All women treat boundaries as if they're personal insults. Political Leftists behave the same way. The trans community behaves the same way. The reason that all of these different groups behave the same way is because they all follow precisely the same psychology
My Dad was dying from cancer, and my ex-covert narc wife came over to visit. My Dad was breathing and not aware of what was going on; he was dying. The Covert Narc stood really tall while sitting on a chair and grabbed his hand to pray. She faked the prayer and then tilted her head and talked to him like she was a loving family member and gave fake sympathy. She spoke maybe three times to my Dad in the last 10 years. She was so fake that even my family members said it was really bad. She then asked if she could go to my bedroom to do work on the computer. I said there was no internet up there, so she faked working in another room and left in 5 minutes, her intention was to search my old bedroom. She was only taking photos of my parent's house to build a case against me for a divorce. Narc's are truly evil, the level of what they will go to destroy others, can't be comprehended.
my narc disappeared after a 3yr relationship, and she knew my father was sick. so when my father passed, and i never called her....i couldnt deal with the fakeness. she found out and couldnt understand why i didnt tell her . i felt like telling her i didnt tell the guy that pumps my gas either!
That is a good point about hypervigilant. They seem to misinterpret words and actions as being an attack against them even if something just “ is” and you’re just relaying information. Then because you have “hurt” them or criticized them or wounded them, allegedly, then you must be punished for that It is like some sort of irrational offensiveness over any possible word, tone, or action. Then you are super cautious with what you say and do, and walk on eggshells just to keep the peace. You may apologize for what you think you did wrong, but it may just be fake and all designed to get you worked up or emotional so then you can be painted as a bad person.
I used to think my ex was empathetic because of how much she liked and appreciated and cared about dogs…. But she ONLY liked the dogs that immediately were only showed constant love and affection for her. Over the years we had multiple dogs, and she would want to discard the ones that formed the bond with me.
I once dated a woman who got jealous of her own dog because it liked playing with me and I was giving it attention back because I like dogs too. I thought it would be a good thing if anything, but I guess she didn’t like it as we weren’t focused on her. She said something about how she believed men are not supposed to give affection to animals and children. That that was a women’s role and men are supposed to give affection only to women. It was a weird thing to say and seemed completely against the “empathetic/loving/kind” persona she presented up to that point. I realize now that the dog was just a source of supply to her and that’s what she was looking for in me.
My ex wanted to hook me by dog that i didnt want but I accepted it as her part od therapy. Then she was jealous when the dog took me as alpha in pack😅 wierd human beings are those people.
Damn… just made me realize another thing she did to me 😢and my dogs. An every kitten that started as a house cat until they didn’t like her and then were booted outside never to be aloud in again.
@oakhauser 4 years together and I always thought we could fix it. I finally realized it was never going to go back to the way it was in the beginning when it was amazing. I figured out she just didn't care at all about me. I know now there is no fixing it with a narcissist.
This is another timely video, thank you. In the past, when we went to Counseling, my ex-wife told me she had worked on all her childhood issues and she was fine now. All problems were because of me, my family, etc… However, she said I “was the problem” and she said that she just ‘wanted me to get the help that I needed’ whatever that meant I was also told that I didn’t have any empathy or compassion, that I was prideful, selfish, and ‘emotionally abusing’ her. She even told me that I was a narcissist from time to time. What I have since realized is what she calls “lack of empathy” is my anger, frustration, and annoyance of being mistreated by her and having my needs for love, respect , and care be ignored, downplayed, or criticized with things like shame, guilt, and emasculation But I think of the ways I was talked to, and I started writing things down and talking to others, I realize that’s not how I talk to others. I don’t cut them down, shame them, belittle them, or guilt them like she does. There was also this spirit of ‘needing to be right at all costs.’ To dominate and control situations, and punish you if you contradicted her or made her look bad in any way. In actuality, I believe I am an empathetic person, but I was just getting beat down by all the toxic treatments. With time and distance, I’m learning and growing and healing and taking extra steps to watch out for people who act in these ways. I also wonder if Counseling was ever a good idea, because one of the last ones was more “woke“ and he seemed to believe everything she said, and leaned on me as the problem, that I just needed to listen more, pump her up, say nice things, etc. She was able to direct the counseling interactions and due to reactive abuse or emotional baiting, She knew how to poke at me to get a response and then she could tell him “see, he’s the problem” he’s mistreating me, etc..
If I hadn't been married for 26 years I might say that I married your ex. I'm told all of those same things on a least weekly and sometimes daily basis.
This is a exactly the last 5 years of marriage. I already have been excommunicated to living in the basement and my toothbrush has lived on the kitchen counter. She served me with divorce papers 3 months ago. Then she accused me of child abuse during the holidays to get me out of the house. I knew she had mental problems but I have lost all my empathy for her. I have escaped with my life after all of the emotional abuse. I am turning red pill towards women and relationships. I make a lot of dough and realize it is all a game to get my assets. Never again!
Because all narcissistic individuals regardless of gender are triggered by shame and lack the capacity for self reflection long enough to learn from it. Shame dismantled their ego so the defense mechanisms kick in D.A.R.V.O and let the games begin.
i was fooled many times and opened myself up to hurt numerous of times these people have no connection nor do they care about anyone not even their own children
Yeah, it’s wild man. My ex gf was actually pretty familiar with the terminology and stuff. So if I called her out for gaslighting, etc, she would throw it right back at me as if I’m doing it. Became really confusing, these relationships can become really blurred when you’re in it because now they’re educated. But they use the information to victimize themselves whereas a victim of it will learn it genuinely, and maybe even see some things in themselves. I’m sure she’s posting narcissistic stuff about me on social media, not sure I blocked her. But she probably is, said her ex was a narcissist etc but I realized after awhile he was probably a normal dude who started acting abusive due to her crazy making. She literally wanted to be abused so she could play victim
It hard having a boyfriend or girlfriend who is on here psycho analyzing you and labeling you. They use every term …. narcissist, gaslighting stone Wally, you name it. Maybe they really do believe you are a narcissist from what they learn on here or maybe they’re the narcissist.
D.A.R.V.O. again, plus she gets dopamine rewards and monetary rewards for projecting her issues outward. 😂sad but funny our society rewards it and we all wonder why there's so many narcissistic people out there.
Thank you again Lise for standing up fir us guys 😎. your episodes have helped me through some of my darkest hours … you youngsters… listen to this Lady . she knows her stuff 👍🏼
Alli can say is female covert narcissist is pure evil....never in my life did I imagine I would be involved with one...i feel like she destroyed my life. 7 months no contact. I don't miss the gaslighting one bit...I'd rather be sad, lonely and depressed than going thru the hell I went thru. Lise u are 1000000% spot on. Merry Xmas
going through the same thing here...took a coworker to tell me what is happening to me. Moving out March 1st. its hell for sure...good riddance! Happy Holidays and congrats for moving on!
Same here... I never knew about narcissism until end of may 2024. I thought I was the problem up to my awakening after I isolated myself for clarity. The narcissist is a devil incarnate. I thank God I am free after 32 years of emprisonnement.
I feel the exact same way, only male covert narc with some BPD thrown. I broke up with him 5 months ago, and he hit the ground running to another woman. I'd love to warn her, but I know I'd be twisted into being the narc just like he did to me about the woman before me!! My consolation is knowing he will never be truly happy. It's all the same cycle...love bomb, devalue/discard rinse repeat.
Excellent video.The narc has a personality disorder.These creatures are miserable and bitter inside.They are never content or at peace for long.They look for others to keep them
I like to share something vulnerable early in relationships. If they weaponize them I walk away and if they treat them with respect then they might be a keeper.
If you smells the other person is faking or have shallow empathy towards you... run...It will never gonna workout...People like these are seeing other people like toys and change toys when they are bored..And they will lie to you until you catch them red handed..But you should use your emotional intelligence and never let these people know or hint to them that you know what they are hiding..Just silently walk away from drama and have every evidence record and maintain your boundaries...Remember never let them know that you know their game.
@@thingsifixedExactly. Anyone giving off-vibes is labeled a narcissist now. Fake behavior, masking, dismissiveness can be signs of anxiety, autism, covering up insecurity, etc.
@@johnny4062 No need to get defensive lol. Maybe you felt called out. People who have anxiety are not automatically shallow when it comes to things like empathy. Actually most are usually even more empathetic and considerate. And newsflash, all narcissists are very insecure.
@@nostalgicbliss5547 I was just replying to the other commenter because I agreed with him. Narcissism and NPD are trendy right now in pop psychology and so every unhealthy behavior gets labelled as narcissism nowadays. Here's an example. I was just expressing my honest opinion and you called me defensive. Newsflash, calling people "defensive" in that context is a textbook move by narcissists to "gaslight" their victims into questioning their reality ;)
@@johnny4062 I just don't buy that anxiety and autism leads to all those behaviors. I have dealt with some social anxiety and it didn't make me less empathetic or become dismissive. A lot of these narcissistic traits are seen even in childhood, most people do not really change.
My co-student Viktoria is one - permanent victim, complete lack of ownership of bad behaviour, low empathy, transactional, emotional disregulation, needs supply.
Thank you for this video. 6years ago, I dated a woman who seems to the criteria you've included in this video. I was fortunate enough to escape very early in the relationship ( a combination of her cheating and instinct on my part) but because of gaslighting I wrestled with guilt for years afterward. Again thank you.
"Emotional punching bag" -- spot on! That was exactly the phrase that I used to describe myself regarding her behaviour towards me, and that behaviour kicked in very early in the relationship. She used to say, "When you love someone, you'll do anything for them", yet she wasn't there for me when I needed her the most. I still don't fully understand the difference between an empath and a covert narc, though; I'm puzzled regarding how their shadow sides work -- would love it if you could do a video explaining the difference between them, Lise. Thank you so much for your content; it is truly appreciated. ❤Merry Christmas to you -- and to everyone else!
Empathetic people are capable of comforting someone who's in distress because they can feel someone else's pain. A narcissist only projects their own pain onto others and can't feel nor handle theirs or yours. (Oh, and Merry Christmas to you! 💜)
Thank you, Lise. It's both unsettling and reassuring (!) to hear these patterns articulated so accurately. Your list is word for word exactly what I've been living with for over twenty years of marriage,. It was only over the past year when I finally learned boundaries that I realized the extent of her performative empathy, the illusion of emotional intelligence , and her ease with gaslighting. Even our therapist recognized it as abusive. She initiated the divorce process this year, because I wasn't good enough, yet is dragging it out while taking every opportunity to let me know how my "emotional problems" (aka my boundaries) made me a bad partner then and make me a bad parent now. It hurts, but I try not to give her the reactions she's trying to provoke. Your video is a helpful reminder to see these behaviors for what they are and more importantly, not to buy into her efforts to create self-doubt. I'm set to lose quite a lot of money, but it's the price of freedom and space to be the dad my kids need. Thank you again. Your work makes a difference and is appreciated.
@@SofiaYasmin Journaling, sitting in silence, watching videos about NPD, reflecting on how others treat me, or tell me how I treated them earlier. I just became more aware of my words and actions and how they can affect others.
Took me long to figure thst out from her. In fact, i figure it out after the breakup. Explains a lot. You're now figured out, and you're on a special list, made especially for you!
Another good one. I don't understand how you consistently get to the details that are spot on. Must be many years of sitting in sessions listening to, and helping others. I am grateful.
Not any more, I have given enough of my life and energies to someone who has drained me. And now I need to work on me building me back to where I should be, could be in life.
There is so many narcissism in the mental health industry it's not funny. Patients are such easy targets to get supply from. Instant boost to their false self in constant need of propping up.
@@lukepatch5160 Healthcare and first responder fields attract toxic individuals like that. Anything that gives power over others or expose them to weaker people gets them off.
My ex used to tell me that I sucked at empathy and she had super human levels of empathy. No one before or since had ever told me that. She couldn't hold a job, got drunk and blamed everything on "migraines" for why nothing ever went right in her life, not to mention the explosive anger. Then came the alcoholism. I didn't dodge a bullet, I dodged an ICBM
I am so glad I found these. It's like you are describing my marriage and hellish divorce. I always knew deep down I needed to run away and escape. It all makes so much sense now, hearing everything you say. Thank you so much
Nowadays the moral values have been lost and put to ridicule.the motto is to be individualistic snd selfish. There are RUclips videos teaching to become a shitty person to others as the only way yo get to a successful life😢. Hood people are often ridiculed and bullied by families, relatives, friends and coworkers.
There's no such a thing as an "empath", empathy is no superpower and excess of empathy is overwhelming and disabling instead of "oh i can understand ALL about you teehee".
My ex said "people say I'm empathetic". Really? Showed zero empathy with me when you broke it off. Cried and was just stared at, was told "I don't care about you or what happens in your life", "go fucking kill yourself". So yeah...empathetic. Maybe to others and maybe in the beginning, but certainly not to me now
@@SurnaturalM what do you call it when someone shares a story of betrayal and you feel anger because you can feel into the experience, or you see a person fall and you feel it in your body, ir m
Thank you for this video, Lise! My nex portrayed herself as an empath, but not until 3 years into the relationship and especially at the end at 3.5 years.
@Lise you have no idea how your videos quote, almost to exact words, my wife. It is videos like this that have helped enable me to not care about her antics, focus on what matters- and carry forward, finding happiness where possible. Thank you for your videos!
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Yes to all of this. This was my life for a decade. I call myself happily divorced, but I’m finding that the happy part is just relief from the trap I was in. Now that I’m ten years out and looking to maybe enjoy the company of others , Some find my communication and carefulness to be exhausting. Nice work as usual!
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I have actually subscribed. I went to therapy, another therapy, meanwhile aupported myself with proper RUclips videos. I learnt a lot. Thank you for your good work, Leblanc. All I understand now, when I watch this video is: I have a value.
My mom started learning about narcissistic abuse and talked about it constantly…saying this person was giving her the silent treatment and that person was gaslighting. Suddenly telling me that her father was a narcissist. She was constantly in victim mode and wanting sympathy. When she thought I was feeling sympathetic she tried to engage me in one of her emotional rages. I put her ass out and suddenly she was so sorry. I slept like a baby because that was the the first she didn’t leave me in tears. I drove her 1 and a half hours back to her house…she probably thought we would be stuck doing this over and over until after the holiday. Nope…I actually wanted to enjoy my Christmas.
Exciting video. A year ago i took the no contact route, well i wouldnt say it didnt go well, but i missed her and sometimes you have to leave your comfort zone and go for what you want, Without knowing and having a huge ego, we might actually miss out on our soul mate all in the name of not settling for less, I know who i am, and at the same time i know what i want for me, so i did all i could to get her back, and I must say, it was the best decision i have ever made, we have been together again for over 7 months, yes marriage isnt always rosey, but i am lucky to have her, just as she is to have me, we compliment each other
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i am in a similar situation, and i do not know what else do to have him back, i have been dying inside, people actually think i am happy, i am not.
I feel your pain , after trying out the no contact experiment that failed miserably, i had to find other means, i had to reach out to a spiritual adviser, it was brilliant idea which i never thought it was, but it worked wonders for me.
27 years, since she was 16. Thanks to one of Lise's videos I put two and two together and was shocked to learn that my wife has most of the traits. Despite living a healthy lifestyle I have several autoimmune diseases, no family history of them, and have only seen my symptoms reduce through taking antidepressants. It is all connected to coping with her. We have two young kids so I have to carry on, but through knowing how she is likely to react, and why she does so, I can be prepared to deal with her a bit better, rather than convincing myself that I am the problem. I am not. Remember that gents. Cheers Lise! ❤
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Alwayd Always Always spot on! Your videos are absokutely the best online. Biref, concise, to the point and significant, to make the common people indenfy exaclty and in few steps what they are dealing with. 2 years ago you saved my life. Thank you Doctor.
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Absolutely one hundred percent on with my ex. Nothing was ever her fault, none of our problems were hers. The only thing that mattered was the 1 thing I did wrong out of 99 others that I did right. Yet, I stuck with it for wayyy tooo long! SO glad to be out of that 20 year, mostly, unhappy marriage. Better late than never! Thank you for validating!
Merry Christmas, Lisa. These behavior patterns are also common during the holidays. I know someone who consistently displays cold and dismissive behavior towards others throughout the year. Then, when the holiday season arrives, she complains about feeling isolated and unsupported. She has recently self-diagnosed herself with "Seasonal Affective Disorder." Personally, I think she's a narcissist because she is unwilling to look at how she acts towards people.
My ex is a 100% match of all the points that you mentioned here. I being an empath, feel like a fool now, after she left me exploited. She always did drama, yelled at me and never realised the scene she was making. I kept begging her to stop, but, she won't give a damn, if I'm working or driving, or if it is a public place or we are next to the neighbours...she also, used physical force on me multiple times after having promised that she won't repeat it. If she has decided to scream and fight, no amount of apology could stop her. Now, she has discarded me, after an year. Recently, after I revealed her behaviour to her parents. Her mom was a next level narcissist. She got furious and terminated our relationship Coz she couldn't digest the fact that her daughter's behaviour was abnormal. Instead of supporting the right, they supported their daughter and blamed me for not being able to handle the situation. She had no morals, what an absolute disgrace. May God do the justice. 🤲🙏
oh my god, these patterns matched. I needed emotional support from my wife she blamed me instead with the conflict i had with my sibling. I asked her to call Customer service to fix internet because i cannot work without internet but she declined because she's got a cough and it appears to be inconvenient to her to do so. now i am even more convinced my wife is indeed a covert narcissist 😱😮💨🤕
My ex a covert narcissist cheated on me with a covert narcissist. Lol. Each one thought they were dealing with an empath. What a circus. She baby trapped him, he refused to marry her , she was in it for his money, he’s a cheap as the day is long. He cheated on her, she withheld intimacy. There is justice after all
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You hit point! They will delegate you to do something that involves major resources. Major! They make it seem so easy as they stand there with their clipboards. But no matter if it's personal professional whatever thank you Miss LeBlanc for making this clear. And yes I hope I said your name right because I don't know how to navigate back to double-check
Mine got married today and sent me pics,by "accident" she filed a stalking order on me for no contact but now dropped it and wants contact lol..this guy is doomed
When i say to her. What you say hurted me, she flip it 180° You have also said hurtful thing to me. You are no saint. When i point out her negative Sarcasm towards me, she say but it wasn't towards you, you are to sensitive. When i explain to her, how her behaviour affects me, the more words i use and point out her behaviour. She says stop always be so defensive. If i countinue to point it out, because she has piss me off. She begins playing the victim, and how im bullying her, and she says "im such a bad person, and you are the saint. No matter how many times I told her, that im no saint, and I do and say many stupid things, she just discard it. Then she guilt trip me. Are you happy now, your won and got your revenge. No friends or no exes has ever said things like that, and im not a vengeful person. I don't know if she is a narcissist, but some of the behaviour is odd and draining
Whatever label this might be, who cares, do you feel loved cherished appreciated wanted desired respected considered relaxed happy joyful in this relationship? Of course not 24/7 all day every day, but like at least a ratio of 5:1? No matter what anyone tells you (perhaps including yourself?) you can do better than this unhealthy relationship dynamic.
@evadebruijn You are right. The label means nothing. No I don't feel any of this. There is very little reciprocation, like 90/10. When I mentioned it to her. She says, you see our relationship as a business deal, I never seen it like that, only a little reciprocation. I'm criticized if I talk too much, if I don't answer the way she wants. She is good putting a wall up in front of me, like she emotionally completely keeps me out. When I mentioned it to her, she said then tear the wall down. I have tried but I can't. Even I still have a lot of love and feelings for her, I have begun to withdraw more and more, and also call her out, every time she gives a sarcastic hints. I still miss the woman she was before. In the beginning, of course she showed lots of love and care even in hindsight she still showed some of the signs, but I choosed to ignore that. I have been in relationships before, and I know it can't be joyful 24/7. It's give and take
I'm coming to understand empathy as the ability to understand how someone else feels and sympathy as identifying with someone else's pain in a way that the person feels it themselves. With those definitions, many narcs have a lot of empathy. It can be their greatest weapon. It helps them push every single button you have.
@@timmywitty1432 yeah I think it is the other way around: empathic: feeling into someones emotional experience Sympathetic: understanding intellectually the psychology behind someones behavior/words/choices/preferences. To me empathy and compassion go hand in hand. Sympathy can result in faked empathy where there is no compassion present. Just fodder for the manipulation toolbox. See Robert Greene laws of power. No one is immune to it though, zero narcissism and you would not bother getting out of bed. The will to succeed simply cannot exist without a healthy amount of ego.
@@timmywitty1432 I know that is the classical way it is defined. My point is narcs can frequently tell exactly how you feel and they use it against you. What other word describes the ability to know how someone else feels?
This is so spot on. I was married to this woman in 1978. Married is a stretch of the imagination. Nothing but drama. Back then mist people had mo idea what they were getting into. Or we were in unhealthy family relationships to begin with.
I used to think my wife just had a wicked sense of humor. It never occurred to me how much she meant every single thing she said to and about people. She presents as shy and demure, but underneath it all is a demon.
Her inability to regulate her self-esteem… I feel like this one is huge, you mentioned very confident on the outside. IMO they are very insecure on the inside, and I hate it when other people except them for who they are or show unconditional love.
Absolutely true. And still it feels off for true empaths at least it was for me back then. Therefor listen to your body it gives you clues. It is called intuition!!!! Covert narcisists are the worst
It's been a minute since I left my narc partner, but I still have to deal with my narcissistic mother, lol; you are describing her to a T, it's uncanny; TY, I needed that kind if vac at this time of year
Very detailed and helpful video! The way you break down the signs of a covert narcissist really helped me understand better how to identify and deal with them. What do you think about sign number 1 - lack of self-awareness? Have you ever encountered someone like this?
This is more familiar than I'd like to admit. While not 100% on the mark, it's more than 50%. It's really hard coming to terms with just how difficult and awful it was with my wife. The last few years were a "negative peace" most of the time, meaning peaceful moments were just space between the arguments. It was awful.
I see a trend in videos about narcissism talking about "covert narcissists", and I also see narcissists claiming their victims are in fact covert narcissists who play the victim... This is quite dangerous. Real empaths who tend to be narc magnets do have good reasons to voice their feeling unlucky in life when it's true, and they are right seeking support, too. Sadly, being sad and unlucky nowadays is more than ever considered "toxic", and the same people who ruin others' lives will now get away with being the first ones using this as an excuse to let down people at their most vulnerable ! It's thus important to remember that no matter how effective their faking misery may be, the narcissist is the one with the obvious upper hand both in the relationship and society, not the one with obvious damage in their lives, and their cold and manipulative nature is sure to resurface when they don't pay attention to what they say, something unseen in empaths. But unfortunately, due to ignorance and/or manipulation, truly distressed people will be victimized again, misinterpreting these videos...
It's very hard for many men to overcome their protective instincts, even when they realise they're being manipulated and abused. Even with all the disrespect, you just see this wounded soul and you sympathize with them.
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This describes my GF to a T. She claims she’s an empath but she has no control over her emotions and has been emotionally abuse for months. I’m about ready to leave…
Im just realizing ibwent through this for nine months. She went through narcissistic abuse. We tried to nit rush. We did. She behaved in all the ways you describe it here. I have dissonance because she went through this abuse. She then did the ssne behaviours and left sfter my own disorganized attachment, resentment keading to blowing up...not very mature. I learned a lot about EQ since then. Im also srudyijg to become an RCC. Sad but good information.
I’ve noticed narcs get worse at night. Then the next day when the sun comes out, their charm kicks back in and brush all the things they did under the rug and try to distract you from their mean cruel behavior. Good luck to yall. It can be a rough road w narcs.
Oh yeah..... emotional responsibility is the big one. Life is hard enough for a man being responsible for his own decisions, behaviour, and emotions, without having to be responsible for all of her emotions, decisions, and behaviour too. And the way they weaponise their depression and anxiety and what their counsellors and others supposedly say about us, is quite mean, I think.
I have been their, one moment my gf acting like a small child, next angry adult devil. After founding the subject Narcissistic behavior it all became more clear
Recently, I had a challenging split. The breakup of my five-year relationship a few months ago has been quite difficult. I still harbor a deep affection for my ex-boyfriend, and I can't seem to stop thinking about him. My attempts to win him back have been unsuccessful, and at this point, it seems impossible to be with anybody else. It may seem strange to admit this, but I miss him terribly and can't stop thinking about him.
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They interpret your boundaries as a personal insult to them.
All narcissists do!
Yes! Your mental problems that apparently have to be addressed.
All women treat boundaries as if they're personal insults. Political Leftists behave the same way. The trans community behaves the same way. The reason that all of these different groups behave the same way is because they all follow precisely the same psychology
Stop insulting me with your boundaries
Sounds familiar. :(
My Dad was dying from cancer, and my ex-covert narc wife came over to visit. My Dad was breathing and not aware of what was going on; he was dying. The Covert Narc stood really tall while sitting on a chair and grabbed his hand to pray. She faked the prayer and then tilted her head and talked to him like she was a loving family member and gave fake sympathy. She spoke maybe three times to my Dad in the last 10 years. She was so fake that even my family members said it was really bad. She then asked if she could go to my bedroom to do work on the computer. I said there was no internet up there, so she faked working in another room and left in 5 minutes, her intention was to search my old bedroom. She was only taking photos of my parent's house to build a case against me for a divorce. Narc's are truly evil, the level of what they will go to destroy others, can't be comprehended.
my narc disappeared after a 3yr relationship, and she knew my father was sick. so when my father passed, and i never called her....i couldnt deal with the fakeness. she found out and couldnt understand why i didnt tell her . i felt like telling her i didnt tell the guy that pumps my gas either!
That seems more like a psychopath.
@@TheDude-w5lthere’s a fine line between the 2
@@jolivera8451 The psychopaths are narcissists on a higher level. Very similar only the psycho is more dangerous.
@@TheDude-w5l The psychopaths and narcissists are similar.The psycho is more aggressive and violent.
They pick up on stuff because they are hyper vigilant, but they have inconsistent empathy and show a lack of regard for others.
That is a good point about hypervigilant. They seem to misinterpret words and actions as being an attack against them even if something just “ is” and you’re just relaying information.
Then because you have “hurt” them or criticized them or wounded them, allegedly, then you must be punished for that
It is like some sort of irrational offensiveness over any possible word, tone, or action.
Then you are super cautious with what you say and do, and walk on eggshells just to keep the peace. You may apologize for what you think you did wrong, but it may just be fake and all designed to get you worked up or emotional so then you can be painted as a bad person.
I used to think my ex was empathetic because of how much she liked and appreciated and cared about dogs…. But she ONLY liked the dogs that immediately were only showed constant love and affection for her. Over the years we had multiple dogs, and she would want to discard the ones that formed the bond with me.
I once dated a woman who got jealous of her own dog because it liked playing with me and I was giving it attention back because I like dogs too. I thought it would be a good thing if anything, but I guess she didn’t like it as we weren’t focused on her. She said something about how she believed men are not supposed to give affection to animals and children. That that was a women’s role and men are supposed to give affection only to women. It was a weird thing to say and seemed completely against the “empathetic/loving/kind” persona she presented up to that point. I realize now that the dog was just a source of supply to her and that’s what she was looking for in me.
My ex wanted to hook me by dog that i didnt want but I accepted it as her part od therapy. Then she was jealous when the dog took me as alpha in pack😅 wierd human beings are those people.
What a piece of crap
JESUS CHRISTS WHAT THE HELL? Mind F@@ker that's there Head Game? Way way up central field? Its call ,(MEAN WHILE BACK AT THE RANCH 😂😅😅?
Damn… just made me realize another thing she did to me 😢and my dogs.
An every kitten that started as a house cat until they didn’t like her and then were booted outside never to be aloud in again.
I feel like you're speaking directly to me about my ex girlfriend. She was exactly like this. If you see any red flag, run far away.
For how long had you been with her and how did you manage to leave her ?
@oakhauser 4 years together and I always thought we could fix it. I finally realized it was never going to go back to the way it was in the beginning when it was amazing. I figured out she just didn't care at all about me. I know now there is no fixing it with a narcissist.
This is another timely video, thank you. In the past, when we went to Counseling, my ex-wife told me she had worked on all her childhood issues and she was fine now. All problems were because of me, my family, etc…
However, she said I “was the problem” and she said that she just ‘wanted me to get the help that I needed’ whatever that meant I was also told that I didn’t have any empathy or compassion, that I was prideful, selfish, and ‘emotionally abusing’ her. She even told me that I was a narcissist from time to time.
What I have since realized is what she calls “lack of empathy” is my anger, frustration, and annoyance of being mistreated by her and having my needs for love, respect , and care be ignored, downplayed, or criticized with things like shame, guilt, and emasculation
But I think of the ways I was talked to, and I started writing things down and talking to others, I realize that’s not how I talk to others. I don’t cut them down, shame them, belittle them, or guilt them like she does.
There was also this spirit of ‘needing to be right at all costs.’ To dominate and control situations, and punish you if you contradicted her or made her look bad in any way.
In actuality, I believe I am an empathetic person, but I was just getting beat down by all the toxic treatments. With time and distance, I’m learning and growing and healing and taking extra steps to watch out for people who act in these ways.
I also wonder if Counseling was ever a good idea, because one of the last ones was more “woke“ and he seemed to believe everything she said, and leaned on me as the problem, that I just needed to listen more, pump her up, say nice things, etc.
She was able to direct the counseling interactions and due to reactive abuse or emotional baiting, She knew how to poke at me to get a response and then she could tell him “see, he’s the problem” he’s mistreating me, etc..
Totally resonate with things you have said. Keep strong!!
Yes it’s all a game for them, regardless of the death off us by a thousand cuts 👍
If I hadn't been married for 26 years I might say that I married your ex. I'm told all of those same things on a least weekly and sometimes daily basis.
Well done for getting out. It works out in the end, just let yourself heal. They are very poorly individuals.
This is a exactly the last 5 years of marriage. I already have been excommunicated to living in the basement and my toothbrush has lived on the kitchen counter. She served me with divorce papers 3 months ago. Then she accused me of child abuse during the holidays to get me out of the house. I knew she had mental problems but I have lost all my empathy for her. I have escaped with my life after all of the emotional abuse. I am turning red pill towards women and relationships. I make a lot of dough and realize it is all a game to get my assets. Never again!
"The Truth is Offensive to them" is them in a nutshell 🥜
Because all narcissistic individuals regardless of gender are triggered by shame and lack the capacity for self reflection long enough to learn from it. Shame dismantled their ego so the defense mechanisms kick in D.A.R.V.O and let the games begin.
Yes, 🙌 they hate the truth, especially when that truth is about them!
But let's be honest: That's all women, not only narcissistic women
i was fooled many times and opened myself up to hurt numerous of times these people have no connection nor do they care about anyone not even their own children
My sister is one of them. She even made a tiktok about narcissistic awareness despite the fact she is one.
Yeah, it’s wild man. My ex gf was actually pretty familiar with the terminology and stuff. So if I called her out for gaslighting, etc, she would throw it right back at me as if I’m doing it. Became really confusing, these relationships can become really blurred when you’re in it because now they’re educated. But they use the information to victimize themselves whereas a victim of it will learn it genuinely, and maybe even see some things in themselves. I’m sure she’s posting narcissistic stuff about me on social media, not sure I blocked her. But she probably is, said her ex was a narcissist etc but I realized after awhile he was probably a normal dude who started acting abusive due to her crazy making. She literally wanted to be abused so she could play victim
Well that sounds like a complete mindfuq to have to deal with .
It hard having a boyfriend or girlfriend who is on here psycho analyzing you and labeling you. They use every term …. narcissist, gaslighting stone Wally, you name it. Maybe they really do believe you are a narcissist from what they learn on here or maybe they’re the narcissist.
In my experience, all female covert narcs genuinly believe they are empaths and present themselves es such
D.A.R.V.O. again, plus she gets dopamine rewards and monetary rewards for projecting her issues outward. 😂sad but funny our society rewards it and we all wonder why there's so many narcissistic people out there.
Thank you again Lise for standing up fir us guys 😎. your episodes have helped me through some of my darkest hours … you youngsters… listen to this Lady . she knows her stuff 👍🏼
Great information easy to understand
Totally agree! 👍
She's good at going deep but keeping her word choice simple.
Thank you so much for the positive feedback!
Alli can say is female covert narcissist is pure evil....never in my life did I imagine I would be involved with one...i feel like she destroyed my life. 7 months no contact. I don't miss the gaslighting one bit...I'd rather be sad, lonely and depressed than going thru the hell I went thru. Lise u are 1000000% spot on. Merry Xmas
They use sex, sex and more sex…in the beginning. It’s all an act that we fall for and then it doesn’t last
going through the same thing here...took a coworker to tell me what is happening to me. Moving out March 1st. its hell for sure...good riddance! Happy Holidays and congrats for moving on!
Same here... I never knew about narcissism until end of may 2024. I thought I was the problem up to my awakening after I isolated myself for clarity. The narcissist is a devil incarnate. I thank God I am free after 32 years of emprisonnement.
If she did change before you left would you hold on to the resentment?
I feel the exact same way, only male covert narc with some BPD thrown. I broke up with him 5 months ago, and he hit the ground running to another woman. I'd love to warn her, but I know I'd be twisted into being the narc just like he did to me about the woman before me!!
My consolation is knowing he will never be truly happy. It's all the same cycle...love bomb, devalue/discard rinse repeat.
Excellent video.The narc has a personality disorder.These creatures are miserable and bitter inside.They are never content or at peace for long.They look for others to keep them
Thank you! I'm so grateful for this channel for helping me understanding that I'm not all those things I'm told.
I like to share something vulnerable early in relationships. If they weaponize them I walk away and if they treat them with respect then they might be a keeper.
you're playing games/posturing, stop
If you smells the other person is faking or have shallow empathy towards you... run...It will never gonna workout...People like these are seeing other people like toys and change toys when they are bored..And they will lie to you until you catch them red handed..But you should use your emotional intelligence and never let these people know or hint to them that you know what they are hiding..Just silently walk away from drama and have every evidence record and maintain your boundaries...Remember never let them know that you know their game.
Or they could just have anxiety, and so you would then go with a high functioning psychopath for friendship or relationships instead.
@@thingsifixedExactly. Anyone giving off-vibes is labeled a narcissist now. Fake behavior, masking, dismissiveness can be signs of anxiety, autism, covering up insecurity, etc.
@@johnny4062 No need to get defensive lol. Maybe you felt called out. People who have anxiety are not automatically shallow when it comes to things like empathy. Actually most are usually even more empathetic and considerate. And newsflash, all narcissists are very insecure.
@@nostalgicbliss5547 I was just replying to the other commenter because I agreed with him. Narcissism and NPD are trendy right now in pop psychology and so every unhealthy behavior gets labelled as narcissism nowadays.
Here's an example. I was just expressing my honest opinion and you called me defensive. Newsflash, calling people "defensive" in that context is a textbook move by narcissists to "gaslight" their victims into questioning their reality ;)
@@johnny4062 I just don't buy that anxiety and autism leads to all those behaviors. I have dealt with some social anxiety and it didn't make me less empathetic or become dismissive. A lot of these narcissistic traits are seen even in childhood, most people do not really change.
These videos are so great and so spot on. It is very conforting to finally understand the chaos people live with for years.
My co-student Viktoria is one - permanent victim, complete lack of ownership of bad behaviour, low empathy, transactional, emotional disregulation, needs supply.
Glad I’m not a narcissist, I’m perfect in every way 😎
🤣🥰❤️😅
Lol yeah red flag 🚩
Thank you for this video. 6years ago, I dated a woman who seems to the criteria you've included in this video. I was fortunate enough to escape very early in the relationship ( a combination of her cheating and instinct on my part) but because of gaslighting I wrestled with guilt for years afterward. Again thank you.
Thanks!
"Emotional punching bag" -- spot on! That was exactly the phrase that I used to describe myself regarding her behaviour towards me, and that behaviour kicked in very early in the relationship. She used to say, "When you love someone, you'll do anything for them", yet she wasn't there for me when I needed her the most. I still don't fully understand the difference between an empath and a covert narc, though; I'm puzzled regarding how their shadow sides work -- would love it if you could do a video explaining the difference between them, Lise. Thank you so much for your content; it is truly appreciated. ❤Merry Christmas to you -- and to everyone else!
Empathetic people are capable of comforting someone who's in distress because they can feel someone else's pain. A narcissist only projects their own pain onto others and can't feel nor handle theirs or yours. (Oh, and Merry Christmas to you! 💜)
@@misspeach3755 Thanks, Miss Peach! Their shadow sides still puzzle me, though. 💚
@PsychedToknow-qw7cbexplain please.
Thank you, Lise. It's both unsettling and reassuring (!) to hear these patterns articulated so accurately. Your list is word for word exactly what I've been living with for over twenty years of marriage,. It was only over the past year when I finally learned boundaries that I realized the extent of her performative empathy, the illusion of emotional intelligence , and her ease with gaslighting. Even our therapist recognized it as abusive.
She initiated the divorce process this year, because I wasn't good enough, yet is dragging it out while taking every opportunity to let me know how my "emotional problems" (aka my boundaries) made me a bad partner then and make me a bad parent now. It hurts, but I try not to give her the reactions she's trying to provoke. Your video is a helpful reminder to see these behaviors for what they are and more importantly, not to buy into her efforts to create self-doubt. I'm set to lose quite a lot of money, but it's the price of freedom and space to be the dad my kids need.
Thank you again. Your work makes a difference and is appreciated.
I'm a female covert narcissist and I'm watching this to change myself.
What made you realize and accept this diagnosis ?
@@itsthelittlethings100 About 2 years ago. I always thought I was the victim but turns out I'm not. I lied to myself.
@@SofiaYasmin Journaling, sitting in silence, watching videos about NPD, reflecting on how others treat me, or tell me how I treated them earlier.
I just became more aware of my words and actions and how they can affect others.
@@_orange_coffee_ I commend you for admitting and accepting this, you are a rare one..
❤❤❤❤
I’m so glad you are addressing this topic!! Male covert narcissist also mimic emotional intelligence, but from my experience can be seen thru easier.
You are a gem Lise. I'm going through this literally right now. Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas Mrs Leblanc!
I would like to thank you for introducing me to this topic a few years back. It literally saved my life!
Took me long to figure thst out from her.
In fact, i figure it out after the breakup.
Explains a lot.
You're now figured out, and you're on a special list, made especially for you!
Another good one. I don't understand how you consistently get to the details that are spot on. Must be many years of sitting in sessions listening to, and helping others. I am grateful.
Not any more, I have given enough of my life and energies to someone who has drained me. And now I need to work on me building me back to where I should be, could be in life.
Thanks for your time! As hyped as i am about getting more good content out! Don’t forget to like the video🤍🤍sᴇɴᴅ🤍🤍ᴍᴇ🤍🤍ᴀ🤍🤍ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ🤍🤍ᴛᴇxᴛ🤍±𝟷𝟸𝟶𝟽𝟽𝟷𝟿𝟺𝟼𝟼𝟼
My covert narc ex is a psychotherapist… can you imagine? Completely destroyed my self worth.
There is so many narcissism in the mental health industry it's not funny. Patients are such easy targets to get supply from. Instant boost to their false self in constant need of propping up.
Many of them are nurses and social workers. Healthcare is full of them.
Yes I can, because it seems that psychopaths and narcissists pretty of study psychology.
@@lukepatch5160 Healthcare and first responder fields attract toxic individuals like that. Anything that gives power over others or expose them to weaker people gets them off.
My ex used to tell me that I sucked at empathy and she had super human levels of empathy.
No one before or since had ever told me that.
She couldn't hold a job, got drunk and blamed everything on "migraines" for why nothing ever went right in her life, not to mention the explosive anger. Then came the alcoholism. I didn't dodge a bullet, I dodged an ICBM
@@bk138gt6 if you treated her better she wouldn't need to be like that
Every young man in the world needs to watch this video!
I am so glad I found these. It's like you are describing my marriage and hellish divorce. I always knew deep down I needed to run away and escape. It all makes so much sense now, hearing everything you say. Thank you so much
Nowadays the moral values have been lost and put to ridicule.the motto is to be individualistic snd selfish. There are RUclips videos teaching to become a shitty person to others as the only way yo get to a successful life😢.
Hood people are often ridiculed and bullied by families, relatives, friends and coworkers.
Merry Christmas! Protect yourself and your children from these types! Stay safe 🙏🏻
Thank you much, amazing content!
Thank you for the positive feedback!
Any woman who has told me she’s an empath, was lying.
There's no such a thing as an "empath", empathy is no superpower and excess of empathy is overwhelming and disabling instead of "oh i can understand ALL about you teehee".
My ex said "people say I'm empathetic". Really? Showed zero empathy with me when you broke it off. Cried and was just stared at, was told "I don't care about you or what happens in your life", "go fucking kill yourself". So yeah...empathetic. Maybe to others and maybe in the beginning, but certainly not to me now
⬆️ This. I might add that there's no such thing as an empath. There's only people without emotional boundaries.
@@SurnaturalM what do you call it when someone shares a story of betrayal and you feel anger because you can feel into the experience, or you see a person fall and you feel it in your body, ir m
First cue to run as fast as possible
Thank you for this video, Lise! My nex portrayed herself as an empath, but not until 3 years into the relationship and especially at the end at 3.5 years.
Thank you very much. This really helps me see more clearly through all the chaos and is really helping me to walk away. 🙏
@Lise you have no idea how your videos quote, almost to exact words, my wife. It is videos like this that have helped enable me to not care about her antics, focus on what matters- and carry forward, finding happiness where possible. Thank you for your videos!
God will surely finish what he stated in your life, for everything works together for good, if you love the podcast, to know more about this podcast🤍🤍sᴇɴᴅ🤍🤍ᴍᴇ🤍🤍ᴀ🤍🤍ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ🤍🤍ᴛᴇxᴛ🤍±𝟷𝟸𝟶𝟽𝟽𝟷𝟿𝟺𝟼𝟼𝟼
Absolutely love your videos.
Its amazing how spot on this is. My ex wife ticks every one of these boxes, i would love to show this to her and i guarantee she would deny all of it.
for everything works together for good, if you love the podcast, to know more about this podcast🤍🤍sᴇɴᴅ🤍🤍ᴍᴇ🤍🤍ᴀ🤍🤍ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ🤍🤍ᴛᴇxᴛ🤍±𝟷𝟸𝟶𝟽𝟽𝟷𝟿𝟺𝟼𝟼𝟼
Spot on with all of these. 50/50 to a covert narc means 95/5.
if you got her to 95% consider yourself a genius
EVERY single word of this video feels spot on 😮
Good will surely finish what he stated in your life, for everything works together for good, if you love the podcast, to know more about this podcast🤍🤍sᴇɴᴅ🤍🤍ᴍᴇ🤍🤍ᴀ🤍🤍ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ🤍🤍ᴛᴇxᴛ🤍±𝟷𝟸𝟶𝟽𝟽𝟷𝟿𝟺𝟼𝟼𝟼🔝
Excellent épisode !! Thanks for sharing with us !
Merry Christmas Lise! Your content uas been one of the greatest gifts ive received this year!
Yes to all of this. This was my life for a decade. I call myself happily divorced, but I’m finding that the happy part is just relief from the trap I was in. Now that I’m ten years out and looking to maybe enjoy the company of others , Some find my communication and carefulness to be exhausting. Nice work as usual!
God will surely finish what he stated in your life, for everything works together for good, if you love the podcast, to know more about this podcast🤍🤍sᴇɴᴅ🤍🤍ᴍᴇ🤍🤍ᴀ🤍🤍ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ🤍🤍ᴛᴇxᴛ🤍±𝟷𝟸𝟶𝟽𝟽𝟷𝟿𝟺𝟼𝟼𝟼
God will surely finish what he stated in your life, for everything works together for good, if you love the podcast, to know more about this podcast🤍🤍sᴇɴᴅ🤍🤍ᴍᴇ🤍🤍ᴀ🤍🤍ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ🤍🤍ᴛᴇxᴛ🤍±𝟷𝟸𝟶𝟽𝟽𝟷𝟿𝟺𝟼𝟼𝟼
I have actually subscribed. I went to therapy, another therapy, meanwhile aupported myself with proper RUclips videos.
I learnt a lot. Thank you for your good work, Leblanc.
All I understand now, when I watch this video is: I have a value.
Thanks for your time! As hyped as i am about getting more good content out! Don’t forget to like the video🤍🤍sᴇɴᴅ🤍🤍ᴍᴇ🤍🤍ᴀ🤍🤍ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ🤍🤍ᴛᴇxᴛ🤍±𝟷𝟸𝟶𝟽𝟽𝟷𝟿𝟺𝟼𝟼𝟼
Thank you, Lisa 👍
Way to go Lise - you just blew my fake empath cover!
Thanks for your time! As hyped as i am about getting more good content out! Don’t forget to like the video🤍🤍sᴇɴᴅ🤍🤍ᴍᴇ🤍🤍ᴀ🤍🤍ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ🤍🤍ᴛᴇxᴛ🤍±𝟷𝟸𝟶𝟽𝟽𝟷𝟿𝟺𝟼𝟼𝟼🇺🇲
This is so painful to watch, because it is a further proof of what I suspected. But still, thank you for this video
This is the the video I e been waiting for!
My mom started learning about narcissistic abuse and talked about it constantly…saying this person was giving her the silent treatment and that person was gaslighting. Suddenly telling me that her father was a narcissist. She was constantly in victim mode and wanting sympathy. When she thought I was feeling sympathetic she tried to engage me in one of her emotional rages. I put her ass out and suddenly she was so sorry. I slept like a baby because that was the the first she didn’t leave me in tears. I drove her 1 and a half hours back to her house…she probably thought we would be stuck doing this over and over until after the holiday. Nope…I actually wanted to enjoy my Christmas.
Exciting video. A year ago i took the no contact route, well i wouldnt say it didnt go well, but i missed her and sometimes you have to leave your comfort zone and go for what you want, Without knowing and having a huge ego, we might actually miss out on our soul mate all in the name of not settling for less, I know who i am, and at the same time i know what i want for me, so i did all i could to get her back, and I must say, it was the best decision i have ever made, we have been together again for over 7 months, yes marriage isnt always rosey, but i am lucky to have her, just as she is to have me, we compliment each other
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i am in a similar situation, and i do not know what else do to have him back, i have been dying inside, people actually think i am happy, i am not.
I feel your pain , after trying out the no contact experiment that failed miserably, i had to find other means, i had to reach out to a spiritual adviser, it was brilliant idea which i never thought it was, but it worked wonders for me.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him/ her?
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
You just described my X. Thanks for the reminder.
Thanks for your time! As hyped as i am about getting more good content out! Don’t forget to like the video🤍🤍sᴇɴᴅ🤍🤍ᴍᴇ🤍🤍ᴀ🤍🤍ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ🤍🤍ᴛᴇxᴛ🤍±𝟷𝟸𝟶𝟽𝟽𝟷𝟿𝟺𝟼𝟼𝟼🇺🇲
27 years, since she was 16. Thanks to one of Lise's videos I put two and two together and was shocked to learn that my wife has most of the traits.
Despite living a healthy lifestyle I have several autoimmune diseases, no family history of them, and have only seen my symptoms reduce through taking antidepressants.
It is all connected to coping with her.
We have two young kids so I have to carry on, but through knowing how she is likely to react, and why she does so, I can be prepared to deal with her a bit better, rather than convincing myself that I am the problem. I am not. Remember that gents. Cheers Lise! ❤
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Alwayd Always Always spot on! Your videos are absokutely the best online. Biref, concise, to the point and significant, to make the common people indenfy exaclty and in few steps what they are dealing with.
2 years ago you saved my life.
Thank you Doctor.
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Absolutely one hundred percent on with my ex. Nothing was ever her fault, none of our problems were hers. The only thing that mattered was the 1 thing I did wrong out of 99 others that I did right. Yet, I stuck with it for wayyy tooo long! SO glad to be out of that 20 year, mostly, unhappy marriage. Better late than never! Thank you for validating!
Perfect..exterior locus of control needed for these 2 ppl to "need". One another..and need is not in the equation of healthy adult liking or love
Narcs: destroyers of all that is good; especially, good people as good people shame them.
emotional intelligence needs self reflection ✌️🙏
Merry Christmas, Lisa. These behavior patterns are also common during the holidays. I know someone who consistently displays cold and dismissive behavior towards others throughout the year. Then, when the holiday season arrives, she complains about feeling isolated and unsupported. She has recently self-diagnosed herself with "Seasonal Affective Disorder." Personally, I think she's a narcissist because she is unwilling to look at how she acts towards people.
Mine was always talking about great she is at self reflecting. Talk about lack of awareness!
My ex is a 100% match of all the points that you mentioned here. I being an empath, feel like a fool now, after she left me exploited.
She always did drama, yelled at me and never realised the scene she was making. I kept begging her to stop, but, she won't give a damn, if I'm working or driving, or if it is a public place or we are next to the neighbours...she also, used physical force on me multiple times after having promised that she won't repeat it. If she has decided to scream and fight, no amount of apology could stop her.
Now, she has discarded me, after an year. Recently, after I revealed her behaviour to her parents. Her mom was a next level narcissist. She got furious and terminated our relationship Coz she couldn't digest the fact that her daughter's behaviour was abnormal. Instead of supporting the right, they supported their daughter and blamed me for not being able to handle the situation.
She had no morals, what an absolute disgrace.
May God do the justice. 🤲🙏
oh my god, these patterns matched. I needed emotional support from my wife she blamed me instead with the conflict i had with my sibling. I asked her to call Customer service to fix internet because i cannot work without internet but she declined because she's got a cough and it appears to be inconvenient to her to do so. now i am even more convinced my wife is indeed a covert narcissist 😱😮💨🤕
@@jeeve_theDigitalNomad only purification by fire will show the truth!
Spot on Lise
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My ex a covert narcissist cheated on me with a covert narcissist. Lol. Each one thought they were dealing with an empath. What a circus. She baby trapped him, he refused to marry her , she was in it for his money, he’s a cheap as the day is long. He cheated on her, she withheld intimacy. There is justice after all
Oh my god! Your words is my life!😭😭😭
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You hit point! They will delegate you to do something that involves major resources. Major! They make it seem so easy as they stand there with their clipboards. But no matter if it's personal professional whatever thank you Miss LeBlanc for making this clear. And yes I hope I said your name right because I don't know how to navigate back to double-check
Thank you for your help
Mine got married today and sent me pics,by "accident" she filed a stalking order on me for no contact but now dropped it and wants contact lol..this guy is doomed
Pretty much, yeah.
When i say to her. What you say hurted me, she flip it 180°
You have also said hurtful thing to me. You are no saint.
When i point out her negative Sarcasm towards me, she say but it wasn't towards you, you are to sensitive.
When i explain to her, how her behaviour affects me, the more words i use and point out her behaviour.
She says stop always be so defensive. If i countinue to point it out, because she has piss me off. She begins playing the victim, and how im bullying her, and she says "im such a bad person, and you are the saint. No matter how many times I told her, that im no saint, and I do and say many stupid things, she just discard it.
Then she guilt trip me. Are you happy now, your won and got your revenge.
No friends or no exes has ever said things like that, and im not a vengeful person. I don't know if she is a narcissist, but some of the behaviour is odd and draining
Sounds very narcissistic, run!
Whatever label this might be, who cares, do you feel loved cherished appreciated wanted desired respected considered relaxed happy joyful in this relationship? Of course not 24/7 all day every day, but like at least a ratio of 5:1?
No matter what anyone tells you (perhaps including yourself?) you can do better than this unhealthy relationship dynamic.
@evadebruijn
You are right. The label means nothing. No I don't feel any of this.
There is very little reciprocation, like 90/10. When I mentioned it to her. She says, you see our relationship as a business deal, I never seen it like that, only a little reciprocation.
I'm criticized if I talk too much, if I don't answer the way she wants.
She is good putting a wall up in front of me, like she emotionally completely keeps me out. When I mentioned it to her, she said then tear the wall down. I have tried but I can't. Even I still have a lot of love and feelings for her, I have begun to withdraw more and more, and also call her out, every time she gives a sarcastic hints. I still miss the woman she was before.
In the beginning, of course she showed lots of love and care even in hindsight she still showed some of the signs, but I choosed to ignore that.
I have been in relationships before, and I know it can't be joyful 24/7. It's give and take
@timmywitty1432 correct that's also why I begin doubting
I'm coming to understand empathy as the ability to understand how someone else feels and sympathy as identifying with someone else's pain in a way that the person feels it themselves. With those definitions, many narcs have a lot of empathy. It can be their greatest weapon. It helps them push every single button you have.
Your definition of sympathy is actually empathy.
@@timmywitty1432 yeah I think it is the other way around: empathic: feeling into someones emotional experience
Sympathetic: understanding intellectually the psychology behind someones behavior/words/choices/preferences.
To me empathy and compassion go hand in hand.
Sympathy can result in faked empathy where there is no compassion present. Just fodder for the manipulation toolbox. See Robert Greene laws of power.
No one is immune to it though, zero narcissism and you would not bother getting out of bed. The will to succeed simply cannot exist without a healthy amount of ego.
@@timmywitty1432 I know that is the classical way it is defined. My point is narcs can frequently tell exactly how you feel and they use it against you. What other word describes the ability to know how someone else feels?
@@SomeGuy-xf9bc it’s called cognitive or cold empathy.
This is so spot on. I was married to this woman in 1978. Married is a stretch of the imagination. Nothing but drama. Back then mist people had mo idea what they were getting into. Or we were in unhealthy family relationships to begin with.
I used to think my wife just had a wicked sense of humor. It never occurred to me how much she meant every single thing she said to and about people. She presents as shy and demure, but underneath it all is a demon.
Serious question, why are you not divorced?
@@evadebruijn In process.
You literally described my ex girlfriend perfectly. She was the self proclaimed “empath”.
Her inability to regulate her self-esteem… I feel like this one is huge, you mentioned very confident on the outside. IMO they are very insecure on the inside, and I hate it when other people except them for who they are or show unconditional love.
Absolutely true. And still it feels off for true empaths at least it was for me back then. Therefor listen to your body it gives you clues. It is called intuition!!!! Covert narcisists are the worst
Feeling “off” was the only clue I had, covert malignant narcissists are on another level of evil …
It's been a minute since I left my narc partner, but I still have to deal with my narcissistic mother, lol; you are describing her to a T, it's uncanny; TY, I needed that kind if vac at this time of year
Very detailed and helpful video! The way you break down the signs of a covert narcissist really helped me understand better how to identify and deal with them.
What do you think about sign number 1 - lack of self-awareness? Have you ever encountered someone like this?
This is more familiar than I'd like to admit. While not 100% on the mark, it's more than 50%. It's really hard coming to terms with just how difficult and awful it was with my wife. The last few years were a "negative peace" most of the time, meaning peaceful moments were just space between the arguments. It was awful.
Nailed it.
I see a trend in videos about narcissism talking about "covert narcissists", and I also see narcissists claiming their victims are in fact covert narcissists who play the victim... This is quite dangerous. Real empaths who tend to be narc magnets do have good reasons to voice their feeling unlucky in life when it's true, and they are right seeking support, too. Sadly, being sad and unlucky nowadays is more than ever considered "toxic", and the same people who ruin others' lives will now get away with being the first ones using this as an excuse to let down people at their most vulnerable ! It's thus important to remember that no matter how effective their faking misery may be, the narcissist is the one with the obvious upper hand both in the relationship and society, not the one with obvious damage in their lives, and their cold and manipulative nature is sure to resurface when they don't pay attention to what they say, something unseen in empaths. But unfortunately, due to ignorance and/or manipulation, truly distressed people will be victimized again, misinterpreting these videos...
Thank you.
It's very hard for many men to overcome their protective instincts, even when they realise they're being manipulated and abused. Even with all the disrespect, you just see this wounded soul and you sympathize with them.
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This describes my GF to a T. She claims she’s an empath but she has no control over her emotions and has been emotionally abuse for months. I’m about ready to leave…
Im just realizing ibwent through this for nine months. She went through narcissistic abuse. We tried to nit rush. We did. She behaved in all the ways you describe it here. I have dissonance because she went through this abuse. She then did the ssne behaviours and left sfter my own disorganized attachment, resentment keading to blowing up...not very mature. I learned a lot about EQ since then. Im also srudyijg to become an RCC. Sad but good information.
When you meet a real gaslighter, you can't help but have a twisted awe for how good they are at manipulation.
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Excellent excellent excellent.
They will hook u with anything they can to bond and blame you for everything they can
I’ve noticed narcs get worse at night. Then the next day when the sun comes out, their charm kicks back in and brush all the things they did under the rug and try to distract you from their mean cruel behavior. Good luck to yall. It can be a rough road w narcs.
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Good Video
Glad you enjoyed
Here is the Narcissist right here ^^
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Oh yeah..... emotional responsibility is the big one. Life is hard enough for a man being responsible for his own decisions, behaviour, and emotions, without having to be responsible for all of her emotions, decisions, and behaviour too. And the way they weaponise their depression and anxiety and what their counsellors and others supposedly say about us, is quite mean, I think.
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4. definitely 4.
I have been their, one moment my gf acting like a small child, next angry adult devil. After founding the subject Narcissistic behavior it all became more clear
Recently, I had a challenging split. The breakup of my five-year relationship a few months ago has been quite difficult. I still harbor a deep affection for my ex-boyfriend, and I can't seem to stop thinking about him. My attempts to win him back have been unsuccessful, and at this point, it seems impossible to be with anybody else. It may seem strange to admit this, but I miss him terribly and can't stop thinking about him.
How did you find your spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with them?
Thank you for sharing this valuable insight. I just looked father obah eze up, and I'm genuinely impressed.
The bots are gettin out of hand, Jesus.
@@jeanvaljean4218shame to them, they will scam innocent people
Fing BOTS GO TO HELL.
8:08 So true for years!!!
How did you meet my ex? It's funny how accurate this is