Our Open Relationship - Your Questions
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- Опубликовано: 11 июн 2024
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After reading over 3000 comments based on our last video I decided to address some of the good questions and even the negative judgments in order to help clear up any confusion.
Again I'd like to reiterate this video is not an invitation to judge me, nor is it a plea to side with me. The goal is for you to have more information in order to better understand yourself and the goals for your romantic connections
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I'M ENGAGED NOW! FIND OUT TO WHO THOUGH.... ruclips.net/video/nU42WiyL-dU/видео.html
are you going to be in an open marriage?
Shan BOODY you’re stupid af
Shan BOODY matt this year. joe next year. and so on ?
Oh, wow!
Is he your husband now?
I'm such a hopeless romantic , I never could have an open relationship.
Serenity Chloe Exactly. Hopeless
Obinna Africa well shit. You put a pin in that one.
Serenity Chloe Baby change the narrative I used to feel I'm a hopeless romantic now I consider myself a HopeFULL romantic. I'm full of hope and Love.But I agree idont want to share shit but ideas lol
Why is there an assumption that those two things are mutually exclusive? Why can't there be someone who's romantic and has so much love for other humans that they want intimacy with multiple people? It just seems like there's this weird stereotype with people who are in open relationships or are polyamorous that they're detached and jaded by love.
Agreed! I'm a "hopeless romantic" and I've also been in open relationships. People see things in black and white.
Anxiety ... that’s the feeling I get from this video.. I want my partner to be only mine. What works for you works for you but I couldn’t. I’m too sensitive.
meetme4tlake same I’m making scenarios up in my head lol fml
I think she's experienced being "owned" in a way that was toxic to her which is why she's avoiding it for now. I am similar to you though. I don't see how expecting monogamy should automatically equate to ownership. There are healthy monogamous relationships.
Anxiety... that's what I felt whike reading your comment. I want my partner to only be [mine].
I am monogamous but still, I couldn't help but cringe while reading this. Possession is not a healthy relationship.
Same !
Same girl Same. I'm selfish and i don't think I would like sharing.
And being in a monogamous relationship doesn't mean you "own" each other, it means you are committed to each other. it means you don't go out there sharing your heart with everyone but that one person that means the most to you.
i agree with the first part but being in an open relationship doesn't mean you arent committed. there are also so many different types of consensual non-monogamous relationships and they differ on peoples personal values and feelings. it should be discussed and negotiated with your partner/s
@Chad Eren what, cars and material objects are so different to humans. you cant compare someones love of a car to their love of a human. are you saying parents love one child more than the others? they can't love all equally? I'm not saying that everyone can be poly. for example, it wouldn't work for you bc you cant understand sharing your love. love can mean different things for different people. also back the the car thing, there usually arent 10 people in a poly relationship so lets go to 2. if you could have your absolute top two cars, would you be able to choose which one to let go of? would u spend less time caring for one of them than the other?
@@kristyspy7542 what specifically makes it a committed relationship? You call it committed because they come home every night to the same person and still do life together? That’s making up your own term of what committed means.
@Chad Eren Ok so if a parent has 5 children she can't love them equally right, nice logic.
@@travis6694 why is your definition of commitment more valid than their definition?
Most people are not okay with open relationships but then they all cheating behind closed doors so really
Yea because when your in a relationship you don't cheat... that's why they do it behind closed doors
Fatima Lopez “They all” Ha, nice try, but that isnt all closed marriages/relationships. People cheat for their own reason. Cheating defines the person, not the relationship on the whole.
Such a thoughts come from a girl named fatima hahaha....no offence but i like it ..... anyway do you really believe that everyone is a cheater lol
@@tre4021 She said "Most people" cheat then she said "They All" refering to the most people she mentioned... I presume 😊. Agree with her most people who cheat don't agree to a open relationship because the are selfish liars. They rather cheat then be honest " cheap thrill" excites them I guess.
If my wife wanted to see somebody else, I'd be like all right as long as I get to watch 😁
Remember: Open relationships work until someone gets the SHORT end of the stick. Don't underestimate pain and don't overestimate honesty. TRUTH tends to be problematic for individuals.
Perfectly said!
Open relationships work until someone is actually in love
@@ashley_brown6106 Yep. That someone is gonna be loved …. unfortunately not you. 🥹
3,000 opinions? This really has me feeling like I'm the only one who doesn't care. Not in a fuck-Shannon-way, but I'm genuinely never been the one to get invested into what other people are doing. Just do you, people. It's less to stress about if you stay in your own damn lane.
No Madge i wish I could like this over and over !!!
No Madge omgggg this comment
No Madge soooo trueee, like if it doesn't effect my life I actually don't care or pay no mind
Some people do get way too pressed about what someone else is doing. But when you invite the world into the inner workings of your relationship you will get opinions. That's with anything.
Its called a discussion... lol what was your point in sharing that you couldn't care less? Exactly.... I don't think ppl are overly invested, I think they are having a conversation.
We need to get away from the notion that just because your relationship doesn’t last forever. It is unsuccessful. What’s unsuccessful if staying with someone as a sacrifice and not growth.
“Why do people get hung up on labels” whenever I hear a man say that that’s a red flag lol
A massive gigantic unbelievably-huge unavoidable red flag
yep 😒
That’s a red flag for YOU personally . Not across the board .
@Bambi no, the OP didn't specify that, so you need to calm down yourself. LOL
He's right though, adding a descriptor in front of the word relationship is usually unnecessary.
I don't feel like the term "open relationship" best describes what you guys have. Normally open relationships mean both parties can freely do what & who they want, but are mainly with each other.... having a main person that you're intimate with physically & emotionally but they're not the only one. I would call what you guys have a partnership because it's not a relationship in the traditional sense which is good. You look at him as your partner not your property. You love each other so much that you don't want to suffocate & control each other, you just ask for honesty. & honesty without passing judgment.
SlowClass Kai m
SlowClass Kai Agreed!
There is no definition for relationsship other than what the people in the relationship define it. Same goes for "open relationship". Don't categorize everything and be _open_.
Julian Arnold I am open? I personally don't care what they call it. I just think that because the term open relationship has a bad rep & it doesn't give people the best reflection of what their bond really is I wouldn't necessarily say it's an open relationship. At the end of the day they can call it whatever they want... it's just a label. They know what they have.
Julian Arnold you're exactly right. i feel like only small minded ppl here the word open and make their own assumptions on what it is and isn't. because i was one of those ppl. when you expand your mind you realize that two people can call their relationship whatever they like within their own label. just cause i think open was a certain way doesn't mean their definition on of open is the same.
Not quite sure why just yet but this open relationship topic gives me anxiety. I had no clue that I had such traditional views until I started watching these videos.
Jackie Sears same. World views on relationships and sex give me anxiety. So much I rather not know people's business neither want them to know mine because I'll judge unconsciously and they'll judge me as well for "not having fun"
Nothing wrong with that.
“What you’ve already given me is enough...”. Perfection. This is the type of statement that makes you stay with someone forever
“Know what I’m sayin’?” ...no, I don’t know what you’re saying.
Ashley Lenora 🤣
Which part didn't you understand?
Right lmao . Lets take advice from these folks lmao
So what I've gathered is that you guys are in a monogamous relationship with open conversation, Which should be the basis of every relationship, honestly you guys are in a traditional relationship. You have an open line of communication and respect each other's feelings and I think that's beautiful, every relationship should honor those values.
Nicole Ware but monogamous relationships you're not allowed to see other people, they can if they talk about it lol, that's completely different from a monogamous relationship.
Nicole Ware okay i guess we were watching two different videos.
Nicole Ware she stated she did step out with someone from the past and went on the 10 dates thing. i forget where it is in the video.
what we do for ourselves and say different.i just see selfish joining up with selfish and saying "see it works for us". plus they are push by meda. people are not fair and we know it, just no one wants to be responsible.
Nicole that's exactly what I got from this video. Their relationship is something I definitely wouldn't consider "open."
Do you think this open relationship could come from a place of insecurity?, you mention that in this style you trust each other because there is no red lines no fear of being hurt or that " pack your bags and leave scenario" , would you say you choose this lifestyle so you dont have to deal with the uncertainty of cheating? hope you dont find this question rude, genuinely interested x
Natss P I think this is the reason she agreed to this open relationship ... if you see other vids, her partner seems more adamant about open relationships than she does.
Blerta YES! You are so right! She drops marriage hints all the time and they barely been together. HE'S the one who wants to keep his options open... you shoulda heard her before she was with Jared. THIRSTY AF for a man. It was pathetic. She lowkey psycho!
I genuinely believe this. I think that this is somthing to "save yourself the pain" that you've previously felt before.. she seems like she's putting up with it to be a cool gf but idk
Natss P I agree with you . I have been with my husband for 12 years since I was 18. If someone feels that they need gratification and attention from someone other than their significant other it screams insecurity . It seems to me , in this generation of people , that we are becoming more disconnected from our relationships. They say they won't sleep with someone else but it's inevitable unfortunately . Let them live though , in the end , they will pay the price
Natss P you have a point. I feel like I'm watching two people who don't want to deal with the basic problems that arise from relationships. I came from a JKN video, where I heard Shannon talk about how she used to be 'that' jeleaous girl. I feel like this is simply the next logical step after that, which is completely denying there's even an issue there in the first place. I don't blame them though, they were brought up in a society where they teach young people, that you don't ever need to be hurt. And if you are, it's not OK and it is 'unjust'. This type of thinking unfortunately just breeds weak minded people. And it even does this thing where these same people end up ticking off the same 'box' twice. They look around them and see like-minded people who share their same weak willed mentality, and end up thinking they are on the right track. Well anyways, I've said enough. My understanding on life is still very limited, I think after I get a little older and become an adult ill be able to understand the world better. So if any adults want to flex their knowledge on me, please do so.
While reading the comments it's fascinating how people (a ridiculously large number of) completely missed the point. I've never had an open relationship but I don't think it would make someone less romantic or less "sensitive" for being involved in an open relationship. I think you both are very intelligent, passionate about your work and share something special, unfortunately, most people can't wrap their heads around that. Society has really modeled us. Bravo to you two.
But its not just about that is it? I mean a relationship is formed when two people actually like eachother AND respect eachother enough to only be with eachother, if you wanna sleep with other people then why bother with it? Because you supposedly like them a bit more? Open relationships are for idiots who want to fuck with whomever they want without all the hastle of being called cheaters, i personally believe that everyone should do as they please but as you saw many people disagree with open relationships, as do i, and for good reason.
Don't be fooled by these two clowns trying to convince us or themselves that they are in fact, in love.
@@brunettegirl1056 And many people still do believe in antisemitism and are against homosexuality, these are things that are not going to change completely, and to answer your question no i would not love one more than another but that still is different, at least i know from whom that kid is, if i just went around having sex because im in a so called "open relationship" then i wouldn't even know who to love and who should come first in my life.
You say love is not pigeonholed in a box right? Theres different types of love, and even those who sane people describe as "Mentally ill", like a pedophile, but in this case it wouldn't be considered as unhealthy and mental illness it would just be "different"..
You know when theres love between you and someone else, but you also have to be rational, something that i see missing quite often in people which is a shame..anyway take this as you wish
Marcus A. The point I was making is that just cause there’s a majority that doesn’t make you right . Perspectives change and what was once a majority can become a small minority in the future . To assume that non monogamy means just going around and fucking a bunch of people is incorrect . Every relationship has its own boundaries and limits weather it’s monogamist or open , perhaps there are only a few people in a span of years that they find themselves connected to enough to want to be intimate with maybe even non at all . Yes shocker ! some people are open and still NOT sleeping with other people because they simply enjoy trusting each other that the option is there either way .
Totally agree!!
Yes, thank you! Echoed exactly what I wanted to say. Being monogamous myself, I'm surprised that people can't put themselves in their shoes or understand it outside the context of what seeing multiple people would mean for THEM
these comments are so judgmental, I feel like people only hear what they want to hear even if they present it as an 'objective opinion from the outside'. People don't agree on many things, relationships included, and all I see is two happy, loving people wanting the best for their partner. Love and let love
Dude the RUclips comment section is the most toxic place on earth
So if ur man was to come up to u and ask if he can fuck other bitches and date other bitches and ask for u to join and u wouldn’t walk away?. That’s called not having self respect girls❤️. Sorry we just don’t want our partners to risk us for stds
@@leleyang3088 I can understand your concern of risking to catch stds, which is why safe sex needs to be communicated and boundaries have to be set (watch more of Shan's videos for more information :)). Secondly, I disagree calling other women "bitches", to me that's quite disrespectful and says more about you than whoever you're referring to. Most importantly, if your self respect depends on your partners sexual monogamy and that's how you define loyalty and relationship, that's absolutely fine. No one is trying to convince you into a relationship style that you don't feel comfortable with. All I'm saying is that not everyone shares that sentiment. And those who don't shouldn't be judged from outsiders. Different people have different moral values and perspectives, to each their own. I hope this helps :)
I love how you don't NEED each other but instead WANT each other. That is what I think is the healthiest relationship ever. The way he said if you find someone suited to you better he would let you go & be happy for you was so beautiful!
Yes
Jared said "there is no key" and although I'm married I feel like that's applicable to my relationship and every other relationship. What works for you may not work for me. There is no "key." That's dope.
I think in order to be happy in an open relationship you have to not be in love. You can love someone, but being IN love usually automatically means you're a bit possessive. In order to not be REALLY bothered by the fact that your partner is sleeping with other people, you have to be a bit emotionally detached. That's just the way it is. You can't have it both ways, but that's life
Absolutely! I had girlfriends who I saw kissing another man, but it didn't bother me because I was not in love, and because I dated other girls. But, when I am in love, it's a different beast... I would K the mother effer who would touch my woman, and I would walk away pronto if I find out she cheated! But, like you said, you can't have it both ways, and if you try to be in an open relationship when you are in love, be so called open minded, you''ll just be in constant pain and anxiety, that's when you better part ways, if one of the parties want to be open but the other doesn't!!
Bs
I've been with my man for 8 years...we have a 4 year old. We have always had a "closed" relationship but last year "opened" our relationship and we have never been more honest and communicative with one another. For us, it has honestly made our relationship the healthiest it's ever been. It's not for everyone, like anything else.
Thank you for sharing positivity among the masses of crippling hate bashing ❤️
Feel sorry for the kid involved!
Feeling sorry for the kid
Tiffany Mack I have always believed that open relationships you can breathe let it go I’ll be cool and there’s more trust and you’re probably going to be more open to communication because you’re not gonna walk on eggshells don’t give me wrong I’m not an open relationship type person I don’t think I ever will be but I would feel a lot better in an open relationship but it it’s not for me tho
Tiffany Mack get a divorce that is better
her eyes are soo green😍😩
anastasia hayes 😍😍
If you have any questions you felt were not answered - write them here, and I will answer the respectful ones. OH and happy new year! I appreciate everyone who took the time to watch part I, our relationship is special to me. Love you all differently but still equally ;)
love u gurl keep on slaying and do you ❤ hope that you will find your soulmate and marry him cuz in the end of the day an open relationship is not that simple and is not the best option :") more sucess to come❤
it's my best option. Based on the career I've chosen and how I enjoy interacting with the world outside of my romantic relationship it's genuinely best for me. And I'm so grateful to have found a partner who feels the same way. Thanks Kiw it should be a great year I so value you rocking with me
Shan BOODY i think people have such a distorted view of open relationships because its been tabooed, throughout our lives we are taught to be in relationships and to get married and that should be your main goal,to be in a monogamous relationship and because of that mentality being bred into our minds that anything different makes us react negatively and to be hateful to the people in that open relationship which is wrong in my opinion people should be able to live how they want to live but maybe the things we learn about relationships should change
There is an error in the video title
You forgot to write the word 'On' in your title.
An Open relationship would never work for me personally. But damn it I think you guys are amazing together and I am happy that that’s what makes you happy. Respect! 👊🏼
im to selfish to share.... yikes
Tyler Collins I wouldn't suggest marriage (don't know if you are of course)
Open relationships are rarely successful
Too*
cute vids oh really? How do you explain the fact that 90% of all monogamous relationships end in a devorce or a train wreck?
Yo Asakura just because someone is too selfish to share it doesn't mean that the person they'd rather not share doesn't mind sharing themselves with other people
yall sound like good friends who have feelings for each other.
This couple listen to each other to understand each other. They don't listen to respond. 🙌
They treat each other like friends/roommates and not two people in love. True love. You can’t remove labels because it is exactly what it is.
Accept, that's only your opinion.
@@kbanghart
No.....It is not.
@@whoswho2215 sure it is
@@kbanghart It really isn't
@@ntz752 I think so. Unless you can prove otherwise. It's literally an opinion. Anyone can have one.
I've never been confused as fuck watching something,it's got me thinking
Rose Lavi you're right I won't
Two mature adults who realize society standards destroys ever fiber of what a relationship entails! Kudos to you!!
Weirdly enough I think there’s more trust in open relationships.
You may very well be right, I could see that. And you can tell by how defensive some people get, they have serious issues with themselves or their own relationships.
Obviously there's more trust. There is less to lie about. Trust isn't the issue though. It's jealousy and tension.
Jacob well said, soo agree
Trust and honesty is not a non-monogamous thing. It's a person to person thing no matter what the nature of relationship is. Notion that non-monogamous relationship is somehow more honest or trustworthy is a wrong assumption. Communication breaks down because two people fail to understand each other. That's a challenge no matter ur straight gay or monogamous or whatever.
Not necessarily more trust. Just more things you can get away with that would be considered shady in a monogamous relationship.
Jared said himself, he would have a hard time being honest in a monogamous relationship, because he recognizes that his actions follows his temptations.
Only thing i would fear is catching something
She did
Thats what I was thinking
Spread the fire. Spread the love.
@@kylefuller204 for real?
@Kyle Fuller I thought she caught chlamydia in her previous „monogamous“ relationship?
I'm sorry for saying that but when you truly love someone, you don't feel the need to search for something outside of that relationship. I hope you all will be able to experience such feeling one day :)
+eciapeciaa I'm sorry to say but when you truly are happy you don't feel the need to validate your own choices by trying to school others outside of your belief system. I don't know shit about how to best live others' lives. That knowledge has freed me a lot. I hope you will be able to experience such freedom oneday
Shan BOODY wow that was not my intention to force my opinion to others. It's just my personal believe and I think that it's the best feeling ever that's why I wrote that I hope that you will experience it. I don't care how you live your life. you are clearly really proud of your choice. But it's not a war, Shannon. As long as you are happy just focus on yourself and your man. I never meant to hurt your feelings
+eciapeciaa I get it and I hope you guys understand I'm far beyond being hurt by a strangers opinion of a snapshot of my life. I make this content to help you understand yourself or spark conversations with people around you to help understand them more and as I've stressed many times.. I don't do it in hopes you will diagnose or judge me. I'm writing this to you because I care and hope u can apply this brief exchange to other areas of your life. All the best lover
lol you both start by saying sorry.. there's something that goes with that i find funny. if you have to say sorry then, -one dont or -two dont. i hope we all look back on this one day and giggle.
Greta Gr I completely agree with you. I find it hard to believe that two people can truly love each other yet require some things outside of the relationship or have a need that can only be filled by someone else outside the relationship. How is that even true love? Maybe extreme like (while wanting to keep options open) but definitely not love. I even think that the term "open relationship" is an oxymoron. The whole point of being in a relationship implies some form of exclusivity where you would rather be with that person and experience things, the journey and wonderful nuances of love, with that person above being with others. Otherwise just be single and have your multitude of needs met by several different people. I mean to each his own. I dont see this lasting because i think all the open relationship / polyamorous people waste too much energy instead of having things be simple. it really defeats the purpose of being with a person if you're "open" to having emotional, sexual, intellectual or other needs met by someone else instead of the person you're with. Some kind of rude awakening may occur or realization that if either is being fulfilled by someone else outside the relationship then why would the person just not be with that other person?!
I think your open relationship is an example of how monogamous relationships should operate. You have a code of conduct but trust each other implicitly and communicate openly and frequently.
People are sooo triggered by open relationships. If you are a whole within yourself what another person does shouldn't affect you. Especially if everyone's honest and you truly care about each other.
Torrance Johnson finally a comment that makes sense
You'll basically be lonely forever lmao
@@jackie12333 not really
It’s not about feeling whole or not, you can feel as whole with one partner, the thing with open relationship it’s not for a couple who want to raise children that would prosper in society, if you want to raise children you can’t be in an open relationship
@@rania.f6421 incorrect
I LOVE how transparent you guys are. You have helped me understand the open relationship “label” even though I don’t think it needs one (except to have something to explain to others). I can tell you both have a high self esteem and confidence to trust one another and allow each other freedom without too much jealousy or feeling of threat. Gonna start telling my followers on IG, tiktok, and RUclips about you. I’m learning so much
so you're space fillers in each others lives? While you explore other people until you find the one? or will there actually never be just "one"? because I remember Shannon saying that she does want to get married one day....
+JoAnnie A girl ...or boy I guess. Because I know myself so well your rules don't work for me. Your idea of love doesn't come from your own heart but from what you've been told you're supposed to feel from others. A person who's name you don't even know is responsible for how you feel. Sit on that before you start diagnosing me and my love
wait.. what? I have a genuine question. U didn't even answer it instead u went off on me for asking. I didn't diagnose you Im really just curious AF. Im a girl btw and actually I've been watching you for years. Trust me, not judging u at all.
+JoAnnie A I made two long videos and at the end of it, you chose to write your own "so basically" assessment that is not remotely what either one of us has said.. and you're confused why I found your comment distasteful?
honestly anyone you date and don't end up with is a "space filler" if that's what you want to call them. If they were exclusive to eachother and one of them wanted to be with someone else that doesn't mean the other person is just a space filler. If my husband wanted to leave me for another woman I wouldn't make him stay and I wouldnt think that I was there just until he found someone better. The thing about them is that they are willing to be mature about it, if that happens. Most people get vengeful and spiteful if someone decides to end the relationship.
Facts!!! I’ve seen other open relationships and something is off about them and the reasons behind their choice.
At first I wasn't with this but after listening I understand. No I OVERstand. Thank you for sharing and opening my mind.
KristynAlexis same here
sacoope1 oooh you sound like you got sour grapes !
Jealousy is ugly !!!!
Even if it is thinly disguised as advice .
sacoope1 Sounds like you know from experience. Cool story bro
are you aware that most people kiss at the end of a first date and thats totally the societal norm? So if someone single goes on 5 dates with 5 different people in a span of 5 months thats totally valid and okay, but if someone goes on a 5 dates with 5 different people in a span of 5 months and they're in a relationship, suddenly they need to be hyper aware of the dangers of STIs. stop.
KristynAlexis child what is open minded about this? You think in this old planet she is the first one to come up with sexual indulgence ?? Ask the Romans and the Egyptians and the Greeks how they got down for years and years. This is not of God but the devil.
The part about resentment from not cashing out when a relationship abruptly ends blew my mind. It’s so true. When you advocate for your needs in every step along the way you can move on (a little easier) without feeling that you’ve been taken advantage of.
Me and my boyfriend are starting an open relationship. I dont feel any jealousy towards my boyfriend for being with other women. Everyone ALWAYS says that. I think it was drilled into our brains to be restricted to only one person. I wanna explore, I wanna grow as a person and i love the freedom of being able to go out and not have to restrict myself when I dont want to.
Why not just be single if you want to be “free” lol
@@iammeltedvengence1234 because I love him and wanna be with him
@@ieattastyfood be with him only....
@@ieattastyfood Me and my girlfriend will be starting an open relationship soon. At first I was hesitant and went through many different emotions about it. The only reason I was against it at first is because I was afraid of what others would think about us. I think I've gotten to a point where I don't care what people think about me.
@@solomongrundy1467 How did it go?
He can get mad about this, but why would you avoid not going to the movies if she's w/ another man, when you agreed to this situation?
I think it's more like, he accepts it but doesn't want his nose rubbed in it. I am thinking of an example like say your mom got a new boyfriend and you accepted that they were together, doesn't mean you wanna see them making out ya know?
Sammantha sandoval Lol your pretty much the intelligent person I've had to reply to in this comment section. Even though that may be true; thats what an open relationship is. you see other people while your still in an a "open relationship" he not only accepted it he agreed to it
" Love is happy when it is able to give something. The ego is happy when it is able to take something. "- Osho
both are needed
"Advocate for your own needs in the moment." Brilliant!
he is so woke and i love the fact that he said an open relationship isn't the key to a healthy relationship its beautiful how you guys don't try to enforce your beliefs upon anyone but rather explain it. I honestly never understood why people would have an open relationship and have never liked the thought of having one myself but this opened my eyes to a different perspective.
This dude isn't brad Pitt for her to have lost her mind.
Fruity Pebbles she was this way before she met him. Don't blame the guy. Also, he probably has a wonderful personality. Not everyone is into looks 😒
If you don't get it, then you don't fucking get it. You don't have to be a shit head about it.
Deadass agree plus she's beautiful.
I love you Shannon and whatever works for you is what you should do....but in my opinion.... it's all fun and games until someone gets pregnant.
everything has a cost
Do u know that condoms exist right
I genuinely don’t understand it. Why be in a relationship then? Especially if there is potential of meeting someone better that you would prefer to secure the relationship? I get everyone lives the life they want and each to their own. I just genuinely and naively don’t get it
Just to say and feel like they have someone so they won't feel alone til they find someone better pretty much FWB.
There nothing wrong with an open relationship clearly people be out here with 4 years with a man who just played them anyways lol or didnt marry thrm but them on hold
@@ghisellesimon162 So you admitted its cheating because a woman in a relationship is being "played anyways" yall not slick. Cheating is still cheating
@@Blessed_Sound if that partner says no to open relationship that other partner is 100% gonna cheat
any relationship can work as long as you open and honest with it. the best way to be is expressive about your knees.
I just appreciate how understanding and straightforward they are with each other about whats really happening with them emotionally and sexually, thats the way every relationship should be, "open" or otherwise.
Shan, It seems like your definition of open relationship is rooted in deep and complete love and acceptance of yourself and a trust in life in general that everything is always going to be ok. This resonates with me bc as I go through divorce I see how much manipulation and control is in traditional relationships. The cardinal rules are nothing but psychological manipulation tactics rooted in the fear and shame behind not being able to "keep your man" ...But even if you follow all the rules to a tee, look good, smell good, keep the house clean, cook, etc, the fate of the relationship is at the mercy of whatever the other person WANTS to do and your perspective of it. At the end of the day everyone will eventually find a way to do what they want to do. Open relationship is releasing that grip of trying to control how someone else feels thinks and lives. You can only control YOU and know that if the other person begins to do things that make you uncomfortable and starts crossing boundaries, you can walk away... Here's my question to you though: What kind of boundaries do you have in place in your open relationship, if any?
+DEANA TEHARTE I feel like you and I would have amazing conversations
Shan BOODY Yassss you are my spirit animal. lol! Im in the "behind the scenes" production state of my RUclips Channel and blog both AllThingsMommy101. I have already set an intent into the atmosphere to collab with like-minded people like you. See you soon! 😉😊😄
DEANA TEHARTE I love your perspective! 💖💖💖
DanceSexMusicHipHop Thank you 💜
Open relationships like monogamy solve as many problems as they create. Just do what's best for YOUR SPECIFIC partnership(s).
Agreed
Open relationship kills cheating and other things
Wow thanks for sharing you really clarified a lot for me. I always assumed an "open relationship" meant sex with multiple partners. I had no idea that you could be monogamous as well. Kudos to you for taking charge of your own romantic and sexual health!
Thank you for an open mind!!
Chewlifeup That’s still true though.... Open marriage means you can be married to one person, and have have sex with multiple other people.
were she joking when she said they had sex with ari?
@@hannahzain9517 RIGHT I WANNA KNOW 😂😂😂
I just spent however many minutes/hours watching your spot on The View, your first Open Relationship vid, and this one. I am just D R I N K I N G it in. THANK YOUUUUUU for the much-needed dialogue!!
I can't even begin to tell you how sweet of a compliment that is. LIKE THE HIGHEST FORM OF COMPLIMENT! Wow thank you for your time
You are soooo articulate and coherent, it is beautiful and refreshing to watch. I wish more people would embrace even just self-awareness and honesty, this world would become like a ...a dream come true. STOP BEING SO AFRAID!! Knowledge is POWER. Dive in.
To those who ask if they love each other - I think it is obvious. If they didn't, they wouldn't be able to give this space for personal growth to each other. :) although, this is not my personal choice for a relationship. I am deeply in love myself and I don't take away the option to see other people from my partner, but I know that for me it would be a deal breaker. And same thing for them. We both communicated that clearly to each other and that's how our mutual trust was born.
Love is a beautiful thing. You cannot copy it and you cannot apply same rules to everyone. :) the most important thing is to find a person who will love you the same way as you love them. That way, open or not, your relationship will work.
Your partner is so lucky you are such an intelligent beautiful human being. thanks for finding me
Thank you for reminding us that love can be so diverse.
tgvtgv I have to disagree. It's impossible to find someone who will love you in the same way because a man's mind and a woman's mind are too different (unless your gay then I guess you might). But when you say you cannot copy love from others, that's very true. A large majority of couples have very crooked relationships. They know they simply don't connect but they try to force themselves to love each other. And a lot of the time they even convince themselves that they are actually in love. They way they apparently show love to each other is simply the carbon copy of something they saw a couple do elsewhere. And of course these types of relationships with already shaky foundations are prone to infidelity. If you can have a relationship with someone, that is unique between the two of you then that's where it counts. A relationship should not and can not ever be measured by external eyes.
I feel like this video is so educational and even people who dont favor from open relationships can learn something from this because I'm sure every person in the world wants their partner to be this open and happy with them. The level of support you guys have for each other is so wholesome 💛
Honestly I find a lot of the concepts in your open relationship CAN relate to a traditional relationship also. I am married and if my husband thinks he can find someone better than me then he’s open to fkn try lol. There’s the door buddy. I am confident enough in myself that I know I am special but if he wants someone different who am I to MAKE him stay. Also I don’t want someone who doesn’t want to be ALL IN.
Also here in 2019 watching this video lol.
I think you both have to be open
You can be confidently wrong. Good luck
@@LolDude179 she's not wrong. How can her feelings and opinions about her relationship be wrong? Lmfao
I'm just so confused in this generation. Nothing is as clear cut as it used to be (which is ok) but I just wonder why we have to make shit so complicated these days. If you want to be sexually/emotionally/mentally free to connect with anyone at anytime... my advice is to go ahead and be single.
kimberly_k I love your comment omg
Rite this whole idea is foolish when you can just be single. It’s so odd to me but w/e
All relationships are complicated. You're fooling yourself, if you believe monogamous relationships are easier to maintain. If you're not talking about your relationship openly and honestly, like a lot of open relationships do, you will probably end like the majority of "monogamous" relationships...with one or both sides cheating.
Secondly, single and having a primary partner, e.g. the one in your open relationship, are totally different. If you're single, you're probably not spending your vacations together, you don't plan your life together, you don't invest as much in your relationship. Compared to a very deep friendship the line might be blurry, but usually there is a huge distinction.
This just shows, that you're completely ignorant to the topic. My advice to you: don't give others your advice on topics, you don't know anything about. The reception will most likely always be negative.
You said it on point. Im in this young generation and I just can’t seem to understand half of the stuff they talk about.
Exactly seems like their more best friends with sex and are not aware of how their justifications are just excuses for insecurity.
I love this video! I’m 22 and married. My husband and I have been in a monogamous relationship for 4 years and this relationship wouldn’t work for us, but you’re relationship with each other is so strong. You can tell how great of a connection you guys have and it reminds me of my husbands and I, very honest and trusting. Love this, keeping doing what works for you because it is beautiful❤️❤️
Kaitlyn Pavao Thank you so much for giving a positive example of understanding both lifestyles without feeling the need to say one is better than the other or to bash on anyone’s ideals . Keep on being a light :)
Kaitlyn Pavao STRONG?
@@anarchistmaverick9507 Yes, why do you disagree?
I just discovered your channel and binge watching your videos, and I am so humbled by how open minded, understanding , how much trust and love there is between the two of you. I’m in a monogamous relationship, but learning from your relationship is eye-opening and fantastic. Thank you! 🙏🏻
I couldn’t :/ this kind of relationship would break my heart..
Macy Gurden same:(
Same girl same
Same girl same...i recently finally had a talk with my crush and she said she's always in a open relationship, i just have a really shitty feeling now.
Im a guy and I agree
yea same I can't have my significant other be with someone else it will get to me tbh even if I agree to it at the beginning. I'm not a very jealous person but sharing my girlfriend with someone else is beyond me but to each their own I guess maybe im just built different
why are you mad? you said you are in an open relationship on the internet. you didn't expect 3000 opinions on it?
she's not mad Honey
Paul James lol she never said she was mad🤔
i get what you mean. used the wrong word "mad" triggers people and blocks them from seeing a valid point (regardless if you are a troll). your answer is found here, by seeing yourself being misunderstood. like here .. hope this helped
Who said she's mad? TF?
Beautiful people have real struggle with relationships, I wonder why, I thank God am I don't fall in that category. I would never settle for such an arrangement .
In 2018 we are all in "OPEN" relationships. People just don't realize it. To me? An "Open relationship" is just people keeping it 100. #Facts
"People just don't realize it"
Oh what you mean all you assholes that cheat because you feel like it? Get a fucking grip and stop spreading this bullshit around more, cheating can be very hurtful and happens to people that actually don't deserve any of it, id say you people do but you fuckers already do.
I guess my words are harsh enough, hopefully you'll all just come to your senses and stop with this nonsense.
SoloSphere Entertainment explain how we all are in an open relationship?
@@anarchistmaverick9507 I think because everyone fantasizes sometime about cheating.
SoloSphere Entertainment Keeping it 100? Lol, do you mean, telling your SO youre going to go fuck someone else? As long as you consent to cheating, that is what makes it okay?
@@ahappilydrunkpuppy8961 lol you are so triggered right now
I really enjoyed listening to both of you and a lot of it reminds me of attachment and childhood work. For example, many of us were told we would be loved unconditionally when we told our parents the truth, but then the opposite happened and we were punished for telling the truth. Later in life, it becomes scary to tell the truth with intimate partners for fear of rejection. This was like a breath of fresh air and reminds me I can heal now. Relationship seems awesome and more importantly you both seem like whole people who care about each other
So u like open re... ?
I cannot commend you both enough for level of honesty n maturity you both display here..may be if more of us talked on a level like this..we'd have less drama in relationships.. less divorces etc..and more thought entering into unions we don't really understand..
her eyes are insanely beautiful wow
I really love how articulately you speak, even the words you choose to use convey your ideas are as accurately and as clear as possible, you'd make an amazing teacher.
6:11 so basically if I find out you cheat WITHOUT asking me first then it’s over. Because I’ve given you every opportunity to do it in my face 😂🤦🏽♀️
I just feel open relationship just mean giving premission to your partner or self to have sex with anyone at any time without consequences.
Its not for me.
You both radiate beautiful, bright energy. All the best you you and everyone in life! 🧡🧡
I mean I just don't get it. Stop wasting each other's time.
GUYS, I really love how you put it so well together and it is just awesome! People be hating but they don't even try to understand. Nothing is good or bad, it's just different and I find it beautiful that you guys know what you want and are happy about it. Communication is key! You two are amazing.
This is so important, i hope lifestyles like this one are shared more as we awaken. This simple change in relationships would seriously fix so many "issues"
Omg I feel this at 1000000!!!!! I love this!!!
I just started a open relationship and I’m about to send this to him so he can understand ME!!!
I loved this video, after watching this and the older one my mind was truly opened up to the dynamics and purpose of having an open relationship. I used to be the kind of person to say "open relationships aren't for me because I'm too jealous," assuming that having an open relationship means partners constantly on the prowl for new experiences without the other person being involved. But based off of your experiences, and your way of defining your relationship, I think that open relationships can be super healthy because all you want is the best for the other person, within your comfort zone.
I am almost 18, and my few(ish) relationships haven't been the greatest of experiences. I have a hard time listening to my heart, and I'm the biggest pushover. And in my past when I have struck up the courage to communicate things I'm not comfortable with, for example being super intimate in public, my feelings are never validated and things go back to the way they were within a few days.
Currently, I am happy being single. I am allowing myself to experience different people, emotionally and physically, while still maintaining my own space to grow within myself.
People like you, Shan Boody, give me life. You help me maintain my positive attitude and remind me that my feelings are valid, and that really means a lot. Please keep doing what you're doing, being your beautiful self, and keeping it real. Love you boo
+Zoe Mobley this was a great read Zoe thanks for sharing
Y'all are so mature. tbh the level of communication needed to have this type of relationship is remarkable. That characteristic is truly admirable , wish y'all the best
I actually love this. I never ever seen two people so comfortable and understanding about growing as a person.
Loved how Ari just made her way into the video lol.
Why even be In a relationship then..just be a single open person..maybe I'm missing something
They said it involves communication and stuff idk
All relationships are relationships. They are living their lives as partners, but utilize communication and trust on the highest level. Love is freedom. Wanting to connect with someone outside the partnership in an emotional or physical way doesn't invalidate the rest of their partnership.
Monogamy will never work long term for any relationship. One day you’ll learn this harsh truth yourself.
@@masteroftheunseen7941 dude said he doesn't like knowing his shorties back is being blown out by other nigas. Please explain how there is trust.
Wanting the best of both worlds. Rarely works out though.
I’m a messy unorganized person. There is no way I could handle an open relationship.
I love love love this video. Thank you guys so much for being so open. I'm 22 years old and very interested in non-traditional relationships. In regards to the life I want to lead, I need to have the freedom to grow and connect with people (in a completely healthy manner). I want the person/people I'm with to want the same thing for me and themselves.
In conclution they are in a relationship untill they find someone else
But isn't that all relationships, you seek to be committed to someone until you get married or decide its not going to work/ you find something you think would work better for you and break things off to pursue it.
@@honeyblue0190 then why get married if not truly committed to making it work ? Never put a ring on a women's hand with your mentality..marriage is supposed to be for a lifetime or doesn't make sense.
Y'all teeth are so white . :0
H.R.P Kerby Kerbz lmao 😂
I was so intrigued and empowered by this!
Thank you for sharing how you navigate this.
I would only add:
What if we rejected “if they find someone better than me” and began internalizing “if they find someone better ✨for them✨ than me”
That way the value of “me” does not change inherently based on someone else’s outward perception and needs, and instead is objectively worthy and worthwhile!
What I'm understanding from this video is that the 'openness' doesn't just speak to being open or free to have multiple partners, it also has a lot to do with being open with your 'main' partner in terms of honesty and creating a safe and open space for communication.
Hey!
Most people don't understand free, and creative thinkers. No matter how much you explain they won't fully understand. We are just different. :)
I love you guys. This is my fav video ive seen in a while.
I respect their relationship. How honest they can be with each other as well as themselves. To be able to be free mind / body AND be able to have an open conversation about it. Respect!
Thank you guys for putting videos like this out. I know there’s a lot of negativity in the comments but what people don’t realize is that it’s because your relationship is so strong that being open is even an option, not because one of you is “brainwashed” or y’all just secretly want to break up. Keep doing what y’all doing ❤️
i think you guys are really intellegent and brave for making this video! thank you for educating me more!
I feel like she’s just too mature for him. He’s still in his “having fun” phase. If you have to sleep with someone other than your partner, a relationship shouldn’t be there at all.
"a relationship shouldn’t be there at all" That makes no sense
For YOU.
I am completely honest, I could never deal with this type of relationship, even though I have the same views as they do, just without the "seeing other people" part. And I believe that that's because I lack that ability. I really respect them for their confidence and trust in each other and most of all for how strong they are. Not seeing another human being as something we posses and that belongs to us, but instead seeing them as a person, is one of the hardest things to do. Thanks for sharing this video, it's very mind opening.
I love people that live their lives unapologetically. Much love and respect to you guys for being so open. Nobody else has to agree with YOUR lifestyle.. they aren't paying your bills. Keep doing you
What happened to being with one person and both of you doing the best to be the best person they both can be so you can help the other grow? A lot of trust there than just having multiple people helping you 'grow'...
Paul James Well so far neither of them have multiple partners... like she said last time that they'll cross that bridge when they get there. I keep seeing u all over the comments.
just in this video tho LOL and what is the definition of multiple partners?
I couldn't agree with you more beautiful. Communication is what makes the relationship not a label.
Both of you spoke so eloquently and intelligently, also this level of trusting in a person is admirable.❤
It is. But it's easier to trust in my opinion due to their openness.
I’ve been following you for a minute but I just want to say I love you. I truly love you and your relationship. Hopefully one day I will be able to have what the both of you have. Piece of mind, trust and confidence within and self and each other. To many more years of freedom
I wasn't going to say anything
because I do believe in being
positive and respectful....
Jared, seems to be a total
sweetie but honestly, I think he
loves the heck out of you just not
*in love with you* ~
so its more like you guys are into the opportunity to love other people romantically but you still have each other as the main base. I also see that you both seem very independent and do not need the relationship to define your status in life
The only major comment that makes sense ! It’s really not a hard concept to grasp! People just don’t like it .
I think there IS a key for relationships, and you've said it: communication. Not attacking, or being defensive, but having the space to honestly talk about each others needs, and being open to search a middle ground where both parties are happy.
Open relationships build so much trust there’s nothing being hidden.