a lot quicker then watching videos and self analysis
@@MrSarkismeet another girl who treats you well, that's what I did. And be the best boyfriend you can. I was with a girl like this and it messed me up but when I met my nos girlfriend, who's a very nice girl, it helped me get over the one who treated me badly
It’s called being a codependent. We had neglect in childhood and end up “people pleasers” so we attract toxic people that we want to take care of to feel validated and lovable. Obviously a toxic person Buffett to find one. Which actually I’d assume half people on the planet suffer from codependency as it stems in childhood not getting needs or attention. And how many people had working parents. ill equipped parents. Parents that said stupid things. Young parents that weren’t mature. Parents suffering from their own addictions or mental disorders. Parents that didn’t want their kids. Parents who thought to say “you better stop or you’re going in time out” “listen to ME”. Very very few people have childhoods with right action and behavior and actually have the knowledge how to validate and respond appropriately to a kids needs. Wants. Love. Attention. Affection. Validation. Feel heard…
@@blacksea1726very cliche. Very in accurate statement as well You would more mean unhealthy men. Men with childhood wounding. Men with codependency. Men with trauma. Men with mental disorders. Men who fall on the autism spectrum. Men who had a checkered childhood. . Tons of healthy people just as there is tons of unhealthy people
Now I’m on the fence. I’ve been diagnosing (yes, I said it) my female partner as suffering from NPD, but HPD seems like a very good diagnosis as well. Thanks for the videos. I’m enjoying your style the more i watch.
Well toxic is toxic man. Yeah it’s that implies to want to know and put your finger on it. I suggest you do that after you leave. You’re safe. And you’ve blocked for for good. Regardless you need some therapy in codependency and childhood wounding ( as we all do who attract toxic people ) so you can get Boundries in place. Stand up for yourself. Learn how to say no. Stand your ground. And leave as the most possible solution as they rarely change or get real therapy help. You’re in for a world of misery as it gets worse as time goes on Maybe check out Darlene lancer books if you wanna explore that route. Excellent researcher and therapist who has done extensive dive into codependency and toxic relationships
My sister has both, NPD and HPD. Please get help. My sister nearly ruined my life had I not healed from Codependency. I tend to attract Cluster B toxic people because of my Narcissistic mother and sister. Search also for Lisa Romano, Richard Grannon and Ross Goldberg. They are all online n wrote books on Codependency.
Narcissistic females can be very provocative too, and cheat, and attention seeking… there is a big debate to cancel HPD and just add it as a subcategory of NPD.
My ex had a terrible upbringing with an alcoholic family and S.A. too, along with emotional neglect and being left alone while the adults partied. That resulted in this type of personality.
John Lennon knew about isolation… People say we got it made Don't they know we're so afraid? Isolation We're afraid to be alone Everybody got to have a home, isolation Just a boy and a little girl Trying to change the whole wide world, isolation The world is just a little town Everybody trying to pull us down, I-isolation I don't expect you to understand After you've caused so much pain But then again, you're not to blame You're just a human, a victim of the insane We're afraid of everyone Afraid of the sun, isolation The sun will never disappear But the world may not have many years, I-isolation
My ex was exactly like that,she was with lots of boys at Sametime, while she was acting like victims, even lied about her everything, like she said she has cancer while she didn't.... Worst part is ,I still cant believe all her words were all lie,and I still grieving over her
I think of Aleister Crowley as a great example of a male HPD. I mean he made an entire religion based on sex magic. Thelema. Plus his ‘women’ were broken by the time he moved on from them. Pretty obvious in my opinion.
I think we all can relate to the complexities of the human condition, if you ask 10 different people who know the same person, you'll get 10 different answers, a good example is a tragedy like a murder, you always hear, "they seemed like such a nice person", do we really know anyone.
If this lady and any manosphere creator (better Bachelor) comes to mind; did a table talk it would open a lot of eyes, answer a ton of questions and heal a lot of men. Thank you for this video ma’am.
I have this. I hate it. I'm extremely successful but still feel the need to tell total strangers bullshit that isn't true for reasons I genuinely don't understand. I feel uncomfortable when things are boring. I'm extremely charming and kind, but over time every single person starts to see me for who I am. I want to change because it's ridiculously embarrassing and I don't want to be like this. I also can't stop repeating memories of a delusional life.
Is there a support group or therapy you could attend, either locally or virtually? Idk about HPD, but I know for other mental and physical health conditions, the best pool to get ideas to try is time and time again other people sharing what worked for their particular situations. Your diagnosis describes a huge part of who you are, but it isn’t you. You are enough. You are worthy. You can grow and practice how you want to be every day. One overlap between HPD and my condition is emotional regulation difficulties. Over the years I have read this and that about emotional regulation strategies, and specifically how the developing child learns emotional regulation. Then I started where I feel like my parents left off, which was much younger than I expected due to their own unresolved childhood traumas and simply ignorance. You need to guide your inner self gently as you grow, just like speaking to a child. Treat yourself with the kindness and basic regard for a child or sick relative in your care. That doesn’t mean it won’t be hard work sometimes. But how you speak to yourself can be transformative, for better or worse. You are whole, and accepting all of yourself, the light and the shadow, is part of healing and living a full life. Learning to work with your patterns instead of against them is empowering, rewarding, and in my case life-saving. I hope you can find ever-increasing pockets of peace, contentment, and authentic passion (not bullshit to win a connection) on your journey. ❤
Emotional regulation and any skills we learn, we have to practice, and at first we won’t be very good and that’s ok. Acceptance and sitting with your feelings without judgement are something else I have had to learn and practice a lot. I call it radical acceptance, but this is a term other people use and I’m not sure if I am using the same definition.
The best "real world" description of HPD I have heard. Describes my Ex-Girlfriend of 2 years perfectly. She hits 7/8 characteristics but will NEVER admit to any of it.
It seems that the relationship with histrionic doesn't last more than 2 3 yes..most of the survivors say they couldn't handle the histrionics more than 2 yrs😁
My wife made an anniversary post on Facebook. We hadn't been together for our anniversary. I wasn't in her friends list. So I never got any notifications for it. I happened to come across it when I was trying to figure out what was going on with her and searching her page. Turns out she had posted to make my kids think she was with me. She was with someone else. It was a really upbeat post. It wasn't for me.
this is amazing .... last year I was dating this exact type of person .... it seems you are describing her in detail, it is almost scary how precise this is ... I wish her new guy and her former guy before me (still hooked) could see this ! I am so lucky I have lost her for good .. and now I have a 17 min video proving it ! thank you !
I’m certain my husband has HPD with overlapping anti-social, borderline and narcissistic traits. Our marriage was a train wreck - I’ve recently uploaded 3 videos on my channel because he literally tried to destroy me and my reputation.
My ex has BPD, not properly treated, and I'm pretty sure after watching this she's also HPD and a covert narcissist maybe full blown NPD; she's a horrible person, finally had the guts to block her on everything tonight after she pushed me one too far.
Have ya cycled back 😂 Takes most people on average 7 times to leave an abusive relationship You need codependency and childhood wounding therapy. If not start diving into some books. Darlene lancer is a great place to start and will all become crystal clear as you read. But therapy is the real driver here. Find a person well versed in codependency and they will amaze you how they can describe your relationship and finish your sentences. 😂
Well... Too hard to get. Trying to understant the differences between all bad boys and girls(cluster B). As far as I got։ 1. Psychopath- Doesn`t care what people think of him/her, goal oriented. No empathy. No self-reflection. Sadistic. 2. Sociopath- crazy psychopath. No empathy. No self-reflection. Sadistic. 3. Malignant narcissist- Does care about what people think of him/her, goal oriented. No empathy, self-reflection. Sadistic. 4. Narcissist (classical or covert)- NEEDS admiration, approval, not very goal oriented. The main goal is getting admiration. Very low level of empathy or self-reflection. Sadistic. Rarely masochistic. Fear of rejection. 5. Histrionic- NEEDS attention no matter good or bad. Not deep but changeable emotions. Empathy, self-reflection are available. More sadistic than masochistic. A princess. Fear of rejection. 6. Borderline (Hi, that`s me)- NEEDS emotional closeness, deep changeable emotions. Empathy, self reflexion are available. Masochistic. Sadistic only when the secondary psycho comes out(when deeply hurt). Black and white thinking. Two fears. Rejection / absorption. The common features for all the cluster B-s_ inner emptiness, love chaos, idealization-devaluation, cheating, manipulations, may be seriously dangerous for other people.
Thank you for the reminders. I let go of my 'project' 2 years ago and will say that giving up alcohol and/or drugs was far easier than going back and forth with this type of personality disorder. I made the mistake of taking her to a nude resort in Temescal Valley to play pickleball, swim, dance, karaoke, and be in nature ala carte. I stayed at the club for six years watching her dance and prance to finally get kicked out for all the behaviors that you mentioned. I knew better and had to learn how to do better. No contact was the solution while recognizing the yellow and red lights within another's personality traits. How empty of me to have been so full of her..
Absolutely. Sorry to hear My dad passed away when I was with my ex. And she flew in and out within a day and was left to deal with her BS along with my dying dad alone. Him passing was level 1 compared to dealing with her which I term level 100 😂 These people will trauma bond you. Play games. Triangulate you. . . If you think someone is toxic. They are.. run and get therapy
Its interesting one of the catagories is "the person with hpd thinks relationships are closer than they actually are." I think its more that they pretend these relationships are super close because thats how they get the other person to give them what they want. They arent actually close with the other person. But pretending they are may benifit them somehow
I'm not sure, other things I've seen suggest they really do believe they are closer than they actually are. Hard to say, I guess, but given they don't really get very close in reality, they probably think they ARE close because it seems close to them, even if it surface level by most people's standards But I'm not a psychologist so don't just believe me
@@thecurrentmomentthat closeness is in their head and it's just for few months..it's very shallow .as soon as some one else give them attention they forget the previous person.the next person is now close to them.and the cycle continues..as much as I hv seen histrionics get bored very quickly in seven eight months.
@@thecurrentmoment I think in their minds they do feel close at that particular moment but that closeness is superficial in nature..it changes very quickly.so yes they do feel that you are actually there best friend.
@@asharajbhar1176 ok thanks, that's what I was getting at The OP said they are pretending (implying they don't actually feel close) but I wasn't sure about that
I spent 11 years with a woman I now believe was histrionic personality disorder. This was reconfirmed when researching her past relationships with a very long history of abuse towards men and false allegations. Men research and know who you're getting involved with and be very very careful with your partners. Men, be safe!
Society needs to stop simping for anything biologically or claiming to be female and start embracing a little equality. I spent a weekend with this one chick who not so slyly incessantly reminded me how easily she could have me arrested, sprinkling it with “the cops will believe me because I’m a woman” always with a big “just kidding” type smile. Needless to say I kept my distance then was discarded because I wasn’t all over her as she apparently wanted. Pure insanity.
Bravo Mrs Lise...with your help I learned a lot, that I did not know that exist in the wold (being married to that person for 15 years) now I am paying the price for being empath. well...
Jasmine Bliss 0 seconds ago 1. Uncomfortable when not centre of attention. Self worth = attention. Full of drama and flirtatious. 2. Never enough getting attention from 1 person or get bored. Discard or withdraw with issues. Breadcrumb u to prevent u from moving on. 3. Her interactions are seductive and sexual using physical appeal. 4. She displays shallow emotions and rapid emotional shift. Full of drama. 5. She speaks superficial and lacking depth. She can adapt her style to anyone lacking facts and details. 6. Her actions do not match her words 7. She exaggerate and dramatised by crying, tantrums etc. 8. She is suggestive yet flaky and easily influenced by others. Forms superficial bonds quickly.
I immediately knew something was wrong with that beautiful lady. It started with unusual deep romantic eye contact, lasting more than appropriate. It was a fun finding out what exactly did not work. I First assumed narcissistic emotional abuse, and reacted with gray rock, it made her almost mad! Following me, begging me to say her "hi"! Later I found out it was rather histrionic pd. Nowadays, I give her "lovely greetings" back, just not to hurt her. It is just fun to observe her behavior.
Ahhh - this added dimension has opened my eyes even more. It reaffirms and strengthens my resolve to ghost her. Wow, I will never be suckered again in taking her out and picking up another $250 dinner tab. I am so happy I invested the time to learn and read about these type of behaviours.
This is my ex. She is on soulmate number 5 at the moment. Only problem is, she's getting older so the looks that she relied on for so long aren't quite as hot. Her most recent wedding is the only one that had to be moved to a CLOSER date. (true)
I find that I have a great amount of empathy and ability to understand the suffering of many of these disorders, since many of them come from a series of root causes (abuse, neglect, etc.) and patterns of behavior (avoidance, lashing out, mimicking, etc.). I also understand that I have a responsibility to myself and society to improve upon my ability to cope with certain things. I have run into many people with disorders and one thing I am grateful that I am well into the learning process of is the laying down of boundaries. I have empathy, but I moderate it when need be, when faced with a strong enough situation, where it would benefit my safety to do so.
It is so hard for me to tell a narcissist and someone with HPD apart. I know LOTS of men who match the HPD criteria but they're more likely to be labeled a narcissist.
Good morning Lise, This platform you got going is amazing. I feel like I’m understanding things a bit better. I do have to watch your video more than one time because there’s so much great information. It may not be the ideal good news but it also depends on who’s listening in on it and where they are in their life. I for one needed to hear this. You take care and stay healthy and safe inside your body 😉🤙🏼
I don't understand how my ex is roaming the streets, his histrionic expressed with delinquency and outlandish display, sometimes randomly picking fights and of course much worse, that man is a menace to society.
How come people like this don’t have the ability to feel shame, regret, or are able to understand the extent of how their actions impact themselves and others?
Short answer. They lack a core identity / self and are in a permanent state of child. Do you recall every action or behavior as a 2 year old? Would you get upset if we had robot humans walking around. You knew they were a robot and did some Fd up things. And then expect an apology. No because it’s a robot and not a human. Basically you’re dealing with a robot in human form. Hate to offend the people but it is what it is. In a nutshell..
@@ssing7113 I think you’re completely right. And something needs to be done about these people. They shouldn’t be allowed to walk around doing the damage they do.
@@COD4JESSEyes they are just like robots..all they need is fuel for day to day working.they never bond to any one..so just better to not be in contact with them at all .
I’ve been researching all of this after a long terrible relationship. It seems Cluster B all goes together. Very Sad and scary. This is what kids should be learning in school. It would have saved me and many others to have the knowledge of these personalities. Get out if you haven’t yet. There is no hope
There has been an explosion of personality disorders over the past 10 years. Every single person I know, without exception, has abandonment fears from mild to severe. While mainly females with HPD make up the vast majority of influencers, TikTok is HPD central. It's so prevalent that I am going to do a video. The misogynistic manosphere targets those with HPD, while they have no clue what they are criticising.
I went to a birthday party at my friend's house once without my wife becasue she all of a sudden didnt feel good and didnt want to go. I took my oldest kid with me and wasnt at the party 30 minutes and the wife of the birthday boy told me that my wife.messaged her and told me to call her. I had over 20 messages and twice as many missed calls. I read the texts first and you can see as you read them that she is spiraling out of control going from "hey" to "why you ignoring me" to "our son broke his leg and you wont answer so my dad is coming to take us to the hospital" i panick and call her and she doesnt answer. I call her dad and he tells me she has no idea what shes talking about becasue hes 1500 miles away in another state. I text her and tell her i called her dad. She finally calls me and i ask her what happened. She just starts screaming non sensical things at me, accusations, telling me I'm a piece of shit and ignoring her on purpose and she cant count on me in an emegency, blah blah blah, i mean it was just insane and she called me in front of everyone because were all close friends and they were all genuinely converned and heard her entire tangent. And this whole time i was so confused by what she was saying and doing and asking her over and over what happened to my kid and she finally answered me and said nothing and hung up and wouldnt answer the phone again. The room was deathly.quiet and everyone was just starung at me feeling sorry for me. It was so embarrassing for me knowing that everyone knew she had made up this story for attention and that she was.off her rocker. This was my first time experiencing this sort of behavior. It wasnt the last time she did it. It was always when least expected and during events i looked forward to. Different stories, car broke down, flat tire, house flooded. None of the things were ever real. Rushed to her aid one of those times (she tricked me dangit) and she wasnt even where she said she was broke down and finally calls me about ten minutes later, says she had bad cell service and that everything was fine and she was almost home! Thats not even the tip of the iceberg of what ive beem through. It was terrible but she was very atttactive and thats how she kept me around. There was never a shortage of under the sheets time.
This explains Diana Ross’s relationship with Michael Jackson.. he kept thinking she was interested in him and he had a chance with her, while she was just stringing him along and basking in the adoration and attention of the most famous star and having him fund her lifestyle, while she did the same to her other exes Berry Gordy, Smokey Robinson while marrying Arne Naess. Flirting with both President Clinton and Michael Jackson on stage during the Presidential inauguration, getting jealous when MJ brought Elizabeth Taylor as his date, she placed herself between them on stage and then had a cat fight with Liz over a front row seat to Michael’s concert. She didn’t want MJ but she could not stand being replaced by Elizabeth Taylor. MJ wrote in his songs “Who is it” and “I’m so blue”, that he gave Diana, money, time, car, house, jewellery and she promised him they would get married and together forever but just suddenly upped and married someone else.. and even after the marriage she still wanted him around in her fan club as he wrote in the song “Leave me alone”. In “Dirty Diana” he wrote “you seduce every man” and on the Glenda tapes he said he suspected Diana was fooling around with other men when he thought he was in a relationship with her. She was always making him jealous and confused and in the end it was too painful as you can hear in the songs “Who is it” and “I’m so blue”. It was also wonderful and magical in the beginning as you can hear in the songs “Remember the Time”, “The way you make me feel”, “Liberian Girl”, “Dangerous”.. She mirrored him, was flirtatious, engaging, enthusiastic and he thought she was the perfect woman for him.
It almost seems like all these disorders are merely symptomatic of humans not knowing how to simply be. Just about every woman I ever dated expressed they had 😢 childhood trauma. I have never once seen these issues get resolved. My natural reaction is to want to heal people I care about. My experience has been I should stop that and simply keep myself centered and giving within my boundaries. My last lady was in therapy for decades. Once, out of the blue, she blurted out, "I am well adjusted!" And just like a stone dropped into a lake, my heart sank. The red flags are everywhere. For some reason red flags alone are rarely enough. It's like a movie where I have to know how it turns out in the end. Thus far, I have no exes who are hostile and usually know when the end is near. It seemed everytime it ended, then only could they move from conflict towards warmth and nostalgia. Life really is surreal when we realize how desperately everyone's trying to cope and how many prey upon that knowledge. I have long ago decided to both blame and forgive myself for everything I dislike in my life. It creates a drive to seek knowledge and wisdom and help wherever I can. Sometimes I doubt myself until the kindness of others smothers me in my times of crisis. That becomes a life-long debt of gratitude. I know no way more effective to live. And still, it is hard 😊🎉
OMG, I realize that my close friend has this, that’s why she always wants to show me her selfie pics after she tries or buys clothes or after going to a salon and she wants me to comment about her looks, if I don’t want to see the pics then she will push me to see them, she constantly needs attentions by saying ohh I’m so pretty today look at me! sometimes she brings a gift then asks something in return directly, not even an hour after (can’t accept me saying no and if say yes then she would do it again & again), always being dramatic, always trying to get the attention focus on her by being loud, extremely friendly and cheerful, speaks in different ways when speaking other languages. When I heard one of the symptoms is still receives money from her ex, my jaws dropped bcoz her ex’s family still gives her money which I never understood why, always cries when talking about her ex after broke up for years, still clinging around her ex life but already dating different guys and after awhile gets bored of them and discarded them, always thinking that she’s a princess, always said that everyone thinks she’s a princess. And what she says usually contradict with the things she said before. Wow! I’m shocked. I thought I’m a bad friend who is ungrateful because she’s so nice and caring but she always pushes my boundaries to fulfill her needs and in the end I felt like she’s a child and I’m her parent. 🥹🥹🥹
Run away.. You will not regret it later..I had a histrionic freind too..I stopped contact..they don't care about anyone.they only care about the attention they can grab from you.. and yes you are her caretaker or parental figure.
Ex had the trifecta of borderline, narcissism, and histrionic pd. She was such a devil. Luckily, I only had to tolerate her for 1 month. But it did cause substantial damage.
My ex used to own a boutique and when we first started dating I was hanging out waiting for him to close up. This woman comes in and ties in a piece of see through lingerie and proceeds to come out of the dressing room wearing it then modeling it for him to get his opinion. That was… awkward. I didn’t feel insecure, just confused, frozen, flummoxed… like “what’s wrong with this chick?!”, and now I know lol. She was overtly sexual and flirting too, and I was sitting 3 feet away from my BF.
How can I get diagnosed? Is this a commonly known disorder? I found about HPD randomly and it really fits me. I'm afraid i would feel awful telling to a therapist about it. As much as i hate to admit it, i have almost all the signs (except the appearance one, im really insecure about how i look) I actually thought i had an awful personality and there was no way to fix it, i was too selfish and that it was just the way i was. Lately im feeling at my WORST and thought i just had a weird, creepy personality, could never have a partner, cant befriend anyone JUST BEACUSE OF MY PERSONALITY. Learning about this at least puts a finger on why im the way i am. There is a REASON why i am like this. Atleast knowing that im not naturally the worst person ever is good. But like... how can i get diagnosed or is there a medicine for this? Im going crazy lately and really want some help.
@@asharajbhar1176 I don't have a real bond with anyone, I just get obsessed with people and then annoy the heck out of them and continue to do so even when they tell me to get away from them out loud to me, i even had one person attack me but i still didnt listen and continued to be close to her all school year. I know people feel awful when i do this but id rather be around someone who hates me than being lonely. Rly selfish thing to do i know im not proud with it either xD
I enjoyed watching this presentation. Sadly, I think I have had a long-running interaction with a person that clearly fits enough of the HPD criteria as listed in DSM-5. P.S. I am NOT a psychiatrist or psychologist.
Johnny Depp is FAAAAAR from being an angel. On the contrary ! He had a malicious pleasure by torturing emotionally Heard by suing her and humiliating her in public for the slightest fault (she wrote that she knew what it was like to suffer from abuse). Now, I do not say that Amber Heard is flawless. Nobody is. But she did not deserved to be treated that way. Neither by Depp nor the public. (Please forgive my mistakes for English is not my first language) ruclips.net/video/IfN9F93xr_g/видео.html
This is a very thorough description of the behavior and underlying pain and lack of self-esteem of this adaptation (I reject the brand "disorder" so casually applied by this disordered society, and prefer to approach with understanding and compassion ). Under the thin skin of these behaviors is often early sexual abuse and severe shaming, and lack of validation for any qualities other than physical appearance or social attention. But yes, the behavior is certainly destructive of everyone around , and EVERYONE is subject to be sacrificed for that next smiling glance from a passing stranger, even if the smile contains more than a trace of embarrassment which won't be noticed. Had to contend with this myself as a kid and paid a huge price for her insatiable need for attention, just now beginning to find some forgiveness, for my own sake.
Thanks for your reply, I hope you got something useful from my comment that will help you or someone else in some way; if nothing else hopefully a reminder that each of us has had to adapt to a dysfunctional world that dishonors parts of our humanity - only through viewing others' behaviors through the lens of their pain, and finding some common ground and compassion can we hope to reduce the intergenerational abuse and cyclical societal trauma that generates these wounds and the harmful defensive behaviors they create. Namaste.
Ha, love your work, I’m getting on a bit now and never married thank god. I know these cluster B syndromes can appear in men as well as women, but can hardly think of any I’ve come across in males. From my personal experience and observation, the hideous events suffered by many male friends and colleagues over the years has been caused by women: acquaintances, girlfriends and wives, with tragic consequences sometimes.
Thank you Lise...what is with me and a beautiful cluster B...lol...I have had a couple of these ... Shallow and vain...not a lot of substance...but have off the charts street smarts...a year long dead end...Lise can these HPD types be cured? They cannot find lasting bonds to people ,things or activities ....and are constantly scrounging for any next path....
I believe that the cluster b personality disorders are very different from each other. I believe now, that a person usually has one of these disorders and it's confusing if someone does not understand the disorder very well. They do have similarities but are very different for different reasons, too. I believe that they have different underlying issues. Like NPD vs BPD. Etc.
So true all these elements, i been to all of them... for example everything can be fine, and then she can cut a little her finger cooking in the kitchen, she is pretty and she will sing to that in the mirror when she put on make up... she will change mod in a seccond from extremely happy to very angry and sad or silent... without any reason...the list is long...She will demand money on the spot !
Another great and important video. Thank You! (have seen essentially all the HPD behavior You are talking about but essentially have been able to avoid that species - less so with some pathological narcissists and ASPD:s but eventually got rid of those parasites as well).
You know that scene in Star Wars episode IV where Luke is flying down that channel on the surface of the Deathstar, and he fires his torpedos and they go down the hole and blow the whole thing to dust? That is this video.
I was married to a man with the same types of symptoms. Not all of these symptoms but a majority of them. Do you find that men with HPD similar to women with HPD?
I didn't really appreciate that complex condition being just "her", but I guess statistics in science and maybe - just maybe - on RUclips is in favour of such a choice. Ok then. My question is where does it come from? Does a person get born with it or is it because of a childhood trauma/schemas(sorry no idea how to write it, English is not my mother tongue) that are internalised during childhood? Would like a bit of an in depth analysis. Thanks!
It comes from traumatic childhood experiences outside the family/home. They initially are very happy children but with a very sensitive and naive outlook. They attract bullying from other children, physical violence (hitting, pushing, dragging), hurtful comments, ostracism, shaming, etc. This type of child becomes extremely psychologically damaged by these attacks. As adults they do not withdraw into themselves, unless alone, instead they overcompensate with needing to be loved by the people around them, who would once bully them. They are not malicious, like other PDs. And their trauma is not family-based, like other PDs, it is external environment-based. These two factors make it easy to diagnose HPD in comparison to other PDs. They usually have a very stable and loving home life during growing up. But when they enter their teens and high school, that’s when the trauma starts, from strangers. It appears to be something that some girls tend to do to other girls. These girl bullies appear to be very toxic to large numbers of other girls and so many women appear to have HPD traits of one form or another. Over 90% of HPDs are women. In men, it appears to be gay men who attract teenage bullying and produces the drama queen type of gay man. Most men with HPD appear to be gay.
@@jedg4746 oh wow, that's so helpful, thank you very much for elaborate description! Would you be willing to advise any other materials for more info in line with what you just provided here? Now I wanna know if there's anything I can do as a parent to try and help out if things go this sad way with otherwise loved and cherished child...
Pardon me for thinking out loud on a public forum. I'm struggling with a relation, and I suspect she is subject to this disorder. Most of the places where I can freely discuss this are subject to exposure to her, and she's already mad at me, I don't want more drama while I think this through. 1. Uncomfortable with situations where he or she is not the center of attention. (Definitely) 2. Interactions with others are often characterized by inappropriate sexually seductive/provocative behavior. (sort of. Exhibitionistic, dresses provocatively and has to outdo other people but is not at all promiscuous.) 3. Displays rapidly shifting and shallow emotions. (No. Tends to stay very rigidly in negative emotions, clasps anger. She does weaponize her emotions.) 4. Uses physical appearance to draw attention to themselves. (Yes. Definitely. But then it can be argued that I do the same, I like me some fancy dresses. "She is thinking that everyone is admiring her when everyone is judging her inappropriate appearance. She thinks they are jealous." That sticks weird with me. I have told her that something she was doing was off only for her to call me jealous. We were kids then, though.) 5. Impressionistic style of speech, lacking detail. Impressive talk does not match behavior. (No. I may not be in a position to evaluate this. She has already long since read me as an audience. In my experience, she tends to speak directly and with, if anything, overstated opinions. She sometimes misreads me and states an overstated opinion at a wholly inappropriate time, such as when she talked about how pleased she was that a city was burning to the ground, and the city happened to be my hometown, and I was currently in it watching the houses of friends incinerate. She was offended that *I* did not adapt to *her* opinion. ) 6. Shows self-dramatization, theatricality, and exaggerated expressions of emotion. (Yes, I think so, though I do not think she is dishonest. She does occasionally "steal the show", but usually simply looks uncomfortable and displeased. She struggles to be happy for other people at big events. ) 7. Suggestable. (Not immediately, she does have some unshakeable convictions that allow her a good core self, but she can adapt that core to whoever has a bigger influence on her. If this results in dissimilitude, she does not recall ever being otherwise. I think ultimately, the answer is yes, but it is not obvious or overstated.) 8. Considers relationships to be more intimate than they actually are. (this is probably easily misinterpreted, She does lack certain boundaries, which does get her in trouble with other people. I think yes.) 9. Very low self-esteem. (yes.) 10. Not necessarily exploitative, but often so when combined with BPD. (She is slightly exploitative. When we were children, she would often try to use her distress or trauma to get me to give her my life savings. She gets things for free out of people pretty readily, including her dog, the car she drove for a long time, that sort of thing. I would not suggest she is always taken care of because of this, but is always in need of being taken care of. I do not think she has anything like BPD) That's 8/10. Bias confirmed, I guess. Now to figure out how to manage someone displaying all this so as to minimize drama.
Ugh. I think my stepmother has HPD or some combo of cluster B…. I remember when she met my 1st “serious” boyfriend (we were 15/16) & started trying to give him “wet willies” the first night they met … there are plenty of way worse things she has done, but that gave me the ick
I was diagnosed by a therapist, but only in passing, and did not receive any treatment. It was just a "side comment", not something I was encouraged to look into further - so I didn't. Soooo what causes HPD? Where did it come from? I've been sober 30 years and taking anti depressants longer than that. I recently started taking meds for anxiety, which helped a lot. But I still feel lonely, friendless (only a very few friends, and I don't feel really close to them), helpless and hopeless. And dramatic, too, as you can tell.
My mother has all these borderline , histrionic, narcissistic. She’s a thrill.
Good lord
Oh yeah. My mom also....
so, cluster B 🤣
Sweet Jesus.
I guess your fathers not there tho
Such an overlooked disorder, they would hate that lol
Pfffff 😂 HAHAHAHA this comment is overlooked 😭
😂😂😂 the irony
lol this made my day 😂
Nice😂
OMG this made me laugh out loud 😂
My ex gf was definitely HPD.
I have the deepest sympathy for the guy she married and has children with.
When her mask finally comes off, he's in for the shock of his life.
I wish him well.
What exactly made you feel she is not loyal..
had a fling with a untreated Borderliner ... she had an arrested mental age of 2, but was good in hiding it , however logically she was very intelligent . When her mask came off , she acted like a 6 year old , even spoke with a thin girl child voice
@@asharajbhar1176they only ever have guy friends for one. Any female friends are only of the barest acquaintances type. Usually one of these guy “friends” ends up being your replacement that was plugging her behind your back weeks or months before your discard.
@@asharajbhar1176 they’re all cheaters and little lying cowards. I’ve dated 3 of them and studied the condition for nearly two decades. HPD’s are always riding the carousel behind your back. Always.
This is my mom. She embarrassed me constantly and even took away a lot of my friendships growing up because she would flirt with my friends dads....i was so lonely because of her and got bullied in school. She would cry and throw a fit whenever i would confront her. Haven't talked to her in a year
She never said sorry to you?
@pabloes.4945
Of course not. People this way do not see anything wrong with what they're doing
And I've only see some of them only apologize only when it benefits them in some way
I've worked in theatre and filmmaking for decades. I've known SO many people with HPD. Acting is very attractive to that personality type.
Probably Marilyn Monroe
I think film attracts many ppl with PD in general. People with entitlement issues bc they self serve soo much in the industry
@@girlinthesouth850 Diana Ross
@@girlinthesouth850you literally never knew that woman please
It's like they are alive only when someone, preferably everyone, is looking at them.
Exhausting!
Just can't imagine a life like this omg...if they are sitting alone they will go in trauma.
Yes,this is my bestie. Any time there is a lull in the attention she gets she’ll say stuff like “What’s there to live for if no one is looking at you” & get really depressed. I can’t imagine being that dependent on other people unless you’re an infant.
Mrs. Leblanc, your're depicting and explaining the facts and symptoms of all varieties of PDs so concisely, vividly and expertly well informed, that I'd consider your videos and your channel in general being amongst the very best top of the line channels on RUclips dealing with PD-topics and -issues!
And she's hot.
💯
Until I watched this, I was thinking that my ex had BPD tendencies. But this, HPD, is the most accurate description and sadly I noticed/experienced all of these traits in her. Crushed my heart and devalued, discarded me like a piece of rag doll. Now I know why. In a way it is liberating to know the truth.
Thank you so much for making these videos and helping so many men out there! Priceless
Can you tell what she did to you ..any incidents which made you realise she has hpd?
It is very good that you are able to know the difference between the BPD and HPD diagnosi... that is an upper hand many can not say that they have achieved. In that way, you have helped (even if on some small level) helped to destigmatize mental health disorders. It means you seem to have an open enough mind to see the difference. That was my way of giving a compliment. I hope that helps, if you are having a less than good day. Or even if your day is going well. ~
I was part of the fan club.. Constantly getting breadcrumbs and having the finish line moved just a step further so I wouldn't lose hope. She was jealous whenever I went out with other women, something that I interpreted as romantic interest.. Everything makes so much sense now and I feel blessed that I was not good enough for her. Knowledge is power. Thank you for explaining this in such an approachable way. You don't understand what a difference it makes for my sanity and mental health.
Sounds like a “friend”?
I’m just speaking if in a romantic relationship yeah most women or men would be upset if you’re hanging out alone with other women
Doesn’t sound the case as sounds like she strung you along forever in the friend zone or a past dissolved relationship..
Also learn from my advice. Men and women can’t really be friends. They either want to be with you or throw you in the forever friend zone for attention. Validation. Approval. Emotional tampon. Free help. Free food. Talk when bored…. It ain’t worth being a woman’s “friend”.
@@ssing7113 you are wring with so many things here.
Eye opening. Thank you. The pain of seeing her do the most ridiculous things to attract attention in front of me is excruciating
Spot on! #5 was what really hooked me on my ex and what really has been the most difficult to come to terms with. I myself have a high regard for Trust, Integrity and I’m extremely loyal. She sold me on those being a huge part of her own life’s value set. I truly trusted her and believed it to be true but over time her words didn’t match her actions at all as the attention seeking trumped every ounce of any meany behind what it means to build Trust, Integrity and a sense of loyalty for a healthy relationship.
I would never react but she pulled #10 a few times on me. It was just so odd to me. I’ve got grown children and even though it would hurt to see I ultimately felt sorry for her like a father would for an insecure child trying to grab your attention.
Thank you for sharing your insights and experience!
@@LiseLeblanc Absolutely! Thank you for such a detailed and solid explanation video. You’re great at what you do Lise!
Yup. The virtue signaling is real in these types of PDs. After awhile it’s easy to see they’re doing quite the opposite. By then you’ve been thru the ringer though
It wasn’t til I watched the depp heard trial and they described hpd that I realized I’ve a sister who must have this. It’s exhausting being around them for longer periods of time. Their need for attention is non stop
blame your parents
It’s exhausting being around someone like this.
@@brendensangster3571for sure
Not only women. Rare in men but it happens. My father had HPD as well as some other problems. He was a pain in the ass and could be ridiculous but I had more empathy for him then my mother. He tended to attract predatory women because of his naïveté and need for attention- including my mother- more of a psychopath- narcissist combo.
Obviously a very messed up duo.
I hope you didn’t inherit one or more of their traits.
Yes!!! I worked in the Fine Arts department of the public schools and most of my "male" colleagues behaved like this! They were exhausting drama queens. ...so predictable. Yet all the kids and administrators just loved them because they were so entertaining. It was sickening to me.
People are much harder on women in general. I detect misogyny in your comments.
May I ask you to describe some of his characteristics for being HPD? I’ve always thought it was more in the flamboyant gays and women… I’m curious to see how it shows in straight men…
Wow I never even knew about this disorder!! The more I watch you, the more I understand just how screwed up my ex was!!
Hi Lise, my ex dumped me by text after calling her rude, she caused so much stress over this that I had a seizure. I emailed her to let her know that I was poorly and nothing. I'm so angry I got caught up in all this and she ghosted me like this. Animal. Thanks for the upload.
My ex always talked to me about leaving because of relationship problems, etc. that respect had been lost, blah blah blah. Even though she was the one who yelled at me, she made scenes with me in the street, and called me manipulative, controlling, aggressive, or joked that she was going to find a lover or that I wasn't even happy with sex. I called her a liar, a narcissist and a thousand other things too. fights on whatsapp one day she told me that she wanted to love us better, the next day she told me that she had spoken with a person of great wisdom and wanted to end the relationship, I reacted angrily, she blocked me from all sides, I wrote to her again so that we could at least talk in person, she gave me excuses all December, and even told me that it was better after the New Year holidays, I suffered alone, and she hasn't sent me a message, we haven't seen each other yet. they can be very cruel. in fact I doubt histrionics is a separate disorder, it sounds like narco crap.
@@MrSarkis Thanks for your efforts. Be strong. ❤️
@@MrSarkis some debate it to be removed and be under NPD expressive dramatic kind.
I was involved with a cluster-b for 2 years and saw histrionic, antisociai, npd & bpd daily...back to back. she was also a psychopath....pure hell.
Ohhh tell me bout it. Just came out of such a relationship like 2 months ago. And just now realized what I've been dealing with. Even though not all symptoms add up.
I bet she tells people you're a narcissist and gave her PTSD now! I watched my now ex friend Ashley do this,she had no real personality,always had all the answers for everything,but not really,and constantly gaslight him no matter what he said.He looked so confused sometimes and thats how she liked it.I eventually told her about herself,and said maybe she shouldn't take dating advice from Taylor Swifts cat lady self,because she has to break up with men to write songs to stay relevant. Johnny Depp was straight Gangsta for showing everyone that even the can be a target of the most beautiful women can still be wretched,lying,witches,that are actually ruining lives as their life goals!My mom has the denial disorder where she says Amber Heard and Amber Heard isn't pretty,right bc Johnny dates ugly women..pssh! no..
I have recently encountered someone who exhibits these traits in the workplace. I could tell immediately something was off. After 2 days of meeting, I was suddenly their best friend, a gift from God! I received adoring praise on my hair, and clothing that was dramatic and odd. I was quickly but briefly manipulated into thinking they were victimized by mean girls in the office. I then began to see cracks in the many stories they shared. Nearly every conversation left me confused. The sentences were contradictory to each other. It has been the most bizarre interaction I’ve ever had with someone in a professional setting. So much so, that I thought maybe I’m delusional! After seeking others’ experiences with this person, I understand it’s been an issue for years. I now have firm boundaries but it is challenging. The fire storms they create are exhausting, and distracting for everyone. My heart breaks for those living with this disorder who don’t know it and the rejection they must endure because the rest of us need to protect ourselves from them. But you can’t tell them they need to seek psychiatric care without repercussions. Wish I knew a gentle, effective way to help them help themselves. Until then, my walls are up.
They don't accept help. they think they are the best. give up. the hestronic form of woman is actually a psychopath.
They cannot be cured, fixed or improved… They are easily superficial in relationship’s….
This is the best video about HPD, it's explanied more accurate and clear than other videos 👏🏻👏🏻
fell in love with someone with HPD because i saw right through it, but it was a trauma bond. Years later im still discovering just how deep the rabbit hole was.
How did you break the traumatic bond? My ex broke up with me months ago and I had a really hard time imagining how she used me and that she's already with another man :(
Therapy man if you’re still trying to find the end of the rabbit hole
Codependency / childhood wounding therapy would do you well and will all make sense a lot quicker then watching videos and self analysis
Same, not sure how to handle it always
@@MrSarkismeet another girl who treats you well, that's what I did. And be the best boyfriend you can. I was with a girl like this and it messed me up but when I met my nos girlfriend, who's a very nice girl, it helped me get over the one who treated me badly
Analyzing the type of people who fall for these types would be interesting as well.
Most men!
It’s called being a codependent. We had neglect in childhood and end up “people pleasers” so we attract toxic people that we want to take care of to feel validated and lovable.
Obviously a toxic person Buffett to find one. Which actually I’d assume half people on the planet suffer from codependency as it stems in childhood not getting needs or attention. And how many people had working parents. ill equipped parents. Parents that said stupid things. Young parents that weren’t mature. Parents suffering from their own addictions or mental disorders. Parents that didn’t want their kids. Parents who thought to say “you better stop or you’re going in time out” “listen to ME”. Very very few people have childhoods with right action and behavior and actually have the knowledge how to validate and respond appropriately to a kids needs. Wants. Love. Attention. Affection. Validation. Feel heard…
@@blacksea1726very cliche. Very in accurate statement as well
You would more mean unhealthy men. Men with childhood wounding. Men with codependency. Men with trauma. Men with mental disorders. Men who fall on the autism spectrum. Men who had a checkered childhood. .
Tons of healthy people just as there is tons of unhealthy people
I dated a woman like this . Absolutely nuts, I finally blocked her on everything.
Best choice I ever made .
Love this comment
Now I’m on the fence. I’ve been diagnosing (yes, I said it) my female partner as suffering from NPD, but HPD seems like a very good diagnosis as well.
Thanks for the videos. I’m enjoying your style the more i watch.
Maybe she has both.
Well toxic is toxic man. Yeah it’s that implies to want to know and put your finger on it.
I suggest you do that after you leave. You’re safe. And you’ve blocked for for good.
Regardless you need some therapy in codependency and childhood wounding ( as we all do who attract toxic people ) so you can get Boundries in place. Stand up for yourself. Learn how to say no. Stand your ground. And leave as the most possible solution as they rarely change or get real therapy help.
You’re in for a world of misery as it gets worse as time goes on
Maybe check out Darlene lancer books if you wanna explore that route. Excellent researcher and therapist who has done extensive dive into codependency and toxic relationships
My sister has both, NPD and HPD. Please get help. My sister nearly ruined my life had I not healed from Codependency. I tend to attract Cluster B toxic people because of my Narcissistic mother and sister. Search also for Lisa Romano, Richard Grannon and Ross Goldberg. They are all online n wrote books on Codependency.
Narcissistic females can be very provocative too, and cheat, and attention seeking… there is a big debate to cancel HPD and just add it as a subcategory of NPD.
Chronic emotional neglect/isolation might be a part of what causes HPD
My ex had a terrible upbringing with an alcoholic family and S.A. too, along with emotional neglect and being left alone while the adults partied. That resulted in this type of personality.
Yes!
I've been bingeing Prof Sam Vaknin very informative.....
John Lennon knew about isolation…
People say we got it made
Don't they know we're so afraid? Isolation
We're afraid to be alone
Everybody got to have a home, isolation
Just a boy and a little girl
Trying to change the whole wide world, isolation
The world is just a little town
Everybody trying to pull us down, I-isolation
I don't expect you to understand
After you've caused so much pain
But then again, you're not to blame
You're just a human, a victim of the insane
We're afraid of everyone
Afraid of the sun, isolation
The sun will never disappear
But the world may not have many years, I-isolation
My ex was exactly like that,she was with lots of boys at Sametime, while she was acting like victims, even lied about her everything, like she said she has cancer while she didn't....
Worst part is ,I still cant believe all her words were all lie,and I still grieving over her
I think of Aleister Crowley as a great example of a male HPD. I mean he made an entire religion based on sex magic. Thelema. Plus his ‘women’ were broken by the time he moved on from them. Pretty obvious in my opinion.
Thanks for explaining the differences between HPD and BPD.
I think we all can relate to the complexities of the human condition, if you ask 10 different people who know the same person, you'll get 10 different answers, a good example is a tragedy like a murder, you always hear, "they seemed like such a nice person", do we really know anyone.
If this lady and any manosphere creator (better Bachelor) comes to mind; did a table talk it would open a lot of eyes, answer a ton of questions and heal a lot of men.
Thank you for this video ma’am.
I see you met my x wife
X is an amazing letter😅good for you and best of luck on the future
Sorry to hear that bro, how did she lose you?
Put her out of her misery, and yours.
@cdrom 16 she would beat my kids but the court send her for classes 🙄 I just gave her money she gave me kids
Good for you, Jeff, and especially your kids. I tried the same and unfortunately didn’t get the same positive result.
Glad someone made a vidoe of her with HPD and not BPD, My mother was HPD and while they have over laps HPD is very specific.
I have this. I hate it. I'm extremely successful but still feel the need to tell total strangers bullshit that isn't true for reasons I genuinely don't understand. I feel uncomfortable when things are boring. I'm extremely charming and kind, but over time every single person starts to see me for who I am. I want to change because it's ridiculously embarrassing and I don't want to be like this. I also can't stop repeating memories of a delusional life.
Is there a support group or therapy you could attend, either locally or virtually? Idk about HPD, but I know for other mental and physical health conditions, the best pool to get ideas to try is time and time again other people sharing what worked for their particular situations.
Your diagnosis describes a huge part of who you are, but it isn’t you. You are enough. You are worthy. You can grow and practice how you want to be every day. One overlap between HPD and my condition is emotional regulation difficulties. Over the years I have read this and that about emotional regulation strategies, and specifically how the developing child learns emotional regulation. Then I started where I feel like my parents left off, which was much younger than I expected due to their own unresolved childhood traumas and simply ignorance.
You need to guide your inner self gently as you grow, just like speaking to a child. Treat yourself with the kindness and basic regard for a child or sick relative in your care. That doesn’t mean it won’t be hard work sometimes. But how you speak to yourself can be transformative, for better or worse.
You are whole, and accepting all of yourself, the light and the shadow, is part of healing and living a full life. Learning to work with your patterns instead of against them is empowering, rewarding, and in my case life-saving.
I hope you can find ever-increasing pockets of peace, contentment, and authentic passion (not bullshit to win a connection) on your journey. ❤
Emotional regulation and any skills we learn, we have to practice, and at first we won’t be very good and that’s ok. Acceptance and sitting with your feelings without judgement are something else I have had to learn and practice a lot. I call it radical acceptance, but this is a term other people use and I’m not sure if I am using the same definition.
@@Ann963 thank you tremendously. Your advice and kindness means a lot to me. I appreciate you.
The best "real world" description of HPD I have heard. Describes my Ex-Girlfriend of 2 years perfectly. She hits 7/8 characteristics but will NEVER admit to any of it.
It seems that the relationship with histrionic doesn't last more than 2 3 yes..most of the survivors say they couldn't handle the histrionics more than 2 yrs😁
My wife made an anniversary post on Facebook. We hadn't been together for our anniversary. I wasn't in her friends list. So I never got any notifications for it. I happened to come across it when I was trying to figure out what was going on with her and searching her page. Turns out she had posted to make my kids think she was with me. She was with someone else. It was a really upbeat post. It wasn't for me.
😬😬😬 yikes
Now listening to this..I think I have HPD 😨
Oh shit, well to be fair HPD not really known for bring self-aware... but go see a therapist just in case 😉
Describing theatre people - many actors/actresses. Also some musicians.
Could be other public figures, business or the arts.
My public awaits...
this is amazing .... last year I was dating this exact type of person .... it seems you are describing her in detail, it is almost scary how precise this is ... I wish her new guy and her former guy before me (still hooked) could see this ! I am so lucky I have lost her for good .. and now I have a 17 min video proving it ! thank you !
When did she start devaluing you?? After how many months..what exactly suffocated you to be with her?
I’m certain my husband has HPD with overlapping anti-social, borderline and narcissistic traits. Our marriage was a train wreck - I’ve recently uploaded 3 videos on my channel because he literally tried to destroy me and my reputation.
My ex has BPD, not properly treated, and I'm pretty sure after watching this she's also HPD and a covert narcissist maybe full blown NPD; she's a horrible person, finally had the guts to block her on everything tonight after she pushed me one too far.
Good for you! Hang in there!
@@michellek649 yeah, it's hard though 😭
@@bluewombat I know. It gets easier. Stay strong. ❤🩹
@@michellek649 thank you, I hope so.
Have ya cycled back 😂
Takes most people on average 7 times to leave an abusive relationship
You need codependency and childhood wounding therapy. If not start diving into some books. Darlene lancer is a great place to start and will all become crystal clear as you read. But therapy is the real driver here. Find a person well versed in codependency and they will amaze you how they can describe your relationship and finish your sentences. 😂
Well... Too hard to get.
Trying to understant the differences between all bad boys and girls(cluster B). As far as I got։
1. Psychopath- Doesn`t care what people think of him/her, goal oriented. No empathy. No self-reflection. Sadistic.
2. Sociopath- crazy psychopath. No empathy. No self-reflection. Sadistic.
3. Malignant narcissist- Does care about what people think of him/her, goal oriented. No empathy, self-reflection. Sadistic.
4. Narcissist (classical or covert)- NEEDS admiration, approval, not very goal oriented. The main goal is getting admiration. Very low level of empathy or self-reflection. Sadistic. Rarely masochistic. Fear of rejection.
5. Histrionic- NEEDS attention no matter good or bad. Not deep but changeable emotions. Empathy, self-reflection are available. More sadistic than masochistic. A princess. Fear of rejection.
6. Borderline (Hi, that`s me)- NEEDS emotional closeness, deep changeable emotions. Empathy, self reflexion are available. Masochistic. Sadistic only when the secondary psycho comes out(when deeply hurt). Black and white thinking. Two fears. Rejection / absorption.
The common features for all the cluster B-s_ inner emptiness, love chaos, idealization-devaluation, cheating, manipulations, may be seriously dangerous for other people.
That was my old boss. That girl was a manipulative nightmare on two legs.
This was a perfect thorough breakdown.
For some reason I really think AH has more narcissistic traits or ASPD traits rather than histrionic. Just due to the lack of empathy alone.
Thank you for the reminders. I let go of my 'project' 2 years ago and will say that giving up alcohol and/or drugs was far easier than going back and forth with this type of personality disorder. I made the mistake of taking her to a nude resort in Temescal Valley to play pickleball, swim, dance, karaoke, and be in nature ala carte. I stayed at the club for six years watching her dance and prance to finally get kicked out for all the behaviors that you mentioned. I knew better and had to learn how to do better. No contact was the solution while recognizing the yellow and red lights within another's personality traits. How empty of me to have been so full of her..
It happens
Best nude resort is in private with your sweet patootie ❤️🍀☮️🙏
Absolutely. Sorry to hear
My dad passed away when I was with my ex. And she flew in and out within a day and was left to deal with her BS along with my dying dad alone. Him passing was level 1 compared to dealing with her which I term level 100 😂
These people will trauma bond you. Play games. Triangulate you. . .
If you think someone is toxic. They are.. run and get therapy
Its interesting one of the catagories is "the person with hpd thinks relationships are closer than they actually are."
I think its more that they pretend these relationships are super close because thats how they get the other person to give them what they want. They arent actually close with the other person. But pretending they are may benifit them somehow
I'm not sure, other things I've seen suggest they really do believe they are closer than they actually are. Hard to say, I guess, but given they don't really get very close in reality, they probably think they ARE close because it seems close to them, even if it surface level by most people's standards
But I'm not a psychologist so don't just believe me
@@thecurrentmomentthat closeness is in their head and it's just for few months..it's very shallow .as soon as some one else give them attention they forget the previous person.the next person is now close to them.and the cycle continues..as much as I hv seen histrionics get bored very quickly in seven eight months.
@@asharajbhar1176 so do you think they believe they are close or do you think they know they are not close and are pretending to achieve some outcome?
@@thecurrentmoment I think in their minds they do feel close at that particular moment but that closeness is superficial in nature..it changes very quickly.so yes they do feel that you are actually there best friend.
@@asharajbhar1176 ok thanks, that's what I was getting at
The OP said they are pretending (implying they don't actually feel close) but I wasn't sure about that
I think my sister-in-law had that. Seductive, fond of embarrassing people, ton of makeup, and she was jealous of her own newborn son.
I spent 11 years with a woman I now believe was histrionic personality disorder. This was reconfirmed when researching her past relationships with a very long history of abuse towards men and false allegations.
Men research and know who you're getting involved with and be very very careful with your partners. Men, be safe!
Society needs to stop simping for anything biologically or claiming to be female and start embracing a little equality.
I spent a weekend with this one chick who not so slyly incessantly reminded me how easily she could have me arrested, sprinkling it with “the cops will believe me because I’m a woman” always with a big “just kidding” type smile. Needless to say I kept my distance then was discarded because I wasn’t all over her as she apparently wanted. Pure insanity.
men can be histronic too, just less likely to get diagnosed
Bravo Mrs Lise...with your help I learned a lot, that I did not know that exist in the wold (being married to that person for 15 years) now I am paying the price for being empath. well...
Jasmine Bliss
0 seconds ago
1. Uncomfortable when not centre of attention. Self worth = attention. Full of drama and flirtatious.
2. Never enough getting attention from 1 person or get bored. Discard or withdraw with issues. Breadcrumb u to prevent u from moving on.
3. Her interactions are seductive and sexual using physical appeal.
4. She displays shallow emotions and rapid emotional shift. Full of drama.
5. She speaks superficial and lacking depth. She can adapt her style to anyone lacking facts and details.
6. Her actions do not match her words
7. She exaggerate and dramatised by crying, tantrums etc.
8. She is suggestive yet flaky and easily influenced by others. Forms superficial bonds quickly.
I immediately knew something was wrong with that beautiful lady. It started with unusual deep romantic eye contact, lasting more than appropriate. It was a fun finding out what exactly did not work. I First assumed narcissistic emotional abuse, and reacted with gray rock, it made her almost mad! Following me, begging me to say her "hi"! Later I found out it was rather histrionic pd. Nowadays, I give her "lovely greetings" back, just not to hurt her. It is just fun to observe her behavior.
Ahhh - this added dimension has opened my eyes even more. It reaffirms and strengthens my resolve to ghost her. Wow, I will never be suckered again in taking her out and picking up another $250 dinner tab. I am so happy I invested the time to learn and read about these type of behaviours.
This is my ex. She is on soulmate number 5 at the moment. Only problem is, she's getting older so the looks that she relied on for so long aren't quite as hot. Her most recent wedding is the only one that had to be moved to a CLOSER date. (true)
There’s little revenge more enjoyable than watching such a woman lose the only thing she has. It crushes their soul and is priceless.
Masterpiece... Masterpiece... Thanks a lot.
Moving forward, is what your content helps me with. Thanks!
I have had at least 4 friends who I suspect had this . Two males and two females. Cluster Bs seem to find me to 😕
I find that I have a great amount of empathy and ability to understand the suffering of many of these disorders, since many of them come from a series of root causes (abuse, neglect, etc.) and patterns of behavior (avoidance, lashing out, mimicking, etc.). I also understand that I have a responsibility to myself and society to improve upon my ability to cope with certain things. I have run into many people with disorders and one thing I am grateful that I am well into the learning process of is the laying down of boundaries. I have empathy, but I moderate it when need be, when faced with a strong enough situation, where it would benefit my safety to do so.
I Definitely had allot of those girls. They love to make you Jealous and love every man's attention. It was a nightmare 🤢
It is so hard for me to tell a narcissist and someone with HPD apart. I know LOTS of men who match the HPD criteria but they're more likely to be labeled a narcissist.
There's a lot of overlap with all PDs.
Good morning Lise,
This platform you got going is amazing. I feel like I’m understanding things a bit better. I do have to watch your video more than one time because there’s so much great information. It may not be the ideal good news but it also depends on who’s listening in on it and where they are in their life. I for one needed to hear this. You take care and stay healthy and safe inside your body 😉🤙🏼
Unreal accuracy, i didn’t know the girl I just left had such a clearly understood personality disorder
I don't understand how my ex is roaming the streets, his histrionic expressed with delinquency and outlandish display, sometimes randomly picking fights and of course much worse, that man is a menace to society.
How come people like this don’t have the ability to feel shame, regret, or are able to understand the extent of how their actions impact themselves and others?
Short answer. They lack a core identity / self and are in a permanent state of child. Do you recall every action or behavior as a 2 year old?
Would you get upset if we had robot humans walking around. You knew they were a robot and did some Fd up things. And then expect an apology. No because it’s a robot and not a human.
Basically you’re dealing with a robot in human form.
Hate to offend the people but it is what it is. In a nutshell..
@@ssing7113 I think you’re completely right. And something needs to be done about these people. They shouldn’t be allowed to walk around doing the damage they do.
@@ssing7113 Oh. And by the way, thanks for putting it so clearly and bluntly. I needed to hear that.
@@COD4JESSEyes they are just like robots..all they need is fuel for day to day working.they never bond to any one..so just better to not be in contact with them at all .
I’ve been researching all of this after a long terrible relationship. It seems Cluster B all goes together. Very Sad and scary. This is what kids should be learning in school. It would have saved me and many others to have the knowledge of these personalities. Get out if you haven’t yet. There is no hope
How do these women have friends?
Hello, thank you for the illumination. May I ask whether this disorder is related to neurosis?
There has been an explosion of personality disorders over the past 10 years. Every single person I know, without exception, has abandonment fears from mild to severe. While mainly females with HPD make up the vast majority of influencers, TikTok is HPD central. It's so prevalent that I am going to do a video. The misogynistic manosphere targets those with HPD, while they have no clue what they are criticising.
The last girl i fell in love with is like this. Gonna unfollow her.
I went to a birthday party at my friend's house once without my wife becasue she all of a sudden didnt feel good and didnt want to go. I took my oldest kid with me and wasnt at the party 30 minutes and the wife of the birthday boy told me that my wife.messaged her and told me to call her. I had over 20 messages and twice as many missed calls. I read the texts first and you can see as you read them that she is spiraling out of control going from "hey" to "why you ignoring me" to "our son broke his leg and you wont answer so my dad is coming to take us to the hospital" i panick and call her and she doesnt answer. I call her dad and he tells me she has no idea what shes talking about becasue hes 1500 miles away in another state. I text her and tell her i called her dad. She finally calls me and i ask her what happened. She just starts screaming non sensical things at me, accusations, telling me I'm a piece of shit and ignoring her on purpose and she cant count on me in an emegency, blah blah blah, i mean it was just insane and she called me in front of everyone because were all close friends and they were all genuinely converned and heard her entire tangent. And this whole time i was so confused by what she was saying and doing and asking her over and over what happened to my kid and she finally answered me and said nothing and hung up and wouldnt answer the phone again. The room was deathly.quiet and everyone was just starung at me feeling sorry for me. It was so embarrassing for me knowing that everyone knew she had made up this story for attention and that she was.off her rocker. This was my first time experiencing this sort of behavior. It wasnt the last time she did it. It was always when least expected and during events i looked forward to. Different stories, car broke down, flat tire, house flooded. None of the things were ever real. Rushed to her aid one of those times (she tricked me dangit) and she wasnt even where she said she was broke down and finally calls me about ten minutes later, says she had bad cell service and that everything was fine and she was almost home! Thats not even the tip of the iceberg of what ive beem through. It was terrible but she was very atttactive and thats how she kept me around. There was never a shortage of under the sheets time.
This explains Diana Ross’s relationship with Michael Jackson.. he kept thinking she was interested in him and he had a chance with her, while she was just stringing him along and basking in the adoration and attention of the most famous star and having him fund her lifestyle, while she did the same to her other exes Berry Gordy, Smokey Robinson while marrying Arne Naess. Flirting with both President Clinton and Michael Jackson on stage during the Presidential inauguration, getting jealous when MJ brought Elizabeth Taylor as his date, she placed herself between them on stage and then had a cat fight with Liz over a front row seat to Michael’s concert. She didn’t want MJ but she could not stand being replaced by Elizabeth Taylor. MJ wrote in his songs “Who is it” and “I’m so blue”, that he gave Diana, money, time, car, house, jewellery and she promised him they would get married and together forever but just suddenly upped and married someone else.. and even after the marriage she still wanted him around in her fan club as he wrote in the song “Leave me alone”. In “Dirty Diana” he wrote “you seduce every man” and on the Glenda tapes he said he suspected Diana was fooling around with other men when he thought he was in a relationship with her. She was always making him jealous and confused and in the end it was too painful as you can hear in the songs “Who is it” and “I’m so blue”. It was also wonderful and magical in the beginning as you can hear in the songs “Remember the Time”, “The way you make me feel”, “Liberian Girl”, “Dangerous”.. She mirrored him, was flirtatious, engaging, enthusiastic and he thought she was the perfect woman for him.
It almost seems like all these disorders are merely symptomatic of humans not knowing how to simply be.
Just about every woman I ever dated expressed they had 😢 childhood trauma.
I have never once seen these issues get resolved.
My natural reaction is to want to heal people I care about.
My experience has been I should stop that and simply keep myself centered and giving within my boundaries.
My last lady was in therapy for decades.
Once, out of the blue, she blurted out, "I am well adjusted!"
And just like a stone dropped into a lake, my heart sank.
The red flags are everywhere. For some reason red flags alone are rarely enough.
It's like a movie where I have to know how it turns out in the end.
Thus far, I have no exes who are hostile and usually know when the end is near.
It seemed everytime it ended, then only could they move from conflict towards warmth and nostalgia.
Life really is surreal when we realize how desperately everyone's trying to cope and how many prey upon that knowledge.
I have long ago decided to both blame and forgive myself for everything I dislike in my life.
It creates a drive to seek knowledge and wisdom and help wherever I can.
Sometimes I doubt myself until the kindness of others smothers me in my times of crisis.
That becomes a life-long debt of gratitude.
I know no way more effective to live. And still, it is hard 😊🎉
Dude. It’s called being a codependent
Go read Darlene lancers books. You’ll have a very eye opening experience that she can pin you to a T
OMG, I realize that my close friend has this, that’s why she always wants to show me her selfie pics after she tries or buys clothes or after going to a salon and she wants me to comment about her looks, if I don’t want to see the pics then she will push me to see them, she constantly needs attentions by saying ohh I’m so pretty today look at me! sometimes she brings a gift then asks something in return directly, not even an hour after (can’t accept me saying no and if say yes then she would do it again & again), always being dramatic, always trying to get the attention focus on her by being loud, extremely friendly and cheerful, speaks in different ways when speaking other languages. When I heard one of the symptoms is still receives money from her ex, my jaws dropped bcoz her ex’s family still gives her money which I never understood why, always cries when talking about her ex after broke up for years, still clinging around her ex life but already dating different guys and after awhile gets bored of them and discarded them, always thinking that she’s a princess, always said that everyone thinks she’s a princess. And what she says usually contradict with the things she said before. Wow! I’m shocked. I thought I’m a bad friend who is ungrateful because she’s so nice and caring but she always pushes my boundaries to fulfill her needs and in the end I felt like she’s a child and I’m her parent. 🥹🥹🥹
Run away..
You will not regret it later..I had a histrionic freind too..I stopped contact..they don't care about anyone.they only care about the attention they can grab from you.. and yes you are her caretaker or parental figure.
Ex had the trifecta of borderline, narcissism, and histrionic pd. She was such a devil. Luckily, I only had to tolerate her for 1 month. But it did cause substantial damage.
My ex used to own a boutique and when we first started dating I was hanging out waiting for him to close up. This woman comes in and ties in a piece of see through lingerie and proceeds to come out of the dressing room wearing it then modeling it for him to get his opinion. That was… awkward. I didn’t feel insecure, just confused, frozen, flummoxed… like “what’s wrong with this chick?!”, and now I know lol. She was overtly sexual and flirting too, and I was sitting 3 feet away from my BF.
Thank you for this valuable information
How can I get diagnosed? Is this a commonly known disorder? I found about HPD randomly and it really fits me. I'm afraid i would feel awful telling to a therapist about it. As much as i hate to admit it, i have almost all the signs (except the appearance one, im really insecure about how i look) I actually thought i had an awful personality and there was no way to fix it, i was too selfish and that it was just the way i was. Lately im feeling at my WORST and thought i just had a weird, creepy personality, could never have a partner, cant befriend anyone JUST BEACUSE OF MY PERSONALITY. Learning about this at least puts a finger on why im the way i am. There is a REASON why i am like this. Atleast knowing that im not naturally the worst person ever is good. But like... how can i get diagnosed or is there a medicine for this? Im going crazy lately and really want some help.
Do you feel real attachment to anybody??? Or it's all shallow
@@asharajbhar1176 I don't have a real bond with anyone, I just get obsessed with people and then annoy the heck out of them and continue to do so even when they tell me to get away from them out loud to me, i even had one person attack me but i still didnt listen and continued to be close to her all school year. I know people feel awful when i do this but id rather be around someone who hates me than being lonely. Rly selfish thing to do i know im not proud with it either xD
@@agor8066 are you hypersexual or sex averse?? Do you exchange sex for attention?? I m just curious as it's all over internet that hpd lack morals.
My whole family is basically Team Cluster B! 😅
Deliberately going off birth control, getting pregnant and hiding it for five months.
I enjoyed watching this presentation. Sadly, I think I have had a long-running interaction with a person that clearly fits enough of the HPD criteria as listed in DSM-5. P.S. I am NOT a psychiatrist or psychologist.
Johnny Depp is FAAAAAR from being an angel.
On the contrary !
He had a malicious pleasure by torturing emotionally Heard by suing her and humiliating her in public for the slightest fault (she wrote that she knew what it was like to suffer from abuse).
Now, I do not say that Amber Heard is flawless.
Nobody is.
But she did not deserved to be treated that way. Neither by Depp nor the public.
(Please forgive my mistakes for English is not my first language)
ruclips.net/video/IfN9F93xr_g/видео.html
You are literallyyyyyy describing my ex friend :)
Can you make a video about HPD mothers/mother in laws and how to create boundaries?
This is a very thorough description of the behavior and underlying pain and lack of self-esteem of this adaptation (I reject the brand "disorder" so casually applied by this disordered society, and prefer to approach with understanding and compassion ). Under the thin skin of these behaviors is often early sexual abuse and severe shaming, and lack of validation for any qualities other than physical appearance or social attention. But yes, the behavior is certainly destructive of everyone around , and EVERYONE is subject to be sacrificed for that next smiling glance from a passing stranger, even if the smile contains more than a trace of embarrassment which won't be noticed. Had to contend with this myself as a kid and paid a huge price for her insatiable need for attention, just now beginning to find some forgiveness, for my own sake.
based
Thanks for your reply, I hope you got something useful from my comment that will help you or someone else in some way; if nothing else hopefully a reminder that each of us has had to adapt to a dysfunctional world that dishonors parts of our humanity - only through viewing others' behaviors through the lens of their pain, and finding some common ground and compassion can we hope to reduce the intergenerational abuse and cyclical societal trauma that generates these wounds and the harmful defensive behaviors they create. Namaste.
Ha, love your work, I’m getting on a bit now and never married thank god. I know these cluster B syndromes can appear in men as well as women, but can hardly think of any I’ve come across in males. From my personal experience and observation, the hideous events suffered by many male friends and colleagues over the years has been caused by women: acquaintances, girlfriends and wives, with tragic consequences sometimes.
my mom. narc with histrionic traits
1 billion percent correct!
Sounds like a new name for Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
It's not new, it's just lesser known, maybe what you have thought was NPD was HPD
Thank you Lise...what is with me and a beautiful cluster B...lol...I have had a couple of these ... Shallow and vain...not a lot of substance...but have off the charts street smarts...a year long dead end...Lise can these HPD types be cured? They cannot find lasting bonds to people ,things or activities ....and are constantly scrounging for any next path....
I believe that the cluster b personality disorders are very different from each other. I believe now, that a person usually has one of these disorders and it's confusing if someone does not understand the disorder very well. They do have similarities but are very different for different reasons, too. I believe that they have different underlying issues. Like NPD vs BPD. Etc.
AH was the "ambassador for DV"? On the basis of this presentation, I could plausibly argue that she missed her calling.
Please comment on single mothers (parents), their impatience and the impact of that impatience on the lives of their children.
So true all these elements, i been to all of them... for example everything can be fine, and then she can cut a little her finger cooking in the kitchen, she is pretty and she will sing to that in the mirror when she put on make up... she will change mod in a seccond from extremely happy to very angry and sad or silent... without any reason...the list is long...She will demand money on the spot !
Another great and important video. Thank You! (have seen essentially all the HPD behavior You are talking about but essentially have been able to avoid that species - less so with some pathological narcissists and ASPD:s but eventually got rid of those parasites as well).
My younger brother has undiagnosed hpd. He has all the signs and symptoms.
What's the difference from autistic spectrum disorder and other disorder? What's the key difference?
You know that scene in Star Wars episode IV where Luke is flying down that channel on the surface of the Deathstar, and he fires his torpedos and they go down the hole and blow the whole thing to dust? That is this video.
I was married to a man with the same types of symptoms. Not all of these symptoms but a majority of them. Do you find that men with HPD similar to women with HPD?
Yes but when men do it, they are "the man" .
I didn't really appreciate that complex condition being just "her", but I guess statistics in science and maybe - just maybe - on RUclips is in favour of such a choice. Ok then.
My question is where does it come from? Does a person get born with it or is it because of a childhood trauma/schemas(sorry no idea how to write it, English is not my mother tongue) that are internalised during childhood? Would like a bit of an in depth analysis.
Thanks!
It comes from traumatic childhood experiences outside the family/home. They initially are very happy children but with a very sensitive and naive outlook. They attract bullying from other children, physical violence (hitting, pushing, dragging), hurtful comments, ostracism, shaming, etc. This type of child becomes extremely psychologically damaged by these attacks. As adults they do not withdraw into themselves, unless alone, instead they overcompensate with needing to be loved by the people around them, who would once bully them. They are not malicious, like other PDs. And their trauma is not family-based, like other PDs, it is external environment-based. These two factors make it easy to diagnose HPD in comparison to other PDs. They usually have a very stable and loving home life during growing up. But when they enter their teens and high school, that’s when the trauma starts, from strangers. It appears to be something that some girls tend to do to other girls. These girl bullies appear to be very toxic to large numbers of other girls and so many women appear to have HPD traits of one form or another. Over 90% of HPDs are women. In men, it appears to be gay men who attract teenage bullying and produces the drama queen type of gay man. Most men with HPD appear to be gay.
@@jedg4746 oh wow, that's so helpful, thank you very much for elaborate description!
Would you be willing to advise any other materials for more info in line with what you just provided here? Now I wanna know if there's anything I can do as a parent to try and help out if things go this sad way with otherwise loved and cherished child...
Pardon me for thinking out loud on a public forum. I'm struggling with a relation, and I suspect she is subject to this disorder. Most of the places where I can freely discuss this are subject to exposure to her, and she's already mad at me, I don't want more drama while I think this through.
1. Uncomfortable with situations where he or she is not the center of attention. (Definitely)
2. Interactions with others are often characterized by inappropriate sexually seductive/provocative behavior. (sort of. Exhibitionistic, dresses provocatively and has to outdo other people but is not at all promiscuous.)
3. Displays rapidly shifting and shallow emotions. (No. Tends to stay very rigidly in negative emotions, clasps anger. She does weaponize her emotions.)
4. Uses physical appearance to draw attention to themselves. (Yes. Definitely. But then it can be argued that I do the same, I like me some fancy dresses. "She is thinking that everyone is admiring her when everyone is judging her inappropriate appearance. She thinks they are jealous." That sticks weird with me. I have told her that something she was doing was off only for her to call me jealous. We were kids then, though.)
5. Impressionistic style of speech, lacking detail. Impressive talk does not match behavior. (No. I may not be in a position to evaluate this. She has already long since read me as an audience. In my experience, she tends to speak directly and with, if anything, overstated opinions. She sometimes misreads me and states an overstated opinion at a wholly inappropriate time, such as when she talked about how pleased she was that a city was burning to the ground, and the city happened to be my hometown, and I was currently in it watching the houses of friends incinerate. She was offended that *I* did not adapt to *her* opinion. )
6. Shows self-dramatization, theatricality, and exaggerated expressions of emotion. (Yes, I think so, though I do not think she is dishonest. She does occasionally "steal the show", but usually simply looks uncomfortable and displeased. She struggles to be happy for other people at big events. )
7. Suggestable. (Not immediately, she does have some unshakeable convictions that allow her a good core self, but she can adapt that core to whoever has a bigger influence on her. If this results in dissimilitude, she does not recall ever being otherwise. I think ultimately, the answer is yes, but it is not obvious or overstated.)
8. Considers relationships to be more intimate than they actually are. (this is probably easily misinterpreted, She does lack certain boundaries, which does get her in trouble with other people. I think yes.)
9. Very low self-esteem. (yes.)
10. Not necessarily exploitative, but often so when combined with BPD. (She is slightly exploitative. When we were children, she would often try to use her distress or trauma to get me to give her my life savings. She gets things for free out of people pretty readily, including her dog, the car she drove for a long time, that sort of thing. I would not suggest she is always taken care of because of this, but is always in need of being taken care of. I do not think she has anything like BPD)
That's 8/10. Bias confirmed, I guess. Now to figure out how to manage someone displaying all this so as to minimize drama.
Ugh. I think my stepmother has HPD or some combo of cluster B…. I remember when she met my 1st “serious” boyfriend (we were 15/16) & started trying to give him “wet willies” the first night they met … there are plenty of way worse things she has done, but that gave me the ick
Ewwwwwwwww 🤢
Definitely in appropriate behavior …
Sorry to hear. I can’t imagine what you’re holding back but I can assume quite well 😂
I only have two words to describe this type of person: Vain and dramatic!
I was diagnosed by a therapist, but only in passing, and did not receive any treatment. It was just a "side comment", not something I was encouraged to look into further - so I didn't.
Soooo what causes HPD? Where did it come from?
I've been sober 30 years and taking anti depressants longer than that. I recently started taking meds for anxiety, which helped a lot.
But I still feel lonely, friendless (only a very few friends, and I don't feel really close to them), helpless and hopeless.
And dramatic, too, as you can tell.