Sean Shares a Story of How He Almost ENDED HIS LIFE
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- Опубликовано: 10 июл 2023
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Sean is awesome, I'm glad he's still here to share his story and spread his positive vibes
LOUDERRR ❤
"Stop being so mean to yourself." Such simple words yet so impactful. We're so kind to others that sometimes we forget to be kind to ourselves. Here's everyone's daily reminder to be kind to yourself and be your own #1 supporter.
This is one of the best explanations of how depression feels I've ever seen, undercut by a clickbaity title.
The way he explained the thing of "you're making a promise to yourself" is so smart
My respect for Sean really went up a lot by hearing his stories
In all seriousness, what Sean mentioned is really true. People who are about to commit suicide might experience a large change in mood. If your friends who have been closed in for a while suddenly became incredibly carefree, extroverted and generous, do keep a close eye on them!! It is a repeated pattern due to lack of attachments that can help you identify friends who are close to committed selfharm sometimes.
Thanks for the warning
My respect went up even more after hearing this. He is such a joy to watch, glad he is still here.
Being around people but feeling alone is absolutely devastating. I get that 100%
I haven’t come this close to crying in four months, which was the second moment in my life I was truly on the verge of suicide. He articulated everything so well… it sounds so similar to the thoughts and actions I’ve made.
The promises to yourself are the worst. I hated myself for no longer being able to keep promises to myself, for having motivation for literally nothing. I was so tired of what he said: being sad all the time without reason, and feeling lonelier around others, so you try to get away from them to stop the hurt.
Also, what he said about crying yet being calm before/during an attempt (the second time I got strangely numb and clear headed before I gathered supplies/went to the location to make the attempt but the first time I did try to end it- my n00se failed). I felt at peace finally doing it, and honestly thinking about ending it was my greatest relief. Ironically, it kept me a little more sane.
Everything he shared felt similar to my experience, down to the note to make people worry less and explain what happened. Only difference is that while we’re both atheists I was not worried at all about burning and suffering for eternity, no matter how much I heard about about how those who kill themselves go to h3ll. I also threw out my notes, and one of the two things that kept me from doing it day after day was hurting my family, sort of like him. Even still, I thought it was not “if” but “when” I would end it, and I fantasized about it constantly.
He tried a year older than me. Mine was during COVID. He’s right, depression does pass, but not entirely. At least not immediately. It’s been three years since I tried, and four years since it all started. I feel better, but not normal, at least not yet. I’ve been trying really hard.
Anyway, I’m sorry if you read this disorganized rant. I was going to delete it once I got this out of my system but seeing how I feel better now after hearing someone else who understands, I’ll leave it up just in case this helps someone else
I was on the verge of attempting in the middle of covid too
the thing that kept me from throwing myself off the 9th story of my apartment was the realisation of just how much hurt and grief that would cause everyone around me
His explanation of what it's like to be depressed is spot on.
He is strong enough to share this with everyone
I had the exact same high school experience as him. Played league for 12 hours a day on the weekends. Got no sleep because I was crying and having panic attacks at 3am. Went to school and felt empty when I was talking with others. I had a plan to end it all when I turned 18 if it didn’t get any better but thankfully it did.
To everyone who is struggling, I’ll tell you what helped me. Just wait one more day. Every day, say “I’ll do it tomorrow” for the rest of your life. Depression has a way of lying to you and if you take the time to challenge those lies, life can get better. If you’re in high school, your whole life can change once you’re done with high school. Just one more day and your situation can change. And your life can get better.
My life now isn’t perfect but I can see now that I cheated death. And I appreciate life and the people around me a lot more. It makes life worth living even if I still don’t always have the energy to brush my teeth. I do my best and that’s enough ❤ thanks for listening and I hope the best for all of you
Thank you for making that comment
I was relatively happy in high school...I feel like I feel depressed now after uni cause I feel like I didnt learn anything and cant even get a job and probably will never get a job that will satisfy me. Kinda also see world go to shit,especially my country...its the first time I dont see the point but I dont really want to end my life myself I guess
I grew up in a pretty shitty situation and when it was the worst, I would wait for the bus in the mornings, next to a highway, and just imagine that I would jump in front of a truck, and it was all over.
I never did it because I always thought "if I die before ever getting out of here, all my life was only suffering. I held on this much for nothing, I fought and in conclusion it led me nowhere."
I still struggle with depression but I'm put of there now and things are indeed much better
I don't think I've had that perspective before. Ty for sharing, and I'm glad you're on a better path ❤
I hope things will get better for you.
I wrote a response to addressing mental health, check the comment section
I love that mindset and I’m glad that you didn’t commit suicide. Whatever it is that you are going through, you are strong. I can’t promise that it’ll ever get better, but I can promise you that you have something powerful in you. ❤
Wow
Slowly loving Sean more and more! I love seeing his humor in other OTV and friends videos! He is so funny, so kind, and a great friend!
Honestly true and relatable. Eventually life becomes repetitive and you feel like there’s nothing more to do so you decide to start over. Sometimes i would get depression mixed with laziness but you can see the difference in the two. Depression and the thoughts of ending it didnt hit till after high school. Took probably 6 years to get over it. What helped me get through it was working out, a lot of motivational words from people, some good times, and a shit ton of alcohol 😂
Sean is so real for this damn. I love and respect Sean and this just gained more of that for him
I can't believe this popped up on my feed. I've been going thru it for a little while. And Seans experience resonated with me. It's nice to be reminded theres people who would truly understand what you're going thru. Seans a real one for sharing his story. I wish more ppl would be open about this so we don't just suffer in silence 🥲
the brushing ur teeth thing is relatable like i just wanna hop in bed straight away lmao
I needed this ❤ I’m not suicidal but I’ve been going through a rough time and this helped put things into perspective
This was me in high school and college. It reached a pinnacle my junior/senior year of college.
Almost a decade later, I still struggle with depression. It never goes away
The way Id explain it is like you're living an in exaggerated experience.
So someone might say: "I'll go take a shower"
but if you're depressed you'd say: "I've gotta get out of bed, walk to the bathroom, turn on the shower, get the soap, shampoo, conditioner, loofa, then I have to get my body wet, apply soap, scrub my body, wash it off. Then i have to scrub my scalp with shampoo. rinse it out, climb back out, dry myself with a towel."
It's like everything has way more steps than normal, so you think 'whats the point, I dont want to do that, it's a lot of effort'.
And this is for everything that you have to do. Getting food, getting a drink, going to the toilet, going to work/school, working on projects, hobbies etc.
It's just a lot of willpower to go through the basic motions that not doing them seem preferable, and then because you cant even do the basic things you beat yourself up and feel worse.
All the joy and happiness is just muted so you never experience it.
At best you reduce the negative interactions so that you have no positive or negative which is where I'm at.
And whilst Im better than I was, I still dont really see the point if the rest of my life is going to be a neutral experience.
But i also came to the conclusion that Im going to die someday, there's no need to rush it and who knows, maybe at some point things will get better and i will be happy or understand why people love life.
You explained how I feel so perfectly. I have bad body odour no matter what I did to try to contain it so getting up, taking showers, using crowded public transport and showing up to work every weekday for 8 hours straight felt like mental torture. I got a new boss who didn't like me and fired me when she could (I don't believe it was due to my condition though) so I am not working at the moment and I'm enjoying staying at my home for the most part but sooner or later I need to get a job to earn income to support myself. I was never pushed to the brink but life just feels like a big blah right now and it's frustrating having to constantly endure the treatment that I get from others because of something I cannot control even though I practice good hygiene and have seen multiple doctors atp. I would definitely describe my state as neutral right now too and I know that's not good enough for anyone so I do hope that something changes for you. I know it's not my fault but I wish others could offer the support that I need.
Only reason I'm here is because of the kindness of a stranger. He saw someone beating on the hood of a car in the middle of the night in downtown. And instead of walking away and telling his friends about the crazy druggie beating the car. He asked me how I was doing. I was going to kms that night.
Hasn't been all great since then. But I'm alive. And ig that's all I can do.
I really needed this today. Thank you, Sean, for your story ❤
i was on the verge of passing out in my garage with the same plan and my brother happened to call me to see if i was leaving to pick up McDonald's cus i would do this fairly often late at night. i told him i was, and he asked if i can grab him something. i owe my life to my brother cus if he didnt call, id be gone. to this day, he doesnt know he kept me from killing myself.
Powerful and sadly very relatable for so many people including myself. I never knew this about Sean and honestly, big respects to him because it took me a while to open up about my experience and have no shame about it and here he is talking about it on stream. Much love to him ❤
My story is different, but i felt it too. I've been struggling with my life a lot from family to relationship. when I was in highschool I broke up with my girlfriend that I thought was the one for the rest of my life you know and i live with my grandma and an uncle that hates me in every way since i was 6. My uncle never let me do anything and always picked up on me and was abusive, everything that I do would never satisfy him even though it's not his thing or it's my life, he never respects or improves my life since i was a kid that was being productive back then. I didn't know anything at that time, idk what's wrong with him. I tried to talk with my grandma about that when i got a little bit older like 15 then the only thing my grandma said is just stay away from him and listen because my grandma was sick at that time so her voice can't do anything in the house anymore. after my breakup i went completely blank I don't even want to complete the highschool i lost my purpose in life, but i managed to complete it without any desire. after that i was preparing to university and things starting getting better as i met many peoples and new school and thing starting getting worse and worse, he starting worse and worse and that's when i stood up for myself and had a big fight with him. he was drunk and he hit me from behind while i was doing my uni project. we had a big fight and i was completely lost that everyone told me that i should sorry him while I'm his nephew and he hit me. I had enough and said fuck it like it's not me pushing him I'm doing my shit. these things i talked with everyone in the family and they fucking completely ignored it and the only thing they said is to talk with him I be like " this is not a talk thing if he capable of having a thinking it won't be this hard" he's a narcissist idk what word can describe him. that when I knew that no one can help you except yourself, i felt hopeless. it's true that everyone has a different story but if you get through it i bet you're stronger then ever. i want to talk about more things but I'll end here.
people that have been through this would realize what is when you look back not when you're having it cause you don't know this is called depression or no, only after that you understand.
the phase that pushed me through is when I found out what I would live for? because i never feel happier than to think about death. what wakes you up after that is important. now i still feel like I'm okay if i die or I would always fight if I or people around me getting injustice or abused.
Sean never fails to make me smile when I see him in content. I am so glad he made it through and is still here. its inspirational for those of us who struggle with these negative thoughts.
You’re not alone.
I just want to say thank you Sean because the words you shared resonated with me in a positive way. I hope anyone that need to hear words like this really listens. 💜
I’m so glad Sean shared his story. I also went through an awful time when I pushed all my friends away. It means more than I thought it would just to hear someone else talk about that.
i appreciate how open he is about this
Bro couldn't have explained it any better. I needed to hear that. I can explain my teenage years so much clearer now.
Have you guys watched a youtube video titled "Sleep is just death being shy"? It's cool. It got kindof similar topic, gives you depression and a sense of hope or comfort in some way. It somehow helped me dealing with what Sean's talking about
I love Sean! If he is streaming, I always tune in because his streams make me happy. Glad you are still here Sean.
Sean is one of my favorite content creators. I love his description of being depressed. It's SOOO much more than just being sad. That stuck feeling is something I relate so heavily, everything becomes a chore (even the most basic, minute thing)
The meme with a skeleton holding a guitar with the text "Today fucking sucks, tomorrow might not. Only one way to find out, be there." gets me through everyday.
I’ve been feeling this type of way for the last year, and I barely watch Sean, but this helps to watch. 😊
i need to hear this, not therapy.
Thanks to Sean for sharing this. I committed sui as well. Sometimes, it's hard to keep struggling for the future
the book i read spoke about exactly this. if there is even a small hindrances, a lot of suicide attempts will not go through and a lot of times there won't be future attempts
I've always liked Sean when he was a guest on the podcast or videos or even in gaming lobbies, but this really makes me feel connected to him
The way he casually drops bombs mid sentence and moves on is so funny ngl
I love a different take on these serious topics, and I can't help but enjoy somebody who speaks so nonchalantly about a suicide attempt. Good on him man.
A friend once told me, "Don't pick a permanent solution to a temporary problem."
I never had a hard time doing things through depression tbh, it was more anhedonia and lack of purpose living in routine. I still did it but it was complete auto pilot. Just adding that potentially different version.
whoever went to the kitchen saved a life ❤
Yeah :) it does make me wonder if Sean has ever told his mom or sister. The fact that he doesn't know who was there makes me think he didn't
Listening to the story of how they survive and grew stronger give me some support in my life.
Sean's actually hilarious, the way he thinks is so great and so funny.
Glad he shared that
still waiting for the day I'll be glad to be exist, Sean's pov made it sound calm
Totally in his shoes at the moment where it feels like nothing matters anymore. Like you feel life is either going down the shitters or you are bored of life and just want to end it all. The happiest people have probably had the most happen to them in their life time. They reflect the best towards other people because they know how shitty it feels when you are in the bottom of a bottomless pit hole and doesn't want anyone else to feel like that. But yeah you feel like no one understands you or it is only happening to you. A lot of reflection happens and you start to write notes fairly morbid ones.
i clicked on this cuz of the clickbait but whoever uploaded this, thanks man, i needed this
There's a lot to discuss about this topic, but I just want to give a short story.
I really hate myself for being weak, hurting myself, not being able to do simple tasks (go to school, brush teeth, etc). That made me scared to do anything which made me hate myself more and It spiraled down for years. but my friend once said "he didn't hate anyone who killed themselves, he's just sad that they do". His words really resonated with me, I start feeling relief about being just okay and I sometimes just cry realizing how much pain I experienced
sean is W ty for the story
I've been struggling with clinical depression for more than 5 years. I still am, and still have not gotten out of my loop. Therapy didn't help, realistically nothing has, and it surely doesn't help that I'm perfectly rational and aware of what i'm going through since it means no advice would really be new. I mean, I can't even fully convince myself and my own body despite knowing theoretically how to be better.
I'm not going to kill myself, I don't want to give in to the things and people that have wronged me. I don't want to give in to the problems I'm facing. I have the right to live.
To anyone struggling too, here's to us one day all getting better 🍻.
Dude this such a Sean reason to not do it.
What a story... a very genuine story that everyone can learn from... amazing...
I thought a lot about this when I was in High School I had 2 friends I was bullied a lot for being out of the norm for where I am from and I didn't because right when I was going to do it my best friend called me and I don't know why but I answered and I just couldn't speak and she told me she was coming over and I told her everything and cried for 2 hours and she stuck by me through it all. I want people who are feeling this way to know that though you may not feel it or see it right now someone really cares about you and looks forward to seeing you or being with you or seeing you grow. Someone will always care about you though you may not see it or feel it someone does! I know that you feel alone but there is always someone that will be willing to listen or comfort you! So please don't do it!
thanks for posting this.
sean finally starting to get the attention he deserves
Stream yesterday was so fkn good… such an underrated streamer
I swear it's always the funniest people who know what it's like to be at an ultimate low in life. It reminds of that Robin Williams quote that goes “I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy. Because they know what it is like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anybody else to feel like that.” It's also crazy that he mentioned that you don't really know why people kill themselves which had a lot of people wonder why Robin Williams did it until they found out in the autopsy report that he had Lewy body dementia.
The chat is not it…
I think the biggest tell for me personally was that it got to a point i wasnt scared of dying and more to a point were ut felt like finally there would be some peace. Not that i was visibly depressed but it just lookd like my life had stalled and got to a point there was no more way to continue if things failed in the next month.
Sometimes its just hard to tell, but 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 look past the taboo of talking. Ive spoking to friends on how i would end it or just give up on my studies and they got too scared to talk about it. Its not that thry are bad friends but there's such a taboo, even more so between male friends.
You wont regret overreacting, you will regret not trying talking about it.
Beautiful story, thanks for the share.
damn this is too relatable. currently 17 and have no motivation for anything
He’s so real for this. Brushing teeth sucks. You’re like “oh it’s too much effort, it doesn’t matter”
He is ganna outlive us because he uses standing desk 😂😂😂
God got through to the broken and unbelievers and saved this man’s life
respect to him for sharing! I wouldn't be able to say mine story to anyone
He adds so much of content for others unintentionally but sadly he doesn't get the limelight he deserves, hopefully oneday he will sure. Sniper rifle ftw 😂🚀🚀🚀
"I'm going to outlive you guys" GAME ON SEAN!
He didn’t see the kitchen light, he saw the light of god lol
I love how his chat is talking about hemmroids while hes talking about suicide 😂
He explained how it feels to be depressed pretty well
Damn, death is so uncertain, scary and absolute that even a non-believer has to yield to the possibility of a torturous afterlife.
Idk I feel like most nonbelievers as you put it dont really care what is after life. Personally I dont and even if there is, sometimes it feels that it will be better than in this world
This is a strange way to formate the title due to how real Sean is being here… feels very cold
69,382 views, 3.7k likes, 117 comments, 75.7k subscribers. Nice!!
sean keeps it 100%
"Popcorn is prepared in the same pot, in the same heat, in the same oil and yet… the kernels do not pop at the same time. Don’t compare yourself to others. Your time to pop is soon to come."
Thanks sean
i cry..maybe i can relate with his story. but thanks sean! 😢
Sean actually explained it really well.
Unfortunately, I know that I'm in that place right now and I feel stuck. Hopefully, I don't get to the point of no return. Still got a little hope in me. I think.
Good luck everyone.
you got this bro
take care of yourself, reach out for help there’s always options ♡
Oh hell nah, I'm gonna be better stronger smarter
I was so in love with life that I tried to figure it all out and then I did, it doesn't matter, nothing, we are all dying and there is no point in living, so I kinda freaked out and the last thing I remember when I was like that was waking up in the hospital after a stomach wash they gave me bc I ended a lot of my mom's heart medicines so like, I'm alive only because I want to at least be happy and do what I want until I can you know, because if there is no point no reason and we're all dead already, kinda, we just gotta do what we want and that's it, we won't have the same opportunity again at least not the same life. Not getting into religion or theories after death here but yeah pretty much it. (i know my english sucks but not the point here :)
I definitely had some kind of mood disorder in high school and just generally was feeling down a lot.
Like I think it was from my undiagnosed autoimmune disease (Lupus), Anxiety, ADHD and discalcula (like dyslexia but with numbers). I'm in my mid 30s and I'm mostly alright...I do get drained easier than most people but chronic pain just does that even when it's treated (it's way less than it was) and math/time is still an actual struggle. (like I reverse hands on a clock by accident so I have to flip them backwards in my brain.).
Also I was only allowed MySpace when I was 18 and doing my victory lap (Fifth year/formerly OAC). I'm in Canada 🇨🇦 btw.
kind of insane to think that if his sister didn't get up in the middle of the night and go to the kitchen at that exact moment, he maybe wouldn't be here today.
I really like Sean
my strimmer
Bruhhh looking up what happens if you commit suicide is the reason why I stopped too 🤣😂😂
I still want to die
Tnx for this
hits hard.
Thank you
I love this
Living for the sake of living seems to be the reason i didnt do it. Boredom gives me depression but if what awaits me after death is eternal waiting then fuck i guess living is better then that
Thanks
How come things on the internet follow through with your emotions, and correlate with you?
idk, sometimes it feels like others dont relate especially when i hear their story. i get the feelings of depression but i just cant find the reason to keep trying. even if i get all my goals all my goals can be taken away by the government just because they feel like it. i can be going to work 9-5 every day for years straight not going out ever save up money buy a truck. bam i get into an accident due to weather in a high traffic area. and i have to pay a fine. so now im in debt for an accident that i was not found at fault legally even the government and insurance agree i was not at fault. i have to pay fines to pay for the cops who came AFTER the accident and were there literally to observe until the tow truck i called came. nobody was hurt no damage other than 1 vehicle idk
I understand that the feelings are crippling. And the anxiety you feel about what could happen if you were to try scares you. So it's hard to take a step forward because that's your self-defense mechanism at work. You don't want to get hurt or come across more negative consequences for putting in the effort towards something. Is that pretty close?
@@Auramaki_ i get that getting hurt is inevitable but the fact that my whole life keeps crumbling to rock bottom on the regular. Like its so common people around me have turned my name into a verb. And its shit that truly have no control over so if its going to keep happening why keep trying. It just seems from my perspective that maybe i was one of those that was meant to die young in battle, even my grandfather just passed away last year and he literally had many mental illnesses his whole life before mental illness was even recognized as an illness. He was in the military and he clearly came back different. All i know is they did a lot of experiments on him way back in the day. He never spoke clearly but he always spoke at least a mumble. Literally nonstop. My entire family has crazy mental illness and im just as susceptible. I have been diagnosed with CTE, fibromyalgia, adhd, chronic depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder. My mother has an even longer list. My sister has a similar list. Even my cousins have similar lists. Like down to my genetics im just trash no matter how good life will be i will never be able to have a comfortable life. Due to my CTE i am extremely likely to develop Alzheimer disease which is what my grandfather died to just last year again already mentioned. Its hard to stay positive eventually no matter how long ive been getting back up and still fighting i just eventually my body gives out. Literally went insane and was hospitalized against my will this year. During this time i dislocated my knee while being manhandled into a room and nobody believed me. Took a monthof begging to see a doctor to get an mri taken and im gonna quote the doctor here “i doubt we’ll find anything but we can do an mri” so i demanded it got it and what do you know there was permanent damage only reversible by surgery.
I can literally go on and on but the worst part is how all my friends and family say they want to help but when im asking they say they cant help. Even if i only ask to just follow through with their promises.
Also my grandfather was a miracle(how long he lived: 97) all my other ancestors were long dead before i was born. Never had a grandmother. On either side of my family.
@L337lllV-nj4bs What has helped me is being hard on myself. This is all going to sound mean but I would say truly ask yourself questions like this. Do you really feel this way? Are you sure your thoughts are the truth? Are you just making excuses because your just too scared to try? If not then ask yourself this. Again this is going to sound mean but I truly asked myself. "Why don't I just do it then?" "If life is too hard why don't I actually stop being scared and end it all?" The truth was I was too scared. Too scared to make a choice so instead I blamed everything else. If you truly 100% believed all that and felt that way and had conviction you would've ended it a long time ago. That is the cold hard truth. Sometimes you have to be hard on yourself, I told myself I was going to stop whining, stop feeling bad for myself and actually ACT. No one is going to feel bad for you, no one is going to save you, so YOU are the only person in this whole world that can do something about your situation. Whatever that something is commit to it and stop worrying about things you have no control over. I'm sure babies born starving and impoverished didn't just one day say "oh well" and give up, there's no reason you should too. Maybe look to medication whatever it is either find a solution or stop crying about it. I know you can do it man!
I'm not going to respond to any future messages, make results not excuses!
@@angelgutierrez9581 every morning i wake up and i have to find a reason to not kill myself. Thanks for the words of encouragement but they dont help. You havent said anything anyone else hasnt told me already. Thanks for not believing how badly i describe it?
❤
wow what a coincidence, if i fail tomorrow, I'll kick out bruh 😂