How Did I Recover from My Husband’s Affair: I Had to Draw a Line in the Sand
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- Опубликовано: 18 авг 2024
- Finding survivors of either their own infidelity or their spouse’s, who are also willing to publicly talk about their story, is no easy task. From the public shame, to the fear of being known for such painful life choices, to the uneasiness of telling your story in public, it’s just not easy. Today you’ll get to know Stephanie, a fearless survivor of her husband’s infidelity, addiction, and child out of wedlock. As we talk, you’ll hear a down to earth, “I’m not superwoman; I’m just someone who did the work” approach. After the infidelity came to light, she realized she had choices, and she chose to take a bold step toward her husband as he threw himself into his own recovery work. Today, Stephanie hopes to encourage those who find themselves in this awful position with a few tips that worked for her in the earlier days of her journey. No magic buttons, no unreal expectations, no loud preachy messages of all these things she did. Just a simple, yet courageous, approach to healing from years of dedicating herself to the principles taught by Rick Reynolds and affairecovery.com.
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“The Recovery Library gave me 24/7 support because I could be up at 3am and search for the topic I was struggling with. It also helped as a couple because we could investigate topics together so it wasn’t subjective. I trusted this information because it was from professionals who also had lived through and recovered from infidelity. Double credibility in my book.”
- Amanda, Florida
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Samuel is an infidelity survivor and is one of many contributors to Affair Recovery's Survivors’ Blog, www.affairreco.... He participated in Affair Recovery's courses developed by founder and infidelity expert Rick Reynolds, LCSW. After finding healing, hope, and new life, Samuel wishes to share his journey and what AffairRecovery.com has to offer with others so they too can find hope and healing.
I can’t trust anymore, I won’t let him hurt me again, he doesn’t get another chance. I just don’t understand her. I am working on forgiveness for myself, but reconciliation is not something I want.
I will tell u this dont let hollywood determine what to do bcz a lot of the people there are on a mess. If u go bac 3 4 generations people had these issues and worked on them talk to ur grand parents get the real story. I have even seen children coming out of this and over time the parties reconcile and they end up loving the child more than their own.....its about being human and the human condition.....whats your condition as a human? Can you love someone who is weak and needs you? Or would you punish bcz of pride or hollywood says so? Your human condition can you forgive someone you love? Or would u conjure the feeling of anger that would fade over time and when that goes, which it will, you will find there is love.....so be human not a patented hollywood response.
That is a very personal decision and dependent on so many different things. I hope you’ve found peace and forgiveness for yourself.
@@sarahalderman3126If someone is truly contrite, I'd give them another chance. It's a matter of the heart and repentance. I hope you heal. Bitterness is a killer.
Fair. I'm in the same boat. NEVER AGAIN will I allow myself to be hurt by this person. I am the ONLY ONE who can truly protect my heart. The moment I let my guard down , I open myself up to chaos I have ZERO interest in participating in any longer.
Stand your ground. Hardline the crap out of your boundaries
She spoke to my soul! We’ve been in recovery a little over two years and this is how we now see our marriage. Thank you so much for this video!
I am still walking alone with Christ through the valley and road to recovery in my own life. I too have related to the Book of Hosea in my personal life. Thank you for sharing part of your journey Stephanie
Why don't you guys ever address the sexual problems in the marriage after the affair ? feelings of sexual rejection, sexual comparisons to AP, obsessions, intrusive thoughts, feelings of disgust, long term damage ?
We have....there is a ton of stuff on our site that can be read/watched.
There are videos from AR that address restoring intimacy and intrusive thoughts. Also, the Harboring Hope course is invaluable and goes in depth about how to manage this and heal from it as well.
@@samshealingpodcast do you have links to any particular ones you feel may be helpful in this area please? Much love
@@samshealingpodcast which video’s on your site address these particular issues?
Sexual intimacy usually follows emotional intimacy and that requires building empathy and vulnerability and recovering from trauma and intrusive thoughts. Or, let me put it this way - once you get those cornerstones in place and are building a new, safer and emotionally intimate relationship, the sexual aspect typically doesn't need that much, if any help. Physical intimacy is a descendent of emotional intimacy.
First, thank you for this video, very much appreciated. I'm in my 5th year of recovery although the discloser was 10 years ago. Through the first 3-5 years I had hope that I would have the marriage and love life that I desired. However, the last 5 years I've worried that that is never going to happen. When I hear Stephanie talk about the 20th year of recovery, although she sounds contented, I don't see the love and life in her demeanor. This validates my fear of going through all this for very little return.
Thank you both for such a great conversation.
How do you deal with two steps forward and five steps backward in healing I'm the betrayed
I hear you, Melody.
Let’s give ourselves credit for making the progress we have, stay with the healing program we have chosen, be persistent in prayer and DO NOT QUIT.
We can reach a better place eventually - but giving up will get us nowhere!
👍
Please talk about female infidelity, it’s destructiveness, and the importance of holding unfaithful women accountable.
There are numerous videos on this channel that focus on an unfaithful female. I think it’s just that men are more often than not the unfaithful, especially initially. Basically that when women are unfaithful it is usually in response to their partner’s unfaithfulness.
@@sarahalderman3126I could not disagree with you more on the statement that men commit more infidelity than women! From my own experience of being the betrayed we as good men are very protective by nature and when we are betrayed even though we are destroyed emotionally we still will try and protect our unfaithful spouse and our own image and not tell anyone. We just end up suffering in silence because we do not want to be victims. I think that woman cheat more than men because they feel entitled to it and when they get caught they blame the man and the man protects them and it's not reported or talked about.
@@scottpaulsen7845 I agree brother. I want to love her and help her in spite of the unreal pain I'm feeling. It's very odd I feel this way instead of just complete hatred and anger. I was angry for a couple days, but since then I'm not. Hope you're doing well.
This woman is incredible
I tried to stay with my ex after I caught her in bed naked with another guy. I only lasted about a month before I just had to leave her for good. Now I'm back in the same situation, I can't believe it. This time I really want to stay, but I wonder if leaving would be much easier in the long run.
Am crying😭😭thank you, gave me so much hope..
He refused to acknowledge anything. All he did was lie and avoid and ran away and into her home, heart and bed. Is there now.
I'm so sorry. You are worth much better than to be treated like that. Focus on God's love right now. If you have pets, then cat love or dog love is invaluable to grab a few good moments to get you through the pain.
Do you have a video that will speak on the "safe but not healthy" aspect?
Oh my gosh I need help. I'm struggling!
Thank you, thank you, thank you. It really spoke to me and what I am going through.
I really need some advice -
Fiance and partner of 8 year's met a woman from work, I caught the affair before it physically started.
We seperated, but during the first 6months of attempts to reconcile he was having a full affair with this woman from work.
It is now finally over and again we are trying to move forward.
He is still working with this woman. My question is, should he leave his job?
He is reluctant to do so because of his salary and fear of rebuilding up his status.
What are your thoughts?
How much do you trust him? Personally, I would tell my spouse to get out of that situation because the temptation is too heavy and I would be unable to live with this insecurity caused by their continued interaction, albeit allegedly on a professional level.
Where can i watch the videos where they are talking with the child affair?
ruclips.net/video/6BlFNvLdem4/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/6BlFNvLdem4/видео.html
What meetings is she talking about?
Thank you!
Why is she laughing about a subject that the least funny? Disappointed in the interview.
Obviously she healed… and when you recognize and conquer your mistakes you can look back and realize how stupid you were.
What is this “work” you keep talking about?
🍻