The Father Wound-John Finch
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- Опубликовано: 5 май 2024
- Soft White Underbelly interview and portrait of John Finch, a Dallas man who lost his father as a child.
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Here are links to John’s book and the movie mentioned in this interview:
Book- thefathereffect1.gumroad.com/...
Movie- • FREE! The Father Effec...
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Thanks for letting me share my story Mark and for working so hard to help others share their stories! Greatly appreciate you brother!
Oh, another person selling something. No thanks
Love this interview. 💟👏
You are an angel with the heart of a lion. Thank YOU for the courage to talk about that. Telling that story is the mark of a real man.
I lived in Euless, Texas for 10 years. First time I’ve heard anybody say that online how about where they they have grown up! Thanks for your share.
Your story was incredible. My finance's dad committed suicide 6 weeks ago and my fiance' found him. My Fiance struggles with alcoholism ( I am also an ex addict 6 years in Recovery) He was sober 4 years until last week when he left work because he was triggered and that is the last thing he remembers. He got black out drunk and drove. The angels were with him because he ended up just running into a fences and taking off fenders before passing out. Cop woke him up. He hasn't drank since then and he does not want to die. I told him he will have to have some therapy. We are from Oklahoma and he kind of has that toxic masculinity problem where therapy makes you sound like you are crazy but he wants to go for the kids and I. We are Christ followers as well. I was wondering how you knew which therapist was right for you?
I have never commented before but this hit home. My dad was so hard to be around. Always needed to have fancy expensive things. He had a bad temper. Genealogy research taught me so much grace for. He was a poor polish boy in a town that had few polish people. Teased and called polish pig farmer. Never feeling good about himself. His dad was a chronic alcoholic. It all clicked. I could forgive him. At 50 I finally got peace.
❤Darlene
💛
🙏
🙏🏻♥️
My dad died by suicide when I was 12. My entire world flipped upside down. I can relate to this SO much! Thanks for sharing your story, John!
My dad passed in September of 2023...about 2 1/2 weeks before he passed he told me he was proud of me for the first time in my entire life and I am 54...he told me he was proud of the way I took care of my mother
YOU HAVE MAJOR ANGER ISSUES 👹@@newsouthwalesuploads.7509
Why did he have to wait until he was almost dead?? Not a nice guy.
That is wonderful that your father was able to tell you he’s proud of you. You’ll always have that special moment with him that so many sons never get to experience.
@@msdemeanour I think that is just the way men are from his generation
@troybrewer2576 I used to say that about my dad troy as well. It's not true - it's a comforting lie. My dad is either autistic, emotionally wounded, or perhaps both.
Quietly screwed with my psyche for decades - his withdrawn, quietly disappointed demeanor toward me. I thought he was doing (and pushing, badly at times) what he did out of obligation, not love. I sometimes still think it was the former.
No child should get that, and some kids had it far worse than I did, like the guy in this video. I count myself lucky, in some ways, compared to many.
Daughters too, desperately need their fathers. All little girls want two things, daddy and a pony.
Mark, this has to be one of the best, most needed, and most impactful stories ever told.
Thank you! Greatly appreciate you kind words!
What about poor Rebecca!? How soon we all forget and move on to the next misfit 😢
@TheFatherEffect it touches me deeply! My father was absent, and mom was an addict. I was broken until I met Jesus! 🙌🏼
@@TiffanyJennings91 amen. Share your story. Others need to hear it and know there is hope. 😎
😂😂😂Wake up 😊
You don’t forgive someone to let them off the hook, you forgive to let yourself of the hook.
I would love Mark to tell us his life story. It may not be riddled with the hardships and trauma that those he usually interviews experience, but it would be interesting to get to know the man behind these interviews ❤
Joe Rogan did a good interview on him. Also No Jumper interviewed by a guest of his Sharp a Pimp. Both on RUclips
Watch him on NPR or NPS, can't remember, but you will find the interview
Found out my Dad died when 16 then found out he left this world a little younger than I am now.By his own hand.
Great interview
What stands out about John is that his faith and religion helped him comes to terms but he does not push that on the audience. Just the forgiveness and understanding.
Well love is about choice. It’s also called free will. So a Christian that’s been taught the true meaning behind Christs message is really about love and free will.
I’m at work and will listen to this very soon !
❤️💯🙏
The beautiful thing is it's a relationship not a religion. Religion is just something man-made. But a relationship with the Father who actually designed you and created you is the most beautiful thing ever.
Thanks mark im 62 i will never forget my dads honestly and forthcoming attitude towards me. He was beating me at a young age 1-7 years i dont remember or i chose not to see?? It makes no sense to me.. he let me know his TRUE love for me at the age of ages at nearly 45 i realize that he was beaten by his father and his brother!! I found alcohol and drugs was my favorite pass time.. anger, lack of caring who i was.. please share share share this father wound!! Its fucking soo powerful!!
I made peace in the last five years of my dad’s life. My stepmom was a controlling woman and controlled every move of my dad. When she passed away my dad realized what he missed out on with my children, my loving wife, my grandchild and me. He did not know how to use the words I love you. My wife and I taught him how to use those words. My father passed away in March of this year. He was 95 years old. Every time I see my children, I always tell them that I love them, unconditionally! Given the right circumstances, things can change inter-generationally ❤️🇨🇦
Great interview. I know John personally, and he is indeed a great man, full of compassion, and has been an inspiration to many, including myself.
Wow wow wow. What a fantastic interview. Generational curse is one of the hardest things to break. My husband committed suicide when my kids were 12, 16 and 18. My one son has never dealt with it. I am the mom/dad for them. Not a easy task but they excelled in life so far. ❤
Same.
My husband also self harmed ( hand gun ) & the effects it's had on our children, particularly our son , has been hard to say the least.
This guy's story hits home with me.
How, Now, Brow, cow 😂😅
I swear if I close my eyes he sounds a lot like Matthew McConnehey
Agree
Omg I was just thinking the same thing!
There is an awesome book called "The Boy Crisis" that connects. Fathers should be valued as much as the mother. Sir, you are a great blessing in this world.
some fathers...
Children need their fathers! Or at the very least, strong father figures.
My dad did the same thing. I miss him every day, but mad at him for doing it. Wish he was still here to ask questions.
You can get the answers by learning about his history. ❤
That's why it's important to ask the most random questions while friends and family are still alive. Take pictures. Have your memories so that you can answer the younger generation's questions.
I'm not ready to forgive... my dad chose to do what he did and let the stepmother be the bully..........
I hear you. I am not sure why forgiveness is helpful in a rational sense. The person who abused me isn’t asking for forgiveness. I can see the value in understanding. I can see the value in therapy and self work and communication and healing. I can see the value in a lot of things. Not sure about forgiveness though 🤔 it seems kinda forced or makes sense if you are really into Jesus.
You don’t have to forgive either.. or have a relationship with them. You have to protect yourself first ♥️
I understand completely. I’ve experienced something that sounds like what you went through.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean you agree with or condone what they did. It’s for you only.
My dad is 80y/o. When he was in college his father killed his mother then killed himself. She was going on her first date after the divorice. He did attempt to kill her date and wounded him for life. My dad said he would do like you,think he would see his parents in strangers faces. He was 22 and my mom was 17 when they got married. They are still married and wonderously in love with each other. About 4yrs ago my baby brother died in an accident,he drove into a river and drowned. Its a total miracle that my dad was such a great father and is still is the most tender and loving guy. About 6 months ago, I found a neighbors accounting of what happened that night. Bullents were flying into their house. Crazy
Oh, my father loved Yahua. His relationship with Yeshua made him into the great man he still is. I cherish every minute with him still. I see him at least every week. Hes my daddy my hero! He reads his bible every morning. He taught me the greatest love in Yeshua.
Good for you 🙄
@@msdemeanour😜
He nails it in everything he says!
What an awesome testimony. So many men are walking wounded in this world! Bless you sir!
Most people are walking wounded. Not exclusive to men.
September 13,1999 my dad died of a heart attack, I was 11 years old. Lost is the prefect word for it. So much of his story is just like mine. I couldn't go to my mom, all the kids at school knew my family and my dad(he was a really nice guy) and I was treated different, kinda like pity, I mean I get why they were like that but still sucked. I know my dad died in a "normal" way but man its similar. I started to smoke pot in HS and dropped out. I eventually spend my mid 20s to 5mths ago (35 now) using oxys then fentanyl. Im 5mths clean now but Im still seriously lost and dont have any clue what to do next. I havn't finished watching this video and dont think I can right now, this is all just too heavy for me.
Stay strong & stay off drugs. You will be ok 💌
Congrats on your sobriety! Take one day at a time, you've got this!
Well done on the sobriety. Give yourself time to know yourself. Being anesthetized for so very long eaves a person extra sensitive to any sort of stimulation whether it be physical,emotional or educational. Ease into this new life friend. Answers will come when they come. You can't make a cake bake quicker just because you want to eat cake, you've got to let the process do it's thing. Bless you and remember, you only have to stay clean this minute and all we get it one minute at a time.
I am not going to pretend I know what you're going through. I as a fellow human being am proud of you for becoming sober. Even through your pain, you can overcome what you intend to. Don't let your story hold you back. My story on my dad isn't great, and daddy issues are common for women. We have to feel the triumph. If you can stand woman artists. Look up Bishop Briggs, Triumph. You're a human being, give yourself some love.
@@ddz1375 Today was my birthday and I didn't eat cake so yeah im taking it slow, maybe alittle too slow but sobriety still walks beside me instead behind me, and all the msgs of kind words. My dad dead has really rocked me to my core, I think about him about 80% of the day(atleast he was a good dad and very funny) I have learned through pain comes wisdom(through the awful grace of God) and the 5 stages of grief are very real and true. It just need to more points. Each one will take a different amount of time, you also may not go through them in order of list, and last is the most important one and hardest one is the last one...acceptance. It is also the most painful one and I havn't reach it, and some of us never do.
Your story was giving me goosebumps. I knew I had to comment when you said there was a date.
My date is 2/21/20. That's the day I started my journey of forgiveness and change. It is possible you just have to believe you're worthy and you seek freedom from generational cycles of trauma.
Beautiful Christian testimony! Anything we accomplish, like forgiveness, is an astonishing feat. But to turn around and give God the credit makes a special difference that will last for eternity, because we are humbled and freed from common, natural tendencies for narcissism ... which is the entire point of having a belief in God. It's to widen one's world from "self" to "the heavenly creator did this" ... not just me. If people do whatever, only for humanly, temporary reasons, their work/gifts/presence will be only for that in which is of this Earth flesh. Grateful, is it to have the opportunity to become one with the "before, now and forever." All else is dust.
Thank you. I needed this video. To help me on not giving my daughter a wound.
My Dad passed this Month will make it a year ago . & I've been struggling a lot lately & I really needed to hear this. You know how they say God will show you I believe he just did. Thank you
There's a lot of men & women who are out there angry & they don't know why. Truth.
Wow ur never too old to learn something.... 53 yrs old and I just learned of this.... Father wound.... Makes so much sense 😢
is that his last name 'Wound lol? wow so many mid 50s ppl \crazy eh mate
@newsouthwalesuploads.7509 Your really one sad human. Prayers for your healing🙏🏾🫀
@@ivaloowilson3524 Thank you my child 'Hugs 'only if u new as im the super happiest go luckiest lil human child youll ever come by so i apologize for being to happy for you. #Peaceblowssouth. My good man. 'Ps maybe u didnt have the lovely loving n happy childhood i had so im sorry my good man but just try now to make the best of it ya, like for your children's sake at least. #Peace.
It really is about forgiveness. Mark I recently emailed you about forgiving my father all thanks to you in a radio video interview. It’s been 50 plus years, 11 since he died. I’m still happy he’s not on this planet but by forgiving him I’ve removed the weight from my soul & the abusive voice from my mind. Thanks again ❤
That takes a lot of strength. God bless you in the name of Jesus Christ, who is the name above all names & the only way to Heaven💖😊
How do you forgive someone like that?
@@miriamalvidrez1409 Its up to each person. My dad was awful in every way possible. A few years after he died, family members told me how bad he really was. I was SO ANGRY, had I known it I would have disowned him! He was huge on family secrets! I kept that intense level of anger for 8 years, then I saw Mark talking about it & it’s like he was my angel?? I immediately forgave. Just know that no matter what anyone says, forgiving & choosing if/when is 100% up to you. You don’t HAVE to do anything.
@@miriamalvidrez1409I think only truly through the love that Jesus gives you!! That is what worked for me! I could absolutely not be able to do it without Him.❤🙏
How do you stop the daily rumination re-playing all of the angry memories and betrayals?
This discussion on forgiveness is such a blessing. Thank you.
I’m adopted and I grew in up a single mother who suffers from depression/anxiety, and I also suffer manic depression/anxiety and borderline personality disorder. I say all that to say, I 💕 her with all my heart. She’s not perfect, nor am I. I struggle with a mother wound. But, meds and therapy are my saviour!
😅❤😅😅😅😅😅[
Meds are mess ! Read The Book Of Mormon
John, we have parallel experiences. My Mom took her life when I was 15. You find yourself emotionally stunted for (approx) 4 years after such trauma. Even today, when someone asks about my Mother~they don't get it & want to know why. There is not enough understanding of the disease of depression & I'm hoping we can turn the tide on that eventually.❤❤
thank you for this, John. My father was a narcissist, mean, manipulative, cruel, hateful alcoholic who abused me in every way. He's dead, and I'm glad. I have tried to find forgiveness but it's very difficult. I've lived my life thinking everything that happens is my fault. I've always felt " less than" everyone else. He abused me in one way or the other for over 30 years. I'm 68 now, and it feels like I'm doing much better these days.
You said something that really struck a chord with me.... "he didn't know how to be a father". I've never heard truer words. My father didn't even know how to be a person.
Sending you all best wishes and blessings.
Hey man I never even met my dad. Have no idea who he is. Perhaps that is better than knowing him and losing him...?
"The men that I know that had an engaged, involved father in their life, they walk with a confidence, and a courage and a boldness..."
Growing up without the guidance of my parents, I engaged in a whole lot of stupid bs all in an attempt to discover my self worth.
I sometimes feel envious of those who had a supportive upbringing. You're right. They seem so sure of themselves. It's like they got a head start in life, while I'm spending my adult life unlearning and desperately trying to catch up.
This guy is amazing! What a tribute to his Dad's life that he is doing this and helping so many others who suffer from having an absent father! Redemption through forgiveness!!!
I’ve never heard it referred to as a “Father wound”. That’s so perfect. I never felt like I made my dad proud but aging has taught me that he just didn’t know how to express his feelings. I make a point of telling my children that I love them everyday and that I am proud of them. They are grown now and have children of their own and we are so close. Single mom success story right here!! lol
Yes mother wound is the other. Some men resent their mothers or have been hurt by them and they carry that with them into all of their relationships. Unaddressed issues often birth babies.
@lynnc8188 I will never understand why people write a perfectly normal viable comment then end it with "lol." It simply makes you look silly. Also, I, and many more who usually remain silent, despise the "Single Mom Badge" that 99% of you wear. (You should be embarrassed, frankly, that you laid down with a loser of a man, and usually, more than one loser of a man, at that. But instead you go through life expecting accolades and special treatment. Sickening, really.)
I think it simply is a sign of not wanting to come off ostentatious, to add something like "lol" to the comment. @@lisahinton9682
""I’ve never heard it referred to as a “Father wound”....""
You never heard of this bc is not real, it is an invented term, one more among thousand new terms in all this new "psychology"... and YOUR story is no good bc you tuned out fine without all teh "journeys" etc... you get no interview bc you didn't become an alcoholic and had no issues and you KNEW what the right things to do were for your kids, you didn't say "Oh my dad abused my mom so that must be what is normal" you had enough brains to know better, but you and people like you get no interviews!!
@@ggrthemostgodless8713 I don’t want an interview jackass. I am 17 years sober from crack cocaine and grew up with an addict for a mom. What is the matter, r u jealous because your life is so miserable? Go take another drink and go to bed troll! 😂
I think Mark needed that personally
Suicide is the last stage of depression 😢
We have a couple generations of wounded kids from the lack of dads in the home. It’s where the family of gangs was born.
The family of gangs has all to do with economics. Poverty is the perfect set-up for that.
Great story. Makes me fortunate I grew up with a father. Can't imagine not having one. Must feel terrible.
Mark we really need so many of these so we can learn to forgive and heal and find peace
I'm looking at a man thats well articulated wearing a nice shirt with a wedding ring on his finger. I'd say he overcame!
as his daughter, i can attest that he did indeed overcome! thank you for this comment. i plan on showing it to him & my mom:)
This is the first time I hearing of this "father wound". I too had a father wound. Thankfully, I received an apology from my father before he died. He too was damaged by his mother. I understood, as a young college aged woman the hurt he must have had inflicted upon him as a young child. I got it! From then on, I had a different type of relationship with him. A respect of sorts. He had his cross to bear. I forgave him for all the hurt.
When I was 3 my dad died in an accident at work. The only difference in my comparison to John is that my problem with my father was that I assumed him to be perfect. I never saw him fail or be wrong or anything like that. So I felt like I could never live up to what I saw in him. My turn came when I realized that he was a flawed human and that if was actually doing the best I could do for my family, that he would be proud of that. It's weird now that I'm older than he lived to be.
John, thank you for sharing your experience and life story with us. You've stirred a lot of deep feelings others have and its beautiful. ❤
What an incredible man. It is really cool to know that people with such emotional intelligence and wisdom exist. Sending a hug for you sir.
16:34 this hit me like a lightning bolt when I realised forgiveness wasn’t about forgiving another person but instead inwardly forgiving ❤ such a revelation and so healing, and in my case, absolutely nothing to do with religion. Everyone deserves their own forgiveness, regardless of your beliefs ❤
Absolutely phenomenal !!
TY John for this WONDERFUL MESSAGE I think it’s my FAVE YET! ! ❤ Mark these interviews are getting better and better!!!!
Hope all is well with you Mark, no video this morning
I know. I hope everything is okay.
I’m really enjoying these stories, not all addicts and 304’s but a look into the battles we are all fighting and we pass these people every day on the street.
Extremely well spoken and honest good guy . Really appreciate it it’s been therapeutic for me !
if Matthew McConaughey doesn’t play this guy in the movie, I’m not watching.
😂
Yes!! I was just going to say if you closed your eyes, listening to this.. well, I at least, wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.lol
I came here just to see if someone would say this guy sounds just like Matthew mcconaughey 😂
Man I don’t even know how my dad grew up and he’s been in my life all along and still very much is. Some people burry the stories of trauma is what I believe.
Amazing guest. Such a valuable conversation.
Listening to this man and reading the comments make me feel blessed to have had an amazing and loving Dad. He's been gone for 12 years now and miss him every single day. I'm sorry for the folks who had a dad that didn't know how to be one.
Didn’t expect to shed a tear on a Monday morning. Good one again Mark you are the man!
Same...
Is anyone else worried about Mark? He didn’t post a video this morning 😢
A terrific story of emotionally and spiritually healing.
The selfishness that his father bestowed upon his son is unparallel and unfair. Suicide not only destroys the person committing it. It destroys the entire family.
My birthday Feb 20th 1983, I knew it was a special day not only for me but for many others God bless and forgiveness help the soul heal 🙏.
People do not need to forgive their parents. Many people have patterns of letting people take advantage of them, a faun response, and having manipulative parents is at the core of that. Forgiving your abuser keeps you open to abuse. Forgiving yourself is the important thing.
I relate to this and have felt very resistant to forgiveness. I agree with understanding. I agree with therapy and self healing and living a healthy life. I’m not sure what people mean by forgiveness 🤔 it feels like you have to really be into Jesus to understand this?
This one really hit home. My dad took his life when I was 11 months old. I used to wonder if it would’ve been worse having memories of him but it doesnt really matter. Im 28 and its affected me my whole life and left me angry at a man I dont even know. Its taken me till about a year ago to let go of that anger and turn it into compassion. Thanks for this amazing interview ❤
My dad left my mom when I was 6 months & my brother was 18 months old. He never looked back or even called. It was 19 years later when we met our dad. I asked him, why didn’t come to see us? He said he was in a tough marriage at the time & had a lot of issues he was trying to deal with. I never forgave him, he died at the age of 59 shortly after that from stage 4 colon cancer. Now I don’t know what to do with my angry feelings I still have for him. 🥺
Sometimes you just have to consider his situation and realize it wasn’t your fault. Some people don’t realize the consequences of their actions until way down the line after the damage was done. Some never realize it. Makes you question your own choices and if you yourself have ever hurt anyone unintentionally
Let the anger go. It's better he went away than if he was there abusing you every day! I should know...
My father left my mother with 5 children when I was 5. I didn't see him again until I was 30. He told me that my mother's family treated him badly. He played the victim. I did forgive him for myself not him. Some people just shouldn't have children. 💔❤️🩹❤️
@@msdemeanour I agree. I really wish I didn't know who my dad was. Not knowing his existence would have been better than being $exually abused, gaslit, physically abused, and pretty much narc'ed and shaped his way into our (my sisters and I) future relationships with potential husbands.
Thank you John for sharing your story, and thank you also for telling it as YOUR story and as a religious man, NOT full of religion and all that goes with it.
Im with Mark on the non religion thing and it's such a shame when people with a powerful message or story dilute it with something many can't consider.
I respect you for telling the story without trying to push your beliefs on those listening.
I wish you all the happiness in the world, however that comes for you.
Nice one fella.
May God continue to richly bless you my brother as you share about Him ✝️💟
Agreed
FORGIVENESS comes through understanding and then comes COMPASSION
This should be the most watched video on your channel. Thanks so much for sharing this story.
Hi Mark.
John.
We need more stories like this.
I forgave my father. I had to.
He passed 1989 in his sleep. Glad I told him I love you before that❤
We need Rebecca’s input!🎉
Incredible story of healing! Wow🌷 Sidenote...he sounds exactly like Matthew McConaughey!
True
I thought the same thing
It's the Texas accent.❤
It's the Texas accent.❤
Awesome story and talk,
For all of us even if this wasn’t our experience. We live amongst people with wounds such as this and this helps to understand where they may be coming from and not to judge.
Currently renovating my kitchen and have been putting your videos on daily to listen to which makes it less lonely. This story really spoke out to me and touched my heart. What an amazing story of healing ❤
My father loved his children with all his heart. He made mistakes and we forgave him before he passed away from cancer 15 years ago. ❤
It really got me when you talked about how your dad dropped you off for school an said you forgot to give me a kiss, then you did. It makes me so sad an somehow happy to hear that. Thanks for sharing your story ill pray for you man. And to end on a lighter note, you sound a bit like Mathew McConaughey 😅
It's been a long time since something resonated with me. Thanks so much for sharing yourselves - John and Mark
Powerful story. Thank you for sharing.
“All forgiveness is is understanding”
Mark is right on. Atonement is at-one-ment.
I wish I could help my older brother. He has finally given his life to Jesus, but the pain from our past still echoes in his head. Mark thank you for your channel. I learn so much from it. Much love sent your way! 💗
I had a father wound, and I had a father. He hardly acknowleged us.
AWESOME INTERVIEW!!!
Thank you Mark❤
Amazing interview! Thank you, both!
As a young man I've learned from many older men in this society to never blame your father before knowing the full story just like we do our mamas. Father's in this country are no longer appreciated and suffer alone with no power over their family because they are not the father. The STATE is the father of their family. So they slowly die silently. I'm blessed to learn this early in life. Also know the mother who raised your father's because that has a lot to do how they turned out also. This was a honest and genuine story sir👌🏿💪🏿
And women know the state is the daddy. They use men for financial gains and divorce over 70% of the time
I had that. The awful rejection subsided when the kids moved out.
I am so glad I had the best daddy in the world he passed away in 2007 but I have never stopped loving him .my dad was named John.
One of the best ones yet. Please do more of these 👍🏼
This interview is AMAZING - it has helped me so much today!
Totally awsome interview! You both were great and what an eye opener! Thank you for filming this and all the rest that many folks don't even realize they can learn from. I appreciate your work.
❤this conversation. It touched me deeply and could relate on many levels. Lost my Father when I was 19. The battle in my own mind has been constant because I never got to prove to him that I am what he wanted me to be.
What a wonderful man! This topic is so necessary to our communities! So relatable and impactful! I truly enjoyed hearing his story. Bravo to you both for being so brave and bold in telling your stories. This is so beneficial to many! ❤
This man is so right about forgiveness…I have for given my father I am disappointed that I still hurt from things mentally physically I don’t feel the same suffering…but mentally how he affected me..what am I not doing? Or understanding?
I really enjoyed hearing your story John! Fathers are so important and impactful on their children’s lives. Thank you for the work you do to help others who have issues due to their fathers. Such important work you are doing!
This interview was beautifully impactful.
Thank you so much, Divine Men!
I dont know how, or why. But as a very young person I was able to see my dad as doing the best he could with what he had. He couldn't give something he never had. He was abandoned by his father as an infant. His mother had him, and his brother. She was an extremely abusive alcoholic. She chose to let her mother raise my dad's brother. But for whatever reason she chose to keep my dad. I guess to have someone to take her life out on. If you have seen the movie "Mommy Dearest" then you know what his childhood was like. God knows what she experienced as a child. Her mother ran a prostitution business way back in like 1900. She was an extremely abusive mother, and her sister was sexually abusive to her granddaughter. I dont know if she was to her own children. But they seemed to love her very much. So I'm not sure. I can only imagine what kind of life two little girls had growing up in a home that was a sex business. My great grandmother was a cold hearted woman. She actually practiced witchcraft as well. So by the time my dad became a dad, he didn't know how to be one. What he did do was make a decision. He didn't know what to do right. But he knew he was never going to treat his children the way he was treated. My mom was the disciplinarian in all ways. To this day my dad has never spanked any of his children or grandchildren, or great grandchildren. It was pretty common when I was a kid to get spankings. But he absolutely refused. Even when my mom got mad because she had to do all the discipline, he wouldn't do it. So somehow, as far back as I can remember, I didn't hold anything against him. He wouldn't lay a hand on us. But he also never once hugged us, or said any words of endearment. He's only told me one time in my whole 50 years of life, that he loves me, and he only did it that one time because I pinned him down (not literally) I just cornered him, and I wouldn't let up until he said it. I was maybe in my early twenties. I actually just did it to mess with him, and I laughed about it after he said it. He struggled so bad with showing any type of affection. He just didn't have it in him. Maybe the reason I was able to understand why he couldn't be like other dads were, most likely because my mom told us very early on what kind of childhood he suffered. So we let him off the hook. We never pressured him to be anything except who he was. Because of that I was able to see how he did show love. He showed us how much he loved us by never putting his hands on us, and by never speaking ugly words to us. Even though that meant he'd never put his hands on us in a loving way either, or that he would give us words of affirmation or affection. But we understood why he couldn't. He also showed his love for his family by working his fingers to the bone to make sure we had every necessity. We didn't have a lot of unnecessary things. But we had everything we needed. It would've been nice to have had him hug us, and tell us he loved us. I'm sure not having that has had it's effects on us. But one thing we all do is tell our children how much we love them while squeezing them tightly in a big hug. A hug that's for me as much as it is for them. 💜
I just wanted to say thank you Mark for bringing a light to the world in one of the most powerful, yet painful ways. Giving ones a chance to speak their story; giving them the chance to tell others why they became the way they are, giving many of them possibly the drop of hope others sapped from them. Including the ones who’ve gotten into some taboo situations.
This is incredible! You kept so many people here longer. Even though there are ones who are too ingrained in their ways to change, you gave them a chance to be heard anyway. These interviews are something many today need to see. Many people tend to only care about such things only if its happened to them as well, which is basically apathetic.That’s not the case with a heavy amount of people, but I feel like people who aren’t empathetic to these things, are the ones who need to see this.
This is refreshing to see, despite the depths of pain, loss, and suffering most Interviewers have going on. They’re strong, and so are you. I couldn’t handle this as well as you.
Thank you for doing this. 💕
Well said 👏 ✨️Mark's interviews are life changing. Sending love and light ✨️♥️✨️
Wonderful story, thank you for sharing this
I have to forgive both parents for the abuse from both. Forgiveness is for you, not them.
Great interview!!! So powerful
This interview just hit home. Thank you for sharing your stiry
This is a valuable video, a real blessing.
Fantastic story! Thank you Much more than words can say