Warning the narcissist's new partner
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- Опубликовано: 7 сен 2024
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My ex’s ex did try and reach out to me and warn me. He had already painted her as crazy so when I heard from her I shut her down. A month ago I reached out to her because I had so many unanswered questions. She really is the sweetest person and I’m so happy that I did. She supported me as I went through leaving him and I now consider her a really great friend.
You are truly a courageous and understanding real woman. Not all women support each other this way. The one I tried to warn dismissed me simply because I did speak to him to get my closure from him. I heard what I needed and glad I did. Her decision is her decision. She says she can control him, has firmer boundaries, and he does what she says. He never got closure with her, so that’s why he went back to her so who knows. Maybe he is weak for her.
@@annd1411 you mustve not understood her comment cuz she did the same thing to his ex. She shut her down she said. She only wanted to talk to her when she needed enotional support or someone to lean on to talk about her abusive narc.
@@tainawilliams6271 True. I guess I saw good in her still yet. I think that it took a bit of courage to go calling back when the other woman could have easily rejected her and dismissed her like she was at first. . My ex narcs new supply who was his ex was so abusive herself to me that she’d never admit she was wrong and call on me for support. She thinks she’s the love of his life even though he tells everyone he’s dated the same thing. In fact, she was looking for an excuse to crawl back to him and get me out of the way, so she will try to make their relationship work just to prove she wasn’t wrong in taking him back. I know his manners and his way of speaking and behaviors. She won nothing. I asked him to leave my house and he hoovered me back in telling me to go visit him the whole time he was dating her. I didn’t know about her at first. When I found out I let her know about me, but she just made excuses for him and said they had too much history to let go of. A history that involved calling the cops and lots of fights. Ha!
@@annd1411 ok I see what y mean and yeah some prize she has lol she did you a favor by coming along.
@@tainawilliams6271 😊
Never...the narcissist will just spin it that I am a crazy infatuated ex.
Exactly
I was told he’s not talking about you but you are ....
That’s exactly what mine did. She learned the hard way.
And it will work...
I’m just crazy etc etc Apparently.
My ex-husband got married to the THIRD WIFE (I was the second wife) and he did exactly as you described. I was all kinds of evil. Then she came knocking on my door about ten years later and wanted to know “the truth”. And I told her. She DID in fact go back and lo and behold, he discarded and divorced HER! That was 7 years ago and he recently remarried for the FOURTH TIME. About five months into the marriage, he was caught texting another woman.🤦🏽♀️ So now me and the third wife are great friends and we are patiently waiting for the fourth wife to join the party. It’s just a matter of time.😆🤣😂
I was a third wife he has now moved on to #4
Nope, I wouldn’t tell them.. it’s their journey now, not mine anymore..
No I wouldn't EITHER 😅 time will tell it just might be true love 💖
Bon voyage!
Bon voyage!
@@babss2285 😳🤣😍💥
@@deniseguzzardo 😂 😂 🎉💎🆘
Nooooooo
Her ex warned me...did I believe?....no...I just thought he was jealous and I was totally lovestruck...I wouldn't have listened to anyone!!!
Now we are friends..lol
The enemy of thy enemy is thy friend.
I warned the new boyfriend of my mother. He didn't listen either.
That is on YOU. Her ex did the right thing. It's your fault you were too arrogant to listen.
Actually I would listen to her exes if they would want to tell me something. But Iam maybe different...
@@le_th_ Why you coming in with that angle? Sounds like shaming. They get the error already.
@@cairosilver2932 There is no angle and no shame was intended.
People generally warn you about someone for a *really* good reason. You listen. Then you pay very close attention to see if there may be some truth to what they said. Then you arrive at your own conclusion.
Decent human beings with a conscience and empathy for others will WARN others if they know someone is dangerous, abusive, a con artist, etc. (if they can do it safely) When someone takes the time to do that, LISTEN and then you know exactly what to watch out for (yeah, I'm leaving that preposition dangling).
When I started to date him, he told me about his ex girlfriends: all of them were crazy. This was a HUGE red flag for me. I knew that this couldn't be true. But I ignored that, he was too good to not enjoy. At some point, I realize that he was actually right: it is impossible to be with him and not became crazy at some point. They weren't crazy. He made them like that, like he made me think that I was loosing my mind several times.
I agree! He drove me crazy and then put it all on me. Flying monkeys too!
Yup
@@anamorales3722 💯
So true 👍🏻
Common denominator him
No!!! Never!!! It’ll backfire! I just sat back and watched 😂 He didn’t need me to wreck it, he did fine on his own!
😂😂
Best comment ever!!! Narcissist leave a path of destruction where ever they go, it’s only a matter of time lol.
I agree--let the poor schmuck find out for themselves .
Haha
Mine did the same..just sit back and let karma take its place.
She already knows he’s a cheater, so what’s the point.
It's also the loss of all that you've invested and compromised. It's hard to believe that they're not the person you met, and you continue to think that person will return, and that's who they want to be.
A counselor once asked me if I though he might be setting me up to fail. I couldn't comprehend why a spouse would do that. I just couldn't image someone would invest in a marriage to then try to destroy it. It's a hard lesson to learn.
How you get em is how you lose em, as they say
But surely it will be different with me!!!
😩😖😠
Remember: if hes cheating on her, he will cheat on you!
Cheating is only one way that someone could be mean to their marriage partner.
I think Narcissists should come with a warning tag. It'd be a service to humanity.
No way! I'm so happy that he found new narcissistic supply because that means he will leave me alone! Thank you God for huge favors.....
I agree! They will show up when the latest victim has left or been discarded.
No way. I'm ecstatic that they found new supply! Hopefully they will leave me alone!
I’m sorry but this is so wrong. Why would you be ok with someone experiencing the hell you went through?
@@sk6964 it doesn't automatically default to being ok with someone else's suffering. Aren't able to save people from themselves. All can do is not be a part of the triangulation & dancing to the puppet masters tune. There's none so blind as those who cannot see. Each person learns in their own time. There's no ball to catch or throw if aren't playing the game.
@@sixthsenseamelia4695 let’s look at this in a different way. What if we knew the man was in the kkk but would purposely attract black women to lovebomb and then take over their lives and torture them. Would you still not say anything? I’m tired of people having conditional empathy.
What’s funny is the new girlfriend always think she’ll change him and he’ll do her better nope their true colors always come out just stay away and be glad you’re not in it even if it’s hurts you.
@@tracyzintel376 yes they always make you look like the bad one and tell others the same thing then when they found out here they come trying to talk to you about what he did to her funny because sometimes you get a new friend
Not necessarily :) I don't think I can change anyone, nor do I want to. Stayed with him for 2 months and then I got the fuck out of there after the second devalue!
You're right...my ex's 2 months girlfriend called me crying some weeks ago about how he lies and cheats,and that he still has feelings for me and he doesn't care about her.. she wanted to talk so we talked..even met up then some days later she told me she is willing to fight for him and she will do anything to make him a better man...even asked for my help changing him.. That made me a lil jealous but phew!!good riddance...its her turn to suffer
@@tesskariuki2202 They never change just change girlfriends but yea if she thinks she'll change him then let her think that because you know he won't she has a lot more crying to do if she stays sad just sad.
No, she'll make him better. In lying, deceiving, manipulating, etc. He is a vampire and learns and steals from other people's personalities because he doesn't have one himself. Mine always told my jokes to others. When he was with other women, his use of language even changed. He used different smilies. He even asked the same questions ( do you know this movie?, What would you still like to do...) The same game. Different girl. Sometimes he made the mistake of asking me those questions ( or maybe that was just triangulating). Idk. Idc. Anymore.
I tried to warn the new supply very politely and she blocked me immediately. Good luck to her!
she blocked me too and guess what he blocked me and then unblocked me and then blocked me again. and then unblocked me to let me see their photos. lol. i warn here but i guess she never believes so i blocked them both.
Same
@@tharzyrya1991😂😂😂😂
They blocked you cause they don't see the red flag phase yet. When they know, they wouldn't block you... They will regret it soon after
When I see quotes like, “you can’t change a man, the man will change for the right women” boils my blood!!
Narcissists don't change. They typically get worse with age. At best they put on an act they think you want to see, but it's just an act to lure you in. False promises, omission of things they are hiding, and in the end they try to blame you. Everything that works in healthy relationships is a tool of manipulation and deception for a narcissist. In the end, they tear everyone else down, stand on a pile of rubble, and declare themselves above everyone else.
@@danielkaiser8971 ws 2a2wss4s45d l
I can see where you're coming from. I am sorry for the pain you have felt. From my experience, I'm kinda on the opposite side of this quote. I just got out of a somewhat narcissistic relationship where the girl and her mother were trying to employ guilt tactics to make me change things about myself that I really was not willing to change. I'm probably also narcissistic, but at least my mother did not contact this girl about private things in our dating relationship.
I hate that sentence too. I don't want my ex narc to change for another woman. Why should this woman get all the best of this man's love when I was treated like crap by him? This jerk can mess with my mind for two years leading me on to believe he loved me, and then just marrying some other woman, who was a colleague of mine, behind my back and lead a happy married lufe? I am back in the trenches of healing from this betrayal. I don't want him to be happy with someone else. This guy used me , got his jollies off, and slapped me in the face by betraying me. There needs to be some justice.
@@hayleycrawford2784 same story too me! And now he call me again, they want there cake and eat it too! Sutch a lozer!
I would have actually appreciated if my ex's ex had warned me.
Me too!
Me too.
Hindsight.
I became friends with my ex’s ex after their divorce started. My ex has wonderful adult children and my stepdaughter ask if I would be willing to talk to the soon to be ex. I said sure , I know exactly what you are going thru. I helped her strategize and clued her in on what to expect. She is not crazy she is a very intelligent smart beautiful soul. I was so happy to listen to her and let her know that it wasn’t her.
They are divorced now, praise God.
I reached out to my ex husbands ex wife 2 years in and we compared in stories almost identically. I still stayed 3 more years. Divorced now, trauma bonds are wild.
Today I told the new girl about all of the garbage I went through last year with the narc. She told me I was delusional, denied what I was telling her, told me to stay away, and that I was just having a hard time moving on and needed help.
Happened to me as well. Got blocked and end of story. At least we tried...
She ‘s gonna come back later, i promise
After 18 years together with my ex narc, he was engaged with his new supply in 2 months. I figured they were both nuts so I stay as far away as possible.
My ex narc got married the same week we divorced 🤔
How sad honestly. Why do they get to be so happy and find love so quickly?. No justice and how do we cope with this ?
@@woopiemiddleman8232 Do you really believe they are happy? Were you happy when you were with the narc? Was your ex narc ever happy? Narcissist are toxic and only a toxic person can stay within a narcissistic relationship and that’s why these relationships end most often then not. They end when the healthier person says enough is enough.
The reason they race to jump into another toxic relationship is no different then when a recently released prison convict desperately wants to return to the safety of his prison cell. A narcissist can not survive outside the prison he creates for his partner and himself. But believe me there is no real happiness within that prison.
@@woopiemiddleman8232 Honestly what helps me is knowing that they have no true meaning of happiness. They fill their lives with lies and manipulation because they are completely incapable of true love. So, even though it may seem like they are happy, I know down deep inside he is not, nor will he ever be.
@Aimi Miao thank you everyone. I feel better 🙏
She tried to tell me and he said she was crazy and abusive, I believed him and 4 years later emailed her to apologise now that I've left. Scary what love bombing can do.
This sounds so much like my experience. His ex warned me, she seemed very hurt and I confronted him and he told me she was manipulative, abusive and "had issues"... needless to say, I desperately wanted to apologize to her 3 years later. We're now friends.
same here..
Me too. Apologized to her after 3 years. She’s now one of my bestfriends.
Yes, it sort of fell into my lap, and worked out to be a good thing. I found that my ex-narc was already grooming another woman before he had actually moved out of my house. When I contacted her, I was very respectful but upfront about why I broke up with him. I also told her to consider researching the term "covert narcissist" and that he is the poster child for that disorder. She contacted me later, saying that she caught onto his game and distanced herself from him. It feels like I saved a very sweet and sensitive person from the grips of a predator.
Good for you even if it helps one person it’s worth it. Far too many subscribe to let them be go NC - that’s how the narcs are thriving and increasing because they know most will walk away and let them move on to the next prey..they only get worse with each one...yes karma may come but could take 30 years and in that time they could have destroyed 10 more lives. Maybe if people warned even if they don’t want to hear it will put them sub consciously on alert until they are fully ready to face the truth.
@@marybarlow3628 Yes!!
@@marybarlow3628 Nahh she knew i was with him and basically played mistress, there's no point in me telling her.
I reached out to my ex's ex-wife, and asked what made her leave him and I felt like she was reading a page out of my book and that changed everything for me!
I did the same thing and I was floored. We had so many of the same experiences that I felt sick listening to her. I was thinking I was really the problem in our relationship. I allowed him to manipulate and gaslight me something bad.
Wow!
I spoke to the husbands ex wife. Turns out it isn't just me that he treated this way!!
I reached out to my ex’s ex-wife and everything paralleled. The craziest thing is, he took me on our first romantic date to the place that he proposed to her.
My ex warned me, "You tell her anything about me, I will k--- (changes mind) hurt you." He meant to say he would kill me. Narcs do NOT like to be exposed.
My ex said the same thing. Twinsies :)
Same here.
@metoo
I was tempted to do this (tell my narcissist's new partner about my experience, to warn them). I decided NOT to. My decision was largely centered around what would benefit me most (and probably selfish), but that is my answer. I decided that I was not interested in being seen as the person with the problem (an instigator or meddler). My best response, to the abuse and suffering I went through for years, is SELF CARE and SELF IMPROVEMENT.
It's not worth your peace...they will see..in time
No.
I can't even imagine how much time and energy that would take.
Take that energy and put it towards healing yourself.
Exactly
If someone warned me in the beginning I wouldn't have listened, so I wouldn't expect the new victim to listen either. They have to learn themselves, as sad as that is. Also, if you warn them the narcissist will think you are jealous and trying to ruin it which would be an ego boost you don't want to give them. Love you Dr. Ramani 😊
Fax 📠
No u wouldn't of listened but I know in experience my exs ex told me I didn't listen but I remembered it. It helped me in the end
Sounds like People who don’t listen become victims. Maybe The narc is looking for these people, and as the rest drop out these non listeners stick with it. They are looking for people who display active cognitive dissonance? A tactic of Weeding out the people who won’t buy it.
😅😅😅 true
The narc sucked me back in 6mo. After we broke up. He was in a relationship with the supply he left me for still. Lied to me about her, timeline when they met, that she was just a fling, etc. I tried warning her and she went back to him. Lesson learned. My life after him has been SO much better! More travel with peace, huge promotion at work, just overall free. Thank you Dr. R…you helped save me.
His ex reached out to me for answers, I gave them to her. Told her to get trauma therapy.
His current ex - after three years since they broke up - says he’s her best friend and she’d STILL do anything for him. No hope for her.
@@DancingQueenie its different for everyone for sure. My ex had a few ex gfs that still played his game years later. They tended to be less healthy themselves.
@@af3893 Yes, I saw that too. Ex girlfriends, trauma bonded and with low self esteem, still hanging onto something
@@DancingQueenie this breaks my heart. That they care more about not hurting their abusers than valueing themselves. When I did that it was lots and lots of denial about what really happened. And once I realized it I removed all of those people from my life because if they never cared about my needs and not hurting me, why should I let them do it still all in the name of forgiveness and friendship? There is no friendship to sustain with these people.
@@ylvachasingbutterflies2020
Absolutely! I’m sorry you went through that. I have a couple of friends who’ve stayed friends with nasty exes and are excited when the losers call them. I don’t get that. After you know their true nature, why choose to keep them in your life (or even in your head)?
I learned a visualization that helped me a lot. I put those abusive people (including my sister!) in an elevator and send it into outer space. The top pops off and they all float into the universe. If there are any threads, I snip the thread so I have no ties. I stopped hoping they’d change or that they might apologize. They’re just gone on their own path and the universe will take care of them.
Never Keep moving forward. I thank God I made it out alive and whole.
I feel you on that 😊
Hello George I totally agree with you stay safe blessings
I dated a guy for a little bit, he was 35 and “all his exes were crazy”. He was a typical narcissist. I was lucky to learn that rather quickly. If at 35 years old you never met someone “not crazy” than problem is you.
I wished I would’ve known because I met my ex at 35 and those were the exact words he said to me. All my ex’s are crazy mean they did Bullshit to their ex’s and never held themselves accountable for any of it. Now that I’m dating again I listen out for “all my ex’s are crazy” comment because Imma straight block!!!
Yet how old are you and still single? Lol talk about the pot calling the kettle black.
God, I almost felt obligated to, but a little voice said, don't even call anyone in that state.
Who would leave the new relationship when its working? They have to find for themselves that this person isnt the right one...
Somedays I feel guilty I didnt. New supply got pregnant after few months only. That poor kid..
My former narc’s gf saw me at a club and somehow knew I was with him. She came up to me and said, enjoy him while you can, and always know it is not your fault! “ I was already starting to think it was my fault, and her kind words actually really helped.
That is the message I would like to deliver, enjoy being loved like you're the queen of the world, when he starts throwing shit, and breaking your furniture, it is not your fault. It is no impulse control.
That was such a good move on her part.
😃
Wow at least she tried
That's why I'm gonna warn my ex's new wife. She can dismiss me but I know he's making her miserable and she's probably confused as to why. A lot of people don't understand they're being abused.
A few comments from co-workers, who noticed some things he was doing, was enough to make me realize it wasn't my imagination and he really was treating me bad.
I warned the woman who dated my first narcissistic ex about his behavior and years later after they broke up she came back to me and thanked me for warning her. We ended up becoming good friends.
I just recently sent a message to my recent narcissistic ex's new girl to warn her as well and while she might not believe me now, I bet sometime down the road she'll come and thank me too.
The trick is to be honest and compassionate.
Never worth it ever. It’s not your journey, it’s theirs.
I disagree with "never". That's an absurd statement to make.
@@le_th_ okay:)
I just got discarded in November, my heart was shattered when I saw that he had a new supply. Your videos are helping me to move on♥️
Edit:
Thank you so much for you love and support ❤️ this is an amazing community ❤️
Wish you recovery
Going through it too right now. But I’m sure it’s been going on for awhile. It isn’t new. They were cheating on us.
Time heals.. Stay strong on your path
@@covortti true
Same
did reach out, she said 'he loves me & obviously I love him too' 2 yrs later this girl came crying I was too peaceful to care . like how did u not understand that every coin has two sides !
At the very least we need some laws for narcissism. Emotional abuse needs to recognized in family court and child support needs to be firm. Why are they allowed to have 10 kids and decide what they want to contribute? It makes no sense
@@user5gi3f17 OMFG shut up.
Only WOMEN have the choice to keep or discard a fetus (abortion) or baby (adoption). Fathers rights are crucial, and feminism is fucking narcissistic cancer.
Motherhood is NEVER an accident.
Society favors women and you goddamn fucking know it. Women have all rights that men have, and more, without having all the responsibility. Men put into the system, women take out. The system is 100% gynocentric and revolves around giving women protections and programs and facilities and advantages and everything that men don't have. Men are providing it. Everything you see and use was built by men supporting their families and dying early deaths so women and children could survive.
@@danielkaiser8971 Are you a proud boy? Kinda sound like a proud boy.
I agree with No, their new relationship(s) are none of your business, you keep your distance and you move on, overcome what they did and never let them back in again.
No. I got my final discard 2 days ago. I stayed with him for 2 years. It hurts knowing that he is love bombing his new supplies right now, but I know what comes afterwards and the continuous cycle and I feel for her. Right now she believes that she had found her soul mate.
Her soulmate from hell ...
Omg I was discarded this week😮💨 I feel bad for any new potential. How are you doing now since being narc free? Have he hoovered?
I told her. She blocked me the next day. Wishing her best of luck with the narcissist.
it's her problem not yours so her trash
Don't forget she will remember your warning doen the line. You see I thanked my exs ex when she warned me even though it was years later. It helped me clarify things to remember her story
He made her block you. And She didn’t block you- she blocked a fictional character he invented
Same to me. I tried to save her but she blocked me.. I'm so angry :( but maybe I'm just angry about the past me
@@hannah37ya I'm not saving anyone,the toxic other baby mum slagged off his whole family then turned on me believing their bullshit,so she slagged them all off and me
It's your job to save yourself. They will have to do the same, eventually.
I agree with all of this. I would never reach out. They wouldn’t listen and it’s not my style anyway. I have no social media and I moved 100 miles away back to my foundation, family and friends. I never have to see or hear about him again. I’m hoping someday I stop crying and stop thinking of what could have been……. I know in my heart that he moved on quickly because that’s what they do but I don’t have to see it, hear it, or care. My path is to heal.
I had a 4 hour long conversation with my ex's ex partner and it was wonderful. He was far different to how she described him and we were actually a lot a like, empathetic, we cried about her together and helped eachother mutually move on a little better. Will never forget that day
Could be the start of something big! 😂
This is such a relief, you are lucky to have lived it, didn t it feel like justice has eventually come?! He left me for her, I want to go and tell her (my motives are unhealthy as Doctor Ramani says), but I feel that all this is so unfair, I feel so lonely. My truth is not shared with anyone.
@@mgioanni you know the TRUTH and that's all that matters !!❤️❤️
Same with me. I talked to 2 of her exs and found out she treats all men this way and bounces from relationship to relationship.
If you go "no contact" you would never know the person has a new partner....
true!
They always get new partners. Even if you dont see it.
Well said this is true...must detach...it's an illness compulsion and addictive. Stay away.
Until he starts parading her around in front of you
I'm no contact but we live in the same place and gave mutual friends so I see them together every few days! Literally three weeks after telling me love me me he's with her. I knew it was a lie but I was still shocked
That’s the hardest thing. She looks so happy on social media. All I’m thinking is how he hurt me.
We all look happy on social media. are we really...?
No, because the narcissist will end up making you look like the crazy fool in the end! But wouldn't we all love to do it!
I warned the new supply, she blocked me and I looked like the crazy one. 😂
In all seriousness, don’t do it, it’s not worth it, choose the high road, we are worth it... 🤗
The same thing happend to me and she call me crazy and a stalker, she even made me feel guilty about it
I got blocked too, I warned her after he discarded her and offered proof of his cheating, she didn't want it and then blocked me, it was definitely not a good feeling as a woman coming from another woman..
No contact represents my health and freedom. It’s not designed to be in someone else’s business thank you mistress and good luck with that.❤
I genuinely don’t want to be with them, fully done with them, and dont want someone else to go through what I went through. It’s life ruining. If someone had warned me I would’ve been so grateful even if I didn’t believe them at first.
Exact same here
Hahahaha, remember when you were in high school and your friend's boyfriend hit on you?
You told your friend and what happened? That's right, it somehow became all your fault and you lost a friend.
People see what they want to see. So Hell No! No! No!
That happened to me when I was in my mid 20s. I got blamed and my friend ended up marrying him and having a kid with him.
I’m SO relieved that my nex has a new supply HOWEVER, I feel horrible for what she’s about to endure.
I was warned and I believed his then ex BUT the difference was that I thought I could heal and help him see the change. I was love bombed but never truly believed him. I just wanted him to change and had this “savior” complex.
His ex was the sweetest thing! Such a sweet woman and I wish I had listened when she said that I couldn’t change him. That there is NO CURE for NPD.
Only if they are willing to do the work
I was warned! His daugters and his ex wife gave me a written script about what the narcissist would do...and I thought they were "just mean". I wish I had listened; but the love bombing was what I NEEDED. He is the demon they warned me about!
The attention is dizzying
Absolutely.
Same here. His own mother called him a narcissist
And in retrospect, are you grateful they tried to warn you? Or would you say: better not?
To me it sounds like in the moment it won't work, but afterwards it's actually a very lovely discovery they cared about warning you 🤷♀️
@@ThisIsAnneleen they people who tried to warn me were in the own flaming relationships so...no.
No.I've already gotten away from him and don't want to go backward. I refuse to allow anyone to live rent free in my head anymore.
I like how you said that! Thank you for that.
I did warn her with proof of texts and she broke up with him and he immediately convinced her, whatever he did, and they got back together. I then realized she’s my savior for freedom & peace.
No because I knew if someone had told me in the early days I wouldn’t have believed them, he was great until he wasn’t.
It amazing at first. I thought I finally met someone who appreciates me. I was fooled and did not see what was coming at all. It still shocks me. I will never be the same.
“There is no better version of them! It’s just narcissist 1.0”
F A C T S !
I think one of the original problems that caused getting entangled with a narcissist is a lack of boundaries, so staying distant and not trying to "save" their new partner might feel wrong but that's the only way to heal.
Saw this on social media: "Don't tell me you ran into my ex, unless you ran into him with a car." ;)
Lol!!!!! Clever joke
Lol. Soooo true!
Too funny. I love this quote. Thanks for sharing.
🤣
😂
No point. It makes you look like the narcissist is right about you, and if they're in love they won't listen anyway. It's a lose/lose.
I never date. I just stay focus on my missionary work for the Kingdom of God. Shalom!!
I feel like if she asked I would tell her how our relationship played out but I wouldn’t seek her out.
I wish I could. She seems like a nice lady, who's had a rough life, but I know my ex has already demonized me. I just hope she has a strong support system who will believe her and doesn't allow her to be isolated.
I’d absolutely reach out to warn whoever she’s with! I feel sorry for the next guy lol
💯
My ex’s mom warned me about her... did I listen? Nope, tried on that new cape and said “this looks like a job for super me!”
My ex’s mom warned me too. I didn’t listen immediately...not until 4 months later. What she said always stuck in my head.
Omg, this made me LOL. Totally feel ya
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Wow, the MOM warned you?!
nicholas schroeder always listen to warnings
I realized 4 years later he was a narcissist and how my whole Mentalhealth was severly affected
I'm sorry you are going through your struggles in your head and can't think clear.. I am still struggling with my own mental torture of 3 years. Very sad we get a part of our dignity stripped from us from the narcissist .
You reclaim dignity and self respect when you take better care of yourself.
My grain of salt: in my case, the narcissist was my brother. I tried one time to warn his new partner, calling my brother a "serial charmer" but the only thing that I received in this exchange from her is "you're jealous". My mouth just dropped open, wtf would I be jealous about? he's my brother. Anyway, years later, she had the grace to visit me home and tell me that I was right about him, that she should have listened and finally apologised (after being cleaned up, emotionally and financially). So I agree, even if your intention is pure and genuine, it's not worth it and I have since then cut all contact with him, even if he's my younger brother. Btw, our father was a narcissist as well.
Good !
I did it. Was a massive mistake.
I think most people have tried to at one point or other in their lives. All it does is feed the narc beast. Consequently erodes own boundaries & behaviour. However now that we know otherwise from experience & wisdom, can hold ourselves in good stead - with ourselves. It's one thing for others to sell you short, it's a travesty to sell yourself short.
@@melodyharmony8448 An acknowledgement would be sufficient. 9 × out of 10 the other person naievely fell into the same hole we did. Never sensing the danger. I wont apologise for a narcs actions. I would empathise with the other persons situation though.
Sometimes the narcissist will tell you how wonderful their ex was/is just to devalue to control you. They will tell everyone else that you are crazy but they will put their ex on a pedestal and let you know how fantastic the relationship/sex etc was and that you are substandard.
The question should be why are you guys not together?
Then drunk text you behind their new partners back for 7 years but when he is sober she is better than me again.
Yes! My ex husband said how terrible his second wife was, until he started in on me and then suddenly she was a saint and I was terrible in comparison
@@seedofisrael1356 mthank you i just did
🤦🏽♀️ I would actually compliment him on how well he spoke of them. And then he started to devalue them to me (which confused me) and talk about the passive-aggressive stunts he'd pull (which annoyed me) against them. He'd complain about the crazy exes who kept threatening to kill themselves, and then I'd see him going to events with them, and still on social media with them, and still going to their "rescue", and then complaining how pathetic they were/are. I knew that's how he was going to talk about me.
I avoid this man more than the proverbial plague.
I didn't believe the warnings, and so I knew I wouldn't be believed in turn 😢
I did warned her because I caught them together while cheating on me and she wasn’t aware about him being with me for the past 2 1/2 yrs while they just started their relationship 5mos ago. She said she’s confused and fell in love with him. I told her if she stays with him she has to be ready for more lies. She said he told her he loves her. I told her if he truly loves her why he didn’t come clean of telling her about me at all? Why did he lied about my existence in his life? I told her it’s only her who can answer that question and I left her with that question and moved on.
Almoat 6 months after my break up I reached out to his ex wife and I found it so cathartic to talk to her and know I wasn't crazy and my experience was real. She really was lovely 😫
I've always wondered her side of the story too. I always found it strange how he spoke about her so badly and nothing about his wrong doings. I guess that's a sign right there.
How long was your relationship? If I may ask.
„There’s just narcissist 1.0. It never evolves past that. Ok?!“
haven’t heard truer words in a long time! Thank you Dr Ramani!
Fax 📠 lol 😂
I've recently had a bad experience with a narsissist after a prior narsissist. It hurts that that's why he picked me because I was vulnerable and able to be manipulated. I think the hardest thing is something you haven't done a RUclips about yet and that is the lies and how to know the truth and dealing with the truth once you know it was a all a twisted game and their end goal wasn't the same as yours even know he was telling you it was. There were so many promises made to me about moving back in together being a family again, getting engaged, even to the point he told me continuously he had a ring for me when at that time he was talking to someone else. That's the hardest part, not knowing if it was a lie or something real. You think to yourself if I just 'shut up and put up' I would have got my happily ever after when in reality it was never there despite them saying it was real. They were only using you and lieing to you, telling you it's your fault they haven't gave you the ring yet or even giving you the ring and taking it back once you 'act out' (stand up for yourself) which he did with my bracelet he gave me continuously. It's a cruel, vicious game they play that hurts the most. Knowing the love I had and the pain I was going threw was just one sided and although he acted distraught and like I was the problem he was actually happy I was suffering and accepting his manipulation. The feeling of stupidity for staying and letting someone manipulate your reality hurts the most.
My experience is almost same like yours. Hugs! Sister
Wow!!! I felt this!! Sounds almost identical to my story.
I wish someone had warned me, but I won't warn anyone just not to get in any unnecesary disputes
Me too. I wish I'd been warned or knew the sign.
Been tempted a lot! But I was afraid they’d just think I was crazy
They probably would. You can't help them, so leave that thought behind.
Not your problem. Not your job.
She will think your jealous. Let her find out for herself what a catch she has caught her self NOT!!
My narc ex told me his ex was crazy, and mocked her in this high-pitched girlish voice. When I started trying to set boundaries and calling him out on his bad behaviour (cheating, lying, etc) he began calling me crazy and mocking my words with the same voice. Before I had even found out about his new girlfriend, she'd already blocked me on social media because he told her I was crazy. Unfortunately, that means that I can never give her all the screenshots of him calling me, texting me, etc during their relationship and telling me he misses me and loves me and doesn't love her (I've now gone NC with him). I know she'll figure it out eventually and I hope she is able to escape from him and heal just like I am.
"The goal is indifference", yes, yes and yes again. Heal thy self first and rest takes care of itself naturally. Remember 'time' is your most precious currency, you have only a finite quantity of time, use it wisely.
The ex narc doesn't need my help in messing his life up. He's doing a bang up job in that department all by himself.
Yes!
Absolutely. Some people are so good at lying that confirmation from the past, may be the only thing they have to help them feel sane & validated when they realize they need to leave.
Narcism is abuse, we have a moral obligation to care about that new person and give them what they will need to help themselves later on ❤
My ex narc and new supply bought a house together. I definitely have mixed feelings about it. I think about what’s next for her. Marriage, children, and the fairytale I once dreamed of. I feel robbed in a way. But then I just have to remember this guy threatened to hit me and press charges if I defended myself just because he’s a cop. Narcissism and cumulative ptsd could be a dangerous combination. I hope everyone here finds healing and the love they deserve. ❤️
Be thankful you got away . Narcissist s that are cops are some of the worst kinds and can be really dangerous.
@ April Barrera I relate to your comment. I feel the same way. My narc ex, he remarried, they just had a baby, and he is building her a house and giving her the life he future faked with me about and more. Our daughters deserve way better than he is able to give them as their father. It is so hard to come to terms with all of it. Thank you for sharing, it takes courage and I admire that. I hope you are well.
@@originalcindy3211 Except that he is not giving her the life you dreamed of. I find myself making mistakes in thinking all the time, and it's hard to correct myself when I have been trained to believe the lies. It only looks like he is giving her more. He is still 'Narc 1.0' and she is getting future faking too. My son gives me a reason to retrain myself. I hope your daughters are the wind beneath your wings too. Big hugs xx
Thank you, April. Your well-wishing fills my heart. Big hugs xx
I'm so sorry you were the one that deserved all that
I’ll only warn them if they ask me. Otherwise, I just mind my business lol
I Agree‼️
This came at the perfect time. The new gf's family reached out to me. Since weve broken up hes dated 2 recent widows. The newest one has kids, that scared me because i know how he is. We are both the same culture (native) they family said i have to stand up for other women. All i could is confirm hes abusive. Since they contacted me my stress levels went up, i started smoking again, not sleeping. So i know i cant get involved. I treasure my peace these days
I warned her, she didn’t listen, 3 years later, they broke up. I did my best. No regrets.
Three years of hell later, no doubt.
Poor thing.
I believe what you said may have helped her even if it's 3 years later x
Tried to warn mine, I looked crazy.
did it also make you feel better warning her?
the narcissist loves triangulation, telling the new partner is like still being on the narcissist grip
I did warn the new partner. My ex husband narcissist has the unfortunate pattern of physical abuse, towards myself and my daughter who was his step child in the marriage. His new partner has already been isolated from their family by relocating. The new partner also has a child that will be his stepchild. I sat with the knowing of all these patterns and facts about what had happened to us, debating whether is was productive to tell the new partner. Randomly the new partner reached out to me and I took that as a sign. When we talked, I told her everything, much like I would have told the police. I told her that because she is bringing a child into the situation, I had safety concerns for her child. She also disclosed some really concerning things about the relationship so far and pretty much confirmed a lot of what I was saying. I felt that as a mother, I had to tell her. I feel at peace with it knowing that those words will stay in her mind when she sees these signs. But knowing that she’s in an abusive relationship herself at this point, I know and never expected her to just leave him but at least notice the signs to keep her child safe.
His ex tried to warn me, I didn't believe her, and I thought she wanted him back..
Very Human reaction
My ex husband married me but he was talking to girls but he still married me, he didn't provide for me then after a year of marriage he went Pakistan and got married to another girl, then he divorced her. After sometime he got a girl pregnant, he told her a big bag of lies about me and this Muslim girl didn't know about me but he was still with me. I found out and got divorced but he was cheating on her with other girls and she was pregnant, moved her out of London so she dont find out about me. SubhanAllaah
Now my husband lied and tricked me into polygamy marriage, I cry and I'm so upset how a man cant lie and trick me into polygamy marriage SubhanAllaah. The other wife dont know about me, he moved her out of London Tooting area to Blackpool in 2019 summer time, so I dont leave him, now he tells me their is no wife "Sakina", I said because you moved her to Blackpool so I cant tell her now and the wife didn't even question him, the mans moved you out of London SubhanAllaah.
Be careful sisters, dont trust noone. Most Muslim brothers have other girls and that's how it is nowadays SubhanAllaah. My was husband had me and her then he was talking to other girls for marriage, he didn't tell these girls he was married with children.
He was talking to girls online and his family took him to see other girls at their homes "CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT" you know your son is married with children and your taking him to see other girls for marriage SubhanAllaah.
Alot of guys are married or have secret wives and secret girlfriends and secret children SubhanAllaah Ya Allah so please be careful, be careful. I cry so much because I love him, unconditional love Allah swt put in my heart for my husband.
Now I'm suffering with mental health issues, emotional abuse too because he was married I got a infection from him too from him having sex with the wife and that's how I found out he was married to another woman SubhanAllaah. The wife still dont know about me Terrible.
@@JahannamHellfire you need to divorce that man!
Well, he was probably so amazing in the love bombing phase, its normal you thought she wanted him back :)
Didn't that help you in the end though, when you realized the same thing was happening to you?
I would like to take a moment to appreciate how much I enjoy Dr. Ramani saying ' Were in love together, he is my soulmate, bla blabla'. Made my day
Me too! After only two months he was calling himself "the one" and had an engagement ring fund he would talk about. it truly is "blah blah blah".
I won't have any contact with either of them (if) he ever gets a new gf. I have a feeling he's actively looking and I'm finally at the place in my life where I am peaceful and relieved. it's been 17 days no contact and I feel amazing. He blocked me on Facebook but yet he still calls me a few times a day. I just sit here amused and ignore the calls. I'm done. He used me, abused me, made fun of me and gossiped about me, called me horrible names, told me to commit suicide and lies horribly.
I'm better off with no one around me. Best wishes to all
The new partner(wife) was my best friend for 25 years, I trusted her and sheared with her all my hopes and dreams and disappointment. That is the most painful betrayal that I ever experienced, 6 years later and I am still trying so hard to get over it
❤️❤️❤️❤️
💗💗💗
This is the ultimate betrayal and I know how u feel💜
Well, we know he got a snake. Should be some satisfaction in that. But I understand how betrayal stings. I still stew over friends that betrayed me. Part of it is the realization that they must have been jerks all along, and you feel like a fool for the trust and affection that you wasted on them. So you end up watching Dr. Ramani and hope you'll know better in future.
WE ARE ALL WITH U....GOD IS WITH U.....DIVINE JUSTICE WILL BE.DONE....
I *wish* someone had warned me. I was overseas when I stumbled from one abusive relationship with a narcissist straight into another one. I had gone travelling to escape 2 narcissistic parents. I had no "sanity markers" around me, like friends and other family to tell me something seemed off. They were big love bombers, but if I'd received a warning earlier on I might have seen the light sooner.
Me too
Yes, me too. I might have not acted on the information immediately, but would have gotten more education and ended the relationship sooner than I did minimizing the damage.
Sincere males do not look attractive to women, while narc seems so self-confident and cool. And we can't do anything about it. I can only advice you to pay attention to a man that looks not cool, not special etc. Most of the times they are better for a partner role.
I tried to tell the new person I did she actually called me crying one night I felt so bad I told her he constantly yelled screamed even at the family’s business no one ever said a word except the brother guess they are ere all narcissistic also basically didn’t give two shots about me I would tell anyone I could and explain it if they let me!!!! Don’t let someone else suffer if you can help it, she did leave months later gave him black money yea all that but he was so aggressive would just come at you hard yell over nothings all the time I’m glad she left but I never got a thankyou that’s okay she didn’t spend 9 years of abuse like I did
Me and the next girl connected thru a mutual friend who was like… what did he do to you two?! She and I had a three hour long conversation and she had already experienced the worst of him that it took me two years to get there. We are still friends. She is awesome lol. It helped us both to understand wtf was happening with this crazy dude. It honestly helped us both move on though she had only been hanging out with him for like a couple of months. She was way smarter than I was at the beginning. I was nervous meeting her at first to chat but we were actually really similar and we had nothing bad to say to each other- we actually talked on Xmas day lol
No, i would say something like "trust your guts"
My ex narcissist got a new supply recently. I checked her on social media and my heart broke for her 💔 she seems like a genuine nice person, but considering the way he talked to me about his former girlfriend, I am pretty sure he completely destroyed me as a person in front of her. That’s why I chose to stay silent and let her figure it out herself. Rather sooner than later.
Same here.
I reached out to what I thought was an ex partner and got retraumatized when I heard that she was in a relationship with ex narc up till the day I contacted her. I do think that the new partner will believe everything the narcissist says about their ex. I myself believed every word he said and even after the relationship ended, my trauma bond held his beliefs and lies as more sane than the truth that was in front of me. It took a lot of strength, love and support to remove myself from that mentality. Indifference towards the narcissist and all who stand for them and their beliefs is the IDEAL place to be. ❤️
The last thing I want from my ex is the retaliation that I'm sure would follow if I tried to warn their new boo about their covert narcissistic personality. Not my problem!
Heck no!! Eventually when the narc turns on them, they will probably find you anyway.
You hear or see them blissfully moving on with someone else after a few months. It seems the more you question whether there's something wrong with you. The conscious decision to remain single and take time to heal and regain self esteem/confidence is difficult when when the person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with discarded you like a used dishcloth, reached into the cupboard and replaced you with a new one.
Short answer, no. Wish them well and keep living your best life. Jealousy and other awkward emotions will come up and if they do, just take solace in the fact they won't be bothering you anymore.
No, they’ll twist it and say you’re bitter and jealous! Totally pointless exercise!
Might be bitter, but that does not mean your observations about the narcissist r false.
@@SusanWashington11 no it doesn’t.. but it’s not my place to warn others.
The ex came to me,I told EVERYTHING.
then went gift giving the info to the narc to win him back.
Cheap desperate shot😮
My narc is so intelligent handsome and charming he has everyone thinking he’s the victim. He’s a covert narc. I’m the dog not him
I lived this.
The truth will be revealed... they can’t keep the mask for too long...
@@cosmiccocoa2689 so true. The end of the relationship with narcissist is the inspiration of this song I wrote.
It basically is saying, you’re not who you pretend to be, you have a mask and it doesn’t fool me.
ruclips.net/video/SJPEmwLYhws/видео.html
Same
What’s done in the dark always comes to light. Trust and believe they will get what’s coming to them.
I investigated my significant other of 6 years and found out who his NEW orher was so I initially warned her. He didnt have a clue I knew who she was. She was kind but said "it's different with us". I gave her my card and said "put this somewhere....
Call me when you want to talk". I was 55 at that time. 2 years later she called.
WOW.....she said she should have listened.
We took a picture of ourselves together over a glass of wine and sent it to him. Neither of us got hoovered!!👍We have remained best friends since.
You warn them if they are receptive. I was receptive, and the old supply picked up on this and it worked out for us both. His ex-wife looked out for me and let me know that he secretly GOT MARRIED while he and I were still in a full-blown relationship with me!! He legit said, "He's playin' you!" I truly appreciated her for that. Plus, she got her closure by sharing her side of the story after being married to him for 18yrs. In those years, he beat her, cheated etc. She SAVED me!
Never...that’s energy you need to devote to YOUR healing..